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Warning.

The following program contains really coarse language, weed,

alcohol consumption, smoking, and sexual inferences.

This content may not be suitable for viewers under 18.

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Remember we were at Madison Square Garden one time,

right out of it?

- Yeah, we were.

- Who was that?

We got on stage with somebody. Who was that?

His other guys.

Fred Durst.

- Linkin Park, man. - Linkin Park.

That's who one I'm thinking about.

Do you know what limp biscuit means?

- What?

It's fucking gross, man.

What is it?

And I'm not feeling that good, I might throw up.

Do it. Make me puke.

A game where a group of guys jack off in a circle,

a cracker is placed in the middle,

the last one to, you know,

onto the fucking thing, has to eat it.

Therefore, it's the limp biscuit

because of the shit that's on it, which is fucking.

I didn't know that.

Do they know that?

It's a circle jerk.

- Yeah, but you've gotta fucking ingest a cracker that's.

- Covered in load. - - Yeah.

As long as you can jerk off

faster than everybody else, you're fine.

Does Fred Durst know this?

Does he know that that's what his band-

- I don't think Fred Durst's alive. Is he?

I don't fucking know. Is he?

He's not.

- I think Fred Durst passed away, didn't he?

That was the guy from Linkin Park.

That's the guy from Linkin Park.

Oh my God. See, I've got my bands all mixed up.

Cause I'm high as kite.

Chester, wasn't he?

Chester?

- I think Chester's the guy that's not with us.

- It Fred Durst!

I, I'm gonna be fucking, I'm gonna feel terrible.

Do I gotta look this up?

Yes.

I'm gonna feel terrible. I'm gonna apologize to Fred Durst.

I think you should, which I saw him yesterday.

It's okay. You know what?

It comes up, the first thing is Fred Durst, a Scientologist.

The next one is, is, is he alive?

So we'll go to, is he alive?

Is he alive?

I thought I saw him, him with Soby's yesterday.

Fred Durst doesn't live around here.

- He's around, man. He's alive.

- He is? - Yes.

- I apologize Mr. Durst. I got you confused.

Born in 1970.

I'm happy you're still with us.

Very happy you're alive, sir. I don't know...

- I'm not happy to find out what the name of the band means.

Like.

I didn't know that.

Anybody else you think is dead that might not be,

that we can look up?

So it was the Linkin Park fella that I'm thinking of?

- Yes. - Yes, man.

- Chester, man.

Oh Jesus. I mean, I knew he, he had passed away,

but I thought that's fella did too.

- I think he had some addiction issues, unfortunately.

- Wow. That's fucking terrible.

Just fucking grabbed by it, right?

Yes.

Fucked.

- It's a horrible thing. People don't realize it's not just,

you know.

I wouldn't know what addiction's like.

- Ricky.

What are you talking about?

He's not addicted to anything really.

- And you're not either, I guess?

No, I'm not.

- What's in that glass?

- It's a drink.

A liquor drink, which you are severely addicted to.

No, I'm not.

- There's a big difference between addicted and having fun.

Ricky, you are addicted to drugs.

I just like to have a good time. I don't know how that.

I don't think he is, man.

Well then you're addicted.

Addicted to fun.

Can you go without smoking dope for,

if I said you can't smoke dope ever again right now,

what would happen?

Well, I could do it, but why would I do it?

- You could not do it. You would turned into a rabid animal.

- Many days. Many days.

Many days what?

I've gone without a drink.

Since when?

- Well, there's been a, you know, a few days.

- Since you were seven.

Yeah, I think. Yeah.

How many days since you were seven years old,

have you not had a fucking drink?

He can count them on his fucking fingers.

Shut the fuck up. A couple days.

I went, I went, you know,

without any dope there last week, for the day.

- A day.

Well, yeah.

Ricky, you two sound like two severely addicted people

right now in the stage that's called.

I could go long as I want, but like I said,

why would you wanna do that?

- No, you couldn't go as long as you want, Ricky.

