Original subtitles

A Ajax and Joypack Film Joint Production

HOLE IN THE PANTS

CAST

Yoichi Yamamoto Momoko Kikuchi

Koji Tanaka, Yumi Yano Yasuhito Yamanaka, Kiyoshi Kasahara Munenori Iwamoto

Hisashi Igawa Masumi Harukawa

Hajime Hana Mari Shiraki, Sanae Tsuchida

Mako Hattori Junko Takazawa

Shogo Shimizu Tetsuya Takeda, Nodoka Kawai

Hachiro Tako, Umanosuke Ueda Sanji Kojima, Gen Idemitsu Mineo Maya

Marian, Sumio Aida Kosuke Toyohara, Kaoru Otake Hiroshi Kawai

Kumiko Takeda Yoshichi Shimada

Executive Producer: Hiroshi Matsumoto

Producer: Yasushi Enomoto Planning: Hiroki Sugita, Akito Haruta Masashi Komukai

Screenplay: Hiromichi Nakamoto, Akane-chan

Music: Yasunori Soryo

Cinematography: Tetsuya Dezaki Lighting: Yuji Ito Art Direction: Terumi Hosoishi Recording: Tsutomu Honda

Editing: Yoshio Kanno Assistant Director: Hisao Maru Associate Producer: Shigeru Iijima

Directed by: Norifumi Suzuki

Listen up.

Let me introduce Ichiro Kimura,

who will be studying with you, starting today.

His father had a job transfer and Ichiro moved to our school.

He came from Hakata, Kyushu.

He's a Kyushu boy.

And Kyushu boys are well known for their innocence.

Right?

In your youth, the most important thing you have is friendship.

"If you love your wife, she will be talented, beautiful, and affectionate."

"If you choose a partner, you'll get both comradery and passion."

Well, I hope you guys get along.

Mr. Kimura, say hello to your new friends.

Mr. Kimura?

- Salute your classmates. - Oh? Right.

-I'm Ichiro Kimura. - We got it already.

- Nice to meet you... - Your nickname?

Banana! Oh, no...

- What does it mean? - Banana?

Oh, well...

What's the matter? Tell us, Kyushu boy!

It means...

I can't say it out loud!

Just a minute.

Quick! I'm leaking! Come on!

Quick! I'm leaking! Come on!

Oh, man. Banana, I get it now.

- It's not like that. - Hey.

You're the one who just transferred?

- Yes. - Can I borrow you for a minute?

- What's going on? - Keep quiet.

Hurry up!

Oh, yeah. Baptism of the new student.

Damn.

You guys want to hang your balls out?

All of you against one. Do you think that makes you a man?

Who's your leader? Let's do a one-on-one fight!

Ah, Dozono.

Are you the leader? You're a fool.

- Banana! - Are you all right?

I'm not okay...

That was awful. Who is he?

- Kentaro Dozono. He's from our same class. - Kentaro?

Dozono saved your ass. Don't even think about getting back at him.

Save me? He beat me up!

Dozono rarely comes to school, they stopped because of him.

That's right.

Those other guys wouldn't stop so easily.

So, here in Tokyo, you can come to school depending on how you feel that day?

- It's not like that! - How is it, then?

- Only Dozono can do it. He's special. - How?

I don't know. I'm sure his achievements speak for themselves.

It's not like he's skipping class half the time.

- That guy studies hard. - Yeah!

Momoko, what do you think of this new kid?

Isn't he cute?

I like it.

"Banana", what could it mean?

Maybe is the way it is curved.

Might be. Maybe he has phimosis.

I don't think so. His face doesn't give me that impression.

What do you think, Momoko?

I don't really know. See you later!

Yoko.

Oh, I love it. My mom would make a fuss. Look.

That's fine, too!

- All right. - Oh, that's nasty!

Stop, you're being silly.

Hey, how's like that new student of yours?

- Banana? - That one!

- Let's tease him a little. - That could be fun.

He's a country boy. He'll surely fall for it.

"Renunciation of war and denial of the right of belligerency."

Paragraph nine: "The people of Japan

sincerely desire international peace based on justice and order."

