All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes S03E05 Funny Thing Happened on the Way to London_prob4.eng

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:51,731 --> 00:00:53,081 - Schultz, everything ready? 2 00:00:53,255 --> 00:00:54,169 - Yes, Herr Kommandant, as you ordered. 3 00:00:54,343 --> 00:00:55,605 - Good. 4 00:00:55,779 --> 00:00:57,389 - Herr Kommandant, shall I put the prisoners 5 00:00:57,563 --> 00:00:58,390 into the barracks? 6 00:00:58,564 --> 00:01:00,218 - No, leave them alone. 7 00:01:00,392 --> 00:01:02,438 I want them to see who is arriving, especially Hogan. 8 00:01:02,612 --> 00:01:03,961 - Ooh, I understand. 9 00:01:04,135 --> 00:01:06,181 - No, you don't, but that's nothing new. 10 00:01:07,399 --> 00:01:08,792 - Blood and guts drags out the welcome mat, 11 00:01:08,966 --> 00:01:10,228 it's gotta be something. 12 00:01:10,402 --> 00:01:11,664 - And he's smiling. 13 00:01:11,839 --> 00:01:12,709 - And when he's smiling, he's happy. 14 00:01:12,883 --> 00:01:13,753 When is he happy? 15 00:01:13,928 --> 00:01:15,059 - When he's being a sneak. 16 00:01:15,233 --> 00:01:17,453 Correct. 17 00:01:30,770 --> 00:01:32,163 - That's an RAF officer. 18 00:01:32,337 --> 00:01:33,773 A group captain at least. 19 00:01:37,473 --> 00:01:38,909 - Now, why are they taking him to special quarters? 20 00:01:39,083 --> 00:01:40,171 - Yes, there' something going on. 21 00:01:40,345 --> 00:01:41,912 - Who is he? 22 00:01:42,086 --> 00:01:42,826 Don't worry, Colonel, we'll find out for you. 23 00:01:45,220 --> 00:01:46,743 I tell you what, we'll work day and night. 24 00:01:46,917 --> 00:01:47,875 We'll find out. 25 00:01:49,702 --> 00:01:51,617 - All right, all right, hold it, hold it. 26 00:01:52,096 --> 00:01:54,011 Appreciate your spirit, but don't waste your time, 27 00:01:54,185 --> 00:01:55,621 I already know who it is. 28 00:01:55,795 --> 00:01:57,580 It's Group Captain James Roberts. 29 00:01:57,754 --> 00:02:00,800 An important RAF officer, and a good friend of mine. 30 00:02:00,975 --> 00:02:03,151 Now let's find out why he's getting the VIP treatment. 31 00:02:03,325 --> 00:02:06,545 To a successful mission. 32 00:02:06,719 --> 00:02:09,548 - And to the elimination of the number one enemy 33 00:02:09,722 --> 00:02:12,421 of the Third Reich, Winston Churchill. 34 00:02:29,046 --> 00:02:31,266 And Himmler will settle for nothing less 35 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:32,876 than perfection itself. 36 00:02:33,050 --> 00:02:34,356 - Of course, Major. 37 00:02:34,530 --> 00:02:36,184 Now, if I were in his place, I would- 38 00:02:36,358 --> 00:02:39,665 - Fortunately for Germany, you are not. 39 00:02:39,839 --> 00:02:41,754 Is everything crystal clear? 40 00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:45,019 - Major, it cannot fail because it is simplicity itself. 41 00:02:45,193 --> 00:02:46,803 - Exactly. 42 00:02:46,977 --> 00:02:48,761 I knew you would understand anything simple, Klink. 43 00:02:48,936 --> 00:02:50,154 Oh, thank you, sir. 44 00:02:50,328 --> 00:02:52,026 Now I believe that it would be best- 45 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:53,897 - Colonel Klink, Colonel Hogan has requested to see you. 46 00:02:54,071 --> 00:02:55,812 - Oh, please, let him come in. 47 00:02:55,986 --> 00:02:57,248 - Jawohl, Herr Kommandant. 48 00:02:57,422 --> 00:02:58,641 - Our fish is nibbling at the bait. 49 00:02:58,815 --> 00:02:59,729 My fish. 50 00:02:59,903 --> 00:03:01,165 - Colonel Klink. 51 00:03:01,339 --> 00:03:02,950 - Yes, Hogan, what is it, what is it? 52 00:03:03,124 --> 00:03:04,473 - You have a new prisoner, Group Captain James Roberts, RAF, 53 00:03:04,647 --> 00:03:05,648 I wanna see him. 54 00:03:05,822 --> 00:03:06,910 - He wants to see the prisoner. 55 00:03:07,084 --> 00:03:08,346 - That's not surprising. 56 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:09,957 That's not surprising. 