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1
00:00:52,094 --> 00:00:53,053
Hmm.
2
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:58,558
Interesting,
very interesting.
3
00:00:58,600 --> 00:00:59,643
Hmm.
4
00:01:06,942 --> 00:01:10,904
Concentration, Hogan...
That's the answer.
5
00:01:10,946 --> 00:01:14,533
And knowing exactly
what to look for.
6
00:01:14,574 --> 00:01:15,617
Mm-hmm.
7
00:01:18,662 --> 00:01:20,664
Yep.
8
00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:22,499
You're so right,
Commandant.
9
00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:25,168
My move?
10
00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:26,920
Not... quite.
11
00:01:29,297 --> 00:01:30,882
Your dinner, Herr Kommandant.
12
00:01:35,178 --> 00:01:36,888
Mm-hmm!
13
00:02:07,753 --> 00:02:09,004
I've got you.
14
00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:12,632
Checkmate.
15
00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:14,301
How do you do it, sir?
16
00:02:14,342 --> 00:02:15,761
That's fantastic!
17
00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,679
It's very simple, Hogan:
18
00:02:17,721 --> 00:02:21,016
I play chess exactly
like I run Stalag 13...
19
00:02:21,057 --> 00:02:25,437
Eyes open,
watching your every move.
20
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:27,105
I, uh... must say,
Commandant,
21
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:29,357
I wish you wouldn't
eat when you play.
22
00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:31,276
You got grease
all over these pieces.
23
00:02:32,903 --> 00:02:33,904
I did?
24
00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:34,946
Mm-hmm.
25
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:37,282
The way you wolfed
that chicken leg down...
26
00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:38,575
Bad for the digestion.
27
00:02:40,243 --> 00:02:41,495
I'm still hungry.
28
00:02:41,536 --> 00:02:43,413
Well, you left
your vegetables and potato.
29
00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:45,290
If you're going to leave
that much food,
30
00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:47,209
I'm going to bring
a doggy bag over here.
31
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,046
Come in.
32
00:02:51,087 --> 00:02:52,047
Excuse me, sir.
33
00:02:52,088 --> 00:02:54,007
Colonel Hogan,
you're needed at the hut.
34
00:02:54,049 --> 00:02:55,634
Okay.
35
00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:57,469
Another game later,
Commandant?
36
00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:59,804
Hogan, when will you
ever give up, huh?
37
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:00,764
Beat you again, Colonel?
38
00:03:00,805 --> 00:03:01,932
Uh-huh.
39
00:03:01,932 --> 00:03:03,433
Sir, you're letting
our side down.
40
00:03:17,405 --> 00:03:18,949
Have Kinch pass
those train schedules
41
00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:19,783
on to headquarters,
huh?
42
00:03:19,824 --> 00:03:20,951
What's up?
43
00:03:20,992 --> 00:03:21,952
Message from London.
44
00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:24,162
One of our agents posing
as a German officer
45
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:25,205
got himself wounded.
46
00:03:25,247 --> 00:03:26,456
Where is he?
47
00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,750
Well, they're going to bring
him into a local hospital.
48
00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,502
He's got a lot of
top secret information.
49
00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:31,711
And they want us
to get it?
50
00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:32,921
Right.
51
00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:36,508
The only thing is, how do
we get into a German hospital?
52
00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:38,468
Have to visit
a sick German.
53
00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:41,388
They won't let a
prisoner in to see a Kraut.
54
00:03:41,429 --> 00:03:43,348
They will if it's Klink.
55
00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:44,349
He's not sick.
56
00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:45,809
No, but he's
going to be.
57
00:04:03,535 --> 00:04:05,620
The contact's name
is Major Zimmer.
58
00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:07,872
Recognition code,
one word: Moonglow.
59
00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,749
He's got important
information.
60
00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:11,084
London wants it fast.
61
00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:12,127
They always do.
62
00:04:12,168 --> 00:04:13,420
Tell them we'll try.
63
00:04:13,461 --> 00:04:16,006
May one inquire how you
expect to get into that hospital?
64
00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:17,841
Klink's going to be
our ticket, I hope.
65
00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:20,176
Colonel Hogan,
Commandant Klink wants his car.
66
00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:22,470
Help yourself, Schultz,
and good luck to you.
67
00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:24,055
Hey, guys, what are you doing?
68
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:25,181
Who? Us?
69
00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:27,559
Well, what does it look
like we're doing, Schultz?
70
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:29,894
We are building
a giant metal Wiener schnitzel.
71
00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:31,563
Oh, come on.
72
00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:33,231
And then we send it to Hitler.
73
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:34,232
For his birthday.
74
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,692
Ridiculous.
75
00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:37,861
But it's not bad.
76
00:04:37,902 --> 00:04:39,029
Schultz, we're repairing
77
00:04:39,029 --> 00:04:40,780
the bloody commandant's car,
aren't we?
78
00:04:40,822 --> 00:04:42,574
And the commandant
wants it right away!
79
00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:43,575
Well, it's not ready!
80
00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:45,160
Well, he must have it
right away!
81
00:04:45,201 --> 00:04:46,161
His orders.
82
00:04:46,202 --> 00:04:47,203
He can't have it!
83
00:04:47,245 --> 00:04:48,580
What do you mean,
he can't have it?
84
00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:55,837
Donnerwetter!
85
00:04:55,879 --> 00:04:58,006
No, actually it's
wheel bearing trouble.