"The threat or use of force in the exercise of national sovereignty

are forever renounced as means of settling international disputes."

That's right. Do you understand?

"I would love to hear your stories about Kyushu."

"Wait for me at 3 PM at Picolino, a coffee shop in front of the school gate."

"Momoko Kondo."

Ah, Momoko Kondo!

This doesn't affect individual Japanese citizens.

Do you understand? The entities renouncing this war...

What happened to Momoko?

He came.

But if Momoko comes, it won't look good...

- We got you, sorry! - Sorry, sorry!

That was evil. We shocked you, right?

I need to pee. I can't hold anymore!

Wait, wait! The broadcasting team is on the way.

Let me go!

Get out!

Hey, brother. Brother!

Brother, brother!

What? It's so early!

What's going on, Aiko?

Take me to a doctor.

A doctor? Why?

Where are mom and dad?

It's Sunday.

Oh, right. Sunday.

They had that big meeting

to make introductions after the job transfer.

Aiko! You...

Don't worry. You're becoming a lady.

Please, open up!

Brother!

I don't care if it's Sunday or New Year's, it's his job to take care of a patient.

Please, open up! Hurry, we need a doctor!

Come on! Open up!

Open up! I know you can hear me!

Tokyo doctors... They're going to leave the sick to die!

Murderer! Come out! Fake doctor!

- Are you worried? - Yeah, a little.

Do you think my dad is a fake doctor?

About that, it was just an accident.

I'm sorry for all my outbursts. I'm truly sorry.

- Sister. - Yes? What is it?

Yesterday, mom and dad slept without their pants.

Keita, you went to dad's room in the middle of the night again.

You've already been told you can't do that.

Don't grown-ups have to wear pants?

Maybe you were sleepwalking.

You were dreaming, weren't you? I'm sure of that.

Why is it okay to not wear pants?

Maybe it was too hot and they took it off.

So, I found a bunch of Kleenex under the bed.

They were all over the place.

Maybe they caught a cold.

They always get mad when I leave things all over the place.

Sister.

Why were they taking off their pants if they have a cold?

- That's funny. - Listen, Keita.

It was hot, so they took off their pants.

And that's why they caught a cold.

My parents are silly.

Yeah... Did you understand?

- Yes, I do. - Great.

Well, that's great.

- Bye, bye! - Bye, bye!

Aiko, how did that go?

- Brother. - What's wrong?

What? Tell me, please.

I…

What did the doctor say? Hematuria?

Is it pediatric cancer?

I...

- I have hemorrhoids! - Hemorrhoids!

Oh, well, in that case...

Aiko, I was sure it was your period.

Oh, man, that chilled me to the bone.

- We are even. - Yeah, that's right.

Well, let's solve this problem.

Let's pick someone to do it.

- Mr. Eisuke Koyama. - Here.

- Miss Chizuru Koyama. - Yes.

Then, then... Mr. Kazuo Kobayashi and Miss Momoko Kondo.

- Yes. - Thank you very much.

Do your best.

Ms. Ochiyo, what's on the menu today?

- Your favorite. - Vegetable stew once again, right?

What are you talking about? It's curry and rice.

Curry and rice, huh? That's nice.

Don't you think Momoko is getting along with the new student quite well?

Yes, but aren't they just friends?

- Maybe, maybe... - You are terrible!

I'm not kidding!

Momoko, I like "The Hidden" Kentaro more!

- You are an idiot. - Why is that?

- You know what I'm talking about. - What are you trying to say?

There's a big difference between Momoko and you.

What do you mean?

- You know what I mean. - Say it!

If you have something to say, say it!

I've only stated the truth.

Why would "The Hidden" Kentaro hate me?

I didn't say "hate".

- It's just that between Momoko and you... - Quit it.

You always bring up the same topic. What are you two thinking?

It's Hitomi's fault.

- Masochist. - Shut up.

Dear Momoko.

Kumi, what was my time?

- It was good! - Really?

Did you see?

You know what? She's just my type.

There, there. Look!

- That's Fujiki's daughter, right? - Yeah. Masako Fujiki.

She won a beauty contest.

