All language subtitles for Gunsmoke.S14E18.Goldtown.720p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-DarkSaber_iris2_track3_[und]

♪

-"Gunsmoke," starring
James Arness as Matt Dillon.

-All right. All right.

-I'll tell you one thing,
Cousin Smiley --

These townsfolk sure do have
sharp eyes.

Well, we keep this up, we're
gonna lose every cent we got.

-All right,
let's have another game, now.

Place your bets now.
Another game.

Who's ready?
Who's willing?

-Why that fat, big, ol'
long-legged ridge runner,

Elbert Moses,

that's who that is.

-Well, that's one way
of describing him.

-And here we go!

-You see that another one
there with him,

Matthew, grinning
like a cat eating cactus?

That's his cousin, Smiley.

And when he starts to smiling,

then you better get a good hold
on your pocket money.

-Yeah, I noticed that just
looking at him through the jail.

-Well, maybe you're right,

cousin, but it just don't seem
a fair kind of game

if we quit just on account
that we're losing.

-That's right,
you said table stakes.

You said we could bet
till your money's gone.

-That's right.
-That's right.

-All right.
All right.

Then, uh, well,

then let's have bets for another
game, what do you say, huh?

Quick one now.

Where's the pea, now?
Where's the pea?

-If Elbert Moses would ever
quit swindling people and turn

in some honest work,
he'd make good money.

-Aw, the onlyest honest breath

either one of them ever took
was the day they was born.

-$17?
-$17.

-Well, I guess maybe
we can cover that much, cousin.

Can we?
-Yeah.

-I-I got another ten.

-Good.
-25 cents?

-No, puny, piddling 25 cents.

These be high stakes, mister.

-Cousin Elbert Moses.

Now the man's money is welcome
as long as he earned it honest.

-Now did you?
-Of course.

-Well, then you're covered.

Here. Cover the man's quarter.

-25 cent.

-All right, ladies and
gentleman, now watch the pea.

Find out which shell it's under.

And here we go.

Round and round she goes.

Where she stops nobody knows.

Hand is quicker than the eye.
Hand is quicker than the eye.

Which one's it under?
Where's the pea?

-I say it's
under the middle one.

-The middle one.
-Same here.

-All right, look.
I'm gonna give you folks

another chance to guess.

-You want it?
-It's the middle one, mister.

You're not gonna
change our minds.

-In fact,
I'll cover the rest of the money

you got in your hand.

-Elbert, seems to me I told you

last time you came to Dodge
you'd have to behave yourself,

didn't I?

-Well, now, Marshal,
as you can see, well,

ain't nobody more law-abiding
than old cousin Smiley

and me right this minute.

-Why, this is just a game of
skill, a little friendly wager

so they can try to guess
where the peas is.

-Right.
-Uh-huh.

There is a pea under one
of those shells, I take it?

-Yeah.
-We guessed right five times

in a row, Marshal.

-All right, I think I'll make
a little wager myself, then.

-Matthew,
I saw how this game --

-I'm just gonna wager
as to whether or not you two

are gonna be riding out of town
in about five minutes.

-All right, I'll take
that middle one myself.

-Go on, turn the others over.

[ Laughter ]

-Give me my money.

-I'm going to Ms. Kitty's!

-Now, I'm gonna tell you two
once more for the last time --

Don't you come back into Dodge

unless you've got
legitimate business here.

Now, if you ride out
in the next five minutes,

you might just save
yourself a jail sentence.

Five minutes.

-Took us an awful long time
to put them dollars together

we see walking away.

Now, that ain't fair.

-Oh, just about as fair
as you was setting

these folks up and then
taking their hard-earned money,

ain't it?

I don't reckon
you'd want to make a bet

about which hand
that pea's hid in, would you?

-Oh, I must have
dropped it on the ground --

-Oh.

-Why is it, every time
I run into bad luck,

you're around?!

-Oh, is that what you call
bad luck, is it?

Cheating folks
and getting caught at it?

Get out of town.

-Well, Elbert Moses,
I'm just feeling all cranky

the way
money's been avoiding me lately.

-Yeah, well, I figure we been
practically cheated,

the way them people
just grabbed that money and run.

Tell you I sure would like
get even on these smart-aleck-y,

stupid townspeople.

-Well, getting even's all right

with me along as it
puts some money in my pocket.

-Then why don't we get us
bottle and a place

and figure on it?

-Yeah, except we ain't got
the price for a bottle.

-Well, then I
reckon we could do without one.

