Original subtitles

TIME!

STILL OVER A MINUTE.

FINE.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

I'D MAKE A LOUSY FIREMAN.

EVERYTHING OK WITH GARFIELD?

YEAH.

YOU SURE THAT DOOR ISN'T TOO HEAVY FOR YOU?

NO. NO.

I'VE HELD DOORS TWICE THIS SIZE.

YOU GOT THE TICKETS?

FORGET THE TICKETS, BERG.

MIKOS IS NEVER GONNA LET US OFF FOR THE HOMECOMING GAME.

HE HATES US.

HE HATES YOU.

HE LOVES ME.

MIK... MY MAN!

I AM NOT YOUR MAN. I HATE YOU!

TAKE DOWN THE CHAIRS.

HERE TO HELP.

LISTEN, MIK... OS...

HOMECOMING'S TODAY, AND PETE AND I WERE THINKING

THAT YOU COULD COVER THE PLACE

WHILE WE WENT TO THE GAME.

NO.

ALL RIGHT.

YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE.

I'M GONNA HAVE TO PLAY THE GREEN CARD.

MAY I SEE YOUR PAPERS, PLEASE?

THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH YOUR SMART MOUTH!

YOU WITH YOUR SHEEP JOKES AND YOUR MEATBALL RACES!

YOU'RE EVIL! YOU'RE A DEMON! I QUIT!

MIKOS, WE'RE OUT OF 409.

NO! YOU ARE OUT OF MIKOS!

OH, YEAH, YEAH. NICE GOING, PETE!

I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE STUCK HERE WORKING ON HOMECOMING.

WHO CARES?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHO CARES?

IT'S OUR SEVENTH HOMECOMING

AND WE'RE STILL SITTING IN THE STUDENT SECTION.

DO YOU REMEMBER THE WAY THOSE KIDS LOOKED AT US LAST YEAR?

IT'S THE SAME WAY WE LOOK AT THAT OLD GUY

WHO HANGS OUT AT THE DANCE CLUB.

YOU KNOW, THAT GUY...

HEY, SPORTS FANS.

SHARON!

THIS IS GOING TO BE

THE BEST HOMECOMING EVER!

OH, YEAH? WHY?

BECAUSE OF JOHNNY.

THIS YEAR, WHEN MY OLD GIRLFRIENDS

ASK ME IF I'M SEEING ANYONE,

HOPING I'M NOT, I CAN FINALLY SAY YES!

I MEAN, LET'S FACE IT,

THAT'S WHAT HOMECOMING'S ALL ABOUT...

BEING BETTER THAN YOUR FRIENDS.

OH, GOOD!

THERE'S HEATHER SETTON.

I HATE HER!

HEATHER?

SHARON?

YOU LOOK FANTASTIC!

SO DO YOU! HOW ARE THINGS?

OH, THINGS ARE GREAT.

REALLY?

SO ARE YOU SEEING ANYONE?

AM I SEEING ANYONE?

YEAH. HE'S MEETING ME HERE.

GREAT!

OH, HERE WE GO... JACK AND STEVE.

WHAT'S WITH THE SNAZZY SUITS?

DON'T LET 'EM FOOL YOU, BERG.

THEY'RE STILL THE SAME MORONS

WHO DID ALL OUR ERRANDS FOR US JUNIOR YEAR.

YEAH, 'CAUSE THEY BELIEVED WE WERE IN THE WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM.

PETE, BERG.

HEY! HEY!

JACK! SMELLY!

IT'S NOT SMELLY ANYMORE, BERG.

I'M A STOCKBROKER.

WHAT, YOU MANAGE MONEY?

IN SCHOOL, YOU COULDN'T MANAGE TO USE DEODORANT.

WELL, ONCE YOU GRADUATE, THINGS CHANGE.

SO WHAT'S WITH THE APRONS?

OH, MY GOD. YOU GUYS DON'T STILL WORK HERE, DO YOU?

I'M IN MED SCHOOL, AND PETE'S...

STILL IN THE WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM.

SHH! SHH!

SO, UH, THEY STILL WORK HERE.

AH, THAT IS SO CUTE.

CLAIRE, MAKE A NOTE FOR ME TO GET PETE AND BERG NEW LIVES FOR CHRISTMAS.

OK, OK, SMELLY. YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU GUYS CAN PLAY DRESS-UP, AND YOU CAN TALK ON YOUR LITTLE PHONES,

BUT YOU'LL ALWAYS BE PEONS TO US.

