All language subtitles for Gunsmoke.S14E04.Uncle.Finney.720p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-DarkSaber_iris2_track3_[und]

♪♪

-Starring James Arness
as Matt Dillon.

♪♪

-[ Snoring ]

-Well, still got it for rent.

♪♪

-When a box gets signed for,
it be full of money.

♪♪

-[ Snoring ]

-Well, Doc, when two foreigners
get to arguing, why,

you try to get them separated
before it get into a ruckus.

Don't you understand?
-Why, ya --

ya try to use a little reason
before you bang heads together.

You can catch more flies
with honey, you know.

-Who in the tarnation
wants a whole mess

of flies stuck in honey?

You shoo flies away.

You just don't deliberately
give them sweet --

-Never mind. Never mind.
I'm sorry I said anything.

Never mind.

-Looky here.

Looks like we're getting paid
the honor

of another visit from them
Prime Ridge runners again.

-Uh, we're looking
for the marshal, not no sass.

-Well, the marshal ain't here.

He's went to Abilene
for a spell.

Now, what can I do for ya

besides show you
the quickest road out of town?

-That deputy ain't changed a bit
in being quite unsociable.

-Now, I'm asking you what
you're doing here in Dodge City.

Answer me.
-Bringing us in a wanted man.

-He got a bounty on him.
-The bounty's worth $50.

Now when can we get it?
-[ Snoring ]

-What's he wanted for?

-Horse stealing.

Well, of course, it's been a few
years back since it happened.

I guess the bounty
still be good.

-Now, how long's it gonna
take us to get that money?

-Wait a minute.

He must be 85 or 90 years old.

-Well, he's 103.

He'll be 104 come next week.

That Uncle Finney, he's never
been strong on figures.

-Uncle?
-Can we get that money today?

-Hold on a minute.

You mean to tell me
that he's your uncle,

and you're gonna turn him in
for $50?

-We trying to stay law-abiding.

-That's right.

-Now, the horse he stole,
he's sitting on.

That'd be the evidence
that he be guilty,

if you figured
there'd be a question.

Now, of course, this horse
looked a whole lot better

when he was stole.

That must've been about,
what, 12, 14 years ago.

-There won't be no hitch to get
that bounty, let me tell you.

-Now, hold on. Hold on.

-I mean, we can cut off --
-Just hush your mouth a minute!

Hush up.

Probably got a grandpa
up in the hills

they'd turn in
for a bottle of whiskey.

-Hmm.

-Right here. Uncle Finney.

Uncle Finney!

We be here.
-Huh?

-Where at the Dodge jail,
Uncle Finney!

We're gonna turn you over
to the law!

-[ Groans ]

-Come on, Uncle Finney, now.

Easy does it, now.

Easy.

There you are.

♪♪

-I'm thirsty.

-Don't you worry, Uncle Finney.

We're gonna take care of that
just as soon as we can get

this bounty business settled.

-Come on.

Don't walk too fast,
Uncle Finney, now.

You'll get them leg cramps
again.

Easy.

-Doc?

-Don't look at me.

You're the big deputy
of the United States marshal

around here.

♪♪

♪♪

-Well, here it is. Right here.

$50 reward for information

leading to the arrest
of person or persons unknown

stealing a plow horse
from the Anderson farm.

Uh, brand mark is Bar A.

-That'd be the one.

How long we take
to get our money?

-Oh, money. Money!

That's the onliest things
you two got in your head.

Ain't you got no feeling
for your Uncle Finney here?

-Well, Uncle Finney don't mind

straightening things out
before he meets his maker.

Now, when can we
get us that money?

-It's Matthew.

The marshal gets
to give you the reward,

if you got any coming,
when he gets back.

-You acting for the marshal.

Don't seem right
you ain't paying us.

-Right.

Now, why don't you just
give us a piece of paper

that says we got
that money coming to us?

-Well, because I --
-Oh, you have to.

You got -- It's the law.

You -- You have to
write out a receipt.

-All right, Doc! All right.

You know how busy I am.

Gets to running around
like a jug full of ants.

Then these two knotheads
come in here.

And I -- I'll tell you,

it just ain't natural,
even for a skunk or a polecat,

to turn in his own kinfolk
for a few measly dollars.

-[ Snoring ]

-Maybe you fellas

ought to come back
and pick up this here paper.

