Original subtitles

[Motorcycle Approaching]

Ohh! Ha!

[ Laughing]

[ Laughing]

[Groaning]

♪♪ [Country]

♪ My engine puffin' steam ♪

♪ And I was grindin' out your heart too fast ♪

♪ I was burnin' down the rails ♪

♪ To keep the way♪♪

♪♪ [Radio Station Changing, Country Western]

♪ Ah, cat up the hill Tearin' down, dress right ♪

♪ A man after my own heart♪♪

[Radio Station Changing]

[Announcer] Winds, decreasing tonight, becoming easterly tomorrow.

[Radio Station Changing] ♪ Look how far we've come ♪

♪ Look how far ♪

♪ A car A car ♪

♪ My kingdom for a car♪♪

[Station Changing]

[Announcer] Start with Kraft macaroni and cheese dinner.

[Station Changing] ♪ He had the blood ♪

♪ And there never was a horse like the Tennessee stud♪♪

[Man] Oh, man. [Radio Clicks Off]

[Man Singing Off-key] ♪ Santa called his elves together ♪

♪ To soup up his old sleigh ♪

♪ So Rudolph and the other reindeer ♪

♪ Could rest on Christmas Day ♪

♪ He's got a million miles to travel ♪

♪ And he'll do it in one day ♪

♪ Oh, that's because old Santa Claus ♪

♪ Has a souped-up Santa sleigh ♪♪

♪♪ [Humming]

♪♪ [ Humming]

[ Urinating]

[Man Moaning]

[Muttering]

[Truck Approaching]

[ Breathing Heavily]

[Coyote Howling] [Man Moans]

Hey. [ Moans]

What's the matter with you?

Hey! What are you doin' out here?

[ Moans]

Come on. Get up.

What happened? [Groans]

Come on. Get up.

[Grunts]

[ Mutters, Laughs]

Come on, old man. You're gonna be all right.

[Grunts]

[Coyote Howls]

[ Moaning, Shivering]

[ Exhales] I'm gonna get you some help.

No! No doctor. Yeah. There's a town about three miles up the road.

No. No. Yeah. Get that heater to work.

No, no. It's okay. It ain't okay! It ain't okay!

Here.

Aw, come on, man! You'll be all right.

[Coughs]

Well, we ain't gonna get into town none too soon.

No doctors. Aw, they ain't got a doctor in Arden,

they just got a public health nurse.

No nurses.

You don't like nurses either? No, I don't.

All right. All right. [Shivers]

I'm not goin' to Arden!

[ Laughs]

Ah. Okay. Take it easy.

Where are you goin'?

I'm going to Vegas. You are, huh? [Laughs]

You know, if you don't beat all.

Strange, old, weird, old wino, layin' out in the middle of the desert,

everybody driving by and nobody's even seeing ya.

I pick you up; I put you in my truck; I'm takin' you where it's safe.

And what do you do? You give me a hard time. You rag me, you bug me.

No. No stops, please.

[Coughing]

♪♪ [Country, Faint]

[Police Radio Dispatcher, Indistinct] ♪♪ [Country]

[Driver] Goin' home to Gabbs.

[Old Man] What do you do in Gabbs?

[Driver] Well, I work in a plant, a magnesium plant, you know.

I've had a lot of jobs, but, uh,

I can't seem to get the right one.

You know, when I was a milkman,

I used to go around and see these wives would be at home,

and their husbands would be out working graveyard, night shift, and I thought about that.

I said maybe I should do that. So I went around and I applied for a job...

at places like McDonnell Douglas, Northrop, Hughes.

- Well, what happened there? - They didn't want me.

What a shame.

How come you keep sayin' that, "What a shame"?

Well, I might've done something.

Like what?

I'm Howard Hughes.

[Scoffs] Well, uh.

Well, you know, listen. I believe anybody can call themselves whatever they want.

I got this stuff from my sister. Gonna put it in my trailer.

What did you say your name was? Dummar.

Melvin, first name.

You're kiddin' me, Melvin.

Now, listen, buddy. Yeah.

You wanna do me a favor? Depends on what it is.

Well, you see, I wrote this song. No!

It's a Christmas song. You'll like it. It's called "Santa's Souped-up Sleigh."

Oh, God.

See, what I did was I wrote the words, and then I sent the words...

in to the Hollywood Music Company.

They make the music up for you. Cost 70 bucks, but it's worth it.

- Here's how it goes. Ya wanna hear it? - No, I don't.

[Off-key] ♪ Santa called his elves together ♪

♪ To soup up his old sleigh ♪

♪ So Rudolph and the other reindeer ♪

♪ Could rest on Christmas Day ♪

[ Moans] ♪ He's got a million miles to travel ♪

♪ And he'll do it in one day ♪

♪ And that's why Santa Claus has a souped-up Santa sleigh ♪

Enough, sir. Come on, you haven't even heard the good part yet.

It's dramatic narration. It's like Red Sovine.

[ Loudly] Hey, up there, fat man! [ Moans]

What are you doin' on my roof? Why, I don't care if you are Santa Claus!

Please stop. What's the matter?

- My ear. - I told you we should've stopped back there.

It's the sound. What d'you mean?

Your song.

Boy, you can be cruel. Did anybody ever tell you that? You can be real cruel.

I have an aversion to song.

That's what makes you an old asshole.

Now, just sing along with me. This is the chorus.

♪ He's got a rocket burnin' mighty quick ♪

♪ Turnin' souped-up Santa's sleigh ♪

♪ He comes in like a streak of light and he goes out the same way ♪

Got it? [Groans] No, I don't know.

Listen, man. You sing this, or you walk.

Okay? "He's got a rocket burnin' mighty quick, turnin' souped-up Santa's sleigh."

[Together] ♪ He's got a rocket burnin' mighty quick ♪

♪ Turnin' souped-up Santa's sleigh ♪

You got it. You're gettin' it. Okay, one more time.

[Together] ♪ He's got a rocket burnin' mighty quick ♪

♪ Turnin' souped-up Santa's sleigh ♪

Hey, now, fat man! I told you to get off my roof!

That chimney's too small, and you're gonna fall.

Come on down off that roof! Now, this is the last verse.

"When you hear that rocket roar,

you know Santa's on his way." You ready?

[Together] ♪ When you hear that rocket roar you know Santa's on his way ♪

"But he'll be back again next year in his souped-up Santa sleigh."

♪ But he'll be back again next year ♪

♪ In his souped-up Santa sleigh ♪♪

[Chuckles] Hey! That's great, man. Hey, you know what?

What? You sounded good.

Ah, come on. You did! Didn't anybody ever tell you you could sing?

No. [Scoffs] Let's hear one of yours.

