Original subtitles

How much longer, Kinch?

What's taking so long, Kinch?

I'm finished.

Come on, let's go.

Where's Newkirk and Carter?

Should have mined the other bridge by now.

If anybody can foul up a mission,

it's Newkirk and Carter.

And when they come here,

I bet you they'll have some flimsy excuse.

We were getting worried.

We would have been here sooner,

but just as Carter was placing

the explosives under the bridge,

this German patrol came by.

They had a machine gun unit,

field artillery squad with two 75-millimeters canons

and a Mark IV tank.

I told you they'd have a flimsy excuse.

But undaunted and completely surrounded by the enemy,

I steadfastly stuck to my assignment

and calmly and coolly placed the explosives under the bridge.

Thank you, Nathan Hale.

Good job.

Colonel, we'd better blow up our bridge

and get back to camp.

All right.

Kinch, you want to do the honors?

Thanks, Colonel.

Oh, you really are a clod.

Now, come on!

You know, blowing up two bridges in one day

seems a bit greedy.

The second one puts the icing on the cake.

When they reroute those Panzer divisions

from the first bridge,

it'll look like the freeway at rush hour.

They'll be immobilized for weeks.

Light.

Should be able to see the flash from here, huh?

I put enough explosives under that bridge

to blow up Rutherford B. Hayes Polytechnic.

Well, I always wanted to blow up my old high school.

I never did, of course.

Well, I did blow up the chemistry lab...

and the cafeteria.

And the balcony in the auditorium went, too.

All right, stand by, gentlemen,

we are about to hear the blast.

Three, two, one... boom.

Carter?

LeBEAU: I knew if anybody

could foul up the assignment

it would be you two.

One thing you've got to say

about my mate, Carter,

he's a man who knows his explosives.

When he sets a timer, mate,

you know it's got to go off.

I thought you set the timer.

You thought I set the timer?!

You're the man who blew up

Rutherford B. Hayes Poly-bloody-technic!

Undaunted and completely surrounded by the enemy,

you steadfastly clung to your post

until you coolly and calmly

blew the whole assignment.

All right, hold it, hold it.

A thing like this could happen to anyone.

Why does it always happen to him?

You two guys are fast becoming

the Laurel and Hardy of demolition teams.

Colonel Hogan, I volunteer to go out

and set that timer.

Well, Laurel, do you volunteer

to go with Hardy?

Nobody's going out.

By now the woods are full of German patrols.

But, Colonel, London says

those Panzers have to be stopped.

I know, I know.

We can't just rush into it;

we've got to pick exactly the right time.

There's an old saying

that says, "Patience is a virtue."

There's another old saying that says,

"Feed a cold and starve a fever."

Well, what's that got to do with this?!

Nothing...

but if the situation ever comes up,

it's just nice to know we have a good, old saying

to fall back on.

Get in your bunk.

Yes, sir, that's very nice of you.

But I'm just doing a simple job in a simple camp

simply being the best commandant in the German army.

And a Heil Hitler to you, sir.

Ah, Major Hochstetter.

That was General Burkhalter with a commendation for me.

Oh, I'm sure that his constant praise

would turn the head of a lesser man.

Did you tell him about the bombing last night?

There was a bombing last night?

You didn't hear them blow up

the Dorfmann bridge?!

I happen to be a very sound sleeper.

Tell that to General Burkhalter.

Sir, may I remind you

that some of the finest military men

were sound sleepers... Napoleon, for one.

Oh?

He must have had a wonderful nap

at Waterloo.

What about the air raid last night?

It was not an air raid;

the bridge was sabotaged.

Major Hochstetter,

the underground is your responsibility.

If your Gestapo men were as efficient as my men,

you wouldn't have these problems.

We have reason to believe

that the damage was done

by one of your prisoners.

My prisoners?!

Impossible!

There has never been an escape from Stalag 13.

Nevertheless, we know absolutely

there are no American soldiers in this area

and yet this was found

100 yards from the Dorfmann bridge.

You know what that is, Colonel?

Mm-hmm, it's a button.

I know it's a button!

What does it say on the button?

"Us."

Not "us," U-S...

Oh...

Yes, U-S.

Unterseeboot.

No.

Untersee...

"United States," Dummkopf!

Oh, right, sir.

Klink, this button if off the uniform

of an American soldier.

And I say he is in this camp.

Impossible.

Every man was confined to quarters last night

with the exception of Barracks Two.

Barracks Two would not be

Colonel Hogan's barracks, by any chance, huh?

How did you know that?

Always with this Hogan

there is some funny business.

I assure you

there was no funny business last night.

Barracks Two was under the direct observation

of one of my oldest, most trusted,

most dependable guards.

Good, I'm glad it wasn't Schultz.

But it was.

Schultz?!

You called me, sir?

Why would anybody call you?!

Schultz, were you keeping a close watch

on Barracks Two, as I ordered you last night?

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

No prisoner in this barracks was out of my sight.

I didn't take my eyes off them, not for a moment.

