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00:00:01,871 --> 00:00:03,742
Warning, the
following program contains
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00:00:03,742 --> 00:00:06,006
really coarse language,
weed, alcohol consumption,
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00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:09,922
smoking and sexual
infer, ferlences.
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00:00:09,922 --> 00:00:13,100
This content may not be
suitable for viewers under 18.
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00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:14,666
To activate parental controls,
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00:00:14,666 --> 00:00:17,278
please press the big go
yourself button
7
00:00:17,278 --> 00:00:18,627
on your remote control.
8
00:00:35,992 --> 00:00:38,603
Go to hell, bitch.
9
00:00:38,603 --> 00:00:39,648
- What is that?
10
00:00:40,649 --> 00:00:42,172
Go to hell, bitch.
11
00:00:42,172 --> 00:00:43,826
Ricky, how long you
been working on this?
12
00:00:43,826 --> 00:00:45,001
I just started.
13
00:00:45,001 --> 00:00:47,482
What are you color, so--
14
00:00:47,482 --> 00:00:49,397
I don't understand.
15
00:00:49,397 --> 00:00:51,703
I'm just trying
to pick a page for--
16
00:00:51,703 --> 00:00:52,878
You heard about this.
17
00:00:52,878 --> 00:00:54,706
- The red is what you just did?
18
00:00:54,706 --> 00:00:58,971
Did you hear about that
fucking huge cunt they found?
19
00:00:58,971 --> 00:01:01,322
Swimming around Nova Scotia?
20
00:01:01,322 --> 00:01:02,149
What the who?
21
00:01:02,149 --> 00:01:03,628
What?
22
00:01:03,628 --> 00:01:05,239
That fucking large bitch.
23
00:01:07,545 --> 00:01:09,852
Noogumi, they named her.
24
00:01:11,288 --> 00:01:12,115
Which I don't know
what that means.
25
00:01:12,115 --> 00:01:13,290
- Ricky?
26
00:01:13,290 --> 00:01:14,900
What are you talkin' about?
27
00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:16,380
You know that you're
talking about a shark?
28
00:01:16,380 --> 00:01:18,165
Yeah, that fucking
big crazy bitch.
29
00:01:18,165 --> 00:01:20,036
She's like 17,
over 17 feet long.
30
00:01:20,036 --> 00:01:22,560
I thought you were
talking about a lady.
31
00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:24,736
No man, I wouldn't
call a lady that.
32
00:01:24,736 --> 00:01:27,261
Well, you said, that big--
33
00:01:27,261 --> 00:01:29,219
Jesus.
34
00:01:29,219 --> 00:01:31,613
- It's a fucking massive
great white shark.
35
00:01:31,613 --> 00:01:34,094
Thirty five hundred
and forty-one pounds.
36
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:35,660
Holy fuck.
37
00:01:35,660 --> 00:01:37,358
Yes, down off the
coast of Nova Scotia.
38
00:01:37,358 --> 00:01:39,142
17 feet long.
39
00:01:39,142 --> 00:01:41,057
They tagged her.
40
00:01:41,057 --> 00:01:42,928
Actually, there's a video
we should put up right now.
41
00:01:44,539 --> 00:01:46,889
See that, that's fucking crazy.
42
00:01:46,889 --> 00:01:48,760
That's a fish!
43
00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:50,284
Imagine what that
fucking thing would do to ya.
44
00:01:50,284 --> 00:01:51,328
It would just, you'd
be standing there,
45
00:01:51,328 --> 00:01:53,025
it'd just go harump.
46
00:01:53,025 --> 00:01:55,898
Or, or it would come up
47
00:01:55,898 --> 00:01:57,769
and hold you right there.
48
00:01:57,769 --> 00:01:59,641
Shark fuck you.
49
00:01:59,641 --> 00:02:02,122
It's fucking head
is almost as big as you, man.
50
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,949
It's a big fucking beast.
51
00:02:03,949 --> 00:02:04,950
You wouldn't wanna be in like,
52
00:02:04,950 --> 00:02:06,474
in a small fishing boat.
53
00:02:06,474 --> 00:02:07,475
I think it's
like 5,000 years old
54
00:02:07,475 --> 00:02:08,302
or something crazy.
55
00:02:08,302 --> 00:02:09,868
It's big.
56
00:02:09,868 --> 00:02:11,740
How old?
57
00:02:11,740 --> 00:02:14,134
5,000, or there
was a five in there anyway.
58
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,135
It's fucking--
59
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:15,787
Fifty.
60
00:02:16,875 --> 00:02:18,964
It's 50 years old, Ricky.
61
00:02:18,964 --> 00:02:21,228
No, it's 5,000
hours then or something.
62
00:02:21,228 --> 00:02:22,664
I thought there was
a 5,000 something.
63
00:02:22,664 --> 00:02:23,882
Who fucking?
64
00:02:23,882 --> 00:02:25,057
5,000 hours.
65
00:02:25,057 --> 00:02:26,929
It's 5,000 years old.
66
00:02:26,929 --> 00:02:28,452
Come on, man.
67
00:02:28,452 --> 00:02:30,280
5,000 hours, he said.
68
00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:33,979
Oh, he gets his fucking
oil changed at 5,000 hours.
69
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,808
Hey, is that an old shark?
70
00:02:36,808 --> 00:02:38,593
Gets his fins changed out.
71
00:02:38,593 --> 00:02:40,203
Is that a young
shark, old shark?
72
00:02:40,203 --> 00:02:42,162
- Fifty?
73
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,033
I think they can live, they
can live pretty old, I think.
74
00:02:44,033 --> 00:02:45,904
They can.
75
00:02:45,904 --> 00:02:48,820
The average lifespan of a
great white shark, 70 years.
76
00:02:48,820 --> 00:02:49,995
Really?
77
00:02:49,995 --> 00:02:51,519
Oldest shark, I believe,
78
00:02:51,519 --> 00:02:54,304
Greenland, caught
this old cocksucker,
79
00:02:54,304 --> 00:02:56,567
512 years old.
80
00:02:56,567 --> 00:02:58,090
Get the fuck out of here.