It's the addiction making you say,

why would I wanna do that?

You know what? You sounded like "Reefer Madness."

You ever see that fucking flick? That's you.

You know, You know how I would be?

I'd be thinking, okay I don't miss dope at all.

But, wow, this is fun, not.

Listen to the words coming out of your mouth.

You think your brain would say, I don't miss dope at all.

But there's some people that do it

because they got to do it.

There's other people that do it because they're having fun.

Right, I'm doing it for fun.

No, they're both doing it because they gotta do it.

Just one of them is completely in fucking denial.

One of them that's wearing sunglasses and fucking hat.

- It's not about being addicted.

It's about do I want to have fun,

or do I want to be lame-o guy?

Lame-o guy that just sits around and doesn't do anything

and has to be straight.

Okay what if I told you you could still, fuck

you're gonna have the best time ever,

but you're not gonna smoke dope?

It wouldn't be as fun, I guarantee you.

See? That's your brain just convincing you, Ricky.

But if I was omission and I told you,

you are gonna have just as much fun,

but you're not allowed to touch dope, what would you say?

How?

- See? That's addiction.

But there's also, well,

we've been up in those fucking jets that time.

Man, that was fun, and he wasn't.

And you were drunk!

You were hammered.

I had a couple drinks in me, man.

You were wasted.

I wasn't really high, I don't think.

Ricky, you were stoned out of your fucking mind.

You could barely get your straps done on your flight suit.

- Well, it's interesting the way you,

you're putting things.

And look who's talking. Look at this.

What is that all about?

No, I'm just having a drink.

Straight fucking vodka.

Yeah, I'm just having a sip.

You drink and smoke dope pretty much every day as well.

I do not.

You do so.

- Not every day.

You take a couple swigs every day.

Every, yes.

- And you smoke a joint, if he says, Let's go.

Yeah, but I don't. If you told me no more liquor.

Okay, but.

I wouldn't drink liquor anymore.

Would you say you have more fun

when you're drinking liquor and smoking dope?

Or when you're lame-o guy?

- I'm never lame-o guy.

I can have fun, just as much fun playing with kitties

and reading a book.

- Then why do you do it?

Just cause it's there and you guys are doing it.

It's called peer pressure.

- Okay.

You guys put peer pressure on me, that's why I do it.

But for you to sit there and take a swig

of straight vodka.

Here, look here.

Okay, let's both put our drinks over here.

No more drinking for the rest of the day.

I can do it no problem. Can you do that?

Yes, I can.

Do it then.

Why would I want to though?

Doesn't make any fucking sense.

- It's chicken flavor Kool-Aid.

That's what that fucking is.

- Look boys, we can put a positive spin on this.

At least we can say we ate healthy today. We ate healthy.

- Lettuce and you know, soup with nothing in it.

Boys, I can't eat this and I'm fucking starving.

Larry, I know you guys are fucking doing this

on purpose too just to piss us off.

My three favorite times of the day.

Breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Not now. This is fucked.

Just eat Ricky. Bye.

- No, you need to get a fuckin' different chef

instead of this skinny onion stick fuck.

It's not my fault, Ricky.

What about fat Charlie was deep fried deliciousness.

You had to let him out early, didn't you?

Then you let it Lip Wang early.

Best fucking Chinese food guy ever we had.

You fucking dicks.

What the fuck did you just say?

You calm down, Larry. This is nothing to do with me.

No, the three of us are fucking pissed.

No.

And we're not gonna take it.

I ate already. I don't have a fucking problem, Larry.

I'm not a chicken or a goddamn tiger or a sea whale.

I can't eat this shit. I need real fucking food.

- Ricky.

- I bet you're eating a fucking delicious cheeseburger,

onion rings or something, aren't you?

Fuck you, Larry.

That's your final warning, boy.

Ricky, calm the fuck down.

- What?

- You're gonna blow our chances

at the early release program.

Ha, early release.

Oh, fuck off Larry.

- Ricky.

