Original subtitles

HEY, PETE. WHAT YA DOIN'?

READING.

YOU WANNA DO SOMETHING?

BERG, I HAVE TO STUDY.

I'M BORED.

WELL, TOUGH.

HEY, I BET YOU CAN'T LIFT

THAT GARBAGE CAN OVER YOUR HEAD.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

OF COURSE I CAN. IT'S EMPTY.

OH, THERE WAS A TIME WHEN YOU COULD.

WHEN YOU WERE, YOU KNOW... IN SHAPE.

BERG, I'M IN GREAT SHAPE.

OK, PETE.

NO BIG DEAL.

HEY, LOOK HOW STRONG I AM!

I HATE YOU SO MUCH.

BERG... SAY HELLO TO THE ALPHA-STAT 100.

HELLO.

WE CAN NOW WATCH WHAT WE WANT WHEN WE WANT

FROM ANY CORNER OF THE EARTH.

ALL CRAMMED INTO A 12-INCH SCREEN.

YEAH.

I PERSONALLY RECONSTRUCTED IT

FROM THE ORIGINAL SCHEMATICS.

I ADDED A SIGNAL BOOSTER,

USED GOLD-PLATED CO-AX,

AND REPLACED THE ORIGINAL ALUMINUM ALLOY

WITH A TITANIUM STEEL COATING.

ONE THING... SHOULDN'T IT BE FACING...

AWAY FROM THE BUILDING?

OK, KLAUS BUDDY,

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS GET THE BALL.

I KNOW YOU'RE A FISH, BUT DON'T LET THAT HOLD YOU BACK.

NO PRESSURE.

JUST HAVE FUN.

FETCH, KLAUS.

THAT'S OK, BUDDY. SWIM IT OFF.

WE'LL GET 'EM NEXT TIME.

BERG, YOU'VE BEEN WORKING WITH KLAUS FOR 9 WEEKS.

ALL YOU ARE TO HIM IS A BIG, BIG FACE.

DID I MENTION THAT THIS CAN SWING ME A THOUSAND-DOLLAR GRANT

FROM THE SOCIETY OF ANIMAL RESEARCH?

DON'T JUST SWIM THERE, YOU LAZY SACK OF SCALES.

FETCH.

ALPHA-STAT 100 FIRMLY FASTENED TO THE ROOF.

PETE DUNVILLE...

FIRMLY FASTENED TO THE COUCH.

JUST TURN ME OVER EVERY 2 DAYS.

PETE, YOU CAN'T RUN THE CABLE THROUGH THE HALL.

I HAD NO CHOICE. THE WINDOWS ARE PAINTED SHUT,

AND THE NEW LANDLORD WON'T RETURN MY PHONE CALLS.

I LEFT HIM, LIKE, 5 MESSAGES.

YEAH, WELL, HE DOESN'T TAKE CALLS.

I HEAR YOU HAVE TO SUBMIT

EVERYTHING TO HIM IN WRITING.

WHAT'S HE LOOKING FOR, A PEN PAL?

HE CAN PICK UP A PHONE.

LIFE!

GIVE MY TV LIFE!

KEEP IT DOWN, WILL YA?

GREAT. NOW HE'S HIDING IN THE CASTLE.

BERG, IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOUR FISH IS STUPID.

OH, THAT'S PRETTY TOUGH TALK, PETE.

I'D LIKE TO SEE YA TELL HIM THAT TO THE SIDE OF HIS FACE.

YES, YES, THE BRUINS GAME.

WHY IS THE BRUINS GAME IN RUSSIAN?

'CAUSE IT'S BLACKED OUT IN BOSTON,

SO I MUST BE GETTING THE FEED FROM MOSCOW.

SO YOU'RE PRETTY MUCH DONE WITH THE OUTSIDE WORLD?

YOU BETCHA. SCORE. BERG, HOW DO YOU SAY "SCORE" IN RUSSIAN?

VLAST.

VLASTO!

UH, PETE, THE TV SEEMS TO BE LEAVING.

SEE, KLAUS? THAT'S HOW YOU FETCH.

IT TOOK ME 7 HOURS TO HAUL AND INSTALL THAT THING,

AND NOW IT'S GONE WITHOUT A TRACE.

I MEAN, WHO WOULD DO THIS?

OUR NEW LANDLORD.

