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00:00:01,740 --> 00:00:02,654
- [Ricky] Warning: The
following program contains
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00:00:02,698 --> 00:00:06,006
really coarse language,
weed, alcohol consumption,
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00:00:06,049 --> 00:00:09,966
smoking and sexual
infer-fer-lances.
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00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:13,143
This content may not be
suitable for viewers under 18.
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00:00:13,187 --> 00:00:14,710
To activate parental controls,
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00:00:14,753 --> 00:00:17,017
please press the big go
[beep] yourself button
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00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:18,148
on your remote control.
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00:00:19,628 --> 00:00:24,589
["Trailer Park Boys
Theme" by Blain Morris]
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00:00:31,292 --> 00:00:32,815
- Gimme a little snap.
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00:00:32,858 --> 00:00:34,034
[lid drops]
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00:00:34,077 --> 00:00:35,861
Little snap of pepperoni.
[package crinkles]
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00:00:35,905 --> 00:00:38,429
[Ricky sighs]
- What kind is it, is it hot?
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00:00:38,473 --> 00:00:41,041
- This is hot.
14
00:00:41,084 --> 00:00:41,954
- Yes.
15
00:00:43,217 --> 00:00:44,957
[pepperoni snaps]
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00:00:45,001 --> 00:00:47,656
That's the best pepperoni
you'll ever eat right there.
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00:00:48,918 --> 00:00:50,963
Hot Brother's Pepperoni.
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00:00:51,007 --> 00:00:53,140
[chomps pepperoni]
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00:00:53,183 --> 00:00:53,966
- Yeah.
- Yup.
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00:00:55,446 --> 00:00:57,753
- I'd rather have the
pepperoni deep fried, ya know?
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00:00:57,796 --> 00:00:58,841
Dip it in honey mustard.
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00:00:58,884 --> 00:01:00,364
That's the way to do it, man.
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00:01:00,408 --> 00:01:02,192
[bag crinkles]
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00:01:02,236 --> 00:01:03,846
- It's alright like
that, but this is good,
25
00:01:03,889 --> 00:01:05,543
just like this.
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00:01:05,587 --> 00:01:07,589
- Oh yeah he's making
pepperoni fingers.
27
00:01:09,112 --> 00:01:09,939
- Careful, Ricky.
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00:01:09,982 --> 00:01:11,810
Your knife is dull as fuck.
29
00:01:11,854 --> 00:01:12,855
- Yup.
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- And that's how you
cut yourself.
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[knife cutting]
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00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:15,858
[Ricky sighs]
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- [Bubbles] People
don't know that,
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00:01:17,338 --> 00:01:19,862
a dull knife is way more
dangerous than a sharp knife.
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00:01:21,037 --> 00:01:22,647
'Cause it'll still
slice ya wide open.
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00:01:22,691 --> 00:01:23,953
- My fingers still fucked,
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00:01:23,996 --> 00:01:26,608
I wonder if I'm gonna
lose that fuckin' nail.
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[knife cutting]
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00:01:28,044 --> 00:01:30,090
- [Julian] You're definitely
losing that nail, man.
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00:01:30,133 --> 00:01:31,613
- What'd you do to your finger?
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00:01:31,656 --> 00:01:32,918
[knife cutting]
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00:01:32,962 --> 00:01:35,399
- I fuckin' broke her
on the cruise ship, man.
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Wasted.
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00:01:37,358 --> 00:01:39,142
Slammed a door on my fuckin'
finger.
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Well I didn't, the waves did.
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[Bubbles chuckles]
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- The waves did?
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00:01:44,234 --> 00:01:45,496
[bag crinkles]
- [Ricky] Yeah.
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Door in my room just kept going
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[Ricky imitates door slamming]
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Then one time, I was
walking through
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00:01:51,850 --> 00:01:53,504
and the cocksucker bit me.
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00:01:55,376 --> 00:01:55,724
- It closed on ya.
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00:01:57,204 --> 00:01:59,684
- Doors don't bite, Ricky.
- Doors don't bite, Ricky.
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00:01:59,728 --> 00:02:01,121
[bag crinkles]
56
00:02:01,164 --> 00:02:02,818
- Okay, so what's
happening boys?
57
00:02:02,861 --> 00:02:04,559
- I don't know, man.
- Still wakin' up here.
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00:02:04,602 --> 00:02:07,257
- Park After Dark, we're
makin' that right now.
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00:02:07,301 --> 00:02:08,302
[cutting sounds]
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00:02:08,345 --> 00:02:09,868
- We're makin' Dormeatchos.
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00:02:10,826 --> 00:02:12,262
Which is Doritos with some meat,
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00:02:12,306 --> 00:02:13,698
[faint heavy rain sounds]
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00:02:13,742 --> 00:02:15,874
and cheese, what the
fuck is going on outside?
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00:02:15,918 --> 00:02:16,658
- Just started rainin'
horse cocks.
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00:02:16,701 --> 00:02:18,094
- Rainin', man.
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00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,051
- That sounds like a fuckin',
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00:02:19,095 --> 00:02:20,401
[cutting sounds]
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00:02:20,444 --> 00:02:22,664
what do you call those
things, a hurricocksucker.
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00:02:22,707 --> 00:02:24,753
- That is rainin' horse
cocks out there.
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00:02:24,796 --> 00:02:27,103
[cutting sounds]
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00:02:28,409 --> 00:02:30,933
Jesus Murphy, did you
guys hear the thunder
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00:02:30,976 --> 00:02:31,934
this mornin'?
- [Ricky] Thunder!
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00:02:31,977 --> 00:02:32,804
- [Julian] It was pretty loud,
man.
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00:02:32,848 --> 00:02:33,805
- [Ricky] Hear the thunder!
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00:02:34,893 --> 00:02:36,634
[Bubble's chuckles]
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00:02:36,678 --> 00:02:38,201
- I don't even know what
song you're singin' Ricky.
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00:02:38,245 --> 00:02:39,898
[Ricky laughs]
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00:02:39,942 --> 00:02:41,161
Did you hear the
thunder this mornin'?
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00:02:41,204 --> 00:02:42,901
- It was pretty crazy, man.
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00:02:42,945 --> 00:02:45,643
- [Ricky] Lightning
and the thunder!
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00:02:45,687 --> 00:02:48,385
- Fuckin' loud, felt like the
whole sky was gonna blow up.
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00:02:48,429 --> 00:02:49,734
- You know what, it was
weird 'cause the thunder kept
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00:02:49,778 --> 00:02:51,171
fuckin' just goin' on and on.
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00:02:51,214 --> 00:02:53,085
It sounded like a goddamn
- Yeah it was a long fuckin'-
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00:02:53,129 --> 00:02:54,478
- jet plane, it just
never ending.
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00:02:54,522 --> 00:02:55,392
I was like fuck, is
that thunder?
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00:02:55,436 --> 00:02:56,263
- I don't think that's thunder.
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00:02:56,306 --> 00:02:57,612
- Maybe not, it just won't stop.
89
00:02:57,655 --> 00:02:58,656
[package crinkles]
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00:02:58,700 --> 00:02:59,788
Normally you hear a crack,
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00:02:59,831 --> 00:03:01,355
not those big fuckin'
one minute-ers.
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00:03:01,398 --> 00:03:02,878
[package crinkles]
- Big long one
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00:03:02,921 --> 00:03:04,923
and then there was some high
pitched stuff that sounded,
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00:03:04,967 --> 00:03:05,968
didn't even sound like thunder.
95
00:03:06,011 --> 00:03:06,664
It sounded like,
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00:03:06,708 --> 00:03:07,926
[foil crinkling]
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00:03:07,970 --> 00:03:10,320
like a giant bird squawkin'
or somethin'.
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00:03:10,364 --> 00:03:11,191
- Yup.
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00:03:11,234 --> 00:03:12,061
- Okay.
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00:03:12,104 --> 00:03:13,671
[foil crinkling]
101
00:03:13,715 --> 00:03:14,759
- Alright these are lookin',
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00:03:14,803 --> 00:03:16,108
these are lookin' a
lot better man.
