All language subtitles for Trailer.Park.Boys.The.SwearNet.Show.Series.S03E04.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-NPMS_track3_[eng]

- [Ricky] Warning.

The following program contains
really coarse language,

weed, alcohol consumption,
smoking,

and sexual infer-ferlences.

This content may not be
suitable for viewers under 18.

To activate parental controls,

please press the big "Go
[beep] Yourself" button

on your remote control.

[tranquil piano music]

- Julian?

- Yeah, no.

That's not gonna happen.

- [Ricky] It could be a
different Julian.

- No, they know what's,

it's a Julian's Bar and Gym,
man.

- Julian.

- It could be Julian that
fucked up the,

icky leaks, or-

- The who?
- Pitty keys or

whatever the fuck, the,
nevermind.

- [Lahey] What, the Pitty Keys?

What?

- He was a Julian, wasn't he?

- That fucked up the what?

[Lahey laughing]

- [Ricky] The lick, licky leaks,
or-

- The lick, what?

What is the licky leaks?

- Wikileaks.

The Julius Assanges.

- [Ricky] Boom.

- Yeah, see?

Fucking dummy.

- Yep.

- Dude, what the fuck are you-

I can't understand you.

You're slurring.

[Lahey laughing]

- Look who's dumb and
who's dumber now.

- Why don't you fuck-

what are you on his side?

- I don't know.

- He doesn't know what
he's talking about.

- Julian, that's because I
had brownies for breakfast.

I'm sorry, but I came-

- [Ricky] How much liquor
did you have for breakfast?

- What was the particular
liquor that I had for breakfast?

- [Ricky] Yep.

- It was decanted.

I don't know what I
poured in there,

but it was a mixture.

- [Ricky] A decanted?

- I poured it all in
one same bottle.

- [Ricky] So. [laughs]

- It was a little of this
and a little of that.

[Ricky and Lahey laughing]

- [Julian] That's fucked.

- [Ricky] That's quite
a way to start the day.

- Well, that's how alcoholics
usually start their day.

With a fucking crazy-ass
drink like that.

- Julian,

I have a question for you.

- [Julian] What?

- Under what circumstances,

first of all, have you
ever heard of

"The Randy and Lahey Show"?

Oh, no, no, "Lahey
and Randy Show".

Whatever the fuck it's called.

- Thought it was called
"The Randy Show and Lahey".

- Something like that.

- The other show,

another show that's on
the SwearNet?

- Yeah, yeah. Have you
ever seen that show?

- I've never watched it.

- Neither have I, Julian.

So we're fucking even,

but I'll just tell you one thing

that you should remember.

[Julian sighs]

Forgot what I was gonna say.

- All right. Moving on.

- Oh yeah, I want you
to be a guest.

- Want, no.
- Yeah, yeah.

- That's a great idea.
- No fucking chance.

- Yeah, what? Isn't
that a great idea?

- [Ricky] Yeah, I
think you'll have

a really good time, Julian.

- And it should be for a
goatee contest.

And we should invite all
the handsome fucking dudes

around that got goatees.

And we can-

- I really want to sit
around with a bunch of dudes

with fucking goatees,
talking about-

- No, no, no.

It would be at Metro Center.

There'd be thousands of
them there with their goats.

- What the, are you, what?

- They'd win prizes.
- Sounds like a good time.

You should do it, man.

- Would you shut the fuck up?
- Sounds really fun.

[Lahey laughing]

- I would not want to do that.

- You'd love it.

- That's the last fucking
thing in the world

I'd want to do.

- You could put on a
goatee clinic.

Or set up a booth.

- Going to a goatee contest and-

- Yep.

- Hanging with a bunch
of guys and him.

- I've seen some of
their shows and

I think you would have
a lot of fun.

They treat their
guests very well.

They, uh-

Yeah, no. You'd have a
really good time.

[Lahey laughing]

- what's so fucking funny?

- [Ricky] Nothing.
- Nothing.

- [Ricky] Just go on the
show and you'll find out.

- Not gonna, it's not
gonna happen.

- [Ricky] Lahey
doesn't even drink.

And he's not attracted
to any of the guests,

so you don't have
worry about that.

- Julian.

- Like, what the fuck is
he doing on these shows?

[chair scrapes on floor]

It's not, like,

why are you moving over
closer to me?

- [laughs] I wanna see
what you're looking at.

- Jesus Christ.

- Pablo Escobear.

The lizard-

Oh, look.

Did you know, guys, that
I can do card tricks?