- With the jails being so fucking overcrowded these days,

they started a early release program.

They select, you know, low risk individuals

and they put them on a list

and decide who can get out early.

And I thought that would be a fucking

perfect program to put Bubbles in.

But that's probably not gonna fucking happen now.

I'm gonna make quite a sandwich here, Dawn.

First thing I need to do is get my cheeseburger towel out,

cause that protects my pants.

Right?

Napkins don't work as good as a towel, right?

Understandable, goodness.

Nice arrangement, I suppose.

- That looks good. - Looks really good.

Hope the king's good.

I call this place the king.

I make chicken, a chicken double cheeseburger.

I put it, put it in the middle, see?

Oh my.

Like that, you don't need all the buns, you know?

But I like the, I like the crowns.

That's why it's like the king.

Two crowns instead of two heels.

And last but not least,

is you gotta add a few onion rings on top.

Oh my goodness.

And Dawn, I even travel with extra.

Sometimes you don't wanna,

you don't wanna open those up.

So you just put, this is good on the rings a bit.

- The true connoisseur.

Yeah, you just put that in there.

- Oh my.

Check, look at that.

Holy God.

That's a, that's a lot of,

you get different food groups in there.

That is quite the heartbreak

concoction right there.

Beautiful.

- Very tasty, it's good.

This is awesome.

I mean, I'm so proud of all the work

that we've been doing in the trailer park.

You know, you've been doing a lot of good work, Dawn.

- Oh, thank you.

It's been interesting to say the least.

Sometimes, I don't know if I would keep it together

if I didn't have you around right now

with Mr. Lahey in jail.

And you know, I think it's time that,

you know, my big news is to,

to promote ya and give you a raise.

Really?

- Promote you to like assistant trailer park supervisor.

I'll be the supervisor while Mr. Lahey's in jail.

And then you could be the assistant.

And we'll be an unstoppable team, Dawn.

You and me buddy. What do you think?

Randall.

Well, I'm flattered at the opportunity,

and thank you so much.

But I must decline.

- What?

Yeah, there's something I have to do, Randy.

I'm going away for a while.

- Away?

Yes.

For, for how long?

As long as it takes.

I'm embarking on a spiritual journey

to the inner sanctum of my soul.

Well, geez, Dawn,

you can just go to yoga or something right here.

There's yoga place. Like you don't have to go away.

Stay with me. I need you, Dawn.

- Nah, I have to get away from the man made,

materialistic intricacies.

All the curves and phones and...

it's just something I have to do.

My universal imbalance is weighing on me.

Where are you going?

I'm going to see the Sarapo in Peru again.

Yeah.

You've been there before?

Yes, yes. It was a magical journey.

I'll never forget the song they were singing.

What song was that?

Was during an Ayahuasca ceremony.

Oh, that was awesome, Dawn.

- That's what, that's what you learned there?

Yeah, it was quite magnificent too.

Brought me right into myself.

Pass me a fork or something, Dawn.

A fork.

Oh my goodness.

Onion ring poutine right there.

Holy shit.

You got your onion rings, you got your cheese,

- you got your gravy. - - Wow.

- This is healthy stuff for you, you know?

When are you going away, Dawn?

Like seriously?

- Well, I'll probably be leaving immediately.

- What?

- Yeah.

- I thought, I thought we were,

aren't aren't you gonna miss me?

Yes, yes, I will miss you.

Oh, all my beautiful fuck gems.

I will miss my poutine too.

Had some good times.

Could take, could take a while.

Could take a while.

Six months, a year.

Why do you have to do this, Dawn?

It's just a matter of discovery.

You know, it's something my sister,

my beautiful sister Donna used to

encourage me to do as well.

Meditate. Be at one with myself.

Right. Well, you know something?

I really don't like you going away like this, Dawn.

I know, but it's something I have to do, Randy.

It's just one of those things I have to discover.

Well...

Just please remember that,

you know, you're welcome back here.

I want you to come back here soon, okay?

