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1
00:00:50,526 --> 00:00:52,006
- I'm going to build one
of these bunks, you know,
2
00:00:52,180 --> 00:00:53,398
at home after the war.
3
00:00:53,572 --> 00:00:54,443
- What are you
going to do with it?
4
00:00:54,617 --> 00:00:56,706
- I think I'll chop it up.
5
00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:58,534
- I'm not sure I should get
rid of this old mattress.
6
00:00:58,708 --> 00:01:01,406
It's so nice and thin, I
could use it as a sheet.
7
00:01:03,234 --> 00:01:05,236
- Oh, look at the lumps
in that bloody thing.
8
00:01:05,410 --> 00:01:06,803
How'd you ever sleep in it?
9
00:01:06,977 --> 00:01:08,196
- For every lump
in that mattress,
10
00:01:08,370 --> 00:01:10,111
there's a corresponding
dent in me.
11
00:01:11,242 --> 00:01:12,635
- Oh, schnell yourself.
12
00:01:12,809 --> 00:01:14,550
- You should be glad
to get new mattresses.
13
00:01:14,724 --> 00:01:18,380
- I am, Schultz, but it's
like losing an old friend.
14
00:01:18,554 --> 00:01:20,164
- What's the angle, Colonel?
15
00:01:20,338 --> 00:01:21,861
- Angle? What do you mean?
16
00:01:22,036 --> 00:01:24,038
- Yesterday, a new stove.
Today, new mattresses.
17
00:01:24,212 --> 00:01:25,909
- I don't understand you, Hogan.
18
00:01:26,083 --> 00:01:28,259
Every time I do something
decent, must I have an angle?
19
00:01:28,433 --> 00:01:31,959
- Yes.
- Dismissed.
20
00:01:32,133 --> 00:01:34,178
Oh, Hogan, you better see to it
21
00:01:34,352 --> 00:01:35,963
that the barracks are in order.
22
00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:38,139
The Red Cross inspector's going
to surprise us with a visit.
23
00:01:38,313 --> 00:01:39,836
- Mm-hmm, and as
soon as he leaves,
24
00:01:40,010 --> 00:01:41,359
so do the new mattresses.
25
00:01:41,533 --> 00:01:43,622
- You know, I never
thought of that.
26
00:01:43,796 --> 00:01:45,407
Hogan, I think you
would have made
27
00:01:45,581 --> 00:01:47,800
an excellent prison commandant.
28
00:01:47,975 --> 00:01:49,541
- I applied for the job,
but they wouldn't take me.
29
00:01:49,715 --> 00:01:50,803
I passed the mental test.
30
00:02:00,030 --> 00:02:01,031
- Schultz.
31
00:02:05,731 --> 00:02:07,124
Come on, Schultz.
32
00:02:08,996 --> 00:02:11,737
Fancy
bumping into you.
33
00:02:16,177 --> 00:02:18,701
- Major Hochstetter, how
very nice of you to drop by.
34
00:02:20,181 --> 00:02:22,531
- If anyone makes an
unnecessary move, shoot to kill.
35
00:02:22,705 --> 00:02:24,141
- Shoot to kill?
36
00:02:24,315 --> 00:02:25,012
What do you have in
the truck, prisoners?
37
00:02:25,186 --> 00:02:27,666
- No, dancing girls.
38
00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:29,320
Of course prisoners.
39
00:02:29,494 --> 00:02:31,279
The most important
prisoners you will ever see.
40
00:02:31,453 --> 00:02:33,368
Every important leader of
the underground movement.
41
00:02:33,542 --> 00:02:35,370
- Well, my congratulations,
Major Hochstetter.
42
00:02:35,544 --> 00:02:37,763
- What is this man doing here?
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
43
00:02:37,937 --> 00:02:39,243
Uh, Major Hochstetter,
44
00:02:39,417 --> 00:02:40,331
this is the American
prisoner, Colonel Hogan.
45
00:02:40,505 --> 00:02:41,811
Colonel Hogan, this is-
46
00:02:41,985 --> 00:02:43,595
- Klink, did I ask
for an introduction?
47
00:02:43,769 --> 00:02:44,988
- I just thought I'd show
the new prisoners around,
48
00:02:45,162 --> 00:02:46,337
with your permission, of course.
49
00:02:46,511 --> 00:02:48,992
- What is this man doing here?
50
00:02:49,166 --> 00:02:51,429
- Schultz, escort Colonel Hogan
back to the barracks at once.
51
00:02:51,603 --> 00:02:53,475
- Jawohl, Herr Commandant.
52
00:02:53,649 --> 00:02:54,954
- A special armed
guard is coming
53
00:02:55,129 --> 00:02:56,869
to take these
prisoners to Berlin.
54
00:02:57,044 --> 00:02:58,610
In the meantime, I
want you to prepare
55
00:02:58,784 --> 00:03:00,569
a maximum-security
block for them.
56
00:03:00,743 --> 00:03:03,398
- Yes, sir, maximum security.
- You can depend on me.
57
00:03:03,572 --> 00:03:05,182
- I am sure it's not
necessary to tell you
58
00:03:05,356 --> 00:03:08,098
what will happen to you should
there be an escape, hmm?
59
00:03:08,272 --> 00:03:10,361
An escape from
Stalag 13?
60
00:03:10,535 --> 00:03:12,320
- That's a good one.
- You will be shot.
61
00:03:12,494 --> 00:03:14,757
That's another good one.
62
00:03:16,976 --> 00:03:19,240
- What is this man doing here?
63
00:03:19,414 --> 00:03:20,632
- Just leaving.
64
00:03:25,333 --> 00:03:27,857
- Colonel Hogan, those
prisoners won't escape
65
00:03:28,031 --> 00:03:31,382
from Stalag 13, will they?
