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1
00:00:00,517 --> 00:00:01,829
- [Julian] Warning.
2
00:00:01,863 --> 00:00:03,762
The followin' program contains
really course language,
3
00:00:03,796 --> 00:00:08,284
weed, alcohol consumption,
smoking and sexual inferences.
4
00:00:08,318 --> 00:00:11,770
This content may not be
suitable for viewers under 18.
5
00:00:11,804 --> 00:00:13,427
To activate parental controls,
6
00:00:13,461 --> 00:00:15,360
please press the go [beep]
yourself button
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00:00:15,394 --> 00:00:16,706
on your remote control.
8
00:00:17,776 --> 00:00:22,746
[light poignant piano melody]
[children chatter, birds sing]
9
00:00:29,374 --> 00:00:30,478
- 'Kay, boys. We
ready to do this?
10
00:00:30,513 --> 00:00:31,548
I am fuckin' excited.
11
00:00:31,583 --> 00:00:33,964
Here, I brought snacks
for everybody.
12
00:00:33,999 --> 00:00:35,104
Look what I got here too.
13
00:00:35,138 --> 00:00:36,001
- Thanks, Bubs
14
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,106
- Here, Ricky, you
got some snacks.
15
00:00:37,140 --> 00:00:38,072
- I'm good, man.
16
00:00:38,107 --> 00:00:40,316
I've been snackin' all day.
17
00:00:40,350 --> 00:00:41,696
- Yeah?
18
00:00:41,731 --> 00:00:44,182
Well, I brought more
snacks for everybody.
19
00:00:46,322 --> 00:00:49,911
And I got my new kitty mug.
Look at this.
20
00:00:49,946 --> 00:00:50,705
[Bubbles grunts approvingly]
21
00:00:50,740 --> 00:00:52,052
- That's beautiful, man.
22
00:00:52,086 --> 00:00:53,225
- Look at that.
23
00:00:53,260 --> 00:00:55,089
I'm gonna drink outta of
my new kitty mug today.
24
00:00:55,124 --> 00:00:56,849
Here this starts it.
25
00:00:56,884 --> 00:00:58,058
[beer can pops]
26
00:00:58,092 --> 00:00:59,507
Oh, right there.
27
00:00:59,542 --> 00:01:01,233
Ricky, what the fuck
are you eatin'?
28
00:01:04,098 --> 00:01:05,065
What is that?
29
00:01:05,099 --> 00:01:06,307
- You're droolin', man.
30
00:01:08,516 --> 00:01:09,931
- [Bubbles] What are you eatin'?
31
00:01:11,588 --> 00:01:12,417
- Ricky?
32
00:01:12,451 --> 00:01:13,901
- Throw those fuckin'
things away.
33
00:01:13,935 --> 00:01:15,316
- That's a Tide Pod!
34
00:01:16,317 --> 00:01:17,836
- Ugh, why do people eat these?
35
00:01:18,940 --> 00:01:21,702
- Ricky, spit it out.
Are you eatin' Tide Pods?
36
00:01:23,048 --> 00:01:23,945
Spit it out!
37
00:01:25,188 --> 00:01:27,052
Why would you do that?
38
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:28,088
- [Julian] Wipe your mouth off,
man.
39
00:01:28,122 --> 00:01:31,539
You got a fuckin' shit
drippin' from your lip.
40
00:01:32,954 --> 00:01:35,129
- Ricky, you know what
those are right?
41
00:01:35,164 --> 00:01:36,130
- It's detergent.
42
00:01:36,165 --> 00:01:38,236
- It's laundry detergent.
43
00:01:39,582 --> 00:01:41,101
[Ricky heaves]
44
00:01:41,135 --> 00:01:43,586
- No don't. if you throw
up, I'm fuckin' leavin'.
45
00:01:43,620 --> 00:01:44,794
- Ricky?
46
00:01:44,828 --> 00:01:45,864
- Do not throw up.
47
00:01:45,898 --> 00:01:46,865
- How long's he been eatin'
Tide Pods?
48
00:01:46,899 --> 00:01:47,900
- I don't know.
49
00:01:49,178 --> 00:01:50,144
Is he gonna talk to,
50
00:01:50,179 --> 00:01:52,250
How long have you been
eatin' those things?
51
00:01:55,425 --> 00:01:57,324
- Oh, fuck, why?
52
00:01:59,843 --> 00:02:01,328
Why would you eat these?
53
00:02:01,362 --> 00:02:03,123
- You're not supposed to!
54
00:02:04,054 --> 00:02:05,849
- Who told you to eat
those fuckin' things?
55
00:02:05,884 --> 00:02:07,092
- Everyone's doin' it
56
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:08,024
- Who's everyone?
57
00:02:08,058 --> 00:02:09,991
- Ricky, you know, who's eatin'
them?
58
00:02:10,026 --> 00:02:11,407
Fuckin' idiots.
59
00:02:11,441 --> 00:02:13,857
You're not supposed to eat them.
60
00:02:13,892 --> 00:02:14,755
- Oh, god.
61
00:02:14,789 --> 00:02:16,481
- They're for washin'
your clothes.
62
00:02:16,515 --> 00:02:18,379
Oh my god.
63
00:02:18,414 --> 00:02:20,278
- We should take him
to the emergency room.
64
00:02:20,312 --> 00:02:21,658
- He's gonna be fine.
65
00:02:22,521 --> 00:02:23,384
[Ricky coughs]
66
00:02:23,419 --> 00:02:25,283
- How many of them did you eat,
Ricky?
67
00:02:26,974 --> 00:02:27,802
- I,
68
00:02:29,079 --> 00:02:30,253
oh god,
69
00:02:30,288 --> 00:02:32,635
I ate part of one earlier
and it didn't seem that bad.
70
00:02:32,669 --> 00:02:35,224
When you put a full one in,
oh fuck.
71
00:02:35,258 --> 00:02:36,846
And they get you high, do they?
72
00:02:37,916 --> 00:02:40,194
- No, man, they make you sick.
73
00:02:40,229 --> 00:02:41,885
- I get that. Holy fuck.
74
00:02:41,920 --> 00:02:44,543
- It's, it's laundry detergent!
75
00:02:44,578 --> 00:02:47,753
- [Julian] Concentrated
laundry detergent.
76
00:02:47,788 --> 00:02:48,961
That's a, that's not
healthy for you, man.
77
00:02:48,996 --> 00:02:51,171
- [Ricky] The fuck away from me.
78
00:02:51,205 --> 00:02:52,482
- Idiot.
79
00:02:52,517 --> 00:02:53,207
- Oh my god, Ricky.
80
00:02:53,242 --> 00:02:54,346
You're gonna be sick as a dog.
81
00:02:54,381 --> 00:02:55,934
- Alright, don't do
everythin' that the people do
82
00:02:55,968 --> 00:02:57,384
on the interweb.
83
00:02:57,418 --> 00:02:59,213
- No, anybody watchin' this,
84
00:02:59,248 --> 00:03:02,975
do not do not do this at
home as they say.
85
00:03:04,114 --> 00:03:05,875
- [Bubbles] Holy fuck,
a space suit!
86
00:03:05,909 --> 00:03:06,738
- [Ricky] Wow.
87
00:03:08,222 --> 00:03:09,913
- [Bubbles] Decent.
88
00:03:09,948 --> 00:03:12,019
I'm gonna go put my space
suit on, boys.
89
00:03:12,053 --> 00:03:14,711
Then lets get this dirty
cocksucker in the air.
90
00:03:15,505 --> 00:03:16,437
[rock music]
91
00:03:16,472 --> 00:03:18,405
Mission Control, this is
commander Bubbles
92
00:03:18,439 --> 00:03:19,544
I'm gettin' an NPS warnin' light
93
00:03:19,578 --> 00:03:22,132
on the link monitor
control subsystems.
94
00:03:22,167 --> 00:03:23,789
I'm requesting reallocation
95
00:03:23,824 --> 00:03:24,618
[indistinct]
96
00:03:24,652 --> 00:03:26,067
to CDS at level six.
97
00:03:26,102 --> 00:03:27,207
Please advise.
98
00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:29,450
- [Julian] Copy that, commander.
99
00:03:29,485 --> 00:03:31,970
Reallocating there
commander Bubbles.
