Original subtitles

♪♪

-Starring James Arness as Matt Dillon.

♪♪

-[ Snoring ]

-Well, still got it for rent.

♪♪

-When a box gets signed for, it be full of money.

♪♪

-[ Snoring ]

-Well, Doc, when two foreigners get to arguing, why,

you try to get them separated before it get into a ruckus.

Don't you understand? -Why, ya --

ya try to use a little reason before you bang heads together.

You can catch more flies with honey, you know.

-Who in the tarnation wants a whole mess

of flies stuck in honey?

You shoo flies away.

You just don't deliberately give them sweet --

-Never mind. Never mind. I'm sorry I said anything.

Never mind.

-Looky here.

Looks like we're getting paid the honor

of another visit from them Prime Ridge runners again.

-Uh, we're looking for the marshal, not no sass.

-Well, the marshal ain't here.

He's went to Abilene for a spell.

Now, what can I do for ya

besides show you the quickest road out of town?

-That deputy ain't changed a bit in being quite unsociable.

-Now, I'm asking you what you're doing here in Dodge City.

Answer me. -Bringing us in a wanted man.

-He got a bounty on him. -The bounty's worth $50.

Now when can we get it? -[ Snoring ]

-What's he wanted for?

-Horse stealing.

Well, of course, it's been a few years back since it happened.

I guess the bounty still be good.

-Now, how long's it gonna take us to get that money?

-Wait a minute.

He must be 85 or 90 years old.

-Well, he's 103.

He'll be 104 come next week.

That Uncle Finney, he's never been strong on figures.

-Uncle? -Can we get that money today?

-Hold on a minute.

You mean to tell me that he's your uncle,

and you're gonna turn him in for $50?

-We trying to stay law-abiding.

-That's right.

-Now, the horse he stole, he's sitting on.

That'd be the evidence that he be guilty,

if you figured there'd be a question.

Now, of course, this horse looked a whole lot better

when he was stole.

That must've been about, what, 12, 14 years ago.

-There won't be no hitch to get that bounty, let me tell you.

-Now, hold on. Hold on.

-I mean, we can cut off -- -Just hush your mouth a minute!

Hush up.

Probably got a grandpa up in the hills

they'd turn in for a bottle of whiskey.

-Hmm.

-Right here. Uncle Finney.

Uncle Finney!

We be here. -Huh?

-Where at the Dodge jail, Uncle Finney!

We're gonna turn you over to the law!

-[ Groans ]

-Come on, Uncle Finney, now.

Easy does it, now.

Easy.

There you are.

♪♪

-I'm thirsty.

-Don't you worry, Uncle Finney.

We're gonna take care of that just as soon as we can get

this bounty business settled.

-Come on.

Don't walk too fast, Uncle Finney, now.

You'll get them leg cramps again.

Easy.

-Doc?

-Don't look at me.

You're the big deputy of the United States marshal

around here.

♪♪

♪♪

-Well, here it is. Right here.

$50 reward for information

leading to the arrest of person or persons unknown

stealing a plow horse from the Anderson farm.

Uh, brand mark is Bar A.

-That'd be the one.

How long we take to get our money?

-Oh, money. Money!

That's the onliest things you two got in your head.

Ain't you got no feeling for your Uncle Finney here?

-Well, Uncle Finney don't mind

straightening things out before he meets his maker.

Now, when can we get us that money?

-It's Matthew.

The marshal gets to give you the reward,

if you got any coming, when he gets back.

-You acting for the marshal.

Don't seem right you ain't paying us.

-Right.

Now, why don't you just give us a piece of paper

that says we got that money coming to us?

-Well, because I -- -Oh, you have to.

You got -- It's the law.

You -- You have to write out a receipt.

-All right, Doc! All right.

You know how busy I am.

Gets to running around like a jug full of ants.

Then these two knotheads come in here.

And I -- I'll tell you,

it just ain't natural, even for a skunk or a polecat,

to turn in his own kinfolk for a few measly dollars.

-[ Snoring ]

-Maybe you fellas

ought to come back and pick up this here paper.

-What is the matter with now?

-Yes. Why not just --

-Well, golly bill, Doc.