-But I tell yous one thing,
Cousin Smiley,

I figure we been
took for $50.

And I figure that town's got
that coming back in grief!

Come on, Cousin Smiley.

♪

♪

♪

-Well, that's
a fool thing to do.

You burn down a jail,
they'll just build another.

-Yeah, sure would pleasure me,
though, to see that ol' marshal

just running out
in the middle of the night

in his long johns kind of
smoking here and there.

-No, you got to beat them
Dodge people in dealings.

That's the way to hurt them.

-[ Grunts ]

Gonna have to get used to being
on the move again, old girl.

[ Chuckles ]

-It's like the old saying,
"Use a little honey,

show a little teeth,
then they never get mad

at the nice feller," you being
the nice feller, of course.

-Of course.

-Morning friends.

You boys like to do me a favor?

-We got our own problems,
friend.

-[ Chuckles ]

Nah, nah. I didn't mean no labor
on your part.

Just these jugs of whiskey.

See, I can't take
the whole stock along.

You fellas welcome to dispose
of it anyway you like.

-This day sure
could use some refreshment.

-Sure could.

-Better letting you boys
have it,

seeing it don't go to waste.

[ Chuckling ]

Get us out
inside of the sun, eh?

-Old Grandma,
swatting that old broom,

scared that old bear
right off the back porch!

I think -- I think
that old bear never come back!

[ Laughter ]

-You fellas sure make
good company!

Real glad you stopped by!

-Hey, you been alone
for 5 years, you old coot.

Anybody'd be good company.

-Yeah, guess it must be
about close to 5 years

since the last fella
decided to move on.

I just kept right on digging.

'Bout two, three dollars
a month 'bout all the gold

I can come up with right now.

Real shame.

By the grace of God,

mining's in the ground's
worth a man's labor

you'd have had here
at Dodge City, I guess?

Town hustling, bustling.

-Are you saying you own most
of the diggings here?

About how -- What did you say?
How's that go again?

-Yeah, just kept buying as
these fellas decides to move on.

Speculating, might say.

You know, sometimes, I got me
a whole claim for a dollar.

-[ Burps ]

See, you fellas decide
to buy me out,

I could let you have
some 50 land titles for $50.

-Pbht!
$50 worth of nothing!

-Eh, sad truth,
that, sad truth.

Yeah, gold right
about 12 cents a ton right now.

Adds up to about to about two,

three dollars a month
for a man's labor.

-[ Burps ]

-Well, guess I better get on
out there and finish my packing.

-You know what,
that sure is a bargain,

all these diggings for $50.

-Bargain?!
In what?!

-Well, it's just a bargain.

-$50.

We ain't got 50 cents,
let alone $50.

I'm wondering if that old coot

might not be
a gambling man, hmm?

-Oh, Cousin Smiley.

[ Laughing ]

-[ Laughing ]

Yeah, yes, sirree!

Yeah, been a real pleasure
meeting up with you fellas.

-Yeah, be a real pleasure
to me, too,

if I come out of it
with a man's horse.

-Oh, nah, nah, nah.
You didn't completely lose out.

Me signing all them land titles
over to you

clear out of generosity. Ha.

-I bet you give away
a lot of snow at Christmas time

too, don't you?

-Now, recalling that bet.

I was supposed to point out
where that pea be, weren't I?

Squeezing it in your hand,
you were.

Tell you what, fellas.

I'm the kind of man
who don't like taking nothing

from somebody he ain't smiling
after he leave me.

-I'll give you $20, thereabouts,

gold poke for eating money.

My blessings on you, boys.

Take care now, you hear?

Hyah.

♪

-[ Sighs ] Well, might as well

get in there and finish
what's left in them jugs.

Smiley, we are going
from bad to worse.

And I mean real fast.

That don't look like no gold
to me.

-Nah, it just needs pounding
and washing.

-How come you know so much
about it?

-I was up in Deadwood the time
they all went wild

over finding no more than
just what I got in my han--

Elbert Moses,
somethings coming to me.

It's a little crazy,
but it's coming.

Now, don't nobody know
but you and me

that it
took that old coot a year

to dig up this $20 worth
of gold, right?

-So?

-So, supposing
that them Dodge folks

got to thinking
that we dug this gold in a day!

-Oh, come on, Cousin Smiley!

Ain't nobody gonna believe
we can get $20

out of this place in a day.

Shoot, if they did, they...

-Come running,
and us owning the land!

-Well, up there
in Deadwood, as I recollect,

land that wasn't worth sneezing
at was getting $1,000 a lot

after it brung in the gold.

