Original subtitles

- Schultz, everything ready?

- Yes, Herr Kommandant, as you ordered.

- Good.

- Herr Kommandant, shall I put the prisoners

into the barracks?

- No, leave them alone.

I want them to see who is arriving, especially Hogan.

- Ooh, I understand.

- No, you don't, but that's nothing new.

- Blood and guts drags out the welcome mat,

it's gotta be something.

- And he's smiling.

- And when he's smiling, he's happy.

When is he happy?

- When he's being a sneak.

Correct.

- That's an RAF officer.

A group captain at least.

- Now, why are they taking him to special quarters?

- Yes, there' something going on.

- Who is he?

Don't worry, Colonel, we'll find out for you.

I tell you what, we'll work day and night.

We'll find out.

- All right, all right, hold it, hold it.

Appreciate your spirit, but don't waste your time,

I already know who it is.

It's Group Captain James Roberts.

An important RAF officer, and a good friend of mine.

Now let's find out why he's getting the VIP treatment.

To a successful mission.

- And to the elimination of the number one enemy

of the Third Reich, Winston Churchill.

And Himmler will settle for nothing less

than perfection itself.

- Of course, Major.

Now, if I were in his place, I would-

- Fortunately for Germany, you are not.

Is everything crystal clear?

- Major, it cannot fail because it is simplicity itself.

- Exactly.

I knew you would understand anything simple, Klink.

Oh, thank you, sir.

Now I believe that it would be best-

- Colonel Klink, Colonel Hogan has requested to see you.

- Oh, please, let him come in.

- Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

- Our fish is nibbling at the bait.

My fish.

- Colonel Klink.

- Yes, Hogan, what is it, what is it?

- You have a new prisoner, Group Captain James Roberts, RAF,

I wanna see him.

- He wants to see the prisoner.

- That's not surprising.

That's not surprising.

- Of course, now that I've made the request,

I'm sure you'll deny it.

- He said we'll deny it. - We will?

- We will?

- As senior officer here, I'm entitled to talk to

any new prisoner brought into this stalag, and you know it.

If I'm not allowed to see him, it'll be in direct violation

of the Geneva Prisoner of War Convention,

and I'll make a formal complaint to the Red Cross

and their protecting power.

- Very well, you may see the prisoner.

- You may see the prisoner.

- And believe me, when word gets back to the big boys

on our side, you'll see what happens to Ger...

What'd you say?

- I said you may see the prisoner anytime you like.

- There you are, Hogan, your request has been granted.

- You guys oughta give me a little notice

when you're gonna do something decent.

Really?

- Yeah, I faint very easily.

- I went along on a recon mission over the French coast

to have a look at their fortifications.

And that's when they got you?

- Right.

Two Messerschmitt's came up, had a proper go at us,

blasted our port engine.

Had to bail out.

And I hadn't a prayer on the ground,

they nabbed me straight away.

- How long were you at Stalag 9?

- Oh, roughly two months, I'd say.

But they behaved decently enough for Jerrys,

but still, jolly strenuous.

- Interrogation? - Days of it. Weeks, in fact.

They never gave me a moment of privacy,

they took pictures of me,

recorded my voice, rather questionably.

- Recorded your voice why?

- I haven't the foggiest, old boy,

but you know the way the Krauts are,

sticklers for detail, never miss a trick.

- Yeah, I know.

- Hogan, what are you doing?

- Oh, nothing, just stretching.

- Well, uh, how are you getting on

here in Stalag 13?

- Oh, deliriously happy.

- I must say, it's rather a gummy looking place.

- I did ask for a POW camp on the French Riviera,

but they couldn't get me a reservation.

It seems they were all full up for the season.

- All full up for the season?

That's jolly good.

- Our little plan seems to be going well.

Our little plan?

- Ah, the Gestapo is most efficient, I always say.

- Thank you, Klink. Now be quiet.

- Well, Robbie, I guess I'll be going along.

- Well, awfully decent of you to stop by.

- Try to stop by again tomorrow if the Krauts let me.

- Jolly good. - So long.

Krauts are up to something big,

and I think it may involve you.

What did they question you about at Stalag 9?

- Everything.