You -- you forward just can't sit down and --

and write out one of these here legal documents, like they say,

without a-thinking about what it's gonna lead.

-Just say we got $50 coming.

-Wait a minute here. Just a minute.

As a matter of simple curiosity,

what do you plan to do with the $50?

-Well, we're gonna open a saloon in Dodge.

Need it for rent money.

-A sa-- In Dodge? For $50?

-Well, it ain't gonna be nothing fancy.

We is gonna have us some corn whiskey

that we got a good stock of up in them hills.

-Well, Doc, I'm getting a little touch of that ague

back in my hand again. -Yeah.

Come back on ya

because of all the documents you've had to write.

Ah, well. All right. I'll do it for you.

-Much obliged, Doc.

Now, where you gonna be putting your Uncle Finney up at?

-Putting up?

-Well, of course! He can't stay here in jail.

-Well, now, wait a minute.

If you want to put Uncle Finney up in a hotel,

that's gonna be your own problem.

-There ain't never no prisoners gets put up at the hotel.

-There's a couple of things to keep in mind

about Uncle Finney.

See, he sleeps most every day.

Ain't awake but an hour. That's when he gets his bottle.

-Bottle?

You mean he gets milk fed?

-Whiskey.

-He ain't missed a bottle a day since he's knee-high,

the way he tells it.

Maybe that's been keeping him alive.

-All right, Festus. Here. You got to sign it.

-Just go on and sign it, Doc.

-No. You're the deputy marshal.

You've got to sign it.

-[ Snoring ]

-Smart aleck.

Now, who's going to be a-buying this bottle of whiskey every day

for your Uncle Finney here?

-That kind of be the law's problem.

-Well, you expect --

They're expecting me to buy a bottle of whiskey every day

and bring it in here to a prisoner.

-Well, certainly.

You've got to keep him alive and in good health.

That's the law. It's your duty.

And if -- if that's what's been keeping Uncle Finney alive,

then that's where ya -- We got to continue.

-[ Snoring ]

♪♪

-Golly, I don't know.

I think maybe I better check him over first.

You get him into bed. I'll go get my bag.

-Uncle Finney? -[ Snoring ]

-Uncle Finney? -[ Snoring stops ]

-Time to go to bed.

Easy now. Easy now.

Get your balance.

That's it.

-Would you please hurry?

-Well, yes, ma'am.

Thank you. Have a nice day, ma'am.

-Hey, we renting the place across from the freight office.

Who we supposed to talk to?

-Mr. Bodkin.

These two gentlemen wish to see you, sir.

-What is this?

-Well, uh,

that there's money we got coming to us from the marshal's office.

Uh, we -- we -- we need us some credit

until we can get the cash money.

-Well, I don't think we can do business like this.

-Well, that place for rent or ain't it...sir?

-Last time we were in town,

we found out that the bank owned that building.

And, uh, it was 12...

-12. -Yeah.

$12 a month to rent, somebody said.

-Well, that's true. It is for sale or lease, but --

-$50 cash we got coming.

Now, if it don't come through, well,

you ain't gonna lose much anyway

because that building's just been standing there.

-Well, I agree with you. It has been idle for months.

All right.

Let's say the first of next week is your first payment.

-We got us a business deal. -Thank you!

♪♪

-Elbert Moses! Roland Daniel!

♪♪

What you all done with Uncle Finney?

-Now, what makes you think we done anything with him?

-'Cause I come home and he be gone,

and a whole bunch of folks told me they seen you toting him off.

Now, where is he?

-Will you just take it easy, girl?

-You all done plumb lost your mind for some --

Where's Uncle Finney?! -He's real safe now.

May be asleep if your hollering ain't waking him up.

-And when you two get out of that county work farm?

You escape or something?

-Um, a month early. The called it good behaving.

-Oh, poo!

You ain't never done one second of good behavior

in your whole life! Now what you done --

-I thought I told you to quit your howling, girl!

Look here!

-[ Snoring ]

-Incredible. -What is, Doc?

-Well...him ticking away like a fine watch.

-He don't look like there's six ticks left in him.

Does he? -[ Chuckles ]

-Where's the bottle?