I don't know any songs.

Oh, come on. You must know one. How about--

Do anything. Do, uh, "Love Me Tender," "Don't Be Cruel."

"My Woman, My Woman, My Wife." Anything.

I don't know any songs.

My father was the singer of the family. I played the saxophone.

"When the Sunset Turns the Ocean Blue to Gold."

"Bill Bailey."

He'd say, "Sonny, you do the verse and I'll take the chorus."

And off he'd go.

Well. Well, I mean, don't you know any song?

"Bye, Bye, Blackbird."

There you go! There you go. Hey.

Oh, sorry. Lay it on me, old-timer.

Ah, don't be crazy.

Ladies and gentlemen, it's been a great show.

Now we have a special attraction:

an old old-timer with a new, new song.

He's been strummin' and playin' all his life, so let's hear it for the old old-timer...

and "Bye, Bye, Blackbird!" Take it!

Come on. Sing it.

[Coughs]

♪♪ [ Humming "Bye, Bye, Blackbird"]

That's nice! That's real nice, but I don't think I heard any words.

Got any words?

♪ Pack up all my cares and woe ♪

♪ Here I go ♪

♪ Singin' low ♪

♪ Bye, bye, blackbird ♪

♪ Where somebody waits for me ♪

♪ Sugar's sweet So is she ♪

[Together] ♪ Bye, bye ♪

♪ Blackbird ♪

♪ No one here can love ♪

♪ Or understand me ♪

♪ Oh, what hard luck stories ♪

♪ They all hand me ♪

♪ So ♪

♪ Make my bed ♪

♪ And light the light ♪

♪ I'll be home late tonight ♪

♪ Blackbird ♪

♪ Blackbird ♪

[Together] ♪ Blackbird ♪

♪ Bye, bye ♪♪

Mmm.

[Thunder Rumbling]

[Wiper Switch Clicks]

[Dog Barks]

[Inhales]

Greasewood.

[Inhales]

Sage.

[Inhales] Nothin' like the smell of the desert after the rain.

[Bird Chirps] [Inhales]

Greasewood and sage.

[ Melvin] I'll let you out at the Salvation Army?

No. Let me out over there. Okay.

Stop.

Here? This is the place.

Well, what d'you got, a friend that works in the kitchen or somethin'?

[ Rattling Door Handle] Aah.

How the hell do you get out of this thing?

Oh, just-- [Sighs]

Well, I had a good time, pal. Aah!

Oh. Sorry. Look. You better take care of that arm.

Yeah.

You got any money?

[Sighs] Oh, boy.

Well. [Chuckles]

You're somethin' else.

[Chuckles] That's it. That's all I got.

[ Laughs]

[Groans]

Take care of yourself, will ya? Yeah. Thank you, Melvin.

Okay.

[ Laughs]

♪♪ [ Humming "Santa's Souped-up Sleigh"]

[Coins Hitting Pavement]

♪♪

♪ Some folks are born made to wave the flag ♪

♪ Ooh They're red, white and blue ♪

♪ And when the band plays "Hail to the Chief" ♪

♪ Ooh, they point the cannon at you ♪

♪ It ain't me ♪

♪ It ain't me I ain't no senator's son Son ♪

♪ It ain't me It ain't me ♪

♪ I ain't no fortunate one No♪♪ [Radio Clicks Off]

[Horse Whinnying]

[ Kiss] Goin' to work now?

No, honey. I--I'm home. I'm working nights this week.

Go to sleep.

[Sighs]

[ Kiss]

Hey.

Mmm. Mm-hmm.

[Dog Barking]

[Melvin Snoring]

[Truck Door Opening]

[Woman] Oh, no. Repossessed again.

[Dog Barking]

[Engine Starting] Right.

[Yawns]

- [Truck Horn Honks] - [Snoring]

Mom. Shh.

[Rooster Crowing] [Truck Engine Running]

[Whispering] Come on.

[ Bag Rustles] Shh!

Good-bye, Melvin.

Lynda!

Mom, what's going on? We have to leave, scoot over.

[ Lynda] Hey, where are we going?

[ Man] Headed to Reno. [Girl] Reno?

Hey! Lynda!

[Girl] So long, Dad!

[Glass Shattering] [Lynda] You said no strings attached!

[Man] You said no strings attached. I didn't say no--

[Lynda] You were doin' me a favor!

You and that brat deserve each other!

- [Girl] How're we gonna pay for this? - [Winces]

[Tires Squealing, Truck Leaving] With a job.

What job?

[ Moaning] I don't know. I guess--

I don't know. Oh. A job.

I think I wanna go home.

I can't go home.

I miss my friends.

And Daddy? Yeah. I miss him.

[Moans] I'm sorry.

[Man On P.A.] Making all local connections bound for Las Vegas.

Stopping at Sparks, Stillwater, Bathertown, Did you get it?

DeSotoville, Gabbs-- Yeah.

Come on. Let's get you something to eat.

♪ Amazing grace used to be ♪ Hey, mister, got a knife?

♪ Her favorite song ♪ You bet.

Darcy, go get the knife.

♪♪ [Continues] Don't cut yourself with it, now. Okay?

Could I help you? [Man] Coffee.

Thank you so much. [Counterman] You're welcome.

Hand me that plate right over there, Darcy. Hurry up.

Go get some mustard.

Excuse me.

Now, when you get to Gabbs, be sure and get off. All right?

All right. Okay. And don't get off before then.

Anybody talks to you, anybody suspicious, just don't talk back.

Just move-- Do you want ketchup? Yeah.

♪ Amazing grace ♪ Well, go get it.

♪ Used to be her favorite song ♪ Just go and talk to the driver.

Tell Nel and Morris hello.

Everything okay? Just fine.

Thank you very much. [P.A.] For the Las Vegas bus.

Final call for Las Vegas. That's you.

Okay.

[Woman] Bye, bye.

Here's your ticket.

Go sit down.

Hey, hey!

I forgot. Thanks.

Thanks for the sandwich, Mom.

Hey, hey! Wait, wait, wait.

How's your mom doin'?

She's fine. Okay.

Let's go.

[Machinery Droning, Whining]

You can't go on like this, Mel. What're you talkin' about?

Mopin' around like a baby. Lynda will be back.

Yeah? They always come back.

Huh. Take me. I can't stand my wife.

But I always go back.

I'm goin' back this weekend. You wanna come?

What? And see your wife? I got a sister.

Yeah? What's she like?

Oh, tall, thin, bluish hair. [Snorts]

Takes tolls on the Golden Gate Bridge.

You'll like her. Yeah. Ah, man.

You wanna come, Melvin?

[Sighs]

I'll tell you what, though. I'll ride with you to Reno.

