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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:06,074 (groovy music) 2 00:00:11,312 --> 00:00:13,747 (bells ring) 3 00:00:17,051 --> 00:00:18,518 - Hi, Ava? 4 00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,120 - Hi, yeah you must be Ben. 5 00:00:20,121 --> 00:00:21,321 - Yeah, how are you? 6 00:00:21,322 --> 00:00:23,324 - I'm good, how are you? 7 00:00:27,628 --> 00:00:29,529 - How old are you? 8 00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:31,465 - I'm, uh, 40 friendly. 9 00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:34,334 - Have you ever been married? 10 00:00:34,335 --> 00:00:38,271 - Yes, married before and I'm actually 43 11 00:00:38,272 --> 00:00:41,541 but maybe we could slow down a little bit. 12 00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:44,111 - Do you wanna get married again? 13 00:00:44,112 --> 00:00:46,446 - I do, yes, of course. 14 00:00:46,447 --> 00:00:47,714 - [Ben] And children? 15 00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:49,682 - No children. 16 00:00:49,683 --> 00:00:51,451 - Do you wanna have them? 17 00:00:51,452 --> 00:00:53,954 (funky music) 18 00:01:30,858 --> 00:01:33,193 - [Girl Voiceover] This is a story about what happens 19 00:01:33,194 --> 00:01:34,295 to this baby. 20 00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:41,735 Our story takes place in the not distant future. 21 00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:45,372 - I'll do whatever it takes to keep this job, 22 00:01:45,373 --> 00:01:47,740 'cause I wanna excel. 23 00:01:47,741 --> 00:01:49,142 I wanna be part of the corporate elite, 24 00:01:49,143 --> 00:01:51,077 I don't wanna sit with the scum of the earth. 25 00:01:51,078 --> 00:01:52,146 Middle class. 26 00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:59,051 I wanna be on the winning team. 27 00:01:59,052 --> 00:02:00,720 - What's another name for the metal shackles 28 00:02:00,721 --> 00:02:03,291 slaves wear around their necks? 29 00:02:07,695 --> 00:02:08,862 - Blue collar? 30 00:02:09,897 --> 00:02:10,897 - Yeah. 31 00:02:12,333 --> 00:02:14,168 You get it, don't you? 32 00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:18,906 Babies that don't age. 33 00:02:20,341 --> 00:02:23,109 People called me crazy when I got into this business. 34 00:02:23,110 --> 00:02:26,313 Where's the profit in a business like that, they said. 35 00:02:26,314 --> 00:02:28,081 I said, I don't know. 36 00:02:28,949 --> 00:02:30,518 But look at us now. 37 00:02:35,323 --> 00:02:37,825 (fax beeping) 38 00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:49,436 - [Ben] Hey, sorry, I hate being late. 39 00:02:49,437 --> 00:02:50,737 - We should have brought her something. 40 00:02:50,738 --> 00:02:51,705 - No no no no no, she doesn't need anything, 41 00:02:51,706 --> 00:02:52,972 she doesn't like things. 42 00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:54,641 - What do you mean she doesn't like things? 43 00:02:54,642 --> 00:02:56,075 - My brother's a hoarder, he hoards things, 44 00:02:56,076 --> 00:02:57,977 he keeps like receipts and junk mail, 45 00:02:57,978 --> 00:02:59,546 piles of books, clothes. 46 00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:01,013 She doesn't like stuff, it reminds her of my brother. 47 00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:03,015 - Well flowers are nice, we could have brought her flowers. 48 00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,351 - Flowers remind her of funerals 49 00:03:04,352 --> 00:03:05,752 which remind her of death. 50 00:03:05,753 --> 00:03:09,423 I'm ringing, okay? (buzzing) 51 00:03:11,359 --> 00:03:13,192 You look pretty. - Hello? 52 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,395 - You look beautiful, you do, you do. 53 00:03:15,396 --> 00:03:16,629 - Thanks. 54 00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:17,565 - Just don't be nervous, she's gonna love you. 55 00:03:17,565 --> 00:03:18,232 - Hello? - I know it. 56 00:03:18,233 --> 00:03:19,432 Hey Ma, it's me. 57 00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:21,769 - Paul? - It's Ben, Mom, Ben. 58 00:03:30,378 --> 00:03:32,280 - Come in, have a seat. 59 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:34,213 - I, uh... 60 00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:44,592 (funky music) 61 00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:50,330 - Looks like a lot of fun in those pants. 62 00:03:50,331 --> 00:03:51,164 - Excuse me? - Sorry! 63 00:03:51,164 --> 00:03:52,164 He's sorry. 64 00:03:54,502 --> 00:03:57,770 - Like a lot of fun in those pants. 65 00:03:57,771 --> 00:03:58,971 Bubble ass. 66 00:03:58,972 --> 00:04:00,440 - He's sorry. - No I'm not. 67 00:04:00,441 --> 00:04:01,708 - You are, sorry. 68 00:04:01,709 --> 00:04:05,012 - Looks like a can of biscuits popping out. 69 00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:14,821 - You're embarrassing me. 70 00:04:14,822 --> 00:04:17,390 - Yeah you're a real paragon of virtue. 71 00:04:17,391 --> 00:04:18,392 - Thank you. 72 00:04:19,493 --> 00:04:20,560 What's paragon? 73 00:04:20,561 --> 00:04:22,062 - Shining example. 74 00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:25,799 Look it up, I can't be your OED. 75 00:04:27,435 --> 00:04:29,603 Oxford English Dictionary. 76 00:04:30,804 --> 00:04:32,705 - Saw one of those once. 77 00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:33,706 Neat. 78 00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:34,942 - Agreed, neat. 79 00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:39,812 A lot of what you say isn't, what's the word? 80 00:04:39,813 --> 00:04:40,814 Interesting. 81 00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:48,689 - Ben tells me you're a florist. 82 00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:56,564 - Ben tells me you hate flowers. 83 00:04:57,631 --> 00:05:00,667 - What kind of person hates flowers? 84 00:05:00,668 --> 00:05:03,002 Gosh Ben didn't happen to mention to you 85 00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:06,773 that I had both knees replaced last winter? 86 00:05:06,774 --> 00:05:08,608 Just like new. 87 00:05:08,609 --> 00:05:12,044 I can do everything you can do except that when I do it 88 00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:14,114 I'm in excruciating pain. 89 00:05:16,183 --> 00:05:19,085 - Ben, could you help me out a little bit here? 90 00:05:19,086 --> 00:05:21,354 - Yeah, uh Mom, don't do this. 91 00:05:21,355 --> 00:05:22,355 - Don't do what? 92 00:05:22,356 --> 00:05:23,623 - You gotta be nice. 93 00:05:23,624 --> 00:05:26,360 - So let me ask you Terry, Terry? 94 00:05:28,228 --> 00:05:29,096 - [Terry] Terry, yes. 95 00:05:29,097 --> 00:05:30,730 - Terry, let me ask you. 96 00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:35,635 What kind of career is that, making floral arrangements? 97 00:05:35,636 --> 00:05:38,004 - Well it's not so much a career as it is just a job. 98 00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:40,006 I went to college, I just have a semester left 99 00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:41,273 before I get my degree. 100 00:05:41,274 --> 00:05:42,442 - Yeah. 101 00:05:42,443 --> 00:05:44,176 I'm only asking because you look like 102 00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:47,847 you should be teaching school, but you're not. 103 00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:52,019 You're in school and you're making flower arrangements. 104 00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:57,323 - Well I'm actually majoring in French literature 105 00:05:57,324 --> 00:06:01,628 and I spent a little time abroad in between semesters. 106 00:06:01,629 --> 00:06:02,795 - Oh, do you speak French? 107 00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:03,863 - I do actually. 108 00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:05,132 - An attribute! 109 00:06:06,434 --> 00:06:10,103 (speaking foreign language) 110 00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:13,506 - More so than American culture? 111 00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:16,409 (speaking foreign language) 112 00:06:16,410 --> 00:06:17,444 - So you're a snob. 113 00:06:17,445 --> 00:06:21,114 (speaking foreign language) 114 00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:33,760 - That's just a typical American attitude. 115 00:06:33,761 --> 00:06:37,431 (speaking foreign language) 116 00:06:38,532 --> 00:06:40,166 - Look I don't wanna be rude... 117 00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:42,034 (speaking foreign language) 118 00:06:42,035 --> 00:06:42,870 - Why? 119 00:06:42,870 --> 00:06:43,870 - Why not? 120 00:06:45,338 --> 00:06:49,009 (speaking foreign language) 121 00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:52,112 (laughs) 122 00:07:23,711 --> 00:07:27,747 - Sounds like you two are having a nice talk. 123 00:07:27,748 --> 00:07:30,250 (light music) 124 00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:49,903 (phone ringing) 125 00:07:52,740 --> 00:07:54,507 - You couldn't even understand us! 126 00:07:54,508 --> 00:07:55,675 (phone ringing) 127 00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:57,143 - Yeah but your French sounded amazing. 128 00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:58,277 I had no idea you spoke so well, we could have used that. 129 00:07:58,278 --> 00:07:59,546 - Used it how? 130 00:07:59,547 --> 00:08:01,648 - [Ben] You know, on nights when... 131 00:08:01,649 --> 00:08:03,916 - [Terry] Please stop trying to be funny. 132 00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:06,452 - [Ben] I'm not trying. 133 00:08:06,453 --> 00:08:07,554 - [Terry] Why did you insist on us meeting 134 00:08:07,555 --> 00:08:09,856 if she's like this? 135 00:08:09,857 --> 00:08:11,123 - She's normally very sweet. 136 00:08:11,124 --> 00:08:12,324 - She didn't even give me a chance, 137 00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:13,325 she was just mean to me right from the gate. 138 00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:14,493 You know what? 139 00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:16,896 You guys have some serious Oedipal issues. 140 00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:19,265 - Oh, we should have prepared more. 141 00:08:19,266 --> 00:08:21,200 - What do you mean we should have prepared more? 142 00:08:21,201 --> 00:08:23,035 What am I like on trial? 143 00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:24,804 - That's one way to put it. 144 00:08:24,805 --> 00:08:25,973 - Hey, how so? 145 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,575 - This was important, you know? 146 00:08:28,576 --> 00:08:30,677 When I'm in a relationship... 147 00:08:30,678 --> 00:08:32,845 - Yeah, when you're in a relationship... 148 00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:35,114 - To a point in where you know 149 00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:37,684 for the relationship to proceed you have to meet my mother. 150 00:08:37,685 --> 00:08:38,851 - Okay well I met your mother. 151 00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:40,386 - Yes. - Yes. 152 00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:42,021 - Yes, no, but you know in order for the relationship 153 00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:44,056 to proceed... - Okay wait a second, hey. 154 00:08:44,057 --> 00:08:44,925 - Ow, what? 155 00:08:44,926 --> 00:08:46,125 Jesus. - Look at me. 156 00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:47,894 - I am, what? 157 00:08:47,895 --> 00:08:49,428 - What are you trying to say? 158 00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:50,963 You keep saying in order for the relationship to proceed, 159 00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:52,431 what does that mean? 160 00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:54,033 - No I mean in order for the relationship to proceed. 161 00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:55,635 I told you this already. 