Original subtitles

THIS GAME SUCKS.

WHERE'S THE REMOTE?

I DON'T KNOW. WHERE'D YOU PUT IT?

I THINK SHARON'S SITTING ON IT.

NO, I'M NOT.

WELL, ARE YOU SURE?

YEAH. I THINK I'D FEEL IT.

SHARON, I LEFT IT RIGHT WHERE YOU'RE SITTING.

COME ON, GET UP. ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT!

SEE?

LISTEN, WHILE YOU'RE UP,

COULD YOU GET US A COUPLE MORE BEERS?

LOOKING FOR THIS?

YEAH. THANKS.

CAN I GET YOU A TALL COOL GLASS OF LEMONADE?

YEAH. THAT'D BE NICE.

COMING RIGHT UP.

SHARON. GOING AFTER THE REPAIRMAN.

CHICK-A-BWOW.

DID YOU EVER STOP AND AND THINK

THAT JOHNNY JUST MIGHT BE

AN EMOTIONALLY SCARRED WORKING-CLASS HERO

WHOSE GENIUS IS SIMPLY UNTAPPED?

YOU KNOW, SHARON, I AM SO SORRY

THAT I GOT YOU GOOD WILL HUNTING FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY.

PETE, CAN I GET A LEMONADE, PLEASE?

SHARON, I'M WORKING HERE.

HENCE MY CRAZY IDEA TO ORDER FROM YOU.

I'M HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE

WITH MY CLASS SCHEDULE RIGHT NOW.

I WOULD'VE GONE OVER IT LAST NIGHT,

BUT I WAS A LITTLE BUSY

PREPARING FOR MY INTERVIEW WITH CONWAY AND ASSOCIATES.

IT'S JUST THE BIGGEST ARCHITECTURE FIRM IN BOSTON, OK?

AND IF I GET THIS INTERNSHIP,

I'M GONNA BE SET FOR LIFE. SET FOR LIFE!

BUT I SUPPOSE...

I SUPPOSE I CAN PUT EVERYTHING ON HOLD

AND GET YOU YOUR LEMONADE!

OK.

OK.

I'LL GET THE LEMONADE.

GOD, ICE THAT VEIN IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR FOREHEAD.

I JUST STARTED MY PSYCH ROTATION.

GREAT.

AND, YOU KNOW, I THINK I FOUND MY CALLING...

EASING THE WOES OF THE PETES OF THE WORLD.

WELL, ON BEHALF OF THE PETES OF THE WORLD,

GO AWAY.

PETE, COME ON, WHAT'S WRONG?

THEY'RE NOT GONNA LET ME GRADUATE

UNLESS I TAKE AN ELECTIVE.

WHAT KIND OF POLICE STATE ARE WE LIVING IN?

BERG, LOOK, IT'S MY LAST YEAR, ALL RIGHT?

I NEED TO FOCUS.

I DON'T NEED A DISTRACTION RIGHT NOW.

A DISTRACTION IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU NEED RIGHT NOW.

YOU'RE TOO FOCUSED, OK?

YOU'VE BEEN EATING AND SLEEPING ARCHITECTURE

FOR THE LAST 8 MONTHS.

YOU'RE STRESSED OUT OVER A CAREER

THAT YOU HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED YET.

YOU KNOW, I THINK

THAT A NICE, EASY ELECTIVE

WOULD BE A GOOD THING.

IT'LL LOOSEN YOU UP.

OK! OK!

I WISH I HAD MY LAST SEMESTER

TO DO ALL OVER AGAIN.

BECAUSE ONCE YOU'RE OUT IN THE REAL WORLD,

EVERY DAY IS ALL...

YECCH AND... AND... BLECCH.

YOU GOT THAT LEMONADE?

Sharon: OH, YEAH. HERE YOU GO.

Berg: OK. RIGHT HERE... THE PERFECT ELECTIVE.

INTERMEDIATE BOWLING.

BOWLING?

THAT'S A COURSE?

I'VE BEEN BOWLING EVERY WEDNESDAY NIGHT FOR THE PAST 10 YEARS.

WHERE'S MY Ph.D.?

JOHN, IT'S NOT JUST BOWLING.

IT'S BOWLING... APPRECIATION.

WHAT I APPRECIATE ABOUT BOWLING

IS IT COSTS ME 15 BUCKS.

IT'S GONNA COST YOU CLOWNS 8 GRAND.

GO FIGURE.

