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1
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,843
Darn it, I dropped
a stitch again.
2
00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:54,304
Forget it... we've got
all the socks we need.
3
00:00:54,346 --> 00:00:57,474
Yeah, but I'm sending these
to my kid brother back home.
4
00:00:57,516 --> 00:00:59,476
You'd do a thing like that
to your own brother?
5
00:00:59,518 --> 00:01:01,186
When you're finished
with those, Carter,
6
00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:02,980
why don't you knit
something interesting?
7
00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:04,106
Yeah, like a girl.
8
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:06,566
Hey!
9
00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:09,152
Why don't you warn
somebody before you come out?
10
00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:10,821
He's all good news.
11
00:01:10,821 --> 00:01:12,948
Message from
London, Colonel.
12
00:01:12,990 --> 00:01:14,408
It's urgent.
13
00:01:14,449 --> 00:01:16,535
You know, after
the war, Andrew,
14
00:01:16,576 --> 00:01:19,579
you're going to make
somebody a great little wife.
15
00:01:19,621 --> 00:01:21,498
That's ridiculous...
Ridiculous!
16
00:01:21,540 --> 00:01:22,874
What's ridiculous?
17
00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:25,544
London's dropped in a load of
ammunition for the underground.
18
00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:26,962
What's that got
to do with us?
19
00:01:27,004 --> 00:01:29,339
They want us to bring it
into camp, store it here,
20
00:01:29,339 --> 00:01:31,508
and then move it out
to the underground units.
21
00:01:31,508 --> 00:01:33,176
Well, that's ridiculous!
22
00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:35,303
Turn a POW camp
into an ammo dump?
23
00:01:35,345 --> 00:01:37,514
Well, good night...
I'm going to bed.
24
00:01:37,514 --> 00:01:39,599
I'm going to resign
from the bloody RAF,
25
00:01:39,641 --> 00:01:41,184
that's what
I'm going to do.
26
00:01:41,184 --> 00:01:43,687
Sir, I'd like to request
a transfer to the navy.
27
00:01:43,729 --> 00:01:45,897
Somebody wake me
in time for the next war.
28
00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:49,484
Wait a minute.
Hold it.
29
00:01:49,526 --> 00:01:51,611
When do we start,
Colonel?
30
00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:53,989
We bring in the stuff
tomorrow night.
31
00:01:54,030 --> 00:01:54,990
How did you know
the colonel
32
00:01:55,031 --> 00:01:55,866
was going to accept
the assignment?
33
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:57,617
It was easy.
34
00:01:57,659 --> 00:01:59,327
I read it in his face.
35
00:01:59,369 --> 00:02:02,748
Every time it's a tough one,
his left eyebrow goes up.
36
00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:04,833
Let his eyebrow
do the job.
37
00:02:04,875 --> 00:02:06,918
Yeah, good luck
to it, I say.
38
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,545
Well, I'll tell
you one thing...
39
00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:10,714
We should have enlisted
on the other side
40
00:02:10,756 --> 00:02:12,090
and we'd be
a lot safer.
41
00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:42,162
Guten Abend, Schnitzer.
42
00:02:42,204 --> 00:02:43,246
Hey,
Schultzy.
43
00:02:43,246 --> 00:02:44,289
How goes
the war?
44
00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:45,415
I don't know.
45
00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:47,751
I haven't heard
from the Führer this week.
46
00:02:47,792 --> 00:02:48,919
You're lucky.
47
00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:50,837
Anybody who hears
from the Führer
48
00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:52,506
is never heard from again.
49
00:02:52,547 --> 00:02:54,508
I don't mix
in politics.
50
00:02:54,549 --> 00:02:55,842
I'm a soldier.
51
00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:56,968
Good!
52
00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:58,595
I'll keep
your secret.
53
00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:01,806
Hey, Schultz, there's
somebody I want you to meet.
54
00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:04,559
I haven't got time
to meet anybody.
55
00:03:04,643 --> 00:03:05,977
Come over here.
56
00:03:07,771 --> 00:03:09,689
My niece Heidi.
57
00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:12,400
Sergeant Hans Schultz.
58
00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:15,111
Guten Abend,
Sergeant.
59
00:03:15,111 --> 00:03:18,114
Enchanté,
mademoiselle.
60
00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:19,449
French.
61
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:20,575
Schön.
62
00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:22,285
Very schön.
63
00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:25,121
I've heard
so much about you.
64
00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:28,833
Onkel Albert tells me you
run the whole place here.
65
00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:32,420
I have a little help,
but not very much.
66
00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:36,633
It is not easy to get
good soldiers in wartime.
67
00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:38,802
It's getting
colder, Heidi.
68
00:03:38,843 --> 00:03:40,303
Come on,
let's go home.
69
00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:42,639
Wait a minute,
hold it, hold it.
70
00:03:42,639 --> 00:03:43,807
What's the rush?
71
00:03:43,848 --> 00:03:45,642
I mean, we...
just got acquainted.
72
00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:48,520
I'd be pleased you could give us
a nice cup of coffee.
73
00:03:48,561 --> 00:03:50,981
But it's in
the orderly room,
74
00:03:51,022 --> 00:03:53,817
and I'm supposed to be
here with the truck.
75
00:03:53,817 --> 00:03:55,151
Orders, you know.
76
00:03:55,151 --> 00:03:57,362
But I thought you
run things here.
77
00:03:57,404 --> 00:04:00,031
Yeah, I do,
but... but...
78
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:02,575
I gave the orders
to myself.
79
00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:09,082
Nobody can use this truck
to escape in, Schultzy.
80
00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:11,835
Oh, your uncle
is so clever.