I watched them like a hawk.

Read this.

How can he watch the prisoners like a hawk

when he's as blind as a bat?

Oh, it's a button...

and it says "us."

I should have known better

than to come here in the first place.

Now, I assure you, Major Hochstetter,

no prisoner in this camp

took part in last night's sabotage.

But as a courtesy to the Gestapo,

I will personally make a search

for an American prisoner with a button missing.

Klink, you have something missing.

Most of your prisoners

are in rags and old uniforms...

Naturally they'd have buttons off.

Then I will question them one by one.

Bah!

The Gestapo will find out for themselves

with our new interrogation team.

New team?

Yes, commandant, and I can tell you

they've been very successful.

Every man they've questioned

has cracked within an hour.

I don't like to tell you this,

but all of you are going to be questioned

by the Gestapo.

So what else is new?

They've questioned us before.

Yeah, you'd think those chaps

would give up by now.

There is a new interrogation team coming

which makes any prisoner crack

within an hour.

I'm sorry I had to be the one to tell you.

That's all right, Schultz...

Better you than from the lips of a stranger.

That's a jolly bit of news.

What can they do to us?

Bamboo under the fingernails?

Chinese water torture?

The rack?

Would you mind keeping your voice down?

Maybe they haven't thought of those yet.

Maybe Schultz is just trying to scare us.

I don't think so.

They want information

about the blowing up of that bridge.

They won't get any information from me.

They won't get anything out of me, either.

I don't blame you;

it's a little embarrassing to confess

you forgot to set the timer.

LeBeau, I warned you...

Look, fellows, if the Gestapo's sending a new team,

they're probably going to have some new methods.

I don't want to sound like Knute Rockne at half time...

"Let's win one for the Gipper" and all that jazz...

But we can't give them any information.

Too many lives are at stake.

I know it's asking a lot of you,

but this is probably

the biggest thing we've ever faced.

So, no matter what

this new interrogation team may do,

don't give them any information.

All they'd get out of me, sir,

is the exact strength of the RAF.

I'll tell them exactly how to blow up the Eiffel Tower.

I'll give them the complete diagram

of the Norden bomb site.

Have you guys gone crazy?!

Buddies... it's going to be tougher than I thought.

They're beautiful!

Absolutely lovely.

What do you think, Colonel?

It's obvious, a violation of the Geneva Convention...

This has got to come under "cruel and inhuman punishment."

Come in.

Begging your pardon, sir.

Newkirk, I want to talk to you

about these plans.

Right, sir.

I think I've got a new route

we can take to get to that bridge.

Very good, sir, good.

It may be a little bit longer,

but we don't have to cut through the woods.

Sounds marvelous, sir, marvelous.

And since we have a moonless night

coming up tomorrow, it would be perfect...

Newkirk?

Yes, sir, yes?

Go on; I'm listening, sir.

As soon as you finish

with my after-shave lotion,

I'll be glad to give you a manicure.

Oh, I was just sprucing myself up a bit, sir.

You don't seem to understand.

These girls are going to do their best

to try to get information out of you.

You don't have to worry about me, sir.

My lips are sealed.

Oh, yeah.

What if one of the girls walks up,

puts her arms around you

and plants a big kiss on those sealed lips?

She'd be falling right into my trap, sir.

The Gestapo's plan is beginning to work already.

I hope the rest of these guys aren't acting

like it's Saturday night at the USO.

Come on, how long you going to stand

in front of that mirror, LeBeau?

Give somebody else a chance.

My hair still isn't brushed.

Are you kidding?

You've done everything

but put it up on curlers.

Come on.

May I cut in?

Oh, Colonel.

I hope your card isn't filled.

I'd like you to save a waltz for me.

I was just practicing.

You know, I thought my dancing

might be getting a little rusty.

It's nice to know the feet still have that old rhythm.

Mm-hmm.

Fellows?

Yes, Colonel?

Fellows, these girls are working

for the Gestapo.

This is psychological warfare.

I'm ready, Schultz!

It's me he's after, LeBeau!

It's alphabetical and "Carter" is before

"Newkirk," "Kinchloe" and "LeBeau."

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Who is wearing that Bay Rum?

I would like to have some of that.

I have some right here, Schultzy.

Wait a minute, no, try mine,

it's called "Sinsation."

Hey, you can put it on on the way, come on.

Mine's a lot more sexy.

Hold it, hold it a minute, fellows.

Who's he want to see first?

They are starting with LeBeau.

Hey-hey!

We'll see you all later.

Don't wait up for me.

LeBeau?

Yes, sir?

Just a last word of advice:

All you're required to give the girl that questions you

is your name, rank and serial number.

Right. My name, rank, serial number.

Phone number.

Office number.

My concierge number... She takes my messages.

Mother's number, in case the concierge is out.

Schultz, get him out of here.

Come on.

I know now why the Gestapo's new method of interrogation

is so effective.

I certainly could never keep a secret

from three such beautiful women.

