Original subtitles

- [Ricky] Warning: The following program contains

really coarse language, weed, alcohol consumption,

smoking and sexual infer-fer-lances.

This content may not be suitable for viewers under 18.

To activate parental controls,

please press the big go [beep] yourself button

on your remote control.

["Trailer Park Boys Theme" by Blain Morris]

- Gimme a little snap.

[lid drops]

Little snap of pepperoni. [package crinkles]

[Ricky sighs] - What kind is it, is it hot?

- This is hot.

- Yes.

[pepperoni snaps]

That's the best pepperoni you'll ever eat right there.

Hot Brother's Pepperoni.

[chomps pepperoni]

- Yeah. - Yup.

- I'd rather have the pepperoni deep fried, ya know?

Dip it in honey mustard.

That's the way to do it, man.

[bag crinkles]

- It's alright like that, but this is good,

just like this.

- Oh yeah he's making pepperoni fingers.

- Careful, Ricky.

Your knife is dull as fuck.

- Yup.

- And that's how you cut yourself.

[knife cutting]

[Ricky sighs]

- [Bubbles] People don't know that,

a dull knife is way more dangerous than a sharp knife.

'Cause it'll still slice ya wide open.

- My fingers still fucked,

I wonder if I'm gonna lose that fuckin' nail.

[knife cutting]

- [Julian] You're definitely losing that nail, man.

- What'd you do to your finger?

[knife cutting]

- I fuckin' broke her on the cruise ship, man.

Wasted.

Slammed a door on my fuckin' finger.

Well I didn't, the waves did.

[Bubbles chuckles]

- The waves did?

[bag crinkles] - [Ricky] Yeah.

Door in my room just kept going

[Ricky imitates door slamming]

Then one time, I was walking through

and the cocksucker bit me.

- It closed on ya.

- Doors don't bite, Ricky. - Doors don't bite, Ricky.

[bag crinkles]

- Okay, so what's happening boys?

- I don't know, man. - Still wakin' up here.

- Park After Dark, we're makin' that right now.

[cutting sounds]

- We're makin' Dormeatchos.

Which is Doritos with some meat,

[faint heavy rain sounds]

and cheese, what the fuck is going on outside?

- Just started rainin' horse cocks.

- Rainin', man.

- That sounds like a fuckin',

[cutting sounds]

what do you call those things, a hurricocksucker.

- That is rainin' horse cocks out there.

[cutting sounds]

Jesus Murphy, did you guys hear the thunder

this mornin'? - [Ricky] Thunder!

- [Julian] It was pretty loud, man.

- [Ricky] Hear the thunder!

[Bubble's chuckles]

- I don't even know what song you're singin' Ricky.

[Ricky laughs]

Did you hear the thunder this mornin'?

- It was pretty crazy, man.

- [Ricky] Lightning and the thunder!

- Fuckin' loud, felt like the whole sky was gonna blow up.

- You know what, it was weird 'cause the thunder kept

fuckin' just goin' on and on.

It sounded like a goddamn - Yeah it was a long fuckin'-

- jet plane, it just never ending.

I was like fuck, is that thunder?

- I don't think that's thunder.

- Maybe not, it just won't stop.

[package crinkles]

Normally you hear a crack,

not those big fuckin' one minute-ers.

[package crinkles] - Big long one

and then there was some high pitched stuff that sounded,

didn't even sound like thunder.

It sounded like,

[foil crinkling]

like a giant bird squawkin' or somethin'.

- Yup.

- Okay.

[foil crinkling]

- Alright these are lookin',

these are lookin' a lot better man.

With these little diced up pepperonis.

- Oh yeah. - Oh these are,

these are to suck one for, Dormeatchos.

- [Julian] Nice.

- [Ricky] I may have made a little too much pepperoni, but.

- Yup. - Do you think it's better

to cut these first,

or peel the plastic off 'em first?

- Peel the plastic off first, Ricky.

- Peel the plastic, man.

- Then you gotta do fuckin' sixteen peels.

Where's right now you can just do one.

[plastic crinkling]

- Lightning, and the thunder.

- Lightning and the thunder.

- Thunder, thunder.

[plastic crinkling]

- What song are you singin'?

- The Soup Dragons, or whatever they are.

[Bubbles chewing]

- Alright, boys, check this poor little fucker out, man.

12 year old boy,

goes viral for doin' his homework under a streetlight

because family can't afford electricity.