86
00:04:58,048 --> 00:04:59,841
Commandant Klink
is going to kill me.
87
00:04:59,883 --> 00:05:00,884
It's war, Schultzy.
88
00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:02,719
You should have thought
of that, mate,
89
00:05:02,761 --> 00:05:04,220
before you marched
into Poland.
90
00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:06,473
Schultz!
91
00:05:06,514 --> 00:05:07,807
Trouble.
92
00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:09,142
Trouble,
trouble!
93
00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:13,730
Why isn't
the car ready?
94
00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:15,899
H-Herr Kommandant,
it is them.
95
00:05:15,899 --> 00:05:16,941
They... they...
96
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:19,527
they... they didn't!
97
00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:20,487
Commandant...
98
00:05:20,528 --> 00:05:21,571
The men are sorry.
99
00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:23,782
They're trying to do a
good job and it takes time.
100
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:25,825
Mm-hmm... up to your old
tricks again, Hogan, huh?
101
00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:26,993
Me, sir?
102
00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:28,953
Hogan, you'll
never learn.
103
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:30,163
I'm on to you.
104
00:05:30,205 --> 00:05:33,958
If your purpose is to delay
the German war machine,
105
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,084
it won't work.
106
00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:36,669
Schultz, my motorcycle.
107
00:05:36,711 --> 00:05:38,922
- Jawohl,
- Herr Kommandant.
108
00:05:38,963 --> 00:05:40,131
I wouldn't do that, sir.
109
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:41,257
I mean, it's
in need of repair.
110
00:05:41,299 --> 00:05:42,425
Huh!
111
00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:43,593
It's not safe.
112
00:05:43,635 --> 00:05:44,594
Sir!
113
00:05:44,636 --> 00:05:47,514
Hogan, stop your
foolish little game.
114
00:05:47,555 --> 00:05:48,640
It won't work.
115
00:05:48,681 --> 00:05:51,017
I'm on to your every thought.
116
00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:54,854
When will you learn that
the German mind is superior?
117
00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:55,855
Schultz, let's go.
118
00:06:00,109 --> 00:06:01,110
Don't move, sir.
119
00:06:01,110 --> 00:06:02,153
Don't move.
120
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,947
Hogan, this is your fault.
121
00:06:03,988 --> 00:06:04,989
My fault?
122
00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:06,241
I told you not to take it.
123
00:06:06,282 --> 00:06:08,034
Carter, you'd better
get an ambulance.
124
00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:09,619
I don't need an ambulance,
I'm all right.
125
00:06:09,661 --> 00:06:10,745
All right?
126
00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:12,830
That's the worst case
of whiplash I've ever seen.
127
00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:14,457
Here, does that hurt?
128
00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:15,875
Yes!
129
00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:19,712
Oh, boy, it's not just whiplash,
probably brain damage, too.
130
00:06:19,754 --> 00:06:20,797
Hurry, Carter, hurry!
131
00:06:22,298 --> 00:06:23,299
Why didn't he believe me?
132
00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:24,300
Why?
133
00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:25,969
I'll tell you why...
134
00:06:26,010 --> 00:06:29,472
Because he's a stubborn,
mean, rotten, old...
135
00:06:29,472 --> 00:06:31,307
Schultz!
136
00:06:31,307 --> 00:06:32,392
I'm surprised at you.
137
00:06:32,433 --> 00:06:34,561
Aren't you even going
to visit him in the hospital?
138
00:06:34,602 --> 00:06:36,271
I know he'd love
to see a friendly face.
139
00:06:36,312 --> 00:06:37,272
Hmm.
140
00:06:37,313 --> 00:06:38,690
That leaves me out.
141
00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:41,693
I wouldn't waste my time
going to see him
142
00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:43,611
for anything in the world.
143
00:06:43,778 --> 00:06:44,696
Okay, Schultz.
144
00:06:44,779 --> 00:06:46,364
He'll recover, come back here
145
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,199
and remember
you didn't visit him.
146
00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:49,325
So what?
147
00:06:49,325 --> 00:06:51,119
So how are things at Stalingrad?
148
00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:55,331
I'll go and pick up some
nice flowers on my way.
149
00:06:55,373 --> 00:06:57,333
Mind if I come along?
150
00:06:57,333 --> 00:06:58,334
You, Colonel Hogan?
151
00:06:58,334 --> 00:06:59,460
Klink needs us,
Schultz.
152
00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:01,337
I know my visit will mean
a lot... to both of us.
153
00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:07,593
Just a minute,
Schultz.
154
00:07:07,635 --> 00:07:08,594
Excuse me.
155
00:07:08,636 --> 00:07:10,555
Could you tell me what room
Major Zimmer's in?
156
00:07:10,596 --> 00:07:11,931
Zimmer?
157
00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:13,683
Oh, yes, he's one
of the wounded
158
00:07:13,683 --> 00:07:15,685
on the train arriving
at 10:00 tonight.
159
00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:16,644
10:00 tonight.
160
00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:17,770
Thank you.
161
00:07:17,812 --> 00:07:19,105
Who is Major Zimmer?
162
00:07:19,147 --> 00:07:20,356
Oh, just a friend.
163
00:07:20,356 --> 00:07:22,775
How did you know he
was going to be here?
164
00:07:22,817 --> 00:07:23,901
Letter from home.
165
00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:26,029
But if he was
just wounded...
166
00:07:26,070 --> 00:07:26,946
Air mail.
167
00:07:26,988 --> 00:07:27,822
Oh.