-Right away, Uncle Finney.

-Well, Doc, that's...

-There might be better ways of staying healthy, I guess,

but in this case,

I'd strongly suggest that we just don't disturb

the delicate balance of nature or whatever it is.

Get him his whiskey.

-You done what? -I told you.

We turned in Uncle Finney for the $50 reward on him.

-Now, don't get excited.

We ain't gonna leave him in jail.

-But we need the $50 to get started in town.

-Started doing what?

-We gonna open us up a saloon

right across the street from the freight office.

But we ain't gonna be running no saloon.

[ Chuckles ] You know what we gonna do?

We gonna dig us a tunnel

right under the street and into the freight office.

And when the time's right, we gonna rob it.

-Y'all done plumb lost your minds.

-You keep your talk down. You'd be losing something.

-And what about Uncle Finney?

-Never mind Uncle Finney.

We're gonna set him free before we head off for California.

-I ain't gonna let you do it. I'm --

-Now, you just hold on. -Get back down.

-Now, number one, missy,

we wouldn't leave an inch of you not turned blue.

And number two, you better stop to think about Uncle Finney.

They hang horse thieves.

-They can't hang Uncle Finney. He's too old to hang.

-They hang a horse thief.

They ain't gonna make no difference

account of a man's age.

That wouldn't be fair.

-So you just better watch your mouth, girl.

Now, we leave for California,

and we gonna set Uncle Finney free.

Now, if we don't leave for California,

which means you been talking to the law,

you just might be seeing Uncle Finney just taken right up there

to that hanging scaffold.

Now, find yourself a place to stay over at the boarding house.

Tonight, you're gonna be working in our saloon.

-I ain't working in no saloon.

-You do like we say,

or we'll leave Uncle Finney where he's at.

They'll hang him proper.

-And I'll be getting a couple licks in, myself, missy.

Now get. -Go on.

-Morning, Sam.

-Hi, Festus.

-I'll take a bottle of your whiskey

when you can get around to it, Sam.

-All right.

-So early in the morning, Festus?

-Well, Miss Kitty, this -- this here ain't for me.

It -- it's...Well, it's for a prisoner we got.

-Oh.

Changing jail procedure a little bit

while Matt's out of town, huh?

-No, ma'am. It ain't that at all.

It's -- it's -- it's just that...

Well, it's that it's hard to explain.

That's what it is.

Just put that on the tally book for the marshal's office.

Thank you.

-Hey! That there for Uncle Finney?

-That's who it's for.

-This regular saloon whiskey?

-What kind of whiskey ya expect to come out of a saloon?

-Well, dollar whiskey can't compare

to what Uncle Finney's been used to.

He's been getting the finest, triple-distilled, extra-special,

hand-strained corn whiskey there is.

-I mean, you mistreat Uncle Finney,

and he's liable to curl up his toes

and quit breathing on ya.

-Well, since when is buying whiskey

for somebody mistreating them?

-Hey, barkeep, you got any special whiskey

for people that don't care about the price?

-Don't get -- -We've got some

for $2 a bottle, even $3. -All right.

Let me have one of them $3 bottles right here.

Well, you -- you expecting the jail to furnish $3 whiskey

for a jailbird? Well, that's --

-We're just looking out for Uncle Finney's health.

- Well, he'd ought to be healthier with you --

-How's that set with you, Elbert?

-Passable.

Better keep a good stock of this stuff because we don't

know how long Uncle Finney is going to be in jail.

-Uncle Finney will be satisfied.

-Well, I'd be satisfied myself if I was in his place.

Never seen such a pair of knotheads in all my...

-What you charging, ma'am? -Two bit shot.

Every third drink's on the house.

-Fair enough.

Do you keep books?

-Huh?

-I generally charge my drinks.

-We go on cash.

-Oh.

-Put them jugs on the shelf.

-Roland Daniel.

-Cut that out.

-Ain't too late for you to change your mind

about that freight office.

Now you's just aching to get yourself thrown back in jail.

-You shut up.

Now get back and tend to your customers.

Go on.

-You doing a mighty fine job of digging, brother Elbert.

