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1
00:01:03,488 --> 00:01:05,614
I'm afraid your man
isn't going to show.
2
00:01:05,614 --> 00:01:07,281
I suppose it is
hard to believe,
3
00:01:07,323 --> 00:01:09,865
a prisoner of war attending
a meeting in London.
4
00:01:09,907 --> 00:01:11,116
He'll be here.
5
00:01:12,116 --> 00:01:13,159
Come in.
6
00:01:13,201 --> 00:01:14,284
I'll get
the lights.
7
00:01:14,284 --> 00:01:15,952
Gentlemen.
8
00:01:15,952 --> 00:01:17,953
Air Marshal
Woodhouse... RAF.
9
00:01:17,953 --> 00:01:19,286
How do
you do?
10
00:01:19,286 --> 00:01:20,454
Professor Burrows...
11
00:01:20,454 --> 00:01:22,330
Electronics advisor,
Defense Ministry.
12
00:01:22,372 --> 00:01:23,413
How are
you?
13
00:01:23,455 --> 00:01:24,498
Colonel Hogan.
General.
14
00:01:24,539 --> 00:01:25,915
I've heard a great
deal about you.
15
00:01:25,957 --> 00:01:26,998
I must say
you're doing
16
00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:28,124
a splendid job,
old chap.
17
00:01:28,166 --> 00:01:29,583
Thank you,
I have a good crew.
18
00:01:29,625 --> 00:01:31,751
I'd like to hear more
about it... after the meeting.
19
00:01:31,793 --> 00:01:33,168
We'd better make it
after the war.
20
00:01:33,210 --> 00:01:35,628
I'm due back for roll call
in eight hours and ten minutes
21
00:01:35,628 --> 00:01:38,295
and the Krauts will be awfully
disappointed if I don't make it.
22
00:01:38,337 --> 00:01:39,754
We can't have
that, can we?
23
00:01:41,130 --> 00:01:43,131
Let's get on with
it, then, shall we?
24
00:01:43,173 --> 00:01:45,799
I'm afraid we've got
rather a serious problem.
25
00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:47,800
The Jerrys have
suddenly begun making things
26
00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:49,967
rather difficult for us
with their antiaircraft.
27
00:01:50,009 --> 00:01:51,468
They've already
shot down
28
00:01:51,468 --> 00:01:53,719
some of our fastest
reconnaissance planes.
29
00:01:53,761 --> 00:01:56,304
Obviously would make our bombers
sitting ducks.
30
00:01:56,304 --> 00:01:58,262
Now, according
to intelligence,
31
00:01:58,304 --> 00:02:00,555
the Luftwaffe have
been experimenting
32
00:02:00,597 --> 00:02:02,181
with a new type
of radar...
33
00:02:02,223 --> 00:02:04,099
A super-sensitive
mobile unit.
34
00:02:04,140 --> 00:02:06,809
Hogan, if this equipment
is really effective,
35
00:02:06,809 --> 00:02:08,351
we've got
a brand-new war.
36
00:02:08,393 --> 00:02:10,686
I was just getting
used to the old one.
37
00:02:10,727 --> 00:02:12,937
Well, let's start
with a few pictures.
38
00:02:16,230 --> 00:02:19,731
Lady Valerie Stanford.
39
00:02:19,773 --> 00:02:21,899
One of the oldest families
in England.
40
00:02:21,941 --> 00:02:23,233
A radar specialist.
41
00:02:23,274 --> 00:02:26,068
Worked with the RAF...
Part of a research team.
42
00:02:26,110 --> 00:02:27,527
Very able scientist.
43
00:02:27,568 --> 00:02:29,611
All that and brains, too?
44
00:02:29,695 --> 00:02:31,153
Brilliant mind.
45
00:02:31,153 --> 00:02:33,405
But a highly erratic
personality.
46
00:02:33,446 --> 00:02:35,738
Went off the deep end
a few years ago.
47
00:02:35,780 --> 00:02:37,115
Defected to the Nazis.
48
00:02:37,156 --> 00:02:40,116
Said to be a personal
friend of Hitler.
49
00:02:40,157 --> 00:02:44,326
The fellow with the mustache
really scores, doesn't he?
50
00:02:44,368 --> 00:02:46,910
Colonel, we believe
Lady Stanford is the brain
51
00:02:46,952 --> 00:02:48,953
behind this new
German radar device.
52
00:02:48,994 --> 00:02:52,454
Our flight patterns against
their industrial targets
53
00:02:52,496 --> 00:02:55,997
intersect at point K...
Düsseldorf-Hammelburg sector.
54
00:02:55,997 --> 00:02:58,207
Yeah, there's my
alma mater, Stalag 13.
55
00:02:58,249 --> 00:02:59,667
Exactly.
56
00:02:59,707 --> 00:03:01,376
Intelligence informs us
57
00:03:01,418 --> 00:03:04,210
that Lady Stanford
is somewhere in your area.
58
00:03:04,252 --> 00:03:05,502
If so,
that may be
59
00:03:05,544 --> 00:03:07,837
where they're
testing next.
60
00:03:07,878 --> 00:03:11,505
You want us to find the Kraut
radar and knock it out.
61
00:03:11,505 --> 00:03:12,839
Or find
Lady Stanford
62
00:03:12,839 --> 00:03:14,756
and talk her back
to our side.
63
00:03:14,798 --> 00:03:18,092
Can you
pull it off, Hogan?
64
00:03:21,093 --> 00:03:25,137
Every officer must do his duty
as he sees it.
65
00:03:25,178 --> 00:03:28,179
And, gentlemen, I see it.
66
00:03:39,685 --> 00:03:41,018
Anderson!
67
00:03:41,018 --> 00:03:43,019
Bratkin!
68
00:03:43,019 --> 00:03:44,020
Here.
69
00:03:44,020 --> 00:03:45,604
Carter!
70
00:03:45,646 --> 00:03:47,105
Carter!!