Who's Fujiki?

- Idiot, he's our teacher. - Oh.

Rock, paper, scissors!

Hey, you wanna come by my place? I'll show you something good.

What? Do you mean...?

- That's it! - Right, right.

- What should I do? - What?

I think I'll pass today

- Good evening. - Hi.

I brought you something today.

Who's that girl?

Mamoru's sister. She's a hot college girl.

Don't you think?

- Hey. - Come on, man.

Come see my collection,

it's far more impressive.

Awesome.

How did you get this picture?

If I see her, I'll do it 2 or 3 times.

No, 4 or 5 times. More like it.

Come on, don't play innocent!

Tokyo guys act like saints.

Well, fine!

Do you know this technique?

That one is good. How about this one?

You really don't get it, do you?

You really don't get it.

Next technique.

"The Buddhist altar"!

This is the hand that goes with it. Crank it up.

You rub it, like making fire.

You alter between techniques, right?

I guess...

- What's going on? - Oh, my belly hurts.

Well, I guess you can't have ice cream, then.

- Thank you. - I want some.

- Are you okay? - No, it hurts so much!

Damn it!

You guys don't know shit.

How have you been living all this time?

No one told us anything.

But you know what? I know how to do a girl.

Have you done it?

No, of course not. I'm a virgin.

What kind of knowledge is that?

Well, I'll take this as payment for my lessons.

That's fine, but Momoko is already with someone.

- With whom? - Eisuke Koyama. I have evidence.

Wait.

Here.

Eisuke said he's made a formal proposal to Momoko's parents.

When he graduates from medical school,

and becomes a full-fledged doctor,

he'll take Momoko as his wife.

What's that smell?

It's that thing.

- Your nose will rot! - That's true!

- It's too much! - It stinks! It smells so bad!

- It stinks! - So gross!

It stinks!

How can you stay in a place like that?

Pops, is your nose stuffed up or something?

Hey, old man! You can't just spread this stuff here!

- What was that? - It's dirty!

- Let's go! - Run! Run!

Damn old man!

What's the matter? Don't you smell it?

This is how you get good vegetables, right?

That's right. Kid, you know what I'm talking about.

Let me give it a try.

Don't. Don't. There is no need.

Please, I want to try it.

You are a natural.

We're almost there.

Daddy, you're back!

Call me "father"!

Banana!

Mai!

You are Mai's father?

Most of what you see here comes from our farm.

The manure is working.

It looks good, right?

- We're eating, daddy. - Call me "father".

It's delicious, thanks to the manure from me, your mother, and this guy!

- Father. - Honey!

Don't talk like that in front of Banana.

He won't be able to eat it.

Eat naturally grown food and return the excrement to nature.

And it grows crops again.

That's what people were doing for centuries.

There's nothing dirty about that.

Yes, sir.

Honey,

Banana is the first one to listen quietly to your sermon.

Give it a try.

This is great!

You get it.

Those tomatoes were delicious.

- You can come back any day. - Thanks.

- Today was fun. - It was. This is from my daddy.

- It's from our farm. - Thank you!

I don't want to talk at school about my daddy.

They'll say I'm the daughter of a freak.

- Don't worry. I promise. - Pinky swear!

Pinky swear,

if you're lying, I'll make you drink a thousand needles.

Pinky promise!

- Well... - Yes.

See ya!

- Bye, bye! - Bye, bye!

Mai, Mai!

Mai...

This was too much...

Banana should have taught us earlier.

Mamoru, how long will you keep cleaning?

I have an exam tomorrow.

Enough of this!

That idiot taught me some crazy shit.

I almost had the whole bag sucked off...

Mai

Momoko

Oh? The same number...

I don't know what to do...

Mom, brother is acting weird.

That wouldn't be the first time.

Maybe he's sick.

Hey, Ichiro, are you getting used to the new school?

Did you get a new girlfriend?

Mom, can I have a party in here?

- A party? - Yeah...

- You caught me by surprise. - This is common in Tokyo.

You call your friends and have a party.

That way, you can get into a good high school.

- Do middle schoolers have parties? - Yes.

I haven't heard of that.