-$1,000.

Cousin Smiley...

what you're saying
is clear sobering me up!

-Elbert Moses,
we got to think big.

Now, what's a real fine,
big sounding name for a town?

-What town?!

-"Welcome to Goldtown?"

I thought you said
we's moving to a town?

This here ain't no town.

-Well, how do you think
towns get started?

They get started from nothing.

-Well,
this here's less than nothing.

-All right, now, you listen.

You get in that there mine,

you clean up
all that dull stuff in there.

Get Grandma'll fill in all the
varmint holes along the street.

We won't want people thinking
this town just fit for varmints.

-Now, you look here --
Grandma and me,

we ain't about to go cleaning up
no town that ain't even a town!

-Now you listen, girl!

There's one thing
we ain't arguing about

unless you're helping out.

You always wanted to be
a school teacher, right?!

You just might
get your chance, girl.

-School teacher?

-Yeah, we're gonna
build us a schoolhouse

right next door to the saloon.

You know, we're gonna
have a realtown.

-You two gone plumb crazy.

-They always been.

-All right, now y'all listen.

We're gonna
have us a regular town here,

and if we stop getting sass,

y'all might just turn out
to be as rich as us.

-[ Chuckles ]

-I can clear smell you boys
is heading straight for trouble.

-Oh, you gonna smell trouble all
right if we come back from Dodge

and find out there
ain't been no work done!

Come on, Cousin Smiley.

[ Honky-tonk piano playing ]

-Festus, I --I just
don't understand why Etta

would leave you after one dance
and go home?

You must have done something
to hurt her feelings.

-Nah, Miss Kitty, honest.
I didn't --

-Bottle of whiskey.

-I thought me
and the marshal told you two

to stay out of Dodge City.

-Unless we had business,
he said.

Now, buying whiskey is business,
ain't it?

-Ain't got no money
for the whiskey.

-That figures.

-Just gold.

[ Piano stops ]
-Gold?

-Oh, ma'am.
I'm wondering, could you

tell me -- You figure there's
enough in here for a bottle?

-Sam, you better
take a look at it.

You know more about that stuff
than I do.

-Y-You see
a dollar's worth there?

-Well, it's raw gold.

-You mean it ain't even worth --
ain't even worth a dollar?

-I didn't say that.

-Well, what do you say?
-Well, it's unrefined.

You can't weigh it, so it's just
a matter of guessing.

As near as I can tell,
Miss Kitty,

there might be $20 here,
maybe more.

-Well, we don't have any way
of measuring it.

I-I'll tell you what,
why don't you boys just,

um, charge that bottle,

and we'll settle up later.

-Why, thank you
for your kindness, ma'am.

But, uh, we don't want you
thinking that there's $20 here.

No, uh, we just couldn't have
dug $20 worth of gold

in just two or three hours

out on them old diggings west
of town.

-Hell, I bet you
it was just luck.

We ain't gonna
do as good tomorrow.

-Nah, it's just pure old luck.

Thanks for your trust.

-Obliged.

-Miss Kitty, you hadn't ought
to trust them two.

Well, they're crooked.

They never got no $20 worth
of gold in no two hours

in them diggings west of town,
neither.

-Look at them.

Just like dropping
a catfish hook with a big ol'

fat summer worm on it.

[ Both snickering ]

-Lucky critters out there.

-$20 gold in two hours.

More than luck, I say.

♪

-Fellers.

-Merry Florene!

-It's Festus!

-Well, Merry Florene,
it's nice to see you again.

-Nice to see you, too,
Mr. Festus.

-What are you doing here
in town?

-I just come in to get
some school supplies.

-Oh, is that so?

-We got us some young'uns out
at the diggings I gots to teach.

-Yes'm, I hear
there's a whole parcel

of folks who've settled
in that yonder during the week.

-Just a miracle, Mr. Festus.

Why, my brother Elbert

and Cousin Smiley done set up
a whole town by themself.

-Is that so?

-It was beyond them,
I was first thinking.

Um, Mr. Festus, um...

Mr. Newly still
got that old gun shop of his?

-Yes'm, he's still got it.

He's in and out of there.

You can probably catch him
over there directly.

-Well, I reckon I'll wait
around here a spell.

-Sure good to see you again.

-Nice to see you, too.

-Oh, Festus, hey.

You're just the one
I'm looking for.

-Suspect you're on your way
to Garden City

to see about that stage holdup,
ain't you?