- Can I show you-

- I'm sure the people
watching this,

they're just gonna love seeing
your fucking card trick.

- Most people listen to it.

Can't even see it.
- Give me one minute.

One minute for the card trick,
okay?

We take a deck of cards
like this, right?

- [Ricky] Yep.

- And we go like this.

[Lahey makes ripping noise]

Like that.

- [Ricky] That was pretty cool.

- And we hold the cards
up like this.

- [Ricky] Okay.

- And then we take the
cards like this.

We take them like that.

Put them like this.

And then we go- [blows air]

Like that.

And we go, whoop like this,

and we go, ta-da.

- [Ricky] Jesus Christ.

- And fucking blow your mind.

- That was pretty fucked,
I have to tell you.

- I know how he did it.

- Could be the drugs.

- How did I do it?

- You bring up close, you,
it's just a card trick.

- It was a good one.

[Lahey laughing]

- It's a shitty one.

- So, you started your
day with liquor?

- Yeah.

- We were reading this
fucking thing about this,

we're kind of fans of this
Hunter S. Thompson fella.

- Oh, fuck. He's wonderful.

- [Ricky] He's a
fucking nightmare.

- They shot his remains
in the cannonball

up to the Earth of orbits.

- So, we should compare
how he spends his day

to how you spend your day.

- [Ricky] He used to get
up at 3:00 PM.

- Yeah.

- Then he'd start with
Chivas Regal,

with the morning paper.
- Now you're bullshitting me.

He didn't get up to drink-

- [Ricky] 3:05, yeah.

- [Julian] 3:05, to drink.

- What, are you reading this?

- This is his schedule.

- [Ricky] 3:45-
- Ugh, tell me about it.

- [Ricky] 3:45, Cocaine.

3:50, another glass of Chivas.

4:05, first cup of
coffee and some Dunhill.

4:15, Cocaine.

- Dunhill?

- 4:16, orange juice, Dunhill.

- Oh, is that a cigarette?

- I guess so.

4:30, cocaine.

4:51, cocaine.

5:05, cocaine.
- [Lahey] No.

5:11, coffee, Dunhill.
- [Lahey] No, no, no, no.

- 5:30, more ice and Chivas.

5:45, cocaine.

6:00 PM, grass to take
the edge off.

- Take The edge off.

- 7:05, he'd head to
the Woody Creek Tavern.

- He used to go there every day.

- [Ricky] For lunch, he
would get a Heineken,

two margaritas, two
cheeseburgers,

two orders of fries, a
plate of tomatoes.

That's an odd one.

Cole slaw, a taco salad,
double order of onion rings,

carrot cake, ice cream,
bean fritter,

Dunhills, another Heineken,
cocaine,

- You could make this up.
- And for the ride home,

a snow cone.
- [Lahey] Don't believe them.

- A glass of shredded
ice, over which is poured,

three or four jiggers of Chivas.

9:00 PM, cocaine.
- Hey.

- 10:00 PM, drops acid.

[laughs] 11:00 PM,
Chartreuse, cocaine, grass.

11:30, cocaine.

- This is insane.

This is not true.

- Midnight.
- Yep.

- No, nobody can do that.

- At midnight, he's
ready to write.

So he starts work at midnight.

[Ricky laughing]

And then he does a bunch
of more fucking cocaine,

grass, coffee, booze,
orange juice.

- That's ridiculous.

- And he goes to bed
at 8:20 in the morning,

after eating some fettuccine

and some champagne in
the hot tub.

- It's from Shit the bed.

Dear Julian.

I need your professional opinion

on a home matter.

My brother-in-law, who
is 20 years old,

has moved into my house,
along with my wife,

and our nine year old
son, and our newborn.

We let him stay because
he got kicked out

of his mother's home
for being disrespectful,

and just being an asshole.
[sips]

He will not clean up
after himself

and is a constant nuisance.

What's the best way to
get him to leave

without hurting him or
causing bad blood?

Usually in a
situation like this,

I wouldn't care to hurt someone,

but I'm going to have
to be around

with him for the
rest of my life.

What should I do?

Holy fuck, man.

Number one,

you should have good talk
with your wife and say,

"Hey, what's the scoop
on your brother?

He's a fucking dick.

Maybe you should talk to
him and tell him

to smarten the fuck up
or get the fuck out."

That's what I would do.

But, if you got a problem
with talking your wife,

because a lot of people
in relationships,

I guess, don't
communicate that well.

You go up to the guy,

I mean, this is your
fucking house, man.

Okay?

This is your kingdom.