168
00:07:29,657 --> 00:07:31,409
Do I feel feverish to you?
169
00:07:31,492 --> 00:07:32,744
No, Colonel.
170
00:07:32,827 --> 00:07:34,370
Oh, it's probably
your presence.
171
00:07:34,370 --> 00:07:36,456
You don't mind if
I call you Gerta, do you?
172
00:07:36,497 --> 00:07:38,332
Oh, what a lovely
little hand.
173
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,295
You have visitors,
Colonel.
174
00:07:42,336 --> 00:07:43,337
Visitors?
175
00:07:45,339 --> 00:07:49,427
Herr Kommandant, Sergeant
Schultz reporting for a visit...
176
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:50,553
One visit.
177
00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:51,554
What are you
doing here?
178
00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:53,222
You're responsible
for my being here.
179
00:07:53,264 --> 00:07:54,640
How are they
treating you, sir?
180
00:07:54,682 --> 00:07:55,683
You feeling well?
181
00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:57,727
You tried to kill me,
that's what you did.
182
00:07:57,810 --> 00:07:59,937
That's cruel, sir,
and I don't deserve it!
183
00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:01,355
You deserve it, you deserve it.
184
00:08:01,397 --> 00:08:03,107
I know we're enemies, but...
185
00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:06,652
well, it's... it's like
Wellington felt about Napoleon...
186
00:08:06,694 --> 00:08:09,447
He fought him,
but he had to admire the mind.
187
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,656
Napoleon?
188
00:08:10,698 --> 00:08:14,327
I know it's wrong, but, in a
way, I've put you on a pedestal.
189
00:08:14,368 --> 00:08:15,912
I had no idea, Hogan.
190
00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:20,583
Colonel, the results
of your tests are in...
191
00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:22,085
All negative.
192
00:08:22,126 --> 00:08:24,504
And Dr. Klaus says
you may leave.
193
00:08:24,545 --> 00:08:26,255
Thank you, Nurse Gerta.
194
00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:27,799
Schultz, check with the orderly
195
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:29,801
and see what they've done
with my uniform.
196
00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:31,427
Jawohl,
Herr Kommandant.
197
00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:34,388
Oh, Herr Kommandant,
if you keep any records,
198
00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:37,099
will you please put me down
for one visit?
199
00:08:38,267 --> 00:08:39,435
You can't leave,
Colonel.
200
00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:40,436
You're not well.
201
00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:41,979
You have a head injury,
whiplash.
202
00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:43,564
You should be
under observation.
203
00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:44,899
Oh, yes.
For days.
204
00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:46,609
Mm-hmm.
Weeks, months.
205
00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:48,569
At least until
10:00 tonight.
206
00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:51,322
I think Dr. Klaus
knows what he's doing.
207
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:53,574
Which patient
are you talking about?
208
00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:55,368
Klink, Klink...
Wilhelm Klink.
209
00:08:55,409 --> 00:08:56,494
He's in room 216.
210
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,454
Don't give up,
Doctor.
211
00:08:58,496 --> 00:09:01,249
I know these hands
can save him.
212
00:09:01,290 --> 00:09:02,625
Ja, ja, danke.
213
00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:03,668
Klink, huh?
214
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:04,794
Uh-huh.
215
00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:06,629
Wilhelm Klink.
216
00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:08,422
Wilhelm...
Ja, ja, here.
217
00:09:08,464 --> 00:09:10,007
He's leaving us today.
218
00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:11,175
Oh, it's much too soon.
219
00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:13,970
I don't know how you could
even consider releasing him.
220
00:09:14,011 --> 00:09:15,638
Well, we are not
forcing him out.
221
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:18,307
If the colonel feels that
he is not ready to leave,
222
00:09:18,307 --> 00:09:19,767
we would insist
that he stay.
223
00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:21,018
Thank you, Dr. Klaus,
thank you.
224
00:09:21,769 --> 00:09:23,312
Hogan!
225
00:09:23,354 --> 00:09:26,649
Why are you trying
to make me stay here, huh?
226
00:09:26,649 --> 00:09:27,858
Why?
227
00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:30,486
No use trying to outsmart
you, but I had to try.
228
00:09:31,612 --> 00:09:32,822
She was desperate.
229
00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:33,990
She begged me.
230
00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:35,700
I... I couldn't refuse.
231
00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:36,909
"She"?
232
00:09:36,951 --> 00:09:38,327
Gerta, your nurse.
233
00:09:38,327 --> 00:09:41,289
I found her crying
in the linen closet.
234
00:09:41,330 --> 00:09:44,000
Poor kid, she heard
you were leaving.
235
00:09:44,041 --> 00:09:46,460
Something about
a woman's tears.
236
00:09:46,502 --> 00:09:47,628
But why would Gerta...?
237
00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:49,630
You underestimate
yourself, Commandant.
238
00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:51,299
She lost her heart.
239
00:09:51,340 --> 00:09:52,675
She did?
240
00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:56,178
Anything... anything just to
spend one evening with you...
241
00:09:56,178 --> 00:09:59,348
To have those lifelong
memories with her forever.
242
00:09:59,348 --> 00:10:00,641
I told her I'd try.
243
00:10:00,683 --> 00:10:01,684
I see.
244
00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:05,521
All that affection just
waiting to be released.
245
00:10:05,521 --> 00:10:07,356
But you know best.
246
00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:11,277
Your uniform,
Herr Kommandant.
247
00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:12,778
Put it in the closet,
Schultz.