- What do you think, Aiko? - No! It's different in primary school.

Mom, this is really important. Think about my future.

Yes. Keep going!

Should we invite girls to the party?

- Yes. - Then, I'll ask Mai.

- I'll ask Chijiru. - Chijiru?

Then, I'll ask Momoko.

My mom worries too much.

She's pushing me to make friends all the time.

"Go make some friends", she told me.

"Bring them to our home!"

I can't make my mother sad.

With that in mind, I think there's no reason you shouldn't come.

What do Tokyo people do at times like this?

- I'll go. - That's great!

- Hey, how are you? - I'm great.

Good morning!

How's school? Are you getting used to it?

Yeah, a little.

I'm having a party at my place soon.

Would you like to come?

- A party? Who'll be there? - Well, a lot of the girls.

Momoko, Mai, Chijiru.

Some of the boys, Mamoru, Susumu and Eisuke.

Well, will you come?

Sure, if it's not a problem.

Great! I'll be waiting for you. Bye!

I invited even Dozono. Why did I do that?

- I don't know about the party. - Do you want to go?

Hitomi, are you going to the party?

I wasn't invited.

Well, Momoko will go. Right, Momoko?

I don't know what to do. I'm free, though.

Really? Then, it's settled. I've always wanted to have a look

to the home of a local family.

One, two, three, four...

Let's go.

Almost there...

Fucking stairs.

Yes, come on! Put the cushions down, quickly!

That's not good.

- This way? - Yeah.

We've got a problem. Who's going to sit in which place?

- I'll sit next to Mai. - I'll sit next to Chijiru.

I see what you're doing.

Well, I'm going to sit next to...

Mom, where's my juice?

I'm sorry. It can't fit in there.

What did you do with the bottle? The fridge's full of small bottles.

- They're for your brother's friends. - Can middle schoolers drink beer?

I don't understand Tokyo customs.

I don't want to embarrass your brother.

Is it ready, mom?

What did you cook?

Leave it to me!

Women from Hakata know how to cook!

- Momoko, can we change places? - Sure.

- Thanks! - No problem.

- I'm sorry. - Please.

- Here, Kentaro. - Thank you very much.

- Cheers! - Cheers!

Let me do it.

Thank you so much, Mai!

- Here you go. - Thanks.

Cheers...

Come with me.

You too!

- Come, come. - What's going on?

- Those guys... - I know, I know.

I'll find a way to fix the sitting situation.

I'm placed between the pair of monsters!

They don't even know we call them that.

- Here, Banana. - Thanks.

- Your mom is great! - You think so?

- I really like her! - Don't touch me...

Eisuke!

So, tell me, what are you going to do after college?

Not sure. Maybe becoming a scholar or opening a clinic.

You should marry Momoko.

- What are you talking about? - It's true...

If they get married, he'll take care of her father's clinic.

Both families could help each other.

- Don't you think so? - It's a great idea.

Mom, are you ready? Come help me here.

Yes, here you go.

- What? - Go ahead.

- Is that okay? - Hope you enjoy it.

Let's eat!

Wait for the rest!

- Amazing! - Here comes the cake.

- Cake! - This is great!

- I'm going to the bathroom. - Okay!

Tadah!

- I'll give you a chair. - Sure.

- Sure? - Tadah!

- Hey, Eisuke. - Come help us!

Tadah!

- Oh, steal his pants. - I got punched.

Tadah!

- I should probably get going. - Wait! It's still early.

Yes, but my mom might get worried.

Tonight was really fun.

Dozono, why don't you walk with her? You're going in the same direction.

Yeah, I've got to do it.

- I'll walk with you. - Thank you.

No, no, no. This party's just beginning.

I'll see you later.

I'll go with Eisuke. We're going the same way.

- But, but... - This was fun!

- Thank you! - Thank you for everything.

Momoko, don't go... Don't leave just yet...

Chijiru, wait please!

Okay, then. Let's just have fun with the ones left.

- Let's party! - Let's party!

The party is over!

- It's still early! - So early!

I don't want to waste this beer.

- Let's drink it! - Drink!

- You'll get drunk! - Great!

