Original subtitles

- I never had such bad cards.

- Let's try with five cards stud.

Everybody, ante a dollar.

- All right.

- Pot's light, are you in, Newkirk?

- No, I'm not in yet.

- Pass right.

Ten, eight, three, Jack and the big King for me.

How about that? I'm high.

I bet two dollars.

- You're high, all right Williams, you stink.

- What's your problem, pal?

- You're dealing from the bottom.

That's a problem, mate.

- Hey, let go.

- He's got a king on the table, right gentlemen?

Or is that king right at the bottom of this deck.

Ready when he wants to palm it.

Cheat.

- Salle vache!

- You twister.

- You're just ganging up on me 'cause I'm winning.

- Yeah, well I'm gonna sort you out.

- Come on Newkirk!

- Stop it Newkirk!

- Break it off!

Break it off!

- Stop it!

- Isn't there enough war for you guys?

- Newkirk caught him dealing off the bottom!

- He's a liar. - Knock it off, the game's over.

Take back the money you started with.

- Are you kidding? I won it, I keep it.

You can't order me to give back my money.

- Look, Williams, I've had it right up to here with you.

You've been thrown out every barracks in camp.

- Can I help it if I'm popular?

- I also know you've been stealing

our Red Cross packages and selling to the Krauts.

- Prove it sir.

- I will, at your court Marshall.

Game's over, take back the money and give him his.

Come on!

Come on, break it up will you?

Dance two, three, dance, two, three...

Get the lead out.

Make this a dancing war.

That's beautiful. - At ease!

- Oh, alright.

Now remember your partners, we will get to the tango next.

- Now I have seen everything.

Dancing lessons at midnight.

- Midnight, where has the time gone?

- It's true, Herr Kommandant,

whenever I go out to a dance,

I look at my watch, and all of a sudden

I realize that the time...

- Oh, shut up.

- Commandant, I bet you'd make a great dancer.

You have natural rhythm. I can tell the way you move.

- Shush, put this man on report for

severe disciplinary action.

My own personal attention.

- Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

- The next time Colonel Hogan that you give dancing lessons,

perhaps, you'd be kind enough to invite me, hm?

- Well, fine.

We'll have to get your partner. Volunteer?

- May I have the honor

of the next waltz, Monsieur Commandant?

- Put this man on report too.

- Traitor.

- I can't help it, I love to dance.

- Hey kid, can I talk to you a minute?

- Colonel, the Kraut Captain just went into Klink's office.

- All right, let's listen.

- A new fuel pump? - Yes sir.

The old one cannot be repaired.

I must go to Dusseldorf to have the new pump made.

- But that may take a week.

And you expect to leave that truck and that thing here?

- Colonel, I did not choose your camp.

My engine started going bad.

I needed a safe place.

- This is a safe place. I feel safe here, don't you?

- Oh it's safe all right. - The safest in the world.

- And the reason for our record is that

I permit no disruption of our routine.

- Yes sir.

- I'm afraid I cannot accommodate you, Captain.

Please take your truck and its cargo, some other place.

- I have orders.

- The only orders that I'm interested in,

are my own orders.

"All ranks in order to extend complete cooperation,

assistant without question, mm-hm,

failure, punishable execution by firing squad,

signed General Yodel for the Fuhrer."

Glad to have you with us, Captain.

- He may get a room with a bath. - Colonel.

You will undertake security arrangements

while I'm in Dusseldorf, yeah?

- Certainly, by all means.

And, uh, may one ask what one is guarding?

- It is the S-5, prototype of a new

88-millimeter recoilless field gun.

My mission is to deliver to one of

our ordinance factories in France.

We'll go into production at once.

But Colonel,

top secret.

- It was top secret.

LeBeau tell Kinch to get word to London.

Tell 'em everything we heard. - Aye, Colonel.

- They may want to try bombing that gun

while it's here on stationary.

- Bomb it in camp?

- We're here and stationary as well, you know.

- War entails a certain risk.

Didn't your draft board tell you guys anything?

- It's the only flashlight I've got.

- I'll buy it off you, okay?

- You don't have to buy it, I'll give it to you.

- Hey, you're all right kid, thanks.

- But you're making a mistake, boy.

- Oh, don't start that again.

I'm going outta here, tonight.

Right after bed check.

- Colonel Hogan gave the orders.

No escaping without permission.

Now I remember the day he said that I really...

- Who cares what Hogan says?

He knows the score.

And he's a pretty good guy.

- He's an officer.