81
00:02:58,090 --> 00:03:00,441
512 years old,
the shark was, yep.
82
00:03:00,441 --> 00:03:02,007
How could you live that long
83
00:03:02,007 --> 00:03:04,358
and not fuck up
something and die?
84
00:03:04,358 --> 00:03:07,578
I would never live to 500
swimming around the ocean.
85
00:03:07,578 --> 00:03:09,145
You're gonna fuck
up at some point.
86
00:03:09,145 --> 00:03:10,538
Or you just go up to get
some air and
87
00:03:10,538 --> 00:03:12,714
A big fucking trawler
runs you over.
88
00:03:12,714 --> 00:03:14,846
You would think,
89
00:03:14,846 --> 00:03:17,240
odds are you're gonna
fuck up after 500 years.
90
00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:18,676
- He's probably been
hacked up a little bit.
91
00:03:18,676 --> 00:03:20,025
But he probably
learned from it, right?
92
00:03:20,025 --> 00:03:21,026
- But he's not.
93
00:03:21,026 --> 00:03:22,506
You gotta think, Ricky.
94
00:03:22,506 --> 00:03:24,465
There's not a lot that
can happen to him.
95
00:03:24,465 --> 00:03:27,207
You know, there's no, he
doesn't have a natural predator,
96
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,338
I don't believe.
97
00:03:28,338 --> 00:03:30,079
What about people?
98
00:03:30,079 --> 00:03:32,777
Well yeah, he
did good to avoid--
99
00:03:32,777 --> 00:03:36,564
Somehow that guy avoided
shark fin soup, or that girl.
100
00:03:36,564 --> 00:03:39,958
- He did, they did good,
whoever that shark was.
101
00:03:39,958 --> 00:03:40,785
That's what I mean.
102
00:03:40,785 --> 00:03:42,352
He could be 499,
103
00:03:42,352 --> 00:03:44,224
then you go to the
surface one time,
104
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:45,747
and a harpoon goes right
through your fucking back.
105
00:03:45,747 --> 00:03:47,662
So just wait,
he's 500 years old.
106
00:03:47,662 --> 00:03:48,663
512.
107
00:03:48,663 --> 00:03:51,274
- So he was around 1500.
108
00:03:51,274 --> 00:03:52,449
That's fucked up.
109
00:03:52,449 --> 00:03:54,234
He might've known Chris,
110
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:56,061
Christopher Columbus might've
sailed right past him.
111
00:03:56,061 --> 00:03:57,367
Well that's
what I mean, probably did.
112
00:03:57,367 --> 00:03:58,977
He's a little guy.
113
00:03:58,977 --> 00:04:00,544
As a little guy.
114
00:04:00,544 --> 00:04:02,067
Survived the wars,
survived torpedoes.
115
00:04:02,067 --> 00:04:04,069
Find a Nemo size
and Columbus went by,
116
00:04:04,069 --> 00:04:05,506
and he watched them.
117
00:04:05,506 --> 00:04:07,159
What fucking finally did him in?
118
00:04:07,159 --> 00:04:09,466
Oh man, imagine
if you're swimming
119
00:04:09,466 --> 00:04:11,294
in Lunenburg on the weekend
120
00:04:11,294 --> 00:04:12,556
then you see that
story come out.
121
00:04:12,556 --> 00:04:14,166
You're like, what in the fuck?
122
00:04:14,166 --> 00:04:16,038
Why would you be
swimming in Lunenburg,
123
00:04:16,038 --> 00:04:17,779
in the middle of October, Ricky?
124
00:04:17,779 --> 00:04:18,780
- Cold as fuck.
125
00:04:18,780 --> 00:04:19,911
Fucking chilly.
126
00:04:19,911 --> 00:04:21,348
I'll have a wetsuit.
127
00:04:21,348 --> 00:04:23,263
- Well--
128
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,787
I might buy a wetsuit and
start swimming in the winter.
129
00:04:25,787 --> 00:04:28,616
Well, they got a lot of
pubs right on the water.
130
00:04:28,616 --> 00:04:30,052
You go get drunk at a pub,
131
00:04:30,052 --> 00:04:32,272
hop in the fucking drink, right?
132
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:34,796
Ricky, will you
please get a wetsuit
133
00:04:34,796 --> 00:04:36,319
and start swimming
in the winter?
134
00:04:36,319 --> 00:04:38,365
It's gonna be tight fitting too.
135
00:04:38,365 --> 00:04:40,715
I might just wear it
around the house.
136
00:04:40,715 --> 00:04:42,282
No man, don't do it.
137
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:43,848
I'm gonna put some flames on it.
138
00:04:43,848 --> 00:04:47,461
I'm gonna change wetsuit
fuckin' fashion forever.
139
00:04:47,461 --> 00:04:49,245
- That might be a good,
140
00:04:49,245 --> 00:04:50,812
do they have those with fucking
flames and shit on them?
141
00:04:50,812 --> 00:04:52,292
No, but they're gonna.
142
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:53,467
- You can get flames
put on them, no problem.
143
00:04:53,467 --> 00:04:55,295
I think Steven Seagal had one.
144
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:57,166
I might go into
the wetsuit business.
145
00:04:57,166 --> 00:04:59,603
Steven Seagal had a
wetsuit with flames on it.
146
00:04:59,603 --> 00:05:01,431
I'm gonna take the
money we make from popcorn
147
00:05:01,431 --> 00:05:04,478
and invest in the
wetsuit business.
148
00:05:04,478 --> 00:05:05,827
What will we call them?
149
00:05:08,569 --> 00:05:10,135
Ocean Flame Suits.
150
00:05:11,746 --> 00:05:13,008
I like it.
151
00:05:13,008 --> 00:05:14,226
That's a good, yeah.
152
00:05:14,226 --> 00:05:15,880
Ocean Flame Suits.
153
00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:17,969
Ocean Flame Suits.
154
00:05:23,235 --> 00:05:25,368
Doesn't really tell you
what the product is,
155
00:05:25,368 --> 00:05:27,283
but it sure gets your attention.