-Yeah, second time in a month,
and the same two men, I guess.

Look, there's something
I want you to do for me

in the meantime while I'm gone.

I heard about the goings
on out there

by that gold-digging field.

-Oh, yeah.
I've heared about it.

I don't understand everything
about it, though.

-Well, I don't either,

but it seems like,
for a payment of $10,

they'll give you a piece
of ground to work.

If you're not happy
with the amount of gold

you're getting out of it,
they give you your money back.

-Oh, foot.

I've heared about that, Matthew.

But I'll tell you one thing,

the day that them two fellers
gives anybody their money back,

I want to be there to see it.

-Well, that's what
I got in mind, Festus.

I want you to take this $10

and go down and put it out
on the piece of land.

There's 15 men and
their families living out there,

and as far as I'm concerned,

there's something
fishy going on about it,

and I want you to go out there
and see what it is.

-You betcha.

-Meantime, tell Newly

to keep an eye on things around
town here for me, will you?

-You betcha.
Sure will.

-If there's any trouble at all,
wire me in Garden City.

-I'll do it, Matthew.

So long.

♪

♪

-Morning, Mr. Newly.
-Merry Florene.

What brings you to town?

-Um, I got myself kind of a job,
Mr. Newly.

Schoolteaching.

It's a school my brother
and cousin be opening.

-Yeah, I heard something
about that.

I-I want to wish you a lot
of luck with it, too.

-Um, them diggings
ain't so far from Dodge.

-No, just a few miles.

-I mean, I won't be
busy teaching day andnight.

-Not hardly.

-I mean...well,
seeing you're so busy

and everything,
I could be coming into Dodge.

-Huh?
-Well,

you don't have to be ashamed
of sparking a school teacher,

like, maybe you was ashamed
of sparking me before.

-Now, wait a minute.
Wait just a minute.

There was never any question
of me being ashamed

or anything like that.

-Well, you never took'd it up
to no serious sparking.

And I figured,
if I wasn't ugly or nothing,

that maybe it was just 'cause
you was a little bitty bit

ashamed of me on account
I weren't no town girl.

-Well, of course
you're not ugly.

It's none of those things.
It's just that a girl --

a girl doesn't go around wanting

to know why some fella
isn't sparking her.

-Oh. [ Tsks ]
I've been too forward.

-Fellas and girls,
they just naturally

come together without the girl
asking outright.

-Well, how would that work,
Mr. Newly?

-Well, for an example,

fella says to a girl --

he says, would you like to go
to the church picnic Sunday,

or would you like to go riding
in the buggy.

And if she says yes, then
that's exactly what they do.

-Well,
I'd be saying yes right away,

you asked me a thing like that.

-Except I didn't.

-[ Sighs ]

Mr. Newly, notice anything
different about me?

-I don't think I know
exactly what you mean by that.

-The way I growed up.

When we first met, you remember?

-Yeah.

-I weren't nothing but a girl.

Well, I'm sort of a woman now.

I mean, kind of.

-I can see that.

-Well, ain't you gonna ask me
to go out buggy riding with you?

-There you go. That's --

That'sabsolutely
being forward.

-[ Sighs ]

Mr. Newly,

it'll be kind of wonderful
if it was the other way around,

the girl asking the feller.

You know what I'd be
doing right away?

-No, what?

-Newly, you're sort of
overpowering, know what I mean?

-Oh, morning again,
Mr. Festus.

-Merry Florene.
-[ Giggles ]

-That didn't look
anything like it was.

-Oh, is that so?

-Well, you walk in here,
and what looks like --

like...well, it just isn't!

-Newly, I feel plumb bad
about busting in right

in the middle of the thing

that wasn't
what you didn't say it was.

I-I feel plumb bad about it.

-Well, you didn't bust up
anything.

-Well, now,
don't just get all riled up.

You know,
you ain't the first feller

that I've ever saw trying
to sweep a girl off her feet.

It's like Merry Florene said,
you --

You was plumb overpowering.

-Did you come in here
for something?!

-Oh, Matthew wanted you to look
after the town while he's gone.

-All right!

-Well, don't get so
blamed huffy about it.

You're getting just as bad
as ol' Doc is.

You're getting to where a feller

can't rag you none
at all no more.

You just pooch up like a ol'
toad and your eyes start...

-[ Sighs ]

♪

-Well, howdy, Festus!

-Howdy, Louie.

You digging for gold
there, are you?

-Started just yesterday.

Too early to figure
I'm having any luck.

-Well, you ain't got
dug down too deep there yet.

