All language subtitles for Trailer.Park.Boys.The.SwearNet.Show.S05E04.Episode.4.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-WhatsBeyond_track3_[eng]

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alcohol consumption, smoking,
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Here Jacob, I want
you to be in the-

- What the fuck
are you doing here?

Aren't you supposed
to be at work?

I got sent home.

For what?

Don't fucking tell him you
lost another job, Jacob.

- Ricky.

What?

I just picked Jacob
up at the hospital.

Is he working there?

Are you working with
the hospital now?

No, I was at the, at my
job at the refinery and,

uh, I passed out.

Yeah, he passed out.

And guess what?

You fucking drinking
on the job, Jacob?

No.

He was not drinking, Ricky.

He passed out from
dehydration and exhaustion,

and he needed a fucking
blood transfusion.

Oh, you gotta fucking drink
water, Jacob, you know that?

- Nope. I'm turning
this off, there's that.

Oh, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.

Somebody wants us to
have a little fucking talk-

- Are you shitting me?

So we're talking.

You think I want to
fucking do this right now?

Ricky. We need
to talk about this.

- Jesus.

Have a seat.

It's the best I've done
in a while, for fuck's sake.

Get a drink.

If you want to get a
drink, get a fucking drink.

So do you have to go
back to work, Jacob?

Are you just gonna
hang out here?

The doctor told me I...

- Jesus Christ.

- Need to get some rest.

I'm, like, seriously
sleep deprived.

Ricky. He's sleep
deprived, dehydrated,

fucking exhaustion, and he
needed a blood transfusion.

You probably sleep
deprived because

you don't have
enough fucking money

to pay all the
goddamn bills because

you're not working hard enough.

If you worked harder,
you wouldn't be stressed

and you'd fucking
get more sleep.

See, that's what we have to
have a talk about, because...

- Ricky, how many jobs
do you think Jacob has?

I don't know cause he's
always getting fired.

What are you up to
now? Two or three?

Dude, it's six right now.

Six?

And I didn't get fired
last night, I just got like,

sent home after passing
out. So you can go...

Six jobs, Ricky!

And you're still broke,
like that's how dumb you are.

If I had six jobs,
I'd probably be rich.

If you have six jobs
and you have no money.

You got something fucking
wrong in the head.

- But dude, do you know
how much the bills are?

Like between the food and the
utilities and the rent? Like..

Oh, I know the bills,
the bills come in my name.

I know how much they are.

Can you believe what
you're hearing right now?

Ricky?

I can't even believe.

Do you know how much money

he fucking has to
fork over for bills?

For four people living
in this fucking trailer?

- Including food or no?

Cable. Do you
know how much that is?

- Gotta have it though.

You gotta have it.

It's like one hundred thirty
fucking dollars a month,

'cause you want all those...

- Hundred and fifty,
actually. - What?

- One hundred and fifty.

A hundred and fifty.

It's about 200 for
internet, phone, and cable,

210, 209.

Okay, so it's about 200, 209.

That's not much money.

That's what, 20 hours of work?

Okay, Okay. Then you
get the fucking heat,

to heat this place,
you're on electric heat?

- Not in the summertime.

Well, it's fucking, it's
getting cold out. All right?

Yeah. So...

Yeah, you can't, you've
gotta put the heat on.

- How many hours you
figure you work a week?

Less than 60?

No, no.

It's gotta be more closer
to 80, I think between...

It's 80.

I looked at, I talked to the
doctor and they went through

his stuff. 79 hours he
worked last week, Ricky,

How many did you work?

So if we need another
200 bucks a month for heat,

that's only, what are you
getting paid? Mostly 10 to 15?

- Less than 12.

So you're looking less than
20. An extra 20 hours a month.

Divide that over four weeks.

- On top of 79!

You're talking a hundred
hours a week, Ricky.

No.

That's over two work
weeks for a normal person...

- And then you could
have put, like the food,

that costs a lot of money, man.

What? 30 bucks a day?

Ricky, How many
hours a week do you work?

Ask Julian, he's my boss.

- None.

Right now you're just
playing the fucking,

Space Invaders.

Well, that's work, in a way,
It's like training for some.

