Original subtitles

HEY, BERG, THERE'S SOME KIDS SITTIN' ON SHARON'S CAR.

OK, GRANDPA.

SETTLE DOWN.

BUT THEIR JEANS LEAVE SCRATCHES IN IT.

COME ON, KIDS!

KIDS, GET OFF SHARON'S CAR!

KIDS, GET OFF SHAR... WHOA! AAH!

HEY!

HEY, YOU KIDS... GET OFF, PETE!

THE UNBELIEVABLE PART

IS THE BUILDING THAT I DESIGNED

MADE IT INTO THE FINALS.

HEY, NICELY DONE. NICELY DONE?

BERG, 200 ARCHITECTURE STUDENTS SUBMITTED DESIGNS.

190 OF 'EM HATE ME.

WHY? 'CAUSE I'M IN THE TOP 10.

COME ON, PETE. THAT'S NOT WHY THEY HATE YOU.

ALL RIGHT.

COME ON, BERG. ARE WE GONNA EAT OR WHAT? I'M STARVIN'.

YEAH. I JUST WANNA CHECK MY GRADE.

FOR WHAT? YOU'RE ALWAYS NUMBER ONE.

THE CRAZY THING IS IT NEVER GETS OLD.

EXCUSE ME.

I'LL BET I CAN GUESS YOUR PHONE NUMBER.

NO, YOU CAN'T.

OK, YOU GOT ME.

YOU BETTER WRITE IT DOWN.

HA HA HA!

OK, HOW DOES THAT WORK?

IT'S ALL ABOUT CONFIDENCE.

WHOA!

YEAH. I... I THINK KEATS SAID IT BEST

IN HIS POEM, ODE TO A GREAT ASS.

GO, AND REMEMBER... CONFIDENCE.

OH, MY GOD.

I'M FAILING.

WHY DON'T YOU GIVE ME YOUR NUMBER, AND I'LL GIVE YOU A CALL SOMETIME?

OK, CONFIDENCE AND TIMING.

NOW, THE MOMENT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR.

PETE, TELL US WHOSE NUMBER ONE IN THE MED SCHOOL CLASS COUNTDOWN

FOR A THIRD WEEK IN A ROW,

AND THIS ONE'S GOING OUT TO A WONDERFUL LADY IN ALBANY

I LIKE TO CALL... MOM.

DON'T EVEN TRY TO TELL ME THAT WAS CASEY KASEM.

WHAT?

IT'S GOOD.

I WANNA KNOW WHO TOLD YOU THAT

BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT HELPING YOU.

GIVE ME THE TOP STUDENT I.D. NUMBER.

THE TOP SCORE WENT TO STUDENT I.D. NUMBER...

8-6-3-1.

VERY FUNNY, PETE.

NOW READ THE ONE THAT FINISHED FIRST ON THE TEST.

THAT IS THE ONE.

NO.

IT CAN'T BE. MY NUMBER'S 9-2-0-1.

I'M SUPPOSED TO BE FIRST!

MAYBE NOBODY TOLD THE GUY WHO GRADES THE PAPERS.

I'M NUMBER 2?

WHOA, WHOA, WHAT... WHAT...

WHAT JUST HAPPENED HERE?

YOU SEE, IF YOU'RE NUMBER 2...

LET ME SEE IF MY MATH IS CORRECT...

THAT MEANS SOMEBODY ELSE IS NUMBER ONE. HUH!

WHERE DO YOU HIDE YOUR ABACUS?

NO. NO, NO, NO, NO. NOW, STAY WITH ME. STAY WITH ME.

THIS MEANS IF YOU WERE IN THE OLYMPICS,

YOU'D BE, UH, SILVER, AND IF YOU WERE A BRADY,

YOU'D BE... JAN!

YOU'RE ENJOYING THIS, AREN'T YOU?

IS MY ENORMOUS GRIN SHOWING? YEAH.

BERG, ALL THIS MEANS IS YOU'RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO STUDY A LITTLE BIT MORE.

OR...

FIND OUT WHO'S NUMBER ONE AND TAKE 'EM DOWN.

YES. YOU'RE MATURING NICELY.

HERE YOU GO, SHARON.

W-W-WAIT.

GIVE MY ORDER TO THAT GUY.

OK. WHY?

JUST DO IT.

GOT YOUR CHOPPED SALAD.

I DIDN'T ORDER A CHOPPED SALAD.

CHOPPED SALAD?

OH! THAT'S MINE.