248
00:10:12,820 --> 00:10:14,113
Jawohl,
Herr Kommandant.
249
00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:15,698
I won't be leaving right away.
250
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:17,199
♪ Ba-dum, ba-dum, da, da.
251
00:10:17,241 --> 00:10:20,119
Oh, Hogan, you could have
told me that to begin with.
252
00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:21,537
I understand
these things.
253
00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:23,039
Yeah, just be
gentle, sir.
254
00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:24,040
She deserves it.
255
00:10:33,215 --> 00:10:36,135
What are you
doing here?
256
00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:39,472
Oh, Dr. Klaus wants you
to have a copy of his book.
257
00:10:39,513 --> 00:10:42,183
He's giving them
to everyone in the hospital.
258
00:10:43,934 --> 00:10:45,311
Where's my Nurse Gerta?
259
00:10:45,353 --> 00:10:47,063
Oh, she's off duty.
260
00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:48,981
I'm taking her place.
261
00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:51,484
If you need anything,
just call me.
262
00:10:56,655 --> 00:10:58,240
She gave up hope,
poor kid.
263
00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:00,034
Schultz, bring me my uniform.
264
00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:01,285
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
265
00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:02,453
And hurry up about it.
266
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:03,913
Jawohl.
267
00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:05,081
I can't wear that!
268
00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:07,583
Go back to camp,
get me a fresh uniform,
269
00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:09,168
and take Hogan with you.
270
00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:10,002
Out!
271
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:15,716
I can't understand it.
272
00:11:15,758 --> 00:11:18,177
How could Klink go
through a crash like that
273
00:11:18,219 --> 00:11:19,512
and not break anything?
274
00:11:19,553 --> 00:11:20,971
Luck of
the Irish.
275
00:11:21,013 --> 00:11:22,056
My fault, I guess...
276
00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:24,850
I just didn't sabotage that
bloody motorcycle enough.
277
00:11:24,892 --> 00:11:25,893
Next time,
try
278
00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:28,062
for a collarbone or
a wrist or something.
279
00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:30,439
I'm a soldier,
not a surgeon!
280
00:11:30,481 --> 00:11:31,440
All right!
281
00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:32,233
Forget it.
282
00:11:34,443 --> 00:11:35,778
We got a problem.
283
00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:36,779
Right.
284
00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:38,072
Klink's leaving the hospital,
285
00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:40,366
so how do we get in there
tonight to contact Zimmer?
286
00:11:40,407 --> 00:11:41,909
It's simple...
Get somebody else
287
00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:43,077
admitted to
the hospital.
288
00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:44,120
Somebody else?
289
00:11:44,161 --> 00:11:45,454
Just who did you
have in mind?
290
00:11:45,496 --> 00:11:46,497
I'm busy.
291
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:48,290
And besides,
I'm too healthy.
292
00:11:48,290 --> 00:11:52,002
Well, who's going to volunteer
to jump off the roof?
293
00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:54,839
Come on, guys, what's one little
broken leg for the war effort?
294
00:11:56,507 --> 00:11:57,758
Sprained ankle?
295
00:11:59,093 --> 00:12:00,469
Sore throat?
296
00:12:00,469 --> 00:12:02,930
Anybody?
297
00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:04,598
Would you like to pick
your own sickness?
298
00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:05,891
It's no good.
299
00:12:05,933 --> 00:12:08,060
Anyway, that hospital is
only for Luftwaffe officers.
300
00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:09,603
They wouldn't send
any of us there.
301
00:12:09,645 --> 00:12:11,313
LeBeau's right...
We've had it.
302
00:12:11,355 --> 00:12:13,357
Looks like we're dead.
303
00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:15,526
Not dead, maybe a little sick.
304
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:19,905
What if we picked one of the
doctor's favorite diseases, huh?
305
00:12:19,947 --> 00:12:22,825
We might get his interest.
306
00:12:22,825 --> 00:12:24,493
How's that one sound?
307
00:12:26,036 --> 00:12:31,542
"One of the rare diseases of the
far north is polaris extremis.
308
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:34,461
"It is found only among Eskimos.
309
00:12:34,503 --> 00:12:38,132
"Symptoms are pain
in nerve endings in fingers,
310
00:12:38,173 --> 00:12:40,676
"craving for greens in the diet,
311
00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:45,055
peripheral motor vascular spasms
in anterior mandible cartilage."
312
00:12:45,097 --> 00:12:47,850
Ho-ho... sounds a bit naughty,
doesn't it?
313
00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:49,184
It's interesting,
though.
314
00:12:49,184 --> 00:12:50,644
Yeah, I think the butler did it.
315
00:12:50,686 --> 00:12:53,063
A guy could get sick
just reading the symptoms.
316
00:12:53,105 --> 00:12:55,190
All right, all right,
come on, come on... read it.
317
00:12:55,232 --> 00:12:56,400
This is
the important part.
318
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:57,568
Right, sir.
319
00:12:57,610 --> 00:13:00,529
"Only known effective
treatment for polaris extremis
320
00:13:00,571 --> 00:13:02,531
is extended bed rest
in hospital."
321
00:13:02,531 --> 00:13:03,532
That's it.
322
00:13:03,532 --> 00:13:04,575
I don't get it.
323
00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:06,785
You don't, but I do.
324
00:13:06,827 --> 00:13:08,162
Kinch, notify London tonight.
325
00:13:08,203 --> 00:13:09,496
LeBeau, get out my old parka.
