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1
00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:58,621
- There's a bit of luck for ya.
2
00:00:58,795 --> 00:01:01,363
The bloody snow is covering
up the entrance to the tunnel.
3
00:01:01,537 --> 00:01:03,060
- Well, I know it's
around here someplace.
4
00:01:07,325 --> 00:01:08,326
- What's he looking for?
5
00:01:08,500 --> 00:01:09,545
- A tree stump.
6
00:01:10,589 --> 00:01:12,026
- No, don't tell me.
7
00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:14,463
He's gonna hide nuts
in there for winter.
8
00:01:14,637 --> 00:01:16,726
- We go down through
it to a tunnel.
9
00:01:16,900 --> 00:01:18,597
- Where's the tunnel lead to?
10
00:01:21,557 --> 00:01:22,775
- Well?
11
00:01:22,950 --> 00:01:24,690
- I could've sworn this was it.
12
00:01:24,864 --> 00:01:25,648
- Come on.
13
00:01:28,477 --> 00:01:30,479
- Come on, come on.
14
00:01:32,742 --> 00:01:33,917
Come on.
15
00:01:34,091 --> 00:01:37,877
Come on, Carter!
16
00:01:38,052 --> 00:01:39,705
You clumsy oaf.
17
00:01:39,879 --> 00:01:40,837
- I couldn't help it.
I tripped over this tree stump.
18
00:01:41,011 --> 00:01:42,012
- Come on!
19
00:01:44,232 --> 00:01:45,624
Tree stump?
20
00:01:45,798 --> 00:01:47,191
- Tree stump, come on!
21
00:01:52,414 --> 00:01:54,416
Wunderbar.
22
00:01:54,590 --> 00:01:55,808
- Go on, go on.
23
00:01:58,159 --> 00:01:59,595
All right, now keep moving.
24
00:02:01,553 --> 00:02:02,902
Just keep moving
and wait down there
25
00:02:03,077 --> 00:02:04,208
when you get down there.
Keep moving along.
26
00:02:04,382 --> 00:02:05,862
- Hurry up.
27
00:02:06,036 --> 00:02:07,733
- All right, now, Carter,
you get down there.
28
00:02:07,907 --> 00:02:10,823
All I need, mate, is to come
looking for you in a blizzard.
29
00:02:14,653 --> 00:02:15,872
Go on.
30
00:02:22,444 --> 00:02:23,967
- They're coming down
the tunnel now, Colonel.
31
00:02:24,141 --> 00:02:25,708
The underground says those
guys bailed out three days ago.
32
00:02:25,882 --> 00:02:27,144
They must be frozen.
33
00:02:27,318 --> 00:02:28,145
- I will give them
some of my brandy.
34
00:02:28,319 --> 00:02:29,538
That should warm them up.
35
00:02:29,712 --> 00:02:30,626
- Yeah, and if
they got frostbite,
36
00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:31,409
they can pour it on their feet.
37
00:02:34,891 --> 00:02:35,718
- Let's go, Carter.
38
00:02:35,892 --> 00:02:37,720
Yeah, there you go.
39
00:02:37,894 --> 00:02:39,548
- Welcome to Stalag 13.
I'm Colonel Hogan.
40
00:02:39,722 --> 00:02:42,377
- Captain Morgan, Stalag 13?
41
00:02:42,551 --> 00:02:43,726
You've gotta be kidding.
42
00:02:44,640 --> 00:02:47,947
- We're in a
prisoner-of-war camp!
43
00:02:48,122 --> 00:02:49,732
- Here's some brandy.
44
00:02:49,906 --> 00:02:51,560
Oh, I'm sorry!
- That's all right.
45
00:02:51,734 --> 00:02:54,041
It's the first time my foot's
been warm in three days.
46
00:02:56,260 --> 00:02:57,914
- Here, Captain.
- Thank you.
47
00:02:58,088 --> 00:02:59,263
Now I know why the underground
48
00:02:59,437 --> 00:03:01,178
didn't tell us
where we were going.
49
00:03:01,352 --> 00:03:02,919
- The less you know, the less
you talk if you're captured.
50
00:03:03,093 --> 00:03:05,226
- Well, I know the Germans
are out to take prisoners,
51
00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:07,054
but I never knew you fellas
were in business for yourselves.
52
00:03:07,228 --> 00:03:09,839
- Let's just say we've
eliminated the middleman.
53
00:03:10,013 --> 00:03:11,449
- We'll keep you here
till the heat's off,
54
00:03:11,623 --> 00:03:12,972
then outfit you and get
you some new papers.
55
00:03:13,147 --> 00:03:14,887
- It's our job to
get you out of here.
56
00:03:15,062 --> 00:03:16,106
- Well, I hope you're as
good at getting us out
57
00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:17,107
as getting us in.
58
00:03:17,281 --> 00:03:19,066
- Don't worry, Captain.
59
00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:20,458
You and your men will be back
on flying duty within a week.
60
00:03:20,632 --> 00:03:21,981
- Colonel, there's
a squad of Gestapo
61
00:03:22,156 --> 00:03:23,505
going into Klink's office,
62
00:03:23,679 --> 00:03:25,072
and they got axes and
picks and shovels.
63
00:03:26,377 --> 00:03:28,336
- What's that mean, Colonel?
64
00:03:28,510 --> 00:03:29,467
- I don't know.
65
00:03:29,641 --> 00:03:30,338
Kinch, get out the coffee pot.
66
00:03:30,512 --> 00:03:31,339
Right.
67
00:03:33,341 --> 00:03:35,647
- How can you take a coffee
break at a time like this?
68
00:03:35,821 --> 00:03:37,214
- You got a better
way of listening in
69
00:03:37,388 --> 00:03:39,042
on the Commandant's office?
70
00:03:52,969 --> 00:03:54,753
- Ah, Major Hochstetter,
come in, come in.
71
00:03:54,927 --> 00:03:57,321
Always nice to see
your smiling face.