I told you the party is over! Just leave!

I'll get some porno magazines...

That makes sense.

I've got it.

Japan's bright youth

Welcome.

Oh, hello, I hope I'm not bothering you.

Thank you for inviting Eisuke to your party.

No problem. Eisuke is teaching me how to use the computer.

Eisuke lives only with me. He's a little shy because of that.

He has only a few friends. Thank you for hanging with him, Banana.

I saw what you bought Sunday morning

If you don't want anyone to know, take your daughter's panties

Put them in the locker No. 69, and hide the key in the library

Don't forget the porno magazine!

- Good morning. - Good morning.

- Masako. - Yes?

- Have you seen my panties? - Your panties?

My red panties, my favorite.

I hung them out to dry, and now they're gone.

Maybe some lingerie thief did it.

You better watch out, mom.

You're right. There are a lot of creeps out there.

Dad, should we call the police?

Yeah...

Girly panties!

- It's titled "According to him". - "According to him".

Wh... When... When we learn something...

When we learn something...

Some...

Sometimes, it seems like a myth.

"Sometimes, it seems like a myth."

There are people coming from far away from home.

"There are people coming from far away from home."

S... Some...

Sometimes, is not fun anymore.

"Sometimes is not fun anymore."

I don't really hold a grudge.

"I don't really hold a grudge."

I'm...

I'm not a gentleman!

"I'm not a gentleman."

Oh, no...

I'll keep your secret, I'm really sorry

- Mr. Fujiki, how are you feeling? - Oh, I'm fine...

- Are you going home? - Yes, sir.

- We are just leaving. - Bye, girls.

You should see a doctor.

I'm thinking of stopping by on my way home.

Goodbye, professor.

Goodbye!

- Goodbye, professor. - Goodbye.

I'll keep your secret, I'm really sorry

That's my student.

Look at me! I'm a girl!

Well! Keita, come on! Don't do that!

- Keita! - I'm a girl!

- Stop it! - I'm a girl!

Keita!

Keita's always like that. I'm so embarrassed.

It's fine.

Were you like that when you were a child?

Well, it was a different time then.

Now, I'm my sister!

One, two... One, two...

Good. One, two...

Good, good!

Turn around.

One, two...

Come on, come on! Hit harder!

Enough for today. That was good.

- Go do some strength work. - Yes.

- Thank you for your help. - No problem.

Mr. Matoba, would you come to the sea this Sunday?

- To the sea? - Yeah, on my father's yacht. It'll be fun.

- I'll go with some classmates. - Oh, I see.

Girls with a sailor suit and all? Yes, I'll go.

You probably don't want to hang with immature girls.

No, I like that kind of thing.

I'm going with some male classmates.

Oh, I forgot I have something to do. I can't go, sorry.

- I have to go to the bank. - To the bank?

Yes, to "The Mistress Bank".

Hey, why did Dozono invite me?

Well, you did invite him to the party the other night.

I guess so...

- Do you often go fishing? - Yeah.

It's a great chance to test these.

I'm hoping everything goes well.

- What do you know about Mayumi? - Nothing.

- So, what about Cathy? - What about?

Why do you ask about these two?

Well, Dozono said they were coming with us.

I see.

I think they're Dozono's girlfriends.

He has lot of girlfriends.

That's amazing.

What do you mean?

You don't really know how Dozono is.

He's really cool.

- I bet he's going to make you have sex. - What are you talking about?

He'll let you have a girl.

I hope you still hang with us after that.

I've had enough of this guy...

All the girls like Dozono.

- And he seeks that excitement. - That's right.

He'll enjoy to see you get laid.

That's why he invited you.

You're 15 years old and ready...

I'm jealous.

Well, good luck with that. I hope you can get rid of your virginity.

You'll tell me all the details later, right?

You should wear some new underwear.

See you!

Which one should I choose?

This one!

Here you go.

How about this way?

What's going on? The weather's so nice today.

Shush! Look...

I wonder which one I should choose.

That's impressive.

It's bigger than my boyfriend's.

Bigger than my boyfriend's, too.

Hey, Banana, come on.