-Well...man digging for gold, he don't fool around none.

-Just ain't that the truth?

Hey, get that big rock there, Elbert.

Get that out, and you'd make some time.

-That one? -There.

Lift her up.

That's good. That's good. Hold her.

Mm.

Mighty fine. That's good.

Now, you can dig right there.

♪♪

-Morning, Merry Florene.

-Morning, Mr. Festus.

Uh, I was wondering if I could could visit my uncle.

It be about his waking time now.

-Well, of course you can. Come on in.

See, I don't never lock him up in his cell at all.

-You don't never lock these doors at all?

-No, ma'am. Of course, it's Doc's idea.

But I got to agree with him.

See, this a-way, it gives Uncle Finney a chance

to stretch his legs and kind of move around.

Don't you see?

So you just go ahead on, now,

and jaw with him as long as you want to.

-I oblige you, Mr. Festus. -You're welcome.

-Mr. Festus, what you reckon they'll do with Uncle Finney?

-Oh, a little jail time, I reckon.

That's about all.

-He ain't got much time left.

-Well, a judge will keep it in his head

'bout Uncle Finney being so old

and that he ain't never did nothing wrong

outside of stealing that horse.

-Ain't never did nothing wrong?

-Well, he ain't, has he?

-No. He ain't.

-Well, ain't ought to fret your head at all about it.

-Uncle Finney? You wake up now, you hear?

-Huh?

Merry Florene.

-Uncle Finney, we gots to talk about getting you out of here.

-Something wrong where we be?

-Uncle Finney, them brothers of mine be up to mischief.

And it won't be to your advantage

when you face the judge,

might even think you be in on it.

Uncle Finney, they's digging a tunnel into the freight office

and robbing it when the time be right,

they said. -Yeah.

Kind of take after the wrong side of the family,

them nephews of mine.

-Uncle Finney, I gots it figured out.

Now, you don't drink no more and maybe keep awake.

And we can be escaping from here anytime after dark

and get you hided in them hills.

-Got a real good jail here.

Them hills get too nippy for these old bones.

-Uncle Finney, what if folks say

you get strung up like a horse thief?

-Oh, I get a mite tired with all this hard thinking.

You come back in a little time, Merry Florene,

talk again about it.

-Uncle Finney.

-Merry Florene?

It's been a spell.

-It has been abouts a year.

-What have you been

doing with yourself since the last time I saw you?

-I've been getting myself some schooling.

-Schooling? You mean you've been going to school?

-I've been schooling myself.

I teached myself to read this here book called an almanac.

And I found nary a word I couldn't understand almost.

-[ Chuckles ] Well, that's real good, Merry Florene.

-I...Even, uh, spelling come kind of natural to me.

I mean, a word sounds like it is, or most.

-Well, I'll tell ya something, there's nothing like schooling.

-You ain't asking me yet how come I been going

through trouble and stuff to learn readings and writings.

-Well, the same as anybody else.

I mean, the more you know, uh, about reading and writing,

the better you are.

-I had myself a special reason -- you.

[ Chuckles ]

I -- I figured I'd come back to Dodge more a lady

so you wouldn't be ashamed to court me none.

-If you're looking for the marshal, he's gone.

-I know.

I was just visiting with my Uncle Finney.

-Your Uncle Finney? In jail?

-[ Sighs ] It's kind of a long story.

-Now, wait a minute. It wouldn't have something

to do with those two brothers of yours, would it?

Just what are they up to now? -Nothing.

I mean, they just opened up their own saloon.

-Saloon?

-You come by for a drink, Mr. Newly.

Bye, Mr. Newly.

-A saloon?

♪♪

[ Bell clanging ]

-Somebody's at the front.

-We ought to put us up a sign

that says we ain't gonna be open for business until nights.

-Oh, um...um, morning, Marshal.

-Just figured I'd pay you boys a little visit

and see how your new business is going.

-Well, we's, um,

working in the back and making it livable.

Maybe we can buy you a drink to celebrate our opening.

-Well, if it's customary.

-That's, uh, that's empty.

-Did you boys find out

that you're profiting with your business, are you?

[ Shovel scraping ]

-Hoo!