I GOTTA TRACK DOWN A PART. I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.

AND THANKS FOR THE LEMONADE.

SURE.

HA HA HA.

YEAH, YEAH. IF HE'S SO SMART,

WHY IS IT TAKING HIM 4 DAYS TO FIX A JUKEBOX?

EVERY NIGHT, AFTER HE LEAVES,

I BREAK A DIFFERENT PART.

OH! MAN, I GOTTA XEROX MY BLUEPRINTS,

I GOTTA PICK UP MY SUIT FROM THE CLEANERS,

AND, SOMEHOW, I HAVE TO DROP THESE CARDS OFF

TO THE REGISTRAR'S OFFICE BY 5:00.

HEY, IF YOU WANT,

I'LL DROP BY THE REGISTRAR'S OFFICE ON THE WAY HOME

AND DROP THOSE OFF FOR YOU.

YOU RULE.

I MOST CERTAINLY DO.

HEY, BERG.

HEY.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS.

FUNNIEST THING...

I WENT IN TO MY METALLURGY CLASS TODAY,

AND IT TURNS OUT I'M NOT ENROLLED IN METALLURGY.

APPARENTLY, SOMEONE ENROLLED ME

IN SPORTS BROADCASTING.

HMM...

AND HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL?

ANGRY.

THAT'S GOOD.

NOW TELL ME, HOW ARE WE GONNA WORK THROUGH

THESE NEGATIVE EMOTIONS, PETE?

WELL, FIRST, I'M GONNA LUNGE AT YOU

AND BEAT YOU UNCONSCIOUS

WITH MY SPORTS BROADCASTING BOOK.

COME ON.

OH, NO. I CAN DO IT. IT'S A REALLY HEAVY BOOK.

BERG, I TRIED TO SWITCH OUT,

BUT ALL THE OTHER ELECTIVES WERE FULL.

WELL, YOU SHOULD'VE GOTTEN THERE EARLY,

LIKE I DID.

BERG, I GOTTA GO TO THIS INTERVIEW.

THEN I GOTTA RUSH OVER AND ANNOUNCE THIS STUPID GAME

FOR THIS STUPID COURSE THAT I SHOULDN'T EVEN BE TAKING.

AND IF I DON'T GO, I'M GONNA FAIL!

THIS IS THE REST OF MY LIFE WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.

EXACTLY.

THIS IS YOUR LAST YEAR OF GRAD SCHOOL. OK?

YOUR LAST YEAR TO DO SOMETHING... FUN.

WHOO-HOO!

YOUR LAST YEAR BEFORE YECCH AND BLECCH.

THIS IS MY LAST YEAR.

OH, MY GOD. BERG, IT'S MY LAST YEAR.

AND YOU WANTED TO STRIKE ME WITH A BOOK.

BUT SPORTS BROADCASTING?

COME ON. YOU KNOW SPORTS BETTER THAN ANYONE. TRUE.

HOW MANY TIMES WATCHING FOOTBALL AT O'MALLEY'S

HAVE PEOPLE THROWN PEANUTS AT YOUR HEAD

AND TOLD YOU TO SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP?

A LOT.

NOW YOU GET COLLEGE CREDIT FOR THAT.

IT'LL BE GREAT.

THE BIG CROWD, THE STADIUM,

THE FANS, THE ACTION ON THE FIELD.

AND TELL ME...

WHO, WHO IS GONNA BRING THAT FUN

INTO EVERYONE'S LIVING ROOMS?

PETE DUNVILLE?

YEAH!

ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA GO TO MY INTERVIEW.

I WANT YOU TO MEET ME AT THE GAME.

AND IF I DON'T HAVE ANY FUN,

I'M GONNA HAVE TO KILL YOU AFTERWARDS.

FAIR ENOUGH.

I MUST SAY, MR. DUNVILLE,

YOUR PORTFOLIO IS QUITE IMPRESSIVE.

THANK YOU, SIR. THANK YOU.

I FOUND THIS ON THE BUS.

IT'S JUST A LITTLE JOKE TO BREAK...

BREAK THE TENSION.

SO, WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO BE AN ARCHITECT?

OH, MY DAD. MY DAD MOSTLY.

WAS HE AN ARCHITECT?

NO, NO, NO, NO.

HE WAS A FOREMAN ON CONSTRUCTION SITES.

EVER SINCE I WAS, LIKE, 8 YEARS OLD,

HE ALWAYS HAD THESE BIG DREAMS FOR ME.