66
00:03:32,296 --> 00:03:34,298
- I don't know,
Schultz, but if they do,
67
00:03:34,472 --> 00:03:35,908
I'll make sure you're
the first to know.
68
00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:38,694
- Please, Colonel
Hogan, if they do,
69
00:03:38,868 --> 00:03:41,349
let me be the last to know.
70
00:03:58,583 --> 00:03:59,889
- Hi, Schultzy.
71
00:04:00,063 --> 00:04:01,586
- Have a cigarette?
- Go on, Schultz.
72
00:04:06,765 --> 00:04:08,202
Five guards with machine guns.
73
00:04:08,376 --> 00:04:09,507
They're sure not
taking any chances
74
00:04:09,681 --> 00:04:11,118
with those
underground prisoners.
75
00:04:11,292 --> 00:04:13,294
- And look who's
guarding us. Schultz.
76
00:04:13,468 --> 00:04:15,513
I think it's a plot to
make us feel worthless.
77
00:04:15,687 --> 00:04:18,299
- We will be if we don't
free those prisoners.
78
00:04:18,473 --> 00:04:20,518
- I don't want to seem
negative, Colonel,
79
00:04:20,692 --> 00:04:22,520
but getting those new
prisoners out of the cooler
80
00:04:22,694 --> 00:04:24,435
won't exactly be
a piece of cake.
81
00:04:24,609 --> 00:04:26,350
That translates into French
as
82
00:04:26,524 --> 00:04:29,353
and then back into English as
meaning definitely impossible.
83
00:04:29,527 --> 00:04:30,615
I'm with you.
84
00:04:30,789 --> 00:04:32,182
- From Hilda.
85
00:04:32,356 --> 00:04:34,053
Information on the
underground prisoners.
86
00:04:38,188 --> 00:04:40,756
- Lydon from Austria,
Albins from Belgium,
87
00:04:40,930 --> 00:04:43,411
Calaruso from Italy,
Belet from France.
88
00:04:45,064 --> 00:04:46,283
The major leaders
of the underground.
89
00:04:46,457 --> 00:04:47,763
- With those fellas
out of action,
90
00:04:47,937 --> 00:04:49,547
the Resistance movement
will be at a standstill.
91
00:04:49,721 --> 00:04:51,027
- Well, what are we
going to do about it?
92
00:04:51,201 --> 00:04:52,724
- It's simple. A tunnel.
93
00:04:52,898 --> 00:04:54,422
We dig a tunnel.
- Forget it.
94
00:04:54,596 --> 00:04:56,163
It would take us a
week to dig a tunnel.
95
00:04:56,337 --> 00:04:57,642
That special escort
will be here any day.
96
00:04:57,816 --> 00:04:59,340
- Well, all right.
97
00:04:59,514 --> 00:05:00,950
It was a rotten idea,
but at least I was first.
98
00:05:01,124 --> 00:05:03,039
- The cooler they're
being kept in,
99
00:05:03,213 --> 00:05:04,606
it's in pretty bad
shape, isn't it?
100
00:05:04,780 --> 00:05:06,085
- Shocking.
101
00:05:06,260 --> 00:05:07,826
- And with the Red
Cross inspector due,
102
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,351
it should be put in shape
like the rest of the camp.
103
00:05:10,525 --> 00:05:13,049
New mattresses,
new stove, right?
104
00:05:13,223 --> 00:05:14,746
- Right, but I
still don't see how
105
00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:16,661
that's going to help us
get those prisoners out.
106
00:05:16,835 --> 00:05:19,186
- Good. Maybe Klink
won't see how either.
107
00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:21,710
- And despite
adverse conditions,
108
00:05:21,884 --> 00:05:25,409
I am again forced to
report that Stalag 13
109
00:05:25,583 --> 00:05:28,369
is operating at 100% efficiency.
110
00:05:28,543 --> 00:05:30,849
I guess that sums it
up, Fraulein Hilda.
111
00:05:31,023 --> 00:05:33,112
Wouldn't you say so?
- Jawohl, Herr Commandant.
112
00:05:33,287 --> 00:05:35,506
Is that all?
- Not quite.
113
00:05:37,073 --> 00:05:38,509
You see, I just
came into possession
114
00:05:38,683 --> 00:05:40,468
of a perfectly splendid
bottle of wine,
115
00:05:40,642 --> 00:05:42,731
and I thought possibly this
afternoon you and I could-
116
00:05:42,905 --> 00:05:46,343
- Not today, Colonel. I just
don't quite feel up to it.
117
00:05:46,517 --> 00:05:47,431
- Perhaps tomorrow?
118
00:05:52,306 --> 00:05:53,872
Fill out that memo
in triplicate
119
00:05:54,046 --> 00:05:55,744
and send it out immediately.
120
00:05:55,918 --> 00:05:56,745
- Of course, sir.
121
00:06:01,097 --> 00:06:02,620
- Hogan, I don't recall
having sent for you.
122
00:06:02,794 --> 00:06:04,883
- Not a very friendly attitude.
123
00:06:05,057 --> 00:06:07,146
I certainly hope the new camp
commandant is more agreeable.
124
00:06:07,321 --> 00:06:10,149
New camp...
125
00:06:10,324 --> 00:06:11,934
That's ridiculous.
126
00:06:12,108 --> 00:06:13,718
- You didn't expect
to keep your job
127
00:06:13,892 --> 00:06:15,851
after the Red Cross
inspector sees this place?
128
00:06:16,025 --> 00:06:17,679
- You know, Hogan,
there are times
129
00:06:17,853 --> 00:06:20,334
when you can be most tiresome,
and this is one of them.
130
00:06:20,508 --> 00:06:23,119
Stalag 13 is a
model prison camp.
131
00:06:23,293 --> 00:06:24,686
- Really?
- Every inch.