YOU VIOLATED THE BUILDING UNIFORMITY CODE.

WHAT?

"THE BUILDING SHALL BE UNIFORM IN EVERY WAY.

"ALL COMMON AREAS... HALLWAYS, STOOPS, ROOFTOPS...

SHALL REMAIN FREE OF CLUTTER..."

HE STOLE MY SATELLITE DISH.

"INCLUDING PLANTS, WREATHS, AND WELCOME MATS.

HAVE A NICE DAY, EDGAR J. HAGGERTY."

WHAT KIND OF GUY DOESN'T LIKE WELCOME MATS?

GUESSIN' THE SAME GUY

WHO COULD RIP OUT A 200-POUND SATELLITE DISH

AND SCALE DOWN THE SIDE OF A BUILDING?

MAYBE ALL THOSE STORIES I HEARD ABOUT HAGGERTY ARE TRUE.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

REMEMBER MARCO, THE STUTTERING MIME IN 3B?

RETILED HIS BATHROOM WITHOUT PERMISSION.

HASN'T BEEN HEARD FROM SINCE.

HE'S A MIME.

I'M NOT KIDDING.

THIS HAGGERTY GUY HAS NEVER SHOWN HIS FACE AROUND HERE,

YET HE KNOWS EVERYTHING THAT'S GOIN' ON.

ALL RIGHT. SO WE'RE BACK DOWN TO 80 CHANNELS,

JUST LIKE THE AMISH.

THAT'S NOT THE POINT.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? WHAT'S DONE IS DONE.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT'S DONE IS DONE?

YOU KNOW, QUE SERA, SERA.

NO USE CRYING OVER SPILLED MILK.

HAKUNA MATATA. PICK YOUR FAVORITE.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

BERG, YOU CAN'T JUST HAKUNA MATATA YOUR WAY THROUGH LIFE.

SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO STAND UP FOR WHAT'S RIGHT.

HE'S THE LANDLORD, PETE.

IT'S HIS PLACE. HE MAKES THE RULES.

HIS RULES ARE WRONG. THIS IS OUR HOME. WE LIVE HERE.

HAGGERTY CAN'T JUST STEAL

OUR SATELLITE DISHES AND OUR WELCOME MATS.

I GOT AN IDEA. LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS INSIDE.

NO. THE BUILDING WAS FINE

BEFORE THAT GUY CAME AROUND, RIGHT?

NOW HE'S GONNA WALK AROUND

AND DICTATE A BUNCH OF NEW RULES?

NEXT THING YOU KNOW, WE WON'T BE ALLOWED TO PEE IN THE SHOWER.

ALL RIGHT, LOOK.

I'M GONNA SHOW THIS HAGGERTY WHO HE'S MESSIN' WITH.

YOU DON'T JUST PUSH PETE DUNVILLE AROUND.

NOW, ARE YOU GUYS IN?

I'M OUT. I'LL SEE YA INSIDE.

BILL, YA HAD TO SEE IT.

AS GOD IS MY WITNESS, 3 TIMES IN A ROW

LITTLE KLAUS SWAM OVER AND FINALLY FETCHED THE BALL BACK.

FASCINATING. NOW SHOVEL THE DAMN SIDEWALK.

IT'S STILL SNOWING.

LAST TIME I SAW A SNOWSTORM THIS BAD,

I WAS TRAVELING IN SOUTH AMERICA.

WE JUST FINISHED A SOCCER MATCH IN BOLIVIA,

HEADED HOME TO CHILE.

BAUER... PLANE CRASHED IN THE ANDES.

WE WERE STRANDED FOR WEEKS WITHOUT FOOD.

BAUER...

WE WERE FORCED TO EAT THE GOALTENDER.

HE WAS A RUGGED NET MINDER, BUT A DELICATE MEAL.

UH, PLEASE COME AGAIN

AND BE CAREFUL ON THE SIDEWALK.

IT'S SLIPPERY.

WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO? IT WAS JOSé OR STARVE.

IT'S NOT A MOMENT I'M PARTICULARLY PROUD OF.

AND OF COURSE, NUTRITIONALLY,

THERE'S NOT MUCH TO BE SAID FOR IT.

WELL, LOOK WHO DECIDED TO SHOW UP FOR WORK.