100
00:03:32,004 --> 00:03:33,523
- [Ricky] Breaker, breaker,
come in Earth.
101
00:03:33,558 --> 00:03:35,491
This is rocket ship 27.
102
00:03:36,423 --> 00:03:37,907
Aliens fucked over the
carbonator in engine number
four,
103
00:03:37,941 --> 00:03:41,082
and I'm gonna try to
re-fuck-ulate
it and land on Juniper.
104
00:03:41,117 --> 00:03:43,982
Hopefully, you got some
space weed, over.
105
00:03:44,016 --> 00:03:44,914
[cymbals crash]
106
00:03:44,948 --> 00:03:46,329
- [Bubbles] Ricky, that's
not very good.
107
00:03:46,364 --> 00:03:51,265
Use space words, real ones,
not talkin' about space weed.
108
00:03:52,266 --> 00:03:55,200
- [Ricky] Hey, so,
power rockets are firin'
109
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:56,305
all over the place.
110
00:03:56,339 --> 00:03:59,273
They got lasers. They're,
uh, shootin', and uh...
111
00:03:59,308 --> 00:04:00,757
Bubbles I can't fuckin' do this.
112
00:04:00,792 --> 00:04:01,689
[garbage crashes]
113
00:04:01,724 --> 00:04:02,621
My brain doesn't work
with space talk.
114
00:04:02,656 --> 00:04:03,657
I hate playin' space
115
00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:05,969
- [Randy] Let me do
the talkin', Mr. Lahey.
116
00:04:06,004 --> 00:04:07,695
- [Mr. Lahey] All right, Randy.
117
00:04:07,730 --> 00:04:09,179
- [Randy] Hey, boys!
118
00:04:09,214 --> 00:04:11,561
We got a complaint that
someone's gettin' high and
drunk,
119
00:04:11,596 --> 00:04:13,494
playin' space in the
middle of the street.
120
00:04:13,529 --> 00:04:15,289
- [Ricky] Yeah, us.
121
00:04:15,324 --> 00:04:16,152
Fuckin' stoned right now.
122
00:04:16,186 --> 00:04:17,395
Get a problem with that?
123
00:04:17,429 --> 00:04:18,637
- [Bubbles] You guys wanna
stay and watch?
124
00:04:18,672 --> 00:04:20,294
Do you wanna see a rocket go,
Randy?
125
00:04:20,329 --> 00:04:22,365
- [Randy] Does it really launch,
Bubbles?
126
00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:23,573
- [Bubbles] Does it
really launch?
127
00:04:23,608 --> 00:04:26,058
Does the tin man have a
sheet-metal cock?
128
00:04:26,093 --> 00:04:26,921
Look at this thing!
129
00:04:26,956 --> 00:04:29,545
Goes up about 2,000 feet.
130
00:04:29,579 --> 00:04:31,547
Nose cone blows off.
Chute comes out.
131
00:04:31,581 --> 00:04:33,031
It's fuckin' awesome.
132
00:04:33,065 --> 00:04:35,447
[rock music]
133
00:04:40,694 --> 00:04:42,316
[rocket fires, whistles]
[Bubbles squeals]
134
00:04:42,351 --> 00:04:43,317
[bong gurgles]
135
00:04:43,352 --> 00:04:44,663
- [Bubbles] Decent!
136
00:04:44,698 --> 00:04:46,286
Fuck, did you see that, Ricky?
Julian?
137
00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,633
- [Ricky] Bubs, that
was amazing.
138
00:04:48,667 --> 00:04:50,117
- Julian, I need your fuckin'
help bad
139
00:04:50,151 --> 00:04:51,014
on this one, man.
140
00:04:51,049 --> 00:04:52,153
Do you want me to go to fuckin'
jail?
141
00:04:52,188 --> 00:04:53,396
I'm goin' to go for a long time.
142
00:04:53,431 --> 00:04:55,398
- Listen, I know but that
was your decision, okay?
143
00:04:55,433 --> 00:04:56,951
I don't break the law anymore.
144
00:04:56,986 --> 00:04:58,746
I got shit to do at
the bar and gym.
145
00:04:58,781 --> 00:05:01,024
I got equipment to fix
and maintain.
146
00:05:01,059 --> 00:05:01,991
I got work to do.
147
00:05:02,025 --> 00:05:03,130
- I'm not breakin' the law
anymore either.
148
00:05:03,164 --> 00:05:04,096
I'm fuckin' retired.
149
00:05:04,131 --> 00:05:04,925
- You're not breakin?
150
00:05:04,959 --> 00:05:05,581
Bullshit your not break-
151
00:05:05,615 --> 00:05:06,651
- Get this dealt with.
152
00:05:06,685 --> 00:05:07,410
- [Bubbles] Boys.
- Get rid of the fuckin' a-
153
00:05:07,445 --> 00:05:09,205
- [Bubbles] Ready to play space?
154
00:05:09,239 --> 00:05:11,034
- Play space? What are
you talkin' about?
155
00:05:11,069 --> 00:05:11,897
- Bubs, I can't play
space today.
156
00:05:11,932 --> 00:05:12,829
You have no idea what's goin'
on.
157
00:05:12,864 --> 00:05:14,037
Major fuckin' situation
158
00:05:14,072 --> 00:05:16,039
- Ricky, you told me we were
gonna play space all day.
159
00:05:16,074 --> 00:05:17,489
I got my suit on.
160
00:05:17,524 --> 00:05:18,490
- Yeah? Well, guess what?
161
00:05:18,525 --> 00:05:20,078
We'll have to do it
tomorrow and I'm sorry,
162
00:05:20,112 --> 00:05:21,148
but fuckin' Corey,
163
00:05:21,182 --> 00:05:22,494
Corey fucked up bad.
164
00:05:22,529 --> 00:05:24,600
You know the place I was growin'
dope?
165
00:05:24,634 --> 00:05:26,326
He let fuckin' Lahey and
Randy follow him there.
166
00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:27,499
Now the cops have been around.
167
00:05:27,534 --> 00:05:29,674
They're fuckin' in the
area snoopin' around.
168
00:05:29,708 --> 00:05:30,985
If they find that, man, they
get the evidence against me?
169
00:05:31,020 --> 00:05:32,470
They get a search
warrant for that.
170
00:05:32,504 --> 00:05:33,609
They'll get a search
warrant for my trailer.
171
00:05:33,643 --> 00:05:35,783
My retirement is fuckin'
over, and I'll be in jail
172
00:05:35,818 --> 00:05:37,302
probably for fuckin' ten years.
173
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,269
- And how is that our fuckin'
problem?
174
00:05:39,304 --> 00:05:40,340
- I'm just askin' for your help.
175
00:05:40,374 --> 00:05:41,962
If you come and make this
thing fuckin' blow up,
176
00:05:41,996 --> 00:05:44,309
the tubey thing where all the
dope stuff was, the equipment,
177
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:45,345
then I'll be fine.
178
00:05:45,379 --> 00:05:46,380
I just need help.
179
00:05:46,415 --> 00:05:47,623
- Blow it up? What do
you mean, blow it up?
180
00:05:47,657 --> 00:05:49,625
- We'll just fuckin'-
- Blow it up?
181
00:05:49,659 --> 00:05:51,489
- throw gas and a bunch
of shit and fiery stuff
182
00:05:51,523 --> 00:05:52,490
and blow the fuckin' thing up.
183
00:05:52,524 --> 00:05:53,491
No evidence.
184
00:05:53,525 --> 00:05:55,113
- Ricky,
185
00:05:55,147 --> 00:05:57,046
for Christ sakes,
186
00:05:57,080 --> 00:05:58,703
we're supposed to play space.
187
00:05:58,737 --> 00:05:59,807
Where is it at?
188
00:05:59,842 --> 00:06:02,534
- It's on fuckin' Highway 6.
189
00:06:02,569 --> 00:06:03,846
- Out by the zoo.
190
00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:04,674
- Just like five minutes
passed the zoo
191
00:06:04,709 --> 00:06:06,055
where the big cornfield is.
192
00:06:07,574 --> 00:06:08,851
Come on, buddy, if you
help me with this,
193
00:06:08,885 --> 00:06:10,818
I'll play space all fuckin'
day tomorrow.
194
00:06:10,853 --> 00:06:12,613
- All right, I'll make
you a deal then.