How's that?

Okay? No.

Yeah! [ Laughs] No.

How you gonna find Lynda, Mel?

Darcy told me where she's been stayin'.

[Radio] ♪ Ramblin' man ♪

♪ All the women he's loved♪♪

Here you go, Mel.

Aw, man. Get rid of that!

♪♪ [Continues] Put that away.

You sure are a goody, Mel.

[Siren Wailing]

♪♪

[Patron Whistling]

Ooh!

♪ I can't get no ♪ [Patron Whooping]

♪ Satisfaction ♪

Whoo! Whoo-ee! ♪ I can't get no ♪

♪ Satisfaction ♪

♪ But I try and I try ♪

♪ And I try and I try ♪

♪ I can't get no ♪

♪ I can't get no ♪ [Lynda Squealing]

[Patron Whistles] Ohh, whoo!

♪♪ [Continues] Do you wanna sit over there?

Come here! Hey!

Here they come! Ah! There's a guy out there waving at you.

You ready? What? There's a guy waving at you.

Oh, my God, it's Melvin. Hi, Melvin.

♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ That's what I say ♪

What is this? Come out of there. Come home with me. Melvin!

You go home. Get outta here.

You're my wife. You can't be workin' here.

I get off in ten minutes.

[Patron] Sit down, buddy! I'm not waitin' for that.

Come outta here! What do you think you're doin'?

[ Music Stops] [Patrons Shouting, Dancers Squealing]

- Let's go! - I can't.

Why not? I love to dance!

- ♪♪ [Resumes] - Okay, you wanna dance. Here.

Oh, oh! Dance.

- Get the hell off the stage, buddy! - [ People Shouting, Screaming]

How's Darcy, Melvin? She's all right!

[Lynda] I'm sorry, Jerry.

I feel for you, but you know, it can't happen in my place like this.

Ah. I know.

I was gonna leave anyway. Good. Okay. Come on.

♪ I can't get no ♪ Let's go, girls!

♪ Satisfaction♪♪

Bye, Lucy. Bye, Elizabeth. Take care of yourself.

Thanks a lot.

[Machinery Droning]

[Machine Revving]

♪♪ [Soft Piano] [People Chattering]

Hey, how you doin'?

There's someone here to see you.

Oh, my God. What's the matter?

What do you want, Melvin? I don't wanna fight with you; I don't wanna argue with you.

I'm just complying with the law.

That's your official notification of an interlocutory decree.

It'll be final in six weeks. Ohh.

There's that. You can keep your ring if you want to.

Wait a minute, Melvin. Melvin! You wait!

What does it say about Darcy in here?

I get custody, that's what.

What do you mean, you get custody?

What do you think? I want her bein' around a weird place like this?

Oh, Melvin! Goddamn it!

Lynda! Now, take it easy, pal. All right.

Andy! Hey!

Hey, hey. Don't hurt him. The party's over.

Hey! I'm leavin'.

Make sure he doesn't come back.

Hey, look, Lynda. I'm sorry, but I can't accept this.

Oh, never mind. I quit! [ Fabric Ripping]

[Patrons Whooping] That's great. Thanks, Lynda.

Two-bit joint! Bye!

Bye, Sally. You take care. Hey, did you see that?

[Girls Calling Good-byes]

[Dog Barking] ♪♪ [Country]

♪ It's a bummer since we've parted ♪

♪ We had so much we could look forward to ♪

♪ Like getting drunk and petting till our necks were blotchy red ♪

♪ And watch TV and pass out at nearly 2:00♪♪

Where's the butter? [Host] What do you say?

There it is. Hey! They love you, Rocky!

Put that-- Yeah, put that on.

Okay, Rocky. What do you think? Five hundred dollars. Not bad, eh?

Um, I wanna go for the gate. You wanna go for the gate?

Oh, then you'll have to kiss this little checky-wecky good-bye.

Oh, good-bye, Mr. Checky-Wecky. There he goes.

Welcome to Mr. Pocket. [Audience Laughs]

Okay. Now, tell me, Rocky. Listen.

Which gate would you like? Number one? [Melvin] What do you think?

[Darcy] Gate number two!

Number two, two! Three. Number three. No, number three!

Okay. Gorgeous guardians of Easy Street,

it's gate number three!

Well, hey! I told you, didn't I?

[Announcer] To provide interesting subjects for her new Yashica,

a trip to Hawaii on United Airlines!

United, the friendly airline!

I'm jealous. What for?

[TV Continues] Look, honey. That's great. They're gonna go to Hawaii.

They're gonna fly, lie in the sun. You should be happy for her.

Look. Wally's huggin' her. See her smile?

Can I go out and play? Yeah. Turn off the TV.

Sure.

[TV Clicks Off]

[Phone Rings]

- Hello. - Hello, Melvin.

- Well, hey, Lynda. How's it goin'? - How's what goin'?

Well, you know. Anything. Whatever you've got goin'.

Could Darcy come down and see me?

Are you drunk? No, I'm not drunk.

Are you pregnant? What do you mean?

What do you want to ask me a thing like that for?

[Sniffing] [Darcy Chattering Outside]

Well, how pregnant are you, anyway?

I'll tell you what. For your sake, you better hope it's a girl.

What are you talkin' about? You know what I'm talkin' about.

Orange juice. Thank you, Mom.

If that's a boy and it doesn't look like me,

you're in big trouble, you're both in trouble.

I just wanna see Darcy.

Well, listen. Why don't you come out here?

Where? To Vegas.

Come on out to Vegas. I'll marry you there.

What do you wanna marry me for, Melvin? You just divorced me.

'Cause I want to, that's all. I just want to. All right?

Melvin. Yeah.

I've been reading this book called The Magic of Believing. Yeah? What's that?

It's about you. Oh, all right.

It says that you can be anything that you wanna be,

but you just have to believe in yourself.

You believe in yourself. It's just that the believin' has not been enough...

to let you become what you believe you can be.

Well, you know, they didn't burn down Rome in one day. You've gotta keep pluggin'.

Mmm. Well, I've been thinking...

that I haven't been very good to you.

I haven't believed in you like you believe in you. Well, how about this?

How does computer programming sound to you? I've been readin' this book about it.

Computer programming.

Real estate, insurance, anything but bagging magnesium.

Yeah.

You really wanna marry me again, Melvin?

I've been missing you.

How about it?

[Flushing]

Hurry up, Mom.

[Flushing]

They're waiting, Mom. I know.

Something stinks in here.

It's the disinfectant.

Oh. [Sighs]

How do I look?

Fat.

I do, don't I?

But nice. You look real good. Really?

Yeah. Promise?

Yes. Okay.

I'll get it. Come on.