AND, YOU KNOW, SO... HI. HOW ARE YOU?

THE THING THAT STRIKES ME, MR. DUNVILLE,

IS IN THE PAST 25 MINUTES,

YOU'VE ANSWERED ALL OF OUR QUESTIONS

IN A CLEAR AND COMPETENT MANNER.

BUT THE ONE THING I HAVEN'T HEARD YOU SAY IS...

WHY YOU LOVE ARCHITECTURE.

WHY I LOVE ARCHITECTURE.

UM...

WELL, YOU KNOW, THE THING IS, IS...

WELL, I MEAN, IT'S BECAUSE...

WELL, WITHOUT ARCHITECTURE,

WE'D ALL BE OUTSIDE.

THANK YOU, MR. DUNVILLE.

WE'LL HAVE YOU BACK TOMORROW

TO MEET OUR SENIOR PARTNERS.

OH, THANK YOU.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

DID YOU GET THAT THING WITH THE BUS?

THIS IS PETE DUNVILLE FOR WMFO COLLEGE RADIO,

AND WE'VE GOT A REAL CLASH OF THE TITANS TONIGHT.

THE FIRST ROUND

OF THE MONDAY NIGHT CHESS CLUB TOURNAMENT

IS JUST SECONDS AWAY

AFTER THESE WORDS FROM FRANK'S AUTO REPAIR.

REMEMBER, AT FRANK'S...

YOU WON'T GET ROOKED.

PETE, YOU'RE DOING GREAT.

YOU GOT THE CROWD IN A FRENZY.

IT'LL BE GREAT... YOU SAY.

IT'LL BE GREAT!

THE CROWD, THE STADIUM, THE ACTION ON THE FIELD!

THIS GAME DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A BALL.

SO... SO... I... I TAKE IT THE INTERVIEW WENT POORLY.

NO, NO.

THE INTERVIEW WENT GREAT.

I'M GOING BACK TO MEET THE SENIOR PARTNERS.

HEY. HAVE I TOLD YOU

THAT I LOVE ARCHITECTURE LATELY?

WHEN YOU'VE BEEN TOGETHER AS LONG AS WE HAVE, YOU...

YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY IT.

OH. AND WE'RE BACK,

AND I THINK A MOVE IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT... NOPE.

YES!

NO!

YES! YES! AND WHAT A MOVE IT WAS

FROM OUR EXCHANGE STUDENT YURI KIROV,

WHO HAILS FROM KAZAKHSTAN.

HA HA! I'LL TELL YOU,

I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER

HE'LL BE ABLE TO SUSTAIN THIS DIZZYING PACE.

OH... OH, AND... AND THE COUNTERMOVE.

OH! AND A BEAUTY!

PAWN TO KNIGHT 4.

AN UNEXPECTEDLY AGGRESSIVE PLAY

BY OUR CHALLENGER ISAAC GLICKSTEIN.

WE... WE HAVE A SLUGFEST BREWIN' HERE

IN THE COHEN AUDITORIUM.

AND YURI, "THE MAD RUSSIAN,"

IS DOMINATING BOTH SIDES OF THE BOARD!

AND GLICKSTEIN'S QUEEN IS RUNNIN' SCARED.

GO GET 'EM, YURI!

FINISH HIM, YURI!

YOU'RE RIGHT. THIS IS A BLAST!

WE'VE MADE A BREAKTHROUGH.

OH! AND YURI SENDS HIS BISHOP COAST TO COAST!

OH, WAIT!

WAIT! GLICKSTEIN'S KING IS TRAPPED IN THE CORNER!

AND HE LOOKS LEFT. HE LOOKS RIGHT.

THERE'S NOWHERE TO GO!

WAIT, WAIT! YES, IT'S CHECKMATE! IT'S OVER!

WHOO!

THERE'S A PARTY IN KAZAKHSTAN TONIGHT!

I LOVE SPORTS BROADCASTING!

WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?

NOTHING.

OH... SHARON.

YOU THINK JOHNNY'S GONNA BE ABLE TO SOLVE THAT, DON'T YOU?

IT'S POSSIBLE.

ADMIT IT. YOU LIKE THIS GUY,

AND YOU JUST CAN'T STAND THE FACT THAT HE'S NOT AN INVESTMENT BANKER.

YOU ARE SO... SO NOW...

YOU'RE RATIONALIZING,

TELLING YOURSELF HE'S SOME BIG GENIUS.