156
00:05:27,283 --> 00:05:29,329
No, but the flame
kind of looks cool
157
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:30,765
and it keeps you hot.
158
00:05:30,765 --> 00:05:33,245
Maybe too hot,
'cause it's a flame.
159
00:05:33,245 --> 00:05:35,639
Might start sweating in
the ocean in October.
160
00:05:35,639 --> 00:05:39,034
- Letting all the sharks
know your location.
161
00:05:39,034 --> 00:05:41,210
- I bet sharks would be
afraid if they saw one,
162
00:05:41,210 --> 00:05:43,081
'cause they're used
to these plain,
163
00:05:43,081 --> 00:05:45,910
little fucking lame black or
gray wet suits coming at them.
164
00:05:45,910 --> 00:05:48,260
They see something
with flames, like wow.
165
00:05:48,260 --> 00:05:50,393
- Well they think, they
think they're fucking,
166
00:05:50,393 --> 00:05:52,047
a seal or something, right?
167
00:05:52,047 --> 00:05:54,049
No, they're
looking at you going,
168
00:05:54,049 --> 00:05:55,529
what the fuck is that?
169
00:05:55,529 --> 00:05:56,704
Whatever it is, I'm
not touching it.
170
00:05:56,704 --> 00:05:59,533
- Or, they think Steven Seagal.
171
00:05:59,533 --> 00:06:01,056
Don't fuck with him.
172
00:06:01,056 --> 00:06:02,884
He's got a roundhouse kick
173
00:06:02,884 --> 00:06:05,974
that'll fucking knock your
shark teeth right out.
174
00:06:14,548 --> 00:06:15,549
Hit up your boy, J Roc.
175
00:06:15,549 --> 00:06:17,159
Can I walk in, dawg?
176
00:06:17,159 --> 00:06:18,334
- Yeah.
- I thought you were.
177
00:06:18,334 --> 00:06:19,857
Hey what's crackin' y'all?
178
00:06:19,857 --> 00:06:21,598
It's your boy J Roc, you
know what I'm sayin'?
179
00:06:21,598 --> 00:06:23,208
Ya'll bitches got
questions, I got answers.
180
00:06:23,208 --> 00:06:24,296
'Cause it's ask me
fucking anything.
181
00:06:24,296 --> 00:06:25,646
Ohwaaa!
182
00:06:25,646 --> 00:06:27,256
That's why I'm like,
183
00:06:27,256 --> 00:06:28,257
y'all bitches, write
your questions down
184
00:06:28,257 --> 00:06:29,998
on the Internet service,
185
00:06:29,998 --> 00:06:31,826
and if you got the Internet
and you host, right?
186
00:06:31,826 --> 00:06:33,480
And I'll be like, Ima ask
that question back to myself,
187
00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:35,569
and then Ima answer
them shits right quick.
188
00:06:35,569 --> 00:06:37,397
So if y'all bitches has--
189
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:38,876
Can we, can we
actually answer some questions?
190
00:06:38,876 --> 00:06:40,051
I was just getting
to that, dawg.
191
00:06:40,051 --> 00:06:41,966
Oh, sorry man.
192
00:06:41,966 --> 00:06:42,967
First question comes from
this muthafucker right here,
193
00:06:42,967 --> 00:06:43,794
ya know what I mean?
194
00:06:43,794 --> 00:06:44,969
Wild Bill.
195
00:06:44,969 --> 00:06:46,797
He like, I'm kind of white.
196
00:06:46,797 --> 00:06:49,757
First of all, being kind of
white's being like sort of dead
197
00:06:49,757 --> 00:06:50,758
or a bit pregnant.
198
00:06:50,758 --> 00:06:51,933
You know what I mean?
199
00:06:51,933 --> 00:06:52,934
You either all white or you not.
200
00:06:52,934 --> 00:06:53,587
You know what I mean?
201
00:06:53,587 --> 00:06:55,197
Ohwaaa!
202
00:06:55,197 --> 00:06:56,372
I ain't, sounds like
you might be, dawg.
203
00:06:56,372 --> 00:06:57,504
I wanna start in the rap game,
204
00:06:57,504 --> 00:06:58,766
but nobody listen to my shit.
205
00:06:58,766 --> 00:07:00,289
I know it's a hard business.
206
00:07:00,289 --> 00:07:01,856
What can I do to
stop getting beat up
207
00:07:01,856 --> 00:07:03,248
and roll with the big dogs?
208
00:07:03,248 --> 00:07:04,772
First thing you can do, dawg,
209
00:07:04,772 --> 00:07:06,469
is change your own
diaper motherfucker,
210
00:07:06,469 --> 00:07:07,470
'cause it sounds like
someone's being a bit of a baby
211
00:07:07,470 --> 00:07:09,037
up in this muthafucker.
212
00:07:09,037 --> 00:07:10,517
And there ain't no
room for bitches
213
00:07:10,517 --> 00:07:11,692
that are soft like puppy
shit up in this maf.
214
00:07:11,692 --> 00:07:13,215
You know what I'm sayin'?
215
00:07:13,215 --> 00:07:14,738
This question come from
Johnny Fuckin Hobo.
216
00:07:14,738 --> 00:07:16,218
Hey muv'acka.
217
00:07:16,218 --> 00:07:18,742
Where you from, Prague
with your candy?
218
00:07:18,742 --> 00:07:19,743
Listen to this spelling.
219
00:07:19,743 --> 00:07:21,876
M-U-V apostrophe acka.
220
00:07:21,876 --> 00:07:23,660
What up muv'acka.
221
00:07:23,660 --> 00:07:25,575
Where do bitches pronounce
that shit, muv'acka?
222
00:07:25,575 --> 00:07:26,576
You know what I'm saying?
223
00:07:26,576 --> 00:07:27,577
Was that the question?
224
00:07:27,577 --> 00:07:29,100
How to spell muv'acka?
225
00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:29,753
Because you can
spell it like this.
226
00:07:29,753 --> 00:07:30,928
M-A-W-F.
227
00:07:30,928 --> 00:07:32,495
You spell like this, M-A-F-K.
228
00:07:32,495 --> 00:07:34,366
You can spell it like
this, M-A-W-F-U-C-K-A.