This fuckhead's coming
in and making a mess,

not cleaning up after himself.

You gotta go hard on
this asshole.

You gotta say,

"Listen man, I'm letting
you into my home. Okay?

I love you as a
brother-in-law or stepbrother,

whatever the fuck you are,

but you gotta stop up
fucking up my house

and you gotta stop being a dick

or you get the fuck out."

This is an easy one to handle.

Go to the wife first.

Then dig into this guy
and say, "No offense.

Maybe you'll respect me more
for talking to you, bud,

but you're a fucking,
you're a bum.

Clean up your act."

- Oh-ho-ho-ho, you
little tickler.

Yeah, I gotta keep Little
Ricky hidden real good,

because I'm so
worried about him.

I'm going to build him a home,
you know?

Like, some people say
different things about a home.

Like, home is the heart
of the universe,

or home, roam where you're home.

I put you in, like, a trap door.

Like this.

So, you can get in and out
and then, like,

I can seal you up, and
then you'll be safe.

So, no one can take you
away from me.

I didn't really ever think I'd,
like,

feel so much affection
for, like, a critter.

Like, I really didn't
have a lot of critters

when I was little, so this
is kind of like my first pet.

So, I'm just basically
head over heels

and I love him so much.

- Maybe I'll put like some
cocks, you like cocks, right?

There's a long, thin one,

big long pecker and a
little bit of fuzz up there.

[rat squeaking]

Oh.

Oh, fuck, smokes for sure.

This is a fresh smoke. Okay.

That's your extra backup one,
do a little crosshatching.

That's, fucking, a
technical term.

Here's a fresh doob,
twisted up for you there.

Then there's the filter?

For the entrance, Ricky,
what do you want there?

[rat squeaking]

Are you serious?

Okay.

Your fucking shit mobile,

I don't know, that's a
little tricky. Let me see.

Oh, you gave me a little quiver

when you're feeling emotions.

[rat squeaking]

It's okay, bud.

[rat squeaking]

Yeah, I know there's no doors.
I know.

I fucking know.

Woo.

Okay. You want it like L-I-T-T,
little?

Little apostrophe, little.

And then I'll put over
here, for good measures,

"Fuck off". Okay?

Oh yeah, here we go.

Shred it.

It's bigger, too.

You could, like, fit the
whole family in there.

[rat squeaking]

No, I won't be able to
sleep in there with you.

Cool your jets, in you go.

There you go, Little Ricky.

Now watch this. Close it up.

You feel secure, bud?

[rat squeaking]

Safe and sound. Then
I'll do the four fold.

Here you go. There, now look.

Hey, bud.

There you are, Your home
sweet fucking home, Ricky.

He's my best friend.

Now watch this, I'll fucking
airlift you outta here.

[imitating helicopter whirring]

It's better than your own
personal helicopter, buddy.

Fucking right on. Smokes,
let's go. [laughs]

Well, me and Ricky are, like,
thick as thieves, as usual.

So you know,

I'm going to do what it
takes to keep him hidden.

Like, I'm never going
to let him go.

Come hell or high water,
Ricky's my buddy, you know.

Like, I'll protect him
till the end.

Till death do us part,
we're pretty much married.

Oh, you want some more hash?

Woo-hoo-hoo.

You love your hash, I
can't fucking believe it.

You're Little Ricky, for sure.

Oh, you gobbled it right up, eh?

Holy fuck.

You're a hash maniac.

- [Intercom Officer] Hey, Terry.

- What?

- [Intercom Officer] We don't
need to come down there,

do we?

- No.

Ricky.

Fuck.

- [Intercom Officer] Get it
out or we're coming down.

- Don't come down here.

Fuck off.

Fuck, I knew it's too
good to be true.

Ricky, you gotta come out, bud.

Come on, pal. We gotta go.

- [Intercom Officer] All
right, we're coming down.

- Can't stay here. Fuck off.

Go, Ricky, go. Go be free.
[cries]

- Yeah so, Ricky had to go,
you know,

that's just the way it is.

Like, the guards were on to us

and it was either him or me,
so to speak,

so I sent him off and

I don't even mind, you
know what I mean?

- Once more into the breach,
dear friends, once more.

[upbeat blues rock music]

Yeah.

We're not going to need
this anymore, I don't think.

There they are.

Ta-da.

I've come back to
claim my jewelry.

- Well, you'll have to earn it,
buddy.

- I'm going to earn it.

Look, boys. I brought
my black pants.

I see you're not wearing
your black pants.