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With these little diced
up pepperonis.
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00:03:18,110 --> 00:03:19,199
- Oh yeah.
- Oh these are,
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00:03:19,242 --> 00:03:21,940
these are to suck one for,
Dormeatchos.
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00:03:22,506 --> 00:03:24,073
- [Julian] Nice.
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00:03:24,116 --> 00:03:25,857
- [Ricky] I may have made a
little too much pepperoni, but.
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00:03:25,901 --> 00:03:26,858
- Yup.
- Do you think it's better
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00:03:26,902 --> 00:03:27,946
to cut these first,
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00:03:27,990 --> 00:03:30,210
or peel the plastic
off 'em first?
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00:03:30,253 --> 00:03:30,862
- Peel the plastic off first,
Ricky.
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00:03:30,906 --> 00:03:32,124
- Peel the plastic, man.
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00:03:32,168 --> 00:03:35,606
- Then you gotta do fuckin'
sixteen peels.
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00:03:35,650 --> 00:03:37,434
Where's right now you
can just do one.
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00:03:37,478 --> 00:03:40,002
[plastic crinkling]
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00:03:40,045 --> 00:03:42,874
- Lightning, and the thunder.
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00:03:42,918 --> 00:03:45,486
- Lightning and the thunder.
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00:03:45,529 --> 00:03:47,792
- Thunder, thunder.
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00:03:47,836 --> 00:03:49,316
[plastic crinkling]
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00:03:49,359 --> 00:03:50,491
- What song are you singin'?
121
00:03:50,534 --> 00:03:52,797
- The Soup Dragons, or
whatever they are.
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00:03:52,841 --> 00:03:55,670
[Bubbles chewing]
123
00:03:55,713 --> 00:03:58,586
- Alright, boys, check this
poor little fucker out, man.
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00:03:58,629 --> 00:04:00,544
12 year old boy,
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00:04:00,588 --> 00:04:02,981
goes viral for doin' his
homework under a streetlight
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00:04:03,025 --> 00:04:05,984
because family can't
afford electricity.
127
00:04:06,028 --> 00:04:07,551
How fuckin' depressin's that?
128
00:04:07,595 --> 00:04:08,900
- Jesus Murphy that's...
129
00:04:08,944 --> 00:04:09,727
- [Ricky] If it's true,
it's very depressing.
130
00:04:09,771 --> 00:04:10,859
- Look at this poor fucker.
131
00:04:12,295 --> 00:04:13,731
Now you'd never see Ricky
doin' somethin' like this.
132
00:04:13,775 --> 00:04:15,255
- [Bubbles] Lemme see him.
133
00:04:15,298 --> 00:04:17,082
- [Ricky] I've done fuckin'
homework under a street light
134
00:04:17,126 --> 00:04:18,432
when the power was shut off.
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00:04:19,346 --> 00:04:20,869
- That, no you didn't, man.
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00:04:20,912 --> 00:04:23,567
Well, yeah when your
power was shut off.
137
00:04:23,611 --> 00:04:24,786
- That fuckin' sucks, man.
138
00:04:24,829 --> 00:04:25,613
- It's fucked.
- See we're
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00:04:25,656 --> 00:04:27,092
pretty lucky boys.
140
00:04:27,136 --> 00:04:29,399
- Ah, you son of a bastard.
141
00:04:29,443 --> 00:04:30,270
Fuck you knife!
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00:04:30,313 --> 00:04:32,968
- See this, this guy right here.
143
00:04:33,011 --> 00:04:34,186
He wants to go to school so bad.
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00:04:34,230 --> 00:04:35,536
- Yeah.
145
00:04:35,579 --> 00:04:37,494
- He's doin' his homework
under the streetlights.
146
00:04:37,538 --> 00:04:38,713
- Just like me.
147
00:04:38,756 --> 00:04:40,149
- You should fuckin'
think about that, man.
148
00:04:40,192 --> 00:04:41,933
- Ricky, you couldn't pay you
149
00:04:41,977 --> 00:04:44,719
to do fuckin' homework
under a streetlight.
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00:04:44,762 --> 00:04:45,850
- Or do homework.
151
00:04:45,894 --> 00:04:47,417
- Correction, if you
were to pay me,
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00:04:47,461 --> 00:04:48,897
I would gladly try to do it.
153
00:04:50,159 --> 00:04:51,073
- Well...
- See but this guy,
154
00:04:51,116 --> 00:04:52,727
he would love just to fuckin'-
155
00:04:52,770 --> 00:04:55,207
- I think that guy's great,
I'm a big fan of him.
156
00:04:55,251 --> 00:04:56,687
[chips crunching]
157
00:04:56,731 --> 00:04:57,732
- Well...
- He'd do anything
158
00:04:57,775 --> 00:04:59,211
to have a fuckin'
trailer like this,
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00:04:59,255 --> 00:05:01,562
with the power turned on.
- Yeah, fuckin' raised makin'
160
00:05:02,563 --> 00:05:03,738
these fuckin' things.
161
00:05:05,217 --> 00:05:06,523
- [Ricky] It's kinda fucked up.
162
00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:09,700
I shouldn't of stuck those
fuckin' things together.
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00:05:09,744 --> 00:05:12,877
Alright, so that was
a happy story I guess.
164
00:05:12,921 --> 00:05:14,096
- I'm tryin' to, yeah,
I've been tryin' to
165
00:05:14,139 --> 00:05:15,271
get some feel good stories here,
166
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:16,533
but there's nothin', man.
167
00:05:16,577 --> 00:05:19,101
- How in the fuck is
that a feel good story?
168
00:05:19,144 --> 00:05:20,189
- Aw this ones even worse, man.
169
00:05:20,232 --> 00:05:22,409
This fuckin', this chick...
170
00:05:22,452 --> 00:05:25,281
Aw man, this is fuckin' gross!
171
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:29,590
They find four living
bees in this woman's eye.
172
00:05:29,633 --> 00:05:31,983
Feeding off her tears.
173
00:05:32,027 --> 00:05:34,072
Like how the fuck, what is
wrong with you?
174
00:05:34,116 --> 00:05:36,074
- [Ricky] What're you talkin'
about, man?
175
00:05:36,118 --> 00:05:37,380
- Try flippin' your lid down
176
00:05:37,424 --> 00:05:39,861
and checkin' out what's
irritating ya.
177
00:05:39,904 --> 00:05:41,253
Ya know what I mean?
- [Bubbles] Bees!
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00:05:41,297 --> 00:05:42,603
- Bees! Four of 'em.
179
00:05:42,646 --> 00:05:43,560
- Like honey bees?
180
00:05:43,604 --> 00:05:44,213
- Like fuckin' bees!
181
00:05:44,256 --> 00:05:45,345
- Bumblebees?
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00:05:45,388 --> 00:05:47,477
- Look at these fuckin' things,
look.
183
00:05:47,521 --> 00:05:48,348
For real are you kidding me?
184
00:05:48,391 --> 00:05:49,784
- That can't be real!
185
00:05:49,827 --> 00:05:50,132
- You are dumb!
186
00:05:51,568 --> 00:05:54,005
- If you don't know you got
bees livin' in your eye,
187
00:05:54,049 --> 00:05:55,224
- Oh yeah she was twenty-
188
00:05:55,267 --> 00:05:56,660
- somethin's wrong with
your fuckin' brain!
189
00:05:56,704 --> 00:05:58,183
- She's twenty somethin'.
190
00:05:58,227 --> 00:06:01,099
Goin' to university with
bees in her fuckin' eyes.
191
00:06:01,143 --> 00:06:03,450
- That, what website
are you findin' this on?
192
00:06:03,493 --> 00:06:04,886
That sounds like the Onion.
193
00:06:06,409 --> 00:06:09,412
- I'll tell ya, I can still
get a ten outta ten boys.