71
00:03:47,147 --> 00:03:49,106
Yo.
72
00:03:49,148 --> 00:03:50,106
Davis.
73
00:03:50,148 --> 00:03:51,649
Edwards.
74
00:03:51,691 --> 00:03:52,941
Harper.
75
00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:54,108
Hogan.
76
00:03:54,150 --> 00:03:55,608
Colonel not back yet?
77
00:03:55,650 --> 00:03:58,026
Maybe he only bought
a one-way ticket.
78
00:03:58,068 --> 00:03:59,694
And leave
this Shangri-La?
79
00:03:59,735 --> 00:04:01,112
Carter,
you need help.
80
00:04:01,153 --> 00:04:02,612
I don't see
Colonel Hogan.
81
00:04:02,654 --> 00:04:04,280
LeBEAU: Monsieur
our favorite Kraut
82
00:04:04,321 --> 00:04:05,864
does not see
Colonel Hogan.
83
00:04:05,905 --> 00:04:08,157
You shouldn't
do this to me.
84
00:04:08,198 --> 00:04:10,574
What shall I tell
the commandant?
85
00:04:12,533 --> 00:04:15,243
Report!
86
00:04:15,285 --> 00:04:17,661
Achtung!
87
00:04:19,704 --> 00:04:24,622
Herr Kommandant, all present
and accounted for... almost.
88
00:04:24,664 --> 00:04:26,832
Good, I...
89
00:04:26,874 --> 00:04:28,374
Almost?
90
00:04:28,374 --> 00:04:30,375
Schultz, what kind
of a report is that?
91
00:04:30,375 --> 00:04:33,710
Well, Herr Kommandant,
A for Anderson is here,
92
00:04:33,710 --> 00:04:37,044
B for Bratkin is here,
C for Carter is here...
93
00:04:37,044 --> 00:04:39,087
Never mind who's here.
94
00:04:39,129 --> 00:04:41,171
Who is not here,
idiot?
95
00:04:41,213 --> 00:04:43,214
Well, I...
96
00:04:43,214 --> 00:04:45,090
Aha, aha!
97
00:04:45,132 --> 00:04:47,049
Colonel Hogan.
98
00:04:47,049 --> 00:04:48,425
Morning, Germans.
99
00:04:49,842 --> 00:04:53,094
All present
and accounted for.
100
00:04:53,136 --> 00:04:54,595
Hogan!
101
00:04:54,636 --> 00:04:56,304
This is inexcusable.
102
00:04:56,345 --> 00:04:58,221
I'm sorry, sir,
I overslept.
103
00:04:58,263 --> 00:05:02,140
Had a crazy dream I was on a
plane flying back from London.
104
00:05:02,181 --> 00:05:05,016
The next time you
are late for roll call,
105
00:05:05,057 --> 00:05:07,559
your dream will turn
into a nightmare.
106
00:05:08,684 --> 00:05:10,143
Rather touchy this morning.
107
00:05:10,184 --> 00:05:12,311
Get up on the wrong side
of the war, sir?
108
00:05:13,395 --> 00:05:14,437
Silence!
109
00:05:16,980 --> 00:05:18,063
What do you know...
110
00:05:18,105 --> 00:05:20,064
They've finally come
to pick up my laundry.
111
00:05:20,064 --> 00:05:22,608
No, that's the new
sauna bath I ordered.
112
00:05:22,649 --> 00:05:25,442
I hope they remembered
to include the lady masseur.
113
00:05:25,483 --> 00:05:26,568
Not "masseur."
114
00:05:26,568 --> 00:05:28,235
The word is
"masseuse," idiot.
115
00:05:28,235 --> 00:05:30,403
Who cares, just as long
as it's a girl.
116
00:05:30,445 --> 00:05:31,486
Silence!
117
00:05:31,528 --> 00:05:33,487
That truck
is none of your business.
118
00:05:33,529 --> 00:05:34,821
What's in it,
Commandant...
119
00:05:34,863 --> 00:05:37,031
A shipment of unconditional
surrender forms?
120
00:05:37,072 --> 00:05:38,906
They have to be filled out
in triplicate, you know.
121
00:05:38,906 --> 00:05:40,574
And signed on the hood
of a German tank.
122
00:05:41,658 --> 00:05:42,742
Silence!
123
00:05:42,783 --> 00:05:44,242
Very amusing.
124
00:05:44,242 --> 00:05:46,410
That truck is top secret.
125
00:05:46,410 --> 00:05:49,911
But I assure you,
its contents will soon have
126
00:05:49,911 --> 00:05:52,912
the Allied planes
dropping like flies.
127
00:05:52,912 --> 00:05:54,706
That's not so amusing, is it?
128
00:05:54,747 --> 00:05:57,915
Dismissed.
129
00:06:00,042 --> 00:06:02,542
It fits the briefing
I got in London...
130
00:06:02,584 --> 00:06:04,668
High-powered, mobile radar.
131
00:06:04,710 --> 00:06:05,918
Radar?
132
00:06:05,918 --> 00:06:08,170
That'll make things even
tougher on the fly-boys.
133
00:06:08,211 --> 00:06:10,129
And their life-span
is pretty short now.
134
00:06:10,338 --> 00:06:11,464
Colonel, look.
135
00:06:11,504 --> 00:06:14,131
We are suddenly
crawling with Boches.
136
00:06:14,173 --> 00:06:16,549
Hochstetter and a full
Luftwaffe general.
137
00:06:16,591 --> 00:06:19,842
Blimey... Gestapo
and the top brass.
138
00:06:19,884 --> 00:06:21,176
Poison and Ivy.
139
00:06:21,217 --> 00:06:23,677
Looks like Berlin is sending
in the first team, Colonel.
140
00:06:23,719 --> 00:06:25,261
It proves one thing for sure.
141
00:06:25,261 --> 00:06:27,387
That radar truck is here
on serious business.