GO PLAY WITH PETE'S BRAIN. LEAVE MINE ALONE.

JOHNNY. UH, WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF THIS?

HEY, I KNOW THIS.

YOU DO?

YEAH. SURE.

THERE YOU GO.

HUH!

HE DID IT.

JOHNNY PROVED THE ELUSIVE

"CUTE BUNNY WITH A BIG FLUFFY TAIL" THEOREM.

HEY, EVERYONE. HOW YOU ALL DOIN'?

OOH! MINE!

HEY, WHO'S THIS HAPPY GUY?

WHERE'S MY FRIEND?

YOU WERE RIGHT, BERG. SPORTS BROADCASTING.

HA HA!

NOW, NORMALLY, THIS TYPE OF PROGRESS

WOULD'VE TAKEN YEARS OF PSYCHOANALYSIS.

ME? HALF-HOUR.

ARE YOU PETE DUNVILLE?

YEAH, THAT'S ME.

OH, I KNEW IT! HEY, GUYS, I WAS RIGHT!

HERE HE IS... THE VOICE OF CHESS!

YES, I AM.

COME ON, DO IT. DO IT!

OK, OK, OK.

THIS IS PETE DUNVILLE REMINDING YOU...

IT'S YOUR MOVE.

OH, AWESOME!

ALL RIGHT, SEE YOU LATER.

BYE.

SO, I JUST STOPPED IN TO LET YOU KNOW

TO HUDDLE AROUND YOUR RADIOS TONIGHT

BECAUSE... THAT'S RIGHT...

PETE DUNVILLE IS ANNOUNCING WOMEN'S BASKETBALL.

HA HA!

TUFTS VS. AMHERST. 5 P.M. TIPOFF.

OK, FIRST OF ALL... STOP REFERRING TO YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON.

AND SECOND, I THOUGHT YOU WERE MEETING THE SENIOR PARTNERS TONIGHT.

I'M BLOWIN' 'EM OFF.

WHAT?

YUP. BLOWIN' 'EM OFF.

BUT THIS INTERNSHIP IS HUGE.

SET FOR LIFE. "CAN'T GET YOU LEMONADE." REMEMBER?

THAT WAS BEFORE I DECIDED TO QUIT ARCHITECTURE.

WHAT?!

YEAH! ALL THANKS TO THAT MAN,

FOR HE HATH SHOWN ME THE LIGHT.

DON'T LOOKETH AT ME.

HEY, HEY, YOU'RE A SEMESTER AWAY FROM GETTING YOUR DEGREE.

GET YOUR BUTT DOWN TO THAT INTERVIEW.

IF I GO TO THAT INTERVIEW, I'M GONNA TELL YOU RIGHT NOW,

YEAH? I'M GONNA GET THAT INTERNSHIP.

AND THEN I'M GONNA BE LOCKED INTO THAT JOB FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

WHY SETTLE FOR YECCH AND BLECCH

WHEN I CAN HAVE YIPPEE?

DON'T DO THIS. IT'S BAD FOR YOUR FUTURE.

AND YOUR PARENTS ARE GONNA BLAME ME.

YOUR MOTHER STILL HASN'T FORGIVEN ME FOR SETTING THE POOL ON FIRE.

YOU DID SET THE POOL ON FIRE.

AND I'M TIRED OF HEARIN' ABOUT IT.

EVER SINCE I WAS 12 YEARS OLD,

I NEVER EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT

BEING ANYTHING BUT AN ARCHITECT.

I MEAN, I WAS THE ONLY KID ON MY BLOCK

WHO USED SCAFFOLDING TO BUILD A SNOWMAN.

YES, WHICH IS WHY YOU SHOULD BE AN ARCHITECT!

NO. NO. LOOK,

THIS STUPID ELECTIVE HAS OPENED MY EYES.

THERE'S SO MANY THINGS OUT THERE THAT I'VE BEEN MISSING,

BUT NOT ANYMORE. ALL RIGHT?

SO WISH ME LUCK.

GOOD-BYE, AND I WILL SEE YOU ON THE RADIO.

AND PETE DUNVILLE IS OUT THE DOOR!

WHERE DOES HE GET THESE IDEAS?

OHH!

THIS ISN'T FUNNY.

YOU BROKE OUR PETE. NOW GO FIX HIM.

WHERE'S BERG? I NEED HIM TO SIGN FOR THIS.

OH, YOU JUST MISSED HIM.