132
00:06:24,860 --> 00:06:26,383
- Including the cooler,
133
00:06:26,557 --> 00:06:28,080
where the underground
prisoners are being held?
134
00:06:28,255 --> 00:06:29,560
- The comfort of those prisoners
135
00:06:29,734 --> 00:06:31,083
is Major Hochstetter's
concern, not mine.
136
00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:32,650
- You're not concerned.
137
00:06:32,824 --> 00:06:34,304
Well, I certainly
think Major Hochstetter
138
00:06:34,478 --> 00:06:35,653
wouldn't want to hear that.
- Hogan.
139
00:06:35,827 --> 00:06:36,785
- Colonel, I'm
trying to help you.
140
00:06:36,959 --> 00:06:38,003
Would Hochstetter do as much?
141
00:06:38,177 --> 00:06:39,614
- He gave the orders.
142
00:06:39,788 --> 00:06:41,442
No one is to interfere
with his prisoners.
143
00:06:41,616 --> 00:06:43,008
- Sure, what does he care?
144
00:06:43,182 --> 00:06:44,314
Is the Red Cross going
to mention his name
145
00:06:44,488 --> 00:06:45,837
to the Inspector General?
146
00:06:46,011 --> 00:06:48,275
You can bet your
monocle they won't.
147
00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:49,276
- But that's different.
148
00:06:49,450 --> 00:06:50,799
- Well, sure, it is.
149
00:06:50,973 --> 00:06:52,714
But just remember,
the Inspector General
150
00:06:52,888 --> 00:06:56,500
always has an extra ticket handy
for the Stalingrad Express.
151
00:06:59,286 --> 00:07:00,417
- Just a moment, Hogan.
152
00:07:06,205 --> 00:07:07,859
What's to be done exactly?
153
00:07:08,033 --> 00:07:10,732
- Nothing much. Clean
up, a new stove.
154
00:07:10,906 --> 00:07:12,951
We have new mattresses, they
should have new mattresses.
155
00:07:13,125 --> 00:07:15,214
Otherwise the old ones will
stick out like a sore thumb.
156
00:07:15,389 --> 00:07:16,955
- But, but Major Hochstetter-
157
00:07:17,129 --> 00:07:19,131
- Change them when
Hochstetter isn't around.
158
00:07:19,306 --> 00:07:20,307
It'll only take your
men a few minutes.
159
00:07:20,481 --> 00:07:21,612
I'll supervise for you.
160
00:07:22,744 --> 00:07:25,747
- My men? It's your idea.
161
00:07:25,921 --> 00:07:28,576
Your men will change them,
and I will supervise.
162
00:07:28,750 --> 00:07:30,317
- I wouldn't have
it any other way.
163
00:07:39,369 --> 00:07:40,979
- Can't your men
work any faster?
164
00:07:41,153 --> 00:07:43,155
- All right, come on, fellas.
Speed it up.
165
00:07:46,507 --> 00:07:47,856
- Look at the time.
166
00:07:48,030 --> 00:07:49,379
They're supposed to
be finished by now.
167
00:07:49,553 --> 00:07:51,250
- Relax. Hochstetter's
in town, isn't he?
168
00:07:51,425 --> 00:07:53,818
- What if he comes back early?
- So what? Who's in charge here?
169
00:07:53,992 --> 00:07:55,211
You give the orders.
170
00:07:55,385 --> 00:07:56,255
You're not afraid
of Hochstetter.
171
00:07:56,430 --> 00:07:57,822
If he interferes, tell him off.
172
00:07:57,996 --> 00:07:59,694
- Yes, of course.
173
00:07:59,868 --> 00:08:02,087
- I'm glad you feel that
way, because here he comes.
174
00:08:02,261 --> 00:08:03,915
- What is going on here, Klink?
175
00:08:04,089 --> 00:08:06,048
What are these men doing
around the restricted area?
176
00:08:06,222 --> 00:08:07,571
- Major Hochstetter,
please control yourself.
177
00:08:07,745 --> 00:08:09,094
We're just doing a
little housecleaning.
178
00:08:09,268 --> 00:08:11,096
- Housecleaning?
This is a prison.
179
00:08:11,270 --> 00:08:13,316
- Major Hochstetter,
back from town so soon?
180
00:08:13,490 --> 00:08:17,059
- Klink, isn't this
man ever locked up?
181
00:08:17,233 --> 00:08:18,626
- Careful how you talk
to Colonel Klink, sir.
182
00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:20,497
The Gestapo doesn't
frighten him.
183
00:08:20,671 --> 00:08:23,239
- Hogan! Sir, Colonel
Hogan is most cooperative.
184
00:08:23,413 --> 00:08:24,980
- It's the only way to be, sir.
185
00:08:25,154 --> 00:08:26,590
And I'm sure you've got
more important things to do,
186
00:08:26,764 --> 00:08:28,244
so don't let us hold you up.
- What is this?
187
00:08:28,418 --> 00:08:30,028
- Uh, this is a mattress, sir.
188
00:08:30,202 --> 00:08:31,813
- I know it's a mattress.
What are you doing with it?
189
00:08:31,987 --> 00:08:33,205
- Oh, that's all right, Major.
190
00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:34,772
They are just
following my orders.
191
00:08:36,513 --> 00:08:38,036
- Oh?
- The Red Cross inspector.
192
00:08:38,210 --> 00:08:40,082
He would never approve
those mattresses.
193
00:08:40,256 --> 00:08:41,605
- Why?
- What's wrong with them?
194
00:08:41,779 --> 00:08:43,302
- Well, they're
old, they're worn.
195
00:08:43,477 --> 00:08:44,739
- Probably contaminated.
196
00:08:45,914 --> 00:08:47,655
- They look all
right to me. Halt!
197
00:08:52,355 --> 00:08:54,052
- Hogan, you and your men.