Really? Yeah, you look real good.

[ Melvin] Your dress looks good. [ Lynda] Oh, really?

Looks like you guys are gettin' married just in time. Shut up, Red.

[ Darcy] I can't believe my parents are getting married again!

Will you guys hurry up?

[ Red] Darcy. [ Lynda] The car looks great.

[ Darcy] Come on! [ Red] Let me get that.

Uh, hi. We're the Dummars. The Dummar family.

Not yet. Oh, yes, we are. We're just gettin' married again.

- Would you like a veil? - Oh, yeah. How much are they?

Five dollars. No way! No. We'll take one.

Yes! No, Melvin. Five dollars!

[ No Audible Dialogue]

Well, I will have a veil. But I want a blue one to match my suit.

Good.

[ Melvin] Nice, huh?

Yeah. [Darcy] Wow.

- Pretty. - [Owner] And on the music?

Oh, yeah. What do you have?

Uh, well, I got inspirational: "Because." Hawaiian: "The War Chant."

"The War Chant." "Because."

- [Darcy] "The War Chant." - "The War Chant."

"War Chant"!

"Hawaiian War Chant." [Owner] Right.

Very good. That'll be five dollars on the veil,

five dollars on the music,

fifteen dollars on the ceremony, four dollars on the license...

and ten dollars on the witnesses; that's $39 altogether.

The Dummars.

[Clears Throat] Let's see.

Right. That's 39 out of 40.

Aha. Thank you.

Heh. That doesn't leave us much for breakfast, does it?

See, I didn't count on the witnesses.

Yeah. Witnesses. Well, they gotta eat too. You know what I mean?

- Yeah. [Clears Throat] - Right this way.

Here we go. Oh, Melvin, I'm palpitatin'.

♪♪ [Hawaiian]

♪♪ [Continues]

...death do us part.

Till death do us part.

Till death do us part.

Till death do us part.

Lynda, Melvin.

I now pronounce you man and wife.

♪♪ [Resumes]

Well, this is it, Melvin. Yeah.

[Camera Shutter Snaps]

[Owner] Nice. Real nice.

[Clears Throat]

[ Laughs]

[All Chattering]

[ Moaning] Ohh!

[Witness] Are you all right, George?

Hal? [ Moaning]

[ Lynda] Hey, I'm sorry! Ohh.

[Witness] I better take him home. Hal, we need some help.

♪♪ [Continues] [ Moaning]

Hal, pay 'em off. [ Lynda] I'm awful sorry.

Now what am I gonna do? I've got three couples comin' in at 11:00.

[ Lynda] Throw your rice.

Uhhh-- Red! [ Laughs]

Maybe we should talk about that.

♪♪ [Hawaiian]

Oh, boy.

[Melvin] Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on, baby.

Yes.

Yeah! Big 10! [ Darcy, Melvin Cheering]

Come on! Eight, eight!

[Groaning] Well, it's all right. Don't worry about it.

It's okay. Hey!

Come on. Let's go. Okay.

Ten. Twenty! Come on!

Come on, ten! Twenty!

Come on, you guys! What is this? A vacation?

Let's go! Hey, Miles, you're not gonna make no money at that pace!

[Workers Chattering]

I know! I know!

[Chatter Continues]

Hey, Melvin. See that? Milkman of the month.

That's a winner!

Howdy, Melvin. Hey.

Thank you, Bonnie. Mornin'. Hey. Hi, Pete.

There's two-twenty-five this time, Bonnie.

Really. Hmm.

Two-twenty-five is right. See?

See? I'm gonna win that TV. I'm gonna be the milkman of the month.

Well, you're in the lead. You wanna know something? I'm rootin' for you.

Are you married, uh, Bonnie? Bonnie.

Hey, Melvin. Listen, I wanted to tell you. You're doin' a real good job.

Thank you. Only thing is,

you remember that engine you blowed up your first week?

Not now, fellas. I was talkin' to Mr. Rockwood about it.

The only thing we can figure out to do is to deduct it. What! Wait a minute.

[Delgado] Now, take it real easy.

A few dollars a week. You won't even feel it.

That wasn't even my fault. That truck was a piece of junk when you gave it to me!

You signed a note, Melvin. Don't you know I'm on the top to win the Zenith 190-K...

with the triple-scope screen?

Look, Melvin. What can I tell you?

You know we base milkman of the month on the net.

With these deductions, I don't see how you're gonna be in the runnin'.

No, that's my TV, you understand? That's for my wife and my kid--

Let go, Melvin!

You let go, or you don't come back here tomorrow.

What about it, huh?

[Shouting] Come on! Am I the milkman of the month or not?

Yeah, you're the milkman of the month.

- Get the TV set too? - Yeah, you get the set.

Then go ahead and deduct whatever you want.

You know it.

Hey. Hungry?

He's so cute.

I just love him.

[ Boys Chattering]

♪♪ [ Playing Harmonica, Stamping In Rhythm]

♪ If you've got the time ♪

♪ Come on and jump and shout Come on ♪

♪ If you feel the rhythm Come on and beat it out ♪

♪ Shake the ground Shake the ground ♪

♪ Shake the ground Shake the ground ♪

♪ Shake the ground Shake the ground ♪ Hey, everybody.

♪ Ooh, Shake the ground Shake the ground ♪♪

Hi, Dad.

What is that you're drinkin'?

Just a little brandy.

They repossessed the car today.

[TV Host, Indistinct]

Us guys gotta stick together.

Did you hear me? Yeah, I heard you.

Right in the parking lot outside K-Mart. Ah, that's all right.

Sure. What's for supper tonight?

Bell peppers.

Lynda, you know I don't like bell peppers. You keep getting bell peppers.

I got bell peppers.

Shh. The gateway to Easy Street! Gate number two!

All right, then. Which gate do you want? [Darcy] It's gonna be two.

[TV Host] Three? Family argument, guys.

- One. It's gonna be one. - Two!

- Number three. - Come on, two!

[Darcy, Lynda] Number two! Three! Two! Three, three. Two, two.

[ Host] It's number one!

- See? - [Host] Gate number one.

Every time. [Contestants Chattering]

Provides smooth skiing pleasure for up to four people, powered by Hardin Marine!

Wow.

[Announcer] 400-horse power engine. Retails for $12,000!

$12,000! Listen to this!

When you get up there to the gateway, just keep betting up. Bet up, okay?

Come on. Don't settle for nothin'.

But suppose we're ahead a few hundred dollars?

My God, think what we could do with a few hundred dollars!

Try a few thousand on for size.

We could be in Hawaii, with cash besides!

Don't worry about it. Just be brave, baby. Baby?

Yeah! This is show business.