[ Chuckles ]

But there's been a lot
of jibbering and jabbering

going on in town all week
about folks finding gold.

Have you seen a bit of it yet?

-Well, not me personally,

but them two fellas
be doing all right.

[ Both laughing ]

-Oh, is that so?

-That tunnel -- They're keeping
it for themselves.

-They found
their bit of gold yet?

-They ain't saying too much,

but they ain't letting nobody
in it.

-Mm-hmm.

Uh-huh.

♪

-You want something
in Goldtown?

-Goldtown?
-Yeah,

didn't you read
that there sign coming in?

-Shoot, he can't read.

-All right, smart aleck.

I took me a long look
at that sign,

and that's what it said,
Goldtown.

-Well, that's so people
don't get mixed up, you know,

to know there's gold here.

-What's on your mind?

-Well, things
is a little slack in Dodge,

and I just figured
I might come out

and do a little bit
of digging myself.

-You ain't acceptable.

-Yeah, we want family fellers

here.
-That's right.

We be more interested
in setting up a town

than having some old bum
come out here.

-No, now take it easy now,
Deputy.

No, no, no offense, man.
No offense, man.

We just want, uh, family folks
to keep our school we got going,

that's all.

-I ain't got
no young'uns myself,

but I just figured
a little dab of schooling

wouldn't hurt me none.

-Besides, it costs $10,

and we don't trust nobody
for the money.

-All right, Mr. Big Mouth,
I've got $10.

What's that there look like?

There's $10.

Now, I don't reckon you fellers

has got anything to hide
being out here, have you?

-You pick a place
that ain't been dug and dig.

-Fair enough.

-I bet you he was sent
to watch us.

-We ain't breaking the law.

♪

-Well, it ain't that so much,
Louie.

It just that I know blamed well

that there's something
shady going on here.

-They ain't asking anything
of us, Festus.

We don't dig no gold,
we get our money back.

-Just the same,
I'm fixing to keep my eyeball

peeled on them two.

I'd just give a pretty to know
what's in their heads, too.

Tell you that for sure.

-Don't remember this place
ever being so busy.

-I'd soon keep clear of Dodge.

Why don't we put up around here?

[ Bell ringing ]

-Somebody must be making
a dollar, the work going on.

-It's worth looking over.

♪

-Well, Elbert Moses.

That ought to just about do it.

-Cousin Smiley,

don't do you think
we ought to get things rolling?

-I'm a firm believer
in bringing happiness to folks

just as soon as I can.

Let's get to going on it, huh?

[ Both laugh ]

♪

-Now, we is going to learn
our letters by drawing them,

and it's gonna be real easy,

'cause each letter's gonna
remind us of something.

Now,

what letter looks like a house?

Sue.

-An "A" looks like a house.

-Very good.

Now, that's an "O."

Now I want you all to try
and write your letters

from "A" going as far
as you can,

and I'm gonna be right back.

-You're not supposed to cheat.

-Cheating?

Well, who's a-cheating?

The only thing I was trying
to do was to see that --

that you got started off on
the right foot, don't you see?

-Oh.

-Grandma, working no saloon
ain't gonna tax your strength

none, is it?

-Ain't no problems at all,
Merry Florene.

-Well,
you find yourself getting tired,

you just take yourself
a little nap now, you hear?

-Yes, I will, honey.

[ Hiccups, belches ]

Lemonade.

-How's that?
-That's far enough.

Put some right there.

-I heard something.

What you doing in here?

-Just looking around.

-Get back out there
to that there school.

Want people to think we ain't
got a civilized town here?

-Yeah, we got to keep
the land values up.

-That's right.
'Cause this mine

says we're gonna
make us $10,000 selling

them land lots
after the hullabaloo starts.

-What hullabaloo?

-Uh, we'll tell you all it
later, Merry Florene.

But right now,
we got a lot of work to do,

and you get out of here.

Go on!
Get out of here!

Why didn't you just come right
out and tell her, you big blab?

All right,
that's enough salting.

Come on, give me that gold.
Let's get out of here.

-Oh, I bet you
that old-timer there just

been in more gold-mining camps
more years than he can remember.

-There's some truth to that,
sonny.

-Oh -- Oh,

well, we was just saying about,

uh, how we sure wish

we had an old-timer with us.

Show us how to wash gold,
you know,

we being such babes and all.

-Yeah, that's right.

-Well, there ain't much too it.

You -- You just pound what you
dig out of that tunnel

and wash it in the water.

