Original subtitles

- Colonel.

- Colonel Hogan, message from London.

Just in.

- Now. It's so late.

- Sounds like an emergency.

Kinch has it in code.

- It's getting to be a busy war.

- Relay job, Colonel.

From a plane, then to London, then to us.

- Forward pass, almost intercepted.

Need new play your team. 0200 hours.

Load of sugar candy, usual signals.

Good luck coach.

That's a parachute drop from a courier plane.

- Probably couldn't use its first drop point.

- Alright, look, we'll move in an hour.

Sugar candy is code for something special.

- Maybe they'll drop us some USO girls.

- Could also mean heavy equipment.

- After two years here, who cares what they look like?

All right, let's go.

- Two flashes blue.

Two white.

Two more blue.

All right Newkirk, give them the answer.

They read us.

Let's go.

Let's make it fast.

The Krauts might have seen this come down.

- And if they find it, they find us.

- There they are.

That's the sugar candy

- Bullet proof vests.

- Heavy.

- It's a good thing they didn't send along

two pair of pants with 'em.

- Is six all right?

Pairs is each box.

- Too heavy to carry back, we'll have to bury 'em here.

We'll take one with us.

Come here LeBeau.

Oh, be careful.

It is the first time I saw a vest wearing a man.

- Come on, come on.

- No, of course you pigs would not.

- What's going on here?

My name Lieutenant Maurice Dubois.

Air Force of France.

I've come to surrender.

I'm afraid you're a little late my friend.

- Surrender? He is also nuts.

- Bring him to my office and search him for weapons.

Open the gate.

This does not concern you.

Go about your business.

- Don't you know it's not polite

to talk a language nobody else understands.

- We understand it.

- Oh, that's different.

- What did he say Lebeau?

- You will not believe it, Colonel

when I tell you will simply not believe it, that's all

- I will if I get a chance, now, come on give.

- He has come to pick up

the bulletproof vests that were dropped to us.

- Alone?

- You don't see General Dugal

coming through the gate do you?

- He's balmy giving himself up.

- How do we know he's for real?

- We don't.

Kinch get on the radio, have London, check him out

while I see what plan's Klink has for him.

- Right.

- Lieutenant Maurice Dubois, Air Force of France.

An organization that no longer exists.

Well my plane was hit on a reconnaissance mission,

two days before we surrender.

I bail out over Brussels

and then I crossed the border into Germany.

- Now you enter Germany, why?

- Maybe he likes the Weiner Schnitzel.

Hogan!

- Now, Dubois, you've been hiding for a long time.

Why are you surrendering now?

- Well, to tell you the truth, Colonel,

I am tired of running.

- All right, your papers will go

to Gestapo headquarters in Berlin,

and until we hear from them, you will be our guest.

- Ask for a quiet room.

Some of them are noisy tunnels being dug.

- Schultz, Take him to the cooler.

- Why The cooler?

- Regulations until the case have been investigated.

- Let him live in one of the barracks,

I'll be responsible for him.

You. That's laughable.

- Schultz.

- You said it was laughable, so I thought it was an order.

- Put him in the cooler.

- Answer from London, Colonel.

- Oh, thanks Kinch.

Well Dubois on the level.

Two years in the French resistance.

- Two years

- Two years, still alive eh?

He's no mug

- Our order is to give him all the assistance possible.

- How? He's in solitary.

- Yeah, well the first thing

is to keep the Gestapo out of this.

Who's cleaning Klinks office this week?

- I am.

- All right, Klink's report to the Gestapo

should be ready tomorrow.

See if you can head it off.

- Yes sir.

Kinch, I want you to type out a pass to the cooler

so I can talk to Dubois.

- Okay. Oh, who signs it?

- Newkirk will forge Klink's signature.

- Why is it every time there's a bit of forgery required

or anything semi criminal,

I'm the guy. Why?

- No special reason Newkirk.

It's a disease.

- Oh Danke Sergeant, it's so nice of you to help me.

- Oh well I always say if people can't help each other

in war time, when can they?

- It's true.

- I always say that.

I really do.