It can't be! Right now? With you?

Good timing. Come here.

Come on.

Today is my day.

Help me with my back, please.

Back... Yes!

- Yes! - Yes!

You're good at this, Banana.

Thank you.

- I'll be eating soon. - What are you talking about?

It's nothing!

- Banana. - Yes?

- How was your first time? - Oh, my first time...

- Fishing, I mean. - Oh, fishing! It was great.

Cool. You never forget your first time.

That's right...

If you don't like something at first, you'll never like it again.

That pendant must be very important to you.

Banana!

Come on, Banana!

Help me take this off.

Yes.

- This thing? - Yeah.

- Right now? - Yes!

I want to be done by the time we get into the harbor.

Yes, I'll do it quickly.

Thank you.

Oh, come on...

Damn...

Seven, eight.

One, two, three...

You guys tricked me!

- We didn't! - You've got to be kidding me!

Both Mayumi and Cathy...

They weren't Dozono's girlfriends. Right?

What do you mean?

Mayumi may be young, but she's his step-mother.

- Step-mother? - Yes.

And Cathy is his English teacher.

- Teacher? - Yes.

- Does that mean you're still a virgin? - Of course I am.

- Isn't that good? - It's not!

Did you try to sleep with her?

I didn't!

It's your fault that I'm short on money.

These pants are still new, so we'll take them back one at a time!

Did they really cost 1000 yen a piece?

Just check it out at a department store.

- Why did you pull the price tag off? - Right!

Because I planned to use them when I slept with a girl.

- Wait a minute. - What?

I need to use the bathroom. Just go ahead and check the store.

It's the one over there. I'll be quick. Bye!

- It really costs 1000 yen. - That's tough.

Hey, Banana said he was going to the bathroom.

- Yeah. - I have an idea.

- Hurry up! - What?

Banana, are you there?

We found the underwear.

It really costs 1000 yen.

Can't you at least talk to us?

You think you're clever, don't you?

Just say something.

That stinks, man. Don't answer me with your ass.

Answer with your mouth. With your mouth!

Hurry up or we'll leave you here.

Let's do it.

You son of a bitch. Come on, come on!

Come on!

Go further up his ass.

Come on, Banana!

Stop playing the silence game!

Give me that.

- Come on! - You're doing it wrong!

I feel so good!

Where did they go?

Hey, you guys are having so much fun.

You want me to talk while I poop?

Hey!

Oh, shit!

You bastard!

What the fuck?

Run!

You're all dead!

Hurry up!

What are you guys doing? Go after them!

Run away!

Hurry up!

Where did they go?

- Safe at last. - Yeah.

Look carefully.

Where are you going?

What's wrong with this guy?

I did it...

Oh, no!

Damn. Where did he go?

You!

Wait a minute! I didn't do anything wrong.

Please! Please!

I found this on the floor. It might be yours.

Bye!

That asshole.

Ichiro Kimura.

He'll pay!

Hello? Brother?

I saw them when I came back from school.

I told them to come upstairs, they said they'll wait outside.

What the hell?! I'm in big trouble!

Are they still outside?

I see... They're still there...

Welcome, what can I get you?

- Hamburger, please. - How many?

Just one.

Thank you very much.

How about some french fries?

Hey, the fries taste great.

How about a soda?

I'm okay.

How about corn soup?

The corn soup is great, too!

One hamburger, please!

Thank you very much!

He's very late.

Scorn him when he comes back.

Yes.

Something must have happened to him.

Maybe he got into a fight...

Don't worry about all that.

You worry too little.

What are you doing now, Momoko?

Who's there?

Who's there?

Go on!

- What's your name? - Name?

- Hey. - Are you Kimura?

No, I'm not...

Don't look so similar, you idiot!

- Let us pass! - You hurt me!

This is bad...

They're high-school demons. We can't handle them.

- We need Dozono! - That won't work.

Even if he helps us, there will be a fight.

A fight?

It all started with a prank in the bathroom, didn't it?

You two...

Maybe if we offer Banana as a sacrifice.

What's wrong with you?

He didn't come to school. It won't work.

Where can Banana be?