162 00:08:55,636 --> 00:09:00,306 My mother has to like you and don't make me say it, 163 00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:02,009 she doesn't like you. 164 00:09:03,644 --> 00:09:04,877 - Wait are you trying to break up with me 165 00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:07,046 because your mother doesn't like me? 166 00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:09,449 - Well I don't wanna do this. 167 00:09:10,584 --> 00:09:12,251 I don't wanna do this it's just that 168 00:09:12,252 --> 00:09:13,419 my mother's everything to me. 169 00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:14,821 (laughs) 170 00:09:14,822 --> 00:09:16,022 - Well your mother's a bitch. 171 00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:17,757 - Oh, come on, that's not nice. 172 00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:19,458 God I really don't like that kind of talk. 173 00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:20,793 Watch it, okay? 174 00:09:20,794 --> 00:09:22,028 See this never would have worked out anyway 175 00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:23,830 with that kind of pejorative attitude. 176 00:09:23,831 --> 00:09:24,665 - Are you... - This is for the best. 177 00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:25,498 - Are you kidding? 178 00:09:25,499 --> 00:09:26,733 You know what? 179 00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:27,900 You are the biggest dick I have ever met. 180 00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:28,901 - Sure. 181 00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,237 - [Terry] Jesus! 182 00:09:34,474 --> 00:09:36,408 - We had a good three months. 183 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:38,210 We were good right out of the gate, 184 00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:39,578 like the start of a horse race. 185 00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:41,080 We were in the lead. 186 00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:43,883 And then this happened, the race is over now, and we lost. 187 00:09:43,884 --> 00:09:46,654 It's okay, there are other races. 188 00:09:47,855 --> 00:09:50,423 There are other horses to ride. 189 00:09:51,692 --> 00:09:53,225 Don't do that. 190 00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:55,361 Don't walk away like the last three months didn't happen. 191 00:09:55,362 --> 00:09:58,164 (phone vibrating) 192 00:09:58,165 --> 00:09:59,165 Yeah. 193 00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,301 Yeah means hello. 194 00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:03,302 Hello? 195 00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:04,303 - Hello. 196 00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:06,338 Ben, it's Malcolm. 197 00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:07,774 - Yeah. 198 00:10:07,775 --> 00:10:10,309 - Our three o'clock appointment isn't answering the door. 199 00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:11,744 - What do you mean? 200 00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:15,716 - Well we've buzzed the buzzer thingy and she's not... 201 00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:19,151 She's not letting us in. 202 00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:20,619 - She says you can't come in? 203 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,254 - She's just not coming to the door. 204 00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:23,823 - Are you in the apartment building? 205 00:10:23,824 --> 00:10:24,824 - No. 206 00:10:24,825 --> 00:10:26,292 We're outside. 207 00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:27,727 - Well how do you know she's not coming to the door? 208 00:10:27,728 --> 00:10:29,161 Spit it out, I'm in 100 degree heat with a cell phone 209 00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:30,296 to my head, I can actually feel a tumor growing 210 00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:31,864 as I talk right now. 211 00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:32,899 - Stop yelling at me. 212 00:10:32,900 --> 00:10:34,633 - Well get to the point! 213 00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:38,806 - We've tried the buzzer thingy and she's not answering, 214 00:10:39,807 --> 00:10:41,607 she's not letting us in. 215 00:10:41,608 --> 00:10:42,608 - Is Larry there? 216 00:10:42,609 --> 00:10:44,043 - Yeah, of course. 217 00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:46,545 - Well let me talk to him. 218 00:10:46,546 --> 00:10:48,247 - But he's holding the baby. 219 00:10:48,248 --> 00:10:50,483 - Put the phone to his ear! 220 00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:53,686 - Ben, what's up? 221 00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:56,723 - What's going on over there? 222 00:10:56,724 --> 00:10:58,190 - Give me the fucking phone. 223 00:10:58,191 --> 00:11:01,327 (phone drops) 224 00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:03,462 You know, we're just hanging out. 225 00:11:03,463 --> 00:11:04,897 - Uh huh. 226 00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:06,232 - Well the doctor says I gotta quit drinking 227 00:11:06,233 --> 00:11:07,734 and I'm like fuck that. 228 00:11:07,735 --> 00:11:11,971 He says if I don't quit my liver's gonna give out. 229 00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:13,339 I feel good about at least having the courage 230 00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:14,841 to tell him how much I drink. 231 00:11:14,842 --> 00:11:16,042 - Larry. 232 00:11:16,043 --> 00:11:17,209 I need to know where you guys are 233 00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:18,011 in that three o'clock appointment. 234 00:11:18,012 --> 00:11:19,979 - Yeah, she's not home. 235 00:11:19,980 --> 00:11:21,180 - Are you sure? 236 00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:23,049 - I mean no, she could be dead up there. 237 00:11:23,050 --> 00:11:24,917 She's not buzzing us up for some reason. 238 00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:26,118 Hey that's a good question. 239 00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:28,822 If you're dead, are you still home? 240 00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:36,028 - What apartment are you guys buzzing? 241 00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:37,196 - Six maybe? 242 00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,065 What apartment are we buzzing? 243 00:11:39,066 --> 00:11:40,632 - Hmm, four? 244 00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:41,968 - We are buzzing four. 245 00:11:41,969 --> 00:11:43,870 - Okay buzz 11. 246 00:11:43,871 --> 00:11:45,805 - 11, really, why? 247 00:11:45,806 --> 00:11:47,373 - Because she lives in apartment 11, 248 00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:48,841 you were buzzing the wrong apartment buddy. 249 00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:50,409 - Oh okay, that happens. 250 00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:51,944 - Yeah, it sure does buster. 251 00:11:51,945 --> 00:11:53,813 Look I got a date in half an hour so I gotta skedaddle. 252 00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:54,647 - How's Terry? 253 00:11:54,647 --> 00:11:55,482 What a doll. 254 00:11:55,483 --> 00:11:57,016 - Terry and I broke up. 255 00:11:57,017 --> 00:11:59,651 - And you're already going out on another date. 256 00:11:59,652 --> 00:12:00,953 - I like to play the field. 257 00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:02,955 - Me too, I'm just not that good at it. 258 00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:05,591 - I don't wanna talk anymore so I'm hanging up now. 259 00:12:05,592 --> 00:12:06,827 - Yeah alright. 260 00:12:11,799 --> 00:12:13,766 Yeah, of course. 261 00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:15,467 You too big daddy. 262 00:12:15,468 --> 00:12:17,037 No, you're the man. 263 00:12:19,706 --> 00:12:21,340 Yeah, I love you too. 264 00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:22,509 Okay, bye Ben. 265 00:12:24,011 --> 00:12:25,244 - Are you done? 266 00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:26,313 - He hung up. 267 00:12:28,015 --> 00:12:29,015 - Here. 268 00:12:30,317 --> 00:12:33,085 Do you think maybe she needs to be changed? 269 00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:33,921 - Why? 270 00:12:33,921 --> 00:12:34,855 Buzz 11. 271 00:12:34,856 --> 00:12:36,923 - She smells like she does. 272 00:12:36,924 --> 00:12:38,457 - It's just once a week. 273 00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:39,758 - Sorry, what's that? 274 00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:40,759 - Buzz 11. 275 00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,768 - Larry? - I don't get it. 276 00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:52,471 We're standing out there an eternity. 277 00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:54,941 You're sitting here. 278 00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:55,942 It's not right. 279 00:12:55,943 --> 00:12:57,377 You're not right. 280 00:12:58,278 --> 00:12:59,279 - I'm sorry. 281 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:01,547 Sorry. 282 00:13:01,548 --> 00:13:04,451 (funky rock music) 283 00:13:20,733 --> 00:13:21,834 - Got the check? 284 00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:22,835 - I do. 285 00:13:22,836 --> 00:13:24,803 - I'll take it. 286 00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:25,938 - Well you have the baby. 287 00:13:25,939 --> 00:13:27,039 - You take the baby. 288 00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:28,207 - What's that? 289 00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:29,641 - You say what a lot. 290 00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:31,443 Have you thought about getting your hearing check? 291 00:13:31,444 --> 00:13:33,947 - Yes I have thought about it. 292 00:13:36,749 --> 00:13:37,950 - Come on in, fellas. 293 00:13:37,951 --> 00:13:39,286 Watch your step. 294 00:13:40,587 --> 00:13:41,753 - Why, is there something we can trip on? 295 00:13:41,754 --> 00:13:43,222 - No, you're carrying a baby. 296 00:13:43,223 --> 00:13:45,424 Just watch your step. 297 00:13:45,425 --> 00:13:47,459 - Oh I never thought about that. 298 00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:50,129 I wonder how many babies have been injured or even died 299 00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:52,598 because someone was careless and tripped on something 300 00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:55,301 while they were holding one. 301 00:13:55,302 --> 00:13:56,903 - I never thought about that either. 302 00:13:56,904 --> 00:14:01,008 - I guess we have to be responsible with these things. 303 00:14:03,210 --> 00:14:07,313 - Nevermind, do you want something to drink? 304 00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:10,317 - Oh a scotch and soda on the rocks. 305 00:14:12,152 --> 00:14:15,421 - I don't have scotch or soda but I can offer you 306 00:14:15,422 --> 00:14:16,755 a glass of ice. 307 00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:17,757 - Thank you. 308 00:14:19,893 --> 00:14:21,994 - How about you? 309 00:14:21,995 --> 00:14:23,063 - I like ice. 310 00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:26,833 - Two glasses of ice it is. 311 00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:31,803 - What's wrong with you? 312 00:14:31,804 --> 00:14:34,806 - Nothing, what's wrong with you? 313 00:14:34,807 --> 00:14:36,309 - Scotch and soda. 314 00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:40,413 Let me do the talking. 315 00:14:44,817 --> 00:14:46,252 - I like your apartment. 316 00:14:46,253 --> 00:14:47,254 It's... nice. 317 00:14:50,323 --> 00:14:51,623 Is that the right word? 318 00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:54,093 - Do you think the baby would like it here? 319 00:14:54,094 --> 00:14:56,095 - I think she'd love it here. 320 00:14:56,096 --> 00:14:57,296 - It's a girl? 321 00:14:57,297 --> 00:14:58,430 I was kinda hoping it was a girl. 322 00:14:58,431 --> 00:14:59,966 What's her name? 323 00:14:59,967 --> 00:15:02,401 - That's up to you, you can call her whatever you want. 324 00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:03,702 - Would you like to hold her? 325 00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:06,838 - Oh no, I'm afraid of babies. 326 00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:08,207 - Surely that can't be the case 327 00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:10,809 if you filled out an application. 