326
00:13:09,538 --> 00:13:11,582
Newkirk, you're going
to the hospital with me.
327
00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:13,375
You're going to bring
the message back.
328
00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:15,085
Now, let's go over
the symptoms again.
329
00:13:15,127 --> 00:13:19,214
Colonel, are you going to get
that polaris extremis?
330
00:13:19,256 --> 00:13:21,133
That's right, Carter.
331
00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:22,134
Boy, that's tough.
332
00:13:22,176 --> 00:13:23,427
Why?
333
00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:25,929
Well, I don't think your
insurance covers it.
334
00:13:34,271 --> 00:13:35,564
You are fine
now, Colonel,
335
00:13:35,564 --> 00:13:37,649
but take it easy for
the next few days, ja?
336
00:13:37,691 --> 00:13:38,650
Ja, ja, ja.
337
00:13:39,735 --> 00:13:40,986
Come, come.
338
00:13:41,028 --> 00:13:42,029
Ah, my uniform.
339
00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:43,322
Good, good.
340
00:13:43,364 --> 00:13:45,699
Ah, it's good to see you're
fully recovered, Colonel.
341
00:13:45,741 --> 00:13:46,742
Iron constitution...
342
00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:48,577
Clean living does it
every time, Schultz.
343
00:13:48,577 --> 00:13:49,870
Hogan, what are you doing here?
344
00:13:49,912 --> 00:13:51,830
Herr Kommandant,
please, I told him...
345
00:13:51,872 --> 00:13:53,082
I had to come, Colonel.
346
00:13:53,082 --> 00:13:55,542
I found the man responsible
for the motorcycle.
347
00:13:55,584 --> 00:13:57,378
I want him to see
the pain and suffering
348
00:13:57,419 --> 00:13:58,962
caused by his
criminal negligence.
349
00:13:59,004 --> 00:14:00,964
You! In here.
350
00:14:04,051 --> 00:14:05,761
Do you see what you've done?
351
00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:07,513
Well, I've never been
any good, have I?
352
00:14:07,554 --> 00:14:08,889
I've been a bad'n
all me life.
353
00:14:08,931 --> 00:14:11,058
I have a nephew
like him.
354
00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:12,101
It's terrible!
355
00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:12,893
Shut up.
356
00:14:12,935 --> 00:14:13,894
The men hoped you'd give him
357
00:14:13,936 --> 00:14:14,895
severe punishment, sir.
358
00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:16,855
I'll take care of this
at Stalag 13.
359
00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:20,609
We certainly want
to thank you, Doctor,
360
00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:22,111
for all that you've done
for him.
361
00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:23,112
It's nothing.
362
00:14:23,112 --> 00:14:24,446
By the way,
as long as I'm here,
363
00:14:24,488 --> 00:14:25,405
I thought you might...
364
00:14:25,447 --> 00:14:27,574
Eskimo.
365
00:14:27,616 --> 00:14:29,785
Oh, it's a little something
my mother made for me.
366
00:14:29,785 --> 00:14:30,911
Helps fight off the cold.
367
00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:33,831
What is it?
368
00:14:33,872 --> 00:14:35,874
Oh, it's just the usual...
369
00:14:35,916 --> 00:14:38,502
Peripheral motor
vascular spasms.
370
00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:39,795
Are you all right now?
371
00:14:39,795 --> 00:14:42,923
Mandible cartilage
kicking up again.
372
00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:46,885
There is a lot of that
going around nowadays.
373
00:14:46,927 --> 00:14:48,554
You know,
I have always
374
00:14:48,595 --> 00:14:50,889
been interested
in Eskimo life.
375
00:14:50,931 --> 00:14:54,143
Ja, I spent three years
in Alaska, near Anchorage.
376
00:14:54,184 --> 00:14:55,144
Really?
377
00:14:55,185 --> 00:14:56,687
Maybe you met
my grandmother.
378
00:14:56,728 --> 00:14:58,689
She was one of
the Anchorage Eskimos.
379
00:14:58,730 --> 00:14:59,940
Ah.
380
00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:01,567
I suppose not...
Big country.
381
00:15:01,608 --> 00:15:02,651
Yes, yeah.
382
00:15:02,651 --> 00:15:04,778
You know, I have
written a book
383
00:15:04,820 --> 00:15:06,822
about medicine
in the Arctic.
384
00:15:06,822 --> 00:15:08,031
Oh, really?
385
00:15:11,660 --> 00:15:14,621
Uh, you... you have pain
in your fingertips?
386
00:15:14,663 --> 00:15:17,749
No, it's not a problem,
just... just hangnails.
387
00:15:17,791 --> 00:15:21,336
What was that you said
about mandible cartilages?
388
00:15:21,336 --> 00:15:24,756
Oh, just the usual... peripheral
motor vascular spasms.
389
00:15:24,798 --> 00:15:27,467
It's really not that bad...
I took a couple of aspirin.
390
00:15:28,510 --> 00:15:31,179
You should drink
plenty of water.
391
00:15:32,264 --> 00:15:34,558
Is it possible?
392
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,810
One moment, please.
393
00:15:36,852 --> 00:15:38,854
Let me see here.
394
00:15:38,854 --> 00:15:42,733
Motor vascular...
mandible cartilages...
395
00:15:42,983 --> 00:15:44,151
Where is it?
396
00:15:44,192 --> 00:15:45,319
Page 87.
397
00:15:47,988 --> 00:15:49,031
Ja, ja.