Well, gold droppings is heavy.

You find it just staring out
at you.

-Well, I tell you,
we sure would appreciate it

if you'd kind of show us
how the washing works.

-I reckon I
could spare the time.

-All right.
-All right.

-Well, I've seen
more efficient things,

but it'll probably wash,
I guess.

And get them buckets
full of water.

Where you boys been digging?

-Right at the bottom
of that shovel there.

♪

-It's going in.

-All right, Elbert Moses.
Here goes.

-Okay, put some water in.

Flush it.

-Right, water.

-Now, this heavy dirt,
that's anything with gold in it,

ought to work it's way down.

Then all you have to do
is keep this going.

Feller might do a little bit
of a prayer.

-What?
What, something wrong?

-What is it?

-Put the water.
Keep the water coming.

-Did you find something?

-Keep that water coming.
-What is it?

Did you find something?

-Well, what is it?

-You did it.
You boys did it.

-What?
-That's gold.

Gold, real gold.

You boys did it!
Gold!

-Gold!
-Gold!

-$5 a shovelful.

-Are you sure, old-timer?

-Am I sure, he said.

-Biggest strike I've seen
in 20 years, he says am I sure.

-It don't hardly seem possible.

-It don't hardly seem possible,
he said.

He wants it in gold bricks.

He wants it in a chain
on his bath.

Gold! I got gold!
I found gold!

-Elbert Moses,
just goes to show you,

work hard and you get there.

-Cousin Smiley,
I still can't believe it.

-Try.
-I will.

-Hold it, taste it, smell it.

You got the world
right there in your hand.

Squeeze it and hold it.

I been waiting 20 years for --

-Wait a minute! Hold on!

Now, where'd you get this at?

-Where did I get it, he said?

I shoveled it right out
of that tunnel wall in there.

That's where I got it at.

Just waiting for the right day

and the right hour
and the right shovel.

I found gold!
-Gold!

-Gold!
I got gold!

-Gold!
-Gold!

[ Indistinct shouting ]

-A gold find?

-Don't think I'm in a hurry
to leave here.

-Gold?
-Gold in Goldtown.

You boys sure named this place
right.

You got $10,000 a week
coming right out of that.

[ Crowd cheering ]

-$10,000 a week?

-Maybe more. Maybe more.

Well, I got to go
do my own panning.

-Well, hold it, friends,
hold it.

Hold it!

Now, you folks stuck with us,

and we're sharing.

And I bet you ain't nobody
want his $10 back, is there?

-No!

-All right.
All right now, I'm gonna

tell you what we're gonna
do for you good folks of Dodge.

We're sharing Goldtown.
Yes, sir.

Yes, sir, me and Elbert here,
why, we're gonna be

satisfied with this little ol'
itty bitty piece of ground

right here.

And we ain't taking
a penny's worth

until that gold proves out,

until we start shipping

that $10,000 worth
like our old friend here says.

Huh?

So you all go to work
in your diggings.

And starting tomorrow,

you come and sign up
for keeping your ground.

Oh, yeah, and we ain't
gonna charge no more than, oh,

$200 a head.

-$200?!
-Whoa!

-But we're giving everybody
a whole week to raise the money.

-You put my name
down right now, you hear?

-It's done, old-timer.

-Deputy.

-Come on, Elbert Moses,
we got work to do.

♪

-Someone's coming.

-Got some more for you, boys.

-Real fine, Merry Florene.

-Can I see what a poke
of gold looks like?

-Get your hand off that.

-Uh, here, Merry Florene.

Take -- Take a peek at my poke,
huh?

Look at the way
that gold sparkles.

-Ooh, that's just
lights a person's soul.

-Now put it back.
We got work to do.

-Brother Elbert, Cousin Smiley,
I'm just so proud of you boys.

You just doing things right
to make up for all those things

you done wrong.

-Dadgumit, will you stop it?

-Now get out there
and sew us some more pokes

to put this gold in.

-I'm doing that.

-Go on, get!

-I tell you, teaching school
sure has set her off.

I hope it don't make
her too smart.

-Don't fret on that, cousin.

With all that teaching,
she's still dumber than a stick.

-Oh, ain't it exciting,
Mr. Festus?

[ Smooches ]

-Just don't figure,
figure at all.

-When we moving in?
-Well,

they like to brag how much gold
they're putting together.

-We hear $10,000,
it'll be about the right time.

-Mr. Newly!

Look at me!

-Well, that's -- That dress
looks real fine, Merry.

-It's my brother
and cousin's doing.