They know I'm on Air Marshal Titters' staff,

RAF liaison with the War Council,

That I attend briefings they give to Sir Winston.

- That's very convenient.

They fell all over themselves

giving me permission to see you.

And alone. Again, why?

- Well, that's anybody's guess.

- Time to stop guessing and find out.

Robbie, I can't believe he'd have anything to do

with killing Churchill.

- He said it himself, he can get near Churchill.

The Krauts are treating him very nicely.

I think he sold out.

- Him? Collaborate with a Nazi?

That man over there is British.

- Not Robbie.

- I'm sorry, Colonel, we've got to consider it.

- Even if he was involved, why transfer him to Stalag 13?

Krauts had him on ice at Stalag 9.

- Colonel, colonel, there's something going on

in Klink's office.

I had the bug tuned in and I heard him talking.

Sounds important.

- And so far, every detail of our plan

has worked beautifully.

- Yes, beautifully.

- Major, I've been through a good deal

in the last few months without being told anything.

- Hey, they got Roberts in there.

- Oui, and he's making noises like one of them.

- Now, I should like to know. Exactly what is my mission?

- You have been chosen to kill the greatest enemy

the Germans have in this war.

Winston Churchill.

- Voila, the sellout.

- No, he won't do it.

- Right, sir, not one of our lads.

- Major,

I am honored.

That bleedin' traitor.

- Hold it.

- Oh, I too am honored.

I mean, I'm honored to be part of this.

- Group Captain Roberts has the highest security clearance.

He is frequently near Churchill when the

British War Council meets.

On one of those occasions, you will shoot him.

- And please don't miss him.

I mean, the Major

has gone to a lot of trouble to set this up.

It has been very expensive.

- You will be flown from here to the Belgian Coast.

There you will take a small boat across the channel.

The final leg of your miraculous escape from the Germans.

- I understand, sir.

- And when does the major leave?

- Not when, but how is most important.

For purposes of your cover story,

you will ask Colonel Hogan to help you escape from here.

The Kommandant will make sure you are not caught in the act.

- Very ingenious.

- Major Hochstetter, there has never been

a successful escape from Stalag 13.

Now you're destroying

a brilliant record

- We can destroy Stalag 13's record here,

or your own brilliant record will come to an end

on the Russian front,

about 10 minutes after you arrive there.

Your choice.

- I think you will have a marvelous escape. Good luck.

- All right, Klink. Bring in our guest.

Fraulein Hilda, send in our guest.

- In heaven's name.

- Group Captain Roberts, Wergner Baumann.

- Group Captain.

- He could be my twin.

- Anyway, he is. - He is.

- Double.

- Those twisters.

- They can't do that. It's illegal.

- Fantastic.

- They do wonders with plastic surgery.

I have this friend in Dusseldorf,

a Mrs. Schwink, charming woman,

slight sag around the chin, well, you know how it is.

She found this surgeon at the Halsberger,

now he advised her to-

- Not now, Klink.

- This is monstrous.

- Wergner looked a great deal like you to start,

but the surgeons have done a remarkable job, no?

- The pictures. That's why you took those pictures of me.

- Yes, indeed, Group Captain.

From the beginning it's been rather a lark.

Jolly good fun, actually.

- He's even imitated my voice.

Of course, the recordings.

- Colonel, how'd they get the double in the camp

without us seeing him?

- That's what I'd like to know.

- They could have sneaked him in any night.

- We're supposed to know

everything that goes on around here.

That's what I thought.

- Okay, I am satisfied.

- So am I.

I'm glad.

- I don't think we need detain Group Captain Roberts

any longer, Colonel.

- Oh, of course not, Major.

We should move you to slightly less comfortable quarters,

but much more shall I say, colorful.

- Whatever it is you're planning,

you won't get away with it, I promise you that.

- Guard!

- Carter, outside, see where they take him.

Back on the double.

- Right, Colonel.

- Now, there remains one important test.

The real reason you were brought here.

Today you will move into Captain Robert's quarters.

Then you will ask to see your friend, Colonel Hogan.

- And he must believe that I am Roberts.

- Exactly.

- They were very good friends when Hogan

was assigned to the RAF.

If you can deceive him, you are ready for your mission.