THEY'RE SUCH IDIOTS HERE.

HI. I'M SHARON.

UH... DEFINITELY NOT A CHOPPED SALAD.

DEF... DEFINITELY NOT A CHOPPED SALAD.

YEAH.

YEAH.

HOW YOU DOIN'? I'M TIM.

I KNOW THIS SOUNDS LAME, BUT WHERE DO I KNOW YOU FROM?

I TEND BAR AT MAHONEY'S A COUPLE NIGHTS A WEEK.

OH, WHAT A COINCIDENCE.

I TEND TO DRINK THERE A COUPLE OF NIGHT'S A WEEK.

HERE YOU GO. SO SORRY ABOUT THE MIX-UP, MAN.

I JUST CAN'T GET ALL THESE ORDERS STRAIGHT.

LISTEN, I'LL BE THERE ON WEDNESDAY NIGHT.

IF YOU'RE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD, JUST DROP BY.

WELL, YEAH. MAYBE.

SO WE'RE GOIN' TO MAHONEY'S WEDNESDAY NIGHT?

OH, YEAH.

WHAT?

I DON'T KNOW.

THERE'S SOMETHIN' DIFFERENT ABOUT YOU.

YOU LOOK... SMALLER.

YOU TOLD HER, DIDN'T YOU?

MAYBE.

BERG, THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING NUMBER 2.

I MEAN, JUST AS MANY PEOPLE REMEMBER THE SECOND MAN ON THE MOON.

CAPTAIN, UH... WHAT'S-HIS-FACE.

YEAH?

WELL, YOUR CHEMICAL COMPANY...

DESTROYS THE PLANET!

TRUE, BUT WE'RE NUMBER ONE AT IT.

COME ON, BERG. DON'T TAKE IT SO SERIOUSLY, MAN.

IT'S JUST ONE TEST, AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

IF IT BOTHERS YOU SO MUCH, WHY DON'T YOU TRY STUDYIN' A LITTLE HARDER?

OH, PLEASE. IF ALL IT TOOK WAS STUDYING,

ANY IDIOT COULD BECOME A DOCTOR.

THE CRUCIAL PART IS THE MENTAL GAME.

IT'S WHAT SEPARATES US FROM THE DENTISTS,

BUT THAT'S OK BECAUSE I HAVE A PLAN. NOW, I GUARANTEE YOU

THE GUY THAT BEAT ME IS IN THAT STUDY GROUP.

WHY?

ALL THEY DO IS STUDY.

THEY'RE PATHETIC.

YEAH. YEAH, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

I MEAN, THAT'S WHO I WANT OPERATING ON ME,

YOU KNOW, THE GUY WHO JUST WINGS IT.

HEY, FELLAS, I'M GLAD YOU CAME IN.

WE WOULDN'T HAVE IF YOU HADN'T GIVEN US THOSE COUPONS.

HEY, YOU KNOW, WE'RE MEDICAL STUDENTS.

WE SHOULD HELP EACH OTHER.

YOU'RE NOT SEEING MY NOTES.

THAT'S THE SPIRIT.

SO, UH, I GUESS YOU GUYS DID PRETTY GOOD ON THE TEST, HUH?

WE DIDN'T... BUT THIS GUY...

MR. NUMBER ONE HIMSELF!

KAMEN.

PLEASE, NO APPLAUSE.

THANK YOU.

HA HA.

LISTEN, KAMEN, UM...

I'M JUST AT A BIT OF A CRITICAL POINT HERE.

I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN HACK IT.

IS THERE ANY WAY I CAN TALK TO YOU IN PRIVATE FOR A SECOND?

WELL, OK...

BUT YOU'RE NOT GETTING MY NOTES.

YES, KAMEN.

LISTEN, UH... HOW DO YOU DO IT?

I MEAN, WHEN I TAKE A TEST, I JUST GET SO NERVOUS, YOU KNOW?

EVERY QUESTION, I START THINKING, "WHAT IF I'M WRONG?

"DOES THIS MEAN I'M GONNA BE WRONG

WHEN I GET MY HAND IS SOME GUY'S CHEST?"

IT'S ONLY A TEST. THEY'RE JUST QUESTIONS.

OH, BUT THEY'RE NOT JUST QUESTIONS.

KAMEN, THEY'RE DECISIONS.

I LOOK AT A TEST, AND I SEE A HUMAN BODY IN FRONT OF ME.