♪♪ [Drumroll, Orchestra Plays Theme Music]

[Announcer] And now, ladies and gentlemen, the star of Easy Street,

Wally "Mr. Love" Williams!

[Wally] Hey! [Audience Cheering]

Don't stop! Keep that love comin' in!

Okay. You know how it works, and I won't bother you with all those silly rules.

Love is what it's all about. We have acts. You judge 'em.

If they go back to squalor and poverty row, it's your fault, not mine!

[Laughter] But if you love 'em, they go on, maybe to fame and fortune.

That's what the show's all about--love; so without further ado,

let's get a little more love; tell us, Freddy, who is our next guest?

From Anaheim, California, Wally, lovely Lynda Dummar!

[Wally] Lynda Dummar, where are you? Come on down, Lynda. Oh! Oh!

That is Lynda! A little more love for Lynda, please!

More love! Clap for Lynda! [Applause]

Lynda, come on. Come on, Lynda.

Come on. Come on, Lynda.

Come on. How are you, princess? Beautiful aquamarine lady.

[Wolf Whistle] You just look lovely, Lynda.

They love you out there, you know. Thank you, Wally.

Ooh, I bet you're just as talented as you are beautiful. I don't know.

[ Laughs] Little candy box hat and everything.

Your hands are cold. You wanna put them in Uncle Wally's pocket?

No? Smarter than Uncle Wally, aren't you?

So tell me, where are you from, Lynda?

Anaheim, California. Anaheim, California.

That's where Disneyland is. Do you have any little ones?

Ever go to Disneyland with your kids?

Yes. I have a daughter Darcy and a son Farron, who is watching today...

with my mother, also, and I'd like to say hello to them.

- Are you divorced, I hope? - No!

You're not? I'm here with my husband, Melvin.

He's right up there. [Wally] And what does Melvin do?

He's a milkman for Rockwood Dairy.

Great. Without a milkman, how would we get our milk?

You know what I'm saying? Anyway, what are you gonna do for us?

I'm gonna do a tap dance. Okay. Lynda Dummar, I love ya, from Anaheim, California.

You are on! Music, please!

[Applause]

♪♪ ["I Can't Get No Satisfaction"]

♪ I can't get no ♪

♪ Satisfaction ♪

♪ I can't get no ♪

♪ Satisfaction ♪ Go take some lessons!

♪ 'Cause I try and I try ♪

♪ And I try and I try ♪

♪ I can't get no ♪

[ Laughing]

♪ No, no, no ♪

♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪ [Audience Clapping Along]

♪ That's what I say ♪

♪ I can't get no ♪

♪ Satisfaction ♪

♪ I can't get no ♪

♪ Satisfaction ♪

♪ 'Cause I try And I try ♪

♪ And I try and I try ♪

♪ I can't get no♪♪

[Audience Cheering] [Man] All right!

Hold it! Hold it! Hold it! Whoa!

Lynda. Come here, Lynda.

Hold it. Okay, Lynda. That's fantastic.

You know how the game works. Love or hate? Yea or nay?

[Cheering] Yea! They love you!

Come here, come here!

They just love you.

Carol, our golden girl guide to the gate of goodies, how much is that check?

Five hundred dollars! Five hundred dollars for Lynda Dummar.

Isn't she marvelous? [Applause]

Just marvelous. Now tell me. You know how the game works.

You can either keep that check for $500, or you can choose gate one, two or three.

What would you like to do? Keep the check? [Man] Take the money!

[Audience Yelling Advice] Give you the money.

[Wally] She wants to play!

Okay, now, Lynda. Make your selection wisely.

Because fame and fortune could lie behind one of these gates.

Gate one, two or three? What do you say?

[Audience Yelling Advice]

Three, three! Two, two, two!

Three! Two, two!

Ticktock, ticktock, ticktock, ticktock. Two!

Two. The young lady's chosen two.

Lynda Dummar has chosen gate number two.

Freddy, tell us! What's in gate number two?

[Freddy] Broyhill's Rutherford II collection...

provides American traditional at its best.

Solid pine trim, deep seating and high backs,

covered in sturdy 100% printed nylon.

It retails for $1,307!

Ohh! That's a lot of stuffing, Lynda!

♪♪ [Drumroll] Wait! Rolling thunder! Timpani!

[Screaming] The Golden Gate bonus!

[Freddy] The Currier piano!

Currier, the piano with quality for today's student and tomorrow's performer.

I'll learn! Now with the finish that resists scratches and stains.

And also, Lynda, with that new piano, you're gonna want it tuned and take some lessons.

So you'll need a tuning fork and some sheet music.

So to take care of some of those expenses, take a look at the rest!

[Bell Dinging] $10,000, Lynda!

[Screaming]

Lynda Dummar, your Golden Gate total:

$13,007!

Take the check. Take the check before they take it back!

Oh, come here! Ladies and gentlemen! Hold it. Hold it.

Please, please, please. Settle down.

Please, tell me. This is very important.

Lynda Dummar, do you know what you're going to do with that money?

Ohh.

Yeah. I sure do know what I'm gonna do with the money.

Okay, which will it be? The Sentinel or the Landlord?

The Sentinel.

Oh, good. [Lynda] How much are they again?

Ah, the Sentinel is 59, 900, and the Landlord is 44,000.

We'll take the Landlord. Now, wait a minute, honey.

I won the goddamn money, and we'll take the goddamn Landlord. Shh.

[Clears Throat] So, it's the Landlord.

"Utilities, $62; food, $210,

window payment, 35-- no, $45;

doctor bill, 60.

Well, if we're very, very careful-- Do I get the piano lessons?

Uh-- I think so.

Great! What about the Girl Scout uniform?

I think we're gonna have to wait on that till next month.

Ah, crap, Ma.

Watch your mouth, Darcy.

♪♪ [Car Horn Playing Melody] Is that Daddy?

It is Daddy! Melvin, Melvin, Melvin.

[Darcy] Wow!

All right!

Well, what do you think? Take it back.

We can't take it back. We'll lose our down payment.

Darcy Lee Dummar, get off that ship!

Beautiful, huh? Oh, take it back, Melvin.

Are you kidding? Darcy Lee, get away from that car!

Cadillac has a signal where the lights go on the minute you go into a tunnel.

It's got an eight-track tape player-- [Slams]

Santa Monica Coast Guard, request weather information.

This is the Santana calling the Santa Monica Coast Guard. Come in.

Come on in, Santa Monica Coast Guard. [ Horn Honks]

What are you doin'?

- I'm leavin' you, Melvin. - I won't ask you back.

Well, I'm never comin' back. I'm not askin' you back.

I'm never comin' back. And you remember half that house is mine, Melvin.

If you leave, you're not gonna get anything.