I'M SORRY, BILL, BUT I'M IN THE MIDST OF A REVOLUTION.

REALLY? YEAH.

SHOVEL THE DAMN SIDEWALK.

HEY. I JUST LEFT HAGGERTY A LITTLE MESSAGE

TO SHOW HIM WHAT I FEEL ABOUT HIS UNIFORMITY CODE.

WHAT DOES THIS SAY TO YOU?

WELCOME?

NO. IT SAYS FREEDOM.

I HOPE YOU KEPT YOUR RECEIPT

BECAUSE I'M PRETTY SURE IT SAYS WELCOME.

I LEFT A WELCOME MAT IN FRONT OF EVERY DOOR IN OUR ENTIRE BUILDING.

HE WANTS UNIFORMITY, HE'S GOT IT.

AND TO SHOW HIM I REALLY MEAN BUSINESS... HA HA! A WREATH!

YEAH, YOU DON'T WANNA MESS WITH A MAN WHO CARRIES A WREATH.

HMM. NOW WE'LL SEE HOW FAST

HAGGERTY GETS BACK TO ME.

OK, IT HAS STOPPED SNOWING.

WHO'S GONNA SHOVEL THE SIDEWALK?

ME! ME! I GET TO.

NO, I GET TO DO IT.

YOU DID IT LAST TIME. NO, YOU DID.

THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO SETTLE THIS THING FAIRLY.

NEITHER OF US GETS TO SHOVEL THE WALK.

AW, NUTS.

ALL RIGHT, YOU CAN EITHER SHOVEL THE WALK,

OR YOU CAN DIG YOUR OWN GRAVES.

I'LL JUST LEAVE THIS HERE.

SHARON, I SEE YOU HAVE A FREEDOM MAT.

OW.

YOU AND YOUR STUPID WELCOME MATS.

THIS NOTE WAS TAPED TO THE WALL BY THE MAILBOXES.

"ATTENTION... UNTIL THE TENANT IN 1A

"PERSONALLY CORRECTS HIS VIOLATION OF THE UNIFORMITY CODE,

"THE HEAT SHALL REMAIN OFF IN THE ENTIRE BUILDING.

HAVE A NICE DAY, EDGAR J. HAGGERTY."

FREEDOM!

MAN, WHEN THE PEOPLE IN OUR BUILDING COME HOME...

IF I WERE YOU, I'D PICK UP THOSE MATS RIGHT NOW

AND GET RID OF THOSE BUTT-UGLY WREATHS.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST PICK THEM UP?

WHAT, AND GET ON HAGGERTY'S BAD SIDE?

UH-UH. FORGET IT.

He knows all.

He knows all, huh?

ASK HIM WHY I'M SLICING MY 3-IRON.

FINE. FINE. I'LL DO IT AFTER WORK,

BUT HAGGERTY HAS NOT HEARD THE LAST OF ME.

BILL, WHAT? I WAS JUST OUT THERE. IT'S NOT ICY AT ALL.

OH, YEAH?

I CAN'T WAIT.

KLAUS IS GONNA LIGHT UP WHEN HE SEES HIS NEW MERMAID.

OK, THIS IS THE LAST ONE.

WAS THAT THE HEAT?

MAYBE HE DOES KNOW ALL.

OHH.

WELL, LOOKS LIKE HAGGERTY

FINALLY GOT OUR WINDOWS UNSTUCK.

WE SHOULD GET HIM A LITTLE SOMETHING.

HE TOOK OUR WINDOWS.

BERG, THE MAN... HE CAME IN HERE, AND HE TOOK OUR WINDOWS.

"HAPPY TO SERVICE YOUR NEEDS.

"HAVE A NICE DAY... EDGAR J. HAGGERTY."

IT'S 2 DEGREES, AND HE TOOK OUR WINDOWS.

YA MENTIONED THAT.

I SUPPOSE YOU'RE GONNA LET THIS JUST ROLL OFF YOUR BACK.

OH, MY GOD.

WHAT?

WHAT IS IT?

KLAUS?

Berg: KLAUS!

PETE, ONE MORE TIME.

BILL, IT'S REALLY NOT THAT FUNNY.

AW, COME ON.

YOU WALKED INTO THE APARTMENT,

SNOW'S COVERING THE WHOLE PLACE...