YEAH? WELL, US PEONS WILL WAVE TO YOU IN THE STUDENT SECTION

FROM OUR SEATS ON THE 50-YARD LINE.

RIGHT BELOW THE LUXURY BOX.

OH, WELL, THAT'S JUST GREAT.

BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, WE'LL BE IN THE LUXURY BOX.

YEAH, RIGHT. WE'LL BELIEVE IT WHEN WE SEE IT.

YOU WON'T HAVE TO SEE IT, BUCKO,

BECAUSE WE'LL BE PELTING THE BACK OF YOUR HEADS WITH PATé.

YEAH!

WE DON'T HAVE TICKETS FOR THE LUXURY BOX.

RELAX, ALL RIGHT? YOU'RE GETTING AHEAD OF YOURSELF.

WE DON'T EVEN HAVE A WAY OUT OF HERE.

THERE YOU GO.

BUT WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO? I MEAN, THIS PLACE IS PACKED.

WE'VE GOT NOBODY HERE TO COVER IT.

WE'RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO GET EVERYONE TO LEAVE.

NO, BERG...

WE CAN'T JUST LET JACK AND SMELLY

THINK THEY HAVE THE UPPER HAND.

IT'S JUST A FOOTBALL GAME.

WE CANNOT LET THOSE PUNKS WALK INTO OUR HOUSE

AND TALK TRASH.

HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?

WE'RE BETTER THAN THEM. WE OWN THEM.

YES! YEAH, SURE, SURE.

YEAH, THEY HAVE CARS AND JOBS AND CHECKING ACCOUNTS.

BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE YOU A BETTER PERSON.

NO, NO, NO. BETTER SEATS MAKES YOU A BETTER PERSO.

EXACTLY! YOU KNOW WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO?

WHAT?

WE'RE GONNA CLOSE THIS PLACE.

YEAH? WE'RE GONNA GO TO THAT GAME.

YES! AND WE'RE GONNA SIT IN THAT LUXURY BOX

AND SHOW THOSE GUYS JUST WHO WE'RE NOT!

YES!

RIGHT! WHOO!

OK. THANKS FOR COMING.

ENJOY THE GAME.

KICKOFF'S IN A HALF AN HOUR!

COME ON, BERG. WE GOT TO GET THESE PEOPLE OUTTA HERE!

I'M TRYING, ALL RIGHT?

HELLO.

WHAT?

CAN I GET ANOTHER REFILL?

THIS IS YOUR THIRD ONE.

WELL, THE SIGN SAYS FREE REFILLS,

AND I WANT FREE REFILL NOW.

YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

WHAT IS THIS?

DOESN'T SAY HOW MUCH.

AND WHEN IT'S RAINING, HE GIVES ME HIS JACKET.

RICK GIVES ME HIS JACKET, TOO.

YEAH? BUT JOHNNY'S NOT AN ALCOHOLIC.

THE PLACE IS THINNING OUT.

YEAH, YEAH, BUT THERE'S STILL

SOME POCKETS OF RESISTANCE.

OK, AND THAT KID THAT HATES YOU

FROM MED SCHOOL, HE REFUSES TO LEAVE.

I'LL TAKE CARE OF HIM. YOU GET THE REST.

OK. HI. HOW WAS EVERYTHING?

OH, GREAT.

SUPER. LET ME CLEAN THIS UP FOR YOU.

FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE,

A 15% GRATUITY HAS BEEN ADDED TO YOUR MEAL.

HI, KAMEN. YOU GUYS ALMOST FINISHED?

LIKE YOU CARE.

I JUST DON'T WANT YOU TO BE LATE FOR THE KICKOFF.

LIKE I'D SIT IN THE STANDS SURROUNDED BY A BUNCH OF PEOPLE I DON'T LIKE,

WATCHING OTHER PEOPLE I DON'T LIKE PLAY A GAME I DON'T LIKE.

THEN YOU DON'T WANT TO BE LATE.

LET ME GET YOU A TO-GO BOX.

OH, WAIT. AM I PREVENTING YOU FROM GOING TO THE GAME?

YES!

GOOD.

ALL RIGHT. YOU KNOW, I WOULD NEVER DO THIS,

BUT I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE.

YOU SEE THOSE 2 GIRLS RIGHT THERE?

YEAH. THEY'RE INTERESTED IN YOU GUYS.

YEAH, RIGHT, BERG.