57 00:03:10,131 --> 00:03:10,827 - Of course, now that I've made the request, 58 00:03:11,001 --> 00:03:12,307 I'm sure you'll deny it. 59 00:03:12,481 --> 00:03:15,353 - He said we'll deny it. - We will? 60 00:03:15,527 --> 00:03:17,094 - We will? 61 00:03:17,268 --> 00:03:19,140 - As senior officer here, I'm entitled to talk to 62 00:03:19,314 --> 00:03:22,099 any new prisoner brought into this stalag, and you know it. 63 00:03:22,273 --> 00:03:25,015 If I'm not allowed to see him, it'll be in direct violation 64 00:03:25,189 --> 00:03:26,843 of the Geneva Prisoner of War Convention, 65 00:03:27,017 --> 00:03:28,801 and I'll make a formal complaint to the Red Cross 66 00:03:28,976 --> 00:03:30,238 and their protecting power. 67 00:03:30,412 --> 00:03:31,326 - Very well, you may see the prisoner. 68 00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:33,154 - You may see the prisoner. 69 00:03:33,328 --> 00:03:34,764 - And believe me, when word gets back to the big boys 70 00:03:34,938 --> 00:03:35,983 on our side, you'll see what happens to Ger... 71 00:03:40,030 --> 00:03:41,553 What'd you say? 72 00:03:41,727 --> 00:03:43,381 - I said you may see the prisoner anytime you like. 73 00:03:43,555 --> 00:03:45,557 - There you are, Hogan, your request has been granted. 74 00:03:50,954 --> 00:03:52,260 - You guys oughta give me a little notice 75 00:03:52,434 --> 00:03:53,522 when you're gonna do something decent. 76 00:03:53,696 --> 00:03:54,610 Really? 77 00:03:54,784 --> 00:03:56,960 - Yeah, I faint very easily. 78 00:04:01,312 --> 00:04:03,488 - I went along on a recon mission over the French coast 79 00:04:03,662 --> 00:04:05,186 to have a look at their fortifications. 80 00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:06,665 And that's when they got you? 81 00:04:07,536 --> 00:04:08,406 - Right. 82 00:04:09,712 --> 00:04:12,193 Two Messerschmitt's came up, had a proper go at us, 83 00:04:12,367 --> 00:04:13,542 blasted our port engine. 84 00:04:14,717 --> 00:04:15,979 Had to bail out. 85 00:04:16,153 --> 00:04:17,937 And I hadn't a prayer on the ground, 86 00:04:18,112 --> 00:04:19,896 they nabbed me straight away. 87 00:04:20,070 --> 00:04:21,419 - How long were you at Stalag 9? 88 00:04:21,593 --> 00:04:23,552 - Oh, roughly two months, I'd say. 89 00:04:23,726 --> 00:04:26,076 But they behaved decently enough for Jerrys, 90 00:04:26,250 --> 00:04:27,991 but still, jolly strenuous. 91 00:04:28,165 --> 00:04:30,776 - Interrogation? - Days of it. Weeks, in fact. 92 00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:33,040 They never gave me a moment of privacy, 93 00:04:33,214 --> 00:04:35,303 they took pictures of me, 94 00:04:35,477 --> 00:04:37,131 recorded my voice, rather questionably. 95 00:04:37,305 --> 00:04:38,697 - Recorded your voice why? 96 00:04:38,871 --> 00:04:40,743 - I haven't the foggiest, old boy, 97 00:04:40,917 --> 00:04:42,353 but you know the way the Krauts are, 98 00:04:42,527 --> 00:04:44,355 sticklers for detail, never miss a trick. 99 00:04:44,529 --> 00:04:45,574 - Yeah, I know. 100 00:04:51,580 --> 00:04:52,581 - Hogan, what are you doing? 101 00:04:52,755 --> 00:04:55,105 - Oh, nothing, just stretching. 102 00:04:58,282 --> 00:05:01,198 - Well, uh, how are you getting on 103 00:05:01,372 --> 00:05:02,765 here in Stalag 13? 104 00:05:02,939 --> 00:05:04,897 - Oh, deliriously happy. 105 00:05:08,510 --> 00:05:10,773 - I must say, it's rather a gummy looking place. 106 00:05:11,339 --> 00:05:13,863 - I did ask for a POW camp on the French Riviera, 107 00:05:14,037 --> 00:05:15,473 but they couldn't get me a reservation. 108 00:05:16,692 --> 00:05:19,651 It seems they were all full up for the season. 109 00:05:20,957 --> 00:05:22,480 - All full up for the season? 110 00:05:22,654 --> 00:05:24,047 That's jolly good. 111 00:05:34,013 --> 00:05:36,015 - Our little plan seems to be going well. 112 00:05:37,104 --> 00:05:38,714 Our little plan? 113 00:05:38,888 --> 00:05:40,890 - Ah, the Gestapo is most efficient, I always say. 114 00:05:41,064 --> 00:05:42,892 - Thank you, Klink. Now be quiet. 115 00:05:45,024 --> 00:05:47,549 - Well, Robbie, I guess I'll be going along. 116 00:05:49,116 --> 00:05:51,466 - Well, awfully decent of you to stop by. 117 00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:53,294 - Try to stop by again tomorrow if the Krauts let me. 118 00:05:53,468 --> 00:05:54,643 - Jolly good. - So long. 119 00:06:04,522 --> 00:06:05,523 Krauts are up to something big, 120 00:06:05,697 --> 00:06:07,177 and I think it may involve you. 121 00:06:07,351 --> 00:06:08,744 What did they question you about at Stalag 9? 