Hey!

Oh!

Ooh! [ Chuckles ]

Got the -- got the morning tingles in my leg.

Start taking your first toast, Marshal.

-Uh, say,

I haven't saw your brother around much lately.

-Elbert. Uh, Elbert sleeps a lot.

-That there a bedroom you're building back there,

is it?

-Just a living place, like I said.

You ready for a second, Marshal?

-No. No more. No.

I got to get on about my business.

-You can come back any time, you hear?

You come on in, and, uh,

you have a drink any time, on the house.

Any time you -- Your money ain't no good here.

Uh, so you just step in, uh,

just any time you want... a free drink.

Stop in any time.

-Giddyap. Giddyap!

-I want to talk to you boys.

-Come on.

-I wants to talk to you boys.

-Oh, you said that.

-Well, looky here.

Made about $6.

-Where'd you get that $6? -Yeah.

Where'd you get that? -In yonder.

Y'all's making money in the saloon business.

You don't have to be robbing no freight office.

-Done real good, Merry Florene.

-It weren't me done it.

That's the way of business.

Y'all's could be respectable and earn yourself a good living.

Dynamite?

-Well, why don't you yell it louder?

-Y'all's dynamiting dirt? -No, we ain't.

For the safe in that place when we get ready.

-Pop them old iron doors off like they be tin.

-But dynamite will bring the whole town running.

Y'all wouldn't have no chance getting out of here.

-Who says we're leaving? [ Laughs ]

-The posse be out chasing their tails, we'll be back here.

They'll be looking for somebody who rode off with the money.

Now, why don't you go on and tend to your customers?

[ Laughs ]

-Y'all don't want to just think about doing real good

in the saloon business?

-We figure we can do it better and faster.

Huh? [ Laughs ] Now, go. Get out of here.

-Go on. Move. -Go on. Move.

-Y'all ain't never done nothing right your whole life!

-What's the matter with her?

-Oh, it's that old gunsmith fella that she got her sweet on.

-How far you figure we'd be under the street?

-I don't know. I ain't figured it.

-It's time we did.

Maybe closer we think, the way you been burrowing.

Tell you what, Elbert. I've got me a plan.

I'll go out front and stomp.

You hit back with the shovel when you hear me.

-All right. -All right.

♪♪

-Them tingles coming morning andnight now.

-Maybe you ought to go and have old Doc take a look at it.

-Yeah, might just do that. Thank you.

♪♪

-Just thought us Haggens had a batch of odd ones,

but this here outfit... [Chuckles]

♪♪

-Merry Florene.

-Hi, Mr. Newly. -Wait a minute.

Is something wrong? -Little something.

-It is your uncle?

Well, I can understand that.

I was talking to Festus the other day,

and he told me he's over 100 years old.

-He is. He'll be 104 next week.

-Well, just don't worry about it.

They'll be letting him out soon.

-Not according to Roland Daniel and Elbert Moses, they won't.

-Well, don't pay any attention to those two.

They don't know what they're talking about.

Merry Florene, there's something I'd like to ask you.

There's a picnic this Sunday afternoon,

and I was wondering if you'd like to go with me.

-Can't go, Mr. Newly.

I -- I'm obliged you asking me, but I can't go.

I gots to do my chores now.

♪♪

[ Horse neighs ]

-Roland, we in trouble! -Well, get out!

[ Chatter ]

-I don't know.

-I don't know. What is it? [ Chatter continues ]

-What in the tarnation happened here?

-Well, what kind of streets you got in this town, anyways?

-Looks like you plumb broke down.

-Well, I ain't never heard of a street falling in before.

-You know, it's just pure old amazing.

Now, here's ground that stood for no telling how long.

Even buffalo would -- -All right.

A couple of you men, we need a muscle here.

Maybe we can get the wheel out. -Yeah.

Just a get hold of here, you fellers.

Everybody get together.

-We got it! -All right.

We'll take care of you in just a second.

We got it. [ Chatter ]

-We got to dump it in there, Elbert.

-Wait a minute. Wait a minute!

Don't put that dirt in! Wait! Hold on, now.

Don't do that until we get it out.