- The plane was to drop these new type

bulletproof vests on a field just outside Brussels.

- And the Krauts got wise.

- No, but they increased their patrol activity so much

that it became dangerous.

We radioed London but the plane had already taken off.

The cargo had to be dropped somewhere.

- So we were elected.

- You have them here, Colonel?

- We got 'em buried in the woods,

they'll be safe for a while.

Dubois, you took a big gamble.

- In two weeks. The Gestapo plans to execute

several of our countrymen in retaliation for our resistance.

We know where they're being held and we intend to save them.

These bulletproof vests will give our men a fighting chance.

- You gave yourself up.

- There was no other way.

I had to make sure the vests were here.

So I got into my old uniform and here I am.

- Yeah, you sure are. In jail.

- Colonel Hogan,

I have been told that

you are a very clever officer with ideas.

Now, how are we going to get this armor

away from here and into France?

- Funny you should ask.

- Are you have a plan?

- No. I was just about to ask you the same question.

- Klink's report to the Gestapo.

- You devil.

Nice work.

- At least the Gestapo won't get Dubois for a little while.

- Yeah. We still have two problems.

Getting Dubois out of the cooler,

and starting those vests on their way to France.

- Oh, couldn't he ask Klink again, Colonel?

- No, he needs a good reason to let Dubois out.

What do we need most Stalag 13?

And nobody say girls.

- Eliminate girls,

you're gonna cut down the field quite a bit sir.

- Okay, you guys, the faucet is fixed.

But use it carefully cause I got some more work to do on it.

Right

My son the plumber.

- Hey, that's one thing we haven't got

in the old stalag, Colonel,

a graduate plumber.

- What happened to the Kraut who was doing that work?

- Schneider? He transferred out.

- I've been doing it in all the barracks

for the last few weeks.

- How much do you know about it?

- I was a plumber's helper one summer

when I went to school in Detroit.

- The Krauts know you've been doing this?

- No, I don't think so.

- If you can fix plumbing, you can also break it, right?

- That I can do.

- Gentlemen, did you know that besides being a pilot,

Lieutenant Maurice Dubois is also a plumber.

- He told you, Colonel?

- Couldn't, doesn't know it himself yet.

- Wait a minute.

- May I ask what you are doing?

- You mean you don't know?

Tell him Lebeau.

- Practice makes perfect.

- Schultz!

- It is incredible.

The most efficient POW camp in all of Germany,

and we have no plumber

- Herr Kommandant, Corporal Schneider was our plumber.

- Was?

- Before he was sent to the Russian front.

- Well, what idiot sent him to the Russian front?

- Don't tell me what idiot.

I shall call division headquarters,

I will have his transfer revoked,

and we will get him back here.

- If they can dig him up, I mean if they can find him.

- Come in, come in, come in.

- Glad I caught you in Kommandant.

I wanna register a complaint.

- Hogan, I'm not interested in your complaints.

I've got problems of my own.

- Okay.

- Wait, Hogan, wait.

Are any of your men plumbers?

- Plumbers? No sir.

We have a tech sergeant who's a dentist.

- I want my faucet fixed, not my teeth.

- Sorry sir, I guess I can't help you.

There is a man who might be able to do the job.

- Who? Who?

- No, no, he's not available.

He's in the cooler, regulations.

- The Frenchman?

- Yeah, before the war

he was one of the best plumbers in Paris.

- Him?

- He told Lebeau.

- Yes, Herr Kommandant, I heard them speak in French.

- But how can a plumber become an Air Force officer?

- Connections.

- I just wanna know what you did in civilian life.

- Well, I, I did many things.

- What was your work?

- What the commandant means is were you always a plumber?

- Oh, that, but of course.

That was all I ever did, like my father before me.

- You see, plumbing even ran in his family.

- I want you to fix a faucet.

Oh, sorry sir.

I would consider that collaborating with the enemy.

- What?

- Dubois, I'm senior POW office here,

and I appreciate your feelings,

but I'm prepared to look the other way.

- Well, bring me the faucet.

I'll see what I can do.

I'd have to bring you the whole building.

- You'll have to release him.

- I suppose, I have no other choice.

But you are on parole and if you break it,

all the men will suffer.

- Oui Colonel, that is understood.

- Why must I always be at the mercy of all these details.

- What are you complaining about?

You haven't gotten his bill yet.

- These are Corporal Schneider's tools.

Take care of them.

I promised his widow,

- I'm going to need someone to assist me, Colonel.

- Kinch.

- Yes sir.

- Help the lieutenant.

- Colonel, I don't know anything about plumbing.

- Doesn't matter.

He knows it all, just carry his tools.

- Right sir.

- All right, get on with it.

- What is this madness?

- Just play along with Hogan, he's got a plan.

- But plumbing!

I was a real estate salesman

in Fontainebleau before the war.

- That's close enough.

This'll prove that plenty of work is needed.

- But Sergeant, what am I going to say to them?

- I'll tell you what to say, don't worry.

Here.

See that man.

- Sounds like Dubois is doing a good job.

- The moment the Frenchman is finished,

he goes back to the cooler.

- Good.

Aha! Aha!

There they are, all finished, eh?

Excellent.

Schultz, he goes back in the cooler.

- That was just the inspection over Colonel.

Look at this, everything rusted.

The pressure valve is going to blow any minute.

Then you are going to have water everywhere.

- You remember the Johnstown flood?

- How long would it take to finish?

- Well, that's impossible to say.

I'm going to need a pipe threader,

a forge, welding tools,

- Herr Kommandant,

he could use Corporal Schneider's workshop.

- Alright, but I want this job done quickly.

I'd be better off at the Russian front.

- Herr Kommandant, While you are there,

could you look for Corporal Schneider?

- Shut up!

Dismissed.

- Hi Schultzi.

- Hi Schulz.

- Hello Schultzi.

- Hi Schulz.

- We brought the jackets in last night.

- Oh Beautiful.

These are going to give us a fighting chance on our mission.

- Hey, watch Lebeau!

Going to go through the floor.

Maybe it would've been better that way, help me.

- All right, Carter, you leave your jacket on,

and stand over against the wall.

- Look Colonel, I know this is important, but,

- We're only going through the motions

of taking a shot at you,

now don't get all worked up.

- It's not going to be dangerous, Sergeant.

- Right, I mean, old Schultz would stop us anyway, right?

- If he doesn't, the jacket will the bullet.

- If the bullet goes through the jacket?

- We'll be happy to refund your money.

- Thanks a lot sir, that makes me feel a lot better.

Lebeau, go get Schultz.

- Right sir.

- I didn't even get a chance to volunteer for this.

- Oh, pipe down.

- You won't feel a thing.

- Schultzi, Colonel Hogan wants to see you.

- Yeah.

What do you want?

- Hi Schultz, we're conducting an experiment.

Let me borrow your rifle.

- My rifle?

- Thank you.

- But wait a minute.

- I mean I didn't even get a chance to volunteer.

- What's going on here?

- Are you nuts or something you could kill him?

Don't you know there's a war on?

- He won't get hurt, he's wearing a bulletproof vest.

- Lieutenant Dubois invented it in his spare time.

- Monkey business.

- I told you he'd tell Klink.

- That's right.

You all stay here, don't you move.

- So far, Dubois, we're batting a thousand,

you know what to do.

- Oui Colonel, I have it all in mind.

- I mean, if I'd have been asked to volunteer,

I might have said yes, but I wasn't even asked to volunteer.

- Good shot, Colonel.

- I'm proud to say the bullet is not penetrated.

It has been stopped.

- Amazing!

- Told you he is a genius.

- With plumbing and a bulletproof vest.

Is this what you've been doing, instead of fixing my sink?

- In his spare time, sir.

- In war, there is no spare time, Hogan.

Now I'm going to give you one more day

to repair my pipes and then you go back to the cooler.

- Colonel, may I talk to you alone.

- Permission denied, I've told you what to do.

- But it's very important, Colonel.

- Dubois, what are you trying to pull?

- I'm only interested in plumbing.

You know prisoners are supposed to get permission

to talk to the Kommandant and that's an order.

- Just a minute.

I give the orders in Stalag 13.

Schultz, get them out of here.

- I'll make a formal protest.

- Get them outta here.

- Dubois, if you sell out, you're gonna be in trouble.

You hear me? Big trouble.

- What did he mean by sellout?

- He's very clever, Colonel.

He knows the value of a bulletproof vest like this one.

- Oh, that's nothing, Luftwaffe pilots

have worn these flag vests from the beginning.

- Well, not the same.

The metal has been specially treated.

My own invention.

I will give them to you,

and all of these I have made.

- I see.

So you're going to sell out, eh?

What's the price?

- My freedom.

I want to join Petain in Vichy.

- I don't have to bargain with you.

I can take that vest.

- But not the formula for treating the metal.

- That is up here.

- We have ways of gaining information.

- Ah, Colonel wouldn't it be wiser

to turn this over to Berlin

and get credit for something important?

It could only help an officer's career.

- That's an interesting idea.

- Not that my career needs any help.

- No, of course not, Colonel.

- I'll see what can be arranged.

- Merci, Colonel.

Merci.

- Yes, General Burkhalter.

I've been working on this little invention of mine

and now I feel it is ready for your inspection.

What's that, Sir?

Oh, well, sir, I've always been a very creative person.

Yes sir, I've created confusion too.

Well it happens to the best of us.

You are coming here.

Oh, that's wonderful, sir.

I shall expect you then.

Heil Hitler.

- Remarkable.

The fabric is torn

but the metal underneath is barely dented.

- I told you I will deliver as promised, Herr General.

- Yes. Apparently the day of miracles is not over.

You said a special treatment of the metal?

What is that treatment?

- The formula for the treatment

is locked up in here, General.

- Is that so?

- He'll give it to us sir.

- When I'm allowed to the border into Vichy.

- He's a sellout artist.

Don't trust him.

- Silence! - Disgrace to the uniform.

- I want my freedom.

- You shall have it

if you live up to you are part of the bargain.

- I knew our little invention would be a hit.

- That would be very useful for assault troops

or special operations.

- That's exactly what I was thinking, Herr General.

- Yes. I knew you would be, the moment I mentioned it.

How many of these have you made?

- A dozen, sir.

- I want them sent to Berlin as soon as possible.

- I shall be happy to deliver them personally, Sir.

- My aid, Captain Franz, will come for them.

Lieutenant Dubois,

you will accompany him to Berlin.

- But Herr General,

- A demonstration who will be arranged

for the Fuhrer himself.

- I should love to show the Fuhrer how that vest works.

- That is very kind of you Klink.

Thank you Herr General.

- Except you won't be there.

- No.

Why not, Herr General?

- Why should you demonstrate my invention?

They're loading the car now, Colonel.

- Okay, Kinch, let's move out.

Mind in the store, huh?

- Right. Good luck.

This is Checkpoint Fritz.

May I see your papers please?

- I have a pass from General Burkhalter,

permitting travel anywhere.

- That is just what I need.

Get out.

- Take off the uniform.

- Nein.

- Or would you rather I shoot it off?

- Schnell.

- All right, Newkirk, Carter, take him back to camp.

The underground will pick him up tomorrow night.

- All right, sir.

- Colonel, I will never forget you.

- I'll never forget you, lieutenant.

Unless I need a plumber,

in that case you'll be the first I'll forget.

- Aha. Captain Franz, Lieutenant Dubois,

the bulletproof vests, all missing.

What do you know about this Hogan?

It's BurkeHalter's way of keeping you out of it.

He wants to take credit himself.

- I see.

He wants to make it look as if I know nothing about it.

- Exactly Kommandant, you know nothing.

- Still that Dubois, he's a slippery type.

I didn't trust him.

- Fixed your sink, didn't he?

- I haven't tried it yet.

Schultz, check the faucet.

- There you are, Kommandant.

- Fixed the sink, huh?

You and your lieutenant Dubois.

- What do we do now?

- Well, if I were you, I wouldn't pay his bill.