122 00:06:08,918 --> 00:06:10,398 - Everything. 123 00:06:10,572 --> 00:06:11,616 They know I'm on Air Marshal Titters' staff, 124 00:06:11,790 --> 00:06:13,531 RAF liaison with the War Council, 125 00:06:13,705 --> 00:06:16,621 That I attend briefings they give to Sir Winston. 126 00:06:16,795 --> 00:06:18,623 - That's very convenient. 127 00:06:18,797 --> 00:06:19,972 They fell all over themselves 128 00:06:20,147 --> 00:06:22,018 giving me permission to see you. 129 00:06:22,192 --> 00:06:23,976 And alone. Again, why? 130 00:06:24,151 --> 00:06:25,456 - Well, that's anybody's guess. 131 00:06:25,630 --> 00:06:27,589 - Time to stop guessing and find out. 132 00:06:34,770 --> 00:06:36,467 Robbie, I can't believe he'd have anything to do 133 00:06:36,641 --> 00:06:37,990 with killing Churchill. 134 00:06:38,165 --> 00:06:39,992 - He said it himself, he can get near Churchill. 135 00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:41,864 The Krauts are treating him very nicely. 136 00:06:42,038 --> 00:06:43,213 I think he sold out. 137 00:06:43,387 --> 00:06:45,868 - Him? Collaborate with a Nazi? 138 00:06:46,042 --> 00:06:47,609 That man over there is British. 139 00:06:47,783 --> 00:06:49,306 - Not Robbie. 140 00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:51,308 - I'm sorry, Colonel, we've got to consider it. 141 00:06:51,482 --> 00:06:54,877 - Even if he was involved, why transfer him to Stalag 13? 142 00:06:55,051 --> 00:06:56,966 Krauts had him on ice at Stalag 9. 143 00:06:57,140 --> 00:06:59,751 - Colonel, colonel, there's something going on 144 00:06:59,925 --> 00:07:01,231 in Klink's office. 145 00:07:01,405 --> 00:07:02,798 I had the bug tuned in and I heard him talking. 146 00:07:02,972 --> 00:07:03,886 Sounds important. 147 00:07:05,670 --> 00:07:08,891 - And so far, every detail of our plan 148 00:07:09,065 --> 00:07:11,285 has worked beautifully. 149 00:07:11,459 --> 00:07:12,851 - Yes, beautifully. 150 00:07:13,025 --> 00:07:14,592 - Major, I've been through a good deal 151 00:07:14,766 --> 00:07:16,464 in the last few months without being told anything. 152 00:07:16,638 --> 00:07:18,030 - Hey, they got Roberts in there. 153 00:07:18,205 --> 00:07:19,989 - Oui, and he's making noises like one of them. 154 00:07:20,163 --> 00:07:22,992 - Now, I should like to know. Exactly what is my mission? 155 00:07:24,515 --> 00:07:27,562 - You have been chosen to kill the greatest enemy 156 00:07:27,736 --> 00:07:30,565 the Germans have in this war. 157 00:07:30,739 --> 00:07:32,828 Winston Churchill. 158 00:07:33,002 --> 00:07:34,264 - Voila, the sellout. 159 00:07:34,438 --> 00:07:35,657 - No, he won't do it. 160 00:07:35,831 --> 00:07:37,049 - Right, sir, not one of our lads. 161 00:07:37,224 --> 00:07:38,094 - Major, 162 00:07:39,487 --> 00:07:40,749 I am honored. 163 00:07:40,923 --> 00:07:42,881 That bleedin' traitor. 164 00:07:43,055 --> 00:07:43,926 - Hold it. 165 00:07:44,100 --> 00:07:45,536 - Oh, I too am honored. 166 00:07:45,710 --> 00:07:47,364 I mean, I'm honored to be part of this. 167 00:07:48,583 --> 00:07:52,239 - Group Captain Roberts has the highest security clearance. 168 00:07:52,413 --> 00:07:54,110 He is frequently near Churchill when the 169 00:07:54,284 --> 00:07:56,634 British War Council meets. 170 00:07:56,808 --> 00:08:01,291 On one of those occasions, you will shoot him. 171 00:08:01,465 --> 00:08:03,250 - And please don't miss him. 172 00:08:03,424 --> 00:08:04,816 I mean, the Major 173 00:08:04,990 --> 00:08:06,035 has gone to a lot of trouble to set this up. 174 00:08:06,209 --> 00:08:07,732 It has been very expensive. 175 00:08:09,125 --> 00:08:11,649 - You will be flown from here to the Belgian Coast. 176 00:08:11,823 --> 00:08:14,391 There you will take a small boat across the channel. 177 00:08:14,565 --> 00:08:19,353 The final leg of your miraculous escape from the Germans. 178 00:08:19,527 --> 00:08:20,658 - I understand, sir. 179 00:08:20,832 --> 00:08:22,225 - And when does the major leave? 180 00:08:22,399 --> 00:08:25,446 - Not when, but how is most important. 