-What is the matter with now?

-Yes. Why not just --

-Well, golly bill, Doc.

You -- you forward just
can't sit down and --

and write out one of these here
legal documents, like they say,

without a-thinking about
what it's gonna lead.

-Just say we got $50 coming.

-Wait a minute here.
Just a minute.

As a matter of simple curiosity,

what do you plan to do
with the $50?

-Well, we're gonna open
a saloon in Dodge.

Need it for rent money.

-A sa-- In Dodge? For $50?

-Well, it ain't gonna be
nothing fancy.

We is gonna have us
some corn whiskey

that we got a good stock of
up in them hills.

-Well, Doc, I'm getting
a little touch of that ague

back in my hand again.
-Yeah.

Come back on ya

because of all the documents
you've had to write.

Ah, well. All right.
I'll do it for you.

-Much obliged, Doc.

Now, where you gonna be
putting your Uncle Finney up at?

-Putting up?

-Well, of course!
He can't stay here in jail.

-Well, now, wait a minute.

If you want to put Uncle Finney
up in a hotel,

that's gonna be
your own problem.

-There ain't never no prisoners
gets put up at the hotel.

-There's a couple of things
to keep in mind

about Uncle Finney.

See, he sleeps most every day.

Ain't awake but an hour.
That's when he gets his bottle.

-Bottle?

You mean he gets milk fed?

-Whiskey.

-He ain't missed a bottle a day
since he's knee-high,

the way he tells it.

Maybe that's been
keeping him alive.

-All right, Festus. Here.
You got to sign it.

-Just go on and sign it, Doc.

-No. You're the deputy marshal.

You've got to sign it.

-[ Snoring ]

-Smart aleck.

Now, who's going to be a-buying
this bottle of whiskey every day

for your Uncle Finney here?

-That kind of be
the law's problem.

-Well, you expect --

They're expecting me to buy
a bottle of whiskey every day

and bring it in here
to a prisoner.

-Well, certainly.

You've got to keep him alive
and in good health.

That's the law.
It's your duty.

And if -- if that's what's been
keeping Uncle Finney alive,

then that's where ya --
We got to continue.

-[ Snoring ]

♪♪

-Golly, I don't know.

I think maybe I better
check him over first.

You get him into bed.
I'll go get my bag.

-Uncle Finney?
-[ Snoring ]

-Uncle Finney?
-[ Snoring stops ]

-Time to go to bed.

Easy now. Easy now.

Get your balance.

That's it.

-Would you please hurry?

-Well, yes, ma'am.

Thank you.
Have a nice day, ma'am.

-Hey, we renting the place
across from the freight office.

Who we supposed to talk to?

-Mr. Bodkin.

These two gentlemen
wish to see you, sir.

-What is this?

-Well, uh,

that there's money we got coming
to us from the marshal's office.

Uh, we -- we --
we need us some credit

until we can get the cash money.

-Well, I don't think
we can do business like this.

-Well, that place for rent
or ain't it...sir?

-Last time we were in town,

we found out that the bank
owned that building.

And, uh, it was 12...

-12.
-Yeah.

$12 a month to rent,
somebody said.

-Well, that's true.
It is for sale or lease, but --

-$50 cash we got coming.

Now, if it don't come through,
well,

you ain't gonna lose much anyway

because that building's
just been standing there.

-Well, I agree with you.
It has been idle for months.

All right.

Let's say the first of next week
is your first payment.

-We got us a business deal.
-Thank you!

♪♪

-Elbert Moses! Roland Daniel!

♪♪

What you all done
with Uncle Finney?

-Now, what makes you think
we done anything with him?

-'Cause I come home
and he be gone,

and a whole bunch of folks told
me they seen you toting him off.

Now, where is he?

-Will you just take it easy,
girl?

-You all done plumb
lost your mind for some --

Where's Uncle Finney?!
-He's real safe now.

May be asleep if your hollering
ain't waking him up.

-And when you two get out
of that county work farm?

You escape or something?

-Um, a month early.
The called it good behaving.

-Oh, poo!

You ain't never done one second
of good behavior

in your whole life!
Now what you done --

-I thought I told you
to quit your howling, girl!

Look here!

-[ Snoring ]

-Incredible.
-What is, Doc?

-Well...him ticking away
like a fine watch.