194
00:06:09,456 --> 00:06:12,676
[Mr. Lahey singing gibberish]
[bowling ball rolls]
195
00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:14,417
[bowling pins falling]
196
00:06:14,461 --> 00:06:15,723
Mark me up, got a seven.
197
00:06:15,766 --> 00:06:16,811
Gotta take my pants off.
198
00:06:16,854 --> 00:06:18,856
- [Doug] No, no, no,
put them back on!
199
00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:21,685
[laughter]
200
00:06:21,729 --> 00:06:22,991
[bowling ball striking pins]
201
00:06:23,034 --> 00:06:23,818
[bowling pins falling]
202
00:06:23,861 --> 00:06:25,602
- Oh! Not bad!
203
00:06:25,646 --> 00:06:26,864
[bowling ball striking pins]
204
00:06:26,908 --> 00:06:28,257
[pins falling]
205
00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:29,432
[cheering]
- Whoa!
206
00:06:29,476 --> 00:06:30,912
- [Lenny] Yeah! Yeah!
207
00:06:30,955 --> 00:06:32,392
- I can do this.
208
00:06:32,435 --> 00:06:35,830
[Mr. Lahey singing a
gibberish tune]
209
00:06:35,873 --> 00:06:38,006
[bowling ball rolling]
210
00:06:38,049 --> 00:06:39,399
[bowling ball striking pins]
211
00:06:39,442 --> 00:06:41,575
[bowling pins falling]
[Mr. Lahey singing gibberish]
212
00:06:41,618 --> 00:06:43,054
- [Lenny] You don't wanna
get beaten by a drunk, guys,
213
00:06:43,098 --> 00:06:43,577
come on.
214
00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:44,621
- Watch this.
215
00:06:44,665 --> 00:06:46,144
- [Lenny] C'mon, Doug,
pick it up!
216
00:06:46,188 --> 00:06:47,929
- [Mr. Lahey] We're lettin'
the liquor do the bowlin'.
217
00:06:47,972 --> 00:06:48,799
- [Doug] Man.
[Mr. Lahey laughs]
218
00:06:48,843 --> 00:06:50,279
- Now, what do ya want now?
219
00:06:50,322 --> 00:06:52,281
- You're gettin' a
little [gibberish].
220
00:06:52,324 --> 00:06:54,544
Well, what's the score
boys, what's the score?
221
00:06:54,588 --> 00:06:57,417
- The score you gotta
beat loser is 107.
222
00:06:57,460 --> 00:06:58,200
[bowling pins crashing]
223
00:06:58,243 --> 00:06:59,462
- A hundred and seven?
224
00:06:59,506 --> 00:07:01,203
- Right.
- And how much have I got?
225
00:07:01,246 --> 00:07:02,422
- You're eighty-eight,
you're eighty-eight.
226
00:07:02,465 --> 00:07:03,684
- You gotta two marks goin' out,
buddy.
227
00:07:03,727 --> 00:07:04,380
- I gotta get two marks?
228
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:05,729
- Two marks goin' out.
229
00:07:05,773 --> 00:07:06,556
- Well guess what?
- And you never got two marks
230
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:07,383
in a row in your life.
231
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:08,166
- What I'm gonna do boys!
232
00:07:08,210 --> 00:07:09,254
- Oh, now what's in there?
233
00:07:09,298 --> 00:07:10,647
- I'm gonna pick up my
secret weapon.
234
00:07:10,691 --> 00:07:12,214
- [Carl] Oh yeah, sure
- What do you got in there?
235
00:07:12,257 --> 00:07:13,128
- [Lenny] What the hell
236
00:07:13,171 --> 00:07:14,216
is that?
- This is 140 proof,
237
00:07:14,259 --> 00:07:15,391
this is the-
- 140! Who hoo!
238
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:17,437
- That got you banned last time,
remember?
239
00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:20,396
[Mr. Lahey growling gibberish]
240
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,660
- Today I have the [gibberish]
of the rightness-esh
241
00:07:23,704 --> 00:07:24,705
in my soul.
242
00:07:24,748 --> 00:07:26,576
[techno music]
243
00:07:26,620 --> 00:07:28,317
Alright, pass it around boys.
244
00:07:29,623 --> 00:07:31,059
Through the back door.
245
00:07:31,102 --> 00:07:33,191
Turbo shit-bags comin' up!
246
00:07:33,235 --> 00:07:34,845
Watch this little shit.
247
00:07:34,889 --> 00:07:36,673
[Mr. Lahey makes
swooshing noise]
248
00:07:36,717 --> 00:07:38,370
[bowling pins crashing]
249
00:07:38,414 --> 00:07:39,633
[cheering]
250
00:07:39,676 --> 00:07:41,678
- [Doug] Oh, Lahey, Lahey!
251
00:07:41,722 --> 00:07:43,637
- Holy Jesus Christ!
- Lahey!
252
00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:44,812
- Lahey!
253
00:07:44,855 --> 00:07:47,249
- If he makes one more mark,
he beats us!
254
00:07:47,292 --> 00:07:48,119
- No way!
- Strike?
255
00:07:48,163 --> 00:07:49,686
- A strike and you win!
256
00:07:49,730 --> 00:07:50,513
- No problem!
257
00:07:50,557 --> 00:07:53,037
[mumbles incoherently]
258
00:07:53,081 --> 00:07:53,864
Okay, hold that for me.
259
00:07:53,908 --> 00:07:54,648
[bottle clinking]
260
00:07:54,691 --> 00:07:57,694
[techno music continues]
261
00:07:57,738 --> 00:07:58,608
Here we go.
262
00:08:00,131 --> 00:08:03,308
[techno music intensifies]
263
00:08:03,352 --> 00:08:05,441
[bowling ball growling]
264
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,748
- [Carl] How can a drunk like
that, throw a ball like that?
265
00:08:07,791 --> 00:08:09,401
[bowling pins crashing]
266
00:08:09,445 --> 00:08:10,359
- [Lenny] Oh my gosh!
267
00:08:10,402 --> 00:08:11,752
- Ta-da!
268
00:08:11,795 --> 00:08:13,101
[cheering]
269
00:08:13,144 --> 00:08:14,189
- Oh my gosh!
270
00:08:14,232 --> 00:08:15,233
[Mr. Lahey yelling excitedly]
271
00:08:15,277 --> 00:08:16,974
- You did it, dammit!
272
00:08:18,236 --> 00:08:19,934
- It's like the liquor
made him better!
273
00:08:19,977 --> 00:08:21,501
- What the hell was that?
274
00:08:21,544 --> 00:08:23,633
- I got, I got a
little drinky poo!
275
00:08:23,677 --> 00:08:25,417
Oh not only do I get
a drinky poo,
276
00:08:25,461 --> 00:08:26,680
I get this fuckin' thing!
277
00:08:28,159 --> 00:08:30,901
I waited twenty years
for this boys.
278
00:08:30,945 --> 00:08:32,076
Twenty years.
279
00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:33,513
I came,
280
00:08:33,556 --> 00:08:35,036
I saw,
281
00:08:35,079 --> 00:08:36,777
I conquered.
- Oh yeah, yeah, yeah!
282
00:08:36,820 --> 00:08:37,821
- Veni, vidi, vici.
283
00:08:37,865 --> 00:08:38,779
[upbeat music]
284
00:08:38,822 --> 00:08:39,910
[kisses trophy]
285
00:08:39,954 --> 00:08:41,216
Ecce homo.
286
00:08:41,259 --> 00:08:43,131
[bowling pins crash]
287
00:08:43,174 --> 00:08:46,395
Let's see what we got for
the lucky ducky.
288
00:08:46,438 --> 00:08:48,310
Lucky, lucky.
289
00:08:48,353 --> 00:08:50,355
You know what the
lucky ducky says.
290
00:08:50,399 --> 00:08:51,269
[imitates explosion noise]
291
00:08:51,313 --> 00:08:52,532
Nice one.
292
00:08:52,575 --> 00:08:55,273
[singing gibberish]
293
00:08:55,317 --> 00:08:58,059
I'm a winner every
time I [mumbles].