181 00:08:25,620 --> 00:08:27,665 For purposes of your cover story, 182 00:08:27,839 --> 00:08:30,929 you will ask Colonel Hogan to help you escape from here. 183 00:08:31,103 --> 00:08:34,368 The Kommandant will make sure you are not caught in the act. 184 00:08:34,542 --> 00:08:35,847 - Very ingenious. 185 00:08:36,892 --> 00:08:38,720 - Major Hochstetter, there has never been 186 00:08:38,894 --> 00:08:40,417 a successful escape from Stalag 13. 187 00:08:40,591 --> 00:08:41,766 Now you're destroying 188 00:08:41,940 --> 00:08:44,029 a brilliant record 189 00:08:44,203 --> 00:08:47,555 - We can destroy Stalag 13's record here, 190 00:08:48,599 --> 00:08:51,515 or your own brilliant record will come to an end 191 00:08:51,689 --> 00:08:53,125 on the Russian front, 192 00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:56,128 about 10 minutes after you arrive there. 193 00:08:57,521 --> 00:09:01,090 Your choice. 194 00:09:02,265 --> 00:09:05,529 - I think you will have a marvelous escape. Good luck. 195 00:09:05,703 --> 00:09:09,316 - All right, Klink. Bring in our guest. 196 00:09:12,014 --> 00:09:14,059 Fraulein Hilda, send in our guest. 197 00:09:25,288 --> 00:09:26,637 - In heaven's name. 198 00:09:28,639 --> 00:09:31,512 - Group Captain Roberts, Wergner Baumann. 199 00:09:31,686 --> 00:09:32,469 - Group Captain. 200 00:09:33,383 --> 00:09:34,602 - He could be my twin. 201 00:09:36,125 --> 00:09:39,998 - Anyway, he is. - He is. 202 00:09:40,172 --> 00:09:41,173 - Double. 203 00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:42,784 - Those twisters. 204 00:09:44,394 --> 00:09:46,918 - They can't do that. It's illegal. 205 00:09:54,448 --> 00:09:55,884 - Fantastic. 206 00:09:56,058 --> 00:09:58,234 - They do wonders with plastic surgery. 207 00:09:58,408 --> 00:10:00,105 I have this friend in Dusseldorf, 208 00:10:00,279 --> 00:10:01,977 a Mrs. Schwink, charming woman, 209 00:10:02,151 --> 00:10:04,109 slight sag around the chin, well, you know how it is. 210 00:10:04,283 --> 00:10:06,416 She found this surgeon at the Halsberger, 211 00:10:06,590 --> 00:10:08,070 now he advised her to- 212 00:10:08,244 --> 00:10:10,072 - Not now, Klink. 213 00:10:10,246 --> 00:10:11,856 - This is monstrous. 214 00:10:12,030 --> 00:10:14,119 - Wergner looked a great deal like you to start, 215 00:10:14,293 --> 00:10:17,384 but the surgeons have done a remarkable job, no? 216 00:10:20,778 --> 00:10:23,433 - The pictures. That's why you took those pictures of me. 217 00:10:23,607 --> 00:10:25,522 - Yes, indeed, Group Captain. 218 00:10:25,696 --> 00:10:27,785 From the beginning it's been rather a lark. 219 00:10:29,091 --> 00:10:31,485 Jolly good fun, actually. 220 00:10:31,659 --> 00:10:33,400 - He's even imitated my voice. 221 00:10:34,705 --> 00:10:36,533 Of course, the recordings. 222 00:10:36,707 --> 00:10:37,839 - Colonel, how'd they get the double in the camp 223 00:10:38,013 --> 00:10:39,014 without us seeing him? 224 00:10:39,188 --> 00:10:40,624 - That's what I'd like to know. 225 00:10:40,798 --> 00:10:41,799 - They could have sneaked him in any night. 226 00:10:41,973 --> 00:10:43,235 - We're supposed to know 227 00:10:43,410 --> 00:10:44,628 everything that goes on around here. 228 00:10:44,802 --> 00:10:45,673 That's what I thought. 229 00:10:45,847 --> 00:10:48,763 - Okay, I am satisfied. 230 00:10:48,937 --> 00:10:50,112 - So am I. 231 00:10:50,286 --> 00:10:52,375 I'm glad. 232 00:10:52,549 --> 00:10:54,812 - I don't think we need detain Group Captain Roberts 233 00:10:54,986 --> 00:10:56,597 any longer, Colonel. 234 00:10:56,771 --> 00:10:58,555 - Oh, of course not, Major. 235 00:10:58,729 --> 00:11:00,383 We should move you to slightly less comfortable quarters, 236 00:11:00,557 --> 00:11:03,908 but much more shall I say, colorful. 237 00:11:04,082 --> 00:11:06,041 - Whatever it is you're planning, 238 00:11:06,215 --> 00:11:08,260 you won't get away with it, I promise you that. 239 00:11:08,435 --> 00:11:09,523 - Guard! 240 00:11:12,482 --> 00:11:13,527 - Carter, outside, see where they take him. 241 00:11:13,701 --> 00:11:14,528 Back on the double. 242 00:11:14,702 --> 00:11:16,138 - Right, Colonel. 243 00:11:16,312 --> 00:11:19,576 - Now, there remains one important test. 244 00:11:19,750 --> 00:11:22,361 The real reason you were brought here. 245 00:11:22,536 --> 00:11:25,277 Today you will move into Captain Robert's quarters. 