142
00:06:27,429 --> 00:06:28,554
For Pete's sake,
143
00:06:28,596 --> 00:06:30,764
you think they're going
to operate from here?
144
00:06:30,764 --> 00:06:32,473
There's only one way
to make sure.
145
00:06:32,514 --> 00:06:33,682
What's that,
sir?
146
00:06:33,724 --> 00:06:36,725
Scout the opposition
before the opening kickoff.
147
00:06:36,767 --> 00:06:38,726
This location will do nicely.
148
00:06:38,768 --> 00:06:40,894
And that you have
chosen Stalag 13
149
00:06:40,935 --> 00:06:43,936
as the proving ground
for our new radar system,
150
00:06:43,936 --> 00:06:46,354
General Reicker,
it is the culmination
151
00:06:46,396 --> 00:06:49,689
of my not entirely
undistinguished military career.
152
00:06:49,731 --> 00:06:54,317
Military career as
a keeper of a jail?
153
00:06:54,357 --> 00:06:58,318
Major Hochstetter, I can assure
you it is not from choice.
154
00:06:58,359 --> 00:07:02,195
My nostrils itch
for the smell of gunpowder.
155
00:07:02,236 --> 00:07:05,988
Oh? Well, perhaps
that can be arranged.
156
00:07:06,030 --> 00:07:09,323
And Monsieur Hochstetter
is just the man to arrange it.
157
00:07:09,364 --> 00:07:10,783
If Klink
keeps talking,
158
00:07:10,824 --> 00:07:14,367
he's going to be in a lower
berth on the Stalingrad Express.
159
00:07:14,409 --> 00:07:17,118
General, I say we should not
test the equipment here.
160
00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:20,411
I was not aware it was
your decision, Major.
161
00:07:20,453 --> 00:07:21,287
Sir.
162
00:07:22,996 --> 00:07:25,164
The Gestapo,
Herr General,
163
00:07:25,247 --> 00:07:27,832
is interested
only in security,
164
00:07:27,873 --> 00:07:30,625
and this man
is a natural hazard.
165
00:07:30,666 --> 00:07:33,834
He attracts misfortune
like a magnet.
166
00:07:33,876 --> 00:07:36,002
Sir, I warn you.
167
00:07:36,044 --> 00:07:37,836
I must protest this slander.
168
00:07:37,878 --> 00:07:40,379
To whom... the Gestapo?
169
00:07:40,421 --> 00:07:42,380
I haven't decided yet.
170
00:07:42,422 --> 00:07:44,048
I'll let you know.
171
00:07:44,089 --> 00:07:46,757
General Reicker,
I have confined the prisoners.
172
00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:48,424
I have doubled the guard.
173
00:07:48,466 --> 00:07:51,802
I've thrown an impenetrable
screen around the entire camp.
174
00:07:51,843 --> 00:07:56,303
Good... we will proceed
according to plan.
175
00:07:56,345 --> 00:07:57,638
Good.
176
00:07:57,638 --> 00:07:59,305
And as soon as we have one,
177
00:07:59,347 --> 00:08:01,264
we'll proceed
according to plan.
178
00:08:01,306 --> 00:08:04,015
Don't let that top layer
of blubber fool you, mate.
179
00:08:04,057 --> 00:08:06,475
Underneath, old Schultz
is as tough as nails.
180
00:08:06,517 --> 00:08:07,975
But you know
what does it?
181
00:08:07,975 --> 00:08:09,768
It's the old
Prussian goose-step.
182
00:08:09,810 --> 00:08:11,143
That's the secret, mate.
183
00:08:11,185 --> 00:08:12,311
Really?
184
00:08:12,353 --> 00:08:13,478
Right... look out.
185
00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:15,479
Here, I'll show you,
I'll demonstrate.
186
00:08:19,147 --> 00:08:20,815
Bloody marvelous
for the physique.
187
00:08:20,815 --> 00:08:22,148
You try it, now,
come on.
188
00:08:22,190 --> 00:08:23,149
Watch me.
189
00:08:23,191 --> 00:08:23,982
Right.
190
00:08:25,234 --> 00:08:26,817
Right... you feel
better already, eh?
191
00:08:26,817 --> 00:08:28,151
I feel a lot better.
192
00:08:28,151 --> 00:08:31,070
Nein, nein, nein,
nein, nein!
193
00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:32,195
That's terrible.
194
00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:34,904
I'll show you.
195
00:08:37,822 --> 00:08:41,491
Eins, zwei, drei, vier.
196
00:08:41,533 --> 00:08:43,492
Eins, zwei, drei, vier.
197
00:08:43,534 --> 00:08:46,117
Eins, zwei, drei, vier.
198
00:08:46,159 --> 00:08:48,327
And General Reicker,
I can assure you
199
00:08:48,327 --> 00:08:50,453
of my absolutely
fullest cooperation.
200
00:08:50,495 --> 00:08:52,955
That is what I
have been afraid of.
201
00:08:52,996 --> 00:08:53,955
Oh, Commandant?
202
00:08:53,996 --> 00:08:55,206
Hogan!
203
00:08:55,248 --> 00:08:56,748
How did you
get past the guards?
204
00:08:56,790 --> 00:08:57,831
Guards at Stalag 13?
205
00:08:57,831 --> 00:08:59,832
When did we give up
the honor system, sir?
206
00:08:59,832 --> 00:09:01,375
Who is this man, Klink?
207
00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:03,167
Colonel Hogan,
senior POW officer, sir.
208
00:09:03,167 --> 00:09:04,918
I'll deal with you
later, Hogan... out!
209
00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:06,044
Forgive me, Commandant,
210
00:09:06,086 --> 00:09:07,586
but after the formation
this morning,
211
00:09:07,628 --> 00:09:08,836
the men wanted me
to thank you
212
00:09:08,836 --> 00:09:10,337
for taking them
into your confidence.
213
00:09:10,379 --> 00:09:13,339
Taking them
into your confidence?
214
00:09:13,381 --> 00:09:15,006
What did he say?