72
00:03:57,495 --> 00:03:59,454
- He only smiles
at train wrecks.
73
00:03:59,628 --> 00:04:01,499
- Who's Hochstetter?
- Gestapo.
74
00:04:01,673 --> 00:04:02,979
- Are you here on
military business,
75
00:04:03,153 --> 00:04:04,807
or is this a social call?
76
00:04:04,981 --> 00:04:07,375
- I don't pay anybody
a social call.
77
00:04:07,549 --> 00:04:09,028
- I wish he hadn't said that.
78
00:04:09,203 --> 00:04:11,335
Klink can't stand rejection.
79
00:04:11,509 --> 00:04:12,728
- What can I do for
you, Major Hochstetter?
80
00:04:12,902 --> 00:04:14,643
Are you aware that
last Monday night,
81
00:04:14,817 --> 00:04:16,862
an American plane dropped a
bomb on Gestapo headquarters?
82
00:04:17,036 --> 00:04:19,126
Demolished the building,
wiped out the garrison,
83
00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:20,997
killed Commandant Hedrick,
84
00:04:21,171 --> 00:04:23,739
knocked the Fuhrer's picture
off the wall and everything!
85
00:04:23,913 --> 00:04:25,175
- No, sir, I was playing
86
00:04:25,349 --> 00:04:26,568
pinochle with
Captain Broomschmeel.
87
00:04:26,742 --> 00:04:28,004
- It was a great
personal loss to me.
88
00:04:28,178 --> 00:04:29,005
- It was a great
personal loss to me.
89
00:04:29,179 --> 00:04:30,615
He took me for 50 marks.
90
00:04:30,789 --> 00:04:32,748
- But our antiaircraft
shut down the bomber.
91
00:04:32,922 --> 00:04:34,228
- That's good.
92
00:04:34,402 --> 00:04:35,533
- But the crew
parachuted to safety.
93
00:04:35,707 --> 00:04:36,969
- Oh, that's bad.
94
00:04:37,144 --> 00:04:38,232
- But we know where
they are hiding.
95
00:04:38,406 --> 00:04:39,189
- That's good, where?
- Here.
96
00:04:39,363 --> 00:04:40,451
- Impossible.
97
00:04:40,625 --> 00:04:42,279
- Impossible, we shall see.
98
00:04:42,453 --> 00:04:45,282
I'm ordering my men to search
every inch of this camp.
99
00:04:45,456 --> 00:04:48,503
- Sir, I am commandant
of Stalag 13.
100
00:04:48,677 --> 00:04:50,896
- That is exactly why
I'm ordering the search.
101
00:04:51,070 --> 00:04:53,029
- Major Hochstetter,
may I remind you
102
00:04:53,203 --> 00:04:56,075
that my record
here is impeccable?
103
00:04:56,250 --> 00:04:59,992
No enemy soldier has ever
gotten out of Stalag 13.
104
00:05:00,167 --> 00:05:02,038
- But how is your
record on enemy soldiers
105
00:05:02,212 --> 00:05:03,735
getting into Stalag 13?
106
00:05:03,909 --> 00:05:04,910
- What are you driving at?
107
00:05:05,084 --> 00:05:06,695
- We have searched this area,
108
00:05:06,869 --> 00:05:08,262
and we have come to the
conclusion that those flyers
109
00:05:08,436 --> 00:05:10,264
might very well be
hiding in this very camp.
110
00:05:10,438 --> 00:05:12,179
- Are you suggesting
these men are here?
111
00:05:12,353 --> 00:05:14,050
- Exactly.
112
00:05:14,224 --> 00:05:15,965
But why would an
enemy soldier trying to escape
113
00:05:16,139 --> 00:05:17,749
hide in a prisoner-of-war camp?
114
00:05:17,923 --> 00:05:19,969
- I've been trying to
figure that one out myself.
115
00:05:20,143 --> 00:05:22,363
- They might very well hide
here until the search is over,
116
00:05:22,537 --> 00:05:23,755
and then make their escape.
117
00:05:23,929 --> 00:05:26,018
Not in Stalag 13.
118
00:05:26,193 --> 00:05:27,933
- I am taking no chances.
119
00:05:28,107 --> 00:05:29,848
- I'm ordering my men
to search every barracks
120
00:05:30,022 --> 00:05:32,590
for anything suspicious,
especially tunnels.
121
00:05:33,896 --> 00:05:35,550
What are you doing, Klink?
122
00:05:35,724 --> 00:05:37,421
- I am calling
General Burkhalter.
123
00:05:37,595 --> 00:05:40,337
I will not allow the Gestapo
to take over my camp!
124
00:05:40,511 --> 00:05:43,471
Here is General Burkhalter's
written permission.
125
00:05:47,953 --> 00:05:49,172
- Make yourself at
home, Major Hochstetter.
126
00:05:49,346 --> 00:05:51,305
My camp is your camp.
127
00:05:51,479 --> 00:05:54,656
- The general has given me 48
hours to find the Americans.
128
00:05:54,830 --> 00:05:55,657
- Why are you in such a hurry?
129
00:05:55,831 --> 00:05:57,398
Take your time.
130
00:05:57,572 --> 00:05:59,095
- I never knew
Klink was so tough.
131
00:05:59,269 --> 00:06:00,792
He stood up to the Gestapo
for almost 30 seconds.
132
00:06:00,966 --> 00:06:02,794
- Shh.
133
00:06:02,968 --> 00:06:04,361
I think we'll begin
the search with Barracks one.
134
00:06:04,535 --> 00:06:06,015
- What do we do now, Colonel?
135
00:06:06,885 --> 00:06:07,712
- I don't know.
136
00:06:07,886 --> 00:06:09,279
- Well, I got an idea.
137
00:06:09,453 --> 00:06:10,976
Why don't we go back
down the tunnel,
138
00:06:11,150 --> 00:06:13,109
come up through the stump,
contact the underground,
139
00:06:13,283 --> 00:06:14,980
and punch them all in the mouth?