- Well, we all have our faults.

- Are you gonna gimme the flashlight or...

I'll see you later kid.

- Okay.

- Negotiating to buy a pair of crooked dice?

- Colonel, he's gonna break outta here tonight.

- Williams has been threatening to break

out ever since he got here.

But he always chickens out.

- Yeah, well if he needs any help

I'll hold the Germans up with me bare hands.

- The eighth Air Force has a previous engagement,

figured, they want us to destroy the gun.

Set the Krauts back at least six months.

- Sir, may I suggest a good old-fashioned demolition pack

with a short time fuse?

- All right, get started. Make it a good one.

- Don't give us too many duds.

- Since when do one of my demolition packs ever conk out?

- Come on, we are touchy today, Carter.

- The mark of a true artist.

Picasso felt the same way about his work.

- Picasso, what did he ever blow up?

- Johann, a tourist.

Guten Abend, tourist.

Not bad.

Not bad at all.

I used to have a suit like this, but of course mine was made

out of much better material, not made out of a blanket.

Forward March!

Eins, zwei, drei!

- Food, maps, flashlight.

- He ordered it by mail from a catalog.

- Silence. - I can believe it.

This suit looks terrible.

- This is not a style show.

- You can say that again.

- The next thing I might say is to order you to

pack your things to go to the Russian front.

Williams, you chose a very bad time.

We are extremely security conscious these days

for certain reasons.

So I'm gonna have to make an example of you.

30 days in the cooler followed

by 30 days confinement in the barracks and no privileges.

- What?

- It's pretty stiff punishment, Commandant.

- Wearing civilian clothes carrying maps.

I could have him shot as a spy without a trial.

- He's right, Williams.

- Who side are you on Hogan?

- The same side as you, unfortunately.

- Ah, little trouble in the family.

- Sir, I wanna talk for myself.

I don't need Colonel Hogan's help.

- Hogan, dismissed.

- I'm senior P.O.W. Officer here.

And if you're gonna interrogate him...

- I said dismissed.

Schultz, take Hogan back to the barracks at once.

- Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

But if he won't go.

- If he won't go, you might say pretty please.

Out!

- I'm warning you. - I said out!

- If he wants to join your side, you're welcome to him.

- Pretty please.

- All right.

Talk.

- I got information.

I want a deal.

- You are hardly in a position to...

- It's military colonel and it concerns you.

But I gotta have my price, revoke my sentence.

Transfer me outta here to Berlin or any other

place where I can live till the war is over and

enough money to get away.

- Is that all?

How about a nice villa

at the Riviera with dancing girls and champagne foot baths?

- What I got is worth it to you.

- But you have no assurance

that I won't take all that information

and have you shot anyway.

- I'm not worried.

You'll know why when you hear what I gotta say.

- Well he is selling us out, sir, and at bargain prices too.

- Did he say anything yet?

- Not yet, but he knows most of the operation.

We used him on one assignment.

- Carter, you're friendly with Williams.

- Well, yes sir. In a way, but I resent that.

- We've gotta keep tabs on him.

See if you can get the job delivering his meals

in the cooler.

- Couple of candy bars for Schultz

will take care of that. - All right.

- You think he'd really blew a whistle on us,

or is he stalling?

- I don't know but if he does,

we may never get a chance at that gun out there.

We may never get a chance at anything again.

- That's correct.

General Burkhalter, military information.

But he wants his freedom in return and money.

Yes, yes.

Find out if the information is valuable.

String him along.

Oh, that's an excellent idea, General Burkhalter.

Excellent, what?

Oh yes sir. I can handle it.

After all, I'm a colonel.

What?

We might win the war anyway.

That's terribly amusing, General.

Thank you for your advice.

Heil Hitler.

- Powell wouldn't do a thing like that.

- Oh yeah?

Well I say he tipped off the Krauts and he let me

take this rap.

- Well you are wrong.

He did everything he could out there.

Schultz was there. What do you think?

- Potatoes need salt.

- Next time I go out of this dump, it's gonna be right

through the main gate with money in my pocket.

- The beans need salt, too.

- I got a deal cooking with the Kraut.

They don't shoot you the minute you step outta camp.

Yeah, well I'll take my chances.

- Come on. You can't trust those guys.

No offense, Schultz.

- I would rather shoot the cook.

Hey.

Schultz!

- Achtung!

- Nice little kaffeeklatsch, huh?

- No, Herr Kommandant. I think it is tea.

Kommandant, I was testing the prisoner's food to be sure.