195
00:06:12,648 --> 00:06:13,649
We play space tomorrow.
196
00:06:13,683 --> 00:06:14,512
But if we're goin' up there,
197
00:06:14,546 --> 00:06:16,168
then we get to go to the zoo.
198
00:06:16,203 --> 00:06:17,342
Let's go to the zoo for an hour,
199
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:18,964
so I can feed the
jungle kitties.
200
00:06:18,999 --> 00:06:21,001
- Bubs, I don't think we're
gonna have time for that.
201
00:06:21,035 --> 00:06:22,278
- Well, that's the deal, Ricky.
202
00:06:22,312 --> 00:06:24,142
We're goin' to feed the
jungle kitties when we're done
203
00:06:24,176 --> 00:06:24,936
or I'm not helpin' you.
204
00:06:24,970 --> 00:06:26,006
- Fine.
205
00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:27,939
Then I'll get high and
feed the zonkey, I guess.
206
00:06:29,319 --> 00:06:30,113
[Julian sighs]
207
00:06:30,148 --> 00:06:30,942
- The what?
208
00:06:30,976 --> 00:06:32,253
- The fuckin' zonkey.
209
00:06:32,288 --> 00:06:33,600
The stripy horsey thing.
210
00:06:34,463 --> 00:06:35,291
- Zonkey?
211
00:06:35,325 --> 00:06:36,119
- Yeah, they let me feed him.
212
00:06:36,154 --> 00:06:36,844
It's fuckin' awesome.
213
00:06:36,879 --> 00:06:37,811
- [Julian] All right,
214
00:06:37,845 --> 00:06:39,399
let's go blow this fuckin'
thing up then.
215
00:06:41,435 --> 00:06:42,263
- [Julian] Ricky, you
sure you know where
216
00:06:42,298 --> 00:06:43,299
the fuck we're goin'?
217
00:06:43,333 --> 00:06:45,405
- [Ricky] Yes. Over by
that big tubey thing.
218
00:06:45,439 --> 00:06:48,304
- Ricky, you're slingin'
me in the face with corn.
219
00:06:48,338 --> 00:06:49,685
[Ricky sighs]
- Sorry Bubs.
220
00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:52,929
- [Julian] How much further?
221
00:06:54,241 --> 00:06:56,174
- [Ricky] There it is,
right over fuckin' there
222
00:06:57,658 --> 00:06:59,004
Careful when you come out here,
boys.
223
00:06:59,039 --> 00:07:01,144
If there's any cops we're
gonna have to fuckin' take off.
224
00:07:01,179 --> 00:07:02,422
- [Bubbles] Ricky.
225
00:07:02,456 --> 00:07:03,802
- Ah fuck, I dropped my gun.
226
00:07:05,942 --> 00:07:07,461
- [Julian] Why did you
bring your fuckin' gun?
227
00:07:07,496 --> 00:07:08,324
- Just in case.
228
00:07:08,358 --> 00:07:09,912
- [Julian] Just in case of what?
229
00:07:11,327 --> 00:07:12,880
- Jesus Christ, Ricky
don't be droppin' guns.
230
00:07:12,915 --> 00:07:14,882
You could've fuckin' shot me.
231
00:07:14,917 --> 00:07:17,091
- I don't see any fuckin' cops,
boys.
232
00:07:17,126 --> 00:07:18,921
Let's get this done quick
and get the fuck outta here.
233
00:07:18,955 --> 00:07:20,301
- Fuck.
234
00:07:20,336 --> 00:07:21,441
Ricky?
235
00:07:21,475 --> 00:07:22,994
- [Julian] There's four
fuckin' things there, Rick.
236
00:07:23,028 --> 00:07:24,098
- All right, try to
look invisible.
237
00:07:24,133 --> 00:07:27,274
- [Bubbles] Just wait,
you're all wrapped around-
238
00:07:27,308 --> 00:07:30,519
- [Ricky] Jesus Christ,
for fuck sakes.
239
00:07:30,553 --> 00:07:31,796
Jesus.
240
00:07:31,830 --> 00:07:33,763
- [Bubbles] What are you
talkin' about, the tubey thing?
241
00:07:33,798 --> 00:07:35,385
- The fuckin' tubey
thing right there.
242
00:07:35,420 --> 00:07:37,042
- That great big silo?
243
00:07:37,077 --> 00:07:37,940
- Yeah.
244
00:07:37,974 --> 00:07:38,492
[Julian sighs in disgust]
245
00:07:38,527 --> 00:07:39,735
- Oh my god, Ricky.
246
00:07:39,769 --> 00:07:42,082
I thought you were talkin'
about a little tiny building.
247
00:07:42,116 --> 00:07:43,670
- Bubs, if you're gonna
grow dope for retirement,
248
00:07:43,704 --> 00:07:44,947
you need somethin' fuckin' big.
249
00:07:44,981 --> 00:07:45,568
It was perfect.
250
00:07:45,603 --> 00:07:46,845
Now we gotta blow the-
251
00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:48,985
- You think we're gonna blow
that up with a gallon of gas?
252
00:07:49,020 --> 00:07:50,780
- You said we could blow it up!
253
00:07:50,815 --> 00:07:53,300
- Oh my god. Julian?
254
00:07:53,334 --> 00:07:56,199
- That's about a hundred feet
fuckin' high, you dumbass.
255
00:07:56,234 --> 00:07:57,097
- Not that high.
256
00:07:57,131 --> 00:07:58,926
- You wanna blow it up
with gasoline?
257
00:07:58,961 --> 00:07:59,755
- We gotta blow it up
with somethin', boys,
258
00:07:59,789 --> 00:08:01,239
before the cops get back.
259
00:08:01,273 --> 00:08:03,724
- Ricky, I would've built
an IED or somethin',
260
00:08:03,759 --> 00:08:06,347
but I can't take that fuckin'
thing down
261
00:08:06,382 --> 00:08:07,314
with a gallon of gas, boys.
262
00:08:07,348 --> 00:08:08,798
- It's not that big.
263
00:08:08,833 --> 00:08:11,456
- Ricky, it's fuckin' a
hundred feet tall.
264
00:08:12,733 --> 00:08:15,840
We cannot fuckin' drop that
thing with a gallon of gas.
265
00:08:15,874 --> 00:08:17,324
- Well we've gotta at least
burn the fuck out of it
266
00:08:17,358 --> 00:08:18,394
and get rid of the
evidence, or I'm fucked!
267
00:08:18,428 --> 00:08:20,120
- My god, I mean,
268
00:08:20,154 --> 00:08:22,087
have you ever seen people
fuckin' demolish a building?
269
00:08:22,122 --> 00:08:25,470
It takes layers of
explosives and things.
270
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:26,989
- Boys, I got too much
shit to do today
271
00:08:27,023 --> 00:08:27,817
to take down a fuckin'-
272
00:08:27,852 --> 00:08:29,301
- Well, it's too fuckin'
late now.
273
00:08:29,336 --> 00:08:31,027
We gotta blow the fuckin'
thing up.
274
00:08:32,270 --> 00:08:34,583
- I'm not goin' to fuckin' jail,
Julian.
275
00:08:34,617 --> 00:08:35,894
Fuck that.
276
00:08:35,929 --> 00:08:37,551
- Ricky, you could've
told us this tubey thing
277
00:08:37,586 --> 00:08:39,346
was a hundred-foot fuckin' silo.
278
00:08:39,380 --> 00:08:40,589
- I'm not good at heights
or measurements.
279
00:08:40,623 --> 00:08:42,107
Fuck off.
280
00:08:42,142 --> 00:08:43,557
Bubs, can we do this or what?
281
00:08:45,663 --> 00:08:47,492
- I mean, if we blow the
fuckin' side out of her
282
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:49,218
at the bottom, maybe.
283
00:08:49,252 --> 00:08:50,184
She'd probably topple.
284
00:08:50,219 --> 00:08:51,807
I'll have to do some
calculations
285
00:08:51,841 --> 00:08:55,811
and some center gravity things,
but-
286
00:08:55,845 --> 00:08:57,019
- All right, well, I'll
try to get some more gas
287
00:08:57,053 --> 00:08:58,158
and some propane and shit.
288
00:08:58,192 --> 00:09:00,678
- Yes, we need everythin'
that'll fuckin' blow up.