140
00:06:15,154 --> 00:06:17,461
- Bad idea, Captain.
141
00:06:17,635 --> 00:06:19,637
- Sure, you guys
got nothing to lose,
142
00:06:19,811 --> 00:06:21,073
but if they catch us,
it's goodbye, Charlie.
143
00:06:21,248 --> 00:06:22,466
- I know one thing, Colonel.
144
00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:23,902
We're not gonna wait around,
145
00:06:24,076 --> 00:06:25,904
waiting for the
Gestapo to nail us.
146
00:06:26,078 --> 00:06:27,906
- Kinch?
- Yes, sir.
147
00:06:28,864 --> 00:06:30,126
- Take them down to the tunnel.
- Right, Colonel.
148
00:06:30,300 --> 00:06:31,345
- Now you're talking
sense, Colonel.
149
00:06:31,519 --> 00:06:32,215
- But you're not going out.
150
00:06:32,389 --> 00:06:33,695
- Why not?
151
00:06:33,869 --> 00:06:35,392
- Because the whole area
is lousy with Krauts.
152
00:06:35,566 --> 00:06:36,350
They'd find you in a minute.
153
00:06:36,524 --> 00:06:37,873
- Well, what do we do
154
00:06:38,047 --> 00:06:39,309
when the Gestapo finds
us in the tunnel?
155
00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:40,397
Tell them we're on
a three-day pass?
156
00:06:40,571 --> 00:06:42,007
- They're not gonna find you.
157
00:06:42,181 --> 00:06:43,008
- Sure?
158
00:06:43,182 --> 00:06:44,880
- Cross my heart,
159
00:06:45,054 --> 00:06:48,318
because we're gonna dig a whole
new tunnel for them to find.
160
00:06:48,492 --> 00:06:50,189
- All right, men,
down the tunnel.
161
00:06:52,801 --> 00:06:53,802
- LeBeau, Newkirk.
- Yes, sir.
162
00:06:53,976 --> 00:06:55,282
Yes, sir.
163
00:06:55,456 --> 00:06:57,109
- Start digging a tunnel
under the sink, huh?
164
00:06:57,284 --> 00:06:58,676
- Right.
165
00:07:01,288 --> 00:07:03,333
- Here they come.
- I like their timing.
166
00:07:03,507 --> 00:07:04,247
Carter,
help me with the sink.
167
00:07:04,421 --> 00:07:05,422
- Yeah.
168
00:07:11,167 --> 00:07:12,473
- All set, Colonel.
169
00:07:12,647 --> 00:07:14,257
- Good, Newkirk,
you know what to do.
170
00:07:14,431 --> 00:07:15,693
- Right, sir.
171
00:07:20,785 --> 00:07:23,222
- Everybody line
up for roll call!
172
00:07:25,137 --> 00:07:27,139
- Well, what a
pleasant surprise.
173
00:07:27,314 --> 00:07:28,576
- I don't think it will be
174
00:07:28,750 --> 00:07:29,794
so pleasant for
you, Colonel Hogan.
175
00:07:29,968 --> 00:07:31,361
- Ah, Major Hochstetter,
176
00:07:31,535 --> 00:07:33,450
always a pleasure to
see your smiling face.
177
00:07:33,624 --> 00:07:35,931
Uh, did you come on
military business,
178
00:07:36,105 --> 00:07:38,020
or is this a social call?
179
00:07:38,194 --> 00:07:40,065
- What is it at
your camp, Klink?
180
00:07:40,239 --> 00:07:43,460
Everybody thinks I'm
a social butterfly.
181
00:07:45,462 --> 00:07:47,812
Never mind the
social amenities, Hogan.
182
00:07:47,986 --> 00:07:49,945
Major Hochstetter is here
to inspect the barracks.
183
00:07:50,119 --> 00:07:51,207
- Oh, go right ahead.
184
00:07:51,381 --> 00:07:53,340
It's humble, but it is home.
185
00:07:54,558 --> 00:07:55,994
You'll have to
excuse the mess, sir.
186
00:07:56,168 --> 00:07:57,474
The cleaning woman doesn't
come till Thursday.
187
00:08:10,879 --> 00:08:12,881
- Why are you hiding the hand?
- What hand?
188
00:08:13,055 --> 00:08:14,578
- The hand in that pocket.
189
00:08:14,752 --> 00:08:15,536
- What pocket, sir?
190
00:08:15,710 --> 00:08:18,016
- That pocket!
191
00:08:18,190 --> 00:08:20,410
- Oh, well, it's very
cold in here, sir.
192
00:08:20,584 --> 00:08:22,978
- Then why don't you have
both hands in the pocket?
193
00:08:23,152 --> 00:08:25,981
Both, oh, I
forgot I had two hands, sir.
194
00:08:26,155 --> 00:08:27,199
Thank you very much.
195
00:08:30,289 --> 00:08:33,684
- Why do you have fresh
dirt under the fingernails?
196
00:08:33,858 --> 00:08:35,251
- Sir, have you ever tried
197
00:08:35,425 --> 00:08:36,470
to get an appointment
for a manicure here?
198
00:08:36,644 --> 00:08:37,645
It is murder.
199
00:08:37,819 --> 00:08:39,081
- Look at my nails.
200
00:08:39,255 --> 00:08:40,430
I haven't had a
manicure in weeks.
201
00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:42,519
- There you are, sir.
202
00:08:42,693 --> 00:08:44,695
- Newkirk, where's the tunnel?
203
00:08:44,869 --> 00:08:46,044
- Tunnel, sir, what tunnel?
204
00:08:47,916 --> 00:08:51,615
- Why did you kick
dirt under the sink?
205
00:08:51,789 --> 00:08:53,704
- Because cleanliness
is next to godliness.
206
00:08:53,878 --> 00:08:55,880
- And a clean barracks
is a happy barracks.
207
00:08:56,054 --> 00:08:57,839
- And a happy barracks
is a happy prison camp.