328 00:15:10,810 --> 00:15:12,344 - My brother thinks I should do this. 329 00:15:12,345 --> 00:15:14,880 He says I'm cold, he says I need a baby to nurture, 330 00:15:14,881 --> 00:15:18,517 that it'll make me focus on something other than myself. 331 00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:20,186 - That's a wonderful reason to have a baby. 332 00:15:20,187 --> 00:15:23,155 - It's as good a reason as any. 333 00:15:23,156 --> 00:15:25,691 - Do either of you have a baby? 334 00:15:25,692 --> 00:15:26,692 - No. 335 00:15:28,228 --> 00:15:30,062 - My brother said his life meant nothing 336 00:15:30,063 --> 00:15:31,197 until he had his little ones. 337 00:15:31,198 --> 00:15:33,732 Everyone says that, right? 338 00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:36,168 My life meant nothing until I had my children. 339 00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:37,803 Now my life is complete. 340 00:15:37,804 --> 00:15:41,473 Thank god for my children, I'll do anything for my children. 341 00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:42,474 So. 342 00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:47,113 The truth is I feel empty. 343 00:15:47,114 --> 00:15:48,380 - Sure. 344 00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:49,648 - You do too? 345 00:15:49,649 --> 00:15:53,386 - I think about killing myself on a daily basis. 346 00:15:54,887 --> 00:15:57,723 - Um, I've been seeing your company everywhere. 347 00:15:57,724 --> 00:15:59,125 They don't age. 348 00:15:59,126 --> 00:16:01,560 - That's right, Infinity Babies don't age. 349 00:16:01,561 --> 00:16:02,561 Malcolm. 350 00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:07,333 - What's the benefit in that? 351 00:16:07,334 --> 00:16:09,901 - Well there is a benefit in it, actually. 352 00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:11,437 Because you hear a lot of parents lament 353 00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:13,705 the child growing up. 354 00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:17,076 They leave the nest, they don't call, they don't visit. 355 00:16:17,077 --> 00:16:19,745 And invariably they grow more distant. 356 00:16:19,746 --> 00:16:21,180 - I thought most parents couldn't wait 357 00:16:21,181 --> 00:16:22,448 until their kids left. 358 00:16:22,449 --> 00:16:25,618 My parents couldn't conceal their glee. 359 00:16:27,020 --> 00:16:30,722 I don't see how having a baby not age changes anything. 360 00:16:30,723 --> 00:16:32,292 Still shackles you. 361 00:16:33,726 --> 00:16:37,063 - But it not aging really takes the pressure off. 362 00:16:37,064 --> 00:16:39,732 (pensive music) 363 00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:44,636 I'm not sure I can explain this to you. 364 00:16:44,637 --> 00:16:46,938 - When abortion was made illegal on a federal level, 365 00:16:46,939 --> 00:16:49,441 congress passed stem cell laws to placate the left. 366 00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:51,443 The republicans said you give us abortion 367 00:16:51,444 --> 00:16:53,812 and we'll give the democrats stem cell research. 368 00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:56,048 That allowed pharmaceutical giants like our 369 00:16:56,049 --> 00:16:58,817 parent company (bleeps) to proceed with a number 370 00:16:58,818 --> 00:17:01,287 of stem cell experiments on human fetuses. 371 00:17:01,288 --> 00:17:03,655 Now at some point there was a botched experiment. 372 00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:06,158 1,000 or so babies inherited this defect. 373 00:17:06,159 --> 00:17:08,260 No one could figure out what caused it and no one knows 374 00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:11,263 how to reverse it, so (bleeps) started a subsidiary, 375 00:17:11,264 --> 00:17:14,933 Infinity Baby, to find homes for these babies. 376 00:17:14,934 --> 00:17:16,769 And that's what we do. 377 00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:25,277 - In any case, Infinity Babies sleep a lot. 378 00:17:25,278 --> 00:17:27,280 And they don't cry much. 379 00:17:28,181 --> 00:17:29,815 - What do they do? 380 00:17:29,816 --> 00:17:30,816 - They coo. 381 00:17:30,817 --> 00:17:32,050 - The coo of a baby 382 00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:34,353 is the most beautiful sound in the world. 383 00:17:34,354 --> 00:17:36,054 (soft music) 384 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,689 Or at least it's way up there. 385 00:17:37,690 --> 00:17:39,358 - Some say it has healing properties. 386 00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:41,893 - Not the cooing itself but the presence 387 00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:43,595 of the baby in general. 388 00:17:43,596 --> 00:17:47,333 - My uncle Toby, he had hemorrhoids and then he got a dog 389 00:17:47,334 --> 00:17:49,435 and well he still has hemorrhoids, 390 00:17:49,436 --> 00:17:51,537 but they don't flare up as much. 391 00:17:51,538 --> 00:17:53,105 - What's your point? 392 00:17:53,106 --> 00:17:56,208 - Well if a dog can lower the number 393 00:17:56,209 --> 00:17:58,444 of hemorrhoidal flareups in someone, 394 00:17:58,445 --> 00:18:00,746 imagine what a baby can do. 395 00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:02,948 - Cooing baby may be pleasant but a crying baby 396 00:18:02,949 --> 00:18:04,183 certainly isn't. 397 00:18:04,184 --> 00:18:05,118 - You don't have to worry about that. 398 00:18:05,119 --> 00:18:06,452 Infinity Babies primarily sleep, 399 00:18:06,453 --> 00:18:07,953 that's pretty much all they do. 400 00:18:07,954 --> 00:18:10,088 You only have to change their diaper once a week. 401 00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:14,059 You can adjust the baby's meds to fit your schedule. 402 00:18:14,060 --> 00:18:15,494 - That's what I was gonna ask, the meds. 403 00:18:15,495 --> 00:18:17,163 Tell me about the meds. 404 00:18:17,164 --> 00:18:20,666 - Well they're all included in your three month 405 00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:22,968 Infinity parenting pack. 406 00:18:22,969 --> 00:18:27,140 These drugs make caring for the baby a piece of cake. 407 00:18:28,308 --> 00:18:30,176 - And they don't do any harm to the baby. 408 00:18:30,177 --> 00:18:32,778 - Why can't they make a pill that ages the child? 409 00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:34,246 - Good question. 410 00:18:34,247 --> 00:18:36,114 - Who's paying for this? 411 00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:37,517 - Great question. 412 00:18:39,552 --> 00:18:41,920 - What if it dies in my care? 413 00:18:41,921 --> 00:18:43,022 - It's a she. 414 00:18:43,890 --> 00:18:45,357 - Why would it die? 415 00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:49,328 - People die, children die, even babies that don't age die. 416 00:18:49,329 --> 00:18:50,329 Don't they? 417 00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:51,563 Or do they? 418 00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:54,566 - Look it's all in the instruction manual. 419 00:18:54,567 --> 00:18:57,869 It's two pills once a week, very easy, 420 00:18:57,870 --> 00:19:00,105 you do that the baby will be fine. 421 00:19:00,106 --> 00:19:02,174 - Don't take them yourself. 422 00:19:02,175 --> 00:19:03,509 - Why would I do that? 423 00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:06,645 - Well... I mean I for one don't sleep good 424 00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:10,516 and if I had the choice, one bowel movement a week 425 00:19:10,517 --> 00:19:11,751 would be ideal. 426 00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:16,488 Regardless, the pills don't work on adults. 427 00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:18,257 - It's quite alright, I have my own pills. 428 00:19:18,258 --> 00:19:19,525 - Really, what kind? 429 00:19:19,526 --> 00:19:21,860 I'd like one, what are they, uppers? 430 00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:22,861 Downer. 431 00:19:24,797 --> 00:19:27,399 - I don't think you two should be working around children. 432 00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,535 - The great thing about living in this country is 433 00:19:29,536 --> 00:19:31,370 you're entitled to your opinion. 434 00:19:31,371 --> 00:19:32,938 - Another great thing about this country is 435 00:19:32,939 --> 00:19:34,440 that you don't have to be mentally stable to work 436 00:19:34,441 --> 00:19:35,907 with children. 437 00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:39,077 - In any case, this isn't a child, it's a baby. 438 00:19:39,078 --> 00:19:40,746 - She'll remain as she is. 439 00:19:40,747 --> 00:19:43,015 - Innocent and uncorrupted. 440 00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:46,985 - What's the point of taking care of a perpetual baby 441 00:19:46,986 --> 00:19:49,020 if it's not going to grow into a sentient being 442 00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:50,722 you can interact with? 443 00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:52,391 Why bother? 444 00:19:52,392 --> 00:19:54,560 - See you have have several plants, Lydia. 445 00:19:54,561 --> 00:19:55,561 - I do. 446 00:19:56,929 --> 00:19:59,565 - There's your answer. 447 00:19:59,566 --> 00:20:01,166 - I think I'm gonna pass on this. 448 00:20:01,167 --> 00:20:03,902 - It's $20,000 for doing nothing. 449 00:20:03,903 --> 00:20:06,339 - Please get out of my house. 450 00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:09,041 - It's an apartment. 451 00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:11,610 Apartment. 452 00:20:13,313 --> 00:20:15,815 (light music) 453 00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:23,755 - Boy oh boy, she hated us. 454 00:20:23,756 --> 00:20:24,756 - She did. 455 00:20:27,494 --> 00:20:30,161 But that didn't matter so much. 456 00:20:30,162 --> 00:20:32,464 She didn't want the baby, you could sorta see that 457 00:20:32,465 --> 00:20:33,966 right off the bat. 458 00:20:35,201 --> 00:20:38,103 She invited us up to pass the time. 459 00:20:38,104 --> 00:20:39,204 - Yeah she didn't have the confidence 460 00:20:39,205 --> 00:20:41,040 to go through with it. 461 00:20:42,675 --> 00:20:45,177 (funky music) 462 00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:57,156 (pensive music) 463 00:20:58,391 --> 00:20:59,391 ♪ Gonna walk around 464 00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:00,360 ♪ Gonna talk around 465 00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:01,328 ♪ Gonna walk around 466 00:21:01,329 --> 00:21:02,361 ♪ Gonna talk around and see 467 00:21:02,362 --> 00:21:04,195 (giggling) 468 00:21:04,196 --> 00:21:05,196 - Hi. 469 00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:07,433 - Alison? - Hi! 470 00:21:07,434 --> 00:21:08,301 - Oh hey. - Hi Ben. 471 00:21:08,302 --> 00:21:10,537 (giggling) 472 00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:14,406 It's nice to meet you face to face. 473 00:21:14,407 --> 00:21:15,407 - You too. 474 00:21:15,408 --> 00:21:16,808 Jeez, you're beautiful. 475 00:21:16,809 --> 00:21:18,410 (giggling) 476 00:21:18,411 --> 00:21:20,646 Sorry to be like that. 477 00:21:20,647 --> 00:21:22,213 It's just you look better in person 478 00:21:22,214 --> 00:21:24,149 than you do in your pictures. 479 00:21:24,150 --> 00:21:26,752 - Well thanks I guess. 480 00:21:26,753 --> 00:21:28,286 - That's not, it sounds like I'm saying 481 00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:29,755 you look terrible in your photos. 482 00:21:29,756 --> 00:21:31,289 You don't, you look, no, you look great, 483 00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:33,359 but it's just in real life. 484 00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:34,360 Wow. 485 00:21:35,362 --> 00:21:36,928 (giggling) 486 00:21:36,929 --> 00:21:39,098 - Well I already like you. 487 00:21:40,700 --> 00:21:42,233 - Sorry I get nervous at these things. 488 00:21:42,234 --> 00:21:44,570 There's just, there's a lot of pressure. 489 00:21:44,571 --> 00:21:46,572 - I know, yeah, me too, me too. 490 00:21:46,573 --> 00:21:49,975 And honestly I've been so busy the last, 491 00:21:49,976 --> 00:21:52,277 well the last few years actually. 492 00:21:52,278 --> 00:21:54,079 - Right, with your interior decorating business? 