For instance, if one of you ladies were to ask me

for my home phone number,

it would be impossible for me to keep from telling you

that it is "Bismarck 9-2-7-1,"

and if there is no answer, it's "Rhinelander 4-8-2-7."

It's amazing how you never write down those facts.

Of course, you ladies were chosen

for your fantastic memories.

Busy.

LeBEAU: It's me, Herr Kommandant... LeBeau.

Come back later.

I think we should let the prisoner come in,

Colonel Klink.

Oh, yes, of course, of course.

Those flowers are from my garden.

My compliments.

Klink, what are you doing with those flowers?

Well, I thought it would...

Get out of here

and let them get on with the interrogation.

Ladies.

Allow me to introduce myself.

I'm Inge Wagner.

This is Heidi Baum.

And this is Anna Mannheim.

LeBeau.

Louis.

Corporal.

19-17-65-46.

I see that you are aware of the Geneva Convention,

Corporal LeBeau.

However, there is nothing in the rules

that says you cannot join us

for a glass of champagne.

No.

Won't you sit down, please, Corporal LeBeau?

Over here, please.

Oh.

A toast.

To Corporal LeBeau.

Call me Louie.

More champagne, Louie?

No, no, merci beaucoup, no.

Is there something wrong with the wine?

I thought the best champagne came from Reims.

Oh, it does.

And also from Eperany.

I never heard of Eperany.

The most beautiful part in France.

My father's family comes from there.

Ah...

Is he also in the wine business?

No.

He worked in the railroad yards.

That must be fascinating.

I remember as a boy

I used to play in a secret tunnel under the tracks

where they used to store the old equipment.

My father never knew I discovered it.

Oh, that's a darling story, isn't it?

Yes, it is.

How is the paté?

Mmm, fantastic.

We had it sent direct from Strasbourg.

The only place for paté.

Have you ever been there?

I used to go to visit my friend, Claude Lenoir.

Claude Lenoir.

Isn't he the famous French violinist?

Claude has no musical talent at all.

His only talent was for making radios.

Ah.

My brother used to make radios, too.

He used to talk to people as far away as England.

Oh, Claude spoke to people in England all the time.

He even spoke to a man in Australia.

I find you very fascinating, Louie.

I find you interesting, too, Inge.

I've been with you for an hour

and you haven't asked me a question yet.

Oh, that is because I know

I could never get any information out of you.

All I gave her was my name, rank and serial number.

Well...

just hear what she has to report to Hochstetter.

Don't think that she didn't try...

With champagne, paté de fois gras,

little squeezes on my hand.

But I was like a clam.

Well, Fraulein,

did you get any information from LeBeau?

Yes, Major.

She's faking it.

We now know where there is a secret tunnel

that has replacement parts for the trains

at the railroad yards of Éperany.

Good.

Anything else?

We have located

an underground short-wave radio station

in Strasbourg

operated by a man named Claude Lenoir.

Amazing, how did you manage...

Anything else?

No.

But after my next interrogation,

I am sure that I will have more information.

Well, for a clam, you've certainly got a big mouth.

I don't know how she got that information.

I told you to be careful.

They can trick you into giving all sorts of information.

Message from the underground, Colonel.

What is it?

They say we got to blow up that bridge

by tonight.

All right.

Contact them and tell them

the mission will be accomplished.

Right.

Oh, and Kinch?

Ask the underground to get us

all the information they can

on Inge Wagner, Heidi Baum and Anna Mannheim.

I can tell you all about them, Colonel.

You may have missed something, LeBeau.

Mannheim...

Oh, Kinch, also tell them

to blow up that secret tunnel

in the railroad yard at Éperany.

And tell Claude Lenoir to get out of Strasbourg

as quick as possible.

Will do.

Colonel?

When are we going to go out to that bridge?

Only I'm going out.

You can't go out alone, Colonel.

I won't be alone.

Taking a date.

Is this where you wanted to park?

Yeah, they say there's a pretty view

from this bridge.

You know, I'm really surprised at Hochstetter

letting us take this drive.

You made an excellent suggestion.

We try to keep these interrogations

as informal as possible.

I'll go along with that.

I think I like this view better

than the one from the Dorfmann Bridge, don't you?

Hogan, Robert E.

Colonel, U.S. Air Corps.

0-8-7-6-7-0-7.

Touché, Colonel.

I really did not expect you

to answer any questions.

Oh, I wouldn't say that.

If you'd like my phone number,

I'll be glad to give you that.

I would like that very much.

If you're planning a trip to Cleveland, Ohio, after the war,

you can look me up.

If you are there, I will look you up.

Mission accomplished.

I can see that from here, sir.

You should wipe the lipstick

off your face, Colonel.

Kinch, just the man I want to see.

Did you get all the dope on the girls?

It's all here, Colonel...

Everything including their baby formulas.

Why did you want that information?

LeBeau, two can play this psychological warfare game.

All I really know about you is that you're from Cleveland.

It wouldn't be violