All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes S03E03 D-Day at Stalag 13_prob4.eng

- Hogan.

Bit of a dirty trick
flying you to London

for an hour of
being a free man,

and then dropping you
back at Stalag 13.

- Breaks up the day, sir.

- Haha, you're a good man.

Guess what this is?

- D-day, sir.

- D-day,

and forget you saw it.

Now, I can't tell
you the exact date,

even to tell you this
much had to be cleared

at the highest level
of intelligence,

the old man himself.

But the date will be soon.

- It's been a long
time coming, sir.

- A long time and we
don't want any mistakes.

- Not on our part.
- Yes sir.

- Of course, we could
use a few mistakes

from Jerry and that's
why you are here, Hogan.

You have a drink?
- No thanks, sir.

- Well, don't mind if I do.

Now, the German General
Staff knows something is up.

They are meeting tomorrow
to plan their strategy.

That we know for a fact.

- That's very good
intelligence, sir.

- And we know more.

Our bombers have pounded
just about every spot

in Germany they've used
for a meeting place.

So they're going where they
don't think we'll follow.

- Stalag 13.

- You're gonna bomb us?

- It's been brought up,

and rejected.

Which is where you
come in, Hogan.

Sit down.

Hogan,

you have quite a
reputation for the offbeat,

the bizarre,

and for bringing it off.

- I have a good crew, sir.

- And you're going to need them.

Now,

sometime in the
next very few days,

the greatest amphibious
force in history

is going to hit the
coast of France.

And when it does,

we need desperately
some indecision

from the Germans
before they react.

Now Hogan,

we want nothing less from you

than to tie up the
German General Staff.

Can you do it?

- Must say, sir,
it's quite a challenge.

- That's good enough.

The means, we'll
leave up to you.

- Thank you, sir.

- Oh, just one more thing.

Our informant will
also be at Stalag 13.

She's the wife of
General von Scheider,

German Chief of Staff.

- That's a pretty
good informant.

- Well, yes and no.

You see, we planted
her years ago,

before she married von Scheider,

and after that, we
lost contact with her.

Deliberately. Too risky.

Well now there's no
reason to hold back.

This is it.

Use her if you can, Hogan.

But remember,

she has been away
from us a long time.

Don't trust her completely,
unless you have to.

- Yes, sir.

- Good luck, old man.

- Thanks, sir.

- Carry on.

- Up, up, up, up, up, up!

Everybody up!

I must have your
immediate attention.

- What's going on?

- I have a very important
announcement to make.

All prisoners are
confined into the barracks

until further notice.

- Schultzy!

- All prisoners are
confined into the barracks

until further notice

and any prisoner found not
in the barracks will be shot.

- Hey, get the white gloves.

- Hey, what happened
to you Schultz?

You look just like a soldier.

Herr Kommandant
informed me personally

that Stalag 13 is the
most important spot

of all of Germany.

- Why?

- He did not tell me,

but he wanted me to be
sure that Colonel Hogan-

Where is Colonel Hogan?

- Where should he be?
- Right here!

If he's not here, I would
like to know where he is.

I think I would like
to know where he is.

Where is Colonel Hogan?

- Why don't you take a look
in his office, Schultz?

- I will.

Is he in there?

- No, but by that time
he may be out here.

- I demand to kno-

Shh, don't tell me.

Colonel!

Colonel Hogan!

Hogan, where are you?

- Hi.

- How's it going?

Welcome home, Colonel.

Colonel Hogan!

- Somebody call my name?

- Colonel Hogan,
where have you been?

I have strict orders
from Kommandant Klink

that nothing out of
the way should happen

in the next several days.

That everything has to be-

- Something wrong, Schultz?

- Hey, how was it?

- What happened in
London, Colonel?

- Did you get a chance
to visit Ginger?

Goes anywhere, anytime,

day or night.

- If you think my
commanding officer would do-

- All right.
Hold it, hold it.

Small talk later.

We got work to do.

The German Army General
Staff is due here

in less than an hour.

- You're kidding?

- Straight stuff.

- Here?

- I'll design my greatest bomb.

- No violence.

Psychological warfare.

Who does the best Hitler?

- Audio or visual?

- On the phone.

- Kinch.

- No doubt about it.
- Kinch?!

Yes, Kinch does the best.

- All right, all right,
it's all set.

This is so big,

I-I can't tell you what it is.

- D-day.

- Coming sir, coming.

Just one moment.

Welcome General I-

Oh, Hogan,

what are you doing here?

I left strict orders.

Any prisoners found
outside the barracks

would be shot.

- I just came
through the tunnel.

There's an entrance
in your outer office.

Schultz, Sargent Schultz!
Report to me on the double!

- Something up, sir?

- I'm going to have
you escorted back

to your barracks at once.

Schultz!
- Telephone, sir.