Maybe you should try, have you ever tried the chef salad?

Can't say as I have.

Here, try it just for fucking shits and giggles.

Thanks man.

Not bad.

It's pretty good.

Hey Bubbles, it's me. Alex.

Listen, I'm in a,

I'm in a wine cellar and I don't know,

I had a couple drinks and the room's

sort of spinning a little bit.

But look, I wanted to talk to you.

We're coming to Halifax in July,

and I thought maybe you and Julian

might want to come down to the show.

And if you're not busy, if,

if you want to come up and,

and maybe do guitars for me again, like you did last time,

it'd be awesome.

It'd be really great. Can't wait to see you guys.

It's been a while.

But listen, don't mention anything to Ricky, okay?

Cause well, you know.

I'm not so sure I'd really want to have him there,

but you guys would be more than welcome.

All right? Okay.

So I'll see you, I'll see you this summer.

All right? In Halifax.

Awesome. Take care.

Whoa, take it easy.

Oh my God.

Ah, ahh.

Not many people can say they got a fucking video

like that from Alex Lifeson.

Bubbles can.

It was fucking awesome.

We went down to the metro center.

See the concert, Ricky, of course came along.

It's hard to tell Ricky not to come somewhere.

But I told him, if you're gonna fucking be coming,

you listen to Alex and you don't fuck around.

And what's he do?

First thing he does, he tries to piss right on the tour bus.

Right in the bumper.

Un-fucking-believable.

Julian thankfully, you know,

ripped him away and gave him shit.

- What's the big deal? - When I gotta piss, I piss.

Cause if you hold it, you can affect your boner

and give you 'ladder problems.

That is a known fucking fact.

The next thing I know, Ricky's got his bird out,

stuck right in the garbage can, pissing in the garbage can.

Julian made him sanitize his hands, thank God.

'Cause Ricky normally pees all over his hands.

He can't aim very well.

It's his old man's fault.

If he had taught Ricky how to piss properly

when he was a kid, he wouldn't be pissing all over his hands

and wiping on himself every time.

- Then he there he's got his hands right down,

sanitizing his boner to.

That's the type of shit Alex didn't want going on.

But anyway, we fucking kept moving along there

and all the limos were there.

The limo fellas were saying hi to me.

I got to the side of the stage so I thought I was gonna be

doing guitar tech work.

This weird little fella hands me a great big pair of pants.

Tells me, put them on and get up on the stage.

Right on the fucking stage with, Rush. Me!

Unbelievable.

I think they just wanted me,

but of course Ricky and everybody else has

to fucking push their way up there

and I'm trying to tell him not to.

But he was baked out of his fucking mind.

He wanted to see the lights.

I followed Bubbles on stage

so he wouldn't fucking crash into stuff.

Cause he can't see that well.

Even though he won't admit it.

I mean, I didn't really want to go up.

I was baked outta my mind.

But fucking lights were pretty trippy.

And I look over there,

and there's fucking Randy.

I didn't even know Randy was at the concert.

Next thing I know he is on stage.

Fucking unbelievable.

Randy gets up there and starts rubbing Alex

in different parts and areas.

Molesting him, you know,

rubbing him and reverse twerking him.

I don't know why Bubbles got so mad.

I mean, I just went out on stage,

and gave Alex a little massage.

I mean, I respect him as a musician.

He's a great guitar player. He's got really fast fingers.

It did end up being one of

the best nights my fucking life though,

on stage with Rush.

Unbelievable.

Sorry again, Alex, about Randy and the,

the grabbing things.

Hope you're not mad at me. Please return my emails.

Please?

Shits different these days.

- It's different world.

- Oh, you can't, I mean they're in traffic man.

- Remember when you're,

remember when Ray used to put us in the pickup truck out in

the highway and we used to jump up in the back and let the

wind shoot us to the back, the pickup truck goin' about 140?

Yeah, that was cool.

That was decent.

I can't imagine letting some little fellow

do that these days.