493 00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:55,381 - Mm hmm. 494 00:21:55,382 --> 00:21:57,816 Yeah, I just haven't had time for anything else. 495 00:21:57,817 --> 00:22:00,419 I mean I'm not making a ton of money but I'm working 496 00:22:00,420 --> 00:22:03,088 consistently, building clients. 497 00:22:03,089 --> 00:22:04,723 - Yeah, your profile said you work a lot. 498 00:22:04,724 --> 00:22:06,892 Can I get you a coffee or a salad? 499 00:22:06,893 --> 00:22:09,327 - I'd love a coffee and a water. 500 00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:10,529 - Okay fuck you, I'm not a waiter. 501 00:22:10,530 --> 00:22:12,297 (laughing) 502 00:22:12,298 --> 00:22:14,065 That's not funny. 503 00:22:14,066 --> 00:22:15,434 Milk, sugar? 504 00:22:15,435 --> 00:22:17,504 - I'm lactose intolerant. 505 00:22:18,471 --> 00:22:19,938 - Okay, yeah, that's a problem. 506 00:22:19,939 --> 00:22:21,440 I only date tolerant women. 507 00:22:21,441 --> 00:22:23,875 - Well I'm normally very tolerant, I promise you. 508 00:22:23,876 --> 00:22:25,944 - You could be a serial killer for all I care. 509 00:22:25,945 --> 00:22:28,046 With a face like that, forget it. 510 00:22:28,047 --> 00:22:29,280 - Aw, you're sweet. 511 00:22:29,281 --> 00:22:32,150 Go get the coffees and we'll talk. 512 00:22:32,151 --> 00:22:33,552 - Okay. 513 00:22:33,553 --> 00:22:35,153 Um... 514 00:22:35,154 --> 00:22:37,389 (giggles) 515 00:22:37,390 --> 00:22:38,390 Okay. 516 00:22:48,801 --> 00:22:51,336 - [Ben Voiceover] Go get the coffees? 517 00:22:51,337 --> 00:22:54,640 She's already bossing me around. 518 00:22:54,641 --> 00:22:57,075 Did I really need to know that drinking milk gives her gas? 519 00:22:57,076 --> 00:22:59,845 I don't need to know that right out of the gate. 520 00:22:59,846 --> 00:23:03,683 Why does she want to reveal so much so quickly? 521 00:23:06,719 --> 00:23:08,119 She laughs so much. 522 00:23:08,120 --> 00:23:09,655 We've talked for two minutes 523 00:23:09,656 --> 00:23:11,957 and she's laughing at everything. 524 00:23:11,958 --> 00:23:14,493 I mean there's a desperation in that, isn't there? 525 00:23:14,494 --> 00:23:16,595 And she can't sit 15 seconds alone without 526 00:23:16,596 --> 00:23:19,130 picking up her phone. 527 00:23:19,131 --> 00:23:20,567 Still she's cute. 528 00:23:22,735 --> 00:23:23,736 Really cute. 529 00:23:25,337 --> 00:23:27,305 And if she's an interior designer that's good, 530 00:23:27,306 --> 00:23:29,007 they make good money, don't they? 531 00:23:29,008 --> 00:23:31,076 Means I won't have to pay for everything. 532 00:23:31,077 --> 00:23:32,277 But she said she's not making good money 533 00:23:32,278 --> 00:23:33,880 which means I will. 534 00:23:35,247 --> 00:23:36,782 She has nice eyes. 535 00:23:36,783 --> 00:23:38,049 There's something dreamy about her, 536 00:23:38,050 --> 00:23:41,352 she's probably thinking about marriage and kids. 537 00:23:41,353 --> 00:23:43,221 - [Barista] Can I help you? 538 00:23:43,222 --> 00:23:44,222 - What? 539 00:23:45,958 --> 00:23:50,129 Yeah, I'll have a black coffee and a fucking water. 540 00:23:51,764 --> 00:23:52,864 ♪ You push 541 00:23:52,865 --> 00:23:53,800 ♪ I'll go 542 00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:54,734 ♪ You push 543 00:23:54,735 --> 00:23:55,801 ♪ I'll go 544 00:23:55,802 --> 00:23:56,802 ♪ I'll go 545 00:23:56,803 --> 00:23:57,803 ♪ I'll go 546 00:23:57,804 --> 00:23:59,972 ♪ I'll go 547 00:24:08,047 --> 00:24:12,218 - [Girl Voiceover] And that's how babies are made. 548 00:24:15,822 --> 00:24:17,589 (giggling) 549 00:24:17,590 --> 00:24:19,425 Making babies is easy. 550 00:24:20,893 --> 00:24:23,896 Taking care of them is a punishment. 551 00:24:25,464 --> 00:24:27,967 (light music) 552 00:24:39,879 --> 00:24:41,881 - Why don't we keep her? 553 00:24:46,052 --> 00:24:47,152 - Why would we do that? 554 00:24:47,153 --> 00:24:48,453 - $20,000. 555 00:24:48,454 --> 00:24:49,621 We keep it for ourselves. 556 00:24:49,622 --> 00:24:51,657 In three months we just tell them the lady 557 00:24:51,658 --> 00:24:56,061 didn't want the baby and then no one knows the difference. 558 00:24:56,062 --> 00:24:59,565 - Larry, we don't need the money. 559 00:24:59,566 --> 00:25:01,199 I've been saving. 560 00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:03,869 I've saved $60,000 by putting away $20 a day 561 00:25:03,870 --> 00:25:05,638 for the last 30 days. 562 00:25:07,740 --> 00:25:09,407 - That's $600. 563 00:25:09,408 --> 00:25:11,678 You're unbelievably stupid. 564 00:25:18,618 --> 00:25:20,852 - We can't take care of her. 565 00:25:20,853 --> 00:25:22,621 - Sure we can, it's easy. 566 00:25:22,622 --> 00:25:24,723 We just give her the pills, stick her on the sofa, 567 00:25:24,724 --> 00:25:26,992 go about our business. 568 00:25:26,993 --> 00:25:30,428 - But we have to change her diaper once a week. 569 00:25:30,429 --> 00:25:33,464 - Changing a diaper once a week, so what? 570 00:25:33,465 --> 00:25:35,967 It's a piece of cake. 571 00:25:35,968 --> 00:25:38,704 - And we just keep the check. 572 00:25:38,705 --> 00:25:39,705 - $20,000? 573 00:25:41,608 --> 00:25:44,910 - What are we gonna do with $20,000 Larry? 574 00:25:44,911 --> 00:25:46,544 - Pay for our wedding for one thing. 575 00:25:46,545 --> 00:25:49,347 - I told you, I'm undecided on the topic of weddings. 576 00:25:49,348 --> 00:25:50,982 - I know, but it's good for taxes. 577 00:25:50,983 --> 00:25:53,451 - I'm not even sure that I'm gay. 578 00:25:53,452 --> 00:25:56,288 Larry, I don't think I am exactly. 579 00:25:57,990 --> 00:26:00,392 - Keep telling yourself that. 580 00:26:01,794 --> 00:26:06,464 - I think I might be more bisexual or pansexual. 581 00:26:06,465 --> 00:26:08,801 - Oh yeah, what's pansexual? 582 00:26:12,605 --> 00:26:15,441 - I don't think I can answer that. 583 00:26:20,146 --> 00:26:22,381 I have to think about this. 584 00:26:31,123 --> 00:26:33,125 (sighs) 585 00:26:34,293 --> 00:26:35,593 Okay. 586 00:26:35,594 --> 00:26:36,594 Okay. 587 00:26:36,595 --> 00:26:37,595 Let's do it. 588 00:26:37,596 --> 00:26:39,598 - It's brilliant, right? 589 00:26:42,568 --> 00:26:46,739 Now, let's take it home and have a drink to celebrate. 590 00:26:49,676 --> 00:26:50,676 - Okay. 591 00:26:52,511 --> 00:26:54,012 Let's celebrate. 592 00:26:54,013 --> 00:26:56,682 But let's drink responsibly because we're parents now. 593 00:26:56,683 --> 00:26:58,049 - Drink as responsibly as you want, 594 00:26:58,050 --> 00:27:00,652 I'm getting shitfaced. 595 00:27:00,653 --> 00:27:02,187 - What? 596 00:27:02,188 --> 00:27:05,323 - Drink as responsibly as you want, I'm getting shitfaced. 597 00:27:05,324 --> 00:27:08,094 (dramatic music) 598 00:27:22,842 --> 00:27:24,610 - Can you smell that? 599 00:27:26,545 --> 00:27:29,414 - Yeah, it's definitely time for her to be changed. 600 00:27:29,415 --> 00:27:30,882 - I don't wanna do it. 601 00:27:30,883 --> 00:27:33,318 - Come on, you've only changed her once since we got her. 602 00:27:33,319 --> 00:27:36,187 - I know, but originally you said you would do it. 603 00:27:36,188 --> 00:27:40,359 - If you love the baby, you won't mind changing the diaper. 604 00:27:45,664 --> 00:27:47,833 - I don't love this thing. 605 00:27:47,834 --> 00:27:49,100 I don't wanna do it. 606 00:27:49,101 --> 00:27:50,102 - I'm sorry. 607 00:27:51,771 --> 00:27:53,671 - [Malcolm] I can't believe we have to do this once a week 608 00:27:53,672 --> 00:27:55,473 for the next three months. 609 00:27:55,474 --> 00:27:56,308 - Two months. 610 00:27:56,309 --> 00:27:59,145 (phone vibrating) 611 00:28:02,414 --> 00:28:03,648 - [Malcolm] I don't know much 612 00:28:03,649 --> 00:28:05,150 about what happened at Guantanamo Bay 613 00:28:05,151 --> 00:28:06,985 but if they really wanted to torture the prisoners 614 00:28:06,986 --> 00:28:09,187 they would have forced them to do this. 615 00:28:09,188 --> 00:28:13,391 - I don't think you should be comparing this to that. 616 00:28:13,392 --> 00:28:15,127 - Okay, I'm finished. 617 00:28:19,899 --> 00:28:20,967 - How was it? 618 00:28:22,201 --> 00:28:24,937 - The worst thing I've ever done. 619 00:28:26,072 --> 00:28:28,573 - We can increase the baby's medication. 620 00:28:28,574 --> 00:28:29,640 - What do you mean? 621 00:28:29,641 --> 00:28:32,443 - The constipation medication. 622 00:28:32,444 --> 00:28:33,745 We just give her double the amount 623 00:28:33,746 --> 00:28:37,315 and then you only have to do this half as much. 624 00:28:37,316 --> 00:28:38,316 - Me? 625 00:28:39,085 --> 00:28:40,086 Why me, why? 626 00:28:42,521 --> 00:28:43,521 Sure. 627 00:28:45,191 --> 00:28:47,192 - We could up her dosage with the red pill too, 628 00:28:47,193 --> 00:28:51,296 then we only have to feed her half as often. 629 00:28:51,297 --> 00:28:52,899 - That makes sense. 630 00:28:53,900 --> 00:28:56,235 - This isn't so hard, is it? 631 00:28:58,204 --> 00:28:59,204 - Uh. 632 00:29:00,072 --> 00:29:02,508 Oh god, I got feces on my arm. 633 00:29:03,475 --> 00:29:04,475 - So what? 634 00:29:04,476 --> 00:29:05,777 (coughs) 635 00:29:05,778 --> 00:29:08,379 You make a big deal about everything! 636 00:29:08,380 --> 00:29:10,616 (coughing) 637 00:29:12,885 --> 00:29:15,121 (laughing) 638 00:29:24,330 --> 00:29:26,498 (gagging) 639 00:29:27,666 --> 00:29:28,666 Fuck. 640 00:29:30,069 --> 00:29:32,037 - Larry that's not cleaner for people, 641 00:29:32,038 --> 00:29:34,505 that's cleaner for countertops. 642 00:29:34,506 --> 00:29:36,507 (laughing) 643 00:29:36,508 --> 00:29:39,377 Ow, Larry ow it burned my eye! 644 00:29:39,378 --> 00:29:42,180 Larry stop, Larry, Larry, Larry no! 645 00:29:42,181 --> 00:29:43,982 (upbeat music) 646 00:29:43,983 --> 00:29:45,316 Ah Larry stop, stop it! 647 00:29:45,317 --> 00:29:47,386 (crying) 648 00:30:02,734 --> 00:30:03,734 Ah! 649 00:30:05,337 --> 00:30:07,372 - We had every reason to think this was temporary 650 00:30:07,373 --> 00:30:08,474 but it isn't. 651 00:30:09,508 --> 00:30:10,708 - Meaning what? 652 00:30:10,709 --> 00:30:12,277 - [Doctor] Meaning you're blind. 653 00:30:12,278 --> 00:30:13,979 - Jesus. - Yeah. 654 00:30:13,980 --> 00:30:16,447 - What about in like a year, will I be blind then? 655 00:30:16,448 --> 00:30:17,482 - I think so. 656 00:30:17,483 --> 00:30:18,650 Good question. 657 00:30:20,452 --> 00:30:21,920 - Five years? 658 00:30:21,921 --> 00:30:24,924 - [Doctor] Great question, probably. 659 00:30:30,229 --> 00:30:32,731 (funky music) 660 00:30:33,732 --> 00:30:35,968 (groaning) 661 00:30:46,045 --> 00:30:49,347 - I'm sorry I pre-ejaculated so quickly. 662 00:30:49,348 --> 00:30:50,681 I thought that's what you wanted. 663 00:30:50,682 --> 00:30:51,883 (giggles) 664 00:30:51,884 --> 00:30:53,218 - Why would I want that? 665 00:30:53,219 --> 00:30:55,786 - You mentioned you were impatient. 666 00:30:55,787 --> 00:30:58,489 - You have an answer for everything, don't you? 667 00:30:58,490 --> 00:30:59,757 - I do now. 668 00:30:59,758 --> 00:31:02,127 Wish that were the case in college. 669 00:31:02,128 --> 00:31:03,328 I may have graduated. 670 00:31:03,329 --> 00:31:05,030 - I assumed you did well in school. 671 00:31:05,031 --> 00:31:07,298 - No, I'm dyslexic, I had trouble reading. 672 00:31:07,299 --> 00:31:09,534 Came in handy though when my parents asked me 673 00:31:09,535 --> 00:31:11,269 how I was doing. 674 00:31:11,270 --> 00:31:13,972 For the longest time I thought my GPA was 3.2, 675 00:31:13,973 --> 00:31:15,406 it was actually 2.3. 676 00:31:15,407 --> 00:31:17,242 (giggling) 677 00:31:17,243 --> 00:31:18,243 - [Ben Voiceover] Wow, now she's laughing 678 00:31:18,244 --> 00:31:19,744 at my lack of intelligence. 679 00:31:19,745 --> 00:31:20,745 - [Alison] Well how did you end up becoming a manager 680 00:31:20,746 --> 00:31:22,013 at Infinity Baby? 681 00:31:22,014 --> 00:31:24,682 - I dunno, I applied like everyone else. 682 00:31:24,683 --> 00:31:26,117 It was pretty intense. 683 00:31:26,118 --> 00:31:30,022 Plus my father owned the company and my uncle runs it. 684 00:31:33,492 --> 00:31:35,995 - I wanna have a baby one day. 685 00:31:36,963 --> 00:31:38,163 Do you? 686 00:31:38,164 --> 00:31:40,531 - Yeah I'd like to have a baby for one day. 687 00:31:40,532 --> 00:31:41,632 And then give it back. 688 00:31:41,633 --> 00:31:43,902 (giggling) 689 00:31:46,872 --> 00:31:49,474 The truth is I'm just kinda scared of all that. 690 00:31:49,475 --> 00:31:51,909 - Yeah, well that's fair. 691 00:31:51,910 --> 00:31:53,179 - I'm a coward. 692 00:31:54,780 --> 00:31:58,116 - Is that how you get all the girls, is that your schtick? 