198
00:08:54,226 --> 00:08:55,358
- The truck.
199
00:09:02,278 --> 00:09:03,758
This is your idea
of housecleaning?
200
00:09:03,932 --> 00:09:05,150
- Major Hochstetter,
I don't understand.
201
00:09:05,324 --> 00:09:06,761
Believe me.
- Traitor.
202
00:09:09,459 --> 00:09:12,027
From now on, anyone who
crosses this line will be shot.
203
00:09:12,201 --> 00:09:15,944
- Major Hochstetter.
- Especially Colonel Klink.
204
00:09:16,118 --> 00:09:17,902
- This is unheard
of. I assure you.
205
00:09:18,076 --> 00:09:19,338
- Just a hunch, Colonel,
206
00:09:19,513 --> 00:09:22,690
but I don't think you're
wanted around here.
207
00:09:22,864 --> 00:09:24,256
We really blew that one.
208
00:09:24,431 --> 00:09:25,780
- All the way.
209
00:09:25,954 --> 00:09:27,259
- Yeah, the old Kraut's
going to be pretty tough
210
00:09:27,434 --> 00:09:29,131
to live with from now on.
211
00:09:29,305 --> 00:09:30,959
- Oh, I can handle Klink.
212
00:09:31,133 --> 00:09:33,048
It's the guys in the
underground I'm worried about.
213
00:09:33,222 --> 00:09:34,223
- We can forget about them.
214
00:09:34,397 --> 00:09:35,659
Hochstetter's doubled the guard.
215
00:09:35,833 --> 00:09:37,487
- LeBeau's right.
They're done for.
216
00:09:37,661 --> 00:09:39,663
- They won't get out
'til the war's over.
217
00:09:41,883 --> 00:09:42,710
- Yeah.
218
00:09:44,712 --> 00:09:45,539
Yeah, that's it.
219
00:09:46,844 --> 00:09:48,455
- What's it?
- What you said.
220
00:09:48,629 --> 00:09:49,978
That's the answer.
221
00:09:50,152 --> 00:09:51,283
They won't get out
until the war's over.
222
00:09:51,458 --> 00:09:52,850
- So?
- It's simple.
223
00:09:53,024 --> 00:09:56,375
We'll end the war.
224
00:09:56,550 --> 00:09:57,942
- Do you really think
we're going to convince
225
00:09:58,116 --> 00:09:59,727
Klink and Hochstetter
that the war is over?
226
00:09:59,901 --> 00:10:01,772
- There's no guarantee,
but if we pull it off,
227
00:10:01,946 --> 00:10:03,861
those underground prisoners
are going to go free.
228
00:10:04,035 --> 00:10:05,254
- It's got to be worth a try.
229
00:10:05,428 --> 00:10:06,864
- All right, good. Thomas?
230
00:10:07,038 --> 00:10:08,518
- The radio station
in Hammelburg.
231
00:10:08,692 --> 00:10:10,694
We'll take it exactly 4:55.
232
00:10:10,868 --> 00:10:12,043
- You got your script?
- Yeah, right here.
233
00:10:12,217 --> 00:10:13,697
- All right, good. Newkirk?
234
00:10:13,871 --> 00:10:15,394
- I take care of the
switchboard, sir.
235
00:10:15,569 --> 00:10:17,135
- And you intercept
Hochstetter's call to Berlin.
236
00:10:17,309 --> 00:10:18,963
- But what if he
doesn't make it?
237
00:10:19,137 --> 00:10:21,183
- Don't worry, he'll
make it. LeBeau?
238
00:10:21,357 --> 00:10:23,272
- Dummy newspaper,
plant it on Schultz.
239
00:10:23,446 --> 00:10:25,448
- Good. Now, Hilda
knows what to do?
240
00:10:25,622 --> 00:10:27,276
- Don't worry.
241
00:10:27,450 --> 00:10:29,234
She'll get Klink to turn on
the radio at exactly 5:00,
242
00:10:29,408 --> 00:10:33,325
just for you and a pound of
coffee and six pair of nylons.
243
00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:34,501
- Ain't love grand?
244
00:10:35,545 --> 00:10:37,329
- Thanks. Let's go.
245
00:10:39,941 --> 00:10:41,551
- Fraulein Hilda,
one sip of this
246
00:10:41,725 --> 00:10:45,729
and you won't be able
to control yourself.
247
00:10:45,903 --> 00:10:47,383
- Why, Colonel, whatever
gave you the idea
248
00:10:47,557 --> 00:10:50,908
that I would want
to control myself?
249
00:10:51,082 --> 00:10:51,779
- Don't be bashful.
250
00:10:51,953 --> 00:10:52,780
Bottoms up.
251
00:10:53,824 --> 00:10:57,567
- Mm. It's marvelous.
252
00:10:57,741 --> 00:11:00,265
It makes me feel warm all over.
253
00:11:00,439 --> 00:11:02,006
- Me, too.
254
00:11:02,180 --> 00:11:03,660
- But you haven't had any yet.
255
00:11:03,834 --> 00:11:06,358
Oh.
256
00:11:06,533 --> 00:11:08,360
- Do you know what
I'd really like?
257
00:11:08,535 --> 00:11:10,319
- Name it.
- Music.
258
00:11:10,493 --> 00:11:12,539
Romantic music.
259
00:11:23,114 --> 00:11:25,552
- That was nice, yeah?
260
00:11:25,726 --> 00:11:30,469
And now our Fuhrer's favorite,
The Ride of the Valkyries
261
00:11:30,644 --> 00:11:35,083
dedicated to our victorious
troops on the Russian front.
262
00:11:48,487 --> 00:11:49,750
- We interrupt this program
263
00:11:49,924 --> 00:11:51,969
to bring you an
important news bulletin.
264
00:11:52,143 --> 00:11:53,797
The war is over.