Well, I don't want anyone
disqualifying me this time

cause I'm wearing some
shitty pants.

I'm going to go and put
these pants on

and I'm going to
reclaim the trophy.

- Good luck.

- 20 years, bud, I
waited for this.

- Well, I like your optimism.

Man, he looks the same.

I don't think he's
cleaned up at all.

- Everybody said that
he got banned

for not wearing black pants,

but there's times, I don't
think he had pants on at all.

- Be right back.

- I thought he died.

Holy shit.

[ball rolling]
[pins crashing]

Well, when you come in and
you got vomit over your pants,

two different bowling shoes.

Oh, he was just something else.

I mean, when it was
just turn to bowl,

you could never find him.

- Boys-

- Jeez, you smell bad.

Are you sure you
changed your pants?

Come on.

- There was one
incident I remember.

Machine seemed to jam
or something.

The balls weren't coming back.

So Jim said, "I'll go
down and fix it."

You know, he went down.
He never came back.

- They found him on a
turntable down there.

That's why the balls
weren't coming back.

- We're going to have
a little drinkie-poo,

just to show there's no
hard feelings,

you little shit-weasel.

Here we go.

It's two year old rock vodka.

To your health.

- He was drinking
some weird stuff.

We had no idea what it was.

- Oh, that's fucking good.

- They're letting him back in
these lanes, after 20 years,

it's just unbelievable.

Like, they should never,
ever even let him in.

- Here's a little ruley-poo.

You get a strike and you
gotta have little drinkie.

And you get a spare, you
gotta have a little drinkie.

- I don't think he has a
snowball's chance in hell

in getting that trophy back.

- Here we go, boys.

First ball.

Ah, for fuck's sake.
That's a practice.

That's a prac-

League rules is a practice.

Yeah, your best two
out of three.

Best fucking two out of three,
boys.

You know, that's the rule.

This is shit bag. I'm
going over here.

Ah, for fuck's sakes.

Okay, watch this.

Pew.

[guys yelling in disapproval]

Ta-da.

That wasn't a gutterball.

- That was a gutterball.

♪ I'm leaving it all up to you ♪

♪ Gonna change,
la-da-dee-da-da ♪

♪ Da-Da, for fuck's sakes,
I got dee-da-lee-dee ♪

- Okay, boys.

Now the game begins.

What's your name again?

Oh, no.

Oh, you guys are
friggle-fragged.

Ta-da.
- Woo.

- Here's a little drinkie-poo.

Well, get a drinkie-poo

You guys have met your Waterloo.

- Pick her up guys. Come on.

- [All Bowlers] Oh.

- [Doug] Come on, kick it over.

- Was that a 10 or a spare?

- [Doug] That's a 10.

- You get a little sip for this,
for a 10.

Straight goods.

- [Doug] Woo.

- Don't cross your shit line.

Have another little sippy-poo.

[pins crashing]

I deserve to win.

I'm the best bowler than-

[pins crashing]

- [All Bowlers] Oh.

- Holy moly.

[pins crashing]

Ta-da.

Another little drinkie-poo.

Drain the cup, bud.
Drain the cup.

- [All Bowlers] Oh.

- [Lahey] What a ball.

- [Henry] There it is.

- You deserve a
little drinkie-poo.

You deserve a little
drinkie-poo.

My turn.

All right.

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

- Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, that's him. I
remember him now.

- I got one.

- Guys, I never-

- Have a drink. Have a
drink to that.

- Ah, you're right. I'll just
have a little drinkie-poo.

- Yeah. Have another drink.

- Oh, that sucks.

[Lahey grunting]

- [Carl] Oh, what a ball.
What a ball.

You all right, Jim?
- [Doug] You all right, Jim?

- [Carl] You all right?

- I still get another
ball. I get another one.

- It's going to be-

- You. You, so far.

Oh, I got a slock.

I got slock a liquor in my eye.

[Lahey grunts]

That wasn't, you know, a
hundred percent,

but that's cause that
ball was fucked.

This ball here, this ball here,

this ball here is,

twin fucking brothers
is what the ball was.

- Hey, you guys.

It's so great to see
you cockheads.

- Fucking hell, man.
- Fucking, right on.

- Hey Sebastian, how you doing?

- Oh and you brought a puppet,
man.

This is great because
I dig puppets.

- That's Bobby Turkalino
and Little Ricky.

- Ha, ha, ha.
- [Sebastian] Right on.

- Well, it's not quite a ton,
man,

but this should last you
quite a goddamn while.