229
00:07:34,366 --> 00:07:38,501
You can spell it like this,
M-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-F-S-K.
230
00:07:38,501 --> 00:07:40,634
Meeeeeeefsk, sayin'?
231
00:07:40,634 --> 00:07:42,157
What was the question?
232
00:07:42,157 --> 00:07:43,375
When're you droppin'
your next album,
233
00:07:43,375 --> 00:07:44,768
Johnny Fuckin Hobo be like,
234
00:07:44,768 --> 00:07:46,335
and I'm like,
235
00:07:46,335 --> 00:07:47,902
you starving with my
new record, ain't you?
236
00:07:47,902 --> 00:07:49,469
Get in line, dawg.
237
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,340
A lot of mawfuckers
starvin' with my joint,
238
00:07:51,340 --> 00:07:52,472
you know what I'm sayin'?
239
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,038
But I got the supply up my crib
240
00:07:54,038 --> 00:07:55,736
and that's what
makes me the man.
241
00:07:55,736 --> 00:07:57,215
You know what I'm sayin'?
242
00:07:57,215 --> 00:07:59,043
So Ima wait till
there's a fever pitch.
243
00:07:59,043 --> 00:08:01,045
Mawfuckers knocking on my
door, like where the album at?
244
00:08:01,045 --> 00:08:02,220
Where the album at?
245
00:08:02,220 --> 00:08:03,526
Then I'm like, chum the waters.
246
00:08:03,526 --> 00:08:04,701
You know what I'm sayin'?
247
00:08:04,701 --> 00:08:05,397
Bring the shark circle in.
248
00:08:05,397 --> 00:08:06,050
Ohwaaa!
249
00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:09,140
Next question.
250
00:08:09,140 --> 00:08:10,664
Is it hard to be hard in Canada?
251
00:08:10,664 --> 00:08:13,405
That's from Jesse John Fehr.
252
00:08:13,405 --> 00:08:15,712
Fehr, your last name Fehr?
253
00:08:15,712 --> 00:08:16,887
Bitch you soft.
254
00:08:16,887 --> 00:08:18,759
Holly-Beth Belew.
255
00:08:18,759 --> 00:08:21,501
Hey Holly-Beth, whatchu
do on your weekends?
256
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,459
Ain't none of my business,
you know what I'm sayin'?
257
00:08:23,459 --> 00:08:24,504
Next question.
258
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,418
Amanda Ladig asks,
259
00:08:26,418 --> 00:08:28,464
what's the best part about
having a lil mawfucka?
260
00:08:28,464 --> 00:08:30,248
Well, the best part, you
know what I'm sayin',
261
00:08:30,248 --> 00:08:31,772
is going on Maury Povich
262
00:08:31,772 --> 00:08:33,513
and finding out for a
fizack that it is yours.
263
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:35,732
Next question from Jim McLean.
264
00:08:35,732 --> 00:08:37,647
He be like, what
do you have to say
265
00:08:37,647 --> 00:08:38,996
about the people
stealing your music
266
00:08:38,996 --> 00:08:40,215
through illegal downloading?
267
00:08:40,215 --> 00:08:41,782
Well, I would be a hipacrisette.
268
00:08:41,782 --> 00:08:43,305
Ya know what I'm sayin'?
269
00:08:43,305 --> 00:08:44,872
If I was like, yeah,
bitches can't steal shit
270
00:08:44,872 --> 00:08:47,091
'cause I kinda built my
empire on stealin' shit.
271
00:08:47,091 --> 00:08:48,266
You know what I'm sayin'?
272
00:08:48,266 --> 00:08:50,268
Luggage, liquors from the world.
273
00:08:50,268 --> 00:08:51,269
You know what I'm sayin'?
274
00:08:51,269 --> 00:08:52,793
Glances at titties,
275
00:08:52,793 --> 00:08:54,708
but no one to steal
the occasional glance.
276
00:08:54,708 --> 00:08:57,232
Be like, what up?
277
00:08:57,232 --> 00:08:59,364
Jam my luck balls on them
shits, you know what I'm sayin'?
278
00:08:59,364 --> 00:09:01,105
Seeing with the frames tight.
279
00:09:01,105 --> 00:09:03,064
Don King.
280
00:09:03,064 --> 00:09:05,240
That whack ass
hair boxing bitch?
281
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:07,372
If you were forced to change
your name due to legal issues,
282
00:09:07,372 --> 00:09:08,939
what would you change it to?
283
00:09:08,939 --> 00:09:10,375
That's a easy one, Don.
284
00:09:10,375 --> 00:09:11,202
Yo momma.
285
00:09:12,900 --> 00:09:14,075
How many more of
these mawfuckers
286
00:09:14,075 --> 00:09:15,076
do I have to do right quick?
287
00:09:15,076 --> 00:09:16,599
Ask me fucking anything.
288
00:09:16,599 --> 00:09:18,209
Why don't I ask you
something right quick?
289
00:09:18,209 --> 00:09:19,646
When can I get my
fucking life back?
290
00:09:19,646 --> 00:09:21,299
You gotta finish the, fuck!
291
00:09:22,823 --> 00:09:23,693
What a dick!
292
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:30,265
I'm 'bout to apologize
to y'all sluts right quick.
293
00:09:30,265 --> 00:09:31,745
You know what I'm sayin'?
294
00:09:31,745 --> 00:09:33,311
Apparently I didn't
ampf all your questions.
295
00:09:33,311 --> 00:09:36,010
So Ima amfer them rest
of them shits right now.
296
00:09:36,010 --> 00:09:39,404
I amfered eight, that's
like eight questions, dawg.
297
00:09:39,404 --> 00:09:41,232
That's even more than
like the five W's.
298
00:09:41,232 --> 00:09:42,799
You know what I'm sayin'?
299
00:09:42,799 --> 00:09:44,279
This one from Michael Dambrun.
300
00:09:44,279 --> 00:09:45,976
Where can I get my
hands on some Roc Vodka?
301
00:09:45,976 --> 00:09:47,674
You know what I'm sayin'?