215
00:09:15,006 --> 00:09:16,882
Just my usual
forceful remarks, sir.
216
00:09:16,924 --> 00:09:18,967
Regulations, discipline,
a few threats.
217
00:09:19,008 --> 00:09:20,717
Just routine...
Out, Hogan.
218
00:09:20,759 --> 00:09:22,802
I didn't ask you, Klink.
219
00:09:22,843 --> 00:09:25,469
What did the commandant say?
220
00:09:25,511 --> 00:09:26,470
Well...
221
00:09:26,512 --> 00:09:27,845
It was nothing, sir, nothing.
222
00:09:27,845 --> 00:09:32,181
Yes, exactly what were
the commandant's remarks?
223
00:09:32,181 --> 00:09:34,349
Well, he hinted at the
glorious achievements
224
00:09:34,349 --> 00:09:35,683
of the German scientist.
225
00:09:35,724 --> 00:09:38,225
He mentioned that the truck
out there is top secret,
226
00:09:38,308 --> 00:09:40,309
but we could tell
from the way he said it
227
00:09:40,351 --> 00:09:43,019
that the truck has something
to do with radio or radar.
228
00:09:43,061 --> 00:09:45,312
Was that all?
229
00:09:45,354 --> 00:09:46,771
Could there be
anything else?
230
00:09:46,813 --> 00:09:47,980
Let me see.
231
00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:51,148
He said something about it
would knock our bombers out.
232
00:09:51,190 --> 00:09:53,774
"They'd be dropping
like flies," he said.
233
00:09:53,816 --> 00:09:55,483
Incredible!
234
00:09:55,525 --> 00:09:57,484
Imbecile, idiot.
235
00:09:57,526 --> 00:10:01,278
General, I tell you,
this man is a natural hazard.
236
00:10:01,319 --> 00:10:02,611
Was it something
I said, sir?
237
00:10:02,653 --> 00:10:04,154
I may have misquoted
the colonel.
238
00:10:04,196 --> 00:10:06,030
I mean, I wouldn't
even have mentioned it
239
00:10:06,072 --> 00:10:07,447
except the men
were so grateful
240
00:10:07,489 --> 00:10:08,698
he let them in
on a secret.
241
00:10:08,739 --> 00:10:09,864
It's great for morale.
242
00:10:09,864 --> 00:10:11,700
Klink, you are finished.
243
00:10:11,740 --> 00:10:14,200
If you have one ounce
of brains left,
244
00:10:14,242 --> 00:10:16,910
you will take this
and blow them out.
245
00:10:18,953 --> 00:10:20,662
Hochstetter,
what are you doing?
246
00:10:20,704 --> 00:10:23,037
I will tell Berlin
that there's been a leak.
247
00:10:23,079 --> 00:10:25,497
We must cancel the test,
move the equipment.
248
00:10:25,539 --> 00:10:26,747
Just a moment.
249
00:10:26,789 --> 00:10:28,748
General, there's
no security problem.
250
00:10:28,790 --> 00:10:31,166
No prisoner has ever
escaped from Stalag 13.
251
00:10:31,208 --> 00:10:33,626
Hogan is right, sir...
Not one ever.
252
00:10:33,668 --> 00:10:36,293
General Reicker, I would
be terribly disappointed
253
00:10:36,335 --> 00:10:38,003
if the test
were not made here.
254
00:10:38,044 --> 00:10:41,713
Unfortunately, the Führer
would be disappointed, too.
255
00:10:41,754 --> 00:10:44,631
This project has
his personal approval.
256
00:10:44,673 --> 00:10:46,215
If they move the test,
257
00:10:46,215 --> 00:10:49,675
won't your technical adviser
have to make new calculations?
258
00:10:49,717 --> 00:10:51,968
Adviser?
259
00:10:52,010 --> 00:10:54,386
No one has used that word.
260
00:10:54,428 --> 00:10:58,804
What do you know about
a technical adviser, Hogan?
261
00:10:58,846 --> 00:11:00,138
There has to be
a great mind
262
00:11:00,179 --> 00:11:02,472
behind every scientific
discovery... it's logic.
263
00:11:02,514 --> 00:11:04,140
That will be enough,
Colonel Hogan.
264
00:11:04,181 --> 00:11:05,141
You may go.
265
00:11:05,182 --> 00:11:06,224
Thank you, sir.
266
00:11:06,224 --> 00:11:08,058
Uh, good luck
with your test.
267
00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:09,892
Stalag 13 is
a lucky number.
268
00:11:09,892 --> 00:11:11,601
At least it's been lucky for me.
269
00:11:15,562 --> 00:11:20,481
Colonel Hogan, I came here
to borrow some of your cologne.
270
00:11:20,565 --> 00:11:22,107
It smells so good.
271
00:11:22,149 --> 00:11:26,275
From now on, Sergeant Schultz
lives like a king.
272
00:11:26,316 --> 00:11:28,276
Poor mug, he's crackers.
273
00:11:28,317 --> 00:11:32,695
Yeah, perhaps for the first
course with goose livers.
274
00:11:32,737 --> 00:11:36,572
Or maybe little herring
tidbits in wine sauce.
275
00:11:36,572 --> 00:11:38,030
Good life,
huh, Schultz?
276
00:11:38,072 --> 00:11:39,406
Where is
this paradise?
277
00:11:39,406 --> 00:11:40,574
Can't tell you.
278
00:11:40,574 --> 00:11:42,408
My lips are sealed...
Top secret.
279
00:11:42,408 --> 00:11:47,368
But tonight I sleep in
a real bed with clean sheets.
280
00:11:47,410 --> 00:11:50,162
That's why I wanted
your cologne.
281
00:11:50,203 --> 00:11:52,662
It goes with clean sheets.
282
00:11:52,704 --> 00:11:54,246
Gourmet meals,
clean sheets.
283
00:11:54,246 --> 00:11:55,414
Okay, Schultz.