SO DID YOU TELL HIM?

I TOLD HIM, BUT THEY DON'T BELIEVE ME.

THIS IS KIND OF EMBARRASSING,

BUT DO YOU GUYS WANT TO GO TO THE GAME WITH US?

GREAT. LET'S GO.

WE DON'T REALLY HAVE TO TAKE THEM TO THE GAME WITH US, DO WE?

NO, NO. ONCE YOU'RE DOWN THE STREET, JUST LOSE 'EM.

Sharon: THERE HE IS! JOHNNY!

HEY!

YOU KNOW, I'M PLANNING ON EATING LATER.

COULD I HAVE MY TONGUE BACK?

OH, JOHNNY.

THIS IS HEATHER, TRISH, AND DEB.

HI, HELLO, AND HELLO.

ISN'T HE CUTE?

SHARON, HE'S WONDERFUL. I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU.

DEB, TRISH, NOW.

THAT WAS FUN!

I LOVE HOMECOMING.

OH! I GOT YOU SOMETHING. HAND ME THAT BAG.

OH! YOU GOT ME SOMETHING?

LIKE IT?

WELL, WHY WOULD I WEAR THAT? I NEVER WENT TO COLLEGE.

YOU DIDN'T PLAY FOR THE CELTICS EITHER.

OOH. 100% COTTON.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO. YOU'VE CROSSED THE CUTESY LINE.

WELL, ACTUALLY, MIKOS WANTED ME TO REPAIR THE JUKEBOX.

YEAH, WELL, MIKOS WENT BACK TO CRETE.

NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE.

YOU KNOW, IT'S THE FRIENDLINESS THAT KEEPS ME COMING BACK.

WE'LL SEE YOU GUYS AT THE GAME.

YOU GOT IT. ALL RIGHT. LOCK THE DOOR.

ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT.

THE HARD PART'S OVER.

OK. NOW ALL WE NEED TO DO IS GET 2 LUXURY BOX SEATS,

ON HOMECOMING DAY, 18 MINUTES BEFORE KICKOFF.

OH, BERG, DO YOU HEAR THAT?

COME ON. THE GAME'S STARTING.

WHEN ARE WE GONNA GET OUR TICKETS? COME ON.

IT'S GONNA WORK TO OUR ADVANTAGE, ALL RIGHT?

LOOK, BETWEEN THE TIME THE BALL IS KICKED OFF

AND THE RECEIVER CATCHES IT, TICKET PRICES DROP 80%.

AND IF WE WAIT TILL THE END, WE CAN GET 'EM FOR NOTHIN'.

THAT'S OUR GUY RIGHT THERE.

HE'S A SCALPER? HOW CAN YOU TELL?

THE SHIFTY EYES, HUNCHED SHOULDERS,

THE FACT THAT HE'S BEEN YELLING,

"I'VE GOT TICKETS. WHO NEEDS TICKETS?"

YOU NEED TICKETS?

WHERE DO YOU WANT TO SIT?

WE'RE GONNA NEED... WHOA!

HOW DID YOU GET ALL THOSE TICKETS?

MY MOM GAVE THEM TO ME.

NO, SERIOUSLY, HOW DID YOU GET THEM?

ENJOY THE GAME... OFFICER.

WHAT DID I DO? YOU LOOK LIKE A NARC!

I DO NOT LOOK LIKE A NARC.

JUST LEAVE THIS TO ME, OK?

YOU HOLDING?

DEPENDS. WHAT YOU NEED?

WELL, WHAT DO YOU GOT?

I GOT BLEACHERS, LOGE, LUXURY, OR BLIMP.

OOH! OOH! WE'LL TAKE 2 FOR THE LUXURY BOX, PLEASE.

YOU A COP?

WHAT IS IT, THE HAIR?

DON'T... DON'T WORRY ABOUT HIM, OK?

HE'S NOT A COP. HE'S JUST A GRAD STUDENT WITH A BAD ATTITUDE.

SINCE THE GAME'S ALREADY STARTED,

WE'LL GIVE YOU 20 APIECE FOR 'EM.

WHAT, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

THEY'RE WORTH 200 EACH.

OH, RIGHT, RIGHT.

WE'LL GIVE YOU 30

AND A COUPON FOR A FREE SALAD WITH A REGULAR PIZZA.

I DON'T EAT SALADS.

YOU CAN EXCHANGE IT FOR A CALZONE.

DEAL.

HERE YOU GO.