- You're telling me that
this whole thing

is filled with honey oil.

- Well, it's not quite
full, but fuck yeah,

there's a lot in there.

- Holy shit.

Ricky, I didn't think you were

talking about an actual ton.

- Look, I speak the
fucking words,

my brain thinks out to me.

Did you or did you not say I
would take whatever you got?

- Yeah. But not a whole goddamn
barrel dude. Like, really?

- Jesus fucking Christ.

- Calm down, Ricky.

How much were we plan on buying?

- Not a barrel.

- What about 125 grand?

- Jesus. No man, not a
fucking chance.

- Look, this is the
best shit I ever smoked.

It's maple flavor. Try it.

[Sebastian coughs]

- Holy

sweet mother

of maple syrup trees.

This is the greatest
honey oil that I, myself,

have ever experienced.

What the? This is
fucking delicious.

We need 125 grand to buy the
trailer park, we live in.

If we don't, these two
fuckheads are going to come in,

buy the place and kick
us the fuck out.

[Sebastian sighs]

How bout I give you the whole
goddamn thing for 125 grand?

- What? Are you nuts?

There's 400 grand worth of
fucking honey oil in there, man.

That's my retirement.

- What's better? Do you want
everybody to lose their homes?

[Ricky sighs]

- I know what it's like. [sighs]

I know what it's like
to lose my crib.

I know what it's like to
lose my band and my chick.

And it fucking sucks ass.

You know what? Fuck it.

I'm taking the whole barrel.

125 dollarinies worth.
Let's fuckING do it.

Let's blaze and the puppet.

- Oh, fucking come on.

- Fucking right. $125,000
worth of this shit.

Get it in the fucking bus.

Let's go, get it loaded.
Open it up.

Let's go. Let's blaze.

Come on, right now.

- Do you think you're
an alcoholic?

- Yeah.
- Not in the least bit.

- When you started drinking,
Julian?

- When I was six or
seven, I started drinking.

- [Ricky] Do you
drink every day?

- [Lahey] Six or seven?

- I drink every day,
but the problem,

the thing is with me,
I pace myself.

Okay?
- Julian.

- I never have memory loss,
ever.

I don't have hangovers.

I just keep it at this even
steady pace man, all day.

Unlike you, who, look at that,

There's that much already.

- Look, it should be down.

I was so interested in what
Ricky was reading over there

about Humper Thompson.

- [Ricky] Am I an alcoholic?

- And then you just ruined it.

Why? You've got a
fucking cup there.

- [Ricky] Lahey.

- That was, I was drinking
to you, Julian.

Because you made it all the
way to the fucking middle, bud.

- I know where your lips fucking
always end up, every day.

Okay.
- Well, I'll finish it up.

- And I'm not drinking
outta that fucking bottle.

- Guess this all happened-

- Where do they end up?

- What?

- Where do his lips end up?
What do you mean by that?

- I don't even, let's not
get into that.

Just think about it.

[Lahey laughing]

- That tells ya, Julian,

the more you describe the
possibilities,

the more I think you and I

think along the same
fucking wavelengths.

And I think there's
some kind of,

why am I attracted to you?

I mean, I fought it all my life.

- Wait. No, no, no.

- No, I fought it all my life.

- We're not fucking talking
about this shit, Lahey.

- Listen, Is it because
of your pheromones?

Is it because how you look?

- [Ricky] What are pheromones?

- Pheromones are those juices
that people can't detect.

- I need a fucking drink.
I need this.

- Yeah. And, and-

- And if you get more-

- Is that the stuff
a dog smells?

- Dogs are a million
times better noses on 'em

than fucking anybody I know.

- I don't know about that, but.

- They do.

- They fucking do.

Like, 1400 thousand times.
- [Julian] Bloodhounds.

They fucking track people, man,
with dogs.

- Hmm.

- Drug dogs.

Do you think you're better
than a drug dog at an airport?

- They're not all that
fucking smart.

- Yeah, they are.

They can detect anything.

They can detect, like,
they use 'em for Wikileaks,

oil leaks in the pipelines.

- Wikileaks.
- Really?

- Yeah.

- They put a little
fucking Mason jar

in the underground and
then the dog goes up

[imitates dog barking]

and he sniffs out the Mason jar.

- So if you were in grade six,

so what if a dog could've
came up to you

with those short shorts on said,

"You know what, bud?"

- [Lahey] Yeah.

- "You might want to
rethink that wardrobe

cause something bad's
about to happen to you.

You're about to leak."

- They probably know what an
anal leakage is all about.