I don't think he's coming to school.

Don't come to my middle school and make a fuss.

You're high school students, you know? You're too old for middle school!

You talk too much.

Go get this Ichiro Kimura guy.

If you don't get him, I have no use for you.

No one will rat him out, this school is tight-knit.

Even the janitor and the principal, we're all very close.

Come on, let's go!

Why are you in such a hurry?

It's just a pendant, you know?

You usually sleep in in the morning without hesitation.

Hurry up, mother.

Hey, I found this. Does it belong to some of you?

- This has a pretty good value. - Yeah!

Momoko, you should have it.

Dozono!

It's Momoko and Dozono!

I knew it was a bad idea.

Enough of this shit!

I have no way of getting Banana!

How dare you talk to me like that?

Dozono won't like this.

Dozono?

Then, go get that Dozono.

Dozono will end this, huh?

Call him!

Stop screwing around! Don't fuck with us.

We've got a big problem.

Are you sure you want to do this, Dozono?

Yeah, we'll have a talk.

If we don't solve this, Banana can't come to school.

- Then, I'll go with you. - No, you take it easy.

I'll go.

Principal! We need to call the police right now.

No! Not the police!

That kind of thing will end in the newspaper!

- Our school's honor will be shattered. -Then, what should we do?

We can't leave them alone like this.

We're in trouble.

I can't believe this. So close to my retirement...

For God's sake...

Any idea?

No, I'll ask my wife.

That's right. Your wife is on the school board.

I can't.

If the school board know about this, I'll lose my position.

What are you doing? Running away?

No, no, no. I'm going to the toilet.

Mr. Tanaka, Mr. Fukuda, Mr. Suzuki. And Mr. Nakasone.

I want you all to discuss this! All right? You got it?

This is no time to go pissing!

Are you an educator or not?

Hey, wait a minute!

There are less than ten enemies.

They're all a bunch of cowards.

- This must be easy. - Easy.

Let's go.

If we go there, we'll only be a liability.

You're right.

Let's go.

I wonder if they'll show up.

You're late, you cowards!

Those idiots... They said no more than ten.

Let's go!

Wait, wait, wait!

Please wait for me!

Wait!

Stop it, will you? I'll clean my own mess.

- You're going to settle this? - Yeah.

This all started with poop. So...

I hope you can forgive me.

Yatabe, what do you think?

You've got to be kidding.

Okay, both legs.

Not enough.

He's going all the way. Give him a break.

- Yatabe, that's enough. - Put this on over your head!

Try wearing it on your head!

Then, we'll call it even.

Really?

Really.

I'll do it.

Stop it, Banana!

There's no need to go that far!

- Don't come so close! - Go that way!

You... I'm not letting you live!

Bastard!

I'm an injured man, you know!

Asshole!

Come on! Look to the sky!

Will you not listen to the voice of the vast and boundless universe?

Can you see my flag? It's my underwear.

I'm the High Passing UFO.

What? Don't you know?

You're not the only ones with cock and balls.

You guys are all covered in my piss.

Now cool your head down.

Wash away the bad parts. Forget about it.

From now on, we'll be friends. Don't fail me.

Even if you hurt me, I still believe in people.

I believe in human beings.

That's what friendship is about, maybe.

That was the High Passing UFO's lecture.

My gift to you.

Cheer up! Goodbye!

What's up with you? Again?

Is it really that bad? Diarrhea?

- I'm fine. - You don't look fine.

Just leave school and go see a doctor.

I'll try to hold out somehow.

Have it your way.

I'll be back in a minute.

And then, I hit her with the ball.

That was really fun.

- But it wasn't my fault. - It's so hot here.

My locker won't open. Someone help me, please.

I think it's stuck on something.

- We'll help you. - Let's pull!

Let's pull!

What's going on?

It's not working.

I'll just have to ask the janitor to do it.

- Seems that way. - What could it be?

- Can I borrow your towel? - Sure.

It stinks.

Could it be Mai's locker?

- It can't be. - It stinks.

Did someone just fart?

No, it comes from the locker. No doubt.

What could it be?

It stinks!

Mai, what did you put in there?