289
00:09:00,712 --> 00:09:03,473
- Before we blow it up, you
guys gotta check this shit out.
290
00:09:03,508 --> 00:09:04,544
It's fuckin' awesome.
291
00:09:06,615 --> 00:09:07,961
- [Bubbles] Julian,
this is fucked.
292
00:09:07,995 --> 00:09:09,307
- [Julian] Ricky's fucked.
293
00:09:14,484 --> 00:09:15,900
- [Bubbles] Jesus, Ricky.
294
00:09:15,934 --> 00:09:17,591
- I did all this by myself,
me and Cory.
295
00:09:17,626 --> 00:09:19,213
- My god.
296
00:09:19,248 --> 00:09:21,043
I mean, you couldn't
have grown that much dope
297
00:09:21,077 --> 00:09:22,182
in here, though.
298
00:09:22,216 --> 00:09:23,183
- No, Bubs this, this,
299
00:09:23,217 --> 00:09:24,287
I got all the tables
and lights on this one.
300
00:09:24,322 --> 00:09:25,979
There's nine fuckin'
floors here, man.
301
00:09:26,013 --> 00:09:26,704
- Nine floors
302
00:09:26,738 --> 00:09:27,739
- Yeah.
303
00:09:27,774 --> 00:09:28,637
And all the tables and
lights are still there.
304
00:09:28,671 --> 00:09:30,052
My fingerprints, Cory's
fingerprints,
305
00:09:30,086 --> 00:09:31,709
they're are all over the place.
306
00:09:31,743 --> 00:09:32,744
It's gotta come down, man.
307
00:09:32,779 --> 00:09:34,125
If they get a warrant
for this, I am fucked.
308
00:09:34,159 --> 00:09:35,333
Cause then they'll get a
warrant for my trailer,
309
00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:36,576
and they're gonna find
all the fuckin' weed.
310
00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:37,818
My retirement, gone.
311
00:09:37,853 --> 00:09:39,579
- Okay, just,
312
00:09:39,613 --> 00:09:41,166
if we blow the fuckin'
side out of her,
313
00:09:41,201 --> 00:09:42,616
like I said, she'll come down.
314
00:09:42,651 --> 00:09:44,273
Then we can light
the cocksucker.
315
00:09:44,307 --> 00:09:45,170
- All right, Bubs. Thanks, man.
316
00:09:45,205 --> 00:09:47,138
- All right, we'll get her down,
Ricky.
317
00:09:47,172 --> 00:09:48,518
Get the fuckin' thing down.
318
00:09:48,553 --> 00:09:51,073
- All right. I gotta
smoke a fuckin' joint.
319
00:09:51,107 --> 00:09:52,350
- Mix a fuckin' drink.
320
00:09:52,384 --> 00:09:55,733
Ricky, you got some serious
problems with your brain, man.
321
00:10:11,783 --> 00:10:13,509
- 'Kay, boys.
322
00:10:13,543 --> 00:10:17,513
Here, I just need to get
this hooked up.
323
00:10:17,547 --> 00:10:18,997
- Bubs, are you sure about this?
324
00:10:19,032 --> 00:10:19,860
- [Bubbles] What do you mean?
325
00:10:19,895 --> 00:10:21,206
- Shouldn't it be on
the other side.
326
00:10:21,241 --> 00:10:22,760
If you want it to go this way,
327
00:10:22,794 --> 00:10:24,658
you should be fuckin' hittin'
it from the other side.
328
00:10:24,693 --> 00:10:26,349
- No, Ricky, it's like,
329
00:10:26,384 --> 00:10:27,523
it's like choppin' down a tree.
330
00:10:27,557 --> 00:10:29,076
You weaken her here.
331
00:10:29,111 --> 00:10:30,422
You know, like when you're
cuttin' a tree,
332
00:10:30,457 --> 00:10:31,734
and that's the way she goes.
333
00:10:31,769 --> 00:10:33,046
- No, Bubs, when you're
cuttin' down a tree,
334
00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:33,909
you fuckin' hit it from
the other side,
335
00:10:33,943 --> 00:10:34,737
and it goes that way.
336
00:10:34,772 --> 00:10:35,876
The old man taught me that.
337
00:10:35,911 --> 00:10:36,946
I won't forget it 'cause
he said its the same
338
00:10:36,981 --> 00:10:38,499
as when you de-gas a baby.
339
00:10:38,534 --> 00:10:40,156
You fuckin' hit it
from the back.
340
00:10:40,191 --> 00:10:41,399
The tree fuckin'
tries to run away.
341
00:10:41,433 --> 00:10:42,952
It's scared of your axe.
342
00:10:42,987 --> 00:10:44,229
- That doesn't make any sense.
343
00:10:44,264 --> 00:10:46,922
The tree's not scared
of your axe.
344
00:10:46,956 --> 00:10:47,957
Here, this wire should help.
345
00:10:47,992 --> 00:10:49,200
- I hope you know what
the fuck you're doin'.
346
00:10:49,234 --> 00:10:51,236
- If he, Rick, it all
makes sense.
347
00:10:51,271 --> 00:10:53,791
But now, I mean, Bubs, we've
got propane and gasoline
348
00:10:53,825 --> 00:10:54,999
in the mix here.
349
00:10:55,033 --> 00:10:58,312
- Oh, I know what we got,
Julian. I know what we got.
350
00:10:58,347 --> 00:10:59,313
Hey, boys,
351
00:11:00,556 --> 00:11:01,730
from this point on.
352
00:11:04,974 --> 00:11:05,975
'Kay, she's live.
353
00:11:07,011 --> 00:11:08,150
She's live.
354
00:11:08,184 --> 00:11:09,254
- [Ricky] Let's hit this
with the fuckin' gas
355
00:11:09,289 --> 00:11:10,117
and get her down.
356
00:11:10,152 --> 00:11:10,911
- [Bubbles] Yeah.
357
00:11:10,946 --> 00:11:12,464
Where's the gas at?
358
00:11:12,499 --> 00:11:13,707
- [Julian] It's right there.
359
00:11:13,742 --> 00:11:15,329
- Just, you gotta trust me,
Ricky.
360
00:11:15,364 --> 00:11:17,677
I know she's gonna fall
right this way.
361
00:11:17,711 --> 00:11:18,678
- [Ricky] All right, Bubs.
362
00:11:18,712 --> 00:11:19,851
You gotta hurry though.
363
00:11:21,577 --> 00:11:22,716
If it doesn't work,
364
00:11:22,751 --> 00:11:23,683
we'll just get him to rip
it down with his muscles.
365
00:11:23,717 --> 00:11:24,960
- Fuck off, Ricky.
You know what?
366
00:11:24,994 --> 00:11:29,067
If I end up dyin' tryin' to get
your fuckin' weed silo down,
367
00:11:29,102 --> 00:11:30,241
I'm gonna fuckin' kill you.
368
00:11:30,275 --> 00:11:31,898
- [Ricky] How the fuck you
gonna get dead from this?
369
00:11:31,932 --> 00:11:34,521
- [Julian] What you mean?
Look at this shit, Ricky.
370
00:11:34,555 --> 00:11:36,696
- [Ricky] It's pretty
safe. Bubbles did it.
371
00:11:39,043 --> 00:11:40,872
- Always this, don't-
372
00:11:40,907 --> 00:11:41,735
- [Julian] All of it?
373
00:11:41,770 --> 00:11:42,840
- Yeah, you might as well.
374
00:11:42,874 --> 00:11:44,876
I want fuckin' thing to blow,
really.
375
00:11:47,534 --> 00:11:49,501
'Kay, let's get movin'.
376
00:11:49,536 --> 00:11:51,296
Jesus, I'm gonna get
high off the fumes
377
00:11:51,331 --> 00:11:52,539
- Let's fuckin' do this.
378
00:11:53,782 --> 00:11:55,128
Isn't there any way I
can just do this, man.
379
00:11:55,162 --> 00:11:56,681
I can't fuck up the plunger.
380
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:57,509
It's easy.
381
00:11:57,544 --> 00:11:59,304
- Oh, Ricky, but I built it.
382
00:11:59,339 --> 00:12:01,582
So it's kind of my, you know?