Wait until we get the wagon out.

Put down your shovel and get a hold here.

Everybody. Ladies, get back. Come on. Get a hold here.

Let's get it out. Ready, steed.

[ Grunts ]

-Might have been an earthquake.

Fact is, me and Elbert heard something a while ago.

Sounded just like a earthquake.

-Yeah. We sure did. Sounded exactly like an earthquake.

-We don't want nobody breaking their leg

on the way to our saloon.

-Me and Roland Daniel always kind of been

like good Samaritans.

-Just make sure you tamp that down good, now.

If you're gonna do it, do it right.

♪♪

-I told you we should have used some wood down there.

-All right. We'll do it now. Let's get it finished.

♪♪

-Right smack in the back room.

I think gold time, Elbert Moses.

-You sure got a good right arm.

There she be.

-I wonder what's all these goods.

-Just things folks be sending about.

Now, where's your manners?

Don't worry about what folks be sending.

-Just want to have a little look-see.

-Go on. Get.

-I can practically hear that money

talking right through the iron.

-It's saying, "California. California. California.

You boys come ahead and just sit in the sun from now on."

-Get that in there real good. -Yeah.

-All right.

-Let's get.

-Here. Here.

-And I figure we ain't got no more than a minute

to get in here from the back room, get that money,

get back in the tunnel.

It ain't gonna take no longer than that for somebody

to come running over here.

-Show me color of money, and a minute's all I need.

[ Both chuckle ]

-It ain't locked?

Get it out!

♪♪

-Ain't nothing.

-Been patient, brother Roland, just like Dad say.

-Waiting for a strong box, something getting signed for.

-To them who waits...

That's Bible reading Grandpa Elihu used to spout.

-I don't think the Bible exactly apply here.

Come on. Let's get this stuff back.

We got to figure a way to fix them boards back there

so nobody know we cut our way in.

Let's go.

♪♪

-No doubt what's in that safe tonight.

♪♪

-Merry Florene.

-Howdy, Miss Kitty.

Um, Miss Kitty, I was gonna ask you about,

um, about, um... Miss Kitty, I sure --

I sure wish I was a little bit like you, I mean,

everything going along kind of smooth, um, you know,

and, um, kind of right and everything and, um...

Maybe I don't know what I mean.

-You sound like you might be in some kind of trouble again.

Is it those brothers of yours?

-I guess I better sort of take care of it myself.

-If there's anything I can do to help you,

you be sure and let me know. -Yes, ma'am.

-Look, Doc, somebody sent this. -Yeah. I know. I know.

I know you got something there you want me to help you with.

I don't know why in thunder you don't learn to read and write.

It's not that hard. -Well...

-Well, it's not at all.

'Course, you first would have to prove

that you're smarter than your mule.

And that might be a little difficult.

-Ha ha! Mr. Feisty Britches,

it just so happens I done know what's in this here letter,

and your help ain't needed.

So just go roll yourself a pill.

-I will.

-One of these days, when I do learn how to write,

I'm gonna write you some reading

that'll just curl your old mustache.

Billy goat.

-You boys don't have to do this.

-You go on to school with your gunsmith fella

and save your advice, missy.

[ Horse neighs ]

-What you two doing here?

-You ain't taking what's ours.

♪♪

-It could blow at any second.

♪♪

-Watch that step, now.

-Here. What -- what -- what --

-You was supposed to be someplace else.

-Where at? -The freight office.

-Freight office?

-I wroted you a note saying it was gonna be robbed for sure.

I didn't want to tell on my kinfolk, but I done it.

♪♪

-What was that? -Mr. Festus!

-The express office!

-They be crawling back through the tunnel to the saloon.

-Tunnel? -Over to the freight office.

-Much obliged.

-You might as well sit down, Uncle Finney.

We ain't going no place. -[ Groans ]

-Get some water!

♪♪

-Let's go.

♪♪

-All right. I got you.

-Get your dirty hands off our money.

-I ought to blow you away to Sunday.

-What's going on there?

[ Chatter ]

-Is anybody in there? -Come on!

♪♪

-Well, you boys sure deserve a vote of thanks

and maybe a little reward from the freight company.