BERG WIPED OFF THE GLASS,

AND KLAUS WAS LIKE... THAT CRACKS ME UP.

DO IT AGAIN.

BILL, I'M NOT DOIN' IT AGAIN.

THEN SHOVEL THE SIDEWALK.

BERG TOOK THIS REALLY HARD.

HE LOOKED AT ME, AND HE STORMED OUT,

AND I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM HIM SINCE,

AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT.

CALL ME IF YOU SEE HIM. ANYTHING?

NOTHING. BERNIE, FITZ, THE UNIVERSITY.

NOBODY'S SEEN HIM.

DID YOU TRY TOPLESS, TOPLESS, TOPLESS?

AMBER SAID HE WASN'T THERE.

TA-DA! HEY, DID YOU GET HIM?

YEAH. WHAT DO YOU THINK? DOES HE LOOK LIKE KLAUS?

AHH, I THINK. WHERE DID YOU GET HIM?

DON'T YOU RECOGNIZE HIM? IT'S HAROLD.

FROM MY KINDERGARTEN CLASS.

OH, HAROLD.

YEAH. I TOLD MY KIDS

HE WAS VISITING FAMILY AT SEA WORLD.

I DON'T THINK ANY FISH IS GONNA REPLACE KLAUS.

OH, HONEY, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.

ACTUALLY, IT'S ALL HIS FAULT.

I KNOW. I WAS JUST TRYING TO MAKE HIM FEEL BETTER.

OH, LOOK, SHARON'S RIGHT.

I MEAN, BERG'S OUT THERE, SOMEWHERE,

LOST, ALL BY HIMSELF,

WANDERING AROUND IN THE FREEZING COLD.

DID YOU TRY TOPLESS, TOPLESS, TOPLESS?

LOOK, I'M SURE HE'S FINE.

I WOULDN'T BE SO SURE.

I ONCE TOOK A JOB AS A WINTER CARETAKER

IN AN OLD HOTEL IN THE MOUNTAINS OF COLORADO.

I THOUGHT I COULD WORK ON MY NOVEL,

SPEND SOME QUALITY TIME WITH MY FAMILY.

ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MADE JACK A DULL BOY.

YES, THE COLD CAN DO STRANGE THINGS TO A MAN'S MIND.

BERG, THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE.

YOU'RE ALL RIGHT.

PETE, SHOW HIM THE FACE.

BERG, I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT KLAUS.

LOOK. LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK.

I KNOW IT'S NOT KLAUS, BUT I SEE POTENTIAL.

YOU WERE RIGHT. I'M SORRY, BERG.

LOOK. I ASKED FOR OUR WINDOWS BACK IN WRITING.

HAKUNA MATATA?

NO, PETE.

YOU WERE RIGHT ALL ALONG.

BERG, COME ON, HONEY, LET'S GET YOU OVER BY THE OVEN

AND THAW OUT YOUR BRAIN.

NO!

PETE DIDN'T KILL KLAUS. HAGGERTY DID.

HE STOLE OUR WINDOWS.

THAT IS AN ACT OF AGGRESSION.

THAT IS AN ACT OF WAR.

WELL, IF HE WANTS A WAR, HE'S GOT ONE.

WHO'S WITH ME?

I'M WITH YA.

I'M STILL OUT.

ALL RIGHT, ALMOST DONE.

OH, HEY, SHARON.

DID YOU GET OUR MESSAGE?

Both: YEAH.

OH, GOOD. HAGGERTY GAVE YOU YOUR DISH BACK.

LET'S JUST SAY WE FOUND IT.

MMM. LOCKED IN HIS STORAGE ROOM.

YOU GUYS. 3B, REMEMBER?

RETILED HIS BATHROOM, THEN BYE-BYE.

THIS GUY'S ALL SMOKE AND MIRRORS,

LIKE THE WIZARD OF OZ.

YEAH, AND WE ARE JUST THE GUYS

TO PULL BACK THE CURTAIN.

HEY, WHAT'S ALL THIS STUFF?

PRISONERS OF THE UNIFORMITY CODE.

UH, MY FICUS.

SEE?

DONE.

NOW LET'S GO GLUE DOWN SOME WELCOME MATS.

KLAUS WOULD'VE WANTED IT THAT WAY.

OH, NO.

NEED A NEW BULB.

WELL, BETTER PUT IT IN WRITING.

HAVE A NICE DAY, EDGAR J. HAGGERTY.

UH, GUYS, I THINK YOU BETTER TAKE A LOOK AT WHAT'S IN THIS FILE.

"THIRD-GENERATION WEST POINT,

TOP OF HIS CLASS, FOUGHT IN 3 WARS, GREEN BERET, CIA"?

OH, MAN.

YOU GUYS ARE SO 3B.

THEY'RE UP HERE.

WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM, MRS. HIMMELFARB?

YOU! HAGGERTY LEFT THIS NOTE.

HE SAYS WE DON'T GET OUR ELECTRICITY BACK

UNTIL YOU GO MEET WITH HIM.

WELL, DON'T YA SEE? HE'S CRAZY.

TODAY CAN BE OUR INDEPENDENCE DAY.

IF WE ALL BAND TOGETHER, WE CAN BEAT HIM.

WELL, WE'RE GOING TO BAND TOGETHER,

AND WE'RE GONNA BEAT YOU.

All: YEAH!

IS THERE AN ADDRESS IN THAT FILE?

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M TAKING YOU GUYS TO SEE HAGGERTY.

JUST DRIVE.

HAGGERTY WAS CLOSE, REAL CLOSE.

I COULDN'T SEE HIM YET, BUT I COULD FEEL HIM.

IT'S AS IF THE CAR WAS BEING SUCKED UP BY THE HIGHWAY,

AND THE PAVEMENT WAS FLOWING BACK INTO THE WOODS.

PART OF ME WAS AFRAID OF WHAT I WOULD FIND WHEN I GOT THERE.

THE THING I FELT MOST, STRONGER THAN FEAR,

WAS THE DESIRE TO CONFRONT HIM.

I CAN'T BELIEVE SHARON JUST DROVE BY THAT SPACE.

NOW, JUST REMEMBER... WE'RE IN THE RIGHT.

DEATH TO THE UNIFORMITY CODE.

AND WE STAND TOGETHER.

AND I'LL JUST BE IN THE CAR.

Haggerty: COME IN.

GENTLEMEN, MISS.

YEAH. ENOUGH WITH THE SMALL TALK, HAGGERTY.

YEAH. WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH DRAGGING US OUT HERE

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT?

MAY I OFFER YOU SOME CIDER AND HOMEMADE COOKIES?

WE DIDN'T COME HERE TO EAT COOKIES.

OH, I'LL HAVE ONE.

SO, YOU GOT MY NOTE.

WE GOT ALL YOUR NOTES.

VERY WELL-WRITTEN.

THANK YOU FOR COMING.

AND THANK YOU FOR SHUTTING OFF OUR LIGHT,

HEAT, AND HOT WATER.

HA HA. YOU KNOW, THIS IS THE BEST COOKIE I'VE EVER TASTED.

YOU USE WALNUTS AND PECANS!

I FIND IT HELPS THE TEXTURE OF THE COOKIE.

WAIT A MINUTE. 2 DIFFERENT KINDS OF NUTS.

DOESN'T THAT VIOLATE

YOUR STUPID UNIFORMITY CODE?

STUPID?

HEY, YOU KNOW, JUST GAVE 'EM A RIDE.

THE UNIFORMITY CODE IS FOR THE BENEFIT OF THE TENANTS.

WHAT POSSIBLE BENEFIT COULD THERE BE

FROM A BAN ON WELCOME MATS?

I ONCE OWNED A BUILDING FILLED WITH WELCOME MATS...

ASTROTURF, RUBBER, COCONUT WEAVE.

I ENJOYED THEM ALL.

THEN ONE DAY, A SWEET OLD LADY

TRIPPED ON ONE AND BROKE HER ANKLE.

I FELT MORALLY INCLINED TO PAY THE HOSPITAL BILL,

BUT I HAD TO RAISE THE RENT FOR EVERYONE.

OK, NO WELCOME MATS. THAT MAKES SENSE.

WELL, WAIT. WHAT ABOUT HIS SATELLITE DISH?

WHO'S GONNA TRIP OVER THAT?

ROOF OBSTRUCTIONS VIOLATE ZONING LAWS.

I COULD'VE FILED THE PAPERWORK AND GOTTEN YOU A WAIVER,

BUT YOU CLOWNS BUSTED RANKS.