383
00:12:01,617 --> 00:12:02,583
I get to do it,
384
00:12:03,619 --> 00:12:04,585
you know?
385
00:12:04,620 --> 00:12:06,035
- [Ricky] Let's just
get this over with boys.
386
00:12:06,070 --> 00:12:06,933
- [Bubbles] 'Kay, is
there anybody,
387
00:12:06,967 --> 00:12:08,762
you don't see anybody around,
do you?
388
00:12:08,797 --> 00:12:10,591
- [Julian] There's
nobody around, Bubs.
389
00:12:10,626 --> 00:12:12,041
- 'Kay, who wants to do
the countdown?
390
00:12:12,076 --> 00:12:13,491
- [Ricky] I'll do it.
391
00:12:13,525 --> 00:12:14,699
- [Bubbles] 'Kay, you
count her down Ricky.
392
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:15,527
- Ready?
393
00:12:15,562 --> 00:12:16,321
- Just do it.
394
00:12:16,356 --> 00:12:17,322
- Ten.
395
00:12:17,357 --> 00:12:18,427
- Nine.
396
00:12:18,461 --> 00:12:19,393
- Eight.
397
00:12:19,428 --> 00:12:20,601
- Six.
398
00:12:20,636 --> 00:12:21,741
- Five.
399
00:12:21,775 --> 00:12:22,707
- Four.
400
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:23,743
- Three.
401
00:12:23,777 --> 00:12:24,744
- Two.
402
00:12:24,778 --> 00:12:26,124
- One.
403
00:12:26,159 --> 00:12:28,748
[muffled bang]
404
00:12:30,853 --> 00:12:31,785
- [Julian] Wow.
405
00:12:31,820 --> 00:12:33,338
- [Bubbles] Fuck, the
propane didn't go.
406
00:12:33,373 --> 00:12:34,788
- [Ricky] I told you,
you should've done it
407
00:12:34,823 --> 00:12:36,169
on the other fuckin' side.
408
00:12:36,203 --> 00:12:38,136
- [Bubbles] No, that's the
way it should have been.
409
00:12:38,171 --> 00:12:39,862
- What difference? It's just-
410
00:12:39,897 --> 00:12:40,794
- Oh, it weakened her, though.
411
00:12:40,829 --> 00:12:43,038
Listen to it creakin'.
412
00:12:43,072 --> 00:12:43,935
- Actually looks like
it's on a bit of an angle.
413
00:12:43,970 --> 00:12:45,247
It might fuckin' come down.
414
00:12:45,281 --> 00:12:46,731
- [Julian] It's not on a
bit of an angle.
415
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:49,630
- [Bubbles] There's barely
anythin' holdin' it up, Julian.
416
00:12:49,665 --> 00:12:51,632
- It's takin' too fuckin' long,
though.
417
00:12:52,495 --> 00:12:53,289
- Let's just leave
418
00:12:53,324 --> 00:12:54,083
- Just, no, Ricky.
419
00:12:54,118 --> 00:12:55,844
Don't get too close to it.
420
00:12:55,878 --> 00:12:58,536
- [Julian] Boys, let's not
go close to the fuckin' silo.
421
00:12:58,570 --> 00:13:00,780
- Ricky, I'm tellin' you.
It's gonna drop.
422
00:13:00,814 --> 00:13:01,608
- Probably just needs
a bit of help.
423
00:13:01,642 --> 00:13:03,161
- Listen to it.
424
00:13:03,196 --> 00:13:04,024
- [Julian] Ricky.
425
00:13:04,059 --> 00:13:05,646
[metal creaks]
426
00:13:05,681 --> 00:13:07,614
- [Bubbles] Ricky.
427
00:13:07,648 --> 00:13:10,099
[metal clanging]
428
00:13:10,134 --> 00:13:12,861
[metal creaking]
429
00:13:15,933 --> 00:13:16,796
[metal clatters]
430
00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:17,797
[creaking intensifies sharply]
431
00:13:17,831 --> 00:13:18,763
- [Julian] Holy shit!
There she goes!
432
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:20,316
- [Ricky] Get outta here!
433
00:13:20,351 --> 00:13:23,492
[creaking intesifies]
434
00:13:23,526 --> 00:13:25,770
[loud crash]
435
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:26,771
- [Bubbles] Fuck.
436
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:28,842
- [Ricky] Oh my fuck,
Jerry's gonna shit!
437
00:13:28,877 --> 00:13:29,843
- Who's Jerry?
438
00:13:29,878 --> 00:13:31,051
- He's the guy that
owns this fuckin' place.
439
00:13:31,086 --> 00:13:33,260
He just bought that fuckin' RV.
440
00:13:33,295 --> 00:13:34,261
- [Julian] Let's get the
fuck outta here.
441
00:13:34,296 --> 00:13:35,745
- Yeah, we gotta get the
fuck outta here.
442
00:13:35,780 --> 00:13:36,816
Let's go to the zoo.
443
00:13:36,850 --> 00:13:37,817
- [Bubbles] Let's go to the zoo.
444
00:13:37,851 --> 00:13:39,128
- [Ricky] Do you know
your way to the zoo
445
00:13:39,163 --> 00:13:40,681
from the fuckin' cornfield?
446
00:13:44,168 --> 00:13:46,204
- [Julian] Hi, I'm Julian.
447
00:13:46,239 --> 00:13:48,275
I've been on my own
since I was six or seven.
448
00:13:48,310 --> 00:13:49,967
That's when I started drinkin'
rum.
449
00:13:50,001 --> 00:13:51,106
My life has been fucked up,
450
00:13:51,140 --> 00:13:52,970
but I'm a survivor.
451
00:13:53,004 --> 00:13:54,661
If you want advice, I'll
give it to you.
452
00:13:54,695 --> 00:13:55,973
If you use it, that's fine.
453
00:13:56,007 --> 00:13:59,079
But if you don't, I
really don't give a fuck.
454
00:13:59,114 --> 00:14:00,184
Hi, I'm Julian.
455
00:14:00,218 --> 00:14:02,980
Welcome to another episode
of Dear Julian, I guess.
456
00:14:04,326 --> 00:14:06,742
All right, first things first,
okay?
457
00:14:06,776 --> 00:14:08,571
The last episode went up.
458
00:14:08,606 --> 00:14:11,505
And, you know, people
were diggin' it, I think,
459
00:14:11,540 --> 00:14:12,334
which was cool.
460
00:14:12,368 --> 00:14:13,266
I read the comments.
461
00:14:13,300 --> 00:14:14,405
The problem is I didn't watch it
462
00:14:14,439 --> 00:14:15,889
before they put it on
the fuckin' site.
463
00:14:15,924 --> 00:14:18,029
which I am now gonna
do from now on.
464
00:14:18,064 --> 00:14:19,859
Because Chipper fucked it up.
465
00:14:19,893 --> 00:14:22,309
I guess people weren't
happy with the editing
466
00:14:22,344 --> 00:14:24,656
and it just kind of dropped
off, which is fucked,
467
00:14:24,691 --> 00:14:25,657
and it's all his fault.
468
00:14:25,692 --> 00:14:27,487
And I'm not happy Chipper.
469
00:14:27,521 --> 00:14:28,488
But I mean, you know,
470
00:14:28,522 --> 00:14:29,799
Chipper's been goin'
through a lot lately.
471
00:14:29,834 --> 00:14:31,353
He just came out of the closet,
472
00:14:31,387 --> 00:14:33,700
which is a really, you know,
473
00:14:33,734 --> 00:14:35,288
it's a pretty cool thing to do,
Chipper.
474
00:14:35,322 --> 00:14:38,118
Especially when you got a wife
and couple kids and stuff.
475
00:14:38,153 --> 00:14:39,982
So, you know, good by you, man.
476
00:14:40,017 --> 00:14:42,329
If that's what you want to
do, and that's how you feel,
477
00:14:42,364 --> 00:14:43,813
cheers to you, man.
478
00:14:43,848 --> 00:14:45,298
And I hope you're havin'
a good little vacation
479
00:14:45,332 --> 00:14:47,783
down in the the Keys right now,
480
00:14:47,817 --> 00:14:50,130
you know, enjoyin'
your new life,
481
00:14:50,165 --> 00:14:50,993
which is cool.