208
00:08:58,013 --> 00:08:59,318
- And a happy prison camp is-
209
00:08:59,493 --> 00:09:00,972
- Silence!
210
00:09:13,811 --> 00:09:16,161
I think I found the tunnel.
211
00:09:19,469 --> 00:09:21,732
- Schultz, don't push, pull!
212
00:09:22,864 --> 00:09:24,126
Just as I thought.
213
00:09:24,300 --> 00:09:25,823
We kept our eyes on this
barracks for weeks,
214
00:09:25,997 --> 00:09:26,868
right, Schultz?
215
00:09:27,042 --> 00:09:28,522
- Jawohl, Herr Commandant.
216
00:09:28,696 --> 00:09:30,219
- I seemed to have
discovered an escape attempt
217
00:09:30,393 --> 00:09:32,613
before it got very far.
218
00:09:32,787 --> 00:09:34,615
- Well, sir, we were
planning to let them dig
219
00:09:34,789 --> 00:09:38,619
just a little more
before we crushed them.
220
00:09:38,793 --> 00:09:40,664
- You will have this
tunnel filled with cement,
221
00:09:40,838 --> 00:09:44,102
and severe disciplinary
action will be taken.
222
00:09:44,276 --> 00:09:46,061
- Yes, sir, yes,
Major Hochstetter.
223
00:09:47,192 --> 00:09:48,803
Colonel Hogan, you and your men
224
00:09:48,977 --> 00:09:51,240
are restricted to the
barracks until further notice.
225
00:09:51,414 --> 00:09:52,676
I'll see you later.
226
00:09:52,850 --> 00:09:55,723
- We will keep searching
for our friends.
227
00:09:55,897 --> 00:09:58,073
Colonel
Hogan, in the middle of a war.
228
00:09:58,247 --> 00:09:59,596
Shame on you.
229
00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:03,774
- The phony tunnel
was magnifique.
230
00:10:03,948 --> 00:10:05,341
Carter,
watch the door.
231
00:10:06,255 --> 00:10:07,386
Come on up, fellas!
232
00:10:07,561 --> 00:10:08,649
- Come on in, gentlemen!
233
00:10:11,129 --> 00:10:14,916
There you go, fellas.
234
00:10:15,090 --> 00:10:17,005
Give you wine next time.
235
00:10:17,962 --> 00:10:19,573
- All right, look.
236
00:10:19,747 --> 00:10:21,096
We'll wait till the Gestapo
has cemented the tunnel.
237
00:10:21,270 --> 00:10:22,271
When they leave, you leave.
238
00:10:22,445 --> 00:10:23,315
- Okay.
239
00:10:25,143 --> 00:10:26,493
- Mayday, Colonel,
here comes Schultz!
240
00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:27,494
Come on,
back in the tunnel!
241
00:10:27,668 --> 00:10:28,451
- All back in the tunnel!
242
00:10:28,625 --> 00:10:29,539
It's stuck!
243
00:10:29,713 --> 00:10:31,323
- Don't panic, don't panic!
244
00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:32,542
- All right, forget it,
everybody, go run for cover!
245
00:10:33,891 --> 00:10:34,544
Hide under there!
246
00:10:39,984 --> 00:10:41,377
Hurry, under here!
247
00:10:41,551 --> 00:10:42,421
Quick, get over here.
248
00:10:42,596 --> 00:10:44,119
Come on, make it fast, hurry up!
249
00:10:53,345 --> 00:10:54,782
- Oh, Colonel Hogan,
250
00:10:54,956 --> 00:10:57,219
prepare the men to move
to another barracks.
251
00:10:57,393 --> 00:10:58,655
- Oh, come on, Schultz.
252
00:10:58,829 --> 00:11:00,309
We just finished
redecorating this place.
253
00:11:00,483 --> 00:11:01,876
- Those are my orders.
254
00:11:02,050 --> 00:11:04,922
Everybody pack and
move in ten minutes!
255
00:11:11,146 --> 00:11:13,148
- What now, Colonel Hogan?
256
00:11:13,322 --> 00:11:14,628
- You'll go with us.
257
00:11:14,802 --> 00:11:16,020
We can't take any chances
258
00:11:16,194 --> 00:11:17,500
with the Gestapo working
in this barracks.
259
00:11:17,674 --> 00:11:19,676
- The snow's coming down
pretty heavy now, sir.
260
00:11:19,850 --> 00:11:20,938
That should cover the move.
261
00:11:21,112 --> 00:11:22,853
- Well, what about the tunnel?
262
00:11:23,027 --> 00:11:26,465
- Captain, in this camp,
there are 20 barracks.
263
00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:29,077
We have a connecting
tunnel to all but one.
264
00:11:29,251 --> 00:11:30,600
- Which one's that?
265
00:11:30,774 --> 00:11:32,907
- Barracks 4, but the
odds are 20 to one
266
00:11:33,081 --> 00:11:34,952
they won't move us into that.
267
00:11:36,824 --> 00:11:38,913
- Colonel, if you ever
get out of this camp
268
00:11:39,087 --> 00:11:40,523
and go back to civilian life,
269
00:11:40,697 --> 00:11:43,091
don't try to make your
living as a bookie.
270
00:11:51,403 --> 00:11:53,754
You've been looking out that
window for an hour, Colonel.
271
00:11:53,928 --> 00:11:55,146
- Trying to figure a new plan
272
00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:56,670
to get you guys
out of this camp.
273
00:11:56,844 --> 00:11:58,367
- Well, maybe Santa
Claus will drive by,
274
00:11:58,541 --> 00:12:00,543
and we can escape in his sleigh.
275
00:12:00,717 --> 00:12:02,893
- Colonel Hogan, can we go
out and play in the snow?
276
00:12:03,067 --> 00:12:05,330
- Why don't we all go
out and play in the snow?
277
00:12:05,504 --> 00:12:07,855
Maybe the Gestapo
has skis for rent.