398
00:15:49,197 --> 00:15:50,324
There it is.
399
00:15:50,365 --> 00:15:52,743
I knew there was something.
400
00:15:54,995 --> 00:15:57,080
Colonel!
401
00:15:57,122 --> 00:16:00,250
You have polaris extremis!
402
00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:06,590
And I thought
he was just hungry.
403
00:16:16,808 --> 00:16:17,893
What is this?
404
00:16:17,893 --> 00:16:19,436
He has got to stay here.
405
00:16:19,519 --> 00:16:21,229
Polaris extremis.
406
00:16:21,229 --> 00:16:22,397
Hogan?
407
00:16:23,690 --> 00:16:24,608
Impossible.
408
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:26,902
Herr Kommandant,
you should see
409
00:16:26,902 --> 00:16:28,904
his fingers
and his stomach.
410
00:16:28,904 --> 00:16:32,157
And he ate
the doctor's plant.
411
00:16:32,199 --> 00:16:35,327
Oh, he is a very sick man.
412
00:16:35,369 --> 00:16:36,828
Are you sure, Doctor?
413
00:16:36,870 --> 00:16:39,081
Absolutely...
He must not leave.
414
00:16:39,122 --> 00:16:43,210
You know, this is my very
first case of polaris extremis.
415
00:16:43,251 --> 00:16:44,586
Well, if you
really think so.
416
00:16:44,586 --> 00:16:45,671
Ja, ja, ja.
417
00:16:45,712 --> 00:16:47,923
Now, Schultz, you take the
other one, the criminal.
418
00:16:47,964 --> 00:16:49,091
We're going
back to camp.
419
00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:50,676
Colonel, couldn't he stay
with me?
420
00:16:50,717 --> 00:16:53,804
I mean, he's not much, but...
he is one of my kind.
421
00:16:53,845 --> 00:16:54,846
Just in case.
422
00:16:54,888 --> 00:16:56,431
I see absolutely no reason...
423
00:16:56,431 --> 00:16:59,518
I came to be with you,
and now you deny me a friend?
424
00:16:59,559 --> 00:17:01,645
Well, perhaps a few hours.
425
00:17:02,604 --> 00:17:03,688
But that's all!
426
00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:10,779
I am Major Zimmer.
427
00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:11,780
Oh, yes.
428
00:17:11,822 --> 00:17:13,782
Room 216, Major.
429
00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:14,699
Danke.
430
00:17:24,251 --> 00:17:25,460
Zimmer's here, sir.
431
00:17:25,460 --> 00:17:27,629
He's in room 216
just down the hall.
432
00:17:29,172 --> 00:17:30,298
Oh, Colonel Hogan.
433
00:17:30,298 --> 00:17:32,634
Kommandant Klink wants me
to take Newkirk back to camp.
434
00:17:32,634 --> 00:17:33,635
Thank you.
435
00:17:33,677 --> 00:17:34,636
Do you feel better?
436
00:17:34,636 --> 00:17:36,054
Oh, much better.
437
00:17:36,096 --> 00:17:37,305
Much better.
438
00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:40,267
Terrible.
439
00:17:40,308 --> 00:17:43,186
Please, sir,
you've had enough.
440
00:17:43,228 --> 00:17:45,647
Could we be alone for a few
more minutes, Schultz?
441
00:17:45,647 --> 00:17:46,690
Well, I...
442
00:17:46,731 --> 00:17:48,650
I'm making out my will...
It's rather personal.
443
00:17:48,650 --> 00:17:49,651
Oh, your will.
444
00:17:49,651 --> 00:17:51,486
Well... ten minutes,
hurry up.
445
00:17:51,486 --> 00:17:52,404
Good, good.
446
00:17:53,613 --> 00:17:55,448
Well, how do we get
in Zimmer's room?
447
00:17:55,490 --> 00:17:56,533
The window?
448
00:17:56,575 --> 00:17:57,993
There's no ledge,
I've checked it.
449
00:17:58,034 --> 00:17:58,994
There's got to be a...
450
00:18:00,036 --> 00:18:01,204
Get in bed, quick!
451
00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:01,913
I'm on my way.
452
00:18:03,373 --> 00:18:04,499
Schultz is
out there, sir.
453
00:18:04,499 --> 00:18:05,667
You just can't walk out.
454
00:18:05,667 --> 00:18:06,710
That's right.
455
00:18:06,751 --> 00:18:08,420
Why walk when I can
take the trolley?
456
00:18:09,379 --> 00:18:11,339
Guten Tag.
457
00:18:11,381 --> 00:18:14,009
Fruit juice, Colonel Hogan.
458
00:18:16,553 --> 00:18:19,848
Oh, would you like me to
put your flowers in the water?
459
00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:22,017
No, thanks,
I'll eat them here.
460
00:18:34,863 --> 00:18:36,948
Oh... oh,
I'm so sorry.
461
00:18:36,990 --> 00:18:38,366
Oh, that's perfectly
all right.
462
00:18:38,408 --> 00:18:39,534
May I help you,
please?
463
00:18:39,534 --> 00:18:42,037
Oh, danke, Sergeant.
464
00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:49,544
Mmm.
465
00:18:54,174 --> 00:18:55,175
Major Zimmer?
466
00:18:55,216 --> 00:18:56,217
Ja?
467
00:18:56,217 --> 00:18:58,219
Here's some fruit juice
for you.
468
00:18:58,261 --> 00:18:59,554
I am your night nurse.