- And I think he can do it, Major.

- There is one final detail.

This was developed

by the Gestapo section eight.

It is carried strapped to the forearm, so.

Under the tunic, of course. And fired by muscular action.

- With that he certainly can't miss.

- When he shakes hands with Churchill, he fires the gun.

- There's a shot that'll be heard 'round the world.

- Colonel, can't we stop it?

I mean that's Winnie they're talkin' about blastin'.

- Well, if you notified London.

- Sure, then they'll grab the assassin

before he can do any harm.

- That's it Kinch, warm up the tubes a bit.

- Yeah, but it won't save Roberts.

The Krauts can't afford to have

two Captain Roberts running around.

- So they'll kill the real one, huh?

- Five minutes after the phony takes off.

- Can't we spring Roberts? - How?

- We haven't got a chance.

- That's about all we do have is one chance.

- They put Roberts in the cooler, sir.

- Still have a branch tunnel leading in there?

- Yes, it connects with the emergency tunnel.

- Well, let's get him out tonight.

- We can't move Roberts until

we're sure we have his double stopped.

- No problem there, sir, you just give me one of our guns,

and I'll put a nice little hole right between his eyes.

That might not stop him, but it'd slow him down a bit.

- Great, great.

And then the Gestapo stops us with a firing squad.

- Sir, we just can't let him have a shot at ol' Winnie.

I'm with you, Newkirk.

- I mean, the war wouldn't be the same without him.

Yeah, you did it.

Come on, Colonel, it's your turn,

Let's go. Let's go.

All right, very nice.

- We checked the tunnel into the cooler.

- First class conditions, sir.

No cave-ins anywhere. Use it anytime you want.

- Good.

- Hey, you know, maybe after the war,

we oughta get a job digging tunnels.

- Yeah, we could go from jail to jail

and charge by the foot.

- Use the money to pay your psychiatrist.

- I don't need a psychiatrist.

- Yes, it may be a little late at that.

- Colonel! - Yeah, Schultz.

- Captain Roberts wants to see you.

- All right, did you check in with Klink first?

- Yeah, Kammandant Klink says you can have

10 minutes with the prisoner.

- 10 minutes? Aw, come on, Schultz.

Hardly long enough to eat a chocolate bar.

20 minutes?

Eat slowly.

Hey, Schultz!

- Come on, put one up. - Come on, Schultzie!

Come on, Schultzie, come on.

- Escape? - Right.

- I have idea what the Jerrys have in mind for me,

I'd rather take my chances.

- This is not just an ordinary stalag,

there's never been a successful escape.

- Oh, perhaps I can reverse the trend.

- A perfect no escape record.

Now if all the stalags in Germany could-

- Klink, you're blowing up like a Pouter pigeon.

Listen.

- It takes weeks to dig a tunnel for you.

- No, no, that's out of the question.

I want to do this rather the simple, direct way.

- Robbie, you're dealing with

the toughest Kammandant in Germany.

Behind that stupid expression, there's a monster.

- I didn't have a chance to tell

you when you were last here.

Managed to bring a pair of wire cutters from Stalag 9.

- You just go out and cut the wire and get away?

- Exactly.

The Huns won't expect anything so bold and simple.

- Just might work if we ensured it with a diversion.

- Jolly good idea, a diversion would help.

- I'll have one of my boys start something

at the other end of camp,

should draw the Krauts away from you.

- Excellent, that'll give me a fighting chance.

Look, shall we lay it on for tonight?

- Good, 9:00. It's when they change the guard.

They're a little disorganized.

- Righto.

Well, how can I ever thank you, Hogan?

- When you get to England, give my regards to Churchill.

- Churchhill?

Oh yes, of course, old Winnie. I'll do that.

- Perfect, it's going like clockwork.

- We must have a car waiting

to take Baumann to the airfield.

- I'll arrange that, you can depend on me, Major.

- I will arrange it, I'd rather depend on me.

- Well now that you mention it, so would I.

- All right, stick to the schedule, and it should work.

- What if anything goes wrong?

- Don't be afraid to use them.

- Car's wailing on the road, sir.

- German efficiency.

- And two goons in the front seat.

- All right, Kinch, Newkirk move out.