-He don't look like there's
six ticks left in him.

Does he?
-[ Chuckles ]

-Where's the bottle?

-Right away, Uncle Finney.

-Well, Doc, that's...

-There might be better ways
of staying healthy, I guess,

but in this case,

I'd strongly suggest
that we just don't disturb

the delicate balance
of nature or whatever it is.

Get him his whiskey.

-You done what?
-I told you.

We turned in Uncle Finney
for the $50 reward on him.

-Now, don't get excited.

We ain't gonna leave him
in jail.

-But we need the $50
to get started in town.

-Started doing what?

-We gonna open us up a saloon

right across the street
from the freight office.

But we ain't gonna be running
no saloon.

[ Chuckles ]
You know what we gonna do?

We gonna dig us a tunnel

right under the street
and into the freight office.

And when the time's right,
we gonna rob it.

-Y'all done plumb
lost your minds.

-You keep your talk down.
You'd be losing something.

-And what about Uncle Finney?

-Never mind Uncle Finney.

We're gonna set him free before
we head off for California.

-I ain't gonna let you do it.
I'm --

-Now, you just hold on.
-Get back down.

-Now, number one, missy,

we wouldn't leave an inch of you
not turned blue.

And number two, you better stop
to think about Uncle Finney.

They hang horse thieves.

-They can't hang Uncle Finney.
He's too old to hang.

-They hang a horse thief.

They ain't gonna make
no difference

account of a man's age.

That wouldn't be fair.

-So you just better
watch your mouth, girl.

Now, we leave for California,

and we gonna set
Uncle Finney free.

Now, if we don't leave
for California,

which means you been
talking to the law,

you just might be seeing Uncle
Finney just taken right up there

to that hanging scaffold.

Now, find yourself a place to
stay over at the boarding house.

Tonight, you're gonna be
working in our saloon.

-I ain't working in no saloon.

-You do like we say,

or we'll leave Uncle Finney
where he's at.

They'll hang him proper.

-And I'll be getting a couple
licks in, myself, missy.

Now get.
-Go on.

-Morning, Sam.

-Hi, Festus.

-I'll take a bottle
of your whiskey

when you can get around
to it, Sam.

-All right.

-So early in the morning,
Festus?

-Well, Miss Kitty, this --
this here ain't for me.

It -- it's...Well, it's for
a prisoner we got.

-Oh.

Changing jail procedure
a little bit

while Matt's out of town, huh?

-No, ma'am.
It ain't that at all.

It's -- it's --
it's just that...

Well, it's that
it's hard to explain.

That's what it is.

Just put that on the tally book
for the marshal's office.

Thank you.

-Hey!
That there for Uncle Finney?

-That's who it's for.

-This regular saloon whiskey?

-What kind of whiskey ya expect
to come out of a saloon?

-Well, dollar whiskey
can't compare

to what Uncle Finney's
been used to.

He's been getting the finest,
triple-distilled, extra-special,

hand-strained corn whiskey
there is.

-I mean,
you mistreat Uncle Finney,

and he's liable
to curl up his toes

and quit breathing on ya.

-Well,
since when is buying whiskey

for somebody mistreating them?

-Hey, barkeep,
you got any special whiskey

for people
that don't care about the price?

-Don't get --
-We've got some

for $2 a bottle, even $3.
-All right.

Let me have one of them
$3 bottles right here.

Well, you -- you expecting
the jail to furnish $3 whiskey

for a jailbird? Well, that's --

-We're just looking out
for Uncle Finney's health.

- Well, he'd ought to be
healthier with you --

-How's that set with you,
Elbert?

-Passable.

Better keep a good stock
of this stuff because we don't

know how long Uncle Finney
is going to be in jail.

-Uncle Finney will be satisfied.

-Well, I'd be satisfied myself
if I was in his place.

Never seen such a pair
of knotheads in all my...

-What you charging, ma'am?
-Two bit shot.

Every third drink's
on the house.

-Fair enough.

Do you keep books?

-Huh?

-I generally charge my drinks.

-We go on cash.

-Oh.

-Put them jugs on the shelf.

-Roland Daniel.

-Cut that out.

-Ain't too late
for you to change your mind

about that freight office.

Now you's just aching to get
yourself thrown back in jail.

-You shut up.

Now get back
and tend to your customers.

Go on.