469
00:18:59,596 --> 00:19:02,057
If you need anything,
just ring the bell
470
00:19:02,098 --> 00:19:04,225
and I'll bring it
to you, all right?
471
00:19:04,267 --> 00:19:05,018
Danke.
472
00:19:13,234 --> 00:19:14,277
Zimmer.
473
00:19:14,319 --> 00:19:15,737
Who are you?
474
00:19:15,779 --> 00:19:17,572
Papa Bear,
your contact.
475
00:19:17,572 --> 00:19:19,074
Code name: Moonglow.
476
00:19:21,284 --> 00:19:23,078
Come on, we haven't got
much time.
477
00:19:23,119 --> 00:19:25,288
All right.
478
00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:28,083
The battleship Tirpitz
is making a run
479
00:19:28,124 --> 00:19:30,043
for the open sea tonight.
480
00:19:30,085 --> 00:19:33,088
If she gets loose
in the Murmansk convoys,
481
00:19:33,129 --> 00:19:34,464
they are finished.
482
00:19:34,506 --> 00:19:37,592
They have got to get
her tonight.
483
00:19:37,634 --> 00:19:40,929
I'm sorry, Colonel Hogan,
but I have to pick up Newkirk,
484
00:19:40,929 --> 00:19:42,764
so if you will...
485
00:19:42,806 --> 00:19:44,265
Where is Newkirk?
486
00:19:46,893 --> 00:19:48,895
Where is Newkirk?!
487
00:19:48,937 --> 00:19:50,271
Newkirk, where are you?!
488
00:19:50,271 --> 00:19:52,607
Where is Newkirk,
Colonel Hogan, please...!
489
00:19:52,607 --> 00:19:55,110
Oh...
490
00:19:55,276 --> 00:19:56,820
Thank goodness.
491
00:19:58,279 --> 00:20:00,615
For a minute I thought
you were not here.
492
00:20:00,615 --> 00:20:01,616
Oh, I'm here.
493
00:20:01,616 --> 00:20:02,951
This is me, all right, Schultz.
494
00:20:02,992 --> 00:20:04,119
Good.
495
00:20:07,497 --> 00:20:09,791
If it's you... where is he?
496
00:20:09,833 --> 00:20:10,625
He who?
497
00:20:10,667 --> 00:20:13,294
He Hogan, that's he...
I mean who.
498
00:20:15,463 --> 00:20:17,006
Where were you,
Schultz?
499
00:20:17,048 --> 00:20:18,299
Fine guard you are.
500
00:20:18,341 --> 00:20:21,428
You came out, I came in,
I didn't see...
501
00:20:21,469 --> 00:20:22,554
Yeah.
How come?
502
00:20:22,595 --> 00:20:24,097
Can Newkirk stay
a little longer?
503
00:20:24,139 --> 00:20:25,098
Absolutely not!
504
00:20:25,140 --> 00:20:26,224
Come on, let's go!
505
00:20:26,266 --> 00:20:27,642
All right, well,
here's the will.
506
00:20:27,642 --> 00:20:28,893
Get it notarized
and send it
507
00:20:28,935 --> 00:20:29,978
to my lawyer in London.
508
00:20:29,978 --> 00:20:30,895
Will do, sir.
509
00:20:33,356 --> 00:20:34,232
Halt!
510
00:20:35,859 --> 00:20:37,277
This man must not leave.
511
00:20:37,318 --> 00:20:39,237
Your sickness may be contagious.
512
00:20:39,279 --> 00:20:41,739
You are to stay here for
a few days under observation.
513
00:20:41,781 --> 00:20:43,283
Right, it's
a marvelous idea.
514
00:20:43,324 --> 00:20:45,368
We'll start first thing
in the morning.
515
00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:48,121
You must not leave this room,
and that is an order.
516
00:20:51,374 --> 00:20:52,625
Well, that's it,
we've had it.
517
00:20:52,667 --> 00:20:54,085
We've got the bloody
information;
518
00:20:54,127 --> 00:20:55,503
now we can't get it
back to camp.
519
00:20:55,503 --> 00:20:56,546
Are you kidding?
520
00:20:56,588 --> 00:20:58,465
I didn't get polaris
extremis for nothing.
521
00:20:58,506 --> 00:20:59,424
We'll get it back.
522
00:20:59,466 --> 00:21:01,009
How?
Klink.
523
00:21:01,050 --> 00:21:02,802
He got us here
in the first place,
524
00:21:02,844 --> 00:21:04,762
he'll get us home again.
525
00:21:04,804 --> 00:21:07,432
I didn't know you Eskimos
were so clever.
526
00:21:11,853 --> 00:21:13,605
Colonel Klink's office.
527
00:21:13,771 --> 00:21:14,689
Hello, Hilda?
528
00:21:14,772 --> 00:21:15,899
This is Colonel Hogan.
529
00:21:15,940 --> 00:21:17,567
It's for me, Colonel.
530
00:21:17,734 --> 00:21:18,776
It's personal.
531
00:21:23,907 --> 00:21:25,033
Yes?
532
00:21:25,033 --> 00:21:27,577
Listen, I want you
to say my name...
533
00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:29,370
Not too soft,
not too loud.
534
00:21:29,412 --> 00:21:31,289
Hogan?
535
00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:36,461
We're escaping from
the hospital tonight...
536
00:21:36,586 --> 00:21:37,712
Out the window.