I SEE SOMEBODY'S MOTHER, SOMEBODY'S FATHER,

SOMEBODY'S CHILD.

GEE, I NEVER THOUGHT OF IT THAT WAY.

OH, YOU HAVE TO.

I MEAN, YOU CHOOSE "B" INSTEAD OF "C" AND YOU'RE WRONG,

LITTLE JIMMY CAN'T PLAY KICKBALL ANYMORE.

OH, MY GOD.

SO THE NEXT TIME YOU TAKE A TEST, YOU JUST REMEMBER...

SCALPELS DON'T HAVE ERASERS.

ANYWAY, ENJOY THE PIZZA!

BERG, HOW'D IT GO?

OH, IT'S NOT POSTED YET, BUT I'M NOT TOO WORRIED.

BY THE END OF THE TEST, KAMEN WAS IN THE FETAL POSITION.

HI, THERE.

CAN I BORROW YOUR PEN?

THAT DEPENDS.

WERE YOU PLANNING ON WRITING YOUR PHONE NUMBER DOWN WITH IT?

MY MOTHER WARNED ME ABOUT GUYS LIKE YOU.

HERE'S MY NUMBER.

TSK TSK TSK TSK... KEEP THE PEN.

THAT WAS UNBELIEVABLE.

YOU WERE SO SMOOTH I ALMOST GAVE YOU MY NUMBER.

THAT'S THE KIND OF CONFIDENCE YOU GET

WHEN YOUR BUILDING TAKES SECOND PLACE.

WHAT? NUMBER 2.

NUMERO DOS.

HEY, GOOD FOR YOU.

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE REALLY COMIN' INTO YOUR OWN THERE.

YOU'RE LIKE ONE OF THOSE SUPERMODELS THAT WAS UGLY IN HIGH SCHOOL.

SEE SOMETHIN' YOU LIKE?

WOW, WHERE'D YOU GET THAT LINE?

'CAUSE YOU NEED TO GIVE IT BACK.

OH, SWING AND A MISS.

AH, YOU DON'T SEE THAT HAPPEN VERY OFTEN, FOLKS.

OUT OF MY WAY.

COMIN' THROUGH. COMIN' THROUGH.

Kamen: OH, MY GOD.

NO!

HEY. HEY, HEY, KAMEN, WHAT'S THE MATTER?

I DID TERRIBLY.

AH, SUCH IS LIFE.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT A MINUTE.

"8-6-3-1." YOU'RE STILL ON TOP.

THAT'S NOT ME.

BUT YOU...

BUT YOU SAID YOU WERE NUMBER ONE, KAMEN.

NUMBER ONE IN MY STUDY GROUP.

I WAS 24th IN THE CLASS.

NOW I DROPPED TO 50th.

OOPS.

THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, BERG.

YOU PSYCHED ME OUT.

I PSYCHED YOU OUT.

YOU'RE DEAD, BERG! YOU HEAR ME?

W-WHOA... YEAH. DEAD!

NICE ATTITUDE FOR A DOCTOR!

Woman: NUMBER ONE 2 WEEKS IN A ROW.

THE BEST PART ABOUT IT IS, IT'S EASY TO FIND MY SCORE.

ALL RIGHT, ASHLEY.

I HAVE TO STUDY WITH YOU NEXT TIME.

I DON'T BELIEVE THAT WOMAN.

SHE MADE ME RUIN KAMEN'S LIFE FOR NOTHIN'.

YEAH.

EXCUSE ME. HEY, REMEMBER ME?

THE GUY WITH THE DAZZLING SMILE?

OH, YEAH.

GO LIKE THIS.

WHAT? I GOT SOMETHING IN MY TOOTH?

NOPE. NOW GO AWAY.

SO, UM, YOU WERE NUMBER ONE,

I GUESS, IN YOUR STUDY GROUP?

NUMBER ONE IN THE CLASS.

SUSAN, PLEASE.

FOR 2 WEEKS IN A ROW.

ASHLEY, RIGHT?

UH-HUH.

CAN I TALK TO YOU IN PRIVATE FOR A SECOND?

LISTEN, UH...

HOW DO YOU DO IT?

I MEAN, WHEN I TAKE A TEST I JUST GET SO NERVOUS, YOU KNOW?

EVERY QUESTION I START THINKIN', "WHAT IF I'M WRONG?

"DOES THIS MEAN I'M GONNA BE WRONG

WHEN I GOT MY HAND IN SOME GUY'S CHEST?"