265
00:11:53,971 --> 00:11:55,712
Armistice has been declared.
266
00:11:55,886 --> 00:11:59,542
At 4:55 this afternoon, the
Berlin High Command announced
267
00:11:59,716 --> 00:12:01,370
the end of hostilities
between Germany
268
00:12:01,544 --> 00:12:04,852
and the Allied forces,
officially ending the war.
269
00:12:05,026 --> 00:12:07,202
We repeat, the war is over.
270
00:12:07,376 --> 00:12:10,640
Stay tuned to this station
for further bulletins.
271
00:12:15,340 --> 00:12:17,299
- Fraulein Hilda, did you
hear that? The war is over.
272
00:12:17,473 --> 00:12:19,040
Call Colonel Hogan,
Major Hochstetter.
273
00:12:19,214 --> 00:12:21,956
The war is over.
It's over. It's over.
274
00:12:24,175 --> 00:12:26,569
But I tell you, I heard
it with my own ears.
275
00:12:26,743 --> 00:12:28,832
- Impossible. There
must be some mistake.
276
00:12:29,006 --> 00:12:31,182
- How could I make a mistake
about something like that?
277
00:12:31,356 --> 00:12:33,097
- If anybody could
make a mistake
278
00:12:33,271 --> 00:12:36,013
about something like that,
Klink, you are the one.
279
00:12:36,187 --> 00:12:37,885
- It was on the radio.
280
00:12:38,059 --> 00:12:39,103
The High Command announced it.
281
00:12:39,277 --> 00:12:41,018
I heard it with my own ears.
282
00:12:41,192 --> 00:12:42,672
Fraulein Hilda heard it, too.
283
00:12:42,846 --> 00:12:44,239
Fraulein Hilda.
284
00:12:44,413 --> 00:12:45,849
- Yes, sir.
285
00:12:46,023 --> 00:12:47,677
- Did you hear the
armistice announcement?
286
00:12:47,851 --> 00:12:50,071
- Well, I'm not sure.
287
00:12:50,245 --> 00:12:52,813
You see, I was concentrating
on something else at the time.
288
00:12:52,987 --> 00:12:56,077
Dear girl.
289
00:12:56,251 --> 00:12:58,427
- There must be some
way of confirming it.
290
00:12:58,601 --> 00:13:00,298
- Well, there's Colonel Bomberg.
291
00:13:00,472 --> 00:13:01,691
Surely he would know.
292
00:13:01,865 --> 00:13:03,867
- Call him. Call him.
293
00:13:04,041 --> 00:13:06,174
- Very well, Klink,
but I warn you,
294
00:13:06,348 --> 00:13:08,567
if you have me make
a fool of myself-
295
00:13:08,742 --> 00:13:10,047
- I tell you, it's true, sir.
296
00:13:10,221 --> 00:13:11,353
It is true.
297
00:13:13,050 --> 00:13:14,399
- Operator.
298
00:13:14,573 --> 00:13:15,531
Hello, operator.
299
00:13:18,708 --> 00:13:20,405
- Your call, please.
300
00:13:20,579 --> 00:13:21,972
- Yeah, this is
Major Hochstetter.
301
00:13:22,146 --> 00:13:27,108
I want to speak to
Colonel Bomberg.
302
00:13:30,459 --> 00:13:34,724
- Colonel Bomberg's office.
Leutnant von Streckner speaking.
303
00:13:34,898 --> 00:13:37,205
- This is Major Hochstetter.
Is Colonel Bomberg in?
304
00:13:37,379 --> 00:13:39,686
- Jawohl, Major, but he
may have a little trouble
305
00:13:39,860 --> 00:13:41,470
getting to the telephone.
306
00:13:41,644 --> 00:13:45,866
The last time I saw him, he
was swinging from a chandelier.
307
00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:49,217
- Bomberg is swinging
from a chandelier.
308
00:13:49,391 --> 00:13:50,218
Well,
if the war isn't over,
309
00:13:50,392 --> 00:13:53,874
he just cracked up.
310
00:13:54,048 --> 00:13:57,704
- Hello. Hello, Bomberg.
Hochstetter here.
311
00:13:57,878 --> 00:14:01,142
Bomberg, I wonder if you
could verify a rumor that, uh-
312
00:14:01,316 --> 00:14:04,232
- It's all over, Hochstetter.
Did you hear the news?
313
00:14:04,406 --> 00:14:06,060
It's over.
314
00:14:06,234 --> 00:14:09,977
Back to the party.
315
00:14:10,151 --> 00:14:12,501
- Hello. Hello?
316
00:14:12,675 --> 00:14:15,722
- Heidi, I told
you, everybody out.
317
00:14:21,336 --> 00:14:24,948
Hochstetter, it's wild
here, I tell you. Wild.
318
00:14:25,122 --> 00:14:26,689
- I can't believe it.
319
00:14:26,863 --> 00:14:29,300
Are you sure the war is over?
320
00:14:29,474 --> 00:14:33,130
- What is this, some kind
of a joke? Sure, I'm sure.
321
00:14:33,304 --> 00:14:36,177
Don't you think I know when
a war is over, Dummkopf?
322
00:14:36,351 --> 00:14:37,569
- Oh, of course, I do.
323
00:14:37,744 --> 00:14:39,876
It's just that it's so sudden.
324
00:14:40,050 --> 00:14:42,618
- Look, if it's too sudden
for you, Hochstetter,
325
00:14:42,792 --> 00:14:44,489
why don't you make
believe that the war is on
326
00:14:44,663 --> 00:14:47,405
for a couple of days while
I go back to the party?
327
00:14:48,319 --> 00:14:50,539
- No, no, I heard
that the war was over.
328
00:14:50,713 --> 00:14:53,063
I just wanted to check
with you to make sure.