294
00:08:58,102 --> 00:09:01,192
Say goodby to all your little
shitty fuckin' ducky friends.
295
00:09:03,238 --> 00:09:04,544
[squeaking noise]
296
00:09:04,587 --> 00:09:05,806
Oh listen.
297
00:09:05,849 --> 00:09:08,591
[squeaking noise]
298
00:09:08,635 --> 00:09:10,985
That's right, never
cry shit-duck.
299
00:09:11,028 --> 00:09:14,031
[glass breaking]
300
00:09:14,075 --> 00:09:17,252
That's my favorite
magical bowling ball.
301
00:09:17,295 --> 00:09:20,342
I don't, what am I,
little ducky.
302
00:09:20,385 --> 00:09:23,563
[Mr. Lahey speaking
gibberish in a duck voice]
303
00:09:23,606 --> 00:09:25,434
[bright music]
We'll see you next time
304
00:09:25,477 --> 00:09:27,697
for another exciting episode
305
00:09:27,741 --> 00:09:31,135
of Jim Lahey and the
Liquor Stories.
306
00:09:31,179 --> 00:09:33,703
[Mr. Lahey speaking
gibberish in a duck voice]
307
00:09:33,747 --> 00:09:35,313
Fuck off.
308
00:09:35,357 --> 00:09:37,968
[bowling balls crashing]
309
00:09:38,012 --> 00:09:40,754
[slurping sounds]
310
00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:44,584
Can't waste good liquor.
311
00:09:46,716 --> 00:09:47,978
- [Bubbles] I came
down to the jail
312
00:09:48,022 --> 00:09:50,851
as fast as I could once
Ricky called me, I mean,
313
00:09:50,894 --> 00:09:52,548
I can't imagine what he's goin'
through.
314
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,245
This is a day that I
315
00:09:54,289 --> 00:09:56,117
always thought, ya know,
could come someday,
316
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:57,640
but I just hoped it wouldn't.
317
00:09:57,684 --> 00:10:00,643
But it looks like it's here,
so all I can do is just go in
318
00:10:00,687 --> 00:10:03,690
and be as supportive as I can
and I just gotta be braced
319
00:10:03,733 --> 00:10:04,995
for when he tells me...
320
00:10:05,039 --> 00:10:06,083
- [Loudspeaker] Bubbles
proceed to visitation.
321
00:10:06,127 --> 00:10:08,303
- Okay I'm goin' in, goin' in.
322
00:10:08,346 --> 00:10:10,697
[Bubbles sighs nervously]
323
00:10:10,740 --> 00:10:13,221
[Bubbles sighs heavily]
324
00:10:13,264 --> 00:10:17,573
[sound of door
opening and closing]
325
00:10:20,837 --> 00:10:21,925
- Hey Ricky.
326
00:10:21,969 --> 00:10:23,231
- Hey Bubs, thanks for coming,
man.
327
00:10:23,274 --> 00:10:24,362
- Hey Julian.
- Hey Bubs.
328
00:10:24,406 --> 00:10:26,800
- Thanks for being here, Julian.
329
00:10:26,843 --> 00:10:29,498
Boys, I got some
330
00:10:29,541 --> 00:10:32,936
really, really bad news today
at the fuckin' infirmary.
331
00:10:32,980 --> 00:10:35,330
- I know Ricky, I know, just,
332
00:10:35,373 --> 00:10:36,461
I been tryin' to get
ready for it
333
00:10:36,505 --> 00:10:37,811
so I think the best thing to do
334
00:10:37,854 --> 00:10:40,465
is just fuckin' hit me with it.
335
00:10:41,379 --> 00:10:42,467
[Ricky sighs heavily]
336
00:10:42,511 --> 00:10:46,080
- I'm fuckin', I'm shrinkin'
to death.
337
00:10:46,123 --> 00:10:46,907
- [Bubbles] Ricky!
338
00:10:46,950 --> 00:10:48,082
- You're shrinking to death?
339
00:10:48,125 --> 00:10:49,344
What the fuck does that
even mean, man?
340
00:10:49,387 --> 00:10:50,432
- What are ya talking about?
341
00:10:50,475 --> 00:10:51,868
- It should happen in
less than a year.
342
00:10:51,912 --> 00:10:53,087
- Jesus Ricky!
343
00:10:53,130 --> 00:10:55,524
- I thought you were fuckin'
gonna tell me
344
00:10:55,567 --> 00:10:58,570
you fuckin' had cancer or
somethin' Ricky.
345
00:10:58,614 --> 00:11:00,268
- No man, it's just
as bad though.
346
00:11:00,311 --> 00:11:01,748
I'm gonna fuckin'
shrink to death.
347
00:11:01,791 --> 00:11:03,793
- [Bubbles] What do ya mean
you're shrinkin' to death?
348
00:11:03,837 --> 00:11:05,708
- I did the math and
349
00:11:05,752 --> 00:11:07,405
within five years I'll
probably be the size
350
00:11:07,449 --> 00:11:09,059
of a fuckin' squirrel.
351
00:11:09,103 --> 00:11:09,930
Maybe a rabbit.
352
00:11:12,323 --> 00:11:13,890
- This is the news?
353
00:11:13,934 --> 00:11:15,805
- Yeah and if it keeps going,
I mean,
354
00:11:15,849 --> 00:11:18,155
eventually I'm might be
fuckin' as small as an ant.
355
00:11:18,199 --> 00:11:19,287
- Ricky!
356
00:11:19,330 --> 00:11:20,288
- Maybe a bigger bug
like a dragonfly,
357
00:11:20,331 --> 00:11:21,637
but if I'm that small,
358
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,639
I wouldn't even be able to
smoke dope anymore, like,
359
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,206
what's the fuckin' point?
- First of all,
360
00:11:25,249 --> 00:11:26,598
you would be able to smoke dope,
361
00:11:26,642 --> 00:11:28,339
but I don't think
you're gonna shrink
362
00:11:28,383 --> 00:11:29,863
to the size of a fuckin' ant.
363
00:11:29,906 --> 00:11:32,474
- Just promise me if I ever
become the size of an ant,
364
00:11:32,517 --> 00:11:34,606
and I'm still alive, you'll
build me like a nice little ant
365
00:11:34,650 --> 00:11:37,218
things outta match sticks or
somethin' and you'll feed me
366
00:11:37,261 --> 00:11:38,785
and if you could just smoke
a joint once in a while
367
00:11:38,828 --> 00:11:41,352
and blow into my
little ant face.
368
00:11:41,396 --> 00:11:43,311
- Ricky.
- Ricky.
369
00:11:43,354 --> 00:11:44,268
- This is fucked.
370
00:11:44,312 --> 00:11:45,748
- Julian did you
know about this?
371
00:11:45,792 --> 00:11:47,924
- I, Bubs do you think
I'd be here if,
372
00:11:47,968 --> 00:11:50,927
if he fuckin' told me he
was shrinkin' to death?
373
00:11:50,971 --> 00:11:52,668
Are you fuckin' kiddin' me?
374
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:56,280
- What, okay Ricky, just back
the fuck up here, lets...
375
00:11:56,324 --> 00:11:58,761
Why do you think you're
shrinkin' in the first place?
376
00:11:58,805 --> 00:12:00,371
- I'm an inch and a
half shorter than I was
377
00:12:00,415 --> 00:12:02,591
the last time I went there
and they measured me.
378
00:12:02,634 --> 00:12:05,768
- So that's all it is, is
just that you got measured.
379
00:12:05,812 --> 00:12:08,771
- And I, from what I've read
there's no way to stop it.
380
00:12:08,815 --> 00:12:11,469
- But Ricky, maybe they
just wrote it down wrong.
381
00:12:11,513 --> 00:12:14,472
The first time, or they fucked
up with the measuring tape.
382
00:12:14,516 --> 00:12:16,474
Like, you have no proof that
you're shrinkin', do ya?
383
00:12:16,518 --> 00:12:18,389
- They don't give a fuck
about how tall you are, man!