246 00:11:25,452 --> 00:11:29,586 Then you will ask to see your friend, Colonel Hogan. 247 00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:31,588 - And he must believe that I am Roberts. 248 00:11:31,762 --> 00:11:33,198 - Exactly. 249 00:11:33,372 --> 00:11:34,722 - They were very good friends when Hogan 250 00:11:34,896 --> 00:11:37,376 was assigned to the RAF. 251 00:11:37,551 --> 00:11:39,640 If you can deceive him, you are ready for your mission. 252 00:11:39,814 --> 00:11:42,294 - And I think he can do it, Major. 253 00:11:45,036 --> 00:11:46,734 - There is one final detail. 254 00:11:49,388 --> 00:11:51,652 This was developed 255 00:11:51,826 --> 00:11:54,089 by the Gestapo section eight. 256 00:11:55,612 --> 00:11:59,398 It is carried strapped to the forearm, so. 257 00:11:59,573 --> 00:12:03,881 Under the tunic, of course. And fired by muscular action. 258 00:12:06,144 --> 00:12:08,233 - With that he certainly can't miss. 259 00:12:08,407 --> 00:12:11,280 - When he shakes hands with Churchill, he fires the gun. 260 00:12:11,454 --> 00:12:13,543 - There's a shot that'll be heard 'round the world. 261 00:12:13,717 --> 00:12:15,719 - Colonel, can't we stop it? 262 00:12:15,893 --> 00:12:18,330 I mean that's Winnie they're talkin' about blastin'. 263 00:12:18,505 --> 00:12:20,158 - Well, if you notified London. 264 00:12:20,332 --> 00:12:21,333 - Sure, then they'll grab the assassin 265 00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:22,900 before he can do any harm. 266 00:12:23,074 --> 00:12:24,293 - That's it Kinch, warm up the tubes a bit. 267 00:12:24,467 --> 00:12:26,164 - Yeah, but it won't save Roberts. 268 00:12:26,338 --> 00:12:27,688 The Krauts can't afford to have 269 00:12:27,862 --> 00:12:29,254 two Captain Roberts running around. 270 00:12:29,428 --> 00:12:30,778 - So they'll kill the real one, huh? 271 00:12:30,952 --> 00:12:32,301 - Five minutes after the phony takes off. 272 00:12:32,475 --> 00:12:34,346 - Can't we spring Roberts? - How? 273 00:12:34,521 --> 00:12:35,913 - We haven't got a chance. 274 00:12:36,087 --> 00:12:37,132 - That's about all we do have is one chance. 275 00:12:38,786 --> 00:12:39,351 - They put Roberts in the cooler, sir. 276 00:12:41,005 --> 00:12:42,485 - Still have a branch tunnel leading in there? 277 00:12:42,659 --> 00:12:43,834 - Yes, it connects with the emergency tunnel. 278 00:12:44,008 --> 00:12:45,053 - Well, let's get him out tonight. 279 00:12:45,227 --> 00:12:46,620 - We can't move Roberts until 280 00:12:46,794 --> 00:12:48,491 we're sure we have his double stopped. 281 00:12:48,665 --> 00:12:50,537 - No problem there, sir, you just give me one of our guns, 282 00:12:50,711 --> 00:12:53,061 and I'll put a nice little hole right between his eyes. 283 00:12:53,235 --> 00:12:55,324 That might not stop him, but it'd slow him down a bit. 284 00:12:55,498 --> 00:12:57,674 - Great, great. 285 00:12:57,848 --> 00:13:00,024 And then the Gestapo stops us with a firing squad. 286 00:13:01,635 --> 00:13:04,072 - Sir, we just can't let him have a shot at ol' Winnie. 287 00:13:04,246 --> 00:13:05,813 I'm with you, Newkirk. 288 00:13:06,988 --> 00:13:09,730 - I mean, the war wouldn't be the same without him. 289 00:13:12,994 --> 00:13:15,257 Yeah, you did it. 290 00:13:15,431 --> 00:13:17,041 Come on, Colonel, it's your turn, 291 00:13:17,215 --> 00:13:19,174 Let's go. Let's go. 292 00:13:20,784 --> 00:13:22,090 All right, very nice. 293 00:13:22,264 --> 00:13:23,265 - We checked the tunnel into the cooler. 294 00:13:23,439 --> 00:13:24,832 - First class conditions, sir. 295 00:13:25,006 --> 00:13:26,660 No cave-ins anywhere. Use it anytime you want. 296 00:13:26,834 --> 00:13:28,096 - Good. 297 00:13:28,270 --> 00:13:29,532 - Hey, you know, maybe after the war, 298 00:13:29,706 --> 00:13:30,968 we oughta get a job digging tunnels. 299 00:13:31,142 --> 00:13:32,579 - Yeah, we could go from jail to jail 300 00:13:32,753 --> 00:13:34,058 and charge by the foot. 301 00:13:34,232 --> 00:13:35,712 - Use the money to pay your psychiatrist. 302 00:13:35,886 --> 00:13:37,192 - I don't need a psychiatrist. 303 00:13:37,366 --> 00:13:39,150 - Yes, it may be a little late at that. 304 00:13:40,456 --> 00:13:42,850 - Colonel! - Yeah, Schultz. 