329
00:14:53,237 --> 00:14:55,587
- You can take my word for it.
330
00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:58,765
The war is definitely over.
331
00:15:00,810 --> 00:15:01,811
Oh, what about the party?
332
00:15:01,985 --> 00:15:02,986
Everybody's coming and it's my-
333
00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:05,162
Oh, Liebchen, give me one.
334
00:15:05,336 --> 00:15:06,381
But you told me-
335
00:15:06,555 --> 00:15:08,557
Ah, but ladies, please, please.
336
00:15:08,731 --> 00:15:12,126
You're tearing my
uniform. Get back.
337
00:15:14,650 --> 00:15:16,695
Oh, so long, Hochstetter.
338
00:15:22,701 --> 00:15:24,442
- Well, it's over.
339
00:15:24,616 --> 00:15:26,096
It's really over.
340
00:15:26,270 --> 00:15:27,532
- See, I told you so.
341
00:15:28,098 --> 00:15:31,275
Yeah, not bad.
342
00:15:31,449 --> 00:15:33,103
Not bad, Colonel.
343
00:15:33,277 --> 00:15:35,889
Had me fooled for a minute,
but that hokey phone call.
344
00:15:36,063 --> 00:15:38,021
Come on, Hochstetter.
345
00:15:38,195 --> 00:15:40,023
- Hokey phone call?
346
00:15:40,197 --> 00:15:42,243
- You went one step
too far, overdone.
347
00:15:42,417 --> 00:15:44,332
It's like your German operas.
348
00:15:44,506 --> 00:15:46,508
- I heard it from
Bomberg himself.
349
00:16:00,304 --> 00:16:02,611
- Hey, Schultzy, did you
drop this can of chocolate?
350
00:16:02,785 --> 00:16:03,917
- Did I?
- You must have.
351
00:16:04,091 --> 00:16:05,222
It isn't mine.
352
00:16:05,396 --> 00:16:06,571
I'll get it for you.
- Ah, ah.
353
00:16:06,745 --> 00:16:08,182
I wouldn't ask a
prisoner to do something
354
00:16:08,356 --> 00:16:12,490
I would not do myself.
355
00:16:12,664 --> 00:16:15,058
Yeah, it is mine.
356
00:16:15,232 --> 00:16:16,930
I must have a hole in my pocket.
357
00:16:17,104 --> 00:16:19,062
- You also have one
in your character.
358
00:16:19,236 --> 00:16:23,501
No one is perfect.
359
00:16:41,345 --> 00:16:44,218
- Believe me, Hogan, if
Bomberg says the war is over,
360
00:16:44,392 --> 00:16:46,002
the war is over.
361
00:16:46,176 --> 00:16:48,222
- Really, Hogan, you're the
most stubborn man I've ever met.
362
00:16:48,396 --> 00:16:50,354
- I'm not stubborn,
I'm wise to you.
363
00:16:50,528 --> 00:16:52,443
You release the prisoners,
they walk out the gate,
364
00:16:52,617 --> 00:16:54,750
the Gestapo's waiting
outside with machine guns.
365
00:16:54,924 --> 00:16:59,450
Shot while escaping. I'm
just not buying it, Klink.
366
00:16:59,624 --> 00:17:02,149
- Colonel, Colonel,
Colonel, it's over.
367
00:17:02,323 --> 00:17:04,281
The war is over.
368
00:17:04,455 --> 00:17:07,632
- Well, Hogan, what
do you say now?
369
00:17:11,941 --> 00:17:13,987
- I, I don't know what to think.
370
00:17:16,511 --> 00:17:18,643
- I am the colonel,
you are the sergeant,
371
00:17:18,817 --> 00:17:20,819
and you are not discharged yet.
372
00:17:21,908 --> 00:17:23,257
- Speaking of discharges,
373
00:17:23,431 --> 00:17:24,649
what are you planning
on doing, Colonel?
374
00:17:24,823 --> 00:17:25,781
I mean, if the war
is really over?
375
00:17:25,955 --> 00:17:28,479
- Well, back to civilian life.
376
00:17:28,653 --> 00:17:32,005
You know, Hogan, a man with
my experience as a bookkeeper
377
00:17:32,179 --> 00:17:34,224
shouldn't have any
trouble finding work.
378
00:17:34,398 --> 00:17:36,313
All the big companies
need bookkeepers.
379
00:17:36,487 --> 00:17:37,706
- How about you, Schultz?
380
00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:40,317
- I was in toys,
but the government
381
00:17:40,491 --> 00:17:42,363
took over the toy factory
for the war effort.
382
00:17:42,537 --> 00:17:44,278
Now that the war is over,
383
00:17:44,452 --> 00:17:47,107
I hope they're going to
give back the toy factory.
384
00:17:47,281 --> 00:17:48,978
Then we can make toys again.
385
00:17:49,152 --> 00:17:50,371
- And what company
was it, Schultz?
386
00:17:50,545 --> 00:17:52,677
- The Schatzi Toy Company.
387
00:17:52,851 --> 00:17:54,157
- Oh.
388
00:17:54,331 --> 00:17:55,942
Hogan, you wouldn't
know about that,
389
00:17:56,116 --> 00:17:58,031
but the Schatzi Toy Company
is the biggest toy company
390
00:17:58,205 --> 00:17:59,510
in all of Germany.
391
00:17:59,684 --> 00:18:00,729
Schultz, do you think
your boss would give you
392
00:18:00,903 --> 00:18:02,296
your old job back, huh?
393
00:18:02,470 --> 00:18:06,213
- Why not? I'm the boss.
394
00:18:06,387 --> 00:18:09,390
- You own the
Schatzi Toy Company?
395
00:18:09,564 --> 00:18:13,524
Jawohl.
396
00:18:13,698 --> 00:18:15,962
- Schultz, would
you like a cigar?