BUT IF YOU LEFT NOW,

TRAVELING AT 15.6 KILOMETERS PER HOUR,

AND BERG IS TRAVELING

AT 5.3 KILOMETERS PER HOUR,

HOW MANY MINUTES WILL IT BE

BEFORE YOU REACH HIM?

SO IN OTHER WORDS, HE'S NOT HERE.

RIGHT.

OK. "NUMBER 42... TRACY KELLER.

RAISED HER 8 BROTHERS WHILE FATHER WORKED NIGHTS."

MMM, IT'S A GOOD HUMAN INTEREST STORY.

"NUMBER 8... CHERYL LaSASSO.

"AMAZING JUMP SHOT.

PARENTS LIVED IN A BUBBLE."

OK! I CAN USE THAT.

HEY YA, PETE.

BERG, BERG, DON'T EVEN TRY AND TALK ME OUT OF THIS

'CAUSE IT'S NOT GONNA WORK.

I JUST CAME BY TO WISH YOU LUCK IN YOUR NEW CAREER.

I EVEN... WELL, I... I BROUGHT YOU A PRESENT.

OH!

WOW! BERG, THESE ARE AMAZING!

I KNEW YOU'D LIKE 'EM.

BERG, THESE ARE THE ORIGINAL BLUEPRINTS FOR FENWAY PARK!

WELL, THIS IS SCALED DOWN.

IN REAL LIFE, IT'S REALLY MUCH BIGGER THAN THIS.

OH. LOOK. LOOK. LOOK WHERE THE SCOREBOARD USED TO BE.

MAN! THEY DON'T BUILD 'EM LIKE THIS ANYMORE.

AND LOOK... THEY USED I-BEAMS TO SUPPORT THE UPPER DECK.

IT GAVE THE GAME CHARACTER.

IT'S PRETTY COOL, HUH?

IT'S VERY, VERY COO.

SEE, THIS... THIS PUTS EVERYTHING INTO PERSPECTIVE.

YOU KNOW, THIS GIVES ME SOMETHING TO SHOOT FOR.

REALLY? YEAH.

I HOPE TO ANNOUNCE A GAME THERE SOMEDAY.

NICE TRY.

THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE AN ELECTIVE...

NOT A CAREER.

LOOK, YOU CAN'T JUST THROW EVERYTHING AWAY LIKE THIS.

YOU DID A GOOD THING. YOU HELPED ME FIND MY CALLING.

YOUR CALLING?

YEAH! I'M A NATURAL.

YOU DID THE PLAY-BY-PLAY FOR ONE CHESS MATCH.

I WAS ON TOP OF EVERYTHING.

I DIDN'T MISS A MOVE.

THEY MADE A MOVE... EVERY 35 MINUTES.

PETE! INTERVIEW!

COME ON. IT'LL BE FUN. WHAT DO YOU SAY? PETE...

HEY. YOU...

YOUR BODY LANGUAGE IS VERY NEGATIVE.

SO, JOHNNY... YOU LIKE TO READ?

YEAH, I LIKE TO READ.

OH. WHAT DID YOU THINK

OF KANT'S CRITIQUE OF PURE REASON?

OH, MAN, I COULDN'T GET ENOUGH OF IT. REALLY?

NO! WHAT, ARE YOU CRAZY?

WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO?

LOOK, I WASN'T TRYING TO S... YES, YOU WERE.

NO, NO, NO. I DIDN'T MEAN... YES, YOU DID.

SEE, DO I KNOW THIS, DO I KNOW THAT? LOOK.

LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I DO KNOW.

I KNOW HOW TO TAKE A CHEVY CARBURETOR

AND PUT IT INTO A FORD.

I KNOW EVERY WORD

TO EVERY MOTOWN SONG EVER WRITTEN.

AND... I KNOW YOU WATCH TOO MANY MOVIES.

WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

GOOD WILL HUNTING.

OH. GOD, I'VE BEEN MEANING TO SEE THAT,

SHARON. BUT WHEN I GO TO RENT IT... OK.

I KNOW ONE MORE THING.

YOU ARE VERY, VERY CUTE.

GUESS I DON'T HAVE TO BE A GENIUS

TO FIGURE THAT ONE OUT.

YOU KNOW, IT'S 5:00.

YOU MIGHT WANT TO TURN ON THE RADIO.

YOUR STUPID FRIEND IS ON.

HA HA HA HA!

Pete: GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

AND WELCOME TO COUSENS GYM.