693 00:31:58,117 --> 00:31:59,985 I'm a coward, will you go out with me? 694 00:31:59,986 --> 00:32:02,553 - [Ben Voiceover] She really is kinda perfect. 695 00:32:02,554 --> 00:32:05,023 I think maybe I could stay with her for a while. 696 00:32:05,024 --> 00:32:06,959 Maybe even get married. 697 00:32:08,927 --> 00:32:10,461 As long as we're not talking all the time 698 00:32:10,462 --> 00:32:13,864 and she's not laughing so much at everything I say. 699 00:32:13,865 --> 00:32:18,037 I wonder what it's going to be like two months from now. 700 00:32:20,973 --> 00:32:23,141 Oh, hi. (phone ringing) 701 00:32:23,142 --> 00:32:24,509 Get off of me. 702 00:32:24,510 --> 00:32:25,510 Space. 703 00:32:26,445 --> 00:32:27,678 I just want space. 704 00:32:27,679 --> 00:32:29,080 - [Alison] Morning. 705 00:32:29,081 --> 00:32:31,016 - Oh you're really insatiable, you know that? 706 00:32:31,017 --> 00:32:32,617 - Ben, hey, did I wake you up? 707 00:32:32,618 --> 00:32:33,884 - What is it? 708 00:32:33,885 --> 00:32:37,456 - We've got a problem here at the apartment. 709 00:32:39,958 --> 00:32:41,492 We need you to come over. 710 00:32:41,493 --> 00:32:43,961 - No, I'm not coming over there. 711 00:32:43,962 --> 00:32:48,134 - It's kind of an emergency, work related emergency. 712 00:32:49,768 --> 00:32:50,768 - How? 713 00:32:50,769 --> 00:32:52,637 Just tell me what it is, Jesus! 714 00:32:52,638 --> 00:32:56,107 - Yes, I'll explain more when you get here. 715 00:32:56,108 --> 00:32:57,175 (curious music) 716 00:32:57,176 --> 00:32:59,277 - [Ben] I'm not happy. 717 00:32:59,278 --> 00:33:02,680 - I know Ben, I'm not happy either. 718 00:33:02,681 --> 00:33:03,948 (sighs) 719 00:33:03,949 --> 00:33:05,483 As we get older it's best just to accept 720 00:33:05,484 --> 00:33:08,253 that we're never gonna be truly happy, 721 00:33:08,254 --> 00:33:11,222 but if you think about it... 722 00:33:11,223 --> 00:33:13,424 You can't appreciate happiness 723 00:33:13,425 --> 00:33:16,027 without experiencing bleakness. 724 00:33:16,028 --> 00:33:20,165 When I'm feeling down, what I usually do is make myself 725 00:33:20,166 --> 00:33:23,000 a bowl of cinnamon oatmeal. 726 00:33:23,001 --> 00:33:24,001 - I have to go. 727 00:33:24,002 --> 00:33:25,303 - No, don't go! 728 00:33:25,304 --> 00:33:26,837 - [Ben] Yep. 729 00:33:26,838 --> 00:33:31,009 - Then I make a boiled egg, peel it, say a tantric prayer, 730 00:33:31,910 --> 00:33:34,513 then I throw it out the window. 731 00:33:41,653 --> 00:33:44,689 - I had a dream last night we were getting married. 732 00:33:44,690 --> 00:33:47,458 (giggles) 733 00:33:47,459 --> 00:33:51,129 And we were both crying and our tears were filling up 734 00:33:51,130 --> 00:33:53,131 all around us like we were in a bathtub 735 00:33:53,132 --> 00:33:57,068 and we just kept crying and then we were lifted up 736 00:33:57,069 --> 00:34:00,906 by this ocean of tears and carried into heaven. 737 00:34:02,841 --> 00:34:04,409 And when we got there my grandmother was there 738 00:34:04,410 --> 00:34:07,445 and she was crying and then all of our particles 739 00:34:07,446 --> 00:34:09,480 just started spinning all around and there was this 740 00:34:09,481 --> 00:34:11,782 torque of energy and positivity and 741 00:34:11,783 --> 00:34:14,952 everyone just started dissolving into this 742 00:34:14,953 --> 00:34:16,622 tornado of goodness. 743 00:34:30,202 --> 00:34:31,470 I love you Ben! 744 00:34:32,571 --> 00:34:34,973 I'm just so in love with you! 745 00:34:39,578 --> 00:34:42,581 - I think you should meet my mother. 746 00:34:47,686 --> 00:34:49,720 - Wait Ben, really? 747 00:34:49,721 --> 00:34:52,223 - Yeah, I think it's time. 748 00:34:52,224 --> 00:34:53,691 - But Ben this makes me really nervous. 749 00:34:53,692 --> 00:34:55,493 You said your mother's everything to you. 750 00:34:55,494 --> 00:34:57,328 - Yeah, she is for the most part, yeah. 751 00:34:57,329 --> 00:34:59,530 - You said that if your mother doesn't approve 752 00:34:59,531 --> 00:35:00,965 of one of your girlfriends it's usually a sign 753 00:35:00,966 --> 00:35:02,767 you can't continue. 754 00:35:02,768 --> 00:35:05,069 - Let's just say it's difficult. 755 00:35:05,070 --> 00:35:06,404 - This is making me really nervous. 756 00:35:06,405 --> 00:35:08,740 What if she doesn't like me? 757 00:35:12,511 --> 00:35:14,413 I don't wanna meet her! 758 00:35:16,215 --> 00:35:18,683 How am I supposed to tell her that I love her son 759 00:35:18,684 --> 00:35:21,018 and I wanna make 100 babies with him? 760 00:35:21,019 --> 00:35:23,621 (giggling) 761 00:35:23,622 --> 00:35:25,723 (easy music) 762 00:35:25,724 --> 00:35:27,225 - [Ben Voiceover] Why does this always happen? 763 00:35:27,226 --> 00:35:28,759 Every time. 764 00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:31,562 God this is going to hurt her so badly. 765 00:35:31,563 --> 00:35:34,532 Then I'm gonna feel horrible. 766 00:35:34,533 --> 00:35:36,234 Why do they have to care so much? 767 00:35:36,235 --> 00:35:37,802 Why can't they just ride the wave? 768 00:35:37,803 --> 00:35:41,973 Isn't that what this is all about, just riding the wave? 769 00:35:43,942 --> 00:35:46,877 Look at her, she'll be fine. 770 00:35:46,878 --> 00:35:48,313 - [Alison] Ow! 771 00:35:48,314 --> 00:35:49,647 - [Ben Voiceover] She's like a six year old. 772 00:35:49,648 --> 00:35:52,283 She'll find the whole thing funny. 773 00:35:52,284 --> 00:35:55,353 New York could get attacked by Chinese warships 774 00:35:55,354 --> 00:35:56,554 and she would be laughing until 775 00:35:56,555 --> 00:35:58,557 the very last heartbeat. 776 00:36:03,895 --> 00:36:05,730 - When do you want me to meet her? 777 00:36:05,731 --> 00:36:07,566 - As soon as possible. 778 00:36:15,173 --> 00:36:17,742 (giggling) 779 00:36:17,743 --> 00:36:18,577 (tense electronic music) 780 00:36:18,578 --> 00:36:21,247 (phone ringing) 781 00:36:23,249 --> 00:36:24,849 - Hello? 782 00:36:24,850 --> 00:36:26,517 - Hester. - Yes. 783 00:36:26,518 --> 00:36:27,518 - It's Ben. 784 00:36:27,519 --> 00:36:28,520 - Hello Ben. 785 00:36:29,988 --> 00:36:31,155 - I need to introduce you to my girlfriend tomorrow. 786 00:36:31,156 --> 00:36:33,023 - Can't do it tomorrow, I'm busy. 787 00:36:33,024 --> 00:36:34,292 - I'll call you tonight with the details. 788 00:36:34,293 --> 00:36:35,526 You're gonna have to be extra hard on this one. 789 00:36:35,527 --> 00:36:37,194 She thinks life is a bowl of cherries. 790 00:36:37,195 --> 00:36:38,563 - I just told you I'm busy. 791 00:36:38,564 --> 00:36:39,930 - I figure we can start with interior design, 792 00:36:39,931 --> 00:36:41,499 it's what she does, but I can't talk right now, 793 00:36:41,500 --> 00:36:42,434 I'll let you know the details... 794 00:36:42,435 --> 00:36:44,369 (beeps) - Oh my god. 795 00:36:44,370 --> 00:36:46,938 (upbeat music) 796 00:36:56,882 --> 00:36:58,148 - [Ben Voiceover] Maybe I need to stop dating women 797 00:36:58,149 --> 00:37:00,319 and retreat back to girls. 798 00:37:03,489 --> 00:37:06,724 Find a young girl who likes to have fun. 799 00:37:06,725 --> 00:37:08,959 Maybe do some drugs and go out dancing. 800 00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:10,428 Go to a rave. 801 00:37:10,429 --> 00:37:11,962 I should do all the weird shit I did not do 802 00:37:11,963 --> 00:37:13,532 when I was younger. 803 00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:17,735 Maybe go to a goth club dressed like a vampire. 804 00:37:17,736 --> 00:37:18,970 Now's the time. 805 00:37:20,606 --> 00:37:23,240 No, I love women too much. 806 00:37:23,241 --> 00:37:26,411 I don't love them, but I need them. 807 00:37:26,412 --> 00:37:28,646 If they could just stop taking things so seriously. 808 00:37:28,647 --> 00:37:30,214 It's just a relationship. 809 00:37:30,215 --> 00:37:33,418 Why does there always have to be an ultimatum? 810 00:37:33,419 --> 00:37:36,621 Marriage, babies, why can't we just keep having fun? 811 00:37:36,622 --> 00:37:40,891 Why do things always have to be so serious? 812 00:37:40,892 --> 00:37:42,394 - This is serious. 813 00:37:47,032 --> 00:37:49,701 (flies buzzing) 814 00:38:09,154 --> 00:38:11,456 - I think about all the success I've achieved 815 00:38:11,457 --> 00:38:15,627 and then I ask myself, when will it ever be enough? 816 00:38:18,196 --> 00:38:21,533 I have an office here and New York City. 817 00:38:23,702 --> 00:38:26,136 I have people who ask me what to do, when to do it, 818 00:38:26,137 --> 00:38:28,406 and how to do it on a daily basis, 819 00:38:28,407 --> 00:38:30,808 and in a company like this there's a lot to do 820 00:38:30,809 --> 00:38:35,112 and a lot of people to do it so you do the math. 821 00:38:35,113 --> 00:38:37,181 I'm a busy man. 822 00:38:37,182 --> 00:38:39,250 I sign checks for people. 823 00:38:40,686 --> 00:38:42,186 I sit at the head of long tables at board meetings 824 00:38:42,187 --> 00:38:43,854 and after everyone's had a chance to talk, 825 00:38:43,855 --> 00:38:47,157 somebody says, "So Neo, what do you think?" 826 00:38:47,158 --> 00:38:49,126 And then I say what I think and then what I think 827 00:38:49,127 --> 00:38:50,629 is the final word. 828 00:38:52,664 --> 00:38:55,866 That's some pretty awesome shit, is it not, white boy? 829 00:38:55,867 --> 00:38:57,334 - Yes. 830 00:38:57,335 --> 00:39:00,137 - Does it bother you when I call you white boy? 831 00:39:00,138 --> 00:39:01,138 - No. 832 00:39:02,508 --> 00:39:04,475 - How old are you white boy, 22? 833 00:39:04,476 --> 00:39:05,976 - 32. 834 00:39:05,977 --> 00:39:09,380 - You know when I was 22 I was digging graves in Louisiana. 835 00:39:09,381 --> 00:39:11,181 100 degree heat. 836 00:39:11,182 --> 00:39:14,919 I was putting coffins made of cardboard in the ground. 837 00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:18,489 The smell of decaying flesh was so strong I could taste it. 838 00:39:18,490 --> 00:39:20,290 Sounds awful, doesn't it? 839 00:39:20,291 --> 00:39:22,727 - Yeah, it really does. 840 00:39:22,728 --> 00:39:26,398 Unless you like the taste of decaying flesh. 841 00:39:36,508 --> 00:39:38,677 (beeping) 842 00:39:41,547 --> 00:39:42,547 - Yeah? 843 00:39:44,049 --> 00:39:46,216 My nephew, here, now. 844 00:39:46,217 --> 00:39:47,485 How? 845 00:39:47,486 --> 00:39:48,486 Wow. 846 00:39:49,354 --> 00:39:50,856 Yes, bring him in. 847 00:40:05,837 --> 00:40:08,205 (lighter clicks) 848 00:40:08,206 --> 00:40:11,109 (tense rock music) 849 00:40:24,623 --> 00:40:25,791 What the fuck? 850 00:40:29,828 --> 00:40:31,295 Ben. 851 00:40:31,296 --> 00:40:32,296 - Neo. 852 00:40:40,005 --> 00:40:41,907 - Good to see you, Ben. 853 00:40:50,849 --> 00:40:53,050 You kept the baby for three months in order to collect 854 00:40:53,051 --> 00:40:55,219 the $20,000 fee for yourselves. 855 00:40:55,220 --> 00:40:56,754 - That's right. 856 00:40:56,755 --> 00:40:58,523 - And then you gave the baby extra pharmaceuticals 857 00:40:58,524 --> 00:41:01,091 in order to stop it from defecating. 858 00:41:01,092 --> 00:41:03,327 - That's not entirely correct. 859 00:41:03,328 --> 00:41:05,229 - We initially gave her two constipation pills 860 00:41:05,230 --> 00:41:07,598 thinking that she would only use the bathroom 861 00:41:07,599 --> 00:41:10,868 once every two weeks, but that didn't work. 862 00:41:10,869 --> 00:41:12,169 - So then what? 863 00:41:12,170 --> 00:41:15,239 - Then we stopped giving her the food pill 864 00:41:15,240 --> 00:41:19,209 in hopes that that would keep her from defecating. 865 00:41:19,210 --> 00:41:20,210 - And? 866 00:41:21,312 --> 00:41:22,147 - It did. 867 00:41:22,148 --> 00:41:23,681 (phone dings) 868 00:41:23,682 --> 00:41:26,951 - [Ava] Hi I'm Ava, I can't wait to meet you in person. 869 00:41:26,952 --> 00:41:27,952 - Oh. 870 00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:32,156 Sorry, I didn't bring my headphones. 871 00:41:32,157 --> 00:41:34,392 Um, I'll take this outside. 872 00:41:35,661 --> 00:41:37,361 - Don't you want to listen to this? 873 00:41:37,362 --> 00:41:40,264 - No, I think it's better if you handle this and them. 874 00:41:40,265 --> 00:41:42,132 - [Neo] I'll take care of this. 875 00:41:42,133 --> 00:41:43,668 - [Ben] You know, I think that's best. 876 00:41:43,669 --> 00:41:45,035 - I just told you I got it. 877 00:41:45,036 --> 00:41:47,138 - Okay, thanks Uncle Neo. 878 00:41:51,977 --> 00:41:54,879 - So you starved the baby. 879 00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:57,381 - We just stopped giving it one of her pills. 880 00:41:57,382 --> 00:42:00,317 - Yeah, the pill that nourishes her. 881 00:42:00,318 --> 00:42:03,420 - She didn't start crying like a baby normally does 882 00:42:03,421 --> 00:42:07,024 when it's hungry, she just lied there and cooed. 883 00:42:07,025 --> 00:42:10,294 - She just lied there and cooed? 884 00:42:10,295 --> 00:42:11,863 - Laid there, yeah. 885 00:42:13,965 --> 00:42:16,801 - [Malcolm] She just cooed. 886 00:42:16,802 --> 00:42:19,037 - Until she stopped cooing. 887 00:42:20,471 --> 00:42:22,372 - You know the orientation specifically stipulates 888 00:42:22,373 --> 00:42:25,542 that you do not under any circumstances modify 889 00:42:25,543 --> 00:42:27,544 the medication schedule. 890 00:42:27,545 --> 00:42:29,647 There are warning labels at every step 891 00:42:29,648 --> 00:42:31,749 exhorting you to avoid... 892 00:42:31,750 --> 00:42:33,251 Can you even read? 893 00:42:35,120 --> 00:42:36,453 - Of course. 894 00:42:36,454 --> 00:42:38,123 - [Malcolm] I could. 895 00:42:39,958 --> 00:42:41,558 - Idiots. 896 00:42:41,559 --> 00:42:43,761 Were you at the orientations? 897 00:42:43,762 --> 00:42:46,363 - I think it was an orientation. 898 00:42:46,364 --> 00:42:48,867 We were at one, crazy tedious. 899 00:42:56,675 --> 00:42:57,675 - Here's what we're gonna do. 900 00:42:57,676 --> 00:42:59,910 There is an easy fix to this. 901 00:42:59,911 --> 00:43:01,612 It's like a paper trail. 902 00:43:01,613 --> 00:43:04,481 Get rid of the trail, nobody can touch you. 903 00:43:04,482 --> 00:43:07,451 We take the baby to this guy. 904 00:43:07,452 --> 00:43:08,452 - Who's this? 905 00:43:08,453 --> 00:43:09,920 - I ask the questions here. 906 00:43:09,921 --> 00:43:11,857 - I wonder who this is. 907 00:43:13,024 --> 00:43:14,491 - You just take the baby to Fenton 908 00:43:14,492 --> 00:43:16,426 and the problem go bye bye. 909 00:43:16,427 --> 00:43:17,561 - Problem go bye bye. 910 00:43:17,562 --> 00:43:19,297 - Problem go bye bye. 911 00:43:22,467 --> 00:43:24,736 (swallows) 912 00:43:27,572 --> 00:43:29,940 I admire your courage. 913 00:43:29,941 --> 00:43:34,444 You saw an opportunity to get $20,000 and you went for it. 914 00:43:34,445 --> 00:43:35,446 I like that. 915 00:43:36,381 --> 00:43:37,848 - [Malcolm] But a baby died. 916 00:43:37,849 --> 00:43:39,249 - So what? 917 00:43:39,250 --> 00:43:40,851 In order to make money sometimes you have to 918 00:43:40,852 --> 00:43:42,452 kill a few babies. 919 00:43:42,453 --> 00:43:44,588 My good friend Dick Cheney, the former CEO 920 00:43:44,589 --> 00:43:48,660 of defense contractor Halliburton taught me that. 921 00:43:50,929 --> 00:43:52,864 You guys like kombucha? 922 00:43:53,799 --> 00:43:56,634 (ambitious music) 923 00:44:30,035 --> 00:44:32,202 - There's somebody here to see you. 924 00:44:32,203 --> 00:44:33,772 - It's Neo Getwell. 925 00:44:38,476 --> 00:44:40,545 It's a very powerful man. 926 00:44:42,247 --> 00:44:45,083 - Well they have a baby with them. 927 00:44:51,056 --> 00:44:53,725 (clears throat) 928 00:45:02,467 --> 00:45:04,735 - [Neo] You look well. 929 00:45:04,736 --> 00:45:05,736 - I'm not. 930 00:45:07,172 --> 00:45:08,272 - What's the problem? 931 00:45:08,273 --> 00:45:09,273 - I... 932 00:45:10,441 --> 00:45:13,443 I can't really talk about it. 933 00:45:13,444 --> 00:45:16,246 - You know we might have an opening in the mail room. 934 00:45:16,247 --> 00:45:17,815 It would get you out of this place, 935 00:45:17,816 --> 00:45:20,250 you could work your way up. 936 00:45:20,251 --> 00:45:22,186 Another year or two you could have 937 00:45:22,187 --> 00:45:25,289 an office of your very own maybe. 938 00:45:25,290 --> 00:45:27,292 - What do you call this? 939 00:45:28,760 --> 00:45:31,195 I'm a little too old to start over 940 00:45:31,196 --> 00:45:33,597 without it being ridiculous to me 941 00:45:33,598 --> 00:45:35,500 and everyone around me. 942 00:45:37,735 --> 00:45:39,905 But, my niece needs a job. 943 00:45:42,507 --> 00:45:44,009 - This your niece? 944 00:45:45,944 --> 00:45:46,944 - Hi. 945 00:45:49,647 --> 00:45:51,582 Could I hold your baby? 946 00:45:53,018 --> 00:45:54,218 - Hi. 947 00:45:54,219 --> 00:45:56,721 (funky music) 948 00:45:59,757 --> 00:46:00,859 - She's quiet. 949 00:46:01,827 --> 00:46:03,828 - Yeah, she seems to be. 950 00:46:03,829 --> 00:46:06,064 - Yeah, she likes to sleep. 951 00:46:08,466 --> 00:46:10,235 - Where's the mother? 952 00:46:13,805 --> 00:46:14,805 - Larry? 953 00:46:16,674 --> 00:46:18,409 - I'm not the mother. 954 00:46:20,478 --> 00:46:22,980 (popping) 955 00:46:22,981 --> 00:46:25,282 - Discretion as always. 956 00:46:25,283 --> 00:46:27,952 - Is that why you brought along an entourage? 957 00:46:27,953 --> 00:46:28,887 - They're training. 958 00:46:28,888 --> 00:46:30,288 - Oh, that right? 959 00:46:32,223 --> 00:46:34,191 - They're part of the team. 960 00:46:34,192 --> 00:46:36,862 - Teamwork makes the dream work. 961 00:46:39,664 --> 00:46:40,664 - Good one. 962 00:46:42,367 --> 00:46:45,203 (phone vibrating) 963 00:46:49,507 --> 00:46:51,342 - I have to take this. 964 00:46:52,878 --> 00:46:56,047 But you can't give me the results now? 965 00:46:58,649 --> 00:46:59,649 Okay. 966 00:47:00,952 --> 00:47:02,153 I'm on my way. 967 00:47:06,624 --> 00:47:08,692 That was the doctor, I have to go in and get the results 968 00:47:08,693 --> 00:47:11,395 of my liver function panel. 969 00:47:11,396 --> 00:47:12,396 - Panel? 970 00:47:13,098 --> 00:47:14,331 - [Larry] I'm gonna slip out. 971 00:47:14,332 --> 00:47:15,632 - No wait, Larry, you can't. 972 00:47:15,633 --> 00:47:17,034 - I have to. 973 00:47:17,035 --> 00:47:18,235 - What about the baby, Larry? 974 00:47:18,236 --> 00:47:22,306 - It's fine, they're gonna take care of her. 975 00:47:22,307 --> 00:47:24,910 (upbeat music) 976 00:47:27,578 --> 00:47:29,613 - What's your name? 977 00:47:29,614 --> 00:47:30,781 - I'm Tiffany. 978 00:47:32,717 --> 00:47:35,285 - You're a very pretty girl, Tiffany. 979 00:47:35,286 --> 00:47:36,420 How old are you? 980 00:47:36,421 --> 00:47:38,256 - I'll be 19 in April. 981 00:47:39,690 --> 00:47:42,927 I just graduated high school so I'm looking for a job. 982 00:47:42,928 --> 00:47:45,229 I don't really like this place. 983 00:47:45,230 --> 00:47:46,430 - Well if you ever need any advice 984 00:47:46,431 --> 00:47:48,032 maybe we can go have dinner sometime. 985 00:47:48,033 --> 00:47:51,636 - Yeah I dunno, I don't really love advice. 986 00:47:53,571 --> 00:47:54,571 - Good. 987 00:47:55,506 --> 00:47:56,307 - I have a bad feeling about this. 988 00:47:56,308 --> 00:47:57,474 - What do you mean? 989 00:47:57,475 --> 00:47:59,176 - This place seems evil. 990 00:47:59,177 --> 00:48:00,844 - Malcolm, there's no such thing as evil. 991 00:48:00,845 --> 00:48:01,812 - I know. 992 00:48:01,813 --> 00:48:03,580 Larry this just isn't right. 993 00:48:03,581 --> 00:48:05,182 We killed a baby, we stole the money, 994 00:48:05,183 --> 00:48:06,783 we're gonna get away with it? 995 00:48:06,784 --> 00:48:10,054 Surely we have to pay a price. 996 00:48:10,055 --> 00:48:12,056 - Wait, now you're scaring the hell out of me. 997 00:48:12,057 --> 00:48:13,290 - Why? 998 00:48:13,291 --> 00:48:14,225 - I'm going to get the results to my panel, 999 00:48:14,226 --> 00:48:15,825 you're making me paranoid! 1000 00:48:15,826 --> 00:48:16,893 - You weren't paranoid before? 1001 00:48:16,894 --> 00:48:18,162 - [Larry] No, not really. 1002 00:48:18,163 --> 00:48:19,964 - Well Skinner made it pretty clear that 1003 00:48:19,965 --> 00:48:23,833 you were done for if you kept drinking. 1004 00:48:23,834 --> 00:48:25,335 - [Larry] True. 1005 00:48:25,336 --> 00:48:27,237 - And you've averaged two quarts of vodka per day 1006 00:48:27,238 --> 00:48:28,505 for the last 10 weeks. 1007 00:48:28,506 --> 00:48:29,506 - Correct. 1008 00:48:32,810 --> 00:48:34,744 - Why do you like drinking so much, Larry? 1009 00:48:34,745 --> 00:48:35,745 - Fuck you. 1010 00:48:37,482 --> 00:48:40,650 - There's a virus in the air. 1011 00:48:40,651 --> 00:48:42,352 You're feeling it too. 1012 00:48:42,353 --> 00:48:45,956 - It's true, I read the papers, I know what I'm doing 1013 00:48:45,957 --> 00:48:50,128 is wrong, I'm covering up things that should be exposed. 1014 00:48:51,762 --> 00:48:54,131 You're doing very bad things. 1015 00:48:54,132 --> 00:48:56,033 You're dealing in them. 1016 00:48:56,034 --> 00:49:00,205 By doing what I'm an accomplice to these very bad things. 1017 00:49:02,240 --> 00:49:05,076 - That's one way of looking at it. 1018 00:49:06,277 --> 00:49:09,613 - I just, I have a terrible feeling. 1019 00:49:09,614 --> 00:49:13,617 Like maybe, maybe being selfish and irresponsible 1020 00:49:13,618 --> 00:49:15,352 isn't the way to be. 1021 00:49:15,353 --> 00:49:17,154 - Malcolm, this isn't the time or place 1022 00:49:17,155 --> 00:49:19,157 to start feeling guilty. 1023 00:49:20,425 --> 00:49:21,926 - [Malcolm] Larry. 1024 00:49:22,793 --> 00:49:23,960 - [Ben] What do you like to do? 1025 00:49:23,961 --> 00:49:24,961 - [Tiffany] Have fun. 1026 00:49:24,962 --> 00:49:26,596 - [Ben] Yeah? 1027 00:49:26,597 --> 00:49:29,033 - [Tiffany] I'm not really looking to date anyone right now. 1028 00:49:29,034 --> 00:49:30,300 - [Ben] Why not? 1029 00:49:30,301 --> 00:49:34,671 - I'm too young, I don't wanna commit to anybody. 1030 00:49:34,672 --> 00:49:36,440 - I think that's an excellent attitude. 1031 00:49:36,441 --> 00:49:38,308 - You think so? - Absolutely. 1032 00:49:38,309 --> 00:49:40,777 What do you do for fun? 1033 00:49:40,778 --> 00:49:41,778 - Drugs. 1034 00:49:43,348 --> 00:49:44,781 - Okay Tiffany, I'm gonna have to take her from you. 1035 00:49:44,782 --> 00:49:45,616 - No, why? 1036 00:49:45,617 --> 00:49:46,851 - You know why. 1037 00:49:49,420 --> 00:49:50,487 - What are you doing? 1038 00:49:50,488 --> 00:49:51,322 You're gonna hurt her. 1039 00:49:51,323 --> 00:49:52,522 - No I'm not. 1040 00:49:52,523 --> 00:49:53,723 - Yes you are, you're gonna wake her up. 1041 00:49:53,724 --> 00:49:54,392 - [Fenton] No I'm not gonna wake her up. 1042 00:49:54,393 --> 00:49:55,625 (baby crying) 1043 00:49:55,626 --> 00:49:57,962 - [Tiffany] What are you talking about? 1044 00:50:01,066 --> 00:50:02,466 - Jesus! 1045 00:50:02,467 --> 00:50:04,969 - [Tiffany] Look what you did. 1046 00:50:08,973 --> 00:50:10,307 - Jesus? 1047 00:50:10,308 --> 00:50:13,211 (electronic music) 1048 00:50:15,746 --> 00:50:18,948 - [Girl Voiceover] A hug, that's all it took. 1049 00:50:18,949 --> 00:50:22,353 Turned out to be relevant to the process. 1050 00:50:28,393 --> 00:50:32,996 When's too early to say I wish I'd never been born? 1051 00:50:32,997 --> 00:50:35,965 - Okay, I'm gonna leave you here then. 1052 00:50:35,966 --> 00:50:37,701 You can get upstairs okay? 1053 00:50:37,702 --> 00:50:39,370 - Yeah, I'll manage. 1054 00:50:41,339 --> 00:50:42,939 Actually starting to get used to the darkness, 1055 00:50:42,940 --> 00:50:44,808 it's actually kinda comforting. 1056 00:50:44,809 --> 00:50:48,578 - You know what, let me try something real quick. 1057 00:50:48,579 --> 00:50:49,579 - Okay. 1058 00:50:54,785 --> 00:50:56,954 (singing) 1059 00:51:01,726 --> 00:51:03,627 - Okay, open your eyes. 1060 00:51:03,628 --> 00:51:04,629 Can you see? 1061 00:51:08,699 --> 00:51:12,437 You know, sometimes we see what we wanna see. 1062 00:51:13,638 --> 00:51:14,638 - Okay. 1063 00:51:15,673 --> 00:51:16,940 - So you're okay with keeping the baby 1064 00:51:16,941 --> 00:51:18,842 a few more weeks til we find her a home? 1065 00:51:18,843 --> 00:51:20,043 - Yeah, yeah. 1066 00:51:20,044 --> 00:51:21,545 - Dunno what happened to your friend. 1067 00:51:21,546 --> 00:51:24,248 He'll be back to help you take care of the girl, I assume. 1068 00:51:24,249 --> 00:51:25,915 - Yeah, he'll be back later. 1069 00:51:25,916 --> 00:51:26,983 - Alright, good luck to you. 1070 00:51:26,984 --> 00:51:29,220 Glad everything worked out. 1071 00:51:30,888 --> 00:51:31,722 - Goodbye. 1072 00:51:31,723 --> 00:51:34,225 (baby cooing) 1073 00:51:43,033 --> 00:51:44,033 - STD? 1074 00:51:57,948 --> 00:52:01,386 (upbeat electronic music) 1075 00:52:17,535 --> 00:52:18,802 - Larry? 1076 00:52:18,803 --> 00:52:22,972 I don't know where you are, but I need you. 1077 00:52:22,973 --> 00:52:25,709 Something strange has happened. 1078 00:52:25,710 --> 00:52:28,379 Something strange and wonderful. 1079 00:52:30,748 --> 00:52:34,919 I dunno if it's a sign but if it is it's pretty amazing. 1080 00:52:36,053 --> 00:52:37,554 It's funny, ever since you blinded me 1081 00:52:37,555 --> 00:52:39,957 I've never seen more clearly. 