81
00:04:11,876 --> 00:04:13,837
And so is his niece.
82
00:04:19,467 --> 00:04:23,680
Klink, facts and figures
don't lie, even though you may.
83
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:25,015
Me? Lie?
84
00:04:25,056 --> 00:04:27,434
Why is Stalag 13
the most expensive
85
00:04:27,475 --> 00:04:29,644
prisoner of war camp
in Germany?
86
00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:31,896
That's a very good question,
Herr General.
87
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:35,650
It costs 30% more to operate
this hotel of yours
88
00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:38,236
than any other POW camp.
89
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:39,112
But we do have fun.
90
00:04:39,154 --> 00:04:40,405
Silence!
91
00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:42,741
Sir, it may cost
a lot more,
92
00:04:42,782 --> 00:04:44,868
but may I remind you...
93
00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:47,996
I have never had
an escape in Stalag 13.
94
00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:49,664
Perhaps you should.
95
00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:51,416
It might be cheaper.
96
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:52,751
I'd be willing
to try.
97
00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:54,169
Quiet!
98
00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:59,424
General... I keep my expenses
down to the barest minimum.
99
00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:02,385
I order only those things
that are absolutely necessary.
100
00:05:02,385 --> 00:05:03,762
Is that so?
101
00:05:03,803 --> 00:05:07,056
Signed requisitions
for caviar,
102
00:05:07,056 --> 00:05:10,101
asparagus,
champagne, brandy.
103
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:13,062
How dare you sign requisitions
for such things?
104
00:05:13,104 --> 00:05:15,315
This is
your signature.
105
00:05:15,356 --> 00:05:17,400
Why do you let me
sign such things?
106
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:20,153
I have to do everything
around here by myself.
107
00:05:20,195 --> 00:05:22,906
How does this happen, Klink?
108
00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:24,699
It's his fault.
109
00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:26,409
Hogan?
110
00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:28,620
Yes... he keeps
demanding his rights
111
00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:30,413
under the Geneva
Convention.
112
00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:32,665
Oh, sure... luxuries
like bread and water.
113
00:05:32,707 --> 00:05:34,584
He's passing the buck, General.
114
00:05:34,626 --> 00:05:37,670
If it weren't for our packages
from home, we'd starve.
115
00:05:37,712 --> 00:05:39,506
That's a terrible exaggeration.
116
00:05:39,547 --> 00:05:40,924
Yeah?
117
00:05:40,965 --> 00:05:43,301
We're the only POW camp
that doesn't have mice.
118
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:45,261
That's another
distortion of the truth.
119
00:05:45,261 --> 00:05:46,763
Well, we do
have one mouse,
120
00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:48,097
but he only
sleeps here.
121
00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:49,891
He eats his meals
at Stalag 4.
122
00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:51,226
I don't believe it.
123
00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:53,353
Neither do I...
But it's not bad.
124
00:05:56,606 --> 00:05:59,275
Klink!
I'm warning you.
125
00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:02,820
Keep your costs down,
put your house in order,
126
00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:05,365
or the next time
you want caviar,
127
00:06:05,406 --> 00:06:07,534
you won't have
to import it...
128
00:06:07,575 --> 00:06:10,286
You can catch your own
on the Volga.
129
00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:11,704
But you'll have
to eat it there.
130
00:06:11,746 --> 00:06:12,997
You can't take it
home, sir.
131
00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:14,165
Hogan!
132
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:15,375
General, I promise you,
133
00:06:15,416 --> 00:06:17,502
I will bring all my skill
and my intelligence
134
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:18,795
to bear on this problem.
135
00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:20,088
Who knows?
136
00:06:20,129 --> 00:06:23,174
You may be able
to solve it anyway.
137
00:06:33,351 --> 00:06:36,604
Cor blimey! There can't be
any ammunition left in England.
138
00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:38,815
The next one to light
a cigarette down here
139
00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:40,149
gets a court-martial.
140
00:06:40,149 --> 00:06:42,068
Before or after
the explosion?
141
00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:43,236
Colonel?
142
00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:48,324
London wants this ammo
divided into four lots
143
00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:50,326
and delivered
to separate locations.
144
00:06:50,326 --> 00:06:51,995
They must be kidding.
145
00:06:51,995 --> 00:06:54,122
Shh... they're
sending them now.
146
00:06:54,163 --> 00:06:55,748
Oh, well, that's lovely.
147
00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:59,168
Prisoners of war delivering
ammunition all over Germany.
148
00:06:59,168 --> 00:07:01,504
Maybe they would like to
have the stuff gift-wrapped.
149
00:07:01,546 --> 00:07:03,172
It can't be done,
mon colonel.
150
00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:05,758
We moved the ammo in,
we can move it out.
151
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,260
To four
different places?
152
00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:08,469
Come on, Colonel.
153
00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:09,846
Tell us how to do it.
154
00:07:09,887 --> 00:07:12,724
I wish you guys wouldn't ask
embarrassing questions.
155
00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:13,975
Excuse me.
156
00:07:14,017 --> 00:07:15,977
Colonel, I think I've
solved your problem.
157
00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:18,104
The Cub Scouts to the rescue.
158
00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:20,315
Speak.
159
00:07:20,356 --> 00:07:22,525
Well, your basic
problems in this case
160
00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:24,527
are purchasing
and distribution.
161
00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:26,446
Now, the Germans
are overlooking
162
00:07:26,487 --> 00:07:27,864
a very simple
principle.
163
00:07:27,905 --> 00:07:29,699
Carter, what are
you nattering about?
164
00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:30,700
The colonel
told me
165
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:32,910
that Klink was chewed
out for mismanagement.