284
00:11:55,456 --> 00:11:58,290
Sounds like you're going
to be staying in a hotel,
285
00:11:58,373 --> 00:11:59,748
probably in Hammelburg.
286
00:11:59,748 --> 00:12:03,334
Donnerwetter,
how do you know that?
287
00:12:03,376 --> 00:12:06,002
You maybe have gypsy blood?
288
00:12:06,043 --> 00:12:09,044
Well, we moved around
a lot when I was a kid.
289
00:12:09,086 --> 00:12:10,504
Okay, gentlemen.
290
00:12:10,546 --> 00:12:13,630
Why would they want Schultz
in Hammelburg?
291
00:12:13,672 --> 00:12:16,174
Maybe they're going
to put him in cement
292
00:12:16,215 --> 00:12:17,966
and use him
for a roadblock.
293
00:12:18,008 --> 00:12:20,050
That's a terrible
thing to say
294
00:12:20,092 --> 00:12:21,509
about a career man.
295
00:12:21,551 --> 00:12:25,844
I, Sergeant Hans Schultz, have
been selected to be a messenger
296
00:12:25,886 --> 00:12:29,762
for a VIP... V.I.P... a very
important personage.
297
00:12:29,762 --> 00:12:31,181
That's enough, Schultz,
298
00:12:31,222 --> 00:12:33,182
we don't want
to know anymore.
299
00:12:33,223 --> 00:12:35,390
We don't want to know that
it's a famous woman scientist
300
00:12:35,432 --> 00:12:37,850
who's masterminding this
radar setup at Stalag 13.
301
00:12:37,892 --> 00:12:39,184
We don't want
to know that.
302
00:12:39,225 --> 00:12:41,143
Don't worry,
Colonel Hogan,
303
00:12:41,185 --> 00:12:44,436
wild horses won't drag it
out of me...
304
00:12:46,645 --> 00:12:48,938
How did he know
about that?
305
00:12:48,938 --> 00:12:51,440
We know nothing.
306
00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:52,440
Nothing.
307
00:12:59,526 --> 00:13:00,360
Hi, Schultz.
308
00:13:00,402 --> 00:13:01,777
Hi.
309
00:13:01,819 --> 00:13:03,820
Boy, you sure look good
standing there.
310
00:13:03,862 --> 00:13:05,446
Danke.
311
00:13:05,446 --> 00:13:07,488
You're a heap
of a soldier.
312
00:13:07,530 --> 00:13:08,655
You're a real heap.
313
00:13:08,739 --> 00:13:10,282
Oh, uh, Colonel Hogan
asked me
314
00:13:10,324 --> 00:13:11,782
to bring you
this cologne.
315
00:13:11,824 --> 00:13:14,408
Oh, it's nice of the colonel
to remember.
316
00:13:14,450 --> 00:13:15,618
Yeah.
317
00:13:15,659 --> 00:13:17,827
Well, I'll see you.
318
00:13:17,869 --> 00:13:19,536
Hey, Carter?
319
00:13:19,578 --> 00:13:22,662
What are you doing
outside the camp?
320
00:13:22,704 --> 00:13:26,289
Well, we deliver anywhere
in a hundred-mile radius.
321
00:13:26,289 --> 00:13:27,331
Oh...
322
00:13:27,372 --> 00:13:28,582
But you have to get
your order in
323
00:13:28,624 --> 00:13:29,790
before 9:00 a.m.
324
00:13:29,832 --> 00:13:31,291
Good.
325
00:13:31,333 --> 00:13:32,792
I remember.
326
00:13:35,001 --> 00:13:37,085
Carter!
327
00:13:47,633 --> 00:13:51,051
Anna, I finished
my bath.
328
00:13:55,344 --> 00:13:57,053
I'm waiting.
329
00:14:07,683 --> 00:14:09,142
You may come in,
Anna.
330
00:14:15,604 --> 00:14:17,938
Towel, please.
331
00:14:22,690 --> 00:14:23,774
Your towel.
332
00:14:23,815 --> 00:14:26,275
Forgive the intrusion,
Lady Stanford,
333
00:14:26,317 --> 00:14:27,484
but I just had to see you.
334
00:14:27,525 --> 00:14:30,985
Well, you definitely
accomplished that.
335
00:14:30,985 --> 00:14:32,320
My apologies.
336
00:14:32,362 --> 00:14:34,904
Circumstances sometimes
force one to do things
337
00:14:34,945 --> 00:14:36,988
that are, shall we say,
distasteful.
338
00:14:36,988 --> 00:14:39,239
You find me distasteful, do you?
339
00:14:39,281 --> 00:14:41,823
Why don't we wait till I see you
with your clothes on.
340
00:14:48,619 --> 00:14:51,870
I take it you approve
of me with my clothes on?
341
00:14:51,912 --> 00:14:53,663
I don't approve
of anybody
342
00:14:53,704 --> 00:14:55,205
who sells out
to the Nazis.
343
00:14:56,914 --> 00:14:59,499
Please believe me...
344
00:14:59,540 --> 00:15:01,500
no matter how guilty
I may seem,
345
00:15:01,541 --> 00:15:04,334
I have never betrayed
my country.
346
00:15:04,334 --> 00:15:07,044
I'd like to believe that.
347
00:15:07,086 --> 00:15:08,586
Two years ago,
348
00:15:08,628 --> 00:15:10,420
I was approached
to develop a new radar
349
00:15:10,462 --> 00:15:11,754
for the Luftwaffe.
350
00:15:11,796 --> 00:15:14,089
You could have said no;
people do occasionally.
351
00:15:14,130 --> 00:15:16,131
It wasn't that simple.
352
00:15:16,173 --> 00:15:19,132
I studied in Germany,
I had friends.
353
00:15:19,174 --> 00:15:21,592
The Gestapo were
holding them hostages.
354
00:15:21,634 --> 00:15:24,052
If what you say is true...