They said to come into town
and buy everything I wanted to

and charge it to them.

-Well, I'm so happy
everything's working

out so well for you.

-Mr. Newly, you haven't been
out to Goldtown to visit me.

-The marshal asked me
to stay here

while he's gone,
which reminds me.

If you see Festus, tell him the
marshal wired me a description

of one of those horses
the outlaws are using.

Tell 'em to keep an eye out
for a pinto.

-Mr. Newly, you want me to come
in and visit with you tonight?

-I'm sorry, Merry,
I'm gonna be real busy.

♪

-Cousin Smiley,
you sure nobody else got a right

to open these here boxes but us?

-Well, that's
what that Dodge Freight feller

told Merry Florene
when she got them for us.

Besides, it's our property,
ain't it?

-You sure know your way
around townsfolk, Cousin Smiley.

-Come on, let's get them locked.
-All right.

-Hyah!

-You sure, Festus,
this is the proper thing to do?

I mean, a man's diggings
is like his house --

You ain't invited in,

you got the chance of being dead

the minute
you get past the door.

-Louie, these here whole deal

is crookeder
than a dog's hind leg.

Now believe me, it is.

When the thing don't add up,

it just plain old don't add up.

That's all there are to it,
don't you see?

-Well...

-You say $10,000?

-In that neighborhood.

-Don't you think
you ought to send it

on over to the Kansas City
government office?

For a small fee,
they'll refine it.

-Nuh-uh, don't want
no government fooling

around with our gold.

-No, you just take it
to that Hays City office

where they got that big,
strong safe and put it there.

-Here -- Here's your receipt.

-Right.

-Still gonna do it, Festus?

-Of course I am.

The minute they sit down
to eat their grub,

I'm going to do it.

I am.

-Hyah! Hyah!

-Know something, cousin Smiley?

I don't hold no grudge against
them townspeople no more.

-Elbert Moses, uh,
that's a good thought.

It's --
It's like the Good Book says,

"Don't get to hating
them you been cheating."

-Good Book says that?

-Oh, yeah.
And it goes

on to say, "Do unto others
before they do it to you."

-Shoot, I got to
read the Good Book more.

When I take up reading.

[ Gunshots ]

-Fill them up.

-You sure are lucky.

I had my aim
on your stupid head.

-Smells plumb larruping,
Grandma.

-Mine's got something
squiggly in it.

-Now, Lou, you stay out here
and keep your eyeball peeled.

-Ain't gonna be gone long?

-No, I ain't gonna be gone.

I'm going to fill up
this here tow sack with ore.

And I guarantee you, Louie,

you ain't gonna find enough gold
in it to fill up a thimble with.

And if that's the way it is,

then they been a playing
that old game of salt the deed.

-Ah, we've been robbed!
We've been robbed!

We've been robbed, Festus!

-Where at?

-Well, they hit us on
the upper canyon trail, Festus.

They wounded the shotgun.

We're gonna take him
on in to see Doc.

-Did you get a look
at the robbers, did you?

-Well, there were two of them.

They had their faces covered.

One was riding a pinto,
if that's any help.

-Pinto?

Oh, Mr. Newly told me
to tell you that Matt Dillon

said to keep your eye out
for something like that.

-All right, Ginberg.

Now, the minute you get in town,

get a telegraph off to Matthew
and tell him we're up here.

I'll see if I can pick up
their trail over in the canyon.

-Now, don't you men
worry none about your gold.

If it's -- If it's not
recovered, the freight company

will be sending you a check
for the $10,000 declared value.

-Grandma!

-Come on,
let's get out of here.

Hyah! Hyah!

[ Both laughing ]

-Elbert Moses, people just
putting money in our pockets.

There ain't no way
we can stop them.

-$10,000 ain't bad pay

for putting dirt
in the gold pokes, is it?

-We ought to go into the --
into the town-opening business.

-We'll name the next one
after you, Cousin Smiley.

[ Both laughing ]

-[ Laughing ]

-Hate to interrupt
that nice dream.

-What?

-Where's the gold?
-Cousin Smiley!

-Huh?
-The gold?

-Now, maybe you got your own
reasons for wanting people

to think you've got
twice the gold you have.

We don't care.

Just lead us to them gold pokes
you been filling here all week.

-Oh, well, we -- we done, uh --

We -- We shipped out
all the gold we had.

-We know the difference
between plain dirt and gold.

-You be them stage robbers.

-Well, wh-- Why don't y'all
just ride out ahead

and get in front of the posse.