166
00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:34,370
I've just been
fooling around
167
00:07:34,412 --> 00:07:35,663
with a couple
of ideas.
168
00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:37,665
We're trying to move ammunition,
169
00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:40,877
and you're trying to make
the war easier for the Krauts.
170
00:07:40,877 --> 00:07:42,045
Well,
not exactly.
171
00:07:42,086 --> 00:07:43,129
What does
he know
172
00:07:43,171 --> 00:07:44,547
about management
anyway?
173
00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:47,800
I happen to have attended
a very fine business school.
174
00:07:47,842 --> 00:07:50,720
I didn't waste my time
hanging around pool halls
175
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,889
like certain people
I could mention.
176
00:07:52,930 --> 00:07:54,390
What do you got there?
177
00:07:54,432 --> 00:07:55,892
Just a few notes, sir.
178
00:07:55,933 --> 00:08:00,563
Now... now, the Krauts, they
deal with five or six POW camps.
179
00:08:00,605 --> 00:08:02,315
Now, if they could centralize
180
00:08:02,356 --> 00:08:04,525
their purchasing
and their distribution...
181
00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:06,402
Like use one camp as a depot...
182
00:08:06,402 --> 00:08:08,237
Then they wouldn't
have a problem.
183
00:08:08,237 --> 00:08:10,156
But we would: you.
184
00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:12,325
Which side are you on?
185
00:08:12,366 --> 00:08:14,118
Andrew, are you
one of the good guys
186
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:15,453
or one of the bad guys?
187
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,746
Okay, just
laugh at a guy
188
00:08:16,788 --> 00:08:18,372
who's trying to
use his brains.
189
00:08:20,541 --> 00:08:22,085
Hold it, hold it!
190
00:08:22,126 --> 00:08:24,504
Carter just may be
one of the good guys.
191
00:08:24,545 --> 00:08:27,590
Could you write that up
to make it sound important?
192
00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:29,258
Piece of pie.
193
00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:31,677
It's "cake," Andrew...
"piece of cake."
194
00:08:31,719 --> 00:08:33,054
What's the pitch,
Colonel?
195
00:08:33,095 --> 00:08:36,724
Well, with Carter's plan,
we just might be able
196
00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:40,061
to get the Krauts to move
the ammunition for us.
197
00:08:40,102 --> 00:08:41,938
The colonel's gone
over the edge.
198
00:08:41,979 --> 00:08:44,273
What is this...
A cuckoo festival?
199
00:08:44,315 --> 00:08:46,275
Next time
you radio London,
200
00:08:46,317 --> 00:08:48,736
tell them we need
a psychiatrist.
201
00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:51,030
No, I don't have
an appointment, ma'am,
202
00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:52,740
but it's very important.
203
00:08:54,575 --> 00:08:55,284
I'll see.
204
00:09:03,334 --> 00:09:04,919
Come in!
205
00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:06,921
Excuse me,
Herr Kommandant,
206
00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:09,090
a prisoner is
asking to see you.
207
00:09:09,131 --> 00:09:11,634
Don't you see that
I'm up to my neck here?
208
00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:13,511
I am drowning in paperwork.
209
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:14,512
I cannot be bothered
210
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,556
with the problems of
every individual prisoner.
211
00:09:16,597 --> 00:09:17,807
It's driving me
out of my skull!
212
00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:19,100
Don't you
understand that?
213
00:09:19,141 --> 00:09:21,894
Carter, what are you doing
here without permission?
214
00:09:21,936 --> 00:09:23,854
I wanted to show the
commandant my plan.
215
00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:25,147
Oh, that thing again.
216
00:09:25,189 --> 00:09:26,649
I ordered you
not to show it.
217
00:09:26,649 --> 00:09:28,109
Well, I think
it's good!
218
00:09:28,150 --> 00:09:29,235
It deserves a chance.
219
00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:30,861
I don't care
what you think.
220
00:09:30,903 --> 00:09:33,155
We're not in this war to
help the Germans, you know.
221
00:09:33,155 --> 00:09:34,240
Now, give me that plan.
222
00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:35,491
Yes, sir.
223
00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:36,742
It's a good thing
I got it in time.
224
00:09:36,784 --> 00:09:38,119
You're not to show this
to the Krauts.
225
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:39,120
Now get back to your hut.
226
00:09:39,161 --> 00:09:40,663
But, Colonel, I
was just trying...
227
00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:41,998
That's an order,
Sergeant!
228
00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:45,334
Just one moment, please.
229
00:09:45,334 --> 00:09:47,253
And what is this document
230
00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:49,964
you're trying to keep
from the Krauts?
231
00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:51,299
He's been
eavesdropping.
232
00:09:51,340 --> 00:09:52,675
That's not very nice.
233
00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:54,594
Any gentleman
would have coughed.
234
00:09:54,635 --> 00:09:55,886
In his case,
grunted.
235
00:09:56,012 --> 00:09:57,138
In that case,
236
00:09:57,179 --> 00:09:59,390
it would not be called
eavesdropping, would it?
237
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:01,058
Now...
"reorganization...
238
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:03,644
"purchasing...
distributing procedures...
239
00:10:03,686 --> 00:10:05,521
"central buying
authority...
240
00:10:05,563 --> 00:10:07,356
"supplies shipped
to Stalag 13...
241
00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:09,817
reloaded for Luft Stalags
in this area..."
242
00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:12,653
And that last part is
mighty important, Commandant.
243
00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:14,613
This is your
idea, Carter?
244
00:10:14,655 --> 00:10:15,781
Yes, sir.
245
00:10:15,823 --> 00:10:17,992
See, I heard you were
having management trouble,
246
00:10:18,034 --> 00:10:19,618
and, uh, I took it
as a challenge.