Melvin, you're a loser!

- Don't call me that! - What do you call it?

The first time we got a prayer of gettin' ahead,

you go out and buy a big, fancy boat and a big, fancy car!

That stuff is an investment. I told you that.

An investment! Yeah.

Okay. Come here. Listen. I'm gonna tell you somethin'.

Now-- Now see that car?

That's not just a car, you know. That's our car.

I used to see cars like that go by on the highway from Reno to Vegas...

and from Vegas to Reno all the time when I was working with my dad.

They went so fast, you could hardly even see 'em.

I used to want one.

Now I've got one. Understand?

We are poor, Melvin. We're poor.

We're not poor. Broke maybe, but we're not poor.

We won the Golden Gate! I won the Golden Gate.

Well, don't go. I don't want you to go.

C'est la vie, Melvin. What's that?

It's French.

I used to dream I'd be a French interpreter. You don't speak French.

I told you it was a dream.

Will I see you again?

Of course you will.

I love you, Dad.

[ Exhales]

Bye, Dad!

[Man On Radio] Santa Monica Coast Guard calling Santana.

17-86 for Santana.

I'm responding to your request for weather conditions for the Southern California area.

[ Knocking]

Is that you, Melvin? Yes, ma'am.

I thought it was you. Yes, ma'am. I got Hi-line, two quarts; Garden Cottage Cheese;

ten-pound box of laundry compound.

Sounds right, Melvin. Wouldn't you like a nice cup of coffee?

Well, not really, ma'am. I got a whole route ahead of me, and--

It's cold out, Melvin. Come on. Don't you want some coffee?

Wait. [ Mutters]

A nice, hot cup of coffee. Well, I--

Oh, why not?

Uh, excuse me, Mrs. Worth. Oh, Melva. Mel-va, Mel-vin. Get it?

[ Laughs] Yes, ma'am.

Melvin? Melvin!

Don't forget tomorrow.

Uh, a quart of low-fat and a pound of nippy cheddar.

You had a $1,500 note. I got it right here.

You got $1,000-- Not now, please, huh? [Man]All right!

Abe, what are you doing, milking that thing? You got the $1,000 balance on the truck.

I got $250 on your uniform, which I'll deduct out of next week's salary.

[Woman On P.A.] George, pick up on line 12. That's real cute.

Merry Christmas. $90-a-week interest?

How am I supposed to catch up? I won't do this.

All right, it's up to you. [P.A.] George, line 12.

You want me to get another job? Anyplace you go, you're gonna be workin' for us.

Jim, what about the insurance? No insurance! Talk to Bonnie, would you please?

Did you sell that boat? Yeah!

Well, what about the Cadillac? [Chuckles] They took it!

That's right. They did. Well, I don't know what to tell you.

You're just gonna have to hustle a little more. Ahh, man.

We got, uh, Ralph over here in Artesia. He can use a little help.

Artesia? That's way across the county. I'll never make it in time!

The milk won't even be cold. Did it ever occur to you to get up earlier?

Hey! I get up at 2:30.

Look, I know it is tough. But you're just gonna have to organize your time better.

I've told you a thousand times, planning is the name of the game.

Just sign that. [P.A.] Call for Delgado, line seven.

♪♪ [Hawaiian]

[Man On P.A.] Ladies and gentlemen, the Tiki Restaurant...

is pleased to wish the employees of the Rockwood Dairy a merry Christmas.

Or, as we say in the islands, Mele Kalikimaka.

Now relax and enjoy the entertainment portion of the evening,

featuring the Tiki Sextette.

I told my wife you sang country, and she's just crazy about country, Mel.

Tell her I'm sorry, will ya?

Delgado was sayin' how you was yellow.

I said if Melvin don't want to sing, that's his right. Yeah? What'd he say?

It ain't what he said, it's what he don't say. You know what I mean?

♪♪ [Drumroll] [Delgado] All right, you Rockwood people!

Let's hear a big round of applause...

for the Tiki "Santa Claus" Sextette!

[Cheering]

As part of tonight's entertainment, ol' Melvin "milkman of the month" Dummar...

was supposed to sing us a little song.

But I'm afraid-- or am I thrilled--

that he's chickened out on us.

- [All Moaning] - Hey, I didn't chicken out.

You want a song? All right. I got a song.

[Employees Cheering]

Ohh!

Go get 'em, Melvin! Melvin!

Where's your guitar, Melvin? They repossess it?

[ Employees Laughing]

Here, hold this for me, will ya?

Oh, let's hear it for Melvin!

I wrote this song to "Six Days on the Road." Do you know that?

Sure. That's fine. Yeah.

That's a Dave Dudley song.

♪♪

♪ Well, I pulled out of Rockwood Headed down the Santa Ana Freeway ♪

Yah-hoo! ♪ I got my Divco wound up ♪

♪ And I guess it's runnin' okay ♪

♪ I know it's the middle of the night But heck, that's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm a milkman for Rockwood and everything's okay ♪

[Employees Cheering]

♪ Well, my truck's kind of old and it's awful slow ♪

♪ The temperature's hot and the oil pressure is low ♪

♪ If I make it through my route tonight ♪

♪ Everything will be all right ♪

♪ Ten hours on the road And I hope I make it home tonight ♪

[Man]Sounds like my truck! ♪ I know Delgado will be checkin' my books today ♪

[Employees Whooping Laughing]

♪ 'Cause a big milk bill he said I'd have to pay ♪

♪ Well, it don't bother me tonight ♪

♪ 'Cause I can dodge old Jim all right ♪

♪ Twelve hours on the road I just hope I make it home tonight ♪

[Man] Yah-hoo! ♪ Well, I work like a dog ♪

♪ Tryin' to collect my pay ♪

♪ All my customers say Can't you come back some other day ♪

♪ Well, I don't know what to say ♪

♪ But I'd sure like a raise in pay ♪

♪ Twenty hours on the road I just hope I make it home tonight ♪♪

[All Cheering]

♪♪ [Hawaiian]

[Sighs]

Are you married, Bonnie?

No, I'm not, Melvin Dummar. And neither are you anymore. Yeah.

So what do you say?

Ha! What d'you mean?

I'll take care of you, Melvin, till you get back up on your feet again.

I got child support money saved up.

You got a kid? I got two kids.

Ohh. Now listen, Melvin. I got a cousin up in Utah.

Lost his lease on a gas station. We run it right, we got a thousand a month clear.

Now, I have been waitin' for this moment, and the moment is now.

Is that net?

Don't you come swingin' your dick around my cashier's office no more.

You're a Mormon girl! You talk like that?

You bet your ass.

[ Exhales] Well, huh.

When do we leave? Tonight.