- I don't have time to
listen to the telephone.

Schultz!

I'll get it.

No!

Hello?

- Colonel Klink?

- Yes, yes, yes.

- This is General Borneman
calling from Bergtesgarten.

- Oh, General Borneman,

I beg your pardon,
General Borneman.

- This is a recording of
the voice of the Fuhrer,

being played for all the
colonels in the German army.

Are you listening?

- Sir? I'm listening,
I'm listening.

With all my being.

- You called me,
Herr Kommandant?

- Schultz be quiet!

- To all colonels,

the war goes poorly.

Why?

Because my generals
cannot follow orders!

Because from the
Chief of Staff down,

they put themselves

before the genius of the Fuhrer.

Therefore, I shall
teach them a lesson.

I shall seek out and
find the most incompetent

colonel in the
entire German Army,

but one who can follow orders.

He shall be my new
Chief of Staff.

Together, we shall sweep
on to glorious victory

for the fatherland.

I have spoken!

- Bad news from home, sir?

- Incredible news, Hogan.

The Fuhrer is looking for
the most incompetent colonel

in the German Army

to make him his
new Chief of Staff.

- Marvelous.

Congratulations!

- Hogan!

With my record...

Why, they've even
chosen Stalag 13 as

the meeting place for
the General Staff.

The General Staff!

What am I to say to
General von Scheider?

- Tell him 20
prisoners have escaped,

and you're right in the running.

- Hogan!

I can't do that!

Schultz, take him back

to his barracks and see
to it that he stays there.

- Jawohl, Herr Kommandant!

- If you change your mind sir,

just take the guards off the
south tower for five minutes,

we'll make you a big man.

- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

I'll let you know.

Hm!

Schutlz, out with him!

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

Herr Kommandant, were I in
your favorable position-

- Out!

- Well, and here we are.

I do hope that you find
my quarters satisfactory.

Herr General,
Frau von Scheider.

- Er yes, it will do.

- Now as you can see,

I myself live in Spartan
bachelor simplicity.

- They will do Klink.

- Herr General, thank you.

- The staff is
waiting for me, Lilli.

- I shall manage, Karl.

- Uh, Herr General,

shall we go to my office?

- I shall go.

- Of course, of course.

I wouldn't think of intruding.

- Good.

I'll be back soon, Lilli.

- Goodbye Karl.

- Herr General,
Frau von Scheider.

- If you are trying
to escape, Colonel,

you will need a much
better sense of direction.

- It's adequate, thanks.

- But there is something
else you can help me with.

- Oh?

And why should I help you?

- Because I know who you
are and what you are.

- Who told you?

Nevermind.

What's important now is how
up-to-date is your information?

- I wouldn't know.

- You are my first contact
in over three years.

- It was for your
own protection.

- I didn't need protection,

I needed contact.

Have you any idea what happens
to a woman in three years?

He loves me, you know?

- Yes, you kept
sending information.

- With no reply, none.

- Look, whatever the past
three years have been,

what matters to me is now.

I'm working on a plan to
immobilize the General Staff.

I'm making them
think that Hitler

is replacing von Scheider

with the most incompetent
colonel in the Wehrmacht,

just to bring the army to heel.

- How bizarre.

- I'm noted for that.

The colonel that's taking
his place is Klink,

which makes it
even more bizarre.

- But you are a prisoner of war.

How can you make
such things happen?

- That's why I need the help.

They told me
not to get in touch

with you unless I had to,
and I had to.

Now,

are you in or out?

- After all this time?

I am to help with
this crazy scheme

which has no possibility
of realization?

- It's up to you.

- For laughs.

Yes.

- Thanks.

You'll have a million.

- How do I look Colonel?

- Like a Boy Scout
with a mustache,

but you're all we've got.

- Schultz is here.
- What'll I do?

Stay here.

If we can't fool Schultz,
we can't fool anybody.

- Colonel Hogan,

have you got the latest?

- You know I don't
spread rumors, Schultz.

- This is a definite rumor.

There is a Gestapo
major coming into camp

to check on Kommandant
Klink's efficiency,

for the office of
Chief of Staff.

- Ah, come off it Schultzy.

- I swear!

It's the most efficient
checkup of inefficiency

in the history of Germany.

And we, hmm,

we are a very efficient people.

- Where'd you hear it?

- Well, it-

- Aha!

Fraternizing with
the prisoners, is it?

Giving them valuable
military information,

is it?

Aha!

- Silence!

This confirms exactly what
these men have told me.

This is the worst run
prisoner-of-war camp

in all of Germany.

- That's bad, sir?

- That's good.

For Klink's chances of
promotion to Chief of Staff.

- Oh, that's good.

- That's bad!

He will be replaced by
someone who'll send bumblers

like you to the Russian front!

- That's very bad.

- Cheer up, Schultz.