They'd probably be faking-
[Lahey laughing]

- What are we talking about,
guys?

- Boys, I'm in hell right now.

This is not the fucking way
I wanted this day to go.

I don't even give a fuck

about all this other
shit I prepared.

- Am I a alcoholic or
a drug addict?

- You're both man, but-
- Really?

- You're a good kind of
alcoholic, drug,

you're not a drug addict.

You like to smoke a lot
of weed. That's fine.

Smoke as much as you want.

- I don't do many other drugs.

Mushrooms.

- Mushrooms are fine.

- Once every couple weeks
or once a week or whatever.

- You don't drink a lot.

You just, like, you're
a weekend alcoholic.

- Well, I drink every day.
I don't get really drunk.

I get drunk memory loss
twice a week. Is that bad?

- No, at least five
times a week.

You drink about five times
a week to memory loss, man.

- Liquormen's, I've
just realized

it makes you feel friendlier.

- [Ricky] Really?
- It's a friend. Yeah.

- So does hash and

honey oil and

marijuana. [laughs]

But does liquor makes
you friendlier?

Cause I've never noticed
that over the years.

- I was just-

- You should switch
to Liquormen's

if it's making you friendlier,
please.

- I feel like-

- It is a happy kind of a booze.

You do, like, you don't get
the "Err" when you drink it,

like rum does sometimes.

Right?

- I feel like we have,
through the years,

been at each other's throats.

- [Ricky] Do you think?

- And I think for this
moment to happen right now,

for us to sit here, the
three musketeers.

- No, no, no.

We are not the three
fucking musketeers,

nor will we ever be.

- I'll cheers,

if you admit was all your
fault and we can move on

and I'll fucking cheers
up to that, I guess.

- Okay. I do.

- [Julian] No, we're not.
- I do.

- [Julian] We're not having
a makeup session, here.

- I admit it was-

- No, that is not what
this podcast is about.

- Let's hug, Ricky. [laughs]

- Go ahead, guys. Go for it.

No, no, no, no. Not me, Lahey.

Keep your fucking hands off me.

- I'm just teasing, I'm
just teasing.

- You're lucky I'm high,
right now.

[Lahey laughs]

- Yeah, I know.

So, this is our podcast?
Okay, so why don't-

- How are you and Randy,
these days?

- Let me read this.

What, Randy?

- Yeah. Are you guys still good?

- Yeah, Randy is what
you can call-

- [Julian] An idiot.

Idiot.

- Randy's not half as dumb
as people think he is.

- [Julian] He's more dumb.

- You know-

- He was.
- [Lahey] Yeah.

- I saw him trying to
wear shirts.

He was putting plastic
bags over his skin

and then wearing some shirts.

That was kind of weird, but.

- Yeah, but it's
psychosomatical.

- Which means?

- Which means, it's all
in your head.

Like he thinks-

- [Ricky] Oh, fuck. I agree.

- If he thinks that if he
wears his shirt, he'll break,

cause he got pissed on by
a horse in that parade.

Right?

- [Ricky] I don't remember that.

- You remember that parade?

- That's, that's-

- He got pissed on by-

- [Ricky] And that's what
started at all?

- You remember for fuck's sakes.

- Yeah, I know.

I know there was
something about the-

- He was 11 years old
or something.

How old was he?
- [Ricky] I thought he was-

He decided he didn't
wear shirts after that.

- And he liked it. That
was the funny thing.

- I thought it was a bull.
- He just sat there

and just took it all.

It was like he was in a
sprinkler or something.

- That just shows how
depraved you are.

Just to imagine that scenario.

- I was there.

He was enjoying it.

- This is awful.

You know, Julian.

- But I still think he has
a rash problem.

Okay.

I'm not cheersing you.

- You were enjoying watching it?

- That's not happening.

- I didn't enjoy it.

I was just there, for
fuck's sakes.

You were there.

- You couldn't look away.

- It was funny as fuck, man.

- Yeah, that does sound
pretty funny.

- Dancing around in a
piss sprinkler.

- Oh, God.

I can just see little Randy.

- Fuck that was gross.

- That'd be sad.

That'd be, like, you could
cry about that,

if you think about it.

Sitting there and
the guy having,

the horse stopped.

Like everything's running,

the horse stopped and the
crowd, they was going roar.

Just, quieted to nothing.

[tranquil piano music]

[boat engine chugging]

[water lapping]
[birds chirping]

- [Fish] Fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,

fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

- [Ricky] [whispers] Fuck off.