How fuckin' depressin's that?

- Jesus Murphy that's...

- [Ricky] If it's true, it's very depressing.

- Look at this poor fucker.

Now you'd never see Ricky doin' somethin' like this.

- [Bubbles] Lemme see him.

- [Ricky] I've done fuckin' homework under a street light

when the power was shut off.

- That, no you didn't, man.

Well, yeah when your power was shut off.

- That fuckin' sucks, man.

- It's fucked. - See we're

pretty lucky boys.

- Ah, you son of a bastard.

Fuck you knife!

- See this, this guy right here.

He wants to go to school so bad.

- Yeah.

- He's doin' his homework under the streetlights.

- Just like me.

- You should fuckin' think about that, man.

- Ricky, you couldn't pay you

to do fuckin' homework under a streetlight.

- Or do homework.

- Correction, if you were to pay me,

I would gladly try to do it.

- Well... - See but this guy,

he would love just to fuckin'-

- I think that guy's great, I'm a big fan of him.

[chips crunching]

- Well... - He'd do anything

to have a fuckin' trailer like this,

with the power turned on. - Yeah, fuckin' raised makin'

these fuckin' things.

- [Ricky] It's kinda fucked up.

I shouldn't of stuck those fuckin' things together.

Alright, so that was a happy story I guess.

- I'm tryin' to, yeah, I've been tryin' to

get some feel good stories here,

but there's nothin', man.

- How in the fuck is that a feel good story?

- Aw this ones even worse, man.

This fuckin', this chick...

Aw man, this is fuckin' gross!

They find four living bees in this woman's eye.

Feeding off her tears.

Like how the fuck, what is wrong with you?

- [Ricky] What're you talkin' about, man?

- Try flippin' your lid down

and checkin' out what's irritating ya.

Ya know what I mean? - [Bubbles] Bees!

- Bees! Four of 'em.

- Like honey bees?

- Like fuckin' bees!

- Bumblebees?

- Look at these fuckin' things, look.

For real are you kidding me?

- That can't be real!

- You are dumb!

- If you don't know you got bees livin' in your eye,

- Oh yeah she was twenty-

- somethin's wrong with your fuckin' brain!

- She's twenty somethin'.

Goin' to university with bees in her fuckin' eyes.

- That, what website are you findin' this on?

That sounds like the Onion.

- I'll tell ya, I can still get a ten outta ten boys.

[Mr. Lahey singing gibberish] [bowling ball rolls]

[bowling pins falling]

Mark me up, got a seven.

Gotta take my pants off.

- [Doug] No, no, no, put them back on!

[laughter]

[bowling ball striking pins]

[bowling pins falling]

- Oh! Not bad!

[bowling ball striking pins]

[pins falling]

[cheering] - Whoa!

- [Lenny] Yeah! Yeah!

- I can do this.

[Mr. Lahey singing a gibberish tune]

[bowling ball rolling]

[bowling ball striking pins]

[bowling pins falling] [Mr. Lahey singing gibberish]

- [Lenny] You don't wanna get beaten by a drunk, guys,

come on.

- Watch this.

- [Lenny] C'mon, Doug, pick it up!

- [Mr. Lahey] We're lettin' the liquor do the bowlin'.

- [Doug] Man. [Mr. Lahey laughs]

- Now, what do ya want now?

- You're gettin' a little [gibberish].

Well, what's the score boys, what's the score?

- The score you gotta beat loser is 107.

[bowling pins crashing]

- A hundred and seven?

- Right. - And how much have I got?

- You're eighty-eight, you're eighty-eight.

- You gotta two marks goin' out, buddy.

- I gotta get two marks?

- Two marks goin' out.

- Well guess what? - And you never got two marks

in a row in your life.

- What I'm gonna do boys!

- Oh, now what's in there?

- I'm gonna pick up my secret weapon.

- [Carl] Oh yeah, sure - What do you got in there?

- [Lenny] What the hell

is that? - This is 140 proof,

this is the- - 140! Who hoo!

- That got you banned last time, remember?

[Mr. Lahey growling gibberish]

- Today I have the [gibberish] of the rightness-esh

in my soul.

[techno music]

Alright, pass it around boys.

Through the back door.

Turbo shit-bags comin' up!

Watch this little shit.

[Mr. Lahey makes swooshing noise]

[bowling pins crashing]

[cheering]

- [Doug] Oh, Lahey, Lahey!