247
00:10:19,660 --> 00:10:22,288
You know, if you don't use
the old brain, it gets rusty.
248
00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:23,664
See, I went to business school.
249
00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:25,374
And after the war,
you're going to take
250
00:10:25,374 --> 00:10:26,792
postgraduate work
in the stockade.
251
00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:28,127
Hogan!
252
00:10:28,169 --> 00:10:30,379
Uh, now, Carter,
you would like
253
00:10:30,379 --> 00:10:32,882
to put your ideas
into practice, eh?
254
00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:34,175
Yes, sir.
255
00:10:34,216 --> 00:10:35,801
I'm making
a formal protest.
256
00:10:35,843 --> 00:10:37,219
You're aiding
the enemy.
257
00:10:37,219 --> 00:10:38,679
That's you,
Commandant.
258
00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:41,015
That protest can wait
till after the war.
259
00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:44,477
This has definite
possibilities.
260
00:10:44,518 --> 00:10:46,270
You're in a lot
of trouble, Carter.
261
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:47,396
But, sir...
262
00:10:47,396 --> 00:10:48,856
Save it for
your court-martial.
263
00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:50,066
That's very unfair.
264
00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:52,234
Go ahead... fight among
yourselves, I love it.
265
00:10:52,234 --> 00:10:54,987
Fräulein Hilda, call General
Burkhalter at once in Berlin.
266
00:10:55,029 --> 00:10:56,572
I want an immediate
appointment.
267
00:10:56,614 --> 00:10:57,823
This is most important.
268
00:10:57,865 --> 00:10:59,408
You wouldn't actually
put that plan
269
00:10:59,408 --> 00:11:00,576
in operation, would you?
270
00:11:00,618 --> 00:11:01,911
Why not?
271
00:11:01,952 --> 00:11:05,247
This is one of
the best ideas I've ever had.
272
00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:13,422
Amazing.
273
00:11:13,422 --> 00:11:17,051
You obviously worked
hard on this plan, Klink.
274
00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:18,803
Thank you,
General Burkhalter.
275
00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:21,555
I have given it many hours
of intelligent thought.
276
00:11:21,597 --> 00:11:23,265
That's what's
so amazing.
277
00:11:23,307 --> 00:11:25,267
What is your
opinion, Major?
278
00:11:25,309 --> 00:11:30,815
Not a bad idea, but I doubt
that Klink can make it work.
279
00:11:30,856 --> 00:11:32,483
That's terribly
unfair.
280
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:36,821
In fact, ever since
we at the Gestapo discovered
281
00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:38,948
your mismanagement of Stalag 13,
282
00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:41,242
I have had the feeling
that possibly
283
00:11:41,283 --> 00:11:44,411
you should be transferred
to some other activity.
284
00:11:44,453 --> 00:11:47,289
Ha! Me?
Where would I go?
285
00:11:47,289 --> 00:11:49,667
I have a few ideas.
286
00:11:49,708 --> 00:11:51,961
Let us be practical, Major.
287
00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:54,421
This could save a lot of money.
288
00:11:54,463 --> 00:11:55,965
Yes, it could
even be used
289
00:11:56,006 --> 00:11:57,800
by some of
the other services.
290
00:11:57,842 --> 00:12:00,135
I understand they're
already beginning
291
00:12:00,177 --> 00:12:01,971
to call it
the "Klink plan."
292
00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:04,974
Oh? Who calls it
the "Klink plan"?
293
00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:07,810
Oh, some of the gang
back at the stalag.
294
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:10,062
As a matter of fact,
from now on,
295
00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:14,316
I think it should be called
the "Klink-Burkhalter plan."
296
00:12:14,316 --> 00:12:15,651
Klink!
297
00:12:15,693 --> 00:12:18,279
I'm already leaning
in his direction.
298
00:12:18,445 --> 00:12:20,072
Don't push me.
299
00:12:20,114 --> 00:12:22,992
General, I'm
against this idea.
300
00:12:23,033 --> 00:12:25,911
It's a Luftwaffe
matter, Major.
301
00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:30,040
I will make the decision.
302
00:12:30,082 --> 00:12:31,166
We will try it.
303
00:12:31,208 --> 00:12:32,751
Thank you, sir.
304
00:12:32,793 --> 00:12:34,086
Your decision is final?
305
00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:36,088
Ja!
306
00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:37,882
Klink.
307
00:12:37,923 --> 00:12:40,467
Order supplies for
the Luft Stalags in your area
308
00:12:40,509 --> 00:12:42,219
and have them sent to Stalag 13.
309
00:12:42,261 --> 00:12:44,888
Redistribute the material
to the other camps.
310
00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:45,848
Understood?
311
00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:47,099
Understood, sir.
312
00:12:47,141 --> 00:12:50,019
Oh, it's amazing how you grasp
the essentials of this plan.
313
00:12:50,060 --> 00:12:51,353
Absolutely brilliant.
314
00:12:51,395 --> 00:12:52,563
Brilliant, sir.
315
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,732
Herr General, you have
made the decision.
316
00:12:54,773 --> 00:12:56,692
The Gestapo cannot
interfere at this point.
317
00:12:57,026 --> 00:12:58,027
Right.
318
00:13:01,822 --> 00:13:04,491
As for you, Klink,
I will be watching.
319
00:13:04,533 --> 00:13:07,328
One wrong move
and you will be smiling
320
00:13:07,369 --> 00:13:10,039
out of the other side
of your monocle.
321
00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:11,540
Herr General.
322
00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:18,631
I despise that man.
323
00:13:18,672 --> 00:13:20,549
So do I.