Melvin, come upstairs. Mr. Rodgers is on the phone.

All right.

That's five. Excuse me.

You're gonna get a coronary, hurryin' around like that.

Well, it's better than starvin', ain't it?

Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Rodgers, but I went all the way down there, and he just wasn't there.

Well, I can't-- [TV Newscaster, Indistinct]

Yes. Yes, I understand. Of course I'll give him the message.

Okay. Okay. Yes. Good-bye.

He's not gonna deliver the gas on Monday unless he gets a check.

Well, let's give him one. Huh?

[ Laughs] What check?

Well, he's not gonna give us gas till we give him a check,

we'll give him a check. But our check's no good.

Yeah, I know. But... it's Easter weekend.

I might be able to pump about a thousand gallons, and by Monday it'll be good.

What's that? Howard Hughes died? Uh-huh.

Remember I told you I picked that guy up in the desert? Oh, yeah.

[ Newscaster] Howard Hughes... He told me he was Howard Hughes.

began a number of tests of his huge Boeing Stratoliner.

He didn't look like that though.

Mom, when are we gonna eat? I'm starving.

[Boy] Yeah, when are we gonna eat? In a minute.

[Newscaster] There was one vessel admitted to the test area to act as a fire boat.

[Melvin] What are we havin', anyway? [Bonnie] Bell peppers.

[Melvin]Aah. Raised her nose off of the water with ease.

But no one except Howard Hughes expected it.

♪♪ [Radio: Country]

Hello, Melvin. Hi. How ya doin'?

All right. Can I help you?

- Yeah. Some cigarettes. - Cigarettes. Uh, what kind do you want?

- Uh, Camels. - Camels. Okay.

That's a man's cigarette. Probably walk a mile for these.

Nowadays they want long ones and filters and-- You want some matches?

Yeah. How much are they?

The matches are free. The cigarettes.

Oh, that's a buck-- A buck?

Uh, wait. Camels. Fifty cents. [ Horn Honking]

[ Honking] I need to get down to Las Vegas, Melvin.

How do I get out of here?

[Honking Continues] Oh, see that right there, by the lake?

That interstate, that's 15. That'll take you right into Vegas.

I was talkin' to this guy. He said if I take 89 and 60, south and across the line.

Listen, I'll be with you in a minute. Guess 15 is the best bet.

[Bonnie] Terry, Sherry, let's go!

Gotta do your homework!

[Girl] Mom. [Boy] Come on! Gimme the ball.

[Sherry] Play catch.

[Bonnie] Hey, come on. Let's go! [Sherry] Mom!

Come on!

I'm standing here. Come. Come on.

Let's go.

[Radio] ♪ Oh, yeah, what'd I say ♪

♪ Hey, hey ♪

♪ She's about a mover ♪

♪ She's about a mover ♪

♪ She's about a mover ♪

♪ She's about a mover ♪

♪ Hey, hey ♪

[Scoffs] ♪ What'd I say ♪

♪ She's about a mover ♪

♪ She's about a mover ♪

♪ Well, you know I love you, baby ♪

♪ Oh, yeah What'd I say Hey, hey♪♪

[ Laughing] Good night, Melvin.

Bonnie! Bonnie! Yeah? What?

I gotta go into town. Take care of everything, will ya?

You got it. I'll be back.

Bye.

Yes, we'll send you an invoice with your order.

And your P.O. number?

No, that one is out of stock. It's on reorder.

Life of Brigham Young. Yes.

Make the check out to the Church of Latter-Day Saints.

Yes. The main office, Church of Latter-Day Saints,

Mormon Square, Salt Lake City, Utah.

84119.

Mm-hmm. That's it. Church of Latter-Day Saints.

[Whooping]

[Phone Ringing] [Bonnie] Hello?

[Man] Let me be the first to congratulate you, Mrs. Dummar.

A document believed to be Howard Hughes's will has been discovered,

naming 16 beneficiaries!

One of whom is Mr. Melvin Dummar!

Oh, my God. [Phone Clattering]

Melvin! Melvin! Oh, my God!

Melvin! Melvin! [Screaming]

What's goin' on? [Yelling Incoherently]

[ Everyone Talking At Once]

Calvin, I want you to move them down!

[ Hubbub Continues]

How did you and Melvin meet? He was the milkman of the month.

Well, at least I won't have to sell night crawlers anymore.

[ Reporter] What is the most amount of money you ever saw?

What a crowd here! How you doin', Pops? [ Laughs]

Good to see you. Dwayne Edwards, my favorite attorney.

Where's Melvin? Over there.

Melvin, how are ya? Hey, how you doin'? Haven't seen you in a while.

Couple of years. Gotta talk to you about some square business.

Ahh.

I'll be back. You always have to leave.

Okay, let's face it. It's gonna be a while before we're gonna see any of this dough.

So we gotta try to capitalize on it while we're hot.

They want you on Merv Griffin. But the best dollar offer so far...

comes from a T-shirt manufacturer.

Let me tell you, this'll wipe you out.

What do you think? [Man] "Would you lend me a quarter?"

It's kinda cute, isn't it? Well, think about this.

The main thing is the press conference tomorrow. What?

You got a press conference tomorrow. Press--Aww.

[Vehicles Honking, People Chattering]

[Honking Continues]

Ladies and gentlemen, I want you to meet Mr. Melvin Dummar;

his wife Bonnie; their children; his attorney, Dwayne Edwards.

I want to tell you up front, I don't want any litigation questions.

Questions only on the basis of the will.

Everybody understand that? No litigation questions. First question.

[Man] Mr. Dummar. Howard Hughes' company, the Summa Corporation,

claims that this will is a forgery. What did I just tell you!

I'm gonna have you thrown outta here! [Arguing]

[Argument Continues]

[Reporter] Did you really believe the man you picked up was Hughes?

Well, I don't know. He said he was Howard Hughes.

He looked like an old bum.

- [Reporter] How would Hughes have looked? - Well, neat. Like, healthy.

This guy was sick. His hands were all wrinkled up. [Reporters Clamoring]

[Man] Did you ever think a dream like this could come true?

Well, when you dream about something, it's no problem,

but... uh-- Melvin, everybody in this country thinks you're lying.

How does that make you feel? [Reporters Clamoring]

[All Asking Questions At Once]

[ Melvin] He was hurt. Maybe he thinks I saved his life.

[Clamoring Continues]

I didn't sign the will. I didn't write the will.

I don't know anything about the will.

I'm really pleased that he...

is gonna make, uh-- inherit that $156 million.

Is that right?

I sure hope when he gets it, that he remembers that he owes the Rockwood Dairy...

4,500. Go on, you guys. Clean it up over there.

[TV Reporter] What kind of guy was Melvin to work with?

[Delgado] Oh, he was a-- a fine man. Uh... a good worker.

As a matter of fact, he was, uh, milkman of the month.

Two bucks.

You remember me, don't you, Melvin?

Uh-- I was with ya. We were all together.

You, me and Howard.

Uh-- But it was me that give him that quarter.

Ohh, y-you're the one!

That's right.

[Gunshot] [Screams]

[Screaming, Shouting]

Melvin! Stop!

Hold him! I got--

Oh, man! Call the police, Bonnie.

You're a liar! You never saw Howard Hughes! You're a liar, Dummar!

You never saw him! He never met him in his life! What?

He's a liar! Get outta here. Just get outta here!

Who in the hell are you? You're nobody! Ya hear me? Nobody!

You're nobody either, lady! Get him outta here!

Go on! [Man Continues Shouting]

[Siren Wailing] Weirdo!

[Phone Ringing]

[Lynda] Hello? [Melvin] Lynda?

Melvin, is that you? Yeah. It's me.

Are you all right? Oh, yeah. Sure. I'm all right.

How you doin'? How's Farron? How's Darcy?

Oh, wow, Melvin. She is so proud.

[ Laughs] Yeah? Hey, listen.

She's not havin' any trouble in school because of this, is she?

No, no! Don't worry about it.

Melvin.

Howard Hughes, huh?

Yeah. What do you think about that?

I think it's amazing. Listen, I gotta go.

Say hi to the kids. Good-bye, Melvin.

Good-bye, Lynda. [ Phone Clicks]

[Man] Why did you deliver the will to the church? [Melvin] I was afraid.

What were you scared of? I was worried about what might be inside.

- Why was that frightening? - Uh, I don't know.

Can you give me one reason on earth...

why this strange man would leave that will with you, Melvin Dummar?

Uh, well, I don't know.

I been tryin' to figure that out myself. [Spectators Laugh]

And did you come up with an answer? No.

Isn't it true you can't come up with an answer because it never happened that way?

Now please stand up. Face the judge.

Place your hand on the Bible. Raise your right hand!

Do you swear in the name of God that this story...

about how you received this will is true?

I do.

Well, Melvin, if it meant...

eternal damnation in hell,

would you still say it just happened that way?

It's the truth. Of course I would say that.

[Spectators Murmuring]

Melvin, turn your chair around and face me, please.

Yes. Yes, sir.

Melvin, are you lying?

Uh, no. No sir.

Melvin, I want you to know that...

there is a still, small voice...

that many people are blessed with...

that tells them when the truth is being spoken.

It's been said, "What doth it profit a man...

"if he gain the whole world,

yet lose his soul?"

Now, if you're lying, Melvin, which you are, in my opinion,

your soul may be in jeopardy,

but that's not really what I'm concerned with right now.

I'm--I'm concerned with your hide.

Because if I find that you're lying before this court,

I'll make it a special duty to have a piece of your hide.

I'll direct the district attorney to bring a criminal prosecution against you.

And I'll make it my special project that, if you're convicted,

I will recommend that you do time in prison.

And I want you to know that the Nevada State Prison is no country club,

like that, uh, Gabbs local jail or wherever it was you served time.

If you're lying,

you go straight to Nevada State Prison.

All right, Melvin?

You bet.

Your Honor.

[Sighs]

Brother Dummar,

I want the truth.

Where did this so-called will come from?

[Sighs]

It, uh--Some man brought it by the station where I was workin'.

He left it there.

What, are you gonna persist in giving the answers that were elicited from you this morning?

Is that it?

Yes, sir.

Do you know who wrote the will?

No, I don't.

Did you in any way participate in the preparation of the will?

No, sir!

I've done my best, gentlemen.

[Spectators Murmuring]

[Lawyer] Melvin, you did it!

On July 6, they're gonna determine the validity of the will.

Like he says, it's the only will we've got.

That, plus the positive testimony by the handwriting experts.

I think the will's gonna be admitted to probate.

You're gonna get your inheritance. You think so?

Well, it's gonna be a long, long road, but we won the first battle.

I can tell! [ Exhales]

The T-shirt people called again.

Look, they're worth an easy 15,000.

What d'you say? [ Laughs] No. I--I don't think so, man.

You can use the cash.

What's the matter? You wanna get paid?

No. It's just--They started paving the freeway today down from the gas station.

Within two weeks you're gonna be pretty lonely up there.

- Don't worry about me. I'll be all right. - You won, Mel!

Then, what are you so worried about?

I just hope you don't have any illusions.

They're gonna fight it through every court they can-- the relatives, Summa.

Meanwhile the government will be taking out taxes; the state will be taking out taxes.

Lawyers will be taking out legal fees. The money is gonna be siphoned off.

Yeah. I've known that since I first found that will.

What d'you mean?

I mean, do you think that Melvin Dummar is gonna get $156 million?

Or anything like it?

Nah. I'm not gonna see that money.

That's all right.

'Cause you know what happened?

[Chuckles]

Howard Hughes sang Melvin Dummar's song.

That's what happened.

He sang it.

[ Laughs] He was funny.

Yeah. He sang it. "Santa's Souped-up Sleigh."

I'll see ya.

Sorry. That's okay. Gave me a chance to get him fed.

You sure you wanna do this? Are you kidding? See my kids?

Get 'em up where there's some fresh air? Oh, yeah.

Go in the back seat. I got some comic books.

There's a little toy in there for Farron.

Uh, you're not gonna hassle me when I want 'em back at the end of the summer, are you?

You got my word.

That's what I'm afraid of.

[Melvin] Aw, come on. You know, Bonnie sure is gonna have her hands full this summer.

[Melvin] Huh... yeah.

Give us a kiss.

[ Darcy] Bye, Mom!

[Thunder Rumbles]

Don't wake him up.

I'll try not to.

How about lettin' me drive?

- [ Laughs] You? - I'm a darned good driver.

You haven't driven since they put out the Hudson.

I'm a darned good driver, I'll bet you.

All right.

[ Laughs]

When we get into Vegas, though, I'm gonna run it in.

[ Laughs] Slide over.

Aah.

[Door Closes]

♪ Pack up all my cares and woe ♪

♪ Here I go Singin' low ♪

♪ Bye, bye ♪

♪ Blackbird ♪

♪ Where somebody waits for me ♪

♪ Sugar's sweet So is she ♪

♪ Bye, bye ♪

♪ Blackbird ♪

♪ No one here can love or understand me ♪

♪ Oh, what hard luck stories they all hand me ♪

♪ So won't you make my bed and light the light ♪

♪ I'll be home late tonight ♪

♪ Blackbird ♪

♪ Bye, bye♪♪