It is not dangerous.

It is fine.

- Very good, Sergeant.

You out.

- Yes sir.

- We might do a little business

if you can convince me that your information is reliable.

- Little sample, Colonel.

- You might put it that way, yes.

It's all right.

- Okay.

Remember about four weeks ago the railroad

bridge at Heindorf blew up.

- Remember, the explosion threw me outta bed.

- Shut up.

The Gestapo was investigating.

They suspect sabotage.

- Oh yeah. Well good luck to them.

It was done with a delayed fuse bomb on the north side.

Does that ring a bell?

- Yes, what else do you know about it?

- No more free samples, Colonel.

You know my terms.

- The Heindorf railroad bridge? - Yep.

He's using it to bake clink. - That's one of the jobs

he worked on with us, Colonel.

- Let me take his food in Tomorrow, sir.

He'll have a nice lunch and after which be a lovely funeral.

- Ours, are his?

Clink would nail us just like that.

Carter tell Kinch to get in touch with the underground

and we'll talk to one of their boys tonight.

His code name is Felix. - Right.

LeBeau I want you to meet him

and guide him in through the emergency tunnel.

- Right on it. - Well, what's your plan, sir?

- Well, we've gotta stop Williams,

but use him as a diversion so we can knock out that gun.

- With all due respect, sir, you are dreaming.

- If you've got a better dream, I want to hear it.

- So far so good.

- Here you are, Felix, slip into this.

- All right.

- I think you'll find it's a perfect fit.

- Hey, marvelous. - Yeah, look at this.

Could've been made by a Savile Row tailor.

- Feels comfortable, you know?

- Yeah, fine.

All right.

These are your orders.

Major Weber.

- Oh, signed by General Burkhalter.

- Otherwise known as Sergeant Kinchloe.

- Now you got the plan straight?

- I think so, Colonel.

- Now let's talk about a girl.

- Yeah, any girl, let's talk, and talk and talk.

- There is a girl named Maria Schmidt.

She's worked with us before.

Very cool. Not afraid of danger.

- Just your type. - Fine.

She'll be your assistant, the secretary.

She'll handle the paperwork. - I understand.

- Remember when the jobs over get outta camp fast.

- But leave Fraulein Schmidt.

- Corporal, he has been away from home too long.

- Yes. You don't have to worry about the Germans stopping you.

He's your biggest danger.

- Heil Hitler, who is this?

Gestapo!

Heil Hitler, good evening.

- Talking to General Burkehalter

about the prisoner who offered you some information.

- Oh, yes sir.

I've interrogated the prisoner again just

as the General ordered.

- Excellent, now the Gestapo wants you to come

to Berlin at once for a conference with

General Burkehalter,

your must coordinator activities in this case.

- I'm not sure with my duties here...

- What duties?

Ah, you Luftwaffe officers.

A 10 year old boy could handle your job.

- Well, sir, I'm afraid there's not one available.

- Gestapo will send a Luftwaffe officer, Major Weber,

who will take over a command while you are away.

He will be accompanied by his secretary Fraulein Schmidt.

Be with you in one moment, mein Fuhrer.

Yes, mein Fuhrer?

I made it a collect call.

Klink, are you still with us?

- Sir, I certainly am.

I shall leave for Berlin the moment Major Weber arrives here.

- Can hardly wait.

That's all.

- Thank you sir.

Now I should go back to my efficiency report.

- Yes, you may resume sleeping.

Heil Hitler, coming mein Fuhrer!

- All right. One down, one to go.

- Burkhalter now, sir? - Same story.

Tell 'em that the Gestapo wants 'em to confer with Klink

about the case. And the Klink arrived shortly

and the Gestapo supply Klinks replacement.

- All right, sir. You know these long distance calls

run into quite a bit of money.

- Well, don't worry, it's after six o'clock.

- Now this is a highly secret weapon on its way to France.

Temporarily my responsibility

which must have maximum security guard at all time.

- I understand sir.

Make a note of that Fraulein Schmidt.

- And there is a prisoner in the cooler.

He must be watched very carefully, Williams.

- I will see to it Herr Kommandant.

- Oh, this is Colonel Hogans senior P.O.W. Officer.

Major Weber will be temporarily in charge during my absence.

Now you obey his orders and there will be no trouble.

- I expect full cooperation.

- Right, I feel I already know the major.

- This is Schultz, Sergeant of the guards.

- Sergeant! I expect to rely on him very heavily.

- Well, he's here anyway.

- Auf Wiedersehen!