278
00:12:08,029 --> 00:12:09,247
- Hey, I don't know how to ski,
279
00:12:09,421 --> 00:12:11,075
but I know how to
make a snowman.
280
00:12:11,249 --> 00:12:12,599
- Not a bad idea, Carter.
281
00:12:12,773 --> 00:12:14,862
- Oh, wait a minute, Colonel.
282
00:12:15,036 --> 00:12:16,428
We're not gonna
sit around waiting
283
00:12:16,603 --> 00:12:18,343
while you and your
men build a snowman.
284
00:12:18,517 --> 00:12:20,563
- This snowman
you're gonna like!
285
00:12:22,565 --> 00:12:23,827
I think I'll talk
Sergeant Schultz
286
00:12:24,001 --> 00:12:25,829
into letting us build a snowman.
287
00:12:27,744 --> 00:12:29,311
- All right, men, follow me.
288
00:12:33,663 --> 00:12:35,056
- Where you going, Captain?
289
00:12:35,230 --> 00:12:36,884
- We're gonna make
a break for it.
290
00:12:37,058 --> 00:12:38,537
I wouldn't do
that if I were you, Captain.
291
00:12:38,712 --> 00:12:40,365
- We're not gonna sit
around waiting to be shot
292
00:12:40,539 --> 00:12:42,106
while Hogan's
building a snowman.
293
00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:43,412
- If he wants to build one,
294
00:12:43,586 --> 00:12:45,414
he's got a good reason for it.
295
00:12:45,588 --> 00:12:46,763
- Of course he has.
296
00:12:46,937 --> 00:12:48,547
He's stir crazy!
297
00:12:50,462 --> 00:12:52,987
Now, I'm ordering you to
stand away from the door.
298
00:12:55,946 --> 00:12:58,514
There are five of
us and four of you.
299
00:13:02,431 --> 00:13:05,086
- Now it's even, five and five.
300
00:13:05,260 --> 00:13:06,478
- What's going on?
301
00:13:06,653 --> 00:13:07,523
- We're gonna make
a break for it.
302
00:13:07,697 --> 00:13:09,481
- Not until we build a snowman.
303
00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:12,354
- Colonel, I don't care if you
are the ranking officer, we-
304
00:13:12,528 --> 00:13:14,356
- And a tunnel underneath it.
305
00:13:23,887 --> 00:13:26,063
- Schultz, why are these pris...
306
00:13:26,237 --> 00:13:29,327
Why are these prisoners
building a snowman?
307
00:13:29,501 --> 00:13:34,376
- Eh, Colonel Hogan requested
it in place of exercises.
308
00:13:35,159 --> 00:13:39,424
- Build a snowman
in freezing weather?
309
00:13:39,598 --> 00:13:41,731
- And they wonder why
they're losing the war.
310
00:13:48,477 --> 00:13:50,305
- Okay, Carter, up it comes.
311
00:14:20,335 --> 00:14:23,077
- Oh, oh my!
312
00:14:23,251 --> 00:14:25,209
Oh, I've got to have a rest
before I go out there again.
313
00:14:25,383 --> 00:14:27,342
- Oh, me, too.
314
00:14:27,516 --> 00:14:29,039
Boy, I'm gonna tell
you, I'm bushed.
315
00:14:29,213 --> 00:14:30,998
- Will you stop complaining?
316
00:14:31,172 --> 00:14:32,651
- Well, listen,
that's hard work.
317
00:14:32,826 --> 00:14:34,566
Is this all you
guys have got done?
318
00:14:35,567 --> 00:14:38,179
- You think it's easy wrapping
a handful of dirt with snow?
319
00:14:38,353 --> 00:14:41,138
- And I'm saving this one just
for you for a snowball fight.
320
00:14:41,312 --> 00:14:42,313
- How you doing, Newkirk?
321
00:14:42,487 --> 00:14:44,098
- Won't be long now, Captain.
322
00:14:44,272 --> 00:14:45,621
We should be connecting up
323
00:14:45,795 --> 00:14:46,665
with the other tunnel
in about an hour.
324
00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:47,884
- Oh!
325
00:14:52,410 --> 00:14:55,152
- Oh, not another
inspection, Schultz.
326
00:14:55,326 --> 00:14:58,721
- Ooh, it's freezing
cold outside!
327
00:14:58,895 --> 00:15:03,291
Ah, I just came in to
have a little coffee
328
00:15:03,465 --> 00:15:06,250
from my little friend, LeBeau.
329
00:15:06,424 --> 00:15:08,513
- All of a sudden, I'm
his little friend, LeBeau.
330
00:15:10,515 --> 00:15:13,997
- Oh, you all must be crazy
standing outside in the cold,
331
00:15:14,171 --> 00:15:18,915
making that silly snowman, ah.
332
00:15:20,830 --> 00:15:21,962
- Something wrong, Schultz?
333
00:15:22,136 --> 00:15:23,659
- Why are you so warm, Carter?
334
00:15:23,833 --> 00:15:25,487
- Warm?
335
00:15:25,661 --> 00:15:27,402
- You're perspiring, and you
were outside in the cold.
336
00:15:27,576 --> 00:15:28,969
- It must be these barracks.
337
00:15:29,143 --> 00:15:32,624
God, it's like a ruddy
steam bath in here.
338
00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:34,409
- You think it's warm in here?
339
00:15:34,583 --> 00:15:36,977
- Warm, well, it's
nearly 100 degrees.
340
00:15:37,151 --> 00:15:38,892
Hey, Carter, put the fire out.
341
00:15:39,066 --> 00:15:40,458
- Oh, that's a
great idea, Newkirk.
342
00:15:40,632 --> 00:15:42,504
- What, what are you doing?
343
00:15:42,678 --> 00:15:44,898
- It's as hot as
it can be in here.
344
00:15:45,072 --> 00:15:47,291
I just want to cool
the room off, Schultz.
345
00:15:47,465 --> 00:15:49,337
- Oh, Colonel Hogan, please,
346
00:15:49,511 --> 00:15:52,383
tell Carter to leave
the fire alone.