No, man.

We used to ride our bikes 20 miles in the dark

with black clothes on.

On the highway to go fishing.

- Before I quit dope for the rest of my life,

we have to go to this place in China.

It's got a 300 foot fucking glass bottom skywalk

that goes out over this fucking cliff.

Imagine getting baked outta your fucking minds.

It's a glass bottom.

I don't think it would've, it wouldn't scare me.

- No? - Nope.

You're not scared of the high ups?

- Not when I'm on a structurally engineered glass thing,

that could probably take a fucking army tank.

It would give me those stomach moths for sure, fuck.

Just looking down.

No, no. I wouldn't be...

- No, it wouldn't boys.

All you gotta tell yourself is this was engineered

in 2019 by Chinese scientists

and it can probably support a fucking army tank.

And I only weigh fucking, you know, a couple hundred pounds.

There's no way this thing's crashing.

- You know what?

I guarantee you, you smoke a big fat fucking joint.

Where's this place at?

- China.

In China, and you walk out there, you're gonna be fucked.

I'd be more nervous smoking the joint in China

than I would be walking out on the thing.

Cause if they catch you with a joint in China,

they cut your fucking wiener off.

So you wouldn't do it then.

You wouldn't go out there and get stoned and do that?

No, I'd walk out there but

I wouldn't have joint on me cause that.

- When are they cutting your wiener off?

- I'm just saying, I don't know that they actually do that,

but it's not good.

Whatever they do.

Pretty sure dope is not legal in China.

- No, I don't think they're into that shit.

I can't imagine.

You imagine you got caught with weed in North Korea

with the little fella with the funny hair?

He'd fuck you over. You'd be dead, wouldn't you?

You would be fucked. Yes.

He'd probably shoot a fucking missile at you.

He's done that, hasn't he?

He has shot missiles at to execute people.

Set them up against a bank and fire a fucking missile.

- Good way to die or bad way to die, you think?

Terrible.

I mean, it would be over quick.

You'd get incinerated.

But you know, there's a good four seconds.

You see that thing coming at you.

- Four seconds.

Well, he fires it from,

he's not like he's standing here to the wall.

That would suck.

Maybe not four seconds, but he fires it from, you know,

he's a few hundred yards away, so you'd see.

You're alive looking at it going, oh fuck.

Enough to probably piss to probably and shit yourself.

Probably.

But see, there's another example.

If you were baked, you'd probably be like,

I can take this thing.

You wouldn't, but at least you're gonna die positive.

You know what I mean?

This thing's gonna fucking bounce off.

So if you get, if you get caught smoke dope there,

you want it to happen like immediately.

You don't want it to be like two hours later.

It's just like, within the next five minutes please.

That's what I'd ask for.

Can we get this over with while I'm still high?

- I think he looks very giggly.

I think if you could get in his pits and tickle him,

I bet you you could submit him.

Doesn't he look ticklish?

Kim Jong-un.

Yeah, I think if you've had a few drinks with him,

set a few drinks.

He looks very ticklish.

I think if you could get him down, tickle him.

It might change the whole world.

He might be like,

holy fuck I never laughed so hard my life.

I didn't know you could laugh.

I can see you being good friends with him.

Well, I mean, he's a ruthless dictator

that murders people, but.

- Right.

I'm thinking if you could just get a good tickle fight

with him, he might change his ways.

Well maybe you could be the one to do that.

- Dennis Rodman.

I know. If he could do it, you could.

Dennis Rodman hangs out with him.

Totally make him laugh.

- And we met Dennis Rodman. - He's totally normal.

- You can knock that up.

He's totally normal.

Really?

Ricky, Dennis Rodman, no, Ricky.

Remember he had fucking metal fingernails

and he was talking about

living on the moon or something.

He's a bit of an odd bird.

He was nice.

Very nice.

He was tall.

I loved hanging out with him but he's not,

he's pretty fucking bizarre.

He was definitely tall.

I think it's safe to say he's not normal.