But do you see a problem

where one of the people like,

just pretend Jacob's
your roommate at college,

and one of the roommates is
working a hundred hours a week,

and paying all the bills,
and the other roommate's

laying around smoking
dope, playing video games.

Do you see?

Okay, but what about this?

The other roommate, which is me,

used to do that for all the
years that he's, of his age.

So why the fuck should
I still keep having

to do it if he
should be doing it?

Somebody's gotta take over for
someone at some point, right?

So you're just like a,
you're like an emperor now?

- Semi-retired.

I just think I
deserve that after all

the fucking hard work and
years of shit I put in.

And if they're gonna live here,

fucking pretty much rent free.

Rent free?

- It's only rent free
because he pays the rent

and you don't, it's
rent free to you.

Well, no I, there's
been times though,

when he fucking got fired
from how many goddamn jobs,

and he's unemployed
and I gotta go...

Ricky, most of the
time he gets fired,

it's because of you,

showing up drunk,
yelling at him.

You know what? I
don't need this today.

I thought this was
gonna be a fun day,

and now all of a sudden
people are coming on me.

- Coming on you?

Well, you could've, you
could've fucking tried

to pitch in a bit more, man

Sure, what do you want me to do?

- Make some money, to
put them towards bills.

Just like being this, you
gotta be responsible, man,

that's what I'm
trying to fucking say.

So Jacob, I think you
should take this week off.

No, no, no.

He can't take a whole
week off of everything.

Ricky, he
needed a blood transfusion.

Well, that didn't
that fix you up?

Yeah, but the, the oxygen levels

are gonna start
going down again.

I need to get at least
six hours of sleep.

You need fucking oxygen.

So the doctor said eight is
really better, well, sleep.

Sleep. Let the man sleepy
sleep for two hours a night.

You must take
breaks at your jobs.

Like, can't you just have a nap?

- That's not the same...

- Like at a lunch hour?

As having a rest, Ricky.

That's not, I'm not
very good at like...

Einstein said he'd sleep,
you know, 20 minutes here,

20 minutes there.

That's not normal, Ricky.

He was fucking saving the world.

That's not normal. That's
not the average person.

I'm not Einstein.

Well, I've lived
off hardly any sleep.

Got through it.

Yeah, you did, and you're broke.

You're broke and you have no...

Maybe you need to
up the drug intake.

- That would help, but
that cost fucking money.

I can help out with drugs.

- Why don't you go
down to Atlantic Oxygen

and steal some oxygen tanks?

- Julian, you said
you had nothing to do
today, let's do it.

- At least, then when he's
here, he could have pure oxygen.

That's what you do
for your son in law.

Okay, let's get at her.

All right, I just played a
little Back in Black there.

For those of you who don't know,

one of the fucking greatest
rock songs ever written.

Anyway, so this is how it goes.

It's pretty easy
to play, actually.

It's in E, so you're
just playing like an E.

Like an E power chord,
you know, you got E,

B string there, second fret,

D string second fret,
just a power cord.

And then they do like a,
a D without the bottom.

It's just like another
kind of power cord.

D5 kind of, so it's like,

That's your second
cord, and then.

It's just an A, A
power cord. Same as E.

Just move her all
down that way, one.

So you got...

And then he just does
this little thing.

It's just a little pull
off thing, kind of.

So it's third fret, E string,

and then open,

and then third fret B string,

then open.

So...

And then it's the G
string, second fret,

but he gives her a little bend,

and a pull off. So you go,

So it's a...

Like that. So it goes,

Okay, so that's the
first part, pretty easy.

E, D, A, and then

land back on that E chord.

So then the second
time around, he goes,

He goes like this.

It's a B string, second fret,

and then he just walks her
up the, uh, E string there,

starting at the fourth fret.

So it's like,

so 4, 5, 6, 7 is what you're
gonna do, you're gonna go,

So it's B,

B string, second
fret to the E string,

fourth fret, fifth fret,
sixth fret, seventh,

and you do a slide down.

So here's how the
whole thing looks.

That's it.

That's fucking Back
in Black right there,

you know, and then the chorus,

I mean you can figure that out,

it's just basically
three chords.