347
00:15:52,557 --> 00:15:53,994
- What are you talking
about, Schultz?
348
00:15:54,168 --> 00:15:55,560
- We were just trying
to explain to Schultz
349
00:15:55,734 --> 00:15:57,214
that the reason
we're all perspiring
350
00:15:57,388 --> 00:15:59,129
is because it's so warm in here.
351
00:15:59,303 --> 00:16:00,957
- Oh, yeah, that's
right, Schultz.
352
00:16:01,131 --> 00:16:03,351
And don't think Klink isn't
gonna hear about this.
353
00:16:05,179 --> 00:16:09,096
- Colonel, please,
please, Colonel Hogan!
354
00:16:09,270 --> 00:16:12,664
- Schultz, it's against
the Geneva Convention
355
00:16:12,839 --> 00:16:15,406
to make prisoners sweat.
356
00:16:15,580 --> 00:16:16,668
- Ah!
357
00:16:16,843 --> 00:16:17,887
- Oh, that's really refreshing.
358
00:16:20,368 --> 00:16:23,458
- Colonel Hogan, if you
all are all so warm,
359
00:16:23,632 --> 00:16:24,894
how come that I'm
still freezing?
360
00:16:25,068 --> 00:16:26,461
- Ah!
361
00:16:26,635 --> 00:16:27,549
- Why don't you put
yourself on sick call
362
00:16:27,723 --> 00:16:29,246
and find out, Schultz?
363
00:16:29,420 --> 00:16:30,595
- Oh!
I think you're right.
364
00:16:30,769 --> 00:16:33,207
- Oh!
- I'm still cold.
365
00:16:44,435 --> 00:16:48,091
- Colonel, bloody insanity.
366
00:16:49,484 --> 00:16:50,354
- Ooh, ooh!
367
00:16:52,313 --> 00:16:54,010
Hilda, I, ah, oh, here you are.
368
00:16:54,184 --> 00:16:55,838
Hilda, is the commandant
in his office?
369
00:16:56,012 --> 00:16:57,753
- He is busy with
Major Hochstetter.
370
00:16:57,927 --> 00:16:58,754
- Oh, Hilda, I have to see him.
371
00:16:58,928 --> 00:17:00,364
It's an emergency.
372
00:17:00,538 --> 00:17:01,365
- What's the matter?
373
00:17:01,539 --> 00:17:02,453
- I'm sick, Hilda.
374
00:17:03,628 --> 00:17:04,716
- How do you know you're sick?
375
00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:07,241
- Because I'm cold.
376
00:17:08,329 --> 00:17:09,156
- Who isn't cold?
377
00:17:09,330 --> 00:17:10,722
It's freezing outside.
378
00:17:10,897 --> 00:17:12,202
- But you don't
understand, Hilda.
379
00:17:12,376 --> 00:17:14,596
- Everybody else is warm.
380
00:17:14,770 --> 00:17:15,902
- I'm not warm.
381
00:17:17,991 --> 00:17:19,209
- Oh, please, Herr Commandant-
382
00:17:19,383 --> 00:17:20,907
- Schultz, what
are you doing here?
383
00:17:21,081 --> 00:17:22,560
- I have to report I have
to go to the hospital.
384
00:17:22,734 --> 00:17:24,345
- The hospital?
- Jawohl, Herr Commandant.
385
00:17:24,519 --> 00:17:26,347
I'm going to be in the
hospital two or three weeks,
386
00:17:26,521 --> 00:17:29,089
then four or five
months in a rest camp,
387
00:17:29,263 --> 00:17:30,917
and then a 30-day furlough.
388
00:17:31,091 --> 00:17:34,137
I'll be back in, uh,
sometime in August.
389
00:17:34,311 --> 00:17:36,052
- And all planned, Schultz.
390
00:17:36,226 --> 00:17:37,836
- Yes, Herr Major.
391
00:17:38,011 --> 00:17:42,450
I understand it takes a long
time to recover from pneumonia.
392
00:17:43,799 --> 00:17:46,715
- No, what makes you sure that
you have pneumonia, Schultz?
393
00:17:46,889 --> 00:17:48,108
- Because I'm cold.
394
00:17:48,282 --> 00:17:49,544
- Of course you're
cold, dummkopf.
395
00:17:49,718 --> 00:17:51,111
It's snowing outside!
396
00:17:51,285 --> 00:17:53,765
- Yes, but I'm also
cold when I'm inside.
397
00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:55,637
- We're all cold inside!
398
00:17:55,811 --> 00:17:57,813
- Yeah, but, uh, Herr Major,
399
00:17:57,987 --> 00:18:00,207
when I left the
prisoners' barracks,
400
00:18:00,381 --> 00:18:04,472
they were sitting around with
their shirts off, sweating,
401
00:18:04,646 --> 00:18:06,343
and the windows open.
402
00:18:06,517 --> 00:18:09,564
- Klink, the prisoners
have heat in the barracks?
403
00:18:09,738 --> 00:18:12,523
- Perhaps they're smuggling
it in, Major Hochstetter.
404
00:18:12,697 --> 00:18:13,698
- Ah!
405
00:18:23,317 --> 00:18:24,405
- I'm glad you're here, sir.
406
00:18:24,579 --> 00:18:25,580
We'd like to
requisition some gloves.
407
00:18:25,754 --> 00:18:27,408
Our hands are frozen.
408
00:18:27,582 --> 00:18:29,758
- Request denied, it was
your idea to build a snowman.
409
00:18:29,932 --> 00:18:31,455
- My hands are frostbitten, sir,
410
00:18:31,629 --> 00:18:34,110
and I haven't even been outside.
411
00:18:34,284 --> 00:18:35,459
- I thought you were
all sitting around
412
00:18:35,633 --> 00:18:37,679
perspiring with
the windows open?
413
00:18:37,853 --> 00:18:38,985
- Who said that?
414
00:18:39,159 --> 00:18:40,508
- Schultz!