482
00:14:51,028 --> 00:14:51,994
But when you get back,
483
00:14:52,029 --> 00:14:53,720
and you fuck this up again,
484
00:14:53,754 --> 00:14:55,204
you're fired.
485
00:14:55,239 --> 00:14:56,033
Okay.
486
00:14:56,067 --> 00:14:57,931
Let's get into these questions.
487
00:14:57,966 --> 00:14:59,760
Johannes Freeman,
488
00:14:59,795 --> 00:15:01,279
[Julian slurps, ice rattles]
489
00:15:01,314 --> 00:15:02,384
"Dear Julian, I
happened to trip, fall
490
00:15:02,418 --> 00:15:05,111
and make my best friend's
little sister pregnant.
491
00:15:05,145 --> 00:15:06,388
What a predicament.
492
00:15:06,422 --> 00:15:09,356
Please share your insights on
how to smooth things over."
493
00:15:09,391 --> 00:15:10,633
[deep breath, exhales]
494
00:15:10,668 --> 00:15:12,981
Johannes, man, what
the fuck are you doin'?
495
00:15:13,015 --> 00:15:15,949
I mean, you, you don't bang
your best friend's sister.
496
00:15:15,984 --> 00:15:17,226
That's rule number one.
497
00:15:18,641 --> 00:15:20,436
Rule number two,
498
00:15:20,471 --> 00:15:21,851
You gotta man up here, man.
499
00:15:21,886 --> 00:15:23,957
I mean, you banged her,
she's pregnant.
500
00:15:23,992 --> 00:15:26,028
You gotta be a good dad to her.
501
00:15:26,063 --> 00:15:28,030
And I don't know if
you're ever gonna be able
502
00:15:28,065 --> 00:15:29,376
to smooth things over
with your best friend.
503
00:15:29,411 --> 00:15:31,620
I'm not sure what
this guy's like.
504
00:15:31,654 --> 00:15:34,795
But I suggest that you
go to him say, "Hey man."
505
00:15:34,830 --> 00:15:36,970
If you love this chick,
this is what you gotta do.
506
00:15:37,005 --> 00:15:39,076
"Hey man, I love your sister.
507
00:15:39,110 --> 00:15:41,354
I banged her, she's pregnant,
okay?
508
00:15:41,388 --> 00:15:42,251
I'm gonna man up to this.
509
00:15:42,286 --> 00:15:43,735
I'm gonna be a good dad.
510
00:15:43,770 --> 00:15:44,564
Sorry.
511
00:15:44,598 --> 00:15:45,945
If you're pissed off,
512
00:15:45,979 --> 00:15:47,774
give me a shot
anywhere you want."
513
00:15:47,808 --> 00:15:49,534
Let him knock you out.
Give him one good crack.
514
00:15:49,569 --> 00:15:51,191
Let him knock you the fuck out.
515
00:15:51,226 --> 00:15:52,296
He'll be happy.
516
00:15:52,330 --> 00:15:53,987
You'll be happy.
517
00:15:54,022 --> 00:15:56,610
And his sister will, hopefully,
be happy.
518
00:15:56,645 --> 00:15:57,991
Okay? So just man up.
519
00:15:58,992 --> 00:15:59,959
Kayla.
520
00:15:59,993 --> 00:16:02,306
"Hey Julian, I'm so in
love with this guy,
521
00:16:02,340 --> 00:16:03,686
I dated him for a
year and a half
522
00:16:03,721 --> 00:16:06,620
and sadly ended up cheating
on him three months later."
523
00:16:06,655 --> 00:16:08,070
Okay.
524
00:16:08,105 --> 00:16:09,278
"Now he is with someone else
525
00:16:09,313 --> 00:16:10,935
but tellin' me that he
still loves me
526
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,109
and wants to be with me
527
00:16:12,143 --> 00:16:15,353
but using this other chick
to do whatever,
528
00:16:15,388 --> 00:16:17,010
to make money, I guess.
529
00:16:17,045 --> 00:16:18,978
So should I just drop
it and walk away
530
00:16:19,012 --> 00:16:21,118
and believe he's tellin'
me the truth
531
00:16:21,152 --> 00:16:23,430
and lyin' to her?"
532
00:16:23,465 --> 00:16:26,123
Like, okay, well, let's just
back this up a bit, Kayla.
533
00:16:26,157 --> 00:16:27,296
You fucked up.
534
00:16:27,331 --> 00:16:28,263
All right.
535
00:16:28,297 --> 00:16:30,299
You're with this guy. You
cheated on him.
536
00:16:30,334 --> 00:16:31,542
That's fucked.
537
00:16:31,576 --> 00:16:33,993
And now you want to,
538
00:16:34,027 --> 00:16:35,339
you wanna know whether he's,
you know,
539
00:16:35,373 --> 00:16:37,306
"Should I believe that
he's tellin' the truth
540
00:16:37,341 --> 00:16:38,445
and lyin' to her?"
541
00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:40,758
Like, you've got no
right to fuckin'...
542
00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:43,278
You know, say, "Hey, I
don't believe you.
543
00:16:43,312 --> 00:16:44,486
Are you tellin' the truth?"
544
00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:45,521
Like you can't question him.
545
00:16:45,556 --> 00:16:47,144
You fucked him over.
546
00:16:47,178 --> 00:16:48,007
All right?
547
00:16:48,041 --> 00:16:50,043
So my advice to you,
548
00:16:50,078 --> 00:16:51,596
let this guy go.
549
00:16:51,631 --> 00:16:53,046
Just stop fuckin' up
the guy's head.
550
00:16:53,081 --> 00:16:54,013
He's with someone else now.
551
00:16:54,047 --> 00:16:55,807
He's makin' money off her.
552
00:16:55,842 --> 00:16:56,912
You know, he's bangin' her.
553
00:16:56,946 --> 00:16:58,051
He's havin' a good time.
554
00:16:58,086 --> 00:17:00,536
It might grow into a
love-you relationship
555
00:17:00,571 --> 00:17:02,228
after he rips her off a bit.
556
00:17:03,298 --> 00:17:05,162
So yeah, just, just
drop it unless,
557
00:17:05,196 --> 00:17:08,924
I mean, unless you wanna hook
up with your ex-boyfriend
558
00:17:08,958 --> 00:17:11,478
and try to make money
and get in on it as well.
559
00:17:11,513 --> 00:17:13,032
If you can get in on it,
560
00:17:13,066 --> 00:17:14,447
maybe fuck him over
a little bit,
561
00:17:14,481 --> 00:17:15,551
make some cash.
562
00:17:15,586 --> 00:17:17,691
You fucked him over once.
Fuck him over again.
563
00:17:17,726 --> 00:17:19,555
But you're gonna
make some money.
564
00:17:19,590 --> 00:17:21,143
All right, Pepperoni Donut.
565
00:17:22,006 --> 00:17:23,525
"Hey Julian, I have a
business right now
566
00:17:23,559 --> 00:17:26,045
and we mostly take
credit cards as payment."
567
00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:27,667
That fuckin' sucks.
568
00:17:27,701 --> 00:17:29,772
"How can I get into a
good cash-only business,
569
00:17:29,807 --> 00:17:32,051
so I don't have to pay
those goddamn taxes,
570
00:17:32,085 --> 00:17:35,571
and I can collect
pokey," easy there, Rick,
571
00:17:35,606 --> 00:17:37,125
"at the same time."
572
00:17:37,159 --> 00:17:39,058
All right, yeah. You definitely
don't wanna pay taxes.
573
00:17:39,092 --> 00:17:40,921
Payin' taxes in
business is fucked.
574
00:17:40,956 --> 00:17:43,062
I mean, usually the
rule in business,
575
00:17:43,096 --> 00:17:45,512
you pay the government first,
you pay your employees,
576
00:17:45,547 --> 00:17:46,893
then you pay yourself.
577
00:17:46,927 --> 00:17:48,239
Fuck all that shit.
578
00:17:48,274 --> 00:17:50,414
You gotta pay yourself first.
579
00:17:50,448 --> 00:17:52,001
You wanna get into a good
cash business.
580
00:17:52,036 --> 00:17:54,487
You just gotta use your
imagination, man.