384
00:12:18,433 --> 00:12:20,740
- Man if I do, what, okay,
riddle me this.
385
00:12:20,783 --> 00:12:22,611
If I did become the size
of a little ant,
386
00:12:22,654 --> 00:12:25,788
would my brain still have
the same smart?
387
00:12:27,572 --> 00:12:29,400
- Well...
[Bubbles sighs heavily]
388
00:12:29,444 --> 00:12:31,446
Ricky, you don't gotta
worry about it.
389
00:12:31,489 --> 00:12:35,493
Yes you would probably
retain your same smart.
390
00:12:35,537 --> 00:12:36,712
- You'd probably be smarter.
391
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:39,584
- So what then, so, I mean...
392
00:12:39,628 --> 00:12:40,890
- So you're biggest worry
393
00:12:40,934 --> 00:12:42,500
is that you're gonna be
the size of an ant
394
00:12:42,544 --> 00:12:43,980
and you won't be able to
smoke a joint.
395
00:12:44,024 --> 00:12:45,460
- But if I was an ant
and I smoked it,
396
00:12:45,503 --> 00:12:46,766
I, I wouldn't need as
much probably,
397
00:12:46,809 --> 00:12:48,332
but my brain would be like,
398
00:12:48,376 --> 00:12:49,899
this is fucked
'cause you're not,
399
00:12:49,943 --> 00:12:52,075
you can smoke a lot more than
this even though you can't,
400
00:12:52,119 --> 00:12:54,251
and then what happens
with my brain?
401
00:12:54,295 --> 00:12:55,949
- Ricky, if you became an ant
402
00:12:55,992 --> 00:12:58,342
and you retained all
your fuckin' knowledge,
403
00:12:58,386 --> 00:12:59,953
you would be able to get high,
404
00:12:59,996 --> 00:13:01,955
'cause I would blow smoke at ya.
405
00:13:01,998 --> 00:13:04,609
Or I'd make ya a little joint
the size of a piece of rice
406
00:13:04,653 --> 00:13:05,654
and light it for ya and
407
00:13:05,697 --> 00:13:06,611
you could just suck on it.
- Bubs.
408
00:13:06,655 --> 00:13:08,309
- Bubs!
- Thanks Bubs.
409
00:13:08,352 --> 00:13:09,353
I love you buddy.
410
00:13:10,354 --> 00:13:11,312
You make me very-
- This is really
411
00:13:11,355 --> 00:13:13,009
why you got me down here,
all the
412
00:13:13,053 --> 00:13:14,619
fuckin' drivin' down
here panickin',
413
00:13:14,663 --> 00:13:18,014
almost fuckin' shit
myself in the taxi.
414
00:13:18,058 --> 00:13:19,973
Hyperventilatin', fuckin'
thought you were dyin'
415
00:13:20,016 --> 00:13:21,496
and now ya tell me
you're worried
416
00:13:21,539 --> 00:13:24,281
you're gonna turn into a fuckin'
squirrel and then an ant!
417
00:13:25,456 --> 00:13:27,197
- How would you feel?
418
00:13:27,241 --> 00:13:28,590
- Ricky you coulda just
told me on the phone
419
00:13:28,633 --> 00:13:30,200
and I coulda
straightened it out for ya
420
00:13:30,244 --> 00:13:32,289
and not came all this way.
421
00:13:32,333 --> 00:13:33,421
- I thought you might
have some advice,
422
00:13:33,464 --> 00:13:34,552
like I was thinkin'
maybe you could
423
00:13:34,596 --> 00:13:36,467
bring me down some like
weed fertilizers
424
00:13:36,511 --> 00:13:39,427
and see if I could get
growed up a bit more again.
425
00:13:39,470 --> 00:13:40,645
- You're not eatin', drinkin'
...
426
00:13:40,689 --> 00:13:42,865
- People don't shrink
to death Ricky!
427
00:13:42,909 --> 00:13:43,735
- I am!
428
00:13:43,779 --> 00:13:46,173
- Dude, nobody is!
429
00:13:46,216 --> 00:13:50,699
- Ricky say maybe somehow
ya shrank a tiny bit,
430
00:13:50,742 --> 00:13:53,354
just maybe from fuckin'
dehydration or somethin',
431
00:13:53,397 --> 00:13:55,399
I don't know, maybe you shrank.
432
00:13:55,443 --> 00:13:56,139
[knocking]
433
00:13:56,183 --> 00:13:57,227
- [Guard] Wrap it up!
434
00:13:57,271 --> 00:13:59,708
- Even if ya did, you're
not gonna shrink
435
00:13:59,751 --> 00:14:01,362
to the size of a fuckin'
squirrel.
436
00:14:01,405 --> 00:14:03,059
Nobody's ever done that
in the history of man.
437
00:14:03,103 --> 00:14:04,756
- You can't go from bein'
a human
438
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:06,671
to a fuckin' squirrel Ricky,
and then
439
00:14:06,715 --> 00:14:08,108
from a squirrel to a fuckin'
ant.
440
00:14:08,151 --> 00:14:10,110
It's impossible.
- No, I, its just that size.
441
00:14:10,153 --> 00:14:11,763
I'd still look like this,
but just
442
00:14:11,807 --> 00:14:14,070
like this big.
- Oh, Ricky, man.
443
00:14:14,114 --> 00:14:16,551
- Little, tiny ant Ricky.
444
00:14:16,594 --> 00:14:17,639
Oh my Jesus.
- Thanks for comin' Bubs
445
00:14:17,682 --> 00:14:19,249
and thanks for if it
does happen,
446
00:14:19,293 --> 00:14:20,555
you're gonna look
after me buddy.
447
00:14:20,598 --> 00:14:22,122
Now I can sleep tonight.
- If , I promise ya if ya
448
00:14:22,165 --> 00:14:25,342
turn into a fuckin' ant I will
have you the nicest ant home
449
00:14:25,386 --> 00:14:26,604
you've ever seen.
450
00:14:26,648 --> 00:14:27,867
- Bubs.
- Thanks buddy.
451
00:14:27,910 --> 00:14:28,955
[pounds fist on glass]
452
00:14:28,998 --> 00:14:30,652
- You'll have an ant mansion,
Ricky.
453
00:14:31,522 --> 00:14:33,350
[whispers] Jesus Murphy.
454
00:14:33,394 --> 00:14:35,135
- Alright, we'll see ya
soon man thanks.
455
00:14:35,178 --> 00:14:36,571
- [Bubbles] Okay.
It does make me feel better.
456
00:14:36,614 --> 00:14:37,441
- See ya Bubs.
457
00:14:37,485 --> 00:14:39,313
- Okay, see yas.
458
00:14:39,356 --> 00:14:42,142
[knocking sounds]
459
00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:46,624
- I can't believe I'm
fuckin' shrinkin' to death.
460
00:14:46,668 --> 00:14:47,887
- [Julian] You're not
fuckin' shrinkin' to death.
461
00:14:47,930 --> 00:14:50,193
- [Ricky] I'm fucked!
462
00:14:50,237 --> 00:14:52,761
[door closes]
463
00:14:54,371 --> 00:14:55,895
- This is what I deal with.
464
00:14:56,721 --> 00:14:58,114
[Ricky sighs]
465
00:14:58,158 --> 00:14:59,986
- Alright, welcome back to
Gettin' Learnt with Ricky.
466
00:15:00,029 --> 00:15:01,857
Brand new year for most
of you people.
467
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,424
I don't start my new year
til the fuckin'
468
00:15:03,467 --> 00:15:05,034
snow is gone at least because
469
00:15:05,078 --> 00:15:06,993
nothin's changed, it's
not a fuckin' new year,
470
00:15:07,036 --> 00:15:08,472
still fuckin' winter.
471
00:15:08,516 --> 00:15:10,779
Anyway, hopefully it won't
be a long winter this year,
472
00:15:10,822 --> 00:15:12,999
and having my new
year in March or
473
00:15:13,042 --> 00:15:14,087
maybe 4/20.
474
00:15:14,130 --> 00:15:16,089
It's a good time to
start a new year.
475
00:15:16,132 --> 00:15:17,612
But anyway, this time
of year is fuckin' cold
476
00:15:17,655 --> 00:15:18,787
for most of us in Canada.
477
00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:20,310
All you people livin' down in
478
00:15:20,354 --> 00:15:23,096
the sunny fuckin' United
States or US and A
479
00:15:23,139 --> 00:15:24,271
or whatever the fuck
you're called.
480
00:15:24,314 --> 00:15:26,012
Good for you guys, it's
cold up here.
481
00:15:26,055 --> 00:15:27,752
It's a fuckin' shitty
time of year.
482
00:15:27,796 --> 00:15:30,059
So this time of year,
we got no money,
483
00:15:30,103 --> 00:15:31,278
we need to get extra high.
484
00:15:31,321 --> 00:15:32,148
And how do you do that?
485
00:15:32,192 --> 00:15:33,454
Fuckin' bongs.
486
00:15:33,497 --> 00:15:36,283
So today's episode, we're
gonna talk about
487
00:15:36,326 --> 00:15:37,893
bongs
[marker squeaks]
488
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,416
and how to make the
fuckin' things, because
489
00:15:39,460 --> 00:15:40,896
why would you buy one right now?
490
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,811
You don't have a lot of money,
but you need to get high.
491
00:15:42,854 --> 00:15:45,074
You can make a fuckin' bong
outta pretty much anything.
492
00:15:45,118 --> 00:15:47,424
Now bongs are pretty much,
it is science,
493
00:15:47,468 --> 00:15:49,557
and there's a pretty much a
simple fuckin' science to it.
494
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:51,124
[container rattles]
495
00:15:51,167 --> 00:15:52,995
Normally I'll make them
out of like a fuckin'
496
00:15:53,039 --> 00:15:54,954
masonry jar or ya know
somethin' like that,
497
00:15:54,997 --> 00:15:57,826
or maybe a can or some
kind of a fuckin'
498
00:15:57,869 --> 00:16:00,046
like a bottle thingy
like this that has a top.
499
00:16:01,003 --> 00:16:02,004
[marker tapping]
500
00:16:02,048 --> 00:16:02,657
Top
501
00:16:02,700 --> 00:16:03,963
[marking squeaking]
502
00:16:04,006 --> 00:16:05,181
And what you want to do
here is, you're gonna
503
00:16:05,225 --> 00:16:07,009
put a hole in the fuckin'
side of it.
504
00:16:08,141 --> 00:16:09,142
This is gonna be your
little thing
505
00:16:09,185 --> 00:16:10,752
that comes down into the water.
506
00:16:11,622 --> 00:16:13,102
That's you're little,
507
00:16:13,146 --> 00:16:15,496
that's where you wanna put
your dope and shit right here.
508
00:16:15,539 --> 00:16:17,628
Then you need another little
fuckin' opening or a straw.
509
00:16:17,672 --> 00:16:20,414
I like to use a straw that
doesn't go into the water.
510
00:16:20,457 --> 00:16:22,198
That's where, that's
your sucker point.
511
00:16:22,242 --> 00:16:23,547
[marker tapping]
512
00:16:23,591 --> 00:16:24,505
Suck.
513
00:16:25,462 --> 00:16:26,594
So then what you wanna do,
514
00:16:26,637 --> 00:16:27,856
put a bit of water in it,
515
00:16:30,293 --> 00:16:31,599
this part has to be
under the water,
516
00:16:31,642 --> 00:16:33,079
this is where your fuckin'
shit's gonna come in,
517
00:16:33,122 --> 00:16:35,168
and all your smokes gonna
come in through here.
518
00:16:35,211 --> 00:16:36,256
And then when you're
sucking on it,
519
00:16:36,299 --> 00:16:37,909
it's gonna come up through here
520
00:16:37,953 --> 00:16:40,173
and right into you're
fuckin' lungs, delicious.
521
00:16:40,216 --> 00:16:41,522
Could be weed, could be hash.
522
00:16:41,565 --> 00:16:43,785
Sometimes a little combos nice.
523
00:16:43,828 --> 00:16:45,047
So we're gonna show you
how to make one of these
524
00:16:45,091 --> 00:16:47,397
fuckin' things out of
pretty much anything.
525
00:16:47,441 --> 00:16:48,050
Now I will say this.
526
00:16:48,094 --> 00:16:49,617
[container rattling]
527
00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:51,662
Bongs are awesome because they
do filter out a bunch of the
528
00:16:51,706 --> 00:16:53,186
shitty shit and make the
smoke healthy for ya.
529
00:16:53,229 --> 00:16:54,448
[container rattling]
530
00:16:54,491 --> 00:16:56,493
But they also filter out
some of the fuckin' THC,
531
00:16:56,537 --> 00:16:58,147
so if you wanna get extra high,
532
00:16:58,191 --> 00:17:00,019
sometimes it's better
to just smoke a joint.
533
00:17:00,062 --> 00:17:01,629
But anyway, that's a
different show.
534
00:17:01,672 --> 00:17:03,674
Let's fuckin' make some bongs!
535
00:17:03,718 --> 00:17:05,459
Alright, as you can see,
you can pretty much make
536
00:17:05,502 --> 00:17:07,113
pipes and bongs outta fuckin'
anything.
537
00:17:07,156 --> 00:17:08,636
So, we're gonna start with
pipes 'cause some of you
538
00:17:08,679 --> 00:17:10,290
are probably too fuckin'
lazy or too dumb
539
00:17:10,333 --> 00:17:12,770
to make a water bong even
though it's easy as fuck.
540
00:17:13,989 --> 00:17:15,034
Or maybe you're just in
a fuckin' rush
541
00:17:15,077 --> 00:17:16,992
to get some smoke in your lungs,
so.
542
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:18,646
Pipes you can make outta
fuckin' anything here.
543
00:17:18,689 --> 00:17:20,082
Here's a simple pipe.
544
00:17:20,126 --> 00:17:22,041
Can, rip off that little
thing that cuts ya,
545
00:17:22,084 --> 00:17:24,260
poke some little holes in here.
546
00:17:24,304 --> 00:17:26,088
Fill that up with some fuckin',
547
00:17:26,132 --> 00:17:28,438
some weed or whatever and...
548
00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:29,265
[lighter flicking]
549
00:17:29,309 --> 00:17:30,223
[inhales deeply]
550
00:17:30,266 --> 00:17:32,138
[Ricky exhales]
551
00:17:32,181 --> 00:17:33,748
Very simple, very fuckin' quick.
552
00:17:33,791 --> 00:17:35,054
But if you wanna get creative,
553
00:17:35,097 --> 00:17:37,317
you can also make fuckin'
bongs outta fruit.
554
00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:39,710
Nice little pineapple
bong with a carrot.
555
00:17:39,754 --> 00:17:42,278
Just hollow out that and
put some tin foil in there,
556
00:17:42,322 --> 00:17:42,931
ya know and..
557
00:17:42,974 --> 00:17:43,975
[Ricky inhales]
558
00:17:44,019 --> 00:17:45,325
[Ricky exhales]
Adds a nice little
559
00:17:45,368 --> 00:17:47,544
flavor to your fuckin'
weed if it's pretty harsh.
560
00:17:47,588 --> 00:17:49,372
Shitty fuckin' mall dope.
561
00:17:49,416 --> 00:17:51,374
There's a watermelon one
with an apple at the top
562
00:17:51,418 --> 00:17:53,681
and a carrot, so that's gonna
have three fuckin' flavors,
563
00:17:53,724 --> 00:17:55,422
like a nice little mixture.
564
00:17:55,465 --> 00:17:56,858
Or maybe you don't have
any fuckin' fruit,
565
00:17:56,901 --> 00:17:58,686
but you got a big bologna log,
566
00:17:58,729 --> 00:18:00,949
got some fuckin' pepperoni so.