415
00:18:40,682 --> 00:18:42,684
- Well, he's a
sick man, Colonel.
416
00:18:43,772 --> 00:18:45,252
- He said he saw it
with his own eyes.
417
00:18:45,426 --> 00:18:46,688
- Well, eh, snow blindness.
418
00:18:46,862 --> 00:18:48,516
- Snow blindness?
419
00:18:48,690 --> 00:18:50,126
- Yes, yes, it's like being
out in the desert, sir.
420
00:18:50,300 --> 00:18:51,823
I mean, after you're in
the snow long enough,
421
00:18:51,998 --> 00:18:53,608
you start seeing mirages.
422
00:18:53,782 --> 00:18:55,262
- If he continues
to act so peculiar,
423
00:18:55,436 --> 00:18:56,872
he will be seeing
the Russian front,
424
00:18:57,046 --> 00:18:59,135
and that will be no mirage.
425
00:19:11,147 --> 00:19:14,107
- There you go,
right down inside.
426
00:19:14,281 --> 00:19:15,021
Take it easy now.
427
00:19:20,330 --> 00:19:22,376
Down there, take it easy.
428
00:19:23,638 --> 00:19:24,639
- Schultz.
429
00:19:24,813 --> 00:19:26,075
- Then you do it, Carter!
430
00:19:26,249 --> 00:19:27,859
- Well, okay, I'd
be glad to do it,
431
00:19:28,034 --> 00:19:29,209
'cause that's about the
worst-looking snowman I ever-
432
00:19:29,383 --> 00:19:30,210
- Well, you keep
on criticizing me!
433
00:19:30,384 --> 00:19:31,820
- What's going on here?
434
00:19:31,994 --> 00:19:32,864
- I do a better snowman
than you'll ever do!
435
00:19:33,039 --> 00:19:34,649
- Oh, come on.
436
00:19:34,823 --> 00:19:36,129
- What's going on here?
- All right, just a minute!
437
00:19:36,303 --> 00:19:37,173
- Well, I wanna make the
face for the snowman.
438
00:19:37,347 --> 00:19:38,740
- And I say I should!
439
00:19:38,914 --> 00:19:40,437
- Oh, yeah, well, I once
won a prize for making
440
00:19:40,611 --> 00:19:42,439
the best snowman in
Bullfrog, North Dakota.
441
00:19:42,613 --> 00:19:44,659
- Bullfrog, North Dakota?
442
00:19:44,833 --> 00:19:46,617
- Well, actually,
Bullfrog's just a suburb.
443
00:19:46,791 --> 00:19:49,272
I mean, your big city's
Crab Apple Junction.
444
00:19:49,446 --> 00:19:52,058
- Oh, I think Sergeant Schultz
should be the one to decide.
445
00:19:52,232 --> 00:19:53,668
- Who, me?
446
00:19:53,842 --> 00:19:54,930
- Yes, it takes a man
who is sophisticated,
447
00:19:55,104 --> 00:19:56,105
who has been around,
448
00:19:56,279 --> 00:19:57,933
who has been to Paris,
449
00:19:58,107 --> 00:20:00,153
and seen the beautiful snowmen
in the Bois de Boulogne
450
00:20:00,327 --> 00:20:01,850
that only a Frenchman can make.
451
00:20:02,024 --> 00:20:03,591
- What do you mean
sophisticated?
452
00:20:03,765 --> 00:20:05,332
I bet he's never even been
to Crab Apple Junction!
453
00:20:05,506 --> 00:20:06,768
- Is that food or a city?
454
00:20:06,942 --> 00:20:07,943
- Wait, wait a minute!
455
00:20:08,117 --> 00:20:10,163
Wait a minute!!
456
00:20:10,337 --> 00:20:11,860
I have the solution.
457
00:20:12,687 --> 00:20:15,298
You, Carter, you
put in the eyes.
458
00:20:15,472 --> 00:20:18,214
You, LeBeau, you put in
the nose and the mouth.
459
00:20:18,388 --> 00:20:22,262
And you both can put
on the hat together.
460
00:20:22,436 --> 00:20:25,439
- King Solomon couldn't have
made a wiser decision, Schultz.
461
00:20:25,613 --> 00:20:27,745
You're a wonderful
person, wonderful.
462
00:20:39,279 --> 00:20:42,064
- Oh, Kinch, I wanted a-
- Ah, sir-
463
00:20:42,238 --> 00:20:44,849
- Newkirk, what's
going on here, Newkirk?
464
00:20:45,023 --> 00:20:46,460
Wait, what's going
on here, Newkirk?!
465
00:20:46,634 --> 00:20:48,114
- Schultz, what's
the problem now?
466
00:20:48,288 --> 00:20:49,811
- There, there, there
is some monkey business
467
00:20:49,985 --> 00:20:50,899
going on with this snowman!
468
00:20:51,073 --> 00:20:52,727
- You can't be serious.
469
00:20:52,901 --> 00:20:57,297
Ha, you
told Major Hochstetter
470
00:20:57,471 --> 00:21:00,256
that I see mirages.
471
00:21:00,430 --> 00:21:04,652
Let's see what he has to
say about this mirage!
472
00:21:07,133 --> 00:21:08,482
- Schultz see the escape?
473
00:21:08,656 --> 00:21:10,005
- I think he got a
glimpse of the captain.
474
00:21:10,179 --> 00:21:11,789
- We gotta move the snowman.
475
00:21:11,963 --> 00:21:12,834
- Where to?
476
00:21:20,885 --> 00:21:22,278
- I think this is about
the only spot in the camp
477
00:21:22,452 --> 00:21:23,323
we don't have a
tunnel underneath.
478
00:21:23,497 --> 00:21:24,889
Put it here.
479
00:21:25,063 --> 00:21:26,978
- Hilda, is the
commandant in his office?
480
00:21:27,153 --> 00:21:28,937
- He is very busy with
Major Hochstetter.