581
00:17:54,521 --> 00:17:56,627
I worked at a pizza restaurant,
582
00:17:56,661 --> 00:17:58,077
and, uh,
583
00:17:58,111 --> 00:18:01,563
I found that you can fit
like a dozen beer bottles
584
00:18:01,597 --> 00:18:03,806
in a large pizza box, okay?
585
00:18:03,841 --> 00:18:06,464
So then I'd load up pizzas
boxes with beer, right?
586
00:18:06,499 --> 00:18:08,397
Put 'em in the backseat.
587
00:18:08,432 --> 00:18:10,296
You deliver some pizzas.
People are partyin'.
588
00:18:10,330 --> 00:18:11,952
They want more booze.
589
00:18:11,987 --> 00:18:14,472
"I've got all kinds of
booze. Three bucks a beer."
590
00:18:14,507 --> 00:18:16,578
They usually sell out,
immediately.
591
00:18:16,612 --> 00:18:19,408
Make lots of money,
make a good tip.
592
00:18:19,443 --> 00:18:21,238
And everythin's good.
593
00:18:21,272 --> 00:18:23,032
So do that.
594
00:18:23,067 --> 00:18:24,033
Second bit of advice.
595
00:18:24,068 --> 00:18:25,449
Part two of your question here.
596
00:18:25,483 --> 00:18:28,314
Pokey, don't even get
into the pokey, man, like.
597
00:18:29,211 --> 00:18:31,593
You try to draw pogey,
598
00:18:31,627 --> 00:18:33,353
you're havin' to deal
with the government again.
599
00:18:33,388 --> 00:18:34,527
All right?
600
00:18:34,561 --> 00:18:35,390
That means you gotta go out
601
00:18:35,424 --> 00:18:36,805
and throw resumes out
to everyone.
602
00:18:36,839 --> 00:18:38,186
You gotta pretend like
you're gettin' a job.
603
00:18:38,220 --> 00:18:40,360
You gotta meet with
government people all the time
604
00:18:40,395 --> 00:18:41,948
and fuckin' beg them for money.
605
00:18:41,982 --> 00:18:43,122
Don't be beggin' for money, man.
606
00:18:43,156 --> 00:18:44,847
Just fuck all that shit.
607
00:18:44,882 --> 00:18:46,884
Make money on your own,
all right?
608
00:18:47,781 --> 00:18:48,817
All right, there we go.
609
00:18:48,851 --> 00:18:50,474
That's it for today.
610
00:18:50,508 --> 00:18:52,165
You can take my advice,
611
00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:53,925
but if you don't
want to take it,
612
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:55,824
I really don't give a fuck.
613
00:18:55,858 --> 00:18:56,687
Cheers.
614
00:18:58,827 --> 00:18:59,379
- [Bubbles] What?
615
00:18:59,414 --> 00:19:00,000
- [Julian] Yep.
616
00:19:00,035 --> 00:19:01,312
- [Bubbles] Kitty meat.
617
00:19:01,347 --> 00:19:02,865
- [Julian] Bubs, I don't think
we're allowed back here, man.
618
00:19:02,900 --> 00:19:04,143
- Julian.
619
00:19:04,177 --> 00:19:05,903
Just relax. I want
to get closer.
620
00:19:05,937 --> 00:19:08,250
- Yeah, don't fuckin' blow this.
621
00:19:08,285 --> 00:19:10,459
- Just let's just act
like we work here.
622
00:19:12,012 --> 00:19:12,772
Yeah.
623
00:19:13,669 --> 00:19:15,361
Goin' to feed the
kitties we are.
624
00:19:17,052 --> 00:19:18,191
Kitty feedin' time.
625
00:19:18,226 --> 00:19:20,676
Ricky, I don't think there's a,
626
00:19:20,711 --> 00:19:23,817
I don't think there's a
lock on that gate.
627
00:19:23,852 --> 00:19:25,164
- [Julian] Bubs, don't do that.
628
00:19:25,198 --> 00:19:25,923
- Just relax.
629
00:19:25,957 --> 00:19:26,889
- [Ricky] Bubs, I don't know.
630
00:19:26,924 --> 00:19:28,167
Maybe just hold it
through the fence, Bubs.
631
00:19:28,201 --> 00:19:30,134
You don't need to go in there,
do you?
632
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:31,411
- Oh look, Ricky. It's
just a kitty.
633
00:19:31,446 --> 00:19:32,516
[gate creaks]
634
00:19:32,550 --> 00:19:34,621
- He's just a kitty? He's
more than just a kitty.
635
00:19:34,656 --> 00:19:36,244
[animal coos]
636
00:19:36,278 --> 00:19:37,417
- [Ricky] Be careful, Bubs.
637
00:19:37,452 --> 00:19:38,246
[Bubbles makes kissing noises]
638
00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:40,006
- [Bubbles] Here, come here.
639
00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:41,801
Come here and get a
piece of meat.
640
00:19:42,664 --> 00:19:43,872
Get some meat.
641
00:19:43,906 --> 00:19:45,391
- Bubs, I dunno.
642
00:19:45,425 --> 00:19:46,599
- [Bubbles] Yummy meat.
643
00:19:48,946 --> 00:19:50,258
- Just throw it to him or
somethin', man.
644
00:19:50,292 --> 00:19:51,224
- [Bubbles] Yummy meat.
645
00:19:51,259 --> 00:19:52,398
[cat snarls lowly]
646
00:19:52,432 --> 00:19:54,848
Here's some meat for you.
647
00:19:54,883 --> 00:19:57,713
[Bubbles giggles]
648
00:19:58,576 --> 00:20:01,130
He'll get that meat later.
649
00:20:01,165 --> 00:20:02,373
There's some meat for you.
650
00:20:03,754 --> 00:20:05,618
[Bubbles giggles]
651
00:20:05,652 --> 00:20:07,102
I don't get scared of kitties.
652
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:10,795
I would like you to let
me outta there, though.
653
00:20:10,830 --> 00:20:11,796
- All right, is he happy?
654
00:20:11,831 --> 00:20:13,419
Can we get the fuck outta
here now please?
655
00:20:13,453 --> 00:20:14,696
- How cool was that?
656
00:20:14,730 --> 00:20:16,284
- Awesome.
657
00:20:16,318 --> 00:20:17,630
Look there he goes. He's gettin'
it.
658
00:20:17,664 --> 00:20:18,458
- Oh yeah.
659
00:20:19,839 --> 00:20:23,808
All right, boys, let's go
see the zonkey.
660
00:20:23,843 --> 00:20:25,396
- The zonkey.
661
00:20:25,431 --> 00:20:26,742
[Julian laughs]
- Ricky.
662
00:20:29,262 --> 00:20:30,263
- Zonkey.
663
00:20:30,298 --> 00:20:32,092
- [Bubbles] Yeah, he's
actually right, Julian.
664
00:20:32,127 --> 00:20:33,266
There is a zonkey.
665
00:20:33,301 --> 00:20:34,750
Hey, big fella.
666
00:20:34,785 --> 00:20:36,856
How you doin', though?
No, he doesn't like me.
667
00:20:36,890 --> 00:20:37,753
[lion growls]
668
00:20:37,788 --> 00:20:38,685
- Seems kind of scared of you.
669
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:39,548
He's not scared of me. Look.
670
00:20:39,583 --> 00:20:40,411
- [Julian] Ricky, that thing,
671
00:20:40,446 --> 00:20:42,241
he would totally rip you apart,
man.
672
00:20:42,275 --> 00:20:43,449
- Oh yeah.
673
00:20:43,483 --> 00:20:46,797
I mean, if he was, if he
wanted to hurt Ricky, he could.
674
00:20:46,831 --> 00:20:48,247
You'd never beat that thing,
Ricky.
675
00:20:48,281 --> 00:20:49,558
- If you got behind him.
676
00:20:49,593 --> 00:20:51,457
- If you got, but what
would you do behind him?
677
00:20:51,491 --> 00:20:52,561
- Get on his back.
678
00:20:52,596 --> 00:20:53,562
- [Julian] Get on his back?
679
00:20:53,597 --> 00:20:54,494
- Yeah.
680
00:20:54,529 --> 00:20:55,392
[Julian] And what? Try to
choke him out?
681
00:20:55,426 --> 00:20:56,393
[Bubbles] He'd just go
like that and.