324
00:13:20,591 --> 00:13:22,551
But I rarely mention it.
325
00:13:22,551 --> 00:13:25,929
He has a microphone planted
in this office.
326
00:13:25,971 --> 00:13:28,599
But, sir, you just agreed
that you despise him, too.
327
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,225
Where's the microphone?
328
00:13:30,267 --> 00:13:32,394
At the moment
you are sitting on it.
329
00:13:44,698 --> 00:13:46,116
Ah, Hogan,
another protest, huh?
330
00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:47,201
You're darn right.
331
00:13:47,242 --> 00:13:49,244
It's all over camp
you intend to use Carter
332
00:13:49,244 --> 00:13:50,496
as foreman
on this new plan.
333
00:13:50,537 --> 00:13:51,747
I do?
334
00:13:51,747 --> 00:13:52,748
Sure, because
you know
335
00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:54,291
he understands
how it should work
336
00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:55,459
and he's
the logical man.
337
00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:57,419
Well, that hadn't
occurred to me, but...
338
00:13:57,419 --> 00:13:59,046
It's against
the Geneva Convention
339
00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:00,381
to have
a prisoner of war...
340
00:14:00,422 --> 00:14:01,590
Thank you,
Colonel Hogan.
341
00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:04,468
You have practically ensured
the success of the "Klink plan."
342
00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:06,887
Who calls it
the "Klink plan"?
343
00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:09,598
Some of the gang
back in Berlin.
344
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:10,933
In spite
of my protests,
345
00:14:10,974 --> 00:14:13,143
you're going to use
Carter to supervise
346
00:14:13,185 --> 00:14:15,938
and let him pick his own
men for the loading, too?
347
00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:17,231
Absolutely!
348
00:14:17,272 --> 00:14:19,775
And that's another good idea
you've just given me.
349
00:14:19,775 --> 00:14:21,485
Why can't I keep
my big mouth shut?
350
00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:22,820
Ha!
351
00:14:24,988 --> 00:14:29,618
Klink's orders are to ship the
supplies out day after tomorrow.
352
00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:32,538
Now, they go to
Stalags 4, 9, 11 and 14.
353
00:14:32,579 --> 00:14:34,123
Are you sure
about that?
354
00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:36,667
Never argue
with the foreman.
355
00:14:36,708 --> 00:14:39,253
Kinch, these are the locations
of the four stalags.
356
00:14:39,294 --> 00:14:41,713
I want you to get in touch
with the underground.
357
00:14:41,755 --> 00:14:43,215
Somewhere along these roads,
358
00:14:43,257 --> 00:14:46,176
they've got to stop those trucks
and take the ammunition.
359
00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:47,803
Nice little job.
360
00:14:47,803 --> 00:14:49,785
Newkirk, Carter, I want you to
361
00:14:49,797 --> 00:14:52,057
divide up the
ammo into four lots.
362
00:14:52,099 --> 00:14:55,144
Mark the boxes W, X, Y
and, uh... Z for nitro.
363
00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:56,562
Yes, sir.
All right, sir.
364
00:14:56,603 --> 00:14:59,314
Kinch, radio that information
to the underground, huh?
365
00:14:59,356 --> 00:15:00,607
Will do.
366
00:15:00,649 --> 00:15:01,733
Hold it,
hold it.
367
00:15:01,775 --> 00:15:03,277
Let's get to
the main problem.
368
00:15:03,318 --> 00:15:04,278
There's more?
369
00:15:04,319 --> 00:15:05,320
There's always more.
370
00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:06,530
We got to move
that ammunition
371
00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:08,574
to the storage building
with the other supplies.
372
00:15:08,615 --> 00:15:09,658
And if the Krauts
catch us,
373
00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:11,201
we'll move right on
into the cooler.
374
00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:14,162
Yeah, their next move after that
is the firing squad.
375
00:15:14,204 --> 00:15:15,873
How close is
the nearest tunnel?
376
00:15:15,914 --> 00:15:16,957
Right here.
377
00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:19,334
Holy cow! That comes up
under the guards' barracks.
378
00:15:19,376 --> 00:15:20,669
In Schultz's room.
379
00:15:20,711 --> 00:15:22,337
Yeah, it could be
Piccadilly Circus
380
00:15:22,379 --> 00:15:24,131
for all the good
it's going to do us.
381
00:15:24,172 --> 00:15:25,757
Wrong... it's a break.
382
00:15:25,799 --> 00:15:28,093
That's right next
to the storage building.
383
00:15:28,135 --> 00:15:30,762
Now, we move our boxes
along through the tunnel,
384
00:15:30,804 --> 00:15:32,514
surface in Schultz's room,
385
00:15:32,514 --> 00:15:34,558
across the alley
into the building.
386
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:37,686
You've come out with
some harebrained schemes...
387
00:15:37,728 --> 00:15:39,479
I think
it'll work.
388
00:15:39,521 --> 00:15:41,106
It's optimists
like you, Carter,
389
00:15:41,148 --> 00:15:43,191
that cause all the trouble
in the world.
390
00:15:43,191 --> 00:15:44,443
What about Schultz,
Colonel?
391
00:15:44,484 --> 00:15:45,694
He'll be sleeping
in there.
392
00:15:45,736 --> 00:15:47,821
If he wakes up, even he
will know something's wrong.
393
00:15:47,863 --> 00:15:49,698
LeBeau, I want you
to feed Schultz
394
00:15:49,698 --> 00:15:51,700
some of your strudel
tomorrow night.
395
00:15:51,742 --> 00:15:53,243
That won't
knock him out.
396
00:15:53,285 --> 00:15:55,871
No... but this will.