IT PROBABLY DOES.

NO. I'M GONNA MAKE A GOOD DOCTOR.

I JUST MEAN WHEN I'M TAKIN' A TEST.

SEE, THEY'RE NOT JUST QUESTIONS.

THEY'RE DECISIONS.

I LOOK AT A TEST, AND I SEE A HUMAN BODY IN FRONT OF ME.

I SEE SOMEBODY'S MOTHER, SOMEBODY'S FATHER,

SOMEBODY'S CHILD.

OH, MY GOD, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.

YOU WANT ME TO TUTOR YOU.

I MOST CERTAINLY DO NOT.

SWING AND A MISS. STRIKE 2.

DON'T BE EMBARRASSED.

I WORK WITH REMEDIAL STUDENTS ALL THE TIME.

REMEDIAL.

REMEDIAL?

IT MEANS SLOWER.

I SHOULD HAVE GUESSED THE FIRST TIME YOU STARTED SPEAKING TO ME,

ALL THAT BRAVADO COVERING YOUR INSECURITY.

THERE IS NOTHING UNDERNEATH MY BRAVADO.

LISTEN, HERE'S MY CARD.

CALL ME. I CAN HELP.

BYE.

I LOVE BEIN' NUMBER 2.

BERG, WHAT DOES THIS OUTFIT SAY TO YOU?

I'M NOT IN THE MOOD TO LISTEN TO YOUR CLOTHES RIGHT NOW.

COME ON. I WANNA LOOK GREAT FOR PETE'S PARTY TONIGHT.

PETE'S PARTY?

YEAH. HE'S NUMBER 2.

WE'RE GONNA CELEBRATE AT MAHONEY'S,

AND IF TIM THE BARTENDER PLAYS HIS CARDS RIGHT,

HE'LL BE GETTING A 5'5" TIP.

OOH, PETE... WHAT DO THESE SAY TO YOU?

HEE-HAW.

HEY.

HEY.

WHATCHA DOIN'?

NOTHIN'. YOU KNOW, I USED TO BE ABLE TO SOLVE THIS...

WITH MY FEET.

HEH. THERE YA GO.

WOW, YOU JUST DID IT SO... EEH!

COME ON, BERG.

YOU GOT IT STARTED FOR ME!

COME ON. WHAT'S GOIN' ON WITH YOU?

NOTHING.

WHAT ABOUT THIS ONE?

HOOKER.

HIGH-CLASS OR STREET?

JERRY SPRINGER.

BERG, WHAT'S GOIN' ON WITH YOU?

THAT! THAT'S WHAT'S GOIN' ON!

WHAT?

DON'T YA FEEL IT?

FEEL WHAT?

THE STRANGE ANGLE THE UNIVERSE IS ON.

EVERYTHING'S UPSIDE-DOWN.

BLACK IS WHITE. NORTH IS SOUTH. SHIRTS ARE PANTS.

MY LIFE IS IN A TAILSPIN!

ALL BECAUSE I'M NUMBER 2.

I'M NUMBER 2.

BUT YOU'RE ON THE WAY UP!

WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

IF YOU REALLY WANNA BEAT ASHLEY,

WHY DON'T YOU TRY STUDYING THE MATERIAL MORE THAN ONCE?

OH, COME ON.

BERG, YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK? I THINK YOU'RE AFRAID.

I THINK YOU'RE AFRAID TO TRY

BECAUSE IF YOU TRY AND SHE STILL BEATS YOU,

THEN YOU WON'T HAVE AN EXCUSE.

I THINK YOU ARE SO WRONG.

I ALWAYS HAVE AN EXCUSE.

FINE, FINE, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?

I BET YOU THAT ASHLEY'S AT THE LIBRARY RIGHT NOW STUDYING,

AND THAT'S WHY SHE'S GONNA BE NUMBER ONE AND YOU'RE NOT.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

YOU'RE RIGHT. I...

I'VE GOTTA FIND A WAY TO GET ASHLEY TO STOP STUDYING.

THANKS, PETE.

BERG!

ALL RIGHT?

WHAT DOES THIS SAY?

DESPERATE.

OK! I'VE GOT SHOES THAT GO WITH DESPERATE.

PETE, I THINK IT'S GREAT THAT YOU CAME IN SECOND,

BUT DID YOU HAVE TO BRING IT WITH YOU?

THIS IS EVERY BIT HER MOMENT AS IT IS MINE.

HERE YOU GO.