- Have a nice trip.

And don't take any wooden swastikas.

- Now we can relax.

- Achtung!

Eyes front, at attention!

- Sergeant, you will bring the prisoner Williams

to the Kommandant's office, at once.

Jawohl, Herr Major!

Everybody wants to be a big shot.

He's mean.

But that Fraulein Schmidt ooh...

- Come on Schultz, don't you start.

- Berlin has decided to meet your terms, Williams.

- Everything?

Free pass outta here?

Place to live, money?

- Everything.

You'll dictate the information you have, every detail.

To Fraulein Schmidt.

- Okay, I'm ready.

That's it.

Now you live up to your end of the bargain.

- Don't worry.

- Herr Major! You wanted Colonel Holden?

- Yes, take this man

back to the cooler and return immediately.

- Jawohl, Herr Major!

- So long Hogan. I'll see you in church.

- Wouldn't do you any harm wise guy.

- He's a traitor.

Oh, I hate that man.

- You've got company.

- Here is the information he dictated to Maria.

- Oh brother.

Names, dates, the works.

- Yeah.

And this is the fake information.

- You signed it along

with the rest of the papers without realizing.

- Thanks, you've done a great job.

- Herr Major, the prisoner has been returned

to the cooler and I am here.

- Sergeant, I must return to Berlin at once.

You will give this to Colonel Klink.

The moment he returns to Stalag 13.

It is of the utmost importance. Understood?

- Jawohl, Herr Major!

- Until the Colonel returns.

You will be in charge of this office.

- Me? In charge?

- It's correct.

I have informed Colonel Hogan.

- I'd ask for more money, Schultz.

- Silence!

Take over, Sergeant.

Fraulein, we must be on our way.

- You're in the boss' chair real quick.

How's it feel big shot?

- Stand at attention when you talk to the man in charge.

- Yes sir. - That's better.

Dismissed!

Colonel Hogan, I didn't mean it.

- Oh, Herr Kommandant!

- What's going on here?

- Oh Herr Kommandant.

Major Weber was recalled to Berlin

and he left me in charge of the office.

- You?

What's the Third Reich coming to?

I'm ordered to a conference in Berlin

with General Berkhalter.

The Gestapo doesn't show up.

We sit and talk about things we already know.

- Oh, Herr Kommandant.

Major Weber left you this very important.

- Signed by Williams.

It's the information.

"Small-arms factory in Hammelburg will be attacked by

saboteurs on the 17th."

That's tonight Schultz, look alive!

I want every available man assembled, combat equipment.

We move out in 15 minutes.

- Jawohl, Herr Kommandant!

But how about the track and the gun

and the guards for the prisoner Williams, please

in the cooler.

- I said every available man.

Now I am putting you in charge

of communications here,

until this operation is over, out!

- Jawohl, Herr Kommandant!

- Get every man in that truck!

Go, let's go, everybody in!

- There they go. The gun is not guarded, Colonel.

- All right, Newkirk, LeBeau, you handle the cooler.

Remember, do it fast and clean and we need Williams jacket.

Carter, you set the charges

five minutes after the cooler blows.

- You got it, boy, uh, sir.

- Williams, wake up!

Colonel Hogan wants to see you.

- What is this?

Stand back ya bloody mug. Unless you want to get killed.

Not that I care.

- Welcome home friend. - Hogan, gimme a break.

- You'll get what you deserve.

A plane to fly outta here as soon as the heat dies down.

They're gonna try you in England.

And you'd better pray that none

of those judges have ever been P.O.W.'s.

Put him in the tunnel. - Right.

Here's his jacket.

- Is his name in it? - Yes sir.

- All right, good.

- All set, Colonel.

Standby.

Five, four, three, two, one.

I said one.

- Oh first the cooler, now this!

- Terrible.

- While I am in charge.

- You gotta hand it to you.

- What?

- Things certainly happen when you're around.

- Two years' work completely destroyed.

- A catastrophe.

You can expect a full investigation

from the Gestapo.

- Colonel, look what I found.

- Williams?

- Fairly obvious what happened.

Blew open his cell, set the charges on the gun

but didn't make it away in time.

- And sent me on a wild goose chase

to the small arms factory.

- I don't believe it.

- Neither do I. I never will.

- Where were the guards when all this happened?

- That's right. Where were they?

- Well, you see...

- That is the first question that Gestapo will ask you.

- You know, Hogan, I think your theory

about Williams is beginning to make sense to me.

- You know Colonel, I had a feeling that it would.