567
00:18:00,992 --> 00:18:03,560
Hollow out the bologna
log in the middle there,
568
00:18:03,604 --> 00:18:05,301
put a nice little place
where you can put this little
569
00:18:05,345 --> 00:18:06,911
sucker device.
570
00:18:06,955 --> 00:18:08,522
Take a nice piece of
pepperoni, it's about a
571
00:18:10,001 --> 00:18:13,004
five and a half inch cock
of pepperoni there I guess.
572
00:18:13,048 --> 00:18:14,310
Then you just wanna drill
out the middle of that.
573
00:18:14,354 --> 00:18:17,096
[drill whirring]
574
00:18:19,402 --> 00:18:22,971
[drill whirring]
575
00:18:23,014 --> 00:18:24,755
There ya go, so you can
fuckin' see right through that.
576
00:18:24,799 --> 00:18:25,365
It's perfect.
577
00:18:25,408 --> 00:18:26,714
[Ricky inhales]
578
00:18:26,757 --> 00:18:28,150
You wanna put that fuckin'
thing right in there.
579
00:18:28,194 --> 00:18:29,412
Actually that kinda looks like
580
00:18:30,761 --> 00:18:32,763
somebody, some dude
with a cock or a cigar,
581
00:18:32,807 --> 00:18:34,156
so you can draw a little
face on it if you want.
582
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:35,070
Might be fun.
583
00:18:36,767 --> 00:18:39,030
Just a little guy smoking there.
584
00:18:39,074 --> 00:18:40,249
So then what you want to
do is you wanna to take
585
00:18:40,293 --> 00:18:41,729
some tin foil,
586
00:18:41,772 --> 00:18:45,124
[foil crinkling]
587
00:18:45,167 --> 00:18:46,386
Put that right in the top here,
588
00:18:46,429 --> 00:18:49,389
[foil tapping]
589
00:18:49,432 --> 00:18:50,825
and take a little
fuckin nail or some,
590
00:18:52,305 --> 00:18:53,393
poke some little fuckin'
holes in there with somethin'.
591
00:18:53,436 --> 00:18:54,655
[tapping foil]
592
00:18:54,698 --> 00:18:56,004
You could use your cock
if it's really tiny.
593
00:18:56,047 --> 00:18:58,267
[Ricky chuckling]
594
00:18:58,311 --> 00:19:00,139
And there you go, nice
little fuckin' pipe.
595
00:19:00,182 --> 00:19:01,009
Put your shit in there,
596
00:19:01,052 --> 00:19:01,836
[Ricky inhaling]
597
00:19:01,879 --> 00:19:02,532
[Ricky exhaling]
598
00:19:02,576 --> 00:19:03,925
Beautiful!
599
00:19:03,968 --> 00:19:05,187
Tastes a little like meat,
which is kinda fucked
600
00:19:05,231 --> 00:19:07,494
unless you really like
meat like I do.
601
00:19:07,537 --> 00:19:09,670
I like honey garlic pepperoni,
puts a nice flavor on it.
602
00:19:09,713 --> 00:19:11,324
And the best part is once
you're done all of this,
603
00:19:11,367 --> 00:19:14,065
all the dope kinda gets absorbed
into the fruit or the meat,
604
00:19:14,109 --> 00:19:16,503
you fuckin' eat it and you
get extra high.
605
00:19:16,546 --> 00:19:17,417
[tin foil crinkling]
606
00:19:17,460 --> 00:19:20,333
- Um, if Chris Hadfield married
607
00:19:20,376 --> 00:19:21,812
a lady with the last
name Flowers,
608
00:19:23,205 --> 00:19:26,469
and they just kept their
names and hyphenated them.
609
00:19:26,513 --> 00:19:26,948
- Yeah?
610
00:19:28,210 --> 00:19:31,431
- His last name, er her
last name would be
611
00:19:31,474 --> 00:19:32,258
Julia
612
00:19:33,476 --> 00:19:34,521
Hadfield-Flowers.
613
00:19:34,564 --> 00:19:36,566
[Ricky chuckling]
614
00:19:36,610 --> 00:19:37,437
- What?
615
00:19:38,351 --> 00:19:39,352
[chips crunching]
616
00:19:39,395 --> 00:19:40,309
- What the fuck are you...
617
00:19:40,353 --> 00:19:42,311
- Julia...
- I'm just sayin',
618
00:19:42,355 --> 00:19:43,965
you have to be careful
who you marry 'cause if
619
00:19:44,008 --> 00:19:47,011
they're gonna keep the last
names and hyphenate them.
620
00:19:47,055 --> 00:19:49,144
- Ricky, there's no
weed in these is there?
621
00:19:51,842 --> 00:19:54,758
- Nah, no, not these ones.
622
00:19:54,802 --> 00:19:55,803
Took me a second.
623
00:19:55,846 --> 00:19:57,196
- What do ya mean
not these ones?
624
00:19:57,239 --> 00:19:59,372
Did you put oil on
the other ones?
625
00:19:59,415 --> 00:20:01,504
[Ricky chewing]
626
00:20:01,548 --> 00:20:02,853
'Cause I feel like I'm startin'
to
627
00:20:02,897 --> 00:20:04,725
get baked.
- You know what?
628
00:20:04,768 --> 00:20:06,117
There could be a bit
of weed butter.
629
00:20:06,161 --> 00:20:08,207
I remember melting weed
butter last night.
630
00:20:09,643 --> 00:20:11,471
- I can feel myself
getting baked.
631
00:20:11,514 --> 00:20:12,820
- That's great!
632
00:20:12,863 --> 00:20:13,864
Just let it run with ya.
633
00:20:13,908 --> 00:20:15,083
- Better go with it, man.
634
00:20:15,126 --> 00:20:16,476
[Bubbles sigh heavily]
[chips crunching]
635
00:20:16,519 --> 00:20:17,912
- Ricky.
636
00:20:17,955 --> 00:20:20,828
- Or if you married someone
with the last name Horse.
637
00:20:20,871 --> 00:20:22,612
Julia Hadfield-Horse.
638
00:20:22,656 --> 00:20:25,746
[Bubbles chuckling menacingly]
639
00:20:25,789 --> 00:20:27,443
- See that shouldn't
be funny to me!
640
00:20:27,487 --> 00:20:28,662
- Yeah.
641
00:20:28,705 --> 00:20:30,577
I'm not laughin' at all.
- Why am I laughin'?
642
00:20:30,620 --> 00:20:31,404
- [Ricky] Julia
643
00:20:31,447 --> 00:20:32,666
- [Bubbles] Hadfield-Horse
644
00:20:32,709 --> 00:20:33,928
[Julian chuckling]
645
00:20:33,971 --> 00:20:35,625
Julia Hadfield-Horse.
646
00:20:35,669 --> 00:20:38,106
[Bubbles chuckling]
647
00:20:38,149 --> 00:20:40,456
Oh I guess I might as well
just keep eatin' 'em now.
648
00:20:41,675 --> 00:20:42,502
- Just go with it, man,
who gives a fuck.
649
00:20:42,545 --> 00:20:44,243
- What if her last name was Cox?
650
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:48,812
I guess that's not that great.
651
00:20:48,856 --> 00:20:49,987
Julia Hadfield-Cox.
652
00:20:50,031 --> 00:20:51,511
- Julia Hadfield-Cox
653
00:20:51,554 --> 00:20:52,599
[Ricky chuckling]
654
00:20:52,642 --> 00:20:54,470
[chips crunching]
655
00:20:54,514 --> 00:20:57,952
Like what, what the fuck is
wrong with your brain, man?
656
00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:00,041
Fuck.
657
00:21:00,084 --> 00:21:01,085
- What if he married...
658
00:21:01,129 --> 00:21:03,566
What if her last
name was finger?
659
00:21:03,610 --> 00:21:05,046
Julia Hadfield-Finger.