355
00:15:24,094 --> 00:15:26,844
you were working with
the Nazis for two years,
356
00:15:26,886 --> 00:15:29,554
even you couldn't
fool them that long.
357
00:15:31,472 --> 00:15:34,515
This is usually a fatal
admission to make to a man,
358
00:15:34,515 --> 00:15:37,517
but I am a rather
clever woman.
359
00:15:37,558 --> 00:15:40,601
Yes, I did research
for them.
360
00:15:40,643 --> 00:15:41,976
And you call that
intelligent?
361
00:15:43,894 --> 00:15:48,021
Wait until they test their
precious radar tomorrow, darling,
362
00:15:48,021 --> 00:15:51,147
and you'll find out
how brilliant I really am.
363
00:15:51,189 --> 00:15:56,109
You see, in science, it's
not the research that counts...
364
00:15:56,150 --> 00:15:58,484
it's how you use it.
365
00:16:04,028 --> 00:16:06,363
I wonder if Einstein
started this way.
366
00:16:14,283 --> 00:16:16,159
Got him, Colonel.
367
00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:19,494
London?
368
00:16:19,536 --> 00:16:22,204
We've made contact
with Lady Stanford.
369
00:16:22,204 --> 00:16:23,621
She claims she's working
for our side.
370
00:16:23,663 --> 00:16:25,205
She may be on the level.
371
00:16:25,205 --> 00:16:29,207
But cancel all bombing
missions until verified.
372
00:16:29,207 --> 00:16:31,833
What?
373
00:16:31,874 --> 00:16:33,376
They're testing
the radar now.
374
00:16:33,376 --> 00:16:34,251
Call the planes back!
375
00:16:37,169 --> 00:16:39,753
What do you mean
it's too late?
376
00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:49,925
Mobile Tracking Unit X1,
defense alert to Hamburg.
377
00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:55,427
Three squadrons heavy bombers,
bearing 3-4-0, 3-4-0.
378
00:17:07,766 --> 00:17:09,892
Yeah, the hyenas are snapping
at each other:
379
00:17:09,934 --> 00:17:11,393
the ack-ack boys want
the credit
380
00:17:11,393 --> 00:17:13,477
and the Luftwaffe's giving it
to the new radar unit.
381
00:17:13,519 --> 00:17:14,894
Well, at least now
we know
382
00:17:14,936 --> 00:17:16,062
what side
our ladyship's on.
383
00:17:16,062 --> 00:17:17,729
Yeah!
384
00:17:17,729 --> 00:17:19,021
And you're looking
at a sucker
385
00:17:19,063 --> 00:17:20,230
who got the biggest
snow job
386
00:17:20,272 --> 00:17:22,064
since Admiral Peary
discovered the North Pole.
387
00:17:22,106 --> 00:17:23,524
Colonel?
388
00:17:23,566 --> 00:17:24,566
Lady Stanford
just arrived
389
00:17:24,607 --> 00:17:25,983
with Hochstetter
and his Gestapo.
390
00:17:26,024 --> 00:17:27,525
Do you think she knows
who you are, sir?
391
00:17:27,567 --> 00:17:28,568
Well, I didn't
give her
392
00:17:28,568 --> 00:17:29,860
my name, rank
and serial number...
393
00:17:29,901 --> 00:17:31,902
but I have a feeling
I didn't have to.
394
00:17:31,944 --> 00:17:33,820
Well, if something
happens to me,
395
00:17:33,862 --> 00:17:35,112
you guys know
what to do.
396
00:17:35,153 --> 00:17:37,196
Why don't we just blow
up that truck, Colonel?
397
00:17:37,238 --> 00:17:38,239
That's no good.
398
00:17:38,281 --> 00:17:39,573
If the Krauts think
the radar works,
399
00:17:39,614 --> 00:17:41,407
they'll build
another one.
400
00:17:41,407 --> 00:17:42,907
We got to make it
look bad.
401
00:17:42,907 --> 00:17:44,200
How do we do that?
402
00:17:44,241 --> 00:17:48,410
I have a plan that has
no right to work...
403
00:17:48,451 --> 00:17:50,744
but let's give it a try.
404
00:17:54,955 --> 00:17:57,414
Anything wrong,
Herr Leutnant?
405
00:17:57,414 --> 00:18:00,416
Ja, there's a leak
in the cable.
406
00:18:00,457 --> 00:18:02,250
I will need your help.
407
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:08,086
But how will we know
when we find it?
408
00:18:08,086 --> 00:18:09,587
By the smell.
409
00:18:11,504 --> 00:18:14,046
Electricity has
a smell?
410
00:18:14,088 --> 00:18:16,298
Dummkopf, no wonder
you're a private!
411
00:18:16,339 --> 00:18:18,048
Now sniff!
412
00:18:18,090 --> 00:18:19,425
Sniff!
413
00:18:19,425 --> 00:18:20,925
Sniff!
414
00:18:37,016 --> 00:18:38,142
To our victory
415
00:18:38,183 --> 00:18:40,600
and to the lady
who made it possible.
416
00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:41,601
Thank you.
417
00:18:41,601 --> 00:18:43,019
And to our Führer.
418
00:18:43,060 --> 00:18:43,977
To our Führer.
419
00:18:44,728 --> 00:18:45,978
Hogan?
420
00:18:46,020 --> 00:18:47,937
Ah, Major Hochstetter,
do you think it wise
421
00:18:47,937 --> 00:18:50,230
to invite Colonel Hogan
to our little experiment...
422
00:18:50,272 --> 00:18:52,273
I mean, no offense
intended, but I...
423
00:18:52,315 --> 00:18:54,107
Invite Hogan?
424
00:18:54,107 --> 00:18:56,108
I am arresting him
as a spy.
425
00:18:56,108 --> 00:18:59,026
But he is a prisoner of war.
426
00:18:59,067 --> 00:19:02,028
He was impersonating
a German officer in Hammelburg.
427
00:19:02,069 --> 00:19:03,278
One of my prisoners?