1082 00:52:41,626 --> 00:52:45,296 I feel a strange connection to the universe. 1083 00:52:46,431 --> 00:52:48,832 It's hard to explain. 1084 00:52:48,833 --> 00:52:52,002 (baby crying faintly) 1085 00:52:58,776 --> 00:53:02,880 By not seeing anything it's like I can see everything. 1086 00:53:36,180 --> 00:53:39,517 Phone off. (baby crying) 1087 00:53:45,690 --> 00:53:47,223 - Hey Mom. - Hello Ben. 1088 00:53:47,224 --> 00:53:48,224 - This is Alison. 1089 00:53:48,225 --> 00:53:49,293 - Hi Alison. - Hi! 1090 00:53:49,294 --> 00:53:51,361 It's so exciting to meet you! 1091 00:53:51,362 --> 00:53:52,862 - It's nice to meet you too. 1092 00:53:52,863 --> 00:53:55,031 - Alison, my mother hates that, don't do that. 1093 00:53:55,032 --> 00:53:57,033 - Oh I'm so sorry, I didn't know. 1094 00:53:57,034 --> 00:53:58,335 - Yeah that's not a great way to start. 1095 00:53:58,336 --> 00:54:01,004 - Actually it was kind of nice to be hugged. 1096 00:54:01,005 --> 00:54:02,507 Ben never hugs me. 1097 00:54:07,878 --> 00:54:09,714 Ben tells me you're... 1098 00:54:11,282 --> 00:54:13,550 You're into interior design. 1099 00:54:13,551 --> 00:54:16,252 - Oh yeah, that's how I make my living 1100 00:54:16,253 --> 00:54:17,887 but I'm small time. 1101 00:54:17,888 --> 00:54:22,158 I work with small budgets and mainly friends. 1102 00:54:22,159 --> 00:54:23,960 - And can you pay your bills this way? 1103 00:54:23,961 --> 00:54:25,795 (laughing) 1104 00:54:25,796 --> 00:54:26,864 - Not really. 1105 00:54:28,032 --> 00:54:29,966 Sometimes I actually lose money on a place. 1106 00:54:29,967 --> 00:54:31,835 But my parents help me out. 1107 00:54:31,836 --> 00:54:34,037 - So you sponge off of your parents? 1108 00:54:34,038 --> 00:54:35,472 (laughing) 1109 00:54:35,473 --> 00:54:36,473 - Kind of. 1110 00:54:37,442 --> 00:54:39,643 It's terrible, I know, but I'm lucky. 1111 00:54:39,644 --> 00:54:42,779 I really wanna live here and they insist on helping me 1112 00:54:42,780 --> 00:54:45,649 and I need the help sometimes. 1113 00:54:45,650 --> 00:54:49,586 - Well, gosh I don't know maybe if you applied yourself more 1114 00:54:49,587 --> 00:54:53,256 and really worked hard you could become self-sufficient. 1115 00:54:53,257 --> 00:54:57,026 - Well I work a lot, I do, but you're right, you're right. 1116 00:54:57,027 --> 00:54:59,929 My mother gets after me about that too. 1117 00:54:59,930 --> 00:55:02,298 I just get distracted so easily. 1118 00:55:02,299 --> 00:55:05,702 I mean there's so much to see and do in the city and 1119 00:55:05,703 --> 00:55:08,104 it's all so inspiring. 1120 00:55:08,105 --> 00:55:10,139 I just really wanna take it all in 1121 00:55:10,140 --> 00:55:13,443 before I meet the man of my dreams and have a baby. 1122 00:55:13,444 --> 00:55:15,144 - Is that right? 1123 00:55:15,145 --> 00:55:16,646 - I mean I like interior design, 1124 00:55:16,647 --> 00:55:18,715 but I really just wanna be a mom. 1125 00:55:18,716 --> 00:55:19,716 - Wow. 1126 00:55:21,251 --> 00:55:24,355 Well I'm not sure if Ben is ready for 1127 00:55:25,690 --> 00:55:27,691 that kind of responsibility. 1128 00:55:27,692 --> 00:55:29,693 (giggling) 1129 00:55:29,694 --> 00:55:33,463 - Yeah, I know, that's one of the reasons I love him. 1130 00:55:33,464 --> 00:55:35,132 - You love him, huh? 1131 00:55:38,469 --> 00:55:39,469 - Yeah. 1132 00:55:41,071 --> 00:55:44,374 But I know this probably isn't permanent. 1133 00:55:44,375 --> 00:55:45,375 - [Hester] Really? 1134 00:55:45,376 --> 00:55:47,010 And what does that mean? 1135 00:55:47,011 --> 00:55:48,478 - Yeah, what does that mean? 1136 00:55:48,479 --> 00:55:50,213 - Well you know what I mean. 1137 00:55:50,214 --> 00:55:51,615 You don't love me. 1138 00:55:51,616 --> 00:55:53,082 - Wait, I didn't say that. 1139 00:55:53,083 --> 00:55:55,118 - Well right, but you didn't say you did either, 1140 00:55:55,119 --> 00:55:56,620 that's the most important part. 1141 00:55:56,621 --> 00:55:58,488 - But that's the problem, you said it. 1142 00:55:58,489 --> 00:55:59,989 - Right. 1143 00:55:59,990 --> 00:56:01,458 And I meant it, I felt it and I meant it so I said it. 1144 00:56:01,459 --> 00:56:04,127 - Ben is a child, Alison, you should move on. 1145 00:56:04,128 --> 00:56:05,328 - Mom, what are you talking about? 1146 00:56:05,329 --> 00:56:06,963 - Alison. 1147 00:56:06,964 --> 00:56:09,966 Why do you wanna be a mom so badly? 1148 00:56:09,967 --> 00:56:11,635 - Just instinct? 1149 00:56:11,636 --> 00:56:13,538 I dunno, maternal urge? 1150 00:56:15,339 --> 00:56:18,642 Well I have a lot of friends who are writers, 1151 00:56:18,643 --> 00:56:20,176 artists, lawyers, you know. 1152 00:56:20,177 --> 00:56:23,146 I get invites to book readings and art openings and I go 1153 00:56:23,147 --> 00:56:26,683 and I see how proud my friends are and I'm proud of them. 1154 00:56:26,684 --> 00:56:30,186 Takes a big commitment to achieve big things. 1155 00:56:30,187 --> 00:56:32,188 - That's a little simplistic, isn't it, Mom? 1156 00:56:32,189 --> 00:56:33,090 - Be quiet please. 1157 00:56:33,090 --> 00:56:34,090 Continue. 1158 00:56:35,460 --> 00:56:38,227 - Well, I just imagine there's this moment 1159 00:56:38,228 --> 00:56:41,030 when someone gets a New York Times book review 1160 00:56:41,031 --> 00:56:43,099 or makes some huge medical breakthrough 1161 00:56:43,100 --> 00:56:46,369 or closes some multimillion dollar deal where 1162 00:56:46,370 --> 00:56:47,937 they're thinking this is it. 1163 00:56:47,938 --> 00:56:50,106 You know, I've done it, I've achieved what I've always 1164 00:56:50,107 --> 00:56:51,340 wanted to achieve. 1165 00:56:51,341 --> 00:56:54,243 And I'm no genius, but I'm no idiot either. 1166 00:56:54,244 --> 00:56:56,680 I think I could work hard and achieve things like that. 1167 00:56:56,681 --> 00:56:57,947 - Mm hmm. 1168 00:56:57,948 --> 00:57:01,084 - But I just don't have those kind of fantasies. 1169 00:57:01,085 --> 00:57:03,520 Probably a lot of people don't. 1170 00:57:03,521 --> 00:57:06,222 But... (giggles) 1171 00:57:06,223 --> 00:57:09,258 Well I do have a specific dream in my head 1172 00:57:09,259 --> 00:57:11,328 I'd like to see play out. 1173 00:57:14,198 --> 00:57:16,800 I imagine I'm sleeping in bed with my husband 1174 00:57:16,801 --> 00:57:19,836 and it's morning and the sun is pouring 1175 00:57:19,837 --> 00:57:22,672 through the windows or it's raining outside, 1176 00:57:22,673 --> 00:57:24,874 I guess it doesn't really matter. 1177 00:57:24,875 --> 00:57:28,578 But we're sound asleep and the bedroom door opens 1178 00:57:28,579 --> 00:57:32,081 and our two children come in and they say, 1179 00:57:32,082 --> 00:57:36,853 "It's time to get up Mommy, it's time to get up Daddy!" 1180 00:57:36,854 --> 00:57:38,755 And we just pull them into bed with us 1181 00:57:38,756 --> 00:57:42,426 and we all just giggle and laugh as a family 1182 00:57:43,861 --> 00:57:46,631 and it's perfect and we're happy. 1183 00:57:48,666 --> 00:57:50,366 - You're such a sweetheart. 1184 00:57:50,367 --> 00:57:52,401 (giggles) 1185 00:57:52,402 --> 00:57:55,505 - Yeah but it's never perfect and you know 1186 00:57:55,506 --> 00:57:57,641 that's just an idealistic fantasy. 1187 00:57:57,642 --> 00:57:59,876 The reality is that having children is very stressful 1188 00:57:59,877 --> 00:58:02,812 and I'm not a morning person, I like to sleep late. 1189 00:58:02,813 --> 00:58:04,247 - Oh my god. 1190 00:58:04,248 --> 00:58:06,550 - Anyway, I know these things scare you, Ben. 1191 00:58:06,551 --> 00:58:07,917 - Then why are we still together? 1192 00:58:07,918 --> 00:58:10,119 - Because I love you! 1193 00:58:10,120 --> 00:58:11,588 - Break up with him. 1194 00:58:11,589 --> 00:58:12,589 - Wait, really? 1195 00:58:12,590 --> 00:58:14,123 I should, shouldn't I. 1196 00:58:14,124 --> 00:58:15,559 - He brought you here because he wants to break up with you. 1197 00:58:15,560 --> 00:58:16,893 - Mom! 1198 00:58:16,894 --> 00:58:18,695 - Oh quit calling me that! 1199 00:58:18,696 --> 00:58:19,530 You know what? 1200 00:58:19,531 --> 00:58:20,531 I'm not even his mother. 1201 00:58:20,532 --> 00:58:21,931 - Wait, huh? 1202 00:58:21,932 --> 00:58:22,767 - She's lying. 1203 00:58:22,767 --> 00:58:23,734 Mom, seriously. 1204 00:58:23,735 --> 00:58:24,834 - Oh come on. 1205 00:58:24,835 --> 00:58:26,435 He pays me. 1206 00:58:26,436 --> 00:58:28,437 He pays me to pretend I'm his mother 1207 00:58:28,438 --> 00:58:30,173 and I hate all of his girlfriends 1208 00:58:30,174 --> 00:58:32,842 so that he has an excuse to break up with them. 1209 00:58:32,843 --> 00:58:34,343 - Really? 1210 00:58:34,344 --> 00:58:36,412 - This is the fourth one of you that I've done in a year. 1211 00:58:36,413 --> 00:58:38,715 Oh he begged me to do this one, yeah. 1212 00:58:38,716 --> 00:58:42,185 Promised to donate $5,000 to a koala rescue organization. 1213 00:58:42,186 --> 00:58:44,554 (laughing) 1214 00:58:44,555 --> 00:58:47,123 - This doesn't seem possible! 1215 00:58:47,124 --> 00:58:48,892 - Well, you know, he's a coward. 1216 00:58:48,893 --> 00:58:49,827 - [Ben] Well look at her! 1217 00:58:49,827 --> 00:58:50,628 She's laughing even at this! 1218 00:58:50,628 --> 00:58:51,361 - Well who cares? 1219 00:58:51,361 --> 00:58:52,196 It's cute. 1220 00:58:52,197 --> 00:58:53,730 - You really do this? 1221 00:58:53,731 --> 00:58:55,665 - Yes he does it, he's doing it, he's doing it right now! 1222 00:58:55,666 --> 00:58:56,500 This is him doing it, here he is! 1223 00:58:56,500 --> 00:58:57,334 - Wait, wait a second! 1224 00:58:57,334 --> 00:58:58,268 Okay. 1225 00:58:58,269 --> 00:58:59,302 - No, this is fascinating. 1226 00:58:59,303 --> 00:59:00,804 Tell me more. 1227 00:59:00,805 --> 00:59:02,538 - Well, he can't commit. 1228 00:59:02,539 --> 00:59:04,407 When he starts getting antsy and wants to get out 1229 00:59:04,408 --> 00:59:07,310 of a relationship, he faxes me a dossier. 1230 00:59:07,311 --> 00:59:08,578 - Fax, nobody faxes! 1231 00:59:08,579 --> 00:59:10,413 - And then I have to pick out the things 1232 00:59:10,414 --> 00:59:11,781 that I can use in the meeting 1233 00:59:11,782 --> 00:59:13,349 and then I have to denigrate these poor girls. 1234 00:59:13,350 --> 00:59:14,517 - Wow. 1235 00:59:14,518 --> 00:59:15,385 - I've even rehearsed lines. - Wow. 1236 00:59:15,386 --> 00:59:17,655 (giggling) 1237 00:59:20,557 --> 00:59:23,359 - What are you laughing at? 1238 00:59:23,360 --> 00:59:25,262 Are you laughing at me? 1239 00:59:29,700 --> 00:59:32,636 I mean is this just some kind of joke to you? 1240 00:59:32,637 --> 00:59:34,503 - No, no, I'm sorry. 1241 00:59:34,504 --> 00:59:36,806 - No no no no, those are my lines. 1242 00:59:36,807 --> 00:59:40,677 Yeah see, I'm supposed to grill you about laughing. 1243 00:59:40,678 --> 00:59:43,680 Yeah, I'm supposed to make you feel bad about laughing 1244 00:59:43,681 --> 00:59:46,916 so that he can justify breaking up with you. 1245 00:59:46,917 --> 00:59:48,652 That's what we're dealing with here. 1246 00:59:48,653 --> 00:59:49,886 Mm hmm. 1247 00:59:49,887 --> 00:59:51,554 I mean I love that you laugh, I think you have 1248 00:59:51,555 --> 00:59:52,656 an adorable laugh, I mean if I were dating you... 1249 00:59:52,657 --> 00:59:53,890 - Okay enough, enough Hester! 1250 00:59:53,891 --> 00:59:54,825 - [Hester] I would be like laugh more, 1251 00:59:54,826 --> 00:59:56,025 laugh as much as you want! 1252 00:59:56,026 --> 00:59:57,226 - I don't know why you're doing this now 1253 00:59:57,227 --> 00:59:58,828 after all these years, but you know what? 1254 00:59:58,829 --> 01:00:00,063 Okay, okay. 1255 01:00:00,064 --> 01:00:01,564 And right. 1256 01:00:01,565 --> 01:00:03,432 It's probably not the most ethical way to break up 1257 01:00:03,433 --> 01:00:04,968 with someone, but you know what? 1258 01:00:04,969 --> 01:00:06,736 It would never have to come to this if you women 1259 01:00:06,737 --> 01:00:09,172 could just be realistic about things. 1260 01:00:09,173 --> 01:00:10,206 Just be realistic. 1261 01:00:10,207 --> 01:00:12,976 The soulmate doesn't exist. 1262 01:00:12,977 --> 01:00:15,478 And the white wedding, the perfect marriage, 1263 01:00:15,479 --> 01:00:20,283 the perfect death do us part scenario, it's a fantasy man! 1264 01:00:20,284 --> 01:00:24,587 And when I say man, I mean, you know, I mean, I mean man. 1265 01:00:24,588 --> 01:00:27,056 Because to call someone man denotes a disconnect 1266 01:00:27,057 --> 01:00:30,159 and I am disconnected from both of you right now. 1267 01:00:30,160 --> 01:00:31,494 (laughing) 1268 01:00:31,495 --> 01:00:33,029 It never, it never fails! 