-You doing a mighty fine job
of digging, brother Elbert.

-Well...man digging for gold,
he don't fool around none.

-Just ain't that the truth?

Hey, get that big rock there,
Elbert.

Get that out,
and you'd make some time.

-That one?
-There.

Lift her up.

That's good. That's good.
Hold her.

Mm.

Mighty fine. That's good.

Now, you can dig right there.

♪♪

-Morning, Merry Florene.

-Morning, Mr. Festus.

Uh, I was wondering
if I could could visit my uncle.

It be about his waking time now.

-Well, of course you can.
Come on in.

See, I don't never lock him up
in his cell at all.

-You don't never
lock these doors at all?

-No, ma'am.
Of course, it's Doc's idea.

But I got to agree with him.

See, this a-way,
it gives Uncle Finney a chance

to stretch his legs
and kind of move around.

Don't you see?

So you just go ahead on, now,

and jaw with him as long
as you want to.

-I oblige you, Mr. Festus.
-You're welcome.

-Mr. Festus, what you reckon
they'll do with Uncle Finney?

-Oh, a little jail time,
I reckon.

That's about all.

-He ain't got much time left.

-Well, a judge
will keep it in his head

'bout Uncle Finney being so old

and that he ain't never
did nothing wrong

outside of stealing that horse.

-Ain't never did nothing wrong?

-Well, he ain't, has he?

-No. He ain't.

-Well, ain't ought to
fret your head at all about it.

-Uncle Finney?
You wake up now, you hear?

-Huh?

Merry Florene.

-Uncle Finney, we gots to talk
about getting you out of here.

-Something wrong where we be?

-Uncle Finney, them brothers
of mine be up to mischief.

And it won't be
to your advantage

when you face the judge,

might even think
you be in on it.

Uncle Finney, they's digging
a tunnel into the freight office

and robbing it
when the time be right,

they said.
-Yeah.

Kind of take after
the wrong side of the family,

them nephews of mine.

-Uncle Finney,
I gots it figured out.

Now, you don't drink no more
and maybe keep awake.

And we can be escaping from here
anytime after dark

and get you hided in them hills.

-Got a real good jail here.

Them hills get too nippy
for these old bones.

-Uncle Finney, what if folks say

you get strung up
like a horse thief?

-Oh, I get a mite tired
with all this hard thinking.

You come back in a little time,
Merry Florene,

talk again about it.

-Uncle Finney.

-Merry Florene?

It's been a spell.

-It has been abouts a year.

-What have you been

doing with yourself
since the last time I saw you?

-I've been getting
myself some schooling.

-Schooling? You mean you've been
going to school?

-I've been schooling myself.

I teached myself to read this
here book called an almanac.

And I found nary a word
I couldn't understand almost.

-[ Chuckles ] Well, that's
real good, Merry Florene.

-I...Even, uh, spelling
come kind of natural to me.

I mean, a word
sounds like it is, or most.

-Well, I'll tell ya something,
there's nothing like schooling.

-You ain't asking me yet
how come I been going

through trouble and stuff
to learn readings and writings.

-Well, the same as anybody else.

I mean, the more you know, uh,
about reading and writing,

the better you are.

-I had myself
a special reason -- you.

[ Chuckles ]

I -- I figured I'd come back
to Dodge more a lady

so you wouldn't be ashamed
to court me none.

-If you're looking
for the marshal, he's gone.

-I know.

I was just visiting
with my Uncle Finney.

-Your Uncle Finney? In jail?

-[ Sighs ]
It's kind of a long story.

-Now, wait a minute.
It wouldn't have something

to do with those two brothers
of yours, would it?

Just what are they up to now?
-Nothing.

I mean, they just
opened up their own saloon.

-Saloon?

-You come by for a drink,
Mr. Newly.

Bye, Mr. Newly.

-A saloon?

♪♪

[ Bell clanging ]

-Somebody's at the front.

-We ought to put us up a sign

that says we ain't gonna be open
for business until nights.

-Oh, um...um, morning, Marshal.

-Just figured I'd pay you boys
a little visit

and see
how your new business is going.

-Well, we's, um,

working in the back
and making it livable.

Maybe we can buy you a drink
to celebrate our opening.

-Well, if it's customary.

-That's, uh, that's empty.

-Did you boys find out

that you're profiting
with your business, are you?