660
00:21:05,089 --> 00:21:08,310
[Ricky and Bubbles chuckling]
661
00:21:08,354 --> 00:21:09,311
[Bubbles cackles]
662
00:21:09,355 --> 00:21:11,661
- What does that fuckin' mean?
663
00:21:11,705 --> 00:21:12,532
- I get it!
664
00:21:13,446 --> 00:21:15,230
What if he married Julia
665
00:21:16,971 --> 00:21:19,539
I-remember-when-I?
666
00:21:19,582 --> 00:21:21,018
Julia I-remember-when-I.
667
00:21:22,933 --> 00:21:24,457
[Ricky and Julian chuckling]
- What?
668
00:21:24,500 --> 00:21:27,634
- Julia
I-remember-when-I-Hadfield.
669
00:21:27,677 --> 00:21:29,070
[Bubbles laughs]
670
00:21:29,113 --> 00:21:32,160
And then it got turned
into a parkin' lot.
671
00:21:32,203 --> 00:21:33,117
[Ricky, Bubbles and
Julian chuckling]
672
00:21:33,161 --> 00:21:34,118
- Bubs, Man!
673
00:21:34,162 --> 00:21:35,250
Keep eatin' those fuckin'
things.
674
00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:36,512
- Don't eat any more of these.
- Scared?
675
00:21:36,556 --> 00:21:38,079
- No, no, keep, keep going.
- Whoo, hoo, hoo!
676
00:21:38,122 --> 00:21:39,298
- I like this guy.
- I'm tryin to fuckin' make,
677
00:21:39,341 --> 00:21:40,777
don't make my brain explode.
678
00:21:40,821 --> 00:21:42,431
- Ooh baby.
679
00:21:42,475 --> 00:21:45,086
- Americans invaded
Canada twice.
680
00:21:45,129 --> 00:21:46,740
- Yup.
- 1775 and 1812
681
00:21:46,783 --> 00:21:48,219
and they lost both times.
682
00:21:48,263 --> 00:21:49,308
- That's right.
683
00:21:49,351 --> 00:21:50,874
- However, I think if
they did it now,
684
00:21:50,918 --> 00:21:52,049
we would be fucked!
685
00:21:52,093 --> 00:21:54,487
- Oh, we'd be totally fucked,
man.
686
00:21:54,530 --> 00:21:56,663
- The war would last about
twenty minutes.
687
00:21:56,706 --> 00:21:58,708
- It might be a little
hard to defend
688
00:21:58,752 --> 00:22:00,319
at this point.
- Wrap it up, fuck!
689
00:22:01,929 --> 00:22:05,062
Third largest oil reserves after
Saudi Arabia and Venezuela.
690
00:22:06,455 --> 00:22:08,370
- Alright, that's a lot of oil.
691
00:22:08,414 --> 00:22:09,763
- We were the third
country into space
692
00:22:09,806 --> 00:22:12,026
after the US and the USSR.
693
00:22:12,069 --> 00:22:13,462
I didn't even know we
went to space.
694
00:22:13,506 --> 00:22:14,507
- What?
- I thought we just did
695
00:22:14,550 --> 00:22:15,377
with other people.
696
00:22:17,466 --> 00:22:19,642
- Canada Space Agency, CSA.
697
00:22:19,686 --> 00:22:20,904
- This said we're
698
00:22:20,948 --> 00:22:23,559
one of the best ones in
the world in 1962.
699
00:22:23,603 --> 00:22:24,560
- Oh in '62?
700
00:22:26,649 --> 00:22:30,958
- Our money, Mexico's money,
India's, Russia and Israel have
701
00:22:31,001 --> 00:22:34,091
bray-ille like markings
for the blind.
702
00:22:34,135 --> 00:22:35,049
- Braille.
703
00:22:35,092 --> 00:22:36,746
- Braille, little bumpy things.
704
00:22:36,790 --> 00:22:37,573
- The little bumpy things.
705
00:22:37,617 --> 00:22:39,401
- Tomato, tomahto?
706
00:22:39,445 --> 00:22:41,577
- No it's not tomato,
tomahto thing, man.
707
00:22:41,621 --> 00:22:42,796
- It's not a tomato anything.
- That's pretty awesome.
708
00:22:42,839 --> 00:22:45,015
Why doesn't every fuckin'
country have that?
709
00:22:45,929 --> 00:22:47,017
- Well, most do now.
710
00:22:47,061 --> 00:22:48,497
- This is fucked.
711
00:22:48,541 --> 00:22:53,023
Canada has fewer people than
Tokyo's metropolitan area.
712
00:22:53,067 --> 00:22:54,808
And we're the second biggest
country in the world.
713
00:22:54,851 --> 00:22:55,983
That's weird, man.
714
00:22:56,026 --> 00:22:57,245
- Yeah, man.
- That's a busy city.
715
00:22:57,288 --> 00:22:58,725
- Say that again.
716
00:22:58,768 --> 00:23:01,467
- We have less people
than Tokyo's,
717
00:23:01,510 --> 00:23:04,078
Tokyo City's metropolitan area.
718
00:23:04,121 --> 00:23:05,906
Just downtown Tokyo has
more people than Canada,
719
00:23:05,949 --> 00:23:06,950
that's fucked!
- Downtown Tokyo
720
00:23:06,994 --> 00:23:09,083
has more than 30 million people?
721
00:23:09,126 --> 00:23:10,432
- That's insane.
722
00:23:10,476 --> 00:23:12,042
- That's a pretty crowded place,
man.
723
00:23:12,086 --> 00:23:13,653
- Jesus that's crowded
compared to here.
724
00:23:13,696 --> 00:23:14,610
- That would drive me fuckin'
nuts!
725
00:23:14,654 --> 00:23:15,742
- Okay we gotta go I guess.
726
00:23:15,785 --> 00:23:17,787
- I am officially too
baked to be here.
727
00:23:17,831 --> 00:23:19,528
- All right well we're done so
[laptop snaps shut]
728
00:23:19,572 --> 00:23:20,355
- Dormeatchos, try them.
- You don't have to be.
729
00:23:20,399 --> 00:23:22,749
They're fuckin' awesome.
730
00:23:22,792 --> 00:23:24,838
- Give them the recipe quick,
Ricky, for Dormeatchos.
731
00:23:24,881 --> 00:23:28,624
- Just any kinda Doritos,
the spicy ones are good.
732
00:23:28,668 --> 00:23:32,411
Pepperoni, this were hot
and just some kinda cheese.
733
00:23:32,454 --> 00:23:33,412
Good cheese would
probably better,
734
00:23:33,455 --> 00:23:34,717
but all I had was cheese slices.
735
00:23:34,761 --> 00:23:37,154
- Cut up a Solo cup, dump
some hot sauce in 'er.
736
00:23:37,198 --> 00:23:38,765
- Yup, or other dunk sauces.
- And you got yourself
737
00:23:38,808 --> 00:23:39,983
your Dormeatchos.
738
00:23:40,027 --> 00:23:41,898
- Throw on some uh,
weed butter if you want.
739
00:23:41,942 --> 00:23:42,769
[cat meowing]
740
00:23:42,812 --> 00:23:44,379
- Me had butter.
741
00:23:44,423 --> 00:23:45,206
- There ya go.
742
00:23:45,249 --> 00:23:46,163
- Me had Dormeatchos.
743
00:23:46,207 --> 00:23:47,426
[seagulls squawking]
744
00:23:47,469 --> 00:23:49,253
["Trailer Park Boys
Theme" by Blain Morris]
745
00:23:49,297 --> 00:23:50,777
[sound of waves]
746
00:23:50,820 --> 00:23:54,694
[sound of boat engine ticking]
747
00:24:01,657 --> 00:24:02,832
[fish cursing in chorus]
748
00:24:02,876 --> 00:24:07,837
- Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,
Jesus Christ!
749
00:24:09,143 --> 00:24:12,538
[sound of engine roaring]
750
00:24:14,104 --> 00:24:15,192
[sound of lock clicking]
751
00:24:15,236 --> 00:24:19,022
- [Narrator]
[whispering] Fuck off.
54196
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