397
00:18:16,136 --> 00:18:17,659
- Thank you, Colonel.
398
00:18:17,833 --> 00:18:20,923
- Please don't call me
Colonel. Call me Wilhelm.
399
00:18:21,097 --> 00:18:23,012
- Danke, Wilhelm.
400
00:18:25,928 --> 00:18:26,885
- Hogan, you're a free man.
401
00:18:27,060 --> 00:18:28,452
The war is over. You may go.
402
00:18:28,626 --> 00:18:29,801
- Um, if you don't
mind, I'll wait.
403
00:18:29,976 --> 00:18:31,325
I'm still not sold.
404
00:18:31,499 --> 00:18:33,501
- Do as you wish.
- Of course it's really
405
00:18:33,675 --> 00:18:35,329
none of my business,
Major Hochstetter,
406
00:18:35,503 --> 00:18:37,766
but you could help erase the
bad image the Gestapo has
407
00:18:37,940 --> 00:18:39,594
by releasing your prisoners now.
408
00:18:39,768 --> 00:18:41,030
I mean, they're civilians.
409
00:18:41,204 --> 00:18:43,728
That is, if the
war is really over.
410
00:18:43,902 --> 00:18:45,948
- Hogan, the war is over.
411
00:18:47,515 --> 00:18:49,952
But I think I'd better wait.
412
00:18:50,126 --> 00:18:52,476
A special armed guard is
on its way here from Berlin
413
00:18:52,650 --> 00:18:54,087
to pick them up.
414
00:18:54,261 --> 00:18:56,132
- Believe me, Hochstetter,
those armed guards
415
00:18:56,306 --> 00:18:58,047
turned back the moment
they heard the news.
416
00:18:58,221 --> 00:18:59,657
While you're here
waiting for them,
417
00:18:59,831 --> 00:19:01,920
they're back in Berlin
dancing in the streets.
418
00:19:03,009 --> 00:19:04,706
- Yeah, you may be right.
419
00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:06,751
- And I think Colonel Hogan
had a very good suggestion.
420
00:19:06,925 --> 00:19:09,058
I don't think it would do
any harm for the Gestapo
421
00:19:09,232 --> 00:19:10,799
to act a little bit more human.
422
00:19:10,973 --> 00:19:13,845
- Klink.
- Careful, the war is over.
423
00:19:15,804 --> 00:19:17,762
- You know what?
- What?
424
00:19:19,460 --> 00:19:22,593
- I think I will go
release my prisoners.
425
00:19:26,249 --> 00:19:30,297
- Now I'm convinced
the war is over.
426
00:19:30,471 --> 00:19:33,343
♪ In all my dreams ♪
427
00:19:33,517 --> 00:19:36,172
♪ In all my dreams ♪
428
00:19:36,346 --> 00:19:37,956
- Look at them.
429
00:19:38,131 --> 00:19:39,306
I told them they can go and
they're having such a good time.
430
00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:40,872
They don't want to leave.
431
00:19:41,047 --> 00:19:43,962
- No one ever wants
to leave Stalag 13.
432
00:19:44,137 --> 00:19:45,399
- Excuse me a minute.
433
00:19:45,573 --> 00:19:46,748
I should be sharing
this moment with my men.
434
00:19:54,582 --> 00:19:55,974
All right, hold it, hold it.
435
00:19:56,149 --> 00:19:57,498
We didn't go to all
this work just to have
436
00:19:57,672 --> 00:19:59,021
the eight of you
organize a singing group.
437
00:19:59,195 --> 00:20:00,240
- Sorry, Colonel, we
couldn't tell them.
438
00:20:00,414 --> 00:20:02,807
Schultz was here.
- Okay, beat it.
439
00:20:02,981 --> 00:20:05,549
- Haven't you heard,
Colonel? The war is over.
440
00:20:05,723 --> 00:20:07,116
- I know, the five
of us ended it,
441
00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:08,639
and as soon as Klink and
Hochstetter find out,
442
00:20:08,813 --> 00:20:10,815
they're going to
start it up again.
443
00:20:10,989 --> 00:20:12,295
- What a beautiful job.
444
00:20:12,469 --> 00:20:14,210
How did you do it?
- No time now.
445
00:20:14,384 --> 00:20:15,646
You can read about it next
month in Stars and Stripes.
446
00:20:15,820 --> 00:20:18,214
Now beat it.
447
00:20:18,388 --> 00:20:19,911
- Keep up the good work.
- Yeah, same to you.
448
00:20:20,086 --> 00:20:21,087
- Come on.
- Goodbye, then.
449
00:20:21,261 --> 00:20:23,263
- Hold it, hold it.
450
00:20:23,437 --> 00:20:25,308
You guys should go in style.
451
00:20:25,482 --> 00:20:27,745
Major Hochstetter, can I
see you a minute, please?
452
00:20:27,919 --> 00:20:29,443
- Don't push your luck, Colonel.
453
00:20:30,574 --> 00:20:31,575
- If you hear there's a war on,
454
00:20:31,749 --> 00:20:34,926
you've got to take chances.
455
00:20:35,101 --> 00:20:36,885
- Yes?
456
00:20:37,059 --> 00:20:38,278
- Your, uh, your prisoners
have decided to leave us,
457
00:20:38,452 --> 00:20:39,931
but it's a long hike into town.
458
00:20:40,106 --> 00:20:41,368
I was wondering if they
might borrow your car.
459
00:20:41,542 --> 00:20:43,805
- Borrow my car?
460
00:20:43,979 --> 00:20:45,546
- Well, they'll return it
tomorrow, won't you, fellas?
461
00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:47,156
- Yeah.
462
00:20:47,330 --> 00:20:48,766
- These are going to
be big men in industry,
463
00:20:48,940 --> 00:20:51,073
and who knows?