[ Shovel scraping ]

-Hoo!

Hey!

Oh!

Ooh! [ Chuckles ]

Got the -- got the morning
tingles in my leg.

Start taking your first toast,
Marshal.

-Uh, say,

I haven't saw your brother
around much lately.

-Elbert.
Uh, Elbert sleeps a lot.

-That there a bedroom
you're building back there,

is it?

-Just a living place,
like I said.

You ready for a second, Marshal?

-No. No more. No.

I got to get on
about my business.

-You can come back any time,
you hear?

You come on in, and, uh,

you have a drink any time,
on the house.

Any time you -- Your money
ain't no good here.

Uh, so you just step in, uh,

just any time you want...
a free drink.

Stop in any time.

-Giddyap. Giddyap!

-I want to talk to you boys.

-Come on.

-I wants to talk to you boys.

-Oh, you said that.

-Well, looky here.

Made about $6.

-Where'd you get that $6?
-Yeah.

Where'd you get that?
-In yonder.

Y'all's making money
in the saloon business.

You don't have to be
robbing no freight office.

-Done real good, Merry Florene.

-It weren't me done it.

That's the way of business.

Y'all's could be respectable
and earn yourself a good living.

Dynamite?

-Well,
why don't you yell it louder?

-Y'all's dynamiting dirt?
-No, we ain't.

For the safe in that place
when we get ready.

-Pop them old iron doors off
like they be tin.

-But dynamite will bring
the whole town running.

Y'all wouldn't have no chance
getting out of here.

-Who says we're leaving?
[ Laughs ]

-The posse be out chasing
their tails, we'll be back here.

They'll be looking for somebody
who rode off with the money.

Now, why don't you go on
and tend to your customers?

[ Laughs ]

-Y'all don't want to just think
about doing real good

in the saloon business?

-We figure we can do it
better and faster.

Huh? [ Laughs ]
Now, go. Get out of here.

-Go on. Move.
-Go on. Move.

-Y'all ain't never done nothing
right your whole life!

-What's the matter with her?

-Oh, it's that old gunsmith
fella that she got her sweet on.

-How far you figure
we'd be under the street?

-I don't know.
I ain't figured it.

-It's time we did.

Maybe closer we think,
the way you been burrowing.

Tell you what, Elbert.
I've got me a plan.

I'll go out front and stomp.

You hit back with the shovel
when you hear me.

-All right.
-All right.

♪♪

-Them tingles coming morning
andnight now.

-Maybe you ought to go and have
old Doc take a look at it.

-Yeah, might just do that.
Thank you.

♪♪

-Just thought us Haggens
had a batch of odd ones,

but this here outfit...
[Chuckles]

♪♪

-Merry Florene.

-Hi, Mr. Newly.
-Wait a minute.

Is something wrong?
-Little something.

-It is your uncle?

Well, I can understand that.

I was talking to Festus
the other day,

and he told me
he's over 100 years old.

-He is. He'll be 104 next week.

-Well,
just don't worry about it.

They'll be letting him out soon.

-Not according to Roland Daniel
and Elbert Moses, they won't.

-Well, don't pay any attention
to those two.

They don't know
what they're talking about.

Merry Florene, there's something
I'd like to ask you.

There's a picnic
this Sunday afternoon,

and I was wondering
if you'd like to go with me.

-Can't go, Mr. Newly.

I -- I'm obliged you asking me,
but I can't go.

I gots to do my chores now.

♪♪

[ Horse neighs ]

-Roland, we in trouble!
-Well, get out!

[ Chatter ]

-I don't know.

-I don't know. What is it?
[ Chatter continues ]

-What in the tarnation
happened here?

-Well, what kind of streets
you got in this town, anyways?

-Looks like you
plumb broke down.

-Well, I ain't never heard
of a street falling in before.

-You know,
it's just pure old amazing.

Now, here's ground that stood
for no telling how long.

Even buffalo would --
-All right.

A couple of you men,
we need a muscle here.

Maybe we can get the wheel out.
-Yeah.

Just a get hold of here,
you fellers.

Everybody get together.

-We got it!
-All right.

We'll take care of you
in just a second.

We got it.
[ Chatter ]

-We got to dump it in there,
Elbert.

-Wait a minute. Wait a minute!

Don't put that dirt in! Wait!
Hold on, now.