I think it's A, E, B.

And then it would be...

G... he plays G like that.

Just the, this one and this one.

He doesn't fuck around
with the B note.

Don't need that in rock!

Rock and roll.

So it's just...

Then G, D, A.

That's Back in Black
right there in a nutshell.

I mean, you'll have to
fuck around with it,

obviously, to get it perfected,
but that's the basic,

basic one for that one,
Back in Black.

What else can I show you? AC/DC.

This here's a popular one,

everybody wants to
play, showing off.

Fuck!

Knew that was gonna happen,
can't see her very well.

Anyway, I'll teach you how
to do it, so it's all on the,

it's all on the B string.

Then he's just doing pull
offs, they're called,

between the fourth
and that'll be like,

four and seven,
and five and eight.

So he's just going.

So you just play it once,

pull your finger off to
make the second note.

Same thing here.

That's how he's doing that.

Then he moves up
to the twelfth fret

and there's a pull off
between each of these notes.

He goes,

I might smash my
guitar here today.

I don't know what
the fuck, like...

You put it in fucking wrong!

- Well, at home, they
go in both ways, like...

Come on Julian.

- Just a second.

Would you guys just
give me a second here?

- Fuck, sorry. How
come we don't even have

DVDs or nothing anyway?

- That's the problem.
It ate the fucking tape.

Nice going Ter.

- Well, fuck sorry, man.

Now what are we gonna do?

I don't fucking know. I
got some other, I don't...

I know this fucking story,

I'll just tell 'em
the fucking story!

All right, everybody,
keep eating your popcorn.

Tell a story, make it funny.

I want my fucking
money back, Julian.

Just fucking listen!

Just, fuck. Okay, so.

We're still getting
high at least. Yeah.

Once upon a time there was

a fucking super hot novelist
and she was like this,

this novelist that they
weren't fucking sure

whether she was
a vicious killer.

And this fucking cop was
like, kind of on the case,

but hot for her?

So he descended into
the fucking underground.

Anyway, eventually they brung
her in, brought her into

the jail there, and this is
the best part, like she kind

of was like, sitting there
like, legs crossed, eh?

And then right when you want
it, you know, she goes like,

"Oh yeah, I'm not sure
if I'm the killer."

Oh man, it doesn't
even fucking matter!

Okay, now do you
wanna hear it again?

Yeah, yeah!

Talk about the
lesbian girlfriend.

Oh yeah!

- All right, you got this?
- I gotta go, I'm gonna go...

- Off you go. I got it.

I'll tell the part 2, 3, 4.

Okay, so this is awesome.

So she was a writer, right?

And she was super hot,
but some people were like,

"Oh, maybe, maybe she's got
a lesbian girlfriend, right?"

And then they were like,
"Oh, pass me the pen."

And then she's like,

"Oh, I don't need the pen.
You know what I mean?"

Right?

Yeah.

And then, anyway.

Well, she got busted at the end

because she boiled
a rabbit in the pot,

so that part was
a little bit sad.

- Get to the fucking part, man!

Man, I'm missing
my bush, man! Fuck!

Okay, okay you're right,
you're right, Freddy.

So then, anyway, they,
they run her into the,

in to the fucking jail there,
or the investigation room

or whatever it's fucking called.

And then she's like this, right?

And then they're like,

"So tell us if you done it."

And then she's like,

"Well, what do you think?"

Okay, so here's this
other great story.

So there's like this chick
and she's in a tornado, right?

And then she gets rung up into

like some other planet universe.

And then there's like
this guy who's a lion,

who's like kind of
scared and shit.

Anyway, they follow
this golden road and,

and it's a long
story, so get cozy.

Do you guys need more butter?

- No, we want our bush!

Okay, well this
one's more for kids,

so let me think of
another one, like.

Okay! Well anyway, there's
this one story, right?

There's this fucking family,
family of country folks, right?

And they're driving
their truck and suddenly

they start hearing, like,

Right? And shit's falling
all over the place,

and they're like, What is it?

And then they're
like, I don't know.

And that happens again and
again, and then eventually these

fucking like worm eating thing
like, comes outta the ground

and it's like, it's like, oh!