- Holy Jesus Christ! - Lahey!

- Lahey!

- If he makes one more mark, he beats us!

- No way! - Strike?

- A strike and you win!

- No problem!

[mumbles incoherently]

Okay, hold that for me.

[bottle clinking]

[techno music continues]

Here we go.

[techno music intensifies]

[bowling ball growling]

- [Carl] How can a drunk like that, throw a ball like that?

[bowling pins crashing]

- [Lenny] Oh my gosh!

- Ta-da!

[cheering]

- Oh my gosh!

[Mr. Lahey yelling excitedly]

- You did it, dammit!

- It's like the liquor made him better!

- What the hell was that?

- I got, I got a little drinky poo!

Oh not only do I get a drinky poo,

I get this fuckin' thing!

I waited twenty years for this boys.

Twenty years.

I came,

I saw,

I conquered. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah!

- Veni, vidi, vici.

[upbeat music]

[kisses trophy]

Ecce homo.

[bowling pins crash]

Let's see what we got for the lucky ducky.

Lucky, lucky.

You know what the lucky ducky says.

[imitates explosion noise]

Nice one.

[singing gibberish]

I'm a winner every time I [mumbles].

Say goodby to all your little shitty fuckin' ducky friends.

[squeaking noise]

Oh listen.

[squeaking noise]

That's right, never cry shit-duck.

[glass breaking]

That's my favorite magical bowling ball.

I don't, what am I, little ducky.

[Mr. Lahey speaking gibberish in a duck voice]

[bright music] We'll see you next time

for another exciting episode

of Jim Lahey and the Liquor Stories.

[Mr. Lahey speaking gibberish in a duck voice]

Fuck off.

[bowling balls crashing]

[slurping sounds]

Can't waste good liquor.

- [Bubbles] I came down to the jail

as fast as I could once Ricky called me, I mean,

I can't imagine what he's goin' through.

This is a day that I

always thought, ya know, could come someday,

but I just hoped it wouldn't.

But it looks like it's here, so all I can do is just go in

and be as supportive as I can and I just gotta be braced

for when he tells me...

- [Loudspeaker] Bubbles proceed to visitation.

- Okay I'm goin' in, goin' in.

[Bubbles sighs nervously]

[Bubbles sighs heavily]

[sound of door opening and closing]

- Hey Ricky.

- Hey Bubs, thanks for coming, man.

- Hey Julian. - Hey Bubs.

- Thanks for being here, Julian.

Boys, I got some

really, really bad news today at the fuckin' infirmary.

- I know Ricky, I know, just,

I been tryin' to get ready for it

so I think the best thing to do

is just fuckin' hit me with it.

[Ricky sighs heavily]

- I'm fuckin', I'm shrinkin' to death.

- [Bubbles] Ricky!

- You're shrinking to death?

What the fuck does that even mean, man?

- What are ya talking about?

- It should happen in less than a year.

- Jesus Ricky!

- I thought you were fuckin' gonna tell me

you fuckin' had cancer or somethin' Ricky.

- No man, it's just as bad though.

I'm gonna fuckin' shrink to death.

- [Bubbles] What do ya mean you're shrinkin' to death?

- I did the math and

within five years I'll probably be the size

of a fuckin' squirrel.

Maybe a rabbit.

- This is the news?

- Yeah and if it keeps going, I mean,

eventually I'm might be fuckin' as small as an ant.

- Ricky!

- Maybe a bigger bug like a dragonfly,

but if I'm that small,

I wouldn't even be able to smoke dope anymore, like,

what's the fuckin' point? - First of all,

you would be able to smoke dope,

but I don't think you're gonna shrink

to the size of a fuckin' ant.

- Just promise me if I ever become the size of an ant,

and I'm still alive, you'll build me like a nice little ant

things outta match sticks or somethin' and you'll feed me

and if you could just smoke a joint once in a while

and blow into my little ant face.

- Ricky. - Ricky.

- This is fucked.

- Julian did you know about this?

- I, Bubs do you think I'd be here if,

if he fuckin' told me he was shrinkin' to death?

Are you fuckin' kiddin' me?

- What, okay Ricky, just back the fuck up here, lets...

Why do you think you're shrinkin' in the first place?

- I'm an inch and a half shorter than I was

the last time I went there and they measured me.