428
00:19:03,278 --> 00:19:05,279
Impossible... he was
confined to the barracks.
429
00:19:05,279 --> 00:19:06,404
Who told you?
430
00:19:06,446 --> 00:19:09,781
I have my own sources
of information.
431
00:19:09,781 --> 00:19:11,115
Hogan, is that true?
432
00:19:11,157 --> 00:19:12,407
Lies, sir.
433
00:19:12,449 --> 00:19:14,241
You know
the Gestapo is jealous
434
00:19:14,283 --> 00:19:16,117
of your magnificent
record here.
435
00:19:16,117 --> 00:19:17,160
Movies!
436
00:19:17,201 --> 00:19:18,952
Mind if I stay
for the show, sir?
437
00:19:18,952 --> 00:19:20,202
Not at all,
Colonel.
438
00:19:20,244 --> 00:19:22,537
It is customary
for even the Gestapo
439
00:19:22,579 --> 00:19:26,663
to grant the condemned
man his last request.
440
00:19:26,705 --> 00:19:31,916
"Loosen connections
between modulator, magnitron
441
00:19:31,958 --> 00:19:34,417
and the incubator"?
442
00:19:34,459 --> 00:19:36,626
I guess London means
"oscillator."
443
00:19:36,668 --> 00:19:39,003
Newkirk, get the wax
out of your ears.
444
00:19:39,045 --> 00:19:41,004
This isn't a crystal set
I'm trying to spook.
445
00:19:41,046 --> 00:19:45,797
How can I repeat the bloody
words if I can't pronounce them?
446
00:19:45,797 --> 00:19:48,174
All right, London,
ready at this end.
447
00:19:48,215 --> 00:19:50,258
You can start
your nattering again.
448
00:19:51,467 --> 00:19:53,468
Oh, I say, that's
frightfully good.
449
00:19:53,509 --> 00:19:57,136
Now, you tell your man
to readjust the calibration
450
00:19:57,136 --> 00:19:59,888
of the range finder.
451
00:19:59,929 --> 00:20:01,138
Smashing, what?
452
00:20:01,138 --> 00:20:04,389
Oh, he's going to adore it, sir.
453
00:20:04,431 --> 00:20:05,724
Hello, Kinch.
454
00:20:05,765 --> 00:20:08,767
Here's one that's simply loaded
with charm.
455
00:20:08,892 --> 00:20:10,309
Lay it on me.
456
00:20:10,309 --> 00:20:12,435
I only hope I live long enough
to see how it comes out.
457
00:20:12,477 --> 00:20:14,770
Before we put your model
into production,
458
00:20:14,811 --> 00:20:18,480
we must be sure it is reliable
under all conditions.
459
00:20:18,521 --> 00:20:20,230
I welcome the challenge.
460
00:20:20,272 --> 00:20:22,148
I've got a great deal
at stake as a scientist.
461
00:20:23,273 --> 00:20:26,150
Also as a former
British subject
462
00:20:26,192 --> 00:20:28,192
about whose loyalties
463
00:20:28,233 --> 00:20:31,486
Gestapo is still not
completely satisfied, huh?
464
00:20:31,486 --> 00:20:35,279
Herr Hochstetter,
in a few minutes
465
00:20:35,321 --> 00:20:36,529
even you will be
convinced
466
00:20:36,571 --> 00:20:38,113
of my dedication
to the Führer
467
00:20:38,155 --> 00:20:39,198
and to the Third Reich.
468
00:20:39,239 --> 00:20:40,198
Heil Hitler!
469
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:42,157
Bravo, Fräulein!
Bravo!
470
00:20:45,241 --> 00:20:46,618
Mobile Control Unit,
471
00:20:46,659 --> 00:20:48,868
you will take your positions
in the transmitter truck.
472
00:20:48,910 --> 00:20:49,994
Jawohl, Fräulein.
473
00:20:50,036 --> 00:20:50,660
Jawohl.
474
00:20:55,413 --> 00:20:58,206
Colonel Hogan,
you were stupid
475
00:20:58,247 --> 00:21:00,665
to come back
to Stalag 13.
476
00:21:00,707 --> 00:21:01,916
That's funny,
477
00:21:01,957 --> 00:21:04,042
I was just thinking
the same thing about you.
478
00:21:21,509 --> 00:21:23,843
Enjoying the show,
Hogan? Huh?
479
00:21:23,843 --> 00:21:24,801
Have a cigar.
480
00:21:24,843 --> 00:21:26,677
Perhaps some champagne, eh?
481
00:21:28,303 --> 00:21:31,513
Four squadrons,
RAF heavy bombers.
482
00:21:31,554 --> 00:21:34,515
Course south by southwest.
483
00:21:34,556 --> 00:21:38,933
Distance... 800 kilometers.
484
00:21:38,974 --> 00:21:42,601
Altitude... 5,000 meters.
485
00:21:42,643 --> 00:21:44,186
Speed...
486
00:21:44,228 --> 00:21:46,187
May I alert the antiaircraft
batteries, Lady Stanford?
487
00:21:46,229 --> 00:21:47,270
I would consider it an honor.
488
00:22:01,152 --> 00:22:02,277
What happened?
489
00:22:02,319 --> 00:22:03,361
I don't know.
490
00:22:03,361 --> 00:22:05,153
Check your frequency.
491
00:22:07,363 --> 00:22:09,197
Fräulein, we have lost
the echo!
492
00:22:09,197 --> 00:22:10,781
The frequency system
is out.
493
00:22:10,822 --> 00:22:14,158
I will have that glass
of champagne now, sir.
494
00:22:18,243 --> 00:22:19,452
Munich.
495
00:22:19,494 --> 00:22:20,369
Düsseldorf.
496
00:22:20,619 --> 00:22:21,869
Hamburg.
497
00:22:21,869 --> 00:22:23,371
In ruins.
498
00:22:23,412 --> 00:22:26,038
Our planes caught on
the ground and destroyed.