2 TICKETS TO THE LUXURY BOX

AND 2 GUYS WITH 2 TICKETS.

1, 2... 1, 2.

WOW.

OH, BERG, THIS IS HEAVEN.

I KNEW IT.

I KNEW HEAVEN WOULD HAVE AN OPEN BAR.

DO YOU REMEMBER LIFE BEFORE THE LUXURY BOX?

VAGUELY.

LET'S, UH, LET'S GO TO THE BALCONY

AND WAVE DOWN TO POOR JACK

AND HIS STUPID SIDEKICK SMELLY, SHALL WE?

QUITE. BUT WE SHOULD BE HOLDING COCKTAILS AND HORS D'OEUVRES,

DON'T YOU THINK?

YES. YES, OF COURSE.

AH!

TUNA-WRAPPED ASPARAGUS ON TOAST POINTS,

LIGHTLY BRUSHED WITH A MANGO COOLEY.

I LIKE HEAVEN.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

WAIT A MINUTE.

THOSE GUYS ARE SITTING IN OUR SEATS.

EXCUSE ME, SIR, YOU'RE SITTING IN OUR SEATS.

TAKE A WALK.

SECURITY!

YES, SIR.

YEAH, UH, WE PAID $200 FOR THESE TICKETS,

AND WE'D LIKE TO SIT IN THE SEATS.

HERE'S YOUR PROBLEM.

THESE TICKETS ARE COUNTERFEIT.

COUNTERFEIT?

OH. WELL. NEVER MIND.

I THINK YOU'D BETTER COME WITH ME, SIR.

WAIT A SECOND. LOOK, WE BOUGHT THOSE TICKETS.

WE HAD NO IDEA THEY WERE COUNTERFEIT.

YEAH. YOU SHOULD ARREST THE GUY IN THE PARKING LOT

WHO SOLD THEM TO US.

YOU MEAN THE SCALPER?

OH, MAN. YEAH.

TICKET SCALPING'S ILLEGAL

ON STADIUM GROUNDS.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. CAN'T WE JUST YELL TO OUR FRIENDS?

NO!

YEAH? WELL, MAYBE A COUPON FOR A FREE SALAD

WILL CHANGE YOUR TUNE.

OFFICER, THIS WAS JUST A TERRIBLE MISTAKE.

IF YOU LET US GO, WE PROMISE WE WON'T EVER DO IT AGAIN.

I KNOW YOU WON'T DO IT AGAIN,

'CAUSE YOU'RE GONNA BE HERE FOR THE REST OF THE GAME.

STAY HERE.

WE WANT CONJUGAL VISITS.

AT-TI-CA!

AT-TI-CA!

At-ti-ca.

ALL RIGHT, COME ON, BERG, LET'S FACE IT.

JACK AND SMELLY WON. WE'RE NEVER GONNA GET TO THE LUXURY BOX NOW.

DON'T SAY THAT, OK?

LOOK, WE CAN'T LET THEM BE BETTER THAN US.

WE GOTTA GET BACK TO THAT BOX AND YELL DOWN AT THEM.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

WE'RE LOCKED IN HERE, AND THERE ARE GUARDS EVERYWHERE.

EXCUSE ME. DO YOU KNOW WHERE THE LADIES' ROOM IS?

YEAH. IT'S JUST DOWN THE HALLWAY ON YOUR LEFT.

THANKS.

ANYTIME.

SHALL WE?

WE CAN'T... WE CAN'T JUST LEAVE.

WHY NOT?

'CAUSE HE TOLD US NOT TO.

ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE TRUSTEE?

ALL RIGHT. LOOK.

EVEN IF WE MAKE IT TO THE LUXURY BOX,

SECURITY'S GONNA RECOGNIZE US.

HOW ARE WE GONNA GET PAST THAT?

HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'LL GO GET THE BEERS.

I THINK THIS IS YOURS.

WOW.

I HATE YOU.

WHERE DID YOU FIND HIM?

AT THE BOTTOM OF A HUGE CRACKERJACK BOX?

SO WHAT DOES HE DO?

JOHNNY?

OH, UH, HE'S IN THE, UH, MUSIC BUSINESS.

PERFORMER? PRODUCER? WHAT?

HE'S IN DISTRIBUTION.

WOW.

YEAH. HE PRETTY MUCH DECIDES WHAT SONGS YOU HEAR.

HERE WE GO.

THAT WAS QUICK.

I GOT A BUDDY WHO WORKS A CONCESSION STAND.

SO, UH, SHARON TELLS US YOU'RE IN THE MUSIC BUSINESS.

HA HA HA HA!

NEVER HEARD IT PUT QUITE THAT WAY, BUT, YEAH.

DEB, DO YOU WANT SOME NACHOS?

SURE.

EXTRA CHEESE? SO IT...

SURE. SO IT MUST BE... JALAPEÑO RINGS?

SURE.

SO IT MUST BE REALLY EXCITING

BEING A MUSIC EXECUTIVE.

WHAT?

CHIPWICH?

YOU KNOW, DECIDING WHO GETS PLAYED ON THE RADIO.

WHERE'D YOU HEAR THAT?

YOU TOLD THEM I'M SOME MUSIC EXECUTIVE?

YEAH... WELL, YOU KIND OF ARE.

WHAT... ARE YOU EMBARRASSED OF ME?

NO. NOT AT ALL.

WELL, THEN TELL THEM.

I'M A JUKEBOX REPAIRMAN.

I'LL BE TAILGATING WITH MY FRIENDS.

AND I NEVER WENT TO COLLEGE.

I JUST LOVE HOMECOMING.

BERG, I AM NEVER GONNA FORGET THIS.

HOW COULD YOU?

YOU'RE AN ELEPHANT.

ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.

NOW, THIS TIME WE NEED A PLAN.

OTHERWISE WE'RE GONNA LOOK LIKE IDIOTS.

ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, LOOK.

WE ENTER THE DOORS, WE FLANK LEFT,

I'M GONNA DO AN END RUN PAST THE BUFFET TABLE,

THEN WE HEAD STRAIGHT UP TO THE WINDOW, YELL DOWN TO JACK AND SMELLY.

READY... BREAK! BREAK!

HEY, PETE. HI, BERG.

HEY, JOHNNY.

HOW'S IT GOING?

ALL RIGHT.

LET'S DO THIS.

Band member: THERE THEY ARE!

LET'S SHOW 'EM YOU CAN'T MESS WITH THE BAND!

RUN, RUN, RUN!

KAMEN?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING, BERG?

WE GOT THE ENTIRE BRASS SECTION ON OUR HEELS.

WHAT'S GOING ON? I TOLD YOU IT WAS OK TO LOSE HIM.

WELL, I TRIED TO,

BUT DON'T YOU THINK THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT KAMEN

THAT'S KIND OF CUTE?

NO!

FACE IT, BERG.

YOU LOST, I WON.

HAH!

YOU... BAND GEEK.

BAND GEEK?

BAND GEEK?!

ELEPHANT.

GET OVER IT!

Keith Jackson announcing: THE HOME TEAM'S DOWN BY A TOUCHDOWN

WITH A MINUTE LEFT TO GO IN THE GAME.

FRANKLY, THEY'LL NEED A MIRACLE TO PULL THIS ONE OUT.

TEAMS ARE SET FOR THE KICKOFF. AND IT'S AWAY,

HIGH AND DEEP, FIELDED AT ABOUT THE 8-YARD LINE.

HE STARTS BACK UP-FIELD.

HE BREAKS TO HIS LEFT.

BUT THERE'S A WALL OF DEFENDERS.

OH, A VICIOUS BLOCK THAT OPENS A HUGE HOLE.

THERE'S A PLAY THEY'LL TALK ABOUT AFTER THE GAME.

LOOK AT THOSE MOVES,

AS HE SPINS TO HIS RIGHT AND KEEPS POUNDING.

HURDLES A TACKLER AT THE 30.

GOT THE GOAL LINE IN SIGHT, ONLY THE KICKER LEFT TO BEAT.

OH HO, A STRAIGHT-ARM!

KNOCKS THAT FIFTH-YEAR SENIOR RIGHT OUT OF HIS SHOES.

HE'S LUNGING FOR THE GOAL LINE,

BUT IT LOOKS LIKE HE'S GOING TO BE DRAGGED DOWN

BY 2 TACKLERS SHORT OF IT.

AH, HE'S GOTTA BE DISAPPOINTED IN THAT.

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE. HE WANTS IT.

LOOK AT THAT SECOND EFFORT.

HE'S CARRYING THEM ON HIS BACK.

I THINK HE'S GOING TO MAKE IT.

SMELLY!

IN... YOUR... FACE!

Jackson: AND HE SCORES!

THIS ONE'S GONNA MAKE THE PLAY OF THE DAY.

THERE YOU ARE.

JOHNNY, CAN WE TALK?

I FEEL HORRIBLE. I'M REALLY, REALLY SORRY.

WELL, YOU SHOULD BE.

SHAR, I'M SORRY,

I DON'T HAVE TIME TO TALK RIGHT NOW.

A GROUP OF US EXECUTIVES ARE ON A CORPORATE RETREAT.

JOHNNY, I KNOW. I WAS, LIKE, 20 DIFFERENT KINDS OF WRONG.

YOU GOT THAT RIGHT.

TOMMY, CAN YOU SHUT UP FOR 2 SECONDS?

NOW, YOU KNOW THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE.

JUST... TRY.

LOOK, SHAR, I'M SORRY

THAT I'M NOT WHO YOU WANT ME TO BE,

BUT LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.

UNLIKE YOU, I'M PROUD OF WHAT I DO.

WHAT? YOU'RE NOT HAPPY BEING A STRIPPER?

TOMMY!

YOU TOLD HIM I WAS A STRIPPER?

SORRY. SORRY.

EXOTIC DANCER.

COME ON, GUYS, LET'S GO.

MAKE MINE MEDIUM-WELL.

WHAT?

WHY WOULD YOU POSSIBLY TELL THEM I WAS A STRIPPER?

I JUST... I DIDN'T WANT TO TAKE A LOT OF CRAP

FOR DATING A SUIT.

OH.

SO YOU'RE EMBARRASSED OF ME.

NO. NO! I...

I JUST DON'T WANT MY BUDDIES SINGING UPTOWN GIRL

EVERY TIME WE GO OUT.

SO YOU IMMEDIATELY WENT RIGHT TO STRIPPER?

WELL, YOU COULD BE.

YOU HAVE A GREAT BODY.

DON'T THINK THAT'S GONNA GET YOU OFF THE HOOK.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GOT MAD AT ME

FOR DOING THE SAME THING YOU WERE DOING.

WELL, THAT JUST GOES TO SHOW HOW MUCH WE HAVE IN COMMON.

WELL...

I'M SORRY.

I'M SORRY. I MEAN...

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY, SHARON,

THAT I'M COMPLETELY CRAZY ABOUT YOU?

WELL, IT COULDN'T HURT.

I AM.

I AM. I AM SO CRAZY ABOUT YOU.

AND I THINK YOU LIKE ME, TOO.

SOMETIMES.

OK, ALL THE TIME.

YOU KNOW, I DON'T...

I DON'T THINK I PLANNED ON FALLING FOR A GIRL LIKE YOU.

I'M PRETTY SURE YOU DIDN'T PLAN ON

FALLING FOR A GUY LIKE ME.

I GUESS WE JUST HAVE TO MAKE A COUPLE OF ADJUSTMENTS.

YEAH?

YEAH.

SO YOU WANT ME TO... STRIP FOR YOU?

WELL, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO IF YOU WANT THAT RECORD DEAL.

PETE, WE DID IT.

YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN THE LOOK ON THOSE GUYS' FACES.

COME ON, YOU GOTTA SHOW ME.

HA HA HA HA!

WHAT A COUPLE OF LOSERS.

WE SHOWED THEM.

YEAH. YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS JUST PROVES IT, BERG.

WE CAN DO ANYTHING TOGETHER.

YOU GONNA FINISH THAT FRUIT CUP?

NO.

GO FOR IT, NUMBER 24601.

HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA!

OH, I LOVE HOMECOMING.

YEAH.

Jackson: EXACTLY WHAT WAS GOING THROUGH YOUR HEAD

DURING THAT RUN-BACK?

Berg: AS SOON AS I LOOKED UP-FIELD, I GOT A GREAT BLOCK.

I THREW IT INTO HIGH GEAR,

CUT UP THE SIDELINE, PUT A SPIN MOVE ON,

AND WENT RIGHT OVER THE TOP, AND THEN...

WELL, THEN IT WAS JUST THE KICKER. WATCH WHAT I DO TO HIM.

HO HO. KICKERS SHOULD JUST KICK.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

Jackson: NOW, LET'S TAKE ANOTHER LOOK AT THAT.

BOY, YOU REALLY CREAMED THAT GUY.

WELL, I REALLY HAVE TO THANK THE LORD

FOR ALL MY GOD-GIVEN ABILITY.

GET AWAY FROM ME, KID. NO AUTOGRAPHS.