305 00:13:43,024 --> 00:13:45,026 - Captain Roberts wants to see you. 306 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:46,593 - All right, did you check in with Klink first? 307 00:13:46,767 --> 00:13:48,203 - Yeah, Kammandant Klink says you can have 308 00:13:48,377 --> 00:13:49,857 10 minutes with the prisoner. 309 00:13:50,031 --> 00:13:52,990 - 10 minutes? Aw, come on, Schultz. 310 00:13:53,164 --> 00:13:56,124 Hardly long enough to eat a chocolate bar. 311 00:13:56,298 --> 00:13:57,865 20 minutes? 312 00:13:58,039 --> 00:14:01,825 Eat slowly. 313 00:14:01,999 --> 00:14:03,174 Hey, Schultz! 314 00:14:04,306 --> 00:14:08,266 - Come on, put one up. - Come on, Schultzie! 315 00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:10,704 Come on, Schultzie, come on. 316 00:14:14,882 --> 00:14:16,448 - Escape? - Right. 317 00:14:16,623 --> 00:14:19,408 - I have idea what the Jerrys have in mind for me, 318 00:14:19,582 --> 00:14:21,149 I'd rather take my chances. 319 00:14:21,323 --> 00:14:22,933 - This is not just an ordinary stalag, 320 00:14:23,107 --> 00:14:24,979 there's never been a successful escape. 321 00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:28,547 - Oh, perhaps I can reverse the trend. 322 00:14:28,722 --> 00:14:30,767 - A perfect no escape record. 323 00:14:30,941 --> 00:14:32,813 Now if all the stalags in Germany could- 324 00:14:32,987 --> 00:14:35,467 - Klink, you're blowing up like a Pouter pigeon. 325 00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:37,078 Listen. 326 00:14:37,252 --> 00:14:38,906 - It takes weeks to dig a tunnel for you. 327 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:40,516 - No, no, that's out of the question. 328 00:14:40,690 --> 00:14:43,171 I want to do this rather the simple, direct way. 329 00:14:43,345 --> 00:14:44,651 - Robbie, you're dealing with 330 00:14:44,825 --> 00:14:46,391 the toughest Kammandant in Germany. 331 00:14:46,565 --> 00:14:48,480 Behind that stupid expression, there's a monster. 332 00:14:50,265 --> 00:14:51,266 - I didn't have a chance to tell 333 00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:52,571 you when you were last here. 334 00:14:56,053 --> 00:14:58,403 Managed to bring a pair of wire cutters from Stalag 9. 335 00:14:58,577 --> 00:14:59,840 - You just go out and cut the wire and get away? 336 00:15:00,014 --> 00:15:01,580 - Exactly. 337 00:15:01,755 --> 00:15:04,279 The Huns won't expect anything so bold and simple. 338 00:15:05,323 --> 00:15:07,935 - Just might work if we ensured it with a diversion. 339 00:15:08,109 --> 00:15:10,111 - Jolly good idea, a diversion would help. 340 00:15:11,286 --> 00:15:12,591 - I'll have one of my boys start something 341 00:15:12,766 --> 00:15:14,158 at the other end of camp, 342 00:15:14,332 --> 00:15:15,856 should draw the Krauts away from you. 343 00:15:16,030 --> 00:15:17,553 - Excellent, that'll give me a fighting chance. 344 00:15:17,727 --> 00:15:19,207 Look, shall we lay it on for tonight? 345 00:15:19,381 --> 00:15:21,383 - Good, 9:00. It's when they change the guard. 346 00:15:21,557 --> 00:15:22,514 They're a little disorganized. 347 00:15:22,689 --> 00:15:23,559 - Righto. 348 00:15:25,082 --> 00:15:26,910 Well, how can I ever thank you, Hogan? 349 00:15:27,476 --> 00:15:29,260 - When you get to England, give my regards to Churchill. 350 00:15:29,434 --> 00:15:31,001 - Churchhill? 351 00:15:31,175 --> 00:15:33,917 Oh yes, of course, old Winnie. I'll do that. 352 00:15:38,313 --> 00:15:40,271 - Perfect, it's going like clockwork. 353 00:15:40,445 --> 00:15:41,359 - We must have a car waiting 354 00:15:41,533 --> 00:15:42,970 to take Baumann to the airfield. 355 00:15:43,144 --> 00:15:45,189 - I'll arrange that, you can depend on me, Major. 356 00:15:45,363 --> 00:15:48,018 - I will arrange it, I'd rather depend on me. 357 00:15:49,193 --> 00:15:51,065 - Well now that you mention it, so would I. 358 00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:07,777 - All right, stick to the schedule, and it should work. 359 00:16:07,951 --> 00:16:09,431 - What if anything goes wrong? 360 00:16:10,606 --> 00:16:11,825 - Don't be afraid to use them. 361 00:16:11,999 --> 00:16:12,956 - Car's wailing on the road, sir. 362 00:16:13,130 --> 00:16:14,349 - German efficiency. 363 00:16:14,523 --> 00:16:15,829 - And two goons in the front seat. 364 00:16:16,003 --> 00:16:17,047 - All right, Kinch, Newkirk move out. 365 00:16:17,221 --> 00:16:17,656 - Right, sir. - Right, sir. 366 00:16:21,269 --> 00:16:23,053 - Why do I miss all the action? 367 00:16:23,227 --> 00:16:26,274 - Stop complaining, this whole operation depends on you. 368 00:16:26,448 --> 00:16:28,015 You all set? 369 00:16:28,189 --> 00:16:30,017 - Sure, I cook while everybody else fights a war. 370 00:16:30,191 --> 00:16:31,409 - I'll see that De Gaulle gives you an oak leaf cluster 371 00:16:31,583 --> 00:16:34,151 and a crepe Suzette, now move it. 372 00:17:27,683 --> 00:17:30,642 - Sir, I want you to meet your replacement, Claude. 373 00:17:31,948 --> 00:17:33,471 Time to go up, sir. The bus is waiting. 374 00:17:33,645 --> 00:17:34,690 - Oh, jolly good. 375 00:17:36,910 --> 00:17:37,780 - There you go. 376 00:17:40,043 --> 00:17:42,045 - I think he's gaining weight, sir. 377 00:18:24,087 --> 00:18:25,349 - All set? 378 00:18:25,523 --> 00:18:26,394 - Uh-huh. 379 00:18:27,395 --> 00:18:29,092 - We'll go through the window. 380 00:19:43,558 --> 00:19:44,776 - Here they are. 381 00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:46,082 Moving towards the wire. 382 00:19:49,259 --> 00:19:51,000 - Have the guards been alerted? 383 00:19:52,219 --> 00:19:53,568 - The men guarding the wire have been told 384 00:19:53,742 --> 00:19:55,483 to look the other way. 385 00:19:55,657 --> 00:19:57,964 - Sergeant Schultz is watching the Englander in the cooler. 386 00:19:58,138 --> 00:19:59,617 I have taken care of everything. 387 00:19:59,791 --> 00:20:01,097 - Excellent, Klink. 388 00:20:05,797 --> 00:20:07,103 - Speak in English, you fool, 389 00:20:07,277 --> 00:20:09,758 I'm Group Captain James Roberts, RAF. 390 00:20:09,932 --> 00:20:11,325 - Yes, sir. 391 00:20:11,499 --> 00:20:12,804 - Right, let's get on with it. 392 00:20:36,393 --> 00:20:37,742 - Ooh! 393 00:20:37,916 --> 00:20:39,657 - Potato pancakes, I made some extra. 394 00:20:39,831 --> 00:20:41,616 It is 395 00:20:43,183 --> 00:20:44,575 - Let me get a few to the captain. 396 00:20:44,749 --> 00:20:46,403 - It's against order, nobody goes in there. 397 00:20:46,577 --> 00:20:47,926 - Oh, come on, Schultzie. 398 00:20:48,101 --> 00:20:49,145 - You're not supposed to be out of the barracks! 399 00:20:49,319 --> 00:20:50,581 You're not supposed to be here, 400 00:20:50,755 --> 00:20:51,495 you're not supposed to go in there. 401 00:20:51,669 --> 00:20:52,931 - Okay, you win. 402 00:20:53,106 --> 00:20:55,282 Wait a minute. 403 00:20:55,456 --> 00:20:57,327 Don't be so hasty. 404 00:21:04,465 --> 00:21:06,423 - Come on, hurry it up, Robbie. 405 00:21:06,597 --> 00:21:08,164 - You said there'd be a diversion. When? 406 00:21:08,338 --> 00:21:09,861 - Don't worry, cut, cut. 407 00:21:11,602 --> 00:21:12,473 - Captain? 408 00:21:13,648 --> 00:21:17,086 Captain, one of the prisoners has a surprise for you. 409 00:21:18,783 --> 00:21:19,741 Hello, Captain. 410 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:22,831 Captain? 411 00:21:28,184 --> 00:21:30,534 That's not Captain Roberts. 412 00:21:30,708 --> 00:21:32,710 - He must have sneaked out. I bet he's trying to escape. 413 00:21:32,884 --> 00:21:34,930 Ooh, we're in trouble. 414 00:21:36,801 --> 00:21:38,020 Where would he go? 415 00:21:38,194 --> 00:21:39,239 - Try the wire near the main gate. 416 00:21:39,413 --> 00:21:40,718 Right. 417 00:21:40,892 --> 00:21:42,503 How did you know? 418 00:21:42,677 --> 00:21:43,982 - If I was going to escape, that's where I would go. 419 00:21:44,157 --> 00:21:45,897 Okay. 420 00:21:46,072 --> 00:21:47,551 Keep the pancakes warm. 421 00:21:53,905 --> 00:21:54,993 - A-ha! Halt! 422 00:21:55,168 --> 00:21:57,083 I caught you in time. 423 00:21:57,257 --> 00:21:58,345 - Don't shoot, comrade! 424 00:21:58,519 --> 00:21:59,520 - Put your hands up, they got us. 425 00:21:59,694 --> 00:22:02,044 - So, Captain Roberts, huh? 426 00:22:04,742 --> 00:22:07,049 - Lieutenant Baumann, special mission. 427 00:22:07,223 --> 00:22:08,398 - Lieutenant Baumann? 