499
00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:28,039
Scientist! Genius!
500
00:22:28,039 --> 00:22:30,123
I demand
an explanation!
501
00:22:30,165 --> 00:22:31,374
At once.
At once.
502
00:22:31,415 --> 00:22:34,501
Shut up,
blockhead bumbler!
503
00:22:34,542 --> 00:22:36,001
General Reicker?
504
00:22:36,043 --> 00:22:37,502
He's insulting me
again.
505
00:22:37,543 --> 00:22:39,628
I don't understand it.
506
00:22:39,670 --> 00:22:42,671
The first tests were perfect.
507
00:22:46,422 --> 00:22:48,632
You.
508
00:22:48,674 --> 00:22:50,383
You did it.
509
00:22:50,424 --> 00:22:53,259
You sabotaged
the transmitter truck!
510
00:22:53,301 --> 00:22:55,593
It's no use, Valerie,
I was here all the time.
511
00:22:55,635 --> 00:22:58,136
"Valerie"?
512
00:22:58,178 --> 00:23:00,471
Just how well do you two
know each other?
513
00:23:00,513 --> 00:23:02,763
Major, there, uh...
514
00:23:02,805 --> 00:23:03,973
are some things
515
00:23:04,014 --> 00:23:06,640
an officer and a gentleman
can't talk about.
516
00:23:06,682 --> 00:23:09,058
I swear there's
nothing between us.
517
00:23:09,100 --> 00:23:10,642
I proved my loyalty.
518
00:23:10,684 --> 00:23:13,352
It was my information
that led to Hogan's arrest.
519
00:23:13,394 --> 00:23:15,144
A trick to win
your confidence,
520
00:23:15,186 --> 00:23:16,645
and it almost worked.
521
00:23:16,687 --> 00:23:18,980
Yeah, darn clever
these British agents.
522
00:23:19,021 --> 00:23:19,896
Yeah, British...
523
00:23:19,896 --> 00:23:21,064
Mm-hmm.
524
00:23:21,106 --> 00:23:22,356
And the way she talked
the general
525
00:23:22,398 --> 00:23:23,731
out of sending up
the fighter planes.
526
00:23:23,773 --> 00:23:24,816
Come on, Hochstetter,
527
00:23:24,857 --> 00:23:26,316
you got to admit
that was brilliant.
528
00:23:26,358 --> 00:23:27,817
It was brilliant.
529
00:23:27,858 --> 00:23:28,942
In a sneaky way.
530
00:23:28,984 --> 00:23:31,568
Hogan is
the real enemy.
531
00:23:31,610 --> 00:23:33,403
He came
to my hotel room.
532
00:23:33,444 --> 00:23:34,653
In Hammelburg?
533
00:23:34,695 --> 00:23:36,654
Come on, now, Val.
534
00:23:36,696 --> 00:23:37,822
Ridiculous!
535
00:23:37,863 --> 00:23:39,614
No one has ever escaped
from Stalag 13.
536
00:23:39,698 --> 00:23:41,073
Of course not.
537
00:23:41,073 --> 00:23:42,865
Hochstetter, you were
completely taken in.
538
00:23:42,907 --> 00:23:45,200
But I can't blame you...
Could happen to anyone.
539
00:23:45,242 --> 00:23:47,784
I'm willing to forget
the whole thing.
540
00:23:47,826 --> 00:23:50,744
But I'm not.
541
00:23:50,786 --> 00:23:52,578
Take her away!
542
00:23:52,578 --> 00:23:56,622
But you have not heard the
last of this, Major Hochstetter.
543
00:23:56,663 --> 00:24:00,082
Nor have you,
General Reicker.
544
00:24:00,082 --> 00:24:01,332
Corporal?
545
00:24:03,041 --> 00:24:04,417
Smile, darling,
we may be able
546
00:24:04,417 --> 00:24:05,668
to swap
a prisoner for you.
547
00:24:05,710 --> 00:24:06,918
You're valuable.
548
00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:09,336
It isn't often they capture
a lady radar expert.
549
00:24:16,089 --> 00:24:17,589
Commandant?
550
00:24:17,631 --> 00:24:19,006
Sir, the men
were wondering
551
00:24:19,048 --> 00:24:20,133
when you're
going to take them
552
00:24:20,174 --> 00:24:21,258
into your confidence again.
553
00:24:21,299 --> 00:24:22,259
It gives them a lift.
554
00:24:22,300 --> 00:24:23,551
Hogan, I am not
in the mood.
555
00:24:23,592 --> 00:24:24,884
I'm sorry, sir, bad news?
556
00:24:24,926 --> 00:24:25,927
Terrible.
557
00:24:25,969 --> 00:24:27,553
General Reicker
has been transferred
558
00:24:27,594 --> 00:24:28,594
to the infantry.
559
00:24:28,636 --> 00:24:29,762
Shipped to the
eastern front.
560
00:24:29,762 --> 00:24:31,721
Well, change is good
for everybody.
561
00:24:31,763 --> 00:24:34,013
Lady Stanford was
his downfall.
562
00:24:34,055 --> 00:24:36,348
I understand the Führer
screamed for ten minutes.
563
00:24:36,390 --> 00:24:37,599
Is that all?
564
00:24:37,599 --> 00:24:38,975
I thought it took him
that long to warm up.
565
00:24:39,016 --> 00:24:40,892
Hogan, I could be
transferred
566
00:24:40,934 --> 00:24:42,101
to a combat unit.
567
00:24:42,101 --> 00:24:43,393
Not a chance.
568
00:24:43,435 --> 00:24:45,519
Berlin knows you're one man
that's indispensable.
569
00:24:45,561 --> 00:24:46,437
You really think so?
570
00:24:46,478 --> 00:24:47,645
Of course.
571
00:24:47,687 --> 00:24:48,937
Where are they
going to find
572
00:24:48,979 --> 00:24:49,729
another man like you?
39900
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