- So that's all it is, is just that you got measured.

- And I, from what I've read there's no way to stop it.

- But Ricky, maybe they just wrote it down wrong.

The first time, or they fucked up with the measuring tape.

Like, you have no proof that you're shrinkin', do ya?

- They don't give a fuck about how tall you are, man!

- Man if I do, what, okay, riddle me this.

If I did become the size of a little ant,

would my brain still have the same smart?

- Well... [Bubbles sighs heavily]

Ricky, you don't gotta worry about it.

Yes you would probably retain your same smart.

- You'd probably be smarter.

- So what then, so, I mean...

- So you're biggest worry

is that you're gonna be the size of an ant

and you won't be able to smoke a joint.

- But if I was an ant and I smoked it,

I, I wouldn't need as much probably,

but my brain would be like,

this is fucked 'cause you're not,

you can smoke a lot more than this even though you can't,

and then what happens with my brain?

- Ricky, if you became an ant

and you retained all your fuckin' knowledge,

you would be able to get high,

'cause I would blow smoke at ya.

Or I'd make ya a little joint the size of a piece of rice

and light it for ya and

you could just suck on it. - Bubs.

- Bubs! - Thanks Bubs.

I love you buddy.

You make me very- - This is really

why you got me down here, all the

fuckin' drivin' down here panickin',

almost fuckin' shit myself in the taxi.

Hyperventilatin', fuckin' thought you were dyin'

and now ya tell me you're worried

you're gonna turn into a fuckin' squirrel and then an ant!

- How would you feel?

- Ricky you coulda just told me on the phone

and I coulda straightened it out for ya

and not came all this way.

- I thought you might have some advice,

like I was thinkin' maybe you could

bring me down some like weed fertilizers

and see if I could get growed up a bit more again.

- You're not eatin', drinkin' ...

- People don't shrink to death Ricky!

- I am!

- Dude, nobody is!

- Ricky say maybe somehow ya shrank a tiny bit,

just maybe from fuckin' dehydration or somethin',

I don't know, maybe you shrank.

[knocking]

- [Guard] Wrap it up!

- Even if ya did, you're not gonna shrink

to the size of a fuckin' squirrel.

Nobody's ever done that in the history of man.

- You can't go from bein' a human

to a fuckin' squirrel Ricky, and then

from a squirrel to a fuckin' ant.

It's impossible. - No, I, its just that size.

I'd still look like this, but just

like this big. - Oh, Ricky, man.

- Little, tiny ant Ricky.

Oh my Jesus. - Thanks for comin' Bubs

and thanks for if it does happen,

you're gonna look after me buddy.

Now I can sleep tonight. - If , I promise ya if ya

turn into a fuckin' ant I will have you the nicest ant home

you've ever seen.

- Bubs. - Thanks buddy.

[pounds fist on glass]

- You'll have an ant mansion, Ricky.

[whispers] Jesus Murphy.

- Alright, we'll see ya soon man thanks.

- [Bubbles] Okay. It does make me feel better.

- See ya Bubs.

- Okay, see yas.

[knocking sounds]

- I can't believe I'm fuckin' shrinkin' to death.

- [Julian] You're not fuckin' shrinkin' to death.

- [Ricky] I'm fucked!

[door closes]

- This is what I deal with.

[Ricky sighs]

- Alright, welcome back to Gettin' Learnt with Ricky.

Brand new year for most of you people.

I don't start my new year til the fuckin'

snow is gone at least because

nothin's changed, it's not a fuckin' new year,

still fuckin' winter.

Anyway, hopefully it won't be a long winter this year,

and having my new year in March or

maybe 4/20.

It's a good time to start a new year.

But anyway, this time of year is fuckin' cold

for most of us in Canada.

All you people livin' down in

the sunny fuckin' United States or US and A

or whatever the fuck you're called.

Good for you guys, it's cold up here.

It's a fuckin' shitty time of year.

So this time of year, we got no money,

we need to get extra high.

And how do you do that?

Fuckin' bongs.

So today's episode, we're gonna talk about

bongs [marker squeaks]

and how to make the fuckin' things, because

why would you buy one right now?

You don't have a lot of money, but you need to get high.

You can make a fuckin' bong outta pretty much anything.

Now bongs are pretty much, it is science,

and there's a pretty much a simple fuckin' science to it.