302
00:09:47,674 --> 00:09:48,675
You got to drop by
Sunnyvale, we'll set you up.
303
00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:50,241
Wahh!
304
00:09:50,241 --> 00:09:51,721
Rob C, this is speed
round right here.
305
00:09:51,721 --> 00:09:53,201
Like on a game
show or some shit.
306
00:09:53,201 --> 00:09:55,029
How you keep grounded
given the fame
307
00:09:55,029 --> 00:09:57,597
and maaafks constantly wanting
to do the J Roc autograph?
308
00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:59,642
This bitch spelled
maaafks correctly.
309
00:09:59,642 --> 00:10:00,643
You know what I'm sayin'?
310
00:10:00,643 --> 00:10:03,037
Rob C be like, maaafks.
311
00:10:04,473 --> 00:10:07,084
M with three A's.
312
00:10:07,084 --> 00:10:10,044
If maaafks was the puzzle
on Wheel of Fortune,
313
00:10:10,044 --> 00:10:11,698
and bitch bought an A,
314
00:10:11,698 --> 00:10:13,569
his game would be tight.
315
00:10:13,569 --> 00:10:17,007
Adam be like, when's the Bare
Pimp Project 2 comin' out?
316
00:10:17,007 --> 00:10:18,574
Which hoes are the best?
317
00:10:18,574 --> 00:10:20,707
Adam, technology has
changed so much, dawg,
318
00:10:20,707 --> 00:10:22,622
that you should just
grab your iPhone,
319
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,624
make your own damn movie, get
the fuck out my grill, dawg.
320
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,234
Bigg Monty be like,
321
00:10:26,234 --> 00:10:28,366
you ever thought about
going down to Jamaica
322
00:10:28,366 --> 00:10:30,630
and doing a reggae
album aka Snoop Lion?
323
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:33,328
How about the fuck I stay
the fuck here in Sunnyvale
324
00:10:33,328 --> 00:10:34,503
and let Snoop Lion come to me?
325
00:10:34,503 --> 00:10:35,722
'Cause that's where I'm out.
326
00:10:35,722 --> 00:10:36,897
Ohwaaa!
327
00:10:36,897 --> 00:10:37,593
I'm out like I stole something.
328
00:10:37,593 --> 00:10:38,246
Peace!
329
00:10:51,738 --> 00:10:54,175
Coming to you live where
I will actually attempt
330
00:10:54,175 --> 00:10:56,830
to interview criminals while
a crime is in progress.
331
00:10:56,830 --> 00:10:58,701
Gentlemen, Jackson Parkenstill.
332
00:10:58,701 --> 00:11:01,269
Are you in fact responsible
for the recent crime spree
333
00:11:01,269 --> 00:11:02,662
in Port Cockerton?
334
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:04,272
Look Rusty, we're on the TV.
335
00:11:04,272 --> 00:11:06,013
Hi mom!
336
00:11:06,013 --> 00:11:08,319
I suggest you stop pointing
that contraption at me
337
00:11:08,319 --> 00:11:10,365
before I bite that
gorgeous little nose
338
00:11:10,365 --> 00:11:12,802
right off your fucking face.
339
00:11:14,630 --> 00:11:15,762
It's what
pirates do, King Berbido.
340
00:11:15,762 --> 00:11:16,763
I understand that, Reggie.
341
00:11:16,763 --> 00:11:18,242
But what I'm asking ya,
342
00:11:18,242 --> 00:11:19,722
is what kind of
idiots break the law,
343
00:11:19,722 --> 00:11:21,637
while there's a camera
pointing at them?
344
00:11:21,637 --> 00:11:23,421
I'm embarrassed to be doing
business with you people.
345
00:11:23,421 --> 00:11:25,685
This family has a great
relationship with the police.
346
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,817
I don't need this getting
traced back to me.
347
00:11:27,817 --> 00:11:29,819
- My deepest apologies,
your majesty.
348
00:11:29,819 --> 00:11:31,691
I'll be speaking
to me subordinates.
349
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:34,215
It won't be happening
again, I can assure you.
350
00:11:41,613 --> 00:11:43,964
- What kind of a pirate
captain curtsies?
351
00:11:43,964 --> 00:11:47,097
Jesus Don, how
old is this stuff?
352
00:11:47,968 --> 00:11:49,447
- Hello?
353
00:11:49,447 --> 00:11:51,145
Is that those
three TV piss clowns?
354
00:11:51,145 --> 00:11:53,234
Where in Rasputin's underpants
is Cincinnati Harry?
355
00:11:53,234 --> 00:11:55,236
Just a wrong number, Poppy.
356
00:11:55,236 --> 00:11:56,803
Okay, we'll have to
meet on that one.
357
00:11:56,803 --> 00:11:58,326
All right, okay bye.
358
00:12:00,110 --> 00:12:01,329
Have to meet on that one?
359
00:12:01,329 --> 00:12:03,113
Do you always go meet people
360
00:12:03,113 --> 00:12:04,898
that call the wrong
numbers, Sammy?
361
00:12:04,898 --> 00:12:07,814
- Well it's one of
those female girl types.
362
00:12:07,814 --> 00:12:09,424
It was a woman.
363
00:12:09,424 --> 00:12:10,251
She might know where
Cincinnati Harry is.
364
00:12:10,251 --> 00:12:11,774
Ya never know.
365
00:12:11,774 --> 00:12:12,644
That's why you always
hear people saying,
366
00:12:12,644 --> 00:12:13,167
you never know.
367
00:12:14,995 --> 00:12:17,258
You lied to this family
before and what happened?
368
00:12:17,258 --> 00:12:18,650
- You lopped off six of my toes,
369
00:12:18,650 --> 00:12:20,130
and then you stabbed Uncle Moly,
370
00:12:20,130 --> 00:12:21,915
and kicked him
out of the family.
371
00:12:21,915 --> 00:12:23,481
- And then what did I say
about ever mentioning that name
372
00:12:23,481 --> 00:12:25,614
in this house again?
373
00:12:25,614 --> 00:12:27,224
I, I don't know.
374
00:12:27,224 --> 00:12:29,052
I can't remember the
exact words, Poppy.