-Five seconds,
you won't be able to say

where you got those gold pokes.

-Look, I'm -- I'm telling you,
there was never no gold.

-In the second you got left,
you say where it is.

Back further in the tunnel?

-Maybe that sister
of yours is holding it for you.

-Cousin, she's my cousin.

-No, now listen.
You don't understand.

You see,
there was never no gold.

We just -- What -- We put dirt
in all them pokes so --

so that the townsfolk would
think it would be found gold,

you see.

-That's right. That's right.

We put it in them -- in them,

uh, strong boxes
for storage in haste.

You know, so we can go
on cheating the people

and getting credit
and selling --

-That ain't true.

You boys couldn't be that mean.

Me -- Me getting
in Dodge and getting credit

and people trusting me --
-Now, Merry Florene.

-There is gold!

There is gold!

You boys, for once in your life,
you done something good.

There is gold! Say there is!

-No, Merry Florene,
you don't understand.

-What I understand is,

nobody could be so mean as to

make people to work in this here
town for a whole week!

Of course there's gold,
I've seen it!

You showed it to me
Cousin Smiley.

-Merry Florene, shut up!

-I'm telling you,
there's no gold!

There ain't!

-Their horse is right there,
Matthew.

-Just how it was.

Just that little ol' itty bitty
bit of gold made everybody

-believe everything.
-He's right.

-I've never heard such a story
in all my life.

-And I don't believe it.

-And me a school teacher.

I won't ever be able
to face Mr. Newly again

and maybe him thinking
me and Grandma be in on it.

-Stack of Bibles couldn't
convince me you two don't know

where the gold is.

Now you got one minute
to fetch it on up here

or little sister
gets the worst of it.

-You mean we can leave?

-We'll be right back with gold.

Right back!

[ Both laughing ]

-Come on!

-Hold it right there!

Drop the guns.

Go on, drop them.

Get your hands up.

All right, let's go.

-What's going on?

-Well, uh, there it is, Marshal.

Every penny that --

that the townspeople paid us.

-We don't want none of it.

-No, no, and,

uh, we want you to know,

Marshal, that, uh, we was,

uh, just testing security
and all that.

You know,
like --like you'd say,

sending that dirt
on the gold stage.

-Now hold on
just a minute here.

What about all these bills
you been running up in town?

-We're gonna pay them,
every one.

-Someday.
-Eh, not someday.

You're gonna start today.

-Uh, well -- Well, we --

we ain't got no job.

-Well, I'm gonna
give you boys a choice.

You either go out
and find yourselves some jobs

and start
paying these people back,

or you can spend your time
waiting for Judge Brooker

in a jail cell here.

-We still gonna
have to see the judge?

-Monday morning,

and you better take my advice

that if you want him to be
in a good mood,

you go out
and get yourselves some jobs.

-Oh, Marshal, maybe you
might be interested in buying

-some good town lots, cheap.
-Oh, yeah.

There's a whole bunch of them
right down on the --

on the other side --

-What about Etta?

If you got yourself
a new pair of boots,

you could probably dance.

-I don't give a hoot
about dancing,

and I don't give a hoot
about Etta neither.

-Mr. Newly,
you just won't never guess.

-What's that?

-Well, you know Miss Akmons,
the --

the regular school teacher?

Well, she done took sick.

And they be saying
that I can teach them childrens

till she gets well.

-Well, I think that's right
nice, Merry Florene.

-And you know what else?

Well, the -- them childrens

got this class
they call the kindi-garten.

And, um, they saying that
that might be a real nice job

for a beginning teacher.

-Well, I think that sounds like
a real fine opportunity, Merry.

-And you know what that means?

Means I can stay here in Dodge,

and you won't have to go
traveling all around the country

to spark me.

Well, I-I gots to go,

but I just wanted to tell you
the good news.

Um, Mr. Newly,

you can just pick me up at
that schoolhouse any old time.

Goodbye!

-Newly, ain't I been hearing
that that there school teacher,

Miss Akmons,

is a little bit sweet on you?

-Not that I know.

-Well, I've heared a lot
of folks

say that she's really got
her eyeball peeled right on you.

-Right now, I got my eye peeled
on a lot of work I'm behind in.

-Whoo!

Two school teachers
sweet on ol' Newly.

Sure am glad it ain't me.

That's enough to boggle
a man's brain.

Just make you want fuss
and beller

and throw
a regular conniption fit.

-Stay tuned for scenes
from next week's "Gunsmoke."

♪