[container rattles]

Normally I'll make them out of like a fuckin'

masonry jar or ya know somethin' like that,

or maybe a can or some kind of a fuckin'

like a bottle thingy like this that has a top.

[marker tapping]

Top

[marking squeaking]

And what you want to do here is, you're gonna

put a hole in the fuckin' side of it.

This is gonna be your little thing

that comes down into the water.

That's you're little,

that's where you wanna put your dope and shit right here.

Then you need another little fuckin' opening or a straw.

I like to use a straw that doesn't go into the water.

That's where, that's your sucker point.

[marker tapping]

Suck.

So then what you wanna do,

put a bit of water in it,

this part has to be under the water,

this is where your fuckin' shit's gonna come in,

and all your smokes gonna come in through here.

And then when you're sucking on it,

it's gonna come up through here

and right into you're fuckin' lungs, delicious.

Could be weed, could be hash.

Sometimes a little combos nice.

So we're gonna show you how to make one of these

fuckin' things out of pretty much anything.

Now I will say this.

[container rattling]

Bongs are awesome because they do filter out a bunch of the

shitty shit and make the smoke healthy for ya.

[container rattling]

But they also filter out some of the fuckin' THC,

so if you wanna get extra high,

sometimes it's better to just smoke a joint.

But anyway, that's a different show.

Let's fuckin' make some bongs!

Alright, as you can see, you can pretty much make

pipes and bongs outta fuckin' anything.

So, we're gonna start with pipes 'cause some of you

are probably too fuckin' lazy or too dumb

to make a water bong even though it's easy as fuck.

Or maybe you're just in a fuckin' rush

to get some smoke in your lungs, so.

Pipes you can make outta fuckin' anything here.

Here's a simple pipe.

Can, rip off that little thing that cuts ya,

poke some little holes in here.

Fill that up with some fuckin',

some weed or whatever and...

[lighter flicking]

[inhales deeply]

[Ricky exhales]

Very simple, very fuckin' quick.

But if you wanna get creative,

you can also make fuckin' bongs outta fruit.

Nice little pineapple bong with a carrot.

Just hollow out that and put some tin foil in there,

ya know and..

[Ricky inhales]

[Ricky exhales] Adds a nice little

flavor to your fuckin' weed if it's pretty harsh.

Shitty fuckin' mall dope.

There's a watermelon one with an apple at the top

and a carrot, so that's gonna have three fuckin' flavors,

like a nice little mixture.

Or maybe you don't have any fuckin' fruit,

but you got a big bologna log,

got some fuckin' pepperoni so.

Hollow out the bologna log in the middle there,

put a nice little place where you can put this little

sucker device.

Take a nice piece of pepperoni, it's about a

five and a half inch cock of pepperoni there I guess.

Then you just wanna drill out the middle of that.

[drill whirring]

[drill whirring]

There ya go, so you can fuckin' see right through that.

It's perfect.

[Ricky inhales]

You wanna put that fuckin' thing right in there.

Actually that kinda looks like

somebody, some dude with a cock or a cigar,

so you can draw a little face on it if you want.

Might be fun.

Just a little guy smoking there.

So then what you want to do is you wanna to take

some tin foil,

[foil crinkling]

Put that right in the top here,

[foil tapping]

and take a little fuckin nail or some,

poke some little fuckin' holes in there with somethin'.

[tapping foil]

You could use your cock if it's really tiny.

[Ricky chuckling]

And there you go, nice little fuckin' pipe.

Put your shit in there,

[Ricky inhaling]

[Ricky exhaling]

Beautiful!

Tastes a little like meat, which is kinda fucked

unless you really like meat like I do.

I like honey garlic pepperoni, puts a nice flavor on it.

And the best part is once you're done all of this,

all the dope kinda gets absorbed into the fruit or the meat,

you fuckin' eat it and you get extra high.

[tin foil crinkling]

- Um, if Chris Hadfield married

a lady with the last name Flowers,

and they just kept their names and hyphenated them.

- Yeah?

- His last name, er her last name would be

Julia

Hadfield-Flowers.

[Ricky chuckling]

- What?

[chips crunching]

- What the fuck are you...

- Julia... - I'm just sayin',

you have to be careful who you marry 'cause if

they're gonna keep the last names and hyphenate them.

- Ricky, there's no weed in these is there?

- Nah, no, not these ones.

Took me a second.

- What do ya mean not these ones?

Did you put oil on the other ones?