And then every time they
feel a tremor, they're like,

oh, there's fucking giant worms

eating houses and
fucking killing people.

Anyway, eventually they fight
it off and choke it to death.

Yeah, Credits roll.

Right on!

Yeah, and everyone lived
happily ever after.

Well, except for the rabbit
got murdered, but you know.

- Boys!

Jesus Christ.

The fuck are you,

what are you doing?

There's nothing even
on the fucking...

What do you mean?

What are you doing, man?

It's just.

How much shit did you put
in the fucking butter?

How much shit did you
put in the butter?

Huh?

Just the perfect amount.

Look at these guys!

Pussies.

Pussies.

It's lights out.

Fuck off!

Are you staying here
and watching this or,

what are you doing, Ter?

What the fuck? It's
lights out, get up!

- Hey, Luwanda.

- What?

I'm going to bed, I don't
know what happened here,

but you should just
leave them there.

You guys are
working us too hard,

everyone's fucking exhausted.

- They're, they're gonna
be sleeping all night.

Do whatever you want
though. I don't give a fuck,

I'm going to bed.

Oh Jesus.

They're baked outta their minds!

No way. Really?

How'd that happen?

Oh my god.

Weird.

Well, I'm gonna have
to confiscate this.

So, uh, yeah.

So weird that happened.

Real mystery.

Have a good one, yo!

Yo, yo, yo.

Total mystery.

Look, Randy.

Throng of humanity, Randy.

Song of Humanity, Mr. Lahey?

- The throng, the throng
of humanity, Randy.

It's getting foggy, bud.

It's getting really
foggy, Mr. Lahey.

- We'd better head back.

Maybe we should just wait
here and wait 'til tomorrow.

Randy, you have a lot to
do today, don't you bud?

But Mr. Lahey, the fog,

I don't want to go
on the boat again.

- It'll be okay,
it'll be smooth,

I'll go in reverse and
it'll just be smooth.

You want to see people?

- No, it's all right...

Come on, Randy.

My stomach's just
starting to set off.

Randy.

They ate my burger,

they wouldn't serve me in
the freaking restaurant.

- Let's go home, Randy.

Somebody's stealing
our boat, Mr. Lahey!

- Uh oh.

What the frick you doing?

- When you buy a
boat, Mr. Lahey,

you gotta pay for it
before you take it.

What a pile of shit!

Come on, Randy.

You got some lawns to
do. Let's get home, bud.

Okay, Mr. Lahey.

- Wobster McPobster
how's a little lobster?

Frick's sake, Mr. Lahey

Come on, Randy.

Well, he didn't even stop.

Oh, oh, oh, oh!

Hey, hi bud.

- How you doing?

Couldn't give us a lift
into town, could you?

Yeah, sure.

Really?

- Yeah, hop in.

Fat boy goes in the back.

- What?

Fat boy in the back.

Fat boy in the back, Randy.

- What?

This is horse cock!

All right, let's go!

For frick's sake.

Can't get this horse
cock... come on!

Rat balls!

I told you it
was all fricked up!

- There's a few
little, fucking little,

little hiccups, Randy.
That's all it fucking was.

We had a wonderful fucking time!

You gotta owe me that!

- All right, everybody!

Well today, it's
time, right now,

for the Randy's Kitchen!

And I made something very,
very special for you guys.

I made a spooky burger
called the Brain Burger

for hell, oh, for Halloween.

We're not gonna do
your spooky spocken

shit burger for
Halloween, Randy!

Yes, we are, Mr. Lahey!

No we're not! - Yes we are!

No we're not! - We are...

We are fucking not!

- It's Randy's kitchen,
it's very important!

We are not gonna fucking
do your stupid, fucking..

Mr. Lahey!

- Fucking happy
Halloween fucking show!

- Mr. Lahey, you're ruining it!

Fucking brain burgers! Shit
burgers, that's what they are.

- It's a cheeseburger...

- Fucking shit burgers!

- With spaghetti on top, Mr.
- Lahey, to look like brains.

You remember the haunted
houses when you're a kid,

and they blindfold
you and put your hands

in spaghetti like brains?