397
00:15:58,081 --> 00:16:01,793
Beautiful, beautiful!
398
00:16:01,835 --> 00:16:06,173
It is so good, one shouldn't
even call it strudel.
399
00:16:06,214 --> 00:16:08,425
How about caviar?
400
00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:10,761
Caviar? No.
401
00:16:10,802 --> 00:16:12,262
I think I better
call it strudel.
402
00:16:12,304 --> 00:16:14,973
Would you like to have a
nice cup of coffee to go with it?
403
00:16:15,015 --> 00:16:17,392
Oh, ja... the good, strong
amerikanischer Kaffee, ja.
404
00:16:17,434 --> 00:16:19,061
Jawohl.
405
00:16:19,102 --> 00:16:21,355
But it won't keep me
awake, will it?
406
00:16:21,396 --> 00:16:22,356
I think I can
guarantee that.
407
00:16:22,397 --> 00:16:24,149
Good.
408
00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:24,167
Freeze.
409
00:17:24,209 --> 00:17:26,461
Guten Abend, Hogan.
410
00:17:26,461 --> 00:17:28,422
Ho... Hogan, what is it?
411
00:17:28,463 --> 00:17:30,298
What?
412
00:17:30,340 --> 00:17:34,761
You're having a dream...
dream... dream.
413
00:17:34,803 --> 00:17:39,182
But I see men with boxes
over my bed.
414
00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:43,437
It's part of the dream...
dream... dream.
415
00:17:43,478 --> 00:17:46,523
Yeah, but it looks so real.
416
00:17:46,565 --> 00:17:49,901
That's the best kind.
417
00:17:49,943 --> 00:17:51,528
Dream...
418
00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:56,158
dream... dream.
419
00:18:13,258 --> 00:18:15,010
W, X and Y
are all loaded, sir.
420
00:18:15,051 --> 00:18:16,178
Okay, Carter.
421
00:18:16,178 --> 00:18:17,179
That it?
422
00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:18,180
Yeah.
423
00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:19,514
Okay, Z's taken care of.
424
00:18:19,514 --> 00:18:21,516
You're the best
foreman we ever had.
425
00:18:21,558 --> 00:18:23,685
I'd like to try
for a medical discharge
426
00:18:23,727 --> 00:18:25,437
on grounds
of extreme fatigue.
427
00:18:25,478 --> 00:18:27,397
Major Hochstetter...
Who sent for him?
428
00:18:29,524 --> 00:18:32,360
Major Hochstetter, what
a pleasure to see you.
429
00:18:32,360 --> 00:18:33,987
I was just passing by.
430
00:18:34,029 --> 00:18:35,655
If he asks questions,
what do we do?
431
00:18:35,697 --> 00:18:36,907
It's a toss-up.
432
00:18:36,948 --> 00:18:38,909
Either faint dead away
or start crying.
433
00:18:38,950 --> 00:18:40,243
Carter.
434
00:18:40,285 --> 00:18:43,121
Everything's all loaded and
ready to roll out, Commandant.
435
00:18:43,163 --> 00:18:43,914
Thank you,
Carter.
436
00:18:43,955 --> 00:18:45,040
Schultz!
437
00:18:45,081 --> 00:18:46,124
Wait a minute.
438
00:18:46,166 --> 00:18:47,626
Wh... what do you
mean, Herr Major?
439
00:18:47,667 --> 00:18:48,919
Wine?
440
00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:50,211
It's going
to Stalag 11,
441
00:18:50,253 --> 00:18:52,088
requisitioned
to the officers' mess
442
00:18:52,130 --> 00:18:53,798
for a birthday party.
443
00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:55,425
Wine!
444
00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:57,218
Birthday parties
in wartime!
445
00:18:57,260 --> 00:18:58,511
Whose birthday?
446
00:18:58,553 --> 00:18:59,971
The Führer's birthday.
447
00:19:00,013 --> 00:19:01,097
Why didn't you say so?
448
00:19:05,393 --> 00:19:07,354
Sergeant Schultz!
449
00:19:07,395 --> 00:19:09,731
Let the trucks move out!
450
00:19:09,731 --> 00:19:11,358
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
451
00:19:11,399 --> 00:19:12,901
Fortunately,
Major Hochstetter,
452
00:19:12,943 --> 00:19:15,904
you are just in time to see the
"Klink plan" begin operations.
453
00:19:15,904 --> 00:19:17,197
Amazing, isn't it?
454
00:19:17,238 --> 00:19:18,573
It will be if it works.
455
00:19:18,615 --> 00:19:19,950
You were not able
to operate
456
00:19:19,991 --> 00:19:22,202
the business of this camp
under the old plan;
457
00:19:22,243 --> 00:19:23,912
why should anyone
expect you to...
458
00:19:23,912 --> 00:19:26,039
I think, sir, you're
jumping to conclusions.
459
00:19:26,081 --> 00:19:27,916
Yeah, well, if this plan
does not work,
460
00:19:27,916 --> 00:19:29,250
the Gestapo will
jump on you.
461
00:19:29,292 --> 00:19:30,543
Heil Hitler.
462
00:19:30,585 --> 00:19:31,586
Heil Hitler.
463
00:19:34,589 --> 00:19:36,925
You have some very
nice friends, Commandant.
464
00:19:36,925 --> 00:19:38,426
That Hochstetter...
465
00:19:38,426 --> 00:19:40,970
He's going to make me
an old man before my time.
466
00:19:41,012 --> 00:19:41,971
What did you say,
Grandpa?
467
00:19:44,599 --> 00:19:46,142
We hit the jackpot, Colonel.