It's only a rumor.

- Klink?!

Impossible.

Goodbye, Lilli.

Excuse me, gentlemen.

Now, we were discussing-

- General von Scheider,

not Klink.

- You've heard the rumors then?

My sincerest sympathy.

Frau von Sheider
told me at lunch.

The wives always
know first, somehow.

- And the Gestapo
is already here.

Apparently the chances
of Klink look very good.

- General.

My father was a general

of the German Army,

as was yours.

We have roots, tradition.

We will not stand
for this humiliation

at the hands of an
Austrian corporal.

- General von Scheider stays.

Who speaks for the true Germany?

- All for one and one for all!

- Colonel Klink?

- Kommandant Klink!

Oh, Major,

at your service, sir.

- Major Lindenfelder
from Berlin.

- Uh-huh.

- Checking.

Checking, yes sir.

I trust that everything
is in perfect order?

- Miserable.
- Miserable.

Is that bad?
Or is it good?

- So far, you are getting
my highest failing marks

in everything.

Come.
- No, no, no, please.

The General Staff
is meeting in there.

- So?
- Oh!

- One could be here, and-

May I inquire the
meaning of this?

- The Gestapo never
gives answers,

just questions.

- The Major's just checking.

- You presume, Major,

to break in on the
Army General Staff?

Out!

- I take orders only
from the Fuhrer,

not from has-beens.

- Has-beens?

I was a general when you were
still living in the gutter.

- Now gentleman, gentlemen.

Why, there is much to
be said on both sides.

I feel that-

- Oh, am I intruding,
I can come back.

- Out!
- Out!

- Stay!
- Stay!

- Klink, I thought all prisoners

were to remain in barracks?

- Major Lindenfelder,

I gave the strictest
instructions to-

- Hmm, another
black mark, Klink.

- I feel terrible.

- Klink,

you have compiled a perfect
inefficiency rating.

I think the Fuhrer has
found a new Chief of Staff.

- It was nothing.

- Nothing?

That is the word for it.

Major, you can tell Berlin

that the General Staff
is united and firm.

They are not accepting
this humiliation,

and that is final!

- Final?

Uh huh.

And you, General Bruner,

you are putting yourself
in defiance of Herr Hitler?

- He is.

- I have my duty as
a German soldier.

Of course,

obedience to orders
is a part of duty.

- Bruner?

- And you, General von Katz?

- I am sure,

if the Fuhrer truly
understood the situation,

his well-known sense
of fair play would-

- Von Katz!

- Uh huh.

You may expect a phone
call in a matter of hours.

- Yes sir, phone call.

- General Klink.

- Sounds right.

General Klink.

- Stalag 13.

- I'm sorry, he's still in
a staff meeting, General.

He's taking no calls.

- Stalag 13,

General Rommel.

Is that the General Rommel?

- They're jamming, Colonel.

The BBC,
they're blocking out all

the German radar installations

between Le Havre and Dunkirk.

- That's it, D-day.

They'll be hitting the
beaches in a couple of hours.

- Guess we better
get started, huh?

- Right.

- Colonel, the woman is outside.

- Frau von Scheider?

- She came down through the
entrance in Klink's quarters,

on her own.

I found her wondering
in the tunnels.

- I'm sorry to come here,

but I had to see you.

- All right, what is it?

- The plan will not work.

My husband-

von Scheider has
managed to rally them.

He's holding them to their
word as German officers.

They will not step down,

even if they are
convinced the order comes

from Hitler himself.

- You let us worry about that.

Now, you are to stay with him.

Keep him off balance.

Keep him from checking it out.

- But it will not work.

I have been his wife
for three years.

I know him.

- That's another thing.

We have orders to get
you back to England.

Your assignment in
Germany is finished.

They wanna start using
what you've learned.

- Just like that?

I am to pick up and to leave?

- Maybe you'd rather stay?

- No.

But I am a human being.

Surely you can understand that?

- Right now I've got time to
understand just one thing.

We've got a thousand ships
crossing the channel,

ready to hit the French beaches,

and I've got work to do.

LeBeau, get her
to Klink's office.

- Right sir.

- We're gonna make a phone
call to there in five minutes.

You may be right
about von Scheider,

but we're betting the other way.

- Yes.

Bergtesgarten.

- Von Scheider?

Von Scheider, put
Klink on the phone.

Now!

- The Fuhrer wishes
to speak to you.

- Me?

Yes, mein Fuhrer?

- Are you able to
follow orders, Klink?

- Oh, I love to follow orders,
mein Fuhrer.

Almost any orders,
especially your orders.

- You are my new
Army Chief of Staff.

Do not make a move
without my permission.

Is that clear?

- Perfectly, thank you sir.

I shall do my best to
justify the great confidence

you have shown in me.

- Shut up and put
on von Scheider.