EXCUSE ME. I DIDN'T ORDER THAT.

I KNOW. IT'S FROM THE YOUNG LADY AT THE END OF THE BAR.

NUMBER 2 STRIKES AGAIN.

SO YOU DECIDED TO STOP BY.

OH, RIGHT... TIM. TIM!

FORGOT YOU WORK HERE SOMETIMES.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

YOU HAD ME CALL AND MAKE SURE... SHIN!

I'LL HAVE A CAPE COD.

HEY, YOU GUYS.

HEY! HEY! HI.

ASHLEY, THIS IS SHARON, AND THAT'S PETE.

HI, SHARON AND PETE.

THIS IS ASHLEY, AND SHE'S MY NEW TUTOR.

YOUR WHAT?

TUTOR.

I BUMPED INTO HER AT THE LIBRARY,

AND WE THOUGHT WE'D JUST TAKE A LITTLE BREAK

AND COME BY AND CONGRATULATE YOU.

CONGRATULATIONS.

THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SEC?

EXCUSE US.

OK, WHATEVER YOU'RE DOIN', I DON'T WANT ANY PART OF IT.

BUT IT WAS YOUR PLAN. WHAT PLAN?

TO FIND ASHLEY IN THE LIBRARY

AND GET HER DRUNK SO SHE CAN'T STUDY.

I ADDED THE "GET HER DRUNK SO SHE CAN'T STUDY" PART.

WHAT'S GOIN' ON?

HE'S RUINING THIS GIRL'S LIFE SO HE WON'T HAVE TO STUDY.

AS LONG AS I'M IN THE LOOP.

ALL RIGHT, TEAM, LET'S GO IN THERE, AND GET HER LIQUORED.

COME ON.

HERE YOU GO.

OH!

THANKS.

LISTEN, DO YOU MIND IF I ASK YOU A QUESTION?

OH, SURE.

ANYTHING.

WHAT'S YOUR FRIEND'S NAME? SHE'S REALLY CUTE.

HER NAME IS ASHLEY.

KEEP FEEDING HER DRINKS UNTIL HER HEAD HITS THE TABLE.

ASHLEY.

OK, NO.

NO, NO.

NO. NO, NO.

NO, NO, NO.

OK, I'M NOT PROUD OF EITHER OF YOU.

ASHLEY, ASHLEY, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR STOPPIN' BY,

BUT I DON'T WANNA KEEP YOU FROM THE LIBRARY.

SO, UM, THIS MODEL ACTUALLY TOOK SECOND PLACE.

YEP. NUMBER 2, AND THAT'S OUT OF 200, BY THE WAY,

BUT LISTEN, I DON'T WANNA KEEP YOU GUYS FROM STUDYING.

AND, UH, THE, UH, STRUCTURAL FLAW DIDN'T BOTHER THEM?

WHAT FLAW? THAT'S A PERFECTLY SOUND BUILDING.

OK. COME ON, BERG. WE SHOULD GET GOIN'.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT WAIT.

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE FLAW?

THERE... THERE IS NO FLAW.

I MEAN, I DEFY YOU TO FIND A FLAW.

WELL, A STRONG ENOUGH WIND COULD... PUHH... BLOW IT RIGHT OVER.

WHAT? ARE YOU KIDDIN' ME?

YOU'RE A MED STUDENT. WHAT THE HELL DO YOU KNOW ABOUT ARCHITECTURE?

WELL, MY FATHER'S AN ARCHITECT.

WELL, MY MOTHER'S A WOMAN, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I UNDERSTAND THEM.

IT'S TRUE. HE REALLY DOESN'T.

I DIDN'T MEAN TO START ANYTHING.

SEE, YOU DIDN'T START ANYTHING BECAUSE YOU'RE WRONG.

YOU'RE COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY WRONG.

WRONG, WRONG. WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!

AND SO'S YOUR DAD.

SEE... THERE?

NOTHIN'.

ACTUALLY, I WAS TALKING ABOUT BLOWING FROM THIS ANGLE,

LIKE THIS.

I'M SORRY. PHYSICS CAN BE SO CRUEL.

OK, I'M IN.

TEQUILA SHOTS ALL AROUND!

LOOK AT THAT GUY. PFFT!

I'M GLAD WE'RE NEVER GOIN' OUT.

DO YOU KNOW HE STILL LIVES WITH HIS MOTHER?

HOW DID YOU FIND THAT OUT?

I'M JUST GUESSIN'.

YOU KNOW, IF THIS BUILDING HAD BEEN REAL,

I WOULD BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE DEATHS OF THOUSANDS.

AND, LOOK, IT FELL ON A LITTLE SCHOOL BUS.

OH, GEE, I'M SORRY.

I'VE WORN OUT THE CORK IN THE BULL'S-EYE.

MAYBE WE SHOULD TRY PINBALL.

BOY, YOU GOT MY NUMBER.

SHOT?

ABSOLUTELY.

I CAN SHOT JUST AS MANY DRINKS AS YOU.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. I GOT THAT BACKWARDS.

I MEANT I CAN SHOT JUST AS MANY DRINKS AS YOU.

WELL, I SHOULD BE GOIN'.

IT'S GETTIN' PRETTY LATE.

OH, SHOOT, WE KEPT YOU OUT ALL NIGHT,

AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN GET A CHANCE TO STUDY FOR TOMORROW'S TEST.

SHOOT, SHOOT, SHOOT.

OH, I STUDIED FOR THAT ALREADY.

YOU DID?

WELL, THEN, I'M SORRY I GOT YOU SO DRUNK.

I TELL YA,

THERE'S NOTHIN' WORSE THAN TAKIN' THAT TEST WITH A HANGOVER.

OH, IT'S OK.

APPLE JUICE DOESN'T GIVE YOU A HANGOVER.

APPLE JUICE.

YOU HAVE NOT BEEN DRINKING APPLE JUICE.

OH!

YOU'VE BEEN DRINKIN' APPLE JUICE!

WELL, OF COURSE I HAVE.

WHAT KIND OF A MORON WOULD DRINK THE NIGHT BEFORE A TEST?

OH! OH, WAIT.

THERE IS ONE I CAN THINK OF... MR. 9201.

YOU KNOW MY STUDENT I.D. NUMBER?

GOTTA KNOW THE COMPETITION.

YOU!

YOU KNEW WHO I WAS, AND YOU JUST PLAYED ALONG ANYWAY.

THAT IS SO LOW.

OH, BUT MY SCORES ARE SO HIGH.

BELIEVE ME, BERG. I SAW YOU COMIN' A MILE AWAY,

EVEN BEFORE YOU TRIED THAT LAME PICK-UP LINE.

I'M SORRY. BEFORE?

YOU MEAN, YOU NOTICED ME?

YEAH, I NOTICED YOU.

I FOUND YOU TO BE RUDE AND ARROGANT,

AND IT MADE ME REALLY, REALLY HAPPY

TO BE THE ONE TO TAKE YOU DOWN A PEG.

BY GOING OUT WITH ME?

OH, WHEN DID I "GO OUT" WITH YOU?

WELL, WE'RE AT A BAR.

WE'RE PLAYING DARTS, ASHLEY.

OH, WAIT. I ONLY PLAYED ALONG WITH YOU

TO GET YOU TOO DRUNK TO TAKE THE TEST TOMORROW.

IF THAT'S ALL YOU WANTED,

YOU COULD HAVE LEFT 2 HOURS AGO.

SO... SO WHAT'S YOUR POINT?

I THINK YOU KINDA LIKE ME.

GOOD LUCK ON THE TEST TOMORROW, BERG.

YOU'LL NEED IT. GEEZ!

ASHLEY... JUST ONE MORE QUESTION.

WHAT?

DO YOU EVER CATCH YOURSELF JUST GAZING AT ME?

THANKS FOR THE APPLE JUICE.

I'M NOT PAYING FOR THE TUTORING!

OH, THIS WAS A GREAT EVENING.

DID YOU GET THE BUILDING KILLER DRUNK?

NO. SHE'S NOT DRUNK.

SHE STUDIED FOR THE TEST TOMORROW, AND SHE'S GOING TO BURY ME.

THEN WHAT'S WITH THE BIG, STUPID SMILE?

I REALIZED SOMETHING TONIGHT.

ASHLEY IS THE MOST DEVIOUS, CONNIVING, DOUBLE-CROSSING WOMAN I'VE EVER MET,

AND, UH... WE MUST HAVE CHILDREN TOGETHER.

WHEN THEY GO TO SCHOOL,

DON'T LET THEM PARK THE BUS NEAR PETE'S BUILDING.

COME ON, BUDDY. DRINK UP.

TIME TO GO HOME.

HE'S DEAD.

I'M TELLING YOU.

HE'S DEAD!

YEAH. DEAD! DEAD!