-I know these two.

They're the Clayven boys. Thank you, Elbert.

-Yeah.

-Mr. Colton.

He'll be happy to hear about this,

you boys getting these robbers.

♪♪

-Come on.

♪♪

-We wasn't thinking about no reward -- reward or nothing.

We just, uh, we kind of keep our eyes peeled around town

to be a help and such.

-It runs in our family.

You know, watch out for the folks.

-Oh, yeah.

Like filling in holes in the street and stuff like that.

-These are the two fellas that deserve the town's thanks,

Festus. -Oh, of course, Burke.

They're real deserving.

Here. I'll take that.

Fact is, uh, we're fixing to have us a little talk,

me and these two deserving fellers.

Go ahead.

-It's no use, Uncle Finney. We'll all be put in jail now.

-I got to hand it to those brothers of yours, Merry Florene.

They caught these two thieves red-handed.

-There ain't no law against digging tunnels.

-We come up accidental-like in that freight office.

-Yeah. Digging for gold is what we was doing.

-Yeah, and you puttin' you got your grubby fingers

on some too, didn't you?

-That'd be pure supposing.

-I mean, you can't prove nothing.

-Oh, wait just a minute.

Get up here where I can talk to you.

Now, what do you two got to bet against 5 or 10 years

behind jail bars that I ain't proving nothing?

All right, then.

Now, I'll tell you what you're going to do first.

You're gonna go to work,

and you're going to fill up that tunnel that you dug.

And if there are a reward coming from that freight office,

you are gonna turn that over to the school

because they got yourselves a little fundraising

going on right now.

-You're asking us to give money away?

-We was brought up different. -All right.

To jail right -- -Hold up.

Wait. Wait. We can talk about it.

-Hey, talk. -All right.

I'll tell you something else we'll talk about, too.

That's both of ya getting out of town.

And the next time you set foot in Dodge City again,

you're gonna be right back on that county work farm

where you'd ought to have been all the time.

Now, get!

-Hurry up!

-Oh, Mr. Deputy...

You be a hard man.

-You betcha I'm a hard man.

♪♪

You set foot in this town again,

I'll get on you like ugly on an ape.

-Well, here's to you, Uncle Finney.

-To Uncle Finney. -Here's to ya, Uncle Finney.

-Would you look at that cake? Boy.

[ Chatter ] Look at that.

-Yeah.

-You gonna blow out your candles, Uncle Finney?

-Yeah. [ Breathing heavily ]

-Hold on here. Hold on.

Just a minute, Uncle Finney. Now, I tell you,

I think we all ought to kind of pitch in here

and help Uncle Finney a little now. Let's...

[ Laughter ]

-You know, in all the years in Dodge,

I can't remember anybody passing the hundred mark.

Can you, Doc? -No.

I swear I can't. I can't -- I can't -- No, I can't.

-I know somebody that's knocking at the door.

-Oh, my God.

-[ Laughs ] What I want to know is, what does a man think

about reaching 104 years of age?

-Eh, what? -Reaching 104 years of age.

-What do you think about? -Think about?

-We'll, you've been places and done things

that we've only read about in the history books.

-Well, young feller, I'll tell you...

what I think about.

What I think about is...

[ Sighs ]

Well...

What I think about is reaching 105.

[ Laughter ]

-Is that you? -Hello, Festus.

-You got here just in time. -What's going on?

-We got us a party going on in there.

Miss Kitty -- she baked a cake.

-Somebody's birthday? -Uncle Finney.

He ain't my uncle,

but he's 104 years old today, Matthew,

and he's a horse thief.

♪♪

Fact is, we owe a $50 reward on him.

-What?

-Well, Matthew, it's going to take a little while to tell it.

Why don't we go in yonder

and glom up on some of that cream-and-sugar cake

before it gets all gone?

-Yeah. Sounds like a good idea.

Also, it sounds like you've been having

kind of an interesting time here while I've been gone.

-Well, you could say that, Matthew,

but you know me.

I keep my eyeball on everything in this town.

Ain't nothing...

♪♪

-Stay tuned for scenes from next week's "Gunsmoke."

♪♪