- Shut up and put
on von Scheider, yes sir.

- Are you there, von Scheider?

- Ja, mein Fuhrer?

- Tell me,

do you remember what happened

to the last Chief
of Staff before you?

- I believe he shot
himself, Fuhrer.

- He was allowed
to shoot himself!

With you, I am going
to be much more lenient.

You will succeed Klink,

as Kommandant of Stalag 13.

- Kommandant of Stalag 13?

- Are you there, von Scheider?

Did you hear me?

- Ja, mein Fuhrer,

I heard.

And I just want to say,

thank you.

Thank you, mein Fuhrer.

- Two American airborne
divisions

parachuted into Normandy.

1:11 AM

- That's a half hour ago.

- Vives les Americains.

- Colonel, it's von
Roenstadt's headquarters,

they insist on talking
to General von Scheider.

- Rommel's headquarters,

they're trying to get through.

- All right, this is it.

From now on,

all calls in or out,

go direct to Klink's quarters.

- All calls?

- We can't trust Klink
to do the right thing,

who can we trust?

- Another toast to the
new Chief of Staff.

- Ja, Ja, General Klink.

- General Klink.

- I will drink to that.

- Herr Kommandant,

excuse me please.

Herr Kommandant!

Oh, I mean,

Herr Chief of Staff.

General von Roenstadt himself
is calling from France.

He insists on speaking
with General von Scheider

at once!

- Well, I suppose the news
has not yet reached him.

Excuse me.

Thank you, Schultz.

My dear von Roenstadt,

this is your new
Army Chief of Staff,

Wilhelm Klink speaking.

Now, General von Scheider is-

What?

They're doing what?

Those barbarians!

They're invading France.

Yes sir?

Reinforcements?

New panzer divisions?

You want me to-

General Roenstadt,

I shall have to call you back.

What shall I do?

- Where's the assault?
- Normandy.

- A feint, a diversion.

The main blow will
come at Calais.

- You are wrong, Le Havre.

- I still insist-

- But what shall I do?

I mean-

oh, General von Scheider,

the Allies are invading.

What shall I do?

- Have you seen Lilli?

Where could she be at this hour?

- Please, General von Scheider!

- Herr Chief of Staff, please.

General Rommel's headquarters.

Allied divisions are
landing on the beaches.

- I'm not here!

- Her small suitcase is gone.

- All right, all right.

I'll get her another one.

But what am I going to do?

- The Panzer Lehr,

and the 12th S.S. Panzer
Division should be brought up.

- Only if this is not a feint.

Permission to move panzers

can only be given
personally by Hitler.

- Ha!
The very thing.

Hitler, call him.

- I have been relieved.

General Bruner, you call him.

- It's not my place.

- Von Katz?
- No, thank you.

- You see it's all up to you,
General von Scheider.

- I'm going to look for Lilli.

- Please, General
von Scheider I-

Schultz, you call him.

- Yes, Herr Chief of Staff.

What shall I call him?

- All right,

get me Bergtesgarten,

the Fuhrer's headquarters.

It's very urgent.

What time does he go to bed?

Hallo?

General Borneman?

This is Klink speaking,

Army Chief of Staff, Klink.

I suppose I could call
myself General Klink,

but until the papers
come through I-

What?

K-L-I-

Nevermind.

Did you know that we
were being invaded?

Yes. Normandy.

They're coming
ashore like locusts.

So if you'll just ask the Fuhrer
what he wants me to do, I-

Hmm?

Klink.

K-L-I-N-K.

The new Army Chief of Staff.

No, I'm not drunk!

Yes, of course
I've been drinking.

But an Army Chief of
Staff does not get drunk!

You just ask him-

Huh?

He's in bed?

He left strict orders
not to be disturbed?

Well, an order is an
order, General Borneman.

So if you'll just be
kind enough to bring it

to his attention
in the morning,

I would-

General Borneman?

General Borneman?

I think we've been cut off.

- Shall I try to
get him back, sir?

- No.

- What shall we do?

- We must do something!

- Yes, we must do something!

- More champagne?

- That's it, Colonel.

I just told London that Jerry

won't be moving any
reinforcements for a while.

- Good.

- Colonel, I'd like to volunteer

for service with
the invading forces.

- Request denied.

Although, I know how you feel.

Right now, I want you to
take Frau von Scheider

to her rendezvous
with the submarine.

She's headed for England.

- Oh, c'est la guerre.

- Goodbye.
- So long.

- And good luck.

- Your papers, ma'am.

- Oh, thank you.

It was a brilliant
operation, Colonel.

Bizarre, but brilliant.

- Have a safe trip.

- Thank you.

Goodbye.

- Uh,

any farewell messages?

- No.

Because I leave no one behind.

Goodbye.

- Hey Colonel,

what'd she mean by that?

- Carter, when you're
older, you'll understand.