- Right, sir. - Right, sir.

- Why do I miss all the action?

- Stop complaining, this whole operation depends on you.

You all set?

- Sure, I cook while everybody else fights a war.

- I'll see that De Gaulle gives you an oak leaf cluster

and a crepe Suzette, now move it.

- Sir, I want you to meet your replacement, Claude.

Time to go up, sir. The bus is waiting.

- Oh, jolly good.

- There you go.

- I think he's gaining weight, sir.

- All set?

- Uh-huh.

- We'll go through the window.

- Here they are.

Moving towards the wire.

- Have the guards been alerted?

- The men guarding the wire have been told

to look the other way.

- Sergeant Schultz is watching the Englander in the cooler.

I have taken care of everything.

- Excellent, Klink.

- Speak in English, you fool,

I'm Group Captain James Roberts, RAF.

- Yes, sir.

- Right, let's get on with it.

- Ooh!

- Potato pancakes, I made some extra.

It is

- Let me get a few to the captain.

- It's against order, nobody goes in there.

- Oh, come on, Schultzie.

- You're not supposed to be out of the barracks!

You're not supposed to be here,

you're not supposed to go in there.

- Okay, you win.

Wait a minute.

Don't be so hasty.

- Come on, hurry it up, Robbie.

- You said there'd be a diversion. When?

- Don't worry, cut, cut.

- Captain?

Captain, one of the prisoners has a surprise for you.

Hello, Captain.

Captain?

That's not Captain Roberts.

- He must have sneaked out. I bet he's trying to escape.

Ooh, we're in trouble.

Where would he go?

- Try the wire near the main gate.

Right.

How did you know?

- If I was going to escape, that's where I would go.

Okay.

Keep the pancakes warm.

- A-ha! Halt!

I caught you in time.

- Don't shoot, comrade!

- Put your hands up, they got us.

- So, Captain Roberts, huh?

- Lieutenant Baumann, special mission.

- Lieutenant Baumann?

- Don't listen to him, Schultz,

English officers are very clever,

he's trying to confuse you.

Give up, Robbie, you're going to get us shot.

- I demand to see Major Hochstetter.

- Put him back into the cooler.

If he tries anything, shoot him.

I'll report you to the Kommandant. Come on!

- Want me to come along, Schultz?

- Yes, it would be very nice,

especially when you where trying to help him to escape.

March!

- Ja? Ja? How, how long?

Excellent, excellent, good work. Ja, Heil Hitler.

The airfield reports that Baumann, alias Roberts took off

for Belgium five minutes ago.

- Oh, marvelous news, Major. Congratulations to both of us.

- Both of us?

- Well, I'd like to feel I had a small part in it.

- Yeah, very small.

- In your report to the Gestapo, could you possibly-

Herr Kommandant!

- Not now, Schultz. - Could you possibly-

- Herr Kommandant!

I am reporting that I captured the prisoner

who was trying to escape.

- That's true.

- Obviously the diversion.

- Yes, of course, the diversion.

- I'd like to make a confession.

Sergeant Schultz gets full credit.

- All right, Hogan, some other time.

In your report, Major, please mention my name.

- If I do something wrong, no good.

If I do something right, it's no good, either.

- Don't worry, Schultz, I'll see that you get

full credit for the capture.

- Ah, you're nice, Colonel Hogan.

You might be my enemy, but sometimes you're also my friend.

- Look at it this way, Schultz.

You've got me as a friend, you don't really need an enemy.

Thank you.

Anytime, Schultz, anytime.

- Ah, Major, here is your prisoner.

So, Sergeant Schultz, you caught Group Captain Roberts, huh?

- Good work, Sergeant.

- I am not Group Captain Roberts.

I am Lieutenant Baumann.

He keeps saying that.

- If you are Lieutenant Baumann, then speak German.

What was your mission?

Winston Churchill

- Oh, this can't be!

But I just had the report that the Englishman

then crossed the Channel early this morning

protected by the Luftwaffe.

Klink, I will mention you in my report!

But I don't understand, I...

- You're a very clever adversary, Colonel Hogan.

My congratulation.

Thanks.

- Hogan! - Well, don't blame me,

I didn't know his arm was loaded.