[Ricky chewing]

'Cause I feel like I'm startin' to

get baked. - You know what?

There could be a bit of weed butter.

I remember melting weed butter last night.

- I can feel myself getting baked.

- That's great!

Just let it run with ya.

- Better go with it, man.

[Bubbles sigh heavily] [chips crunching]

- Ricky.

- Or if you married someone with the last name Horse.

Julia Hadfield-Horse.

[Bubbles chuckling menacingly]

- See that shouldn't be funny to me!

- Yeah.

I'm not laughin' at all. - Why am I laughin'?

- [Ricky] Julia

- [Bubbles] Hadfield-Horse

[Julian chuckling]

Julia Hadfield-Horse.

[Bubbles chuckling]

Oh I guess I might as well just keep eatin' 'em now.

- Just go with it, man, who gives a fuck.

- What if her last name was Cox?

I guess that's not that great.

Julia Hadfield-Cox.

- Julia Hadfield-Cox

[Ricky chuckling]

[chips crunching]

Like what, what the fuck is wrong with your brain, man?

Fuck.

- What if he married...

What if her last name was finger?

Julia Hadfield-Finger.

[Ricky and Bubbles chuckling]

[Bubbles cackles]

- What does that fuckin' mean?

- I get it!

What if he married Julia

I-remember-when-I?

Julia I-remember-when-I.

[Ricky and Julian chuckling] - What?

- Julia I-remember-when-I-Hadfield.

[Bubbles laughs]

And then it got turned into a parkin' lot.

[Ricky, Bubbles and Julian chuckling]

- Bubs, Man!

Keep eatin' those fuckin' things.

- Don't eat any more of these. - Scared?

- No, no, keep, keep going. - Whoo, hoo, hoo!

- I like this guy. - I'm tryin to fuckin' make,

don't make my brain explode.

- Ooh baby.

- Americans invaded Canada twice.

- Yup. - 1775 and 1812

and they lost both times.

- That's right.

- However, I think if they did it now,

we would be fucked!

- Oh, we'd be totally fucked, man.

- The war would last about twenty minutes.

- It might be a little hard to defend

at this point. - Wrap it up, fuck!

Third largest oil reserves after Saudi Arabia and Venezuela.

- Alright, that's a lot of oil.

- We were the third country into space

after the US and the USSR.

I didn't even know we went to space.

- What? - I thought we just did

with other people.

- Canada Space Agency, CSA.

- This said we're

one of the best ones in the world in 1962.

- Oh in '62?

- Our money, Mexico's money, India's, Russia and Israel have

bray-ille like markings for the blind.

- Braille.

- Braille, little bumpy things.

- The little bumpy things.

- Tomato, tomahto?

- No it's not tomato, tomahto thing, man.

- It's not a tomato anything. - That's pretty awesome.

Why doesn't every fuckin' country have that?

- Well, most do now.

- This is fucked.

Canada has fewer people than Tokyo's metropolitan area.

And we're the second biggest country in the world.

That's weird, man.

- Yeah, man. - That's a busy city.

- Say that again.

- We have less people than Tokyo's,

Tokyo City's metropolitan area.

Just downtown Tokyo has more people than Canada,

that's fucked! - Downtown Tokyo

has more than 30 million people?

- That's insane.

- That's a pretty crowded place, man.

- Jesus that's crowded compared to here.

- That would drive me fuckin' nuts!

- Okay we gotta go I guess.

- I am officially too baked to be here.

- All right well we're done so [laptop snaps shut]

- Dormeatchos, try them. - You don't have to be.

They're fuckin' awesome.

- Give them the recipe quick, Ricky, for Dormeatchos.

- Just any kinda Doritos, the spicy ones are good.

Pepperoni, this were hot and just some kinda cheese.

Good cheese would probably better,

but all I had was cheese slices.

- Cut up a Solo cup, dump some hot sauce in 'er.

- Yup, or other dunk sauces. - And you got yourself

your Dormeatchos.

- Throw on some uh, weed butter if you want.

[cat meowing]

- Me had butter.

- There ya go.

- Me had Dormeatchos.

[seagulls squawking]

["Trailer Park Boys Theme" by Blain Morris]

[sound of waves]

[sound of boat engine ticking]

[fish cursing in chorus]

- Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Jesus Christ!

[sound of engine roaring]

[sound of lock clicking]

- [Narrator] [whispering] Fuck off.