537
00:21:37,754 --> 00:21:40,381
I'll send you some nylon
stockings from England.
538
00:21:40,423 --> 00:21:41,424
We're on our way.
539
00:21:43,885 --> 00:21:46,971
I knew, I knew.
540
00:21:47,013 --> 00:21:48,181
I've got him.
541
00:22:00,735 --> 00:22:02,654
All right, leave it
there so they'll see it.
542
00:22:02,695 --> 00:22:03,655
Right.
543
00:22:05,031 --> 00:22:07,575
Herr Kommandant,
it must be a mistake.
544
00:22:07,575 --> 00:22:09,744
Colonel Hogan is
a very sick man.
545
00:22:09,786 --> 00:22:11,788
You watch, they'll come
out of that window.
546
00:22:11,829 --> 00:22:13,790
But, Herr Kommandant,
547
00:22:13,831 --> 00:22:16,834
their room is
on the other side.
548
00:22:16,876 --> 00:22:19,212
Nonsense,
that's the one.
549
00:22:22,799 --> 00:22:23,883
What was that?
550
00:22:23,925 --> 00:22:25,551
A garbage can.
551
00:22:26,594 --> 00:22:28,930
The things you have
to do these days
552
00:22:28,972 --> 00:22:30,974
to make an
unsuccessful escape.
553
00:22:31,015 --> 00:22:31,766
Come on.
554
00:22:42,443 --> 00:22:43,152
Shh!
555
00:22:43,444 --> 00:22:44,153
Shh!
556
00:22:44,445 --> 00:22:45,363
Shh!
557
00:22:45,405 --> 00:22:46,990
You didn't have
to do it twice!
558
00:22:47,031 --> 00:22:48,116
I didn't do it twice.
559
00:22:48,116 --> 00:22:49,033
You...
560
00:22:50,118 --> 00:22:51,119
Halt!
561
00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:52,120
There they are!
562
00:22:52,120 --> 00:22:53,663
Don't take
another step!
563
00:22:53,705 --> 00:22:56,916
Good try, Hogan,
but not good enough.
564
00:22:56,958 --> 00:22:58,710
Uh... we were just out
taking a walk.
565
00:22:58,751 --> 00:23:00,378
Could we go back
to the hospital?
566
00:23:00,420 --> 00:23:01,295
I don't feel well.
567
00:23:01,337 --> 00:23:03,423
No more!
568
00:23:03,464 --> 00:23:07,969
Oh, you can fool Schultz,
you can fool the doctors,
569
00:23:07,969 --> 00:23:10,513
but you can't
fool me, Hogan.
570
00:23:10,555 --> 00:23:12,181
Your plan failed,
do you hear?
571
00:23:12,223 --> 00:23:13,641
It failed.
572
00:23:13,641 --> 00:23:16,894
You are going back to camp
now, this instant.
573
00:23:16,936 --> 00:23:18,479
How do you like that?
574
00:23:18,521 --> 00:23:19,814
You win again.
575
00:23:19,814 --> 00:23:21,983
How does he do it?
How does he do it?
576
00:23:21,983 --> 00:23:24,152
It's uncanny,
sir, uncanny.
577
00:23:37,081 --> 00:23:38,916
Did you fix
the commandant's car?
578
00:23:38,958 --> 00:23:40,168
LeBEAU:
Boy, did I fix it.
579
00:23:40,209 --> 00:23:41,210
Good.
580
00:23:41,252 --> 00:23:42,170
Colonel Hogan!
581
00:23:42,170 --> 00:23:43,588
Yes?
582
00:23:43,629 --> 00:23:45,631
Colonel Hogan,
you're not resentful
583
00:23:45,673 --> 00:23:49,177
because I prevented your escape
from the hospital, are you?
584
00:23:49,177 --> 00:23:49,844
No, sir.
585
00:23:49,886 --> 00:23:51,262
You wouldn't try to do anything
586
00:23:51,304 --> 00:23:52,221
to get even, would you?
587
00:23:52,263 --> 00:23:53,014
Never.
588
00:23:53,055 --> 00:23:54,307
But you did know
589
00:23:54,348 --> 00:23:57,185
I was taking a drive
this afternoon...
590
00:23:57,185 --> 00:24:00,188
along the river road...
the steep hills?
591
00:24:00,229 --> 00:24:01,355
Yes, sir.
592
00:24:03,858 --> 00:24:05,526
I've changed
my mind.
593
00:24:05,526 --> 00:24:07,153
No. Changed your mind?
594
00:24:07,195 --> 00:24:08,863
You are taking a drive
this afternoon.
595
00:24:08,863 --> 00:24:09,697
Oh, no.
596
00:24:09,697 --> 00:24:12,200
And you will sit
where I would have been.
597
00:24:12,241 --> 00:24:13,326
Oh... I can't.
598
00:24:13,367 --> 00:24:15,077
I'm restricted
to the motor pool.
599
00:24:15,119 --> 00:24:17,038
The restriction
has been revoked.
600
00:24:17,038 --> 00:24:18,247
Get in.
601
00:24:20,583 --> 00:24:22,084
Schultz, drive!
602
00:24:22,126 --> 00:24:23,252
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
603
00:24:33,137 --> 00:24:34,889
Twice around
the park, Schultz.
604
00:24:41,646 --> 00:24:44,232
I thought you said
you fixed the car.
605
00:24:44,232 --> 00:24:45,691
I did fix it.
606
00:24:45,733 --> 00:24:47,068
It's perfect.
40316
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