375
00:12:29,052 --> 00:12:31,185
'Cause I was trying to
find my toes at the time,
376
00:12:31,185 --> 00:12:32,360
but I, it wasn't great.
377
00:12:33,448 --> 00:12:35,406
You lie to this family again
378
00:12:35,406 --> 00:12:38,105
and I'm lopping off something
a lot bigger than a toe.
379
00:12:39,062 --> 00:12:40,237
Fair enough, Daddy.
380
00:12:40,237 --> 00:12:41,108
Get outta here.
381
00:12:45,547 --> 00:12:47,810
Think he might be dealing
powder again, Stabby?
382
00:12:49,246 --> 00:12:50,552
I'll keep an eye on him.
383
00:12:52,641 --> 00:12:54,251
Jesus, what is going on?
384
00:12:54,251 --> 00:12:56,384
I don't, I don't
feel right Stabby.
385
00:12:56,384 --> 00:12:57,777
Something's not right in me.
386
00:13:00,518 --> 00:13:05,349
Shit man, watch what
you're doing man, seriously.
387
00:13:08,613 --> 00:13:10,702
Look guys, I'm out of this deal.
388
00:13:10,702 --> 00:13:12,226
No more Sammy, the middle man.
389
00:13:12,226 --> 00:13:13,749
If I got caught talking
Uncle Moly, I'm dead.
390
00:13:13,749 --> 00:13:15,490
You're gonna have to
deal with them directly.
391
00:13:15,490 --> 00:13:16,796
No problemo man.
392
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,710
Gimme the numero doozy.
393
00:13:18,710 --> 00:13:20,408
- Look, I like you guys.
394
00:13:20,408 --> 00:13:22,192
Call my house again,
I'll kill you.
395
00:13:24,151 --> 00:13:25,326
Kill me?
396
00:13:25,326 --> 00:13:26,980
- Uncle Moly scares me, please.
397
00:13:26,980 --> 00:13:28,851
Look man, I'll
deal with molehead.
398
00:13:28,851 --> 00:13:32,159
But we gotta get this stuff
off the dock to Funtime, ASAP.
399
00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:38,295
Jumping Jeremiah Sniffles,
what the hell is that?
400
00:13:38,295 --> 00:13:39,122
Stabby!
401
00:13:40,558 --> 00:13:42,299
What's wrong, Poppy?
402
00:13:42,299 --> 00:13:44,214
- I just threw that up, Stabby.
403
00:13:44,214 --> 00:13:45,041
Ugh.
404
00:13:46,173 --> 00:13:47,348
I'm falling apart here.
405
00:13:47,348 --> 00:13:49,263
We gotta find Cincinnati Harry.
406
00:13:49,263 --> 00:13:51,395
- First we gotta find
out what that chunk is.
407
00:13:51,395 --> 00:13:52,570
Looks like a piece
of your heart.
408
00:13:52,570 --> 00:13:53,963
My heart?
409
00:13:53,963 --> 00:13:55,443
Can't be a piece of my heart.
410
00:13:56,879 --> 00:13:59,012
Jesus, there is a little
tube part there, look.
411
00:13:59,012 --> 00:14:00,622
- What the hell is this?
412
00:14:00,622 --> 00:14:02,406
Mend your heart with love.
413
00:14:02,406 --> 00:14:04,278
Son of a Westford snow whore.
414
00:14:04,278 --> 00:14:05,540
Look who it is.
415
00:14:06,367 --> 00:14:07,368
- Stabby, Jesus.
416
00:14:07,368 --> 00:14:08,848
Not the desk, please.
417
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:09,849
That's why I bought
you the torso.
418
00:14:12,242 --> 00:14:13,809
- Hey, what's going on?
419
00:14:13,809 --> 00:14:15,506
Bubble's here in my
shed, with my guitar.
420
00:14:15,506 --> 00:14:18,858
Had a lot of requests
to play some songs.
421
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:21,599
So, I thought I'd teach you guys
422
00:14:21,599 --> 00:14:24,211
how to play "Closer
To The Heart" by Rush.
423
00:14:24,211 --> 00:14:25,821
So I'll just play her once
424
00:14:25,821 --> 00:14:27,388
and then I'll show
you how to do it.
425
00:14:27,388 --> 00:14:28,563
Here we go.
426
00:14:53,109 --> 00:14:55,024
That's the intro right there.
427
00:14:55,024 --> 00:14:56,983
I fucking nailed it too.
428
00:14:56,983 --> 00:14:58,288
If you didn't notice anyway.
429
00:14:58,288 --> 00:14:59,899
So I'll show you how to do it.
430
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:02,902
You start here at
the fifth fret,
431
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,729
where the second dot is.
432
00:15:04,729 --> 00:15:06,209
You got this finger on here,
433
00:15:06,209 --> 00:15:10,300
this second string here,
the B string's open.
434
00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:13,913
Then you got this finger
here on the G-string.
435
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,784
Five open and then six there,
436
00:15:15,784 --> 00:15:17,003
and you just do this.
437
00:15:17,003 --> 00:15:18,700
Watch the old fingers, you go--
438
00:15:20,571 --> 00:15:23,879
Then you put your finger
on the seventh fret there.
439
00:15:23,879 --> 00:15:24,793
So it's--
440
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,971
Then you slide
this one down one.
441
00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:30,668
This is where I fucked it up
442
00:15:30,668 --> 00:15:32,583
and Alex Lifeson showed
me how to fix it.
443
00:15:32,583 --> 00:15:33,758
So it goes--
444
00:15:36,022 --> 00:15:37,197
Then back up.
445
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:40,200
Or sorry, I fucked that up.
446
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:41,505
You go--
447
00:15:47,816 --> 00:15:49,122
Bum bum bum bum.
448
00:15:51,341 --> 00:15:53,343
You go four, then it's--
449
00:15:55,476 --> 00:15:56,651
So it's--
450
00:16:00,742 --> 00:16:02,265
Did you get that?
451
00:16:02,265 --> 00:16:03,310
So you just do that
a bunch of times.