NOW, ALL SAID AND DONE, I SAVED YOU A $300 FINE.

300 BUCKS?

HMM. HUH.

WAIT A MINUTE.

YOU STILL CAN'T JUST TURN OFF SOMEBODY'S HEAT

IN THE MIDDLE OF WINTER.

YEAH. WHAT CODE IS THAT?

SOMETIMES, GENTLEMEN, THE WAY TO DISCIPLINE THE PLATOON

IS TO HAVE THE PLATOON DISCIPLINE ITSELF.

OK, FINE. BUT WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH TAKING OUR WINDOWS?

I THOUGHT THAT WAS FUNNY.

YOU KILLED MY FISH.

AH, YES, KLAUS, THE FISH THAT FETCHED.

IT IS OFTEN THE INNOCENT THAT GET CAUGHT IN THE CROSSFIRE.

THE TRUTH IS, YOU ARE SLACKERS

WHO NEED TO TAKE STOCK OF WHO YOU ARE

AND WHAT TYPE OF PEOPLE YOU WANT TO BE.

WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, SIR...

YOU, BERGEN, ARE A RUDDERLESS SHIP.

EVER SINCE MARCH OF 1980, WHEN YOU ABANDONED THE CUB SCOUTS,

YOUR LIFE HAS BEEN A COURSELESS JOURNEY.

BUSINESS SCHOOL, LAW SCHOOL, NOW MEDICAL SCHOOL.

10 GIRLFRIENDS IN 6 MONTHS.

SON, YOUR LIFE LACKS STRUCTURE.

HE'S NOT WRONG.

YOU JUST ABANDONED THE CUB SCOUTS?

YOU, PRIVATE, WHEN ARE YOU GONNA LEARN

THAT YOU ARE NOT ALWAYS RIGHT?

WHO WERE YOU IN SEVENTH GRADE, AT THE AGE OF 12,

TO SHAKE OFF COACH MARINO'S BUNT SIGN

AND COST THE NATIONAL BANK TAGGERS

THE 1985 LITTLE LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP?

SAPERSTEIN HAD NOTHING LEFT.

HE WAS THROWING MEATBALLS.

DO YOU REALLY THINK A RESPECTABLE ARCHITECTURAL FIRM

WILL TOLERATE THE ARROGANCE AND DISRESPECT

YOU SHOW TO BILL?

I TOTALLY AGREE.

YOU ARE A KISS-ASS LITTLE SELLOUT

WHO DID THE DIRTY WITH THE EDITOR OF YOUR HIGH SCHOOL YEARBOOK

SO THAT YOUR PICTURE WOULD BE THE ONLY ONE IN COLOR.

ARE YOU GUYS GONNA LET HIM TALK TO ME LIKE THAT?

HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL THIS STUFF?

YEAH.

THAT IS NOT THE POINT.

POINT IS, YOU'RE GONNA GET THROUGH THIS LIFE AND HAVE WINDOWS,

YOU WILL LEARN TO LIVE BY THE RULES.

YOU WILL REMOVE THE SATELLITE DISH,

YOU WILL PUT IT IN THE STORAGE ROOM,

YOU WILL REPAIR THE LOCK ON THE DOOR,

AND YOU WILL STOP PEEING IN THE SHOWER.

ALL RIGHT, I'LL STOP.

SOUNDS FAIR.

AND THERE'S ONE MORE THING YOU WILL DO.

COME ON, YOU SLACKERS. YOU HEARD HAGGERTY.

2 INCHES FROM THE CURB.

WHAT HE'S GONNA DO,

COME OUT HERE AND MEASURE?

I WONDER WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO THEM.

ONCE YOU'VE GONE UPRIVER,

NOTHING'S EVER THE SAME.

THE HORROR.

LOOK AT ALL THESE CARS,

ALL WITH DIFFERENT PEOPLE IN 'EM,

EACH LEADING THEIR OWN LIVES,

EACH THINKING SEPARATE THOUGHTS.

MAN.

CAN ONE FIND LOVE IN A LOVELESS WORLD?

IS THERE ANY SUCH THING AS TRUE LOVE,

OR DO YOU JUST FIND SOMEONE

AND FIND TRUTH IN THAT LOVE?

♪ THERE WAS A FARMER HAD A DOG AND BINGO WAS HIS NAME-O ♪