And I made a perfect burger

and you messed it
all up. Mr. Lahey!

Frick sakes.

You know I hate Halloween
so much, don't you, bud?

No one hates Halloween.

I hate Halloween, Randy!

'Cause of what happened
back in 1797...

I got corn hauled by fucking...

Fuck.

And
Lahey, he was a cop back then

it was his car, he ran out.

All he wanted was
take Julian's liquor,

because Julian was drinking
big time back then,

and Julian fought him for it

and liquor ended up
getting spilled all

over Lahey and his uniform.

He finally got the liquor,
got back to his car,

and was trying to get his
car unstuck from the trailer,

and reverse, and liquor
spilled all over his crotch.

Next thing you know,

George Green shows up and
he was Lahey's partner.

He's the stupidest cop there is.

And thought Lahey was
drunk, pissed himself.

And it did look like he was
drunk and pissed himself.

But he wasn't drunk, and I
don't think he even pissed

himself at all.

So it was a misunderstanding.

Started saying,

"Now listen George, this
isn't what it looks like."

And George told
him he was drunk.

And as they started arguing,
all that did was make Lahey

look more drunk and crazy than
he actually was back then.

And next thing
Lahey's under arrest,

and it was our fault.

Came down two choices and
Lahey, well, he resigned.

I just can't believe
that Julian and Bubbles,

they ruined Mr. Lahey's life.

He lost his career,
he lost his marriage,

went down the tubes, and
uh, he lost his mind.

Now you see why I fucking
hate Halloween so much, Randy?

Can't we just enjoy
it, for frick's sakes?

Yeah, we can fucking
enjoy it, Randy.

The only fucking way I'm
gonna fucking enjoy Halloween,

and we put those three fucking
weasel shit

that's sniffing their

fucking out all over
the fucking park, Randy.

We're gonna set up
some boobie traps,

we're gonna put some trip wires,

we're gonna take those fucking

talentless little shit
bags, fucking shit,

and we're gonna put them
in a fucking

And I'm gonna make this
great freaking' burger!

A brain burgers, is
what I'm gonna make.

I didn't even get a chance

to do it, for frick's sake!

I'm telling you what Randy.

Look Randy, look.
Just wait. Look.

Labia and the genitals.

Next show, next, Randy's show.

Randy's gonna present the
super bloody burger. Okay?

Okay, Mr. Lahey.

Happy Halloween everybody.

Thanks for tuning in to the
Jim Lahey show, and Randy!

You know what? I'm
gonna go out this weekend

and I'm gonna make some
money just to help out.

I just, I just
fucking got Jacob fucking,

20 hours less work a week.

- I, I didn't know you
were this fucked up man.

So anyway, I'll go steal you
some oxygen, I'll go fucking...

I'm gonna toast...

I'm gonna toast as well.

May as well drink, man.

- I'm gonna make some money
this week. I'm gonna contribute.

- That's straight vodka,
don't forget, Jacob.

Okay, so..

I'm just gonna
take a couple ounces.

You can go back to Trinity,

say everything's cool with them.

Ease up on Ricky, he's
gonna help out, Right?

- That was a fucking good match

That was fun. That was fun.

- That was a good match.

Fucking goddamn
papaya. Don't even...

So Ricky, you just,

here's something that I
just want to point out.

Yes?

Jacob just beat
you at Brain Game.

Well, let's go outside.

- You're always talking
about how dumb Jacob is,

he just beat you.

I never said, well.

- Okay.

All right.

That's it.

- That's, Look,

I'm happy to end it right
there on a high note.

I got nothing else to say.

I need to go bank a few
of those hours of sleep.

- Yeah, go get some sleep Jacob.

Actually Jacob, I thought
of something we could

probably use your help
with this afternoon.

Okay, after we get you some
oxygen, which will help ya, so.

No, he's taking the day
off, steal him some oxygen to

get his oxygen levels up,
and then he gets to relax

and watch a movie.

- That should start tomorrow...

Let me catch a few winks.

There might be some later
on tonight, so sleep up.

That went well.

You guys gotta let up
on him or he's gonna die.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

Fuck off.