What's that smell, Mai?

What's going on?

- Mai's locker stinks. - Really?

It's really awful.

- It comes from Mai's locker. - It smells really bad.

- We can't open it. - This is Mai's?

- We can't open it! - I got it!

Leave it to me! Mai, take a step back.

You get out of the way, too. I got it!

Oh, well...

That's unexpected.

Moron!

They complain about everything, say it's old and tacky.

That this is not the place to be.

But still, on Saturdays and Sundays, 100.000 people gather here.

I know. But actually, I went there a couple of days ago.

And it's still great. I love this place.

It's amazing here.

If I had learned about this place earlier, I would have come sooner.

I'm surprised!

I can't believe you asked me on a date.

Look, Pinocchio!

Thank you.

I love this chocolate.

- Want another? - Yeah.

Hey, I'm thirsty. Let's get a juice.

I know a place!

You've never been here before.

I've been exposed.

Congratulations.

Wait, I didn't order this.

Congratulations, sir.

You just became our 100.000th customer.

This is a small gift from the store to you.

- Please, enjoy your meal. - Really? Thanks!

We're in luck.

It feels like a dream.

To be on a date with you.

Just like friends.

I'm so happy!

- You're overreacting, Banana. - Not at all.

Will you continue to hang out with me?

Of course. We're good friends.

Will you eat that?

Besides, I feel like I can say anything to you.

- May I tell you something? - Yeah.

Dozono told me he liked me.

In front of all the class. I just started crying.

It happened during the time you couldn't come to school.

That day.

I feel glad just thinking about it.

It's great that I can talk this kind of things with you.

I really appreciate that.

I wanted you to understand my joy.

Are you happy for me?

Thank you.

I never thought I'd cry this much.

But, since that day...

- Take this one, please. - Yes.

- Mom, I'm almost done. - Great.

Thank you, Mai.

- It's all taken care of now. - Right.

We found a nice place, so we're moving. You should visit us sometimes.

Yes, I'll be glad.

Come on, let's take a break. I need something cold.

- Thank you for all your help, Mai. - No problem.

Eisuke!

I didn't think you had the manpower. I'm here to help.

Thank you, but Mai already helped me.

That's great. This is from both of us.

- What is it? - I think you'll like it.

I hope you don't get offended by it.

Dozono said it would be the memory of a lifetime.

I wasn't that sure about it.

- May I open it? - Of course.

A locker.

Thank you, but I don't need to see that stuff anymore.

- Is that so? - Yeah.

It's so cute!

It is cute, right?

This is Eisuke Koyama, who transferred from Midorigaoka.

Please introduce yourself.

I am Eisuke Koyama. I have just transferred to this school.

I look forward to knowing you.

- What's your nickname? - Hell's Locker.

She's completely out of your depth.

I know, but she's the only one for me. She rejected both Banana and me.

There's a way you can get with her.

What do you mean?

Give me your ear.

Strictly prohibited to take out

Chloroform

The two of us have devised a plan to help you.

A testament to the friendship between the three of us.

What a beautiful thing youth is!

What's the plan?

Listen up, Miss Nagai, the math teacher that the whole school idolizes,

always enters this room alone to inspect the equipment.

At that moment, we're going to strike.

You're an idiot!

If she makes a fuss, we're done.

Our plan is perfect.

This is how the world works.

- Chloroform! - Yeah!

It's easy to put her to sleep with this.

She won't notice anything, and you'll become a man.

The perfect crime.

This is so stupid.

Let's see it in action. So, he understands.

- Right. - You'll be the teacher.

You'll be hiding in here.

When she enters.

Stop! Stop!

Keep quiet.

Right there.

Are you sure about this?

I'm on it.

Banana here will become a man.

Let's get this place in the mood.

- Mood? - Yeah.

- Okay! Great! - Let me help you with that.

These can work as pillows...

Not so good.

How about this?

Put this over.

Looks great.

Perfect!

Do you think this drug will work?

Leave it to us! Leave it to us!

- Someone come! Someone! - What?

Sounds like the teacher. Let's go.

Translated by Tora-san @ToraSanJP

THE END