1269 01:00:33,030 --> 01:00:34,430 It never fails! 1270 01:00:34,431 --> 01:00:35,965 You're in a solid relationship with a woman, 1271 01:00:35,966 --> 01:00:38,067 it's going really well, and then at some point 1272 01:00:38,068 --> 01:00:40,569 the woman has to screw up everything by being, 1273 01:00:40,570 --> 01:00:42,105 you know, this. 1274 01:00:42,106 --> 01:00:44,473 Like wanting feminine things. 1275 01:00:44,474 --> 01:00:46,109 You know, like I want a baby because I have 1276 01:00:46,110 --> 01:00:49,012 maternal instincts, I wanna breastfeed. 1277 01:00:49,013 --> 01:00:50,279 I wanna get married. 1278 01:00:50,280 --> 01:00:52,315 I wanna say my vows and pledge my love 1279 01:00:52,316 --> 01:00:55,018 in front of a bunch of people I don't even know because... 1280 01:00:55,019 --> 01:00:56,019 What? 1281 01:00:56,020 --> 01:00:57,286 Why? 1282 01:00:57,287 --> 01:00:58,654 I want a baby so I can unburden myself 1283 01:00:58,655 --> 01:01:00,323 from who I thought I was gonna be. 1284 01:01:00,324 --> 01:01:01,825 And then you. 1285 01:01:01,826 --> 01:01:03,059 Like what? 1286 01:01:03,060 --> 01:01:04,828 You have to go and screw up this thing we have 1287 01:01:04,829 --> 01:01:06,295 because she hugged you? 1288 01:01:06,296 --> 01:01:07,131 Is that what it is, a hug? 1289 01:01:07,131 --> 01:01:08,098 That's all it took? 1290 01:01:08,099 --> 01:01:09,465 - Ben, please calm down. 1291 01:01:09,466 --> 01:01:11,400 - Don't tell me what to do, Alison. 1292 01:01:11,401 --> 01:01:12,601 You're always telling me what to do. 1293 01:01:12,602 --> 01:01:13,537 Everyone's always telling me what to do. 1294 01:01:13,537 --> 01:01:14,471 I don't tell you what to do. 1295 01:01:14,472 --> 01:01:15,671 I don't tell you not to laugh. 1296 01:01:15,672 --> 01:01:17,206 - Why would anyone tell anyone not to laugh? 1297 01:01:17,207 --> 01:01:18,842 - Because it's fucked up to laugh all the time! 1298 01:01:18,843 --> 01:01:20,043 - Oh yeah? 1299 01:01:20,044 --> 01:01:21,845 Oh yeah, I'm fucked up for laughing? 1300 01:01:21,846 --> 01:01:24,213 - No Alison, he's fucked up. 1301 01:01:24,214 --> 01:01:25,214 - I'm fucked? 1302 01:01:25,215 --> 01:01:26,950 I'm fucked up. 1303 01:01:26,951 --> 01:01:28,384 You're fucked up. 1304 01:01:28,385 --> 01:01:30,319 You too, you're fucked, both, the world is fucked up! 1305 01:01:30,320 --> 01:01:33,222 And having babies, bringing babies into this fucked up world 1306 01:01:33,223 --> 01:01:34,657 and then just laughing all the time 1307 01:01:34,658 --> 01:01:37,226 isn't gonna change anything. 1308 01:01:37,227 --> 01:01:38,896 - Well what is, Ben? 1309 01:01:40,831 --> 01:01:41,998 - Drugs. 1310 01:01:41,999 --> 01:01:43,299 - Drugs? 1311 01:01:43,300 --> 01:01:44,901 - I have to go. 1312 01:01:44,902 --> 01:01:46,135 Bye, bye Alison, bye. 1313 01:01:46,136 --> 01:01:47,470 Bye, bye Mom, bye! 1314 01:01:47,471 --> 01:01:48,471 Oh! 1315 01:01:48,472 --> 01:01:50,039 I almost forgot. 1316 01:01:50,040 --> 01:01:52,241 I dunno, I dunno, it's the way it is, 1317 01:01:52,242 --> 01:01:53,910 you just pay for things you don't want, 1318 01:01:53,911 --> 01:01:55,178 it's what it's all about. 1319 01:01:55,179 --> 01:01:56,479 This whole world of boy meets girls 1320 01:01:56,480 --> 01:01:59,015 is actually just a world of let me spend my money 1321 01:01:59,016 --> 01:02:01,150 on temporary happiness but inevitable misery 1322 01:02:01,151 --> 01:02:04,453 because you all just can't do what you're told. 1323 01:02:04,454 --> 01:02:06,055 You can't do what you're told. 1324 01:02:06,056 --> 01:02:08,591 (upbeat electronic music) 1325 01:02:08,592 --> 01:02:10,995 - Ben, you know what you are? 1326 01:02:12,429 --> 01:02:13,797 - Is it a coward? 1327 01:02:13,798 --> 01:02:15,132 - You're a bore. 1328 01:02:22,439 --> 01:02:24,008 - Taking this back. 1329 01:02:24,909 --> 01:02:26,109 - Please shove it up your ass, 1330 01:02:26,110 --> 01:02:29,713 you misogynist, shallow, self-centered oaf. 1331 01:02:58,575 --> 01:02:59,575 (bells ring) 1332 01:02:59,576 --> 01:03:00,510 - Hi, Ava? 1333 01:03:00,511 --> 01:03:02,078 - Hi yeah, you must be Ben. 1334 01:03:02,079 --> 01:03:03,346 - Yeah, how are you? 1335 01:03:03,347 --> 01:03:05,349 - I'm good, how are you? 1336 01:03:09,820 --> 01:03:11,754 - How old are you? 1337 01:03:11,755 --> 01:03:14,157 - I'm, uh, 40 friendly. 1338 01:03:14,158 --> 01:03:15,391 - Have you ever been married? 1339 01:03:15,392 --> 01:03:19,028 - Yes, married before and I'm actually 43 1340 01:03:19,029 --> 01:03:22,465 but um maybe we could slow down a little bit? 1341 01:03:22,466 --> 01:03:24,934 - Do you want to get married again? 1342 01:03:24,935 --> 01:03:27,136 - Uh, I do, yes, of course. 1343 01:03:27,137 --> 01:03:28,537 - [Ben] And children? 1344 01:03:28,538 --> 01:03:29,706 - No children. 1345 01:03:30,875 --> 01:03:32,408 - Do you want to have them? 1346 01:03:32,409 --> 01:03:35,344 - Um, yeah, of course if I'm blessed enough to have them. 1347 01:03:35,345 --> 01:03:36,946 - Blessed, are you a Jesus freak? 1348 01:03:36,947 --> 01:03:40,416 - I consider myself a spiritual person. 1349 01:03:40,417 --> 01:03:42,518 So what, you taking off? 1350 01:03:42,519 --> 01:03:43,519 - [Ben] Yeah. 1351 01:03:43,520 --> 01:03:45,354 - Hey was this a test? 1352 01:03:45,355 --> 01:03:47,690 - Uh yeah, you know, it was, in fact. 1353 01:03:47,691 --> 01:03:49,458 You're a 43 year old woman, you wanna get married, 1354 01:03:49,459 --> 01:03:52,328 start a family, and that's not what I want right now. 1355 01:03:52,329 --> 01:03:54,331 - Okay well that's fair. 1356 01:03:55,632 --> 01:03:56,933 - I think so. 1357 01:03:56,934 --> 01:04:00,037 - [Ava] Hey can I ask you a question? 1358 01:04:03,707 --> 01:04:04,808 - Yeah, sure. 1359 01:04:06,743 --> 01:04:08,312 - What do you want? 1360 01:04:13,250 --> 01:04:14,418 - Do you mind? 1361 01:04:26,931 --> 01:04:28,697 That sounds awesome. 1362 01:04:28,698 --> 01:04:32,468 That's what the kids say right, they say awesome? 1363 01:04:32,469 --> 01:04:34,170 - I can't believe we've been together for five years. 1364 01:04:34,171 --> 01:04:35,404 - Has it been that long? 1365 01:04:35,405 --> 01:04:37,673 - [Girl Voiceover] The distant future. 1366 01:04:37,674 --> 01:04:39,242 - [Ben] Well it's flown by. 1367 01:04:39,243 --> 01:04:40,243 - Like a rooster. 1368 01:04:40,244 --> 01:04:41,877 - It's flown by like a rooster. 1369 01:04:41,878 --> 01:04:42,946 - Like a rooster on drugs. 1370 01:04:42,947 --> 01:04:44,714 - A rooster on drugs. 1371 01:04:55,325 --> 01:04:57,260 - [Girl] Dad, can we see a movie? 1372 01:04:57,261 --> 01:04:59,762 - Yeah of course, we can do whatever you want. 1373 01:04:59,763 --> 01:05:01,030 - [Girl] Can we get some ice cream? 1374 01:05:01,031 --> 01:05:02,565 - Absolutely. 1375 01:05:02,566 --> 01:05:05,901 Movie and an ice cream sounds like the perfect Friday night. 1376 01:05:05,902 --> 01:05:07,003 Although the last movie we saw 1377 01:05:07,004 --> 01:05:08,504 I didn't really care for. 1378 01:05:08,505 --> 01:05:09,973 - Why not? 1379 01:05:09,974 --> 01:05:12,508 - Well, because the characters didn't really change much 1380 01:05:12,509 --> 01:05:14,077 from the beginning to the end. 1381 01:05:14,078 --> 01:05:16,479 They just, they stayed the same. 1382 01:05:16,480 --> 01:05:17,480 - So? 1383 01:05:17,481 --> 01:05:18,647 - Well it's kind of a big deal. 1384 01:05:18,648 --> 01:05:20,616 - I'm pretty excited. 1385 01:05:20,617 --> 01:05:22,485 Never been to a vampire goth club before. 1386 01:05:22,486 --> 01:05:23,686 - You're gonna like it. 1387 01:05:23,687 --> 01:05:25,154 - Yeah, is it gonna be fun? - Yeah. 1388 01:05:25,155 --> 01:05:26,422 - [Malcolm] Because in a movie when a character's flawed 1389 01:05:26,423 --> 01:05:29,525 or makes a mistake or series of mistakes, 1390 01:05:29,526 --> 01:05:32,362 they can change, they can grow up. 1391 01:05:34,664 --> 01:05:35,664 - Okay. 1392 01:05:36,500 --> 01:05:38,434 - Do you understand? - Yeah. 1393 01:05:38,435 --> 01:05:39,769 - You do? - Yeah. 1394 01:05:40,971 --> 01:05:43,974 - [Malcolm] Growing up is important. 1395 01:05:44,941 --> 01:05:46,309 - What is that, glitter? 1396 01:05:46,310 --> 01:05:47,710 - I don't know, it's kinda new. 1397 01:05:47,711 --> 01:05:48,678 - Is it like acid, coke? 1398 01:05:48,679 --> 01:05:50,713 - Think it's more like meth. 1399 01:05:50,714 --> 01:05:53,316 We're gonna be up for several days but it's kinda herbal. 1400 01:05:53,317 --> 01:05:55,084 - I can't wait to grow up. 1401 01:05:55,085 --> 01:05:56,719 - You can't? 1402 01:05:56,720 --> 01:05:58,154 Yeah, that'll make me sad but I can't wait 1403 01:05:58,155 --> 01:05:59,922 to see that happen too. 1404 01:05:59,923 --> 01:06:01,790 - You can't see, why will you be sad? 1405 01:06:01,791 --> 01:06:05,294 - Well, you see one day you're gonna be big enough 1406 01:06:05,295 --> 01:06:07,630 to leave home and you're gonna go to college 1407 01:06:07,631 --> 01:06:09,798 and you're gonna make new friends 1408 01:06:09,799 --> 01:06:12,468 and you're probably gonna get romantically involved 1409 01:06:12,469 --> 01:06:13,702 with someone. 1410 01:06:13,703 --> 01:06:15,571 And maybe you'll start a family, 1411 01:06:15,572 --> 01:06:18,641 maybe you'll start a career but you and I probably won't 1412 01:06:18,642 --> 01:06:20,609 see each other as much. 1413 01:06:20,610 --> 01:06:23,412 - I don't want that to happen. 1414 01:06:23,413 --> 01:06:25,981 - [Malcolm] It's not a bad thing, though. 1415 01:06:25,982 --> 01:06:27,383 - Oh, that's good. 1416 01:06:27,384 --> 01:06:29,118 - [Malcolm] Yeah, I think so. 1417 01:06:29,119 --> 01:06:30,586 - This is easily the healthiest relationship 1418 01:06:30,587 --> 01:06:31,854 I've ever been in in my life. 1419 01:06:31,855 --> 01:06:32,855 - Me too. 1420 01:06:34,491 --> 01:06:37,661 I'm pregnant. (coughs) 1421 01:06:54,511 --> 01:06:57,514 (mellow rock music) 1422 01:07:03,187 --> 01:07:06,856 ♪ I get so tall on being me 1423 01:07:09,059 --> 01:07:10,993 ♪ Oh I am joy I am a song 1424 01:07:10,994 --> 01:07:15,464 ♪ There is no place I don't belong 1425 01:07:15,465 --> 01:07:17,433 ♪ And now the earth can't hold me 1426 01:07:17,434 --> 01:07:20,936 ♪ The earth will never hold me 1427 01:07:20,937 --> 01:07:25,109 ♪ I know the earth won't hold me while I want to live 1428 01:07:28,745 --> 01:07:32,916 ♪ I follow walls that lead to space 1429 01:07:33,817 --> 01:07:36,152 ♪ I tumble into what I say 1430 01:07:36,153 --> 01:07:40,689 ♪ I attack the dark and find the day 1431 01:07:40,690 --> 01:07:42,358 ♪ And now the earth can't hold me 1432 01:07:42,359 --> 01:07:45,861 ♪ The earth will never hold me 1433 01:07:45,862 --> 01:07:50,033 ♪ I know the earth won't hold me while I want to live 1434 01:07:53,737 --> 01:07:57,474 ♪ I leap into the moving sun 1435 01:07:58,875 --> 01:08:00,943 ♪ I feel the heat but I won't burn 1436 01:08:00,944 --> 01:08:05,414 ♪ I'll use the light for my return 1437 01:08:05,415 --> 01:08:07,250 ♪ And now the earth can't hold me 1438 01:08:07,251 --> 01:08:11,019 ♪ The earth will never hold me 1439 01:08:11,020 --> 01:08:15,192 ♪ I know the earth won't hold me while I want to live 1440 01:08:18,628 --> 01:08:22,799 ♪ I string the newly colored beads 1441 01:08:23,833 --> 01:08:26,068 ♪ I keep no time I reach no fear 1442 01:08:26,069 --> 01:08:30,539 ♪ I have no way yet all is here 1443 01:08:30,540 --> 01:08:32,175 ♪ And now the earth can't hold me 1444 01:08:32,176 --> 01:08:36,011 ♪ The earth will never hold me 1445 01:08:36,012 --> 01:08:40,184 ♪ I know the earth won't hold me while I want to live 1446 01:09:01,137 --> 01:09:04,874 ♪ I leap into the moving sun 1447 01:09:06,210 --> 01:09:08,477 ♪ I feel the heat but I won't burn 1448 01:09:08,478 --> 01:09:12,848 ♪ I'll use the light for my return 1449 01:09:12,849 --> 01:09:14,617 ♪ And now the earth can't hold me 1450 01:09:14,618 --> 01:09:18,454 ♪ The earth will never hold me 1451 01:09:18,455 --> 01:09:22,626 ♪ I know the earth won't hold me while I want to live 1452 01:09:25,762 --> 01:09:29,933 ♪ I string the newly colored beads 1453 01:09:31,301 --> 01:09:33,402 ♪ I keep no time I reach no fear 1454 01:09:33,403 --> 01:09:37,940 ♪ I have no way yet all is here 1455 01:09:37,941 --> 01:09:39,908 ♪ And now the earth can't hold me 1456 01:09:39,909 --> 01:09:43,412 ♪ The earth will never hold me 1457 01:09:43,413 --> 01:09:47,584 ♪ I know the earth won't hold me while I want to live 1458 01:09:51,020 --> 01:09:54,758 ♪ I leap into the moving sun 102471