481
00:21:29,111 --> 00:21:30,982
- I have to see him right away.
482
00:21:31,157 --> 00:21:34,856
- Schultz, I wouldn't go
in there if I were you.
483
00:21:35,030 --> 00:21:37,163
You're halfway to
Stalingrad right now.
484
00:21:39,904 --> 00:21:41,602
- It was nice seeing you
again, Major Hochstetter,
485
00:21:41,776 --> 00:21:44,126
but I told you, you would
find nothing suspicious here.
486
00:21:44,300 --> 00:21:46,650
- Those fliers must
be in another area.
487
00:21:46,824 --> 00:21:48,870
I will not sleep
until I find them.
488
00:21:49,044 --> 00:21:50,872
- You will find them,
Major Hochstetter,
489
00:21:51,046 --> 00:21:52,743
if I know my Gestapo.
490
00:21:52,917 --> 00:21:55,877
- Herr Commandant, I would like
to report something urgent.
491
00:21:56,051 --> 00:21:57,444
- Not now, Schultz, please.
492
00:21:57,618 --> 00:21:58,619
- Herr Commandant, it
has something to do
493
00:21:58,793 --> 00:21:59,881
with the prisoners!
494
00:22:00,795 --> 00:22:02,100
- What?
495
00:22:02,275 --> 00:22:07,410
- I saw a man go
inside the snowman.
496
00:22:09,369 --> 00:22:11,762
- Schultz, is this another
one of your mirages?
497
00:22:11,936 --> 00:22:13,547
- No, Herr Commandant.
498
00:22:13,721 --> 00:22:17,246
I saw it with my own two eyes.
499
00:22:17,420 --> 00:22:19,030
- Have you been at
the schnapps again?
500
00:22:19,205 --> 00:22:20,467
- Just a minute, Klink.
501
00:22:20,641 --> 00:22:21,990
Let's have a look at this.
502
00:22:22,164 --> 00:22:23,165
- Jawohl, Herr
Major, I show you.
503
00:22:23,339 --> 00:22:24,732
Please, Herr Major, I show you.
504
00:22:27,822 --> 00:22:29,563
- You sure you got enough snow
over that opening, Carter?
505
00:22:29,737 --> 00:22:31,913
- They won't be able to
find it until spring.
506
00:22:34,698 --> 00:22:36,483
- Okay, they're coming.
507
00:22:36,657 --> 00:22:38,920
- Herr Major, right over here.
508
00:22:39,094 --> 00:22:40,443
Here, please.
509
00:22:40,617 --> 00:22:42,706
Right here, here.
- All right, Schultz.
510
00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:44,447
Now, where did the
man enter the snowman?
511
00:22:44,621 --> 00:22:46,449
- Major Hochstetter, I protest.
512
00:22:46,623 --> 00:22:48,625
This is our snowman.
513
00:22:48,799 --> 00:22:51,498
- Why are you so
concerned, Colonel Hogan?
514
00:22:51,672 --> 00:22:53,195
- Because we were
gonna challenge
515
00:22:53,369 --> 00:22:55,066
the guards and the Gestapo
to a snowman contest.
516
00:22:55,241 --> 00:22:56,981
The winner gets a
free trip to London.
517
00:22:57,155 --> 00:22:58,983
- Here, here, Herr
Major, right here!
518
00:23:01,812 --> 00:23:06,643
- Ah, there is an opening.
519
00:23:06,817 --> 00:23:09,429
- Colonel Hogan, I
demand an explanation!
520
00:23:09,603 --> 00:23:10,952
- This is the way
they make a snowman
521
00:23:11,126 --> 00:23:13,389
in Bullfrog, North Dakota.
522
00:23:16,174 --> 00:23:19,656
- Klink, I assure you,
I will find a tunnel.
523
00:23:19,830 --> 00:23:21,615
And, when I do, the
punishment will-
524
00:23:30,232 --> 00:23:31,799
- You know, Colonel,
525
00:23:31,973 --> 00:23:33,757
I think Major Hochstetter
wins the trip to London.
526
00:23:40,764 --> 00:23:41,809
- Come on, Schultz,
it's freezing!
527
00:23:41,983 --> 00:23:42,984
- Yeah, we're all here!
528
00:23:43,158 --> 00:23:44,551
- We may be one or two over.
529
00:23:44,725 --> 00:23:46,248
- Oh, let him take his time.
530
00:23:46,422 --> 00:23:48,468
Klink doesn't like the
cold any more than we do.
531
00:23:48,642 --> 00:23:52,341
Report, report!
532
00:23:52,515 --> 00:23:53,342
- You better report, Schultz.
533
00:23:53,516 --> 00:23:54,909
He's turning blue.
534
00:23:55,083 --> 00:23:56,911
- All present and accounted for.
535
00:23:57,085 --> 00:23:59,827
Dismissed!
536
00:24:00,001 --> 00:24:02,830
- Ah, Colonel, did the
Gestapo catch the bomber crew?
537
00:24:05,006 --> 00:24:06,877
- Colonel Hogan, I assure you
538
00:24:07,051 --> 00:24:08,836
Major Hochstetter
will find them.
539
00:24:09,010 --> 00:24:11,099
- Ha, he couldn't find
the Eiffel Tower in Paris!
540
00:24:11,273 --> 00:24:12,666
- He couldn't even
find his swastika!
541
00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:14,885
- The Krauts should
call in Scotland Yard.
542
00:24:15,059 --> 00:24:16,409
Yeah, if
they can find them.
543
00:24:16,583 --> 00:24:18,498
Colonel Hogan,
you've gone too far!
544
00:24:18,672 --> 00:24:20,761
Schultz, these men are
confined to the barracks,
545
00:24:20,935 --> 00:24:23,198
without privileges,
for at least one week!
546
00:24:23,372 --> 00:24:25,853
- Jawohl, Herr Commandant.
547
00:24:35,384 --> 00:24:39,040
- Sorry, Schultz, snowman
contest is over, nice try.
40033
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