Don't do that
until we get it out.

Wait until we get the wagon out.

Put down your shovel
and get a hold here.

Everybody. Ladies, get back.
Come on. Get a hold here.

Let's get it out. Ready, steed.

[ Grunts ]

-Might have been an earthquake.

Fact is, me and Elbert
heard something a while ago.

Sounded just like a earthquake.

-Yeah. We sure did. Sounded
exactly like an earthquake.

-We don't want nobody
breaking their leg

on the way to our saloon.

-Me and Roland Daniel always
kind of been

like good Samaritans.

-Just make sure
you tamp that down good, now.

If you're gonna do it,
do it right.

♪♪

-I told you we should have
used some wood down there.

-All right. We'll do it now.
Let's get it finished.

♪♪

-Right smack in the back room.

I think gold time, Elbert Moses.

-You sure got a good right arm.

There she be.

-I wonder
what's all these goods.

-Just things
folks be sending about.

Now, where's your manners?

Don't worry about what folks
be sending.

-Just want to have
a little look-see.

-Go on. Get.

-I can practically hear
that money

talking right through the iron.

-It's saying, "California.
California. California.

You boys come ahead and just sit
in the sun from now on."

-Get that in there real good.
-Yeah.

-All right.

-Let's get.

-Here. Here.

-And I figure we ain't
got no more than a minute

to get in here from the back
room, get that money,

get back in the tunnel.

It ain't gonna take no longer
than that for somebody

to come running over here.

-Show me color of money,
and a minute's all I need.

[ Both chuckle ]

-It ain't locked?

Get it out!

♪♪

-Ain't nothing.

-Been patient, brother Roland,
just like Dad say.

-Waiting for a strong box,
something getting signed for.

-To them who waits...

That's Bible reading
Grandpa Elihu used to spout.

-I don't think
the Bible exactly apply here.

Come on.
Let's get this stuff back.

We got to figure a way
to fix them boards back there

so nobody know
we cut our way in.

Let's go.

♪♪

-No doubt
what's in that safe tonight.

♪♪

-Merry Florene.

-Howdy, Miss Kitty.

Um, Miss Kitty,
I was gonna ask you about,

um, about, um...
Miss Kitty, I sure --

I sure wish I was a little bit
like you, I mean,

everything going along
kind of smooth, um, you know,

and, um, kind of right
and everything and, um...

Maybe I don't know what I mean.

-You sound like you might be
in some kind of trouble again.

Is it those brothers of yours?

-I guess I better sort of
take care of it myself.

-If there's anything
I can do to help you,

you be sure and let me know.
-Yes, ma'am.

-Look, Doc, somebody sent this.
-Yeah. I know. I know.

I know you got something there
you want me to help you with.

I don't know why in thunder you
don't learn to read and write.

It's not that hard.
-Well...

-Well, it's not at all.

'Course, you first
would have to prove

that you're smarter
than your mule.

And that might be
a little difficult.

-Ha ha!
Mr. Feisty Britches,

it just so happens I done know
what's in this here letter,

and your help ain't needed.

So just go roll yourself a pill.

-I will.

-One of these days,
when I do learn how to write,

I'm gonna write you some reading

that'll just
curl your old mustache.

Billy goat.

-You boys don't have to do this.

-You go on to school
with your gunsmith fella

and save your advice, missy.

[ Horse neighs ]

-What you two doing here?

-You ain't taking what's ours.

♪♪

-It could blow at any second.

♪♪

-Watch that step, now.

-Here. What -- what -- what --

-You was supposed to be
someplace else.

-Where at?
-The freight office.

-Freight office?

-I wroted you a note saying
it was gonna be robbed for sure.

I didn't want to tell
on my kinfolk, but I done it.

♪♪

-What was that?
-Mr. Festus!

-The express office!

-They be crawling back through
the tunnel to the saloon.

-Tunnel?
-Over to the freight office.

-Much obliged.

-You might as well sit down,
Uncle Finney.

We ain't going no place.
-[ Groans ]

-Get some water!

♪♪

-Let's go.

♪♪

-All right. I got you.

-Get your dirty hands
off our money.

-I ought to blow you away
to Sunday.

-What's going on there?

[ Chatter ]

-Is anybody in there?
-Come on!

♪♪

-Well, you boys
sure deserve a vote of thanks

and maybe a little reward
from the freight company.