You may need a job.
464
00:20:53,206 --> 00:20:54,990
- Well, I don't-
- Look, I'll tell you what.
465
00:20:55,164 --> 00:20:56,513
I'll sign for it.
466
00:20:56,687 --> 00:20:58,167
If they don't return
it, I'll pay for it.
467
00:20:58,341 --> 00:20:59,734
- Yes, but this-
468
00:20:59,908 --> 00:21:02,215
- What difference does
it make? The war's over.
469
00:21:02,389 --> 00:21:05,218
- Well, yes, the
war is over but...
470
00:21:07,568 --> 00:21:10,048
Well, all right, take the car.
471
00:21:42,342 --> 00:21:44,170
- Well, gentlemen,
shall we celebrate?
472
00:21:45,519 --> 00:21:47,869
Ah, General Busse, this is
indeed a great pleasure.
473
00:21:48,043 --> 00:21:49,175
- Speak for yourself, Klink.
474
00:21:49,349 --> 00:21:51,046
Now, what is this?
475
00:21:51,220 --> 00:21:53,918
Guards without guns,
uniforms unbuttoned,
476
00:21:54,092 --> 00:21:55,442
prisoners running wild?
477
00:21:55,616 --> 00:21:58,009
- Well, I-
- You call this discipline?
478
00:21:58,184 --> 00:21:59,620
No, sir.
479
00:21:59,794 --> 00:22:02,144
- General.
- At ease.
480
00:22:02,318 --> 00:22:05,626
I heard in Berlin that
congratulations are in order.
481
00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:07,410
Capturing those
underground leaders
482
00:22:07,584 --> 00:22:09,195
is quite a feather
in your cap, huh?
483
00:22:09,369 --> 00:22:10,805
- Thank you, General.
484
00:22:10,979 --> 00:22:13,286
Of course, it doesn't
mean as much now, hmm?
485
00:22:13,460 --> 00:22:16,550
Now that the war is over?
486
00:22:16,724 --> 00:22:19,205
The what is what?
487
00:22:19,379 --> 00:22:21,381
- The war, It's over.
488
00:22:21,555 --> 00:22:23,383
- The war is over.
489
00:22:23,557 --> 00:22:24,906
- That's right, General.
Haven't you heard?
490
00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:27,648
- No, and neither
have the Americans.
491
00:22:27,822 --> 00:22:30,477
They bombed Berlin
just one half hour ago.
492
00:22:31,652 --> 00:22:32,914
- You mean the war isn't over?
493
00:22:34,045 --> 00:22:36,265
- Of course it is not over.
494
00:22:36,439 --> 00:22:38,311
- Gee, Hochstetter,
what a bad break.
495
00:22:38,485 --> 00:22:39,921
And after you let those four
underground prisoners go.
496
00:22:40,095 --> 00:22:42,271
But you made a lot of
friends for the Gestapo.
497
00:22:43,881 --> 00:22:47,668
- You stupid fool, you.
You have been tricked.
498
00:22:47,842 --> 00:22:50,845
And you, you, you,
you idiot, you.
499
00:22:51,019 --> 00:22:52,368
I will see to it that you are-
500
00:22:52,542 --> 00:22:54,327
- Sir, I hate to butt in,
501
00:22:54,501 --> 00:22:56,459
but all of Colonel Klink's
prisoners are still here.
502
00:22:56,633 --> 00:22:59,506
- That's right. That's right.
503
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:01,551
Schultz, close the gates.
504
00:23:01,725 --> 00:23:04,424
The war is back on.
505
00:23:04,598 --> 00:23:06,904
- I will deal with
you back in Berlin.
506
00:23:07,078 --> 00:23:08,515
Now follow me in your car.
507
00:23:12,780 --> 00:23:13,781
- My car?
508
00:23:14,651 --> 00:23:17,872
I, well, sir...
509
00:23:19,090 --> 00:23:20,135
My car...
510
00:23:21,658 --> 00:23:24,270
- Uh, uh, sir,
knowing your sense
511
00:23:24,444 --> 00:23:25,923
of fair play, you can
understand the major
512
00:23:26,097 --> 00:23:27,316
lending his car
to the prisoners.
513
00:23:27,490 --> 00:23:28,578
I mean, it's miles to town.
514
00:23:28,752 --> 00:23:31,886
- You did what?
515
00:23:32,060 --> 00:23:34,105
Get in my car.
516
00:23:39,676 --> 00:23:41,504
- Amazing, Hogan,
absolutely amazing.
517
00:23:41,678 --> 00:23:43,201
- What was, sir?
518
00:23:43,376 --> 00:23:44,942
- That the underground
could create such a hoax.
519
00:23:45,116 --> 00:23:46,335
- I'm surprised they
fooled the Gestapo.
520
00:23:46,509 --> 00:23:48,337
- Well, it didn't surprise me.
521
00:23:48,511 --> 00:23:49,338
- I'll remember that.
522
00:23:49,512 --> 00:23:51,035
- You'll forget it.
523
00:23:53,864 --> 00:23:56,693
- Wilhelm, if you work
for me after the war,
524
00:23:56,867 --> 00:23:59,566
I hope you won't be
so easily fooled.
525
00:24:01,829 --> 00:24:04,397
You and Hochstetter.
526
00:24:11,186 --> 00:24:13,231
The war is not over.
527
00:24:13,406 --> 00:24:16,539
- The war is not over.
528
00:24:16,713 --> 00:24:18,541
- Out?
- Out.
529
00:24:20,326 --> 00:24:22,589
- Jawohl, Herr Commandant.
530
00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:26,984
- What was that you
said about the Gestapo?
531
00:24:27,158 --> 00:24:28,595
Forget it.
532
00:24:37,081 --> 00:24:39,388
He would make a
lousy bookkeeper.
39417
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