682
00:20:56,427 --> 00:20:57,980
- He's on his back, so
he's goin' like this
683
00:20:58,015 --> 00:20:58,912
and he can't get you
684
00:20:58,947 --> 00:20:59,810
- He'll just roll
around and claw you
685
00:20:59,844 --> 00:21:01,846
and just start gnawin'
at your neck.
686
00:21:01,881 --> 00:21:02,813
- He'd have you, Ricky.
687
00:21:02,847 --> 00:21:04,780
He'd just go like that and
you'd come off,
688
00:21:04,815 --> 00:21:06,506
and he'd just get you
right there.
689
00:21:06,541 --> 00:21:08,370
- Maybe I'll bite him
by the neck.
690
00:21:08,405 --> 00:21:09,371
- Let's go feed the zonkey
691
00:21:09,406 --> 00:21:11,546
and get the fuck back to my bar.
692
00:21:11,580 --> 00:21:13,064
[rooster crows]
693
00:21:13,099 --> 00:21:14,928
- [Ricky] There's a
baby somethin'.
694
00:21:14,963 --> 00:21:16,585
- Oh, it's just an old bunny.
695
00:21:16,620 --> 00:21:17,690
I've seen bunnies.
696
00:21:17,724 --> 00:21:20,555
I can't believe the zonkey
thing is real, Ricky.
697
00:21:20,589 --> 00:21:23,143
- I told you Bubs what do you
think, I was makin' it up?
698
00:21:23,178 --> 00:21:24,455
- [Bubbles] Part zebra,
part donkey. Zonkey.
699
00:21:24,490 --> 00:21:27,044
- I think it's bullshit
if you ask me.
700
00:21:27,078 --> 00:21:28,908
Holy shit, look at the
giant turkeys.
701
00:21:30,047 --> 00:21:30,599
- [Bubbles] What?
702
00:21:30,634 --> 00:21:31,773
- Giant turkeys?
703
00:21:31,807 --> 00:21:35,294
- No, Ricky, those are
ostriches or emus or somethin'.
704
00:21:35,328 --> 00:21:36,467
They're not turkeys.
705
00:21:37,675 --> 00:21:39,781
You couldn't eat the fuckin'
thing on a-
706
00:21:39,815 --> 00:21:40,609
- Why not?
707
00:21:40,644 --> 00:21:41,955
- Thanksgiving dinner.
708
00:21:41,990 --> 00:21:43,405
- You can eat any bird, Bubs.
709
00:21:45,683 --> 00:21:48,134
Check out the little
hang-y things, Bubs.
710
00:21:48,168 --> 00:21:50,550
- [Bubbles] Oh, dirty
little stinky-ass monkeys.
711
00:21:52,414 --> 00:21:54,105
What's that? Where'd you
get the camera?
712
00:21:54,140 --> 00:21:55,141
- Got it at the gift shot.
713
00:21:55,175 --> 00:21:56,556
If I'm gonna be at this
fuckin' zoo all day,
714
00:21:56,591 --> 00:21:58,213
I'm gonna be makin' some money.
715
00:21:59,732 --> 00:22:01,078
Excuse me?
716
00:22:01,112 --> 00:22:02,079
Wanna get a picture of you
717
00:22:02,113 --> 00:22:03,183
and the little monkey there.
718
00:22:03,218 --> 00:22:04,219
- Sure, that would be nice.
719
00:22:04,253 --> 00:22:06,601
- All right, cool, right on,
great. Smile.
720
00:22:06,635 --> 00:22:08,706
[Julian] Look at that. He's
got a little, little boner.
721
00:22:08,741 --> 00:22:10,121
- [Woman] He does.
722
00:22:10,156 --> 00:22:11,019
[Julian] All right.
[camera beeps]
723
00:22:11,053 --> 00:22:11,951
Here you go. That
should be perfect.
724
00:22:11,985 --> 00:22:12,779
- Thank you. Awesome, thank you.
725
00:22:12,814 --> 00:22:13,849
- All right.
726
00:22:13,884 --> 00:22:15,403
- All right, 20 bucks, please.
727
00:22:15,437 --> 00:22:16,265
- Oh?
728
00:22:16,300 --> 00:22:17,128
- 20 bucks.
729
00:22:17,163 --> 00:22:18,337
It costs me money to
do this thing.
730
00:22:18,371 --> 00:22:19,165
It's what I do for a livin'.
731
00:22:19,199 --> 00:22:20,339
- We're goin' to see the zonkey.
732
00:22:20,373 --> 00:22:21,685
- [Julian] All right,
I'll catch up to you guys.
733
00:22:21,719 --> 00:22:22,720
- [Woman] I don't have 20 bucks.
734
00:22:22,755 --> 00:22:24,170
- [Julian] You got some
in your car or anything?
735
00:22:24,204 --> 00:22:25,896
- [Woman] No. Well, yeah,
maybe in my car.
736
00:22:25,930 --> 00:22:27,104
- I know, this is the
deal though.
737
00:22:27,138 --> 00:22:28,174
You come back here,
738
00:22:28,208 --> 00:22:29,762
I'll meet you back here
in five minutes.
739
00:22:29,796 --> 00:22:30,866
You get your picture.
740
00:22:33,421 --> 00:22:34,249
- Julian.
741
00:22:34,283 --> 00:22:34,974
- What?
742
00:22:35,008 --> 00:22:35,871
- Look at this thing.
743
00:22:35,906 --> 00:22:37,908
It's got zebra legs and
a donkey body.
744
00:22:37,942 --> 00:22:39,358
- [Julian] It's a donkey.
It's a zonkey.
745
00:22:39,392 --> 00:22:40,773
It's a zebra. Who gives a fuck?
746
00:22:40,807 --> 00:22:41,670
- [Bubbles] Oh, pardon me.
747
00:22:41,705 --> 00:22:42,671
I thought a zonkey
might impress you,
748
00:22:42,706 --> 00:22:44,535
you fuckin' dick weed.
749
00:22:44,570 --> 00:22:46,157
- Should we go smoke
another joint?
750
00:22:46,192 --> 00:22:47,538
Keep this day goin'. Get drunk.
751
00:22:47,573 --> 00:22:48,401
Julian's bar.
752
00:22:49,333 --> 00:22:50,334
- Let's do it.
753
00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:51,128
- Yeah.
754
00:22:51,162 --> 00:22:52,301
- Made 80 bucks today.
755
00:22:52,336 --> 00:22:53,164
- Let's do it.
756
00:22:54,062 --> 00:22:55,443
See you later, zonkey.
757
00:22:55,477 --> 00:22:56,616
- [Ricky] See you, zonkey.
758
00:22:56,651 --> 00:22:57,824
- [Bubbles] See you, zonkey.
759
00:22:57,859 --> 00:22:59,343
- [Ricky] See you soon.
760
00:22:59,378 --> 00:23:00,689
- I got a new way to end it.
761
00:23:02,001 --> 00:23:03,830
I'm just gonna make the
screen go in.
762
00:23:05,004 --> 00:23:06,695
[Bubbles shushes slowly]
763
00:23:06,730 --> 00:23:07,593
- [Ricky] It's not workin', man.
764
00:23:07,627 --> 00:23:08,456
- [Julian] No.
765
00:23:12,425 --> 00:23:13,219
- [Ricky] Did it work?
766
00:23:13,253 --> 00:23:14,531
- [Bubbles] I think so.
767
00:23:14,565 --> 00:23:17,016
[gentle poignant music]
768
00:23:17,050 --> 00:23:20,399
[seagulls faintly squawk]
769
00:23:20,433 --> 00:23:22,849
[waves lapping]
770
00:23:22,884 --> 00:23:25,714
[boat putt-putts]
771
00:23:27,198 --> 00:23:30,029
[birds squawking faintly]
772
00:23:30,063 --> 00:23:32,894
- [Numerous fish] Oh fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,
773
00:23:32,928 --> 00:23:35,621
Ooh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck,
774
00:23:35,655 --> 00:23:36,415
Jesus Christ!
775
00:23:36,449 --> 00:23:38,106
[fish continue swearing]
776
00:23:38,140 --> 00:23:40,729
[musical swipe]
777
00:23:40,764 --> 00:23:41,558
[wildcat snarls]
778
00:23:41,592 --> 00:23:42,766
[latch closes]
779
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:45,320
- [Whispering voice] Fuck off.
54924
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