-I know these two.

They're the Clayven boys.
Thank you, Elbert.

-Yeah.

-Mr. Colton.

He'll be happy to hear
about this,

you boys getting these robbers.

♪♪

-Come on.

♪♪

-We wasn't thinking about
no reward -- reward or nothing.

We just, uh, we kind of keep
our eyes peeled around town

to be a help and such.

-It runs in our family.

You know,
watch out for the folks.

-Oh, yeah.

Like filling in holes in
the street and stuff like that.

-These are the two fellas
that deserve the town's thanks,

Festus.
-Oh, of course, Burke.

They're real deserving.

Here. I'll take that.

Fact is, uh, we're fixing
to have us a little talk,

me and these two
deserving fellers.

Go ahead.

-It's no use, Uncle Finney.
We'll all be put in jail now.

-I got to hand it
to those brothers of
yours, Merry Florene.

They caught these two thieves
red-handed.

-There ain't no law
against digging tunnels.

-We come up accidental-like
in that freight office.

-Yeah. Digging for gold
is what we was doing.

-Yeah, and you puttin'
you got your grubby fingers

on some too, didn't you?

-That'd be pure supposing.

-I mean,
you can't prove nothing.

-Oh, wait just a minute.

Get up here
where I can talk to you.

Now, what do you two got to bet
against 5 or 10 years

behind jail bars
that I ain't proving nothing?

All right, then.

Now, I'll tell you
what you're going to do first.

You're gonna go to work,

and you're going to fill up
that tunnel that you dug.

And if there are a reward
coming from that freight office,

you are gonna turn
that over to the school

because they got yourselves
a little fundraising

going on right now.

-You're asking us
to give money away?

-We was brought up different.
-All right.

To jail right --
-Hold up.

Wait. Wait.
We can talk about it.

-Hey, talk.
-All right.

I'll tell you something else
we'll talk about, too.

That's both of ya
getting out of town.

And the next time you set foot
in Dodge City again,

you're gonna be right back
on that county work farm

where you'd ought to have been
all the time.

Now, get!

-Hurry up!

-Oh, Mr. Deputy...

You be a hard man.

-You betcha I'm a hard man.

♪♪

You set foot in this town again,

I'll get on you
like ugly on an ape.

-Well, here's to you,
Uncle Finney.

-To Uncle Finney.
-Here's to ya, Uncle Finney.

-Would you look at that cake?
Boy.

[ Chatter ]
Look at that.

-Yeah.

-You gonna blow out
your candles, Uncle Finney?

-Yeah. [ Breathing heavily ]

-Hold on here. Hold on.

Just a minute, Uncle Finney.
Now, I tell you,

I think we all ought to
kind of pitch in here

and help Uncle Finney
a little now. Let's...

[ Laughter ]

-You know,
in all the years in Dodge,

I can't remember anybody
passing the hundred mark.

Can you, Doc?
-No.

I swear I can't. I can't --
I can't -- No, I can't.

-I know somebody
that's knocking at the door.

-Oh, my God.

-[ Laughs ] What I want to know
is, what does a man think

about reaching 104 years of age?

-Eh, what?
-Reaching 104 years of age.

-What do you think about?
-Think about?

-We'll, you've been places
and done things

that we've only read about
in the history books.

-Well, young feller,
I'll tell you...

what I think about.

What I think about is...

[ Sighs ]

Well...

What I think about
is reaching 105.

[ Laughter ]

-Is that you?
-Hello, Festus.

-You got here just in time.
-What's going on?

-We got us a party
going on in there.

Miss Kitty -- she baked a cake.

-Somebody's birthday?
-Uncle Finney.

He ain't my uncle,

but he's 104 years old today,
Matthew,

and he's a horse thief.

♪♪

Fact is,
we owe a $50 reward on him.

-What?

-Well, Matthew, it's going to
take a little while to tell it.

Why don't we go in yonder

and glom up on some
of that cream-and-sugar cake

before it gets all gone?

-Yeah. Sounds like a good idea.

Also, it sounds like
you've been having

kind of an interesting time here
while I've been gone.

-Well, you could say that,
Matthew,

but you know me.

I keep my eyeball
on everything in this town.

Ain't nothing...

♪♪

-Stay tuned for scenes
from next week's "Gunsmoke."

♪♪