I'M PETE DUNVILLE,

AND WE'RE JUST SECONDS AWAY FROM THE TIPOFF

OF WHAT PROMISES TO BE THE MOST EXPLOSIVE GAME

BETWEEN THESE 2 INTRASTATE RIVALS.

OK, LOOKS LIKE THEY'RE READY TO PLAY,

AND HERE'S THE TIP!

COPLEY'S ALL OVER IT AS TUFTS SENDS IT UP COURT ON A FAST BREAK.

COPLEY PASSES IT TO SHEILA LAWRENCE!

SHEILA LAWRENCE FINDS LaSASSO BASELINE!

AND CHERYL LaSASSO DUNKS IT,

JUST LIKE A MAN!

DUNKS... LIKE A MAN?

OH, PETE, DON'T EXPLAIN IT. JUST MOVE ON. MOVE ON.

AND WHEN... WHEN I SAY SHE DUNKS IT LIKE A MAN,

I DON'T MEAN TO IMPLY THAT WOMEN AREN'T AS GOOD AS MEN,

THEY'RE JUST SLOWER.

IT'S LIKE A HANDICAP, BUT... BUT NOT A BAD ONE.

WOMEN CAN DO ANYTHING. I MEAN, I'M SURE...

I'M SURE THAT SOMEDAY WE'LL EVEN HAVE A WOMAN PRESIDENT.

WE ALMOST HAD A BLACK PRESIDENT.

NOT THAT WE SHOULDN'T HAVE A BLACK PRESIDENT.

IN FACT, NEXT ELECTION,

I'M VOTING FOR A WOMAN BLACK PRESIDENT.

SHUT UP, PETE. JUST SHUT UP ALREADY.

AND I'M GONNA VOTE FOR HER,

NOT BECAUSE SHE'S BLACK,

BUT BECAUSE SHE'S THE MOST QUALIFIED...

WHOEVER SHE IS.

THE SCORE IS 16-12 AS WE GO INTO OUR FIRST TIME-OUT.

I'M PETE DUNVILLE WITH WHAT IS SHAPING UP TO BE...

MY LAST BROADCAST.

JOHNNY, I'M TELLING YOU.

I'M NOT JUST SAYING THIS.

THEY'RE NOT A COUPLE OF IDIOTS.

LOOK, ALL I KNOW IS,

SOMEHOW, SOMEBODY GOT RIGATONI IN THE JUKEBOX.

OOH! HA HA!

YOU JUST HAVE TO GET TO KNOW 'EM.

MY PROFESSOR, MISS DEVORE, MADE A POINT TO STOP BY

AND PERSONALLY GIVE ME A "D."

THAT'S NOT SO BAD.

I'VE NEVER GOTTEN A "D" BEFORE IN MY LIFE.

SECURITY GAVE YOU A PERSONAL ESCORT TO YOUR CAR.

THAT'S PRETTY COOL.

LOOK, I'VE BEEN STUDYING ARCHITECTURE MY WHOLE LIFE, RIGHT?

AND THEN ALONG COMES THIS SPORTS BROADCASTING THING,

AND IT FELT GREAT!

YOU KNOW? AND I KNOW I WENT A LITTLE NUTS.

ALL RIGHT. BUT IT WAS SO LIBERATING.

SO BASICALLY, THE THING I LOVE, I SUCK AT.

BOY, DO YOU EVER. I'LL SAY.

RHETORICAL. DIDN'T NEED A RESPONSE.

AND THE THING I'M GREAT AT, I THREW AWAY.

NOT NECESSARILY. WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

THAT BIG FIRM YOU HAD THE INTERVIEW WITH?

YOU HAVE ANOTHER INTERVIEW TUESDAY.

I... I WROTE THEM A NOTE AS YOUR DOCTOR SAYING YOU WERE ILL.

REALLY? YEAH. NOW, IF ANYBODY ASKS,

YOU HAD ELECTROSHOCK THERAPY.

SO TWITCH A LITTLE.

YOU BROKE OUR PETE. NOW GO FIX HIM.

BUT, WAIT.

BEFORE, BEFORE WE DO ANYTHING...

YOU JUST SLAPPED ME IN THE DIDN'T YOU?

THAT THREW YOU?!

YEAH.

IT WAS JUST LIKE A NICE LITTLE SURPRISE ON MY DAY.

SHOULD I NOT SLAPPED HIS?

SURE. SURE. IT FELT GREAT.