452
00:16:10,926 --> 00:16:13,668
Then you move into the
second part, which is chord.
453
00:16:13,668 --> 00:16:15,670
So it's, it's just like,
454
00:16:15,670 --> 00:16:19,979
you know, this chord,
but the E string's open,
455
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,458
so it's--
456
00:16:24,505 --> 00:16:26,289
You're just going down like
457
00:16:28,509 --> 00:16:29,901
Then this chord's
a little different.
458
00:16:29,901 --> 00:16:32,948
It's here, here and here.
459
00:16:34,906 --> 00:16:35,951
So it's--
460
00:16:39,085 --> 00:16:41,000
And then it's back
to this shape here.
461
00:16:43,089 --> 00:16:44,003
So it goes.
462
00:16:49,312 --> 00:16:51,010
Then it's these two.
463
00:16:55,927 --> 00:16:56,754
So it goes.
464
00:17:03,109 --> 00:17:04,588
Then you do this little,
465
00:17:04,588 --> 00:17:07,200
you do a little pull-off there.
466
00:17:17,819 --> 00:17:19,299
Like that.
467
00:17:19,299 --> 00:17:20,300
Some kinda, I don't
know how to explain it,
468
00:17:20,300 --> 00:17:21,127
but you just go--
469
00:17:35,097 --> 00:17:36,577
And that's the whole
intro right there.
470
00:17:36,577 --> 00:17:38,187
And then it just
goes into chords
471
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:46,065
♪ Must be the ones to start
472
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,718
So I'll just sing the chords.
473
00:17:47,718 --> 00:17:51,722
♪ And the A who holds high G's
474
00:17:51,722 --> 00:17:55,422
♪ Must D the G to A
475
00:17:55,422 --> 00:17:59,078
♪ A the new man G-a-tee
476
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:03,691
♪ G-D-A-G
477
00:18:03,691 --> 00:18:07,782
♪ D-A-G
478
00:18:11,220 --> 00:18:14,702
♪ Reflect it in their art
479
00:18:14,702 --> 00:18:18,358
♪ To sow a new mentality
480
00:18:18,358 --> 00:18:21,665
♪ Closer to the heart
481
00:18:21,665 --> 00:18:24,842
♪ Yeah closer to the heart
482
00:18:24,842 --> 00:18:27,671
Then Neil does this thing
on the ding dongers there.
483
00:18:27,671 --> 00:18:30,109
But if you wanna play
it, you go way up here
484
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:32,111
to the twelfth fret and you go--
485
00:18:33,460 --> 00:18:34,287
No.
486
00:18:35,462 --> 00:18:37,028
Sorry, the fucking tenth fret.
487
00:18:37,028 --> 00:18:38,508
Ten, this one's open and
nuts on the eleventh,
488
00:18:38,508 --> 00:18:39,335
so it goes--
489
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,686
Then you move the whole
thing up here, so it goes--
490
00:18:50,303 --> 00:18:53,001
That's what, that's what Neil
plays on the ding dongers.
491
00:18:53,001 --> 00:18:54,089
But it goes--
492
00:18:59,964 --> 00:19:01,401
And then it comes in heavy.
493
00:19:08,059 --> 00:19:09,583
That's all you really--
494
00:19:09,583 --> 00:19:10,758
Oh yeah, but then
under the solo,
495
00:19:10,758 --> 00:19:12,107
he plays different chords.
496
00:19:14,979 --> 00:19:16,329
♪ Closer to the heart
497
00:19:16,329 --> 00:19:19,941
♪ Yeah closer to the heart
498
00:19:21,812 --> 00:19:23,684
Here's the chords
under the solo.
499
00:19:24,598 --> 00:19:27,818
D-G-C-A
500
00:19:37,959 --> 00:19:39,178
That's how you do that.
501
00:19:40,962 --> 00:19:43,834
Remember when Van Damme said
he kicked Steven Seagal's arse?
502
00:19:43,834 --> 00:19:46,533
He was on Jay Leno
or Johnny Carson,
503
00:19:46,533 --> 00:19:48,187
or one of those shows.
504
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:49,623
How come they never fought?
505
00:19:51,364 --> 00:19:54,149
I think Steven Seagal would
kick the fuck out of him.
506
00:19:54,149 --> 00:19:55,585
I don't know man, Van Damme.
507
00:19:55,585 --> 00:19:57,544
I mean back then, maybe not now.
508
00:19:57,544 --> 00:19:58,545
I don't know.
509
00:19:58,545 --> 00:20:00,373
- He, he said he would.
510
00:20:00,373 --> 00:20:01,287
He was pretty confident
that he could kick his ass,
511
00:20:01,287 --> 00:20:03,202
wasn't he?
512
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,246
Well, I mean back then,
Van Damme was you know,
513
00:20:04,246 --> 00:20:05,421
he was bouncin' around.
514
00:20:05,421 --> 00:20:06,814
And he would say, oh you know,
515
00:20:06,814 --> 00:20:08,424
Ooh, I kicked his arse.
516
00:20:08,424 --> 00:20:11,297
And then Seagal was on
a couple weeks later
517
00:20:11,297 --> 00:20:12,472
and they asked him, you know,
518
00:20:12,472 --> 00:20:14,256
who would, who would win?
519
00:20:14,256 --> 00:20:16,040
And he just straight
faced said, I'd kill him.
520
00:20:17,825 --> 00:20:19,174
We should, we should
fucking talk to those guys,
521
00:20:19,174 --> 00:20:20,393
and get them,
522
00:20:20,393 --> 00:20:21,568
"All right boys,
here's the deal.
523
00:20:21,568 --> 00:20:23,004
You get to train for one year
524
00:20:23,004 --> 00:20:25,789
and then it's a
fucking all-out battle.
525
00:20:25,789 --> 00:20:27,443
A hundred million dollars."
526
00:20:28,966 --> 00:20:31,012
Who's putting up
the money, Ricky?
527
00:20:31,012 --> 00:20:32,970
Yeah, I haven't
figured that part out.
528
00:20:32,970 --> 00:20:37,018
Why doesn't Dana White
get a Jean-Claude Van Damme,
529
00:20:37,018 --> 00:20:40,064
Steven Seagal, fuckin'
blood sport type?