468
00:19:46,226 --> 00:19:47,977
The underground got
all the ammo.
469
00:19:49,896 --> 00:19:51,064
We've got a play-by-play.
470
00:19:51,106 --> 00:19:53,233
The first gang did it
wearing German uniforms.
471
00:19:53,274 --> 00:19:55,694
They even signed a receipt
for the boxes marked "W."
472
00:19:55,735 --> 00:19:57,278
Clever, clever.
473
00:19:57,320 --> 00:19:59,698
Now, the second group, they shot
out one of the truck's tires.
474
00:19:59,739 --> 00:20:00,949
The Krauts stopped
to change it...
475
00:20:01,991 --> 00:20:03,076
There goes the "X" shipment.
476
00:20:03,118 --> 00:20:04,119
The third bunch got theirs
477
00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:05,954
while the driver and his pal
were eating lunch.
478
00:20:05,954 --> 00:20:08,289
And the last group,
the "Z" boxes...
479
00:20:08,289 --> 00:20:10,458
They simply blocked the road.
480
00:20:12,585 --> 00:20:14,629
We owe it all
to the Carter plan.
481
00:20:14,629 --> 00:20:16,214
Aw, heck,
it was nothing.
482
00:20:16,256 --> 00:20:18,007
Yeah, that's true enough,
but it turned the trick.
483
00:20:18,049 --> 00:20:19,259
Let's get in touch
with London,
484
00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:20,260
tell them
"Mission accomplished."
485
00:20:20,301 --> 00:20:21,386
Right.
486
00:20:21,428 --> 00:20:22,095
Colonel Hogan...
487
00:20:23,638 --> 00:20:25,056
Somebody call
for room service?
488
00:20:25,098 --> 00:20:27,434
Colonel Klink wants
to see you and Sergeant Carter
489
00:20:27,475 --> 00:20:28,643
in his quarters
at once.
490
00:20:28,685 --> 00:20:29,644
What for?
491
00:20:29,686 --> 00:20:30,728
Me, Schultz?
492
00:20:30,770 --> 00:20:35,984
He says he has a little surprise
for both of you.
493
00:20:35,984 --> 00:20:38,695
You don't get a minute to
yourself in this war, do you?
494
00:20:38,736 --> 00:20:39,863
Let's go.
495
00:20:45,326 --> 00:20:48,872
How is the strudel
situation tonight?
496
00:20:48,913 --> 00:20:50,081
Forget it.
497
00:20:50,123 --> 00:20:53,334
That's only
for special occasions.
498
00:20:53,376 --> 00:20:55,420
That strudel
is wunderbar.
499
00:20:55,462 --> 00:21:00,049
After you eat it, you sleep
like a little baby.
500
00:21:00,091 --> 00:21:01,759
You sent for us, Commandant?
501
00:21:01,801 --> 00:21:03,344
Ah! Yes, come in,
come in.
502
00:21:03,344 --> 00:21:06,014
Oh, all the stalags
report supplies received.
503
00:21:06,055 --> 00:21:07,390
The plan is a success.
504
00:21:07,432 --> 00:21:08,933
Oh, congratulations, sir.
505
00:21:08,975 --> 00:21:10,977
Yeah, that's very
gratifying, sir.
506
00:21:11,019 --> 00:21:14,355
And now I think we should
have a little celebration, huh?
507
00:21:14,397 --> 00:21:16,983
And you keep telling everybody
he's a monster.
508
00:21:17,025 --> 00:21:18,776
Oh, ho-ho.
509
00:21:18,818 --> 00:21:20,361
On that last truck,
510
00:21:20,361 --> 00:21:22,947
there were a few cases of wine
for the officers.
511
00:21:22,989 --> 00:21:23,948
Wine?
512
00:21:23,990 --> 00:21:30,705
And I had Sergeant Schultz
borrow one for me.
513
00:21:33,708 --> 00:21:34,876
It's got a "Z"
on it.
514
00:21:35,126 --> 00:21:36,211
What?
515
00:21:36,252 --> 00:21:37,295
Yeah, a "Z."
516
00:21:37,337 --> 00:21:38,379
It was a vintage year.
517
00:21:38,379 --> 00:21:39,797
Oh, yes!
518
00:21:39,839 --> 00:21:41,132
Well, I'll just open it.
519
00:21:41,174 --> 00:21:42,800
No, no, no!
We'll open it for you.
520
00:21:42,842 --> 00:21:43,801
Carter, pick that up.
521
00:21:43,843 --> 00:21:44,802
Oh, please
don't bother.
522
00:21:44,844 --> 00:21:45,887
No, you'll mess up
your room, sir.
523
00:21:45,887 --> 00:21:46,971
But...
524
00:21:47,013 --> 00:21:47,972
Carter, pick it up.
525
00:21:48,014 --> 00:21:49,933
Pick it up, Carter.
526
00:21:49,974 --> 00:21:51,768
He's tired.
527
00:21:51,809 --> 00:21:53,895
A foreman's job is not easy.
528
00:21:53,937 --> 00:21:57,565
We'll... here! be right back.
529
00:21:59,817 --> 00:22:01,945
Settle down,
will you?
530
00:22:01,986 --> 00:22:03,780
What will I do?
531
00:22:03,821 --> 00:22:04,781
Listen carefully.
532
00:22:04,822 --> 00:22:06,074
Take it back
to the hut.
533
00:22:06,115 --> 00:22:07,492
Put a charge on it
and a timer.
534
00:22:07,533 --> 00:22:08,534
Set it for 60 seconds.
535
00:22:08,576 --> 00:22:10,328
Then leave it out
in the compound
536
00:22:10,370 --> 00:22:11,913
where it won't hurt anybody.