428 00:22:08,572 --> 00:22:09,660 - Don't listen to him, Schultz, 429 00:22:09,834 --> 00:22:10,922 English officers are very clever, 430 00:22:11,097 --> 00:22:12,533 he's trying to confuse you. 431 00:22:12,707 --> 00:22:14,274 Give up, Robbie, you're going to get us shot. 432 00:22:14,448 --> 00:22:17,190 - I demand to see Major Hochstetter. 433 00:22:17,364 --> 00:22:18,887 - Put him back into the cooler. 434 00:22:19,061 --> 00:22:21,194 If he tries anything, shoot him. 435 00:22:21,368 --> 00:22:23,892 I'll report you to the Kommandant. Come on! 436 00:22:25,459 --> 00:22:26,416 - Want me to come along, Schultz? 437 00:22:26,590 --> 00:22:28,288 - Yes, it would be very nice, 438 00:22:28,462 --> 00:22:31,552 especially when you where trying to help him to escape. 439 00:22:31,726 --> 00:22:33,554 March! 440 00:22:33,728 --> 00:22:36,078 - Ja? Ja? How, how long? 441 00:22:37,645 --> 00:22:41,344 Excellent, excellent, good work. Ja, Heil Hitler. 442 00:22:41,518 --> 00:22:43,781 The airfield reports that Baumann, alias Roberts took off 443 00:22:43,955 --> 00:22:45,783 for Belgium five minutes ago. 444 00:22:45,957 --> 00:22:48,786 - Oh, marvelous news, Major. Congratulations to both of us. 445 00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:50,571 - Both of us? 446 00:22:50,745 --> 00:22:51,528 - Well, I'd like to feel I had a small part in it. 447 00:22:51,702 --> 00:22:53,313 - Yeah, very small. 448 00:22:53,487 --> 00:22:54,096 - In your report to the Gestapo, could you possibly- 449 00:22:54,270 --> 00:22:55,663 Herr Kommandant! 450 00:22:55,837 --> 00:22:56,968 - Not now, Schultz. - Could you possibly- 451 00:22:57,143 --> 00:22:58,840 - Herr Kommandant! 452 00:22:59,014 --> 00:23:01,147 I am reporting that I captured the prisoner 453 00:23:01,321 --> 00:23:02,496 who was trying to escape. 454 00:23:02,670 --> 00:23:03,671 - That's true. 455 00:23:03,845 --> 00:23:04,846 - Obviously the diversion. 456 00:23:05,020 --> 00:23:06,108 - Yes, of course, the diversion. 457 00:23:06,282 --> 00:23:07,675 - I'd like to make a confession. 458 00:23:07,849 --> 00:23:09,198 Sergeant Schultz gets full credit. 459 00:23:09,372 --> 00:23:10,808 - All right, Hogan, some other time. 460 00:23:10,982 --> 00:23:13,289 In your report, Major, please mention my name. 461 00:23:17,380 --> 00:23:19,382 - If I do something wrong, no good. 462 00:23:19,556 --> 00:23:21,950 If I do something right, it's no good, either. 463 00:23:22,124 --> 00:23:23,343 - Don't worry, Schultz, I'll see that you get 464 00:23:23,517 --> 00:23:24,692 full credit for the capture. 465 00:23:24,866 --> 00:23:26,955 - Ah, you're nice, Colonel Hogan. 466 00:23:27,129 --> 00:23:30,872 You might be my enemy, but sometimes you're also my friend. 467 00:23:31,046 --> 00:23:32,787 - Look at it this way, Schultz. 468 00:23:32,961 --> 00:23:35,181 You've got me as a friend, you don't really need an enemy. 469 00:23:37,357 --> 00:23:38,923 Thank you. 470 00:23:39,097 --> 00:23:41,056 Anytime, Schultz, anytime. 471 00:23:45,582 --> 00:23:47,758 - Ah, Major, here is your prisoner. 472 00:23:47,932 --> 00:23:50,892 So, Sergeant Schultz, you caught Group Captain Roberts, huh? 473 00:23:51,066 --> 00:23:52,154 - Good work, Sergeant. 474 00:23:52,328 --> 00:23:53,547 - I am not Group Captain Roberts. 475 00:23:53,721 --> 00:23:55,157 I am Lieutenant Baumann. 476 00:23:55,331 --> 00:23:56,941 He keeps saying that. 477 00:23:57,115 --> 00:23:58,682 - If you are Lieutenant Baumann, then speak German. 478 00:23:58,856 --> 00:24:00,162 What was your mission? 479 00:24:00,336 --> 00:24:03,513 Winston Churchill 480 00:24:03,687 --> 00:24:05,994 - Oh, this can't be! 481 00:24:06,168 --> 00:24:07,952 But I just had the report that the Englishman 482 00:24:08,126 --> 00:24:10,259 then crossed the Channel early this morning 483 00:24:10,433 --> 00:24:13,610 protected by the Luftwaffe. 484 00:24:13,784 --> 00:24:17,397 Klink, I will mention you in my report! 485 00:24:18,398 --> 00:24:21,966 But I don't understand, I... 486 00:24:22,140 --> 00:24:25,231 - You're a very clever adversary, Colonel Hogan. 487 00:24:25,405 --> 00:24:26,275 My congratulation. 488 00:24:28,234 --> 00:24:30,540 Thanks. 489 00:24:37,547 --> 00:24:39,201 - Hogan! - Well, don't blame me, 490 00:24:39,375 --> 00:24:40,811 I didn't know his arm was loaded. 36003

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