530
00:20:40,064 --> 00:20:41,936
- That would be awesome.
531
00:20:41,936 --> 00:20:44,765
He could make a hundred
million dollars on that.
532
00:20:45,592 --> 00:20:47,071
- Yeah.
533
00:20:47,071 --> 00:20:48,464
Or, or he wouldn't make anything
534
00:20:48,464 --> 00:20:49,944
'cause nobody gives a fuck.
535
00:20:51,032 --> 00:20:52,773
There's the other possibility.
536
00:20:52,773 --> 00:20:54,253
I think I'd pay
20 bucks to see it.
537
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:57,865
Or even Mike Tyson
against Seagal.
538
00:20:57,865 --> 00:21:00,607
A hundred million
divided by Tyson is what?
539
00:21:00,607 --> 00:21:02,652
- Mike Tyson and Seagal?
540
00:21:02,652 --> 00:21:04,132
Mike Tyson would beat
the fuckin' teeth
outta Steven Seagal.
541
00:21:04,132 --> 00:21:05,873
Do you think Seagal
would say that?
542
00:21:05,873 --> 00:21:08,267
If you threw him on fucking
Kimmel or something?
543
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:09,268
Would you beat Tyson?
544
00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:10,356
He'd go, yep.
545
00:21:10,356 --> 00:21:11,531
Kill him.
546
00:21:11,531 --> 00:21:12,706
Mmmm, that's a good point.
547
00:21:12,706 --> 00:21:13,881
Telling you man.
548
00:21:13,881 --> 00:21:14,882
- But Steven Seagal, he's like--
549
00:21:14,882 --> 00:21:16,362
- He doesn't like the--
550
00:21:16,362 --> 00:21:18,233
He's not in good
shape anymore, is he?
551
00:21:18,233 --> 00:21:20,757
- Yeah, but he just fuckin'
uses the other opponent's energy
552
00:21:20,757 --> 00:21:21,628
and just throws him down.
553
00:21:21,628 --> 00:21:24,021
Doesn't get hit.
554
00:21:24,021 --> 00:21:25,545
- I don't know.
555
00:21:25,545 --> 00:21:27,373
Have you seen Mike
Tyson trainin'?
556
00:21:27,373 --> 00:21:28,678
That's what I'm saying,
it'd be a good fight.
557
00:21:28,678 --> 00:21:30,201
I don't think it would be.
558
00:21:30,201 --> 00:21:31,942
No, no, no, I think
he'd kick his ass.
559
00:21:31,942 --> 00:21:34,336
Steven Seagal versus Mike Tyson.
560
00:21:34,336 --> 00:21:36,207
- Oh, Mike Tyson would--
561
00:21:36,207 --> 00:21:38,732
But there's people out
there that would say uh-uh.
562
00:21:38,732 --> 00:21:41,212
No, but Steven Seagal might
use some of his ninja moves
563
00:21:41,212 --> 00:21:43,737
and I don't know,
it's a tough one.
564
00:21:43,737 --> 00:21:45,304
Mike could take to
the ground and pound.
565
00:21:45,304 --> 00:21:47,567
- If Tyson came runnin'
at him with a flurry,
566
00:21:47,567 --> 00:21:48,872
what would Seagal do?
567
00:21:48,872 --> 00:21:50,744
I mean, he is--
568
00:21:50,744 --> 00:21:52,311
Don't know man,
that's what I'm saying.
569
00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:53,790
- Maybe he could go tuk
tuk tuk and block it.
570
00:21:53,790 --> 00:21:55,531
And fire him out of
the ring, I don't know.
571
00:21:56,924 --> 00:21:58,404
You ever work with titanium?
572
00:22:04,148 --> 00:22:04,975
Have ya?
573
00:22:08,718 --> 00:22:10,720
Why there, Ricky?
574
00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:12,548
What way?
575
00:22:12,548 --> 00:22:14,071
Do you think you could build
a toilet out of titanium?
576
00:22:14,071 --> 00:22:15,812
- Oh, you wanna believe I could.
577
00:22:15,812 --> 00:22:17,379
23 million if you can, bud.
578
00:22:19,120 --> 00:22:22,428
- NASA just, NASA just launched
a 23 million dollar toilet
579
00:22:22,428 --> 00:22:24,343
made out of titanium into space.
580
00:22:24,343 --> 00:22:26,301
Yeah, they did.
581
00:22:26,301 --> 00:22:29,391
For some dry runs
at the space station.
582
00:22:30,784 --> 00:22:32,786
- Why are you going "dry runs"?
583
00:22:32,786 --> 00:22:34,831
I don't think
they're very dry, are they?
584
00:22:36,224 --> 00:22:37,356
They don't mean that, Ricky.
585
00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:38,922
Is that what the article said?
586
00:22:38,922 --> 00:22:40,184
- Yeah, I mean.
587
00:22:41,621 --> 00:22:44,667
No, when they said
for a dry run, Ricky,
588
00:22:44,667 --> 00:22:46,060
they meant a test.
589
00:22:46,060 --> 00:22:48,367
Not somebody's got the dry runs.
590
00:22:49,890 --> 00:22:51,718
I thought maybe
when you went to space
591
00:22:51,718 --> 00:22:53,372
and fucked it all your
shitter up, or something.
592
00:22:54,285 --> 00:22:55,286
- Well, it does.
593
00:22:55,286 --> 00:22:56,636
I mean, you can't,
594
00:22:58,028 --> 00:23:00,248
you can't take a
poop in zero gravity,
595
00:23:00,248 --> 00:23:01,467
like a normal person.
596
00:23:02,859 --> 00:23:04,426
You gotta have a soccer
hose on your hole.
597
00:23:07,298 --> 00:23:09,779
But you gotta stop
talking like right at me,
598
00:23:09,779 --> 00:23:11,085
when you're talking
this way, man.
599
00:23:11,085 --> 00:23:14,175
Like I can't handle your face.
600
00:23:29,930 --> 00:23:32,106
Fuck fuck fuck!
42505
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