537
00:22:11,955 --> 00:22:12,914
I'll stall Klink.
538
00:22:12,956 --> 00:22:14,207
You get back here
after you set it off.
539
00:22:14,248 --> 00:22:15,208
Understood?
540
00:22:15,249 --> 00:22:16,459
Understood.
541
00:22:16,501 --> 00:22:17,585
Boy, everything
was going so well.
542
00:22:17,627 --> 00:22:18,628
Move.
543
00:22:19,879 --> 00:22:22,131
Boy, if Klink had
opened this box...
544
00:22:22,173 --> 00:22:23,341
Don't talk... work.
545
00:22:23,383 --> 00:22:25,802
We want it set for
60 seconds, Andrew?
546
00:22:25,843 --> 00:22:27,637
That's what
the colonel said.
547
00:22:27,679 --> 00:22:28,638
Get on with it.
548
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:29,931
You want to do this?
549
00:22:29,973 --> 00:22:30,765
I don't enjoy...
550
00:22:31,099 --> 00:22:32,600
Shh.
551
00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:34,663
You know, we
Germans have a great
552
00:22:34,675 --> 00:22:36,688
talent for plans and inventions.
553
00:22:36,729 --> 00:22:38,231
That's true.
554
00:22:38,272 --> 00:22:39,399
You invented Hitler.
555
00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:40,942
Yes, we...
556
00:22:40,942 --> 00:22:43,111
Oh, that's
very good, Hogan!
557
00:22:43,111 --> 00:22:46,656
It's amazing what you
can do with a Tinkertoy.
558
00:22:56,624 --> 00:22:59,127
I wonder what's taking him
so long with that wine.
559
00:22:59,127 --> 00:23:00,795
He's probably dusting
the bottles.
560
00:23:00,795 --> 00:23:02,130
Of course.
561
00:23:02,171 --> 00:23:04,716
You know, Sergeant Carter
is a very thoughtful man.
562
00:23:04,757 --> 00:23:06,050
I hope so.
563
00:23:07,468 --> 00:23:09,178
Colonel...
564
00:23:09,220 --> 00:23:10,388
Where's the wine?
565
00:23:10,430 --> 00:23:12,974
Well, there was something
wrong with that box.
566
00:23:13,015 --> 00:23:14,183
I left it outside.
567
00:23:14,225 --> 00:23:15,435
Something wrong?
568
00:23:15,476 --> 00:23:17,979
It was making ticking
noises, funny noises.
569
00:23:17,979 --> 00:23:19,355
Ticking?
570
00:23:19,397 --> 00:23:20,815
Nonsense.
571
00:23:20,857 --> 00:23:22,191
I'll have a look at it.
572
00:23:31,033 --> 00:23:32,118
What happened?
573
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:33,828
My guess would be
Major Hochstetter.
574
00:23:33,870 --> 00:23:34,829
The Gestapo?
575
00:23:34,871 --> 00:23:36,164
Right.
576
00:23:36,164 --> 00:23:38,082
Couldn't stand your
plan being a success.
577
00:23:38,124 --> 00:23:39,709
He tried getting
you another way.
578
00:23:39,750 --> 00:23:40,960
That's terrible.
579
00:23:41,002 --> 00:23:42,170
It's that man or me,
580
00:23:42,170 --> 00:23:44,464
and I've got to find
a way to get at him first.
581
00:23:44,505 --> 00:23:45,798
Carter?
582
00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:47,175
Sir.
583
00:23:47,216 --> 00:23:49,510
You think you can come
up with a plan for that?
584
00:23:49,510 --> 00:23:50,761
Piece of pie.
585
00:23:50,803 --> 00:23:53,723
Uh... he means "cake."
586
00:23:59,061 --> 00:24:00,521
Yes, Herr General.
587
00:24:00,521 --> 00:24:01,814
Carry on with the plan.
588
00:24:01,856 --> 00:24:03,191
Yes, sir.
589
00:24:03,232 --> 00:24:05,234
Oh, sir, when you have time,
590
00:24:05,276 --> 00:24:08,112
I would like to discuss
a matter with you
591
00:24:08,154 --> 00:24:10,239
concerning Major Hochstetter.
592
00:24:10,281 --> 00:24:11,741
Forget it?
593
00:24:11,782 --> 00:24:13,284
Don't be an idiot?
594
00:24:13,326 --> 00:24:14,702
Yes, sir, I'll try.
595
00:24:14,744 --> 00:24:15,870
Thank you, sir.
596
00:24:15,912 --> 00:24:16,996
Heil Hitler.
597
00:24:17,038 --> 00:24:18,456
He's very pleased.
598
00:24:18,498 --> 00:24:19,874
I'm to continue
with the plan.
599
00:24:19,874 --> 00:24:21,375
Congratulations, sir.
600
00:24:21,375 --> 00:24:24,045
Believe me, Hogan,
this will make me general.
601
00:24:24,086 --> 00:24:25,880
Before this war is over,
602
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:27,798
you will see the
insignia right here.
603
00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:29,634
I better start thinking
about a gift for you.
604
00:24:29,675 --> 00:24:30,635
I'll talk to the boys.
605
00:24:30,676 --> 00:24:31,969
What will it be?
What, huh?
606
00:24:32,011 --> 00:24:33,012
Oh, I don't know.
607
00:24:33,054 --> 00:24:34,555
Maybe we'll chip in
with the Gestapo
608
00:24:34,555 --> 00:24:35,723
and buy you a case of wine.
609
00:24:35,765 --> 00:24:37,391
Oh, a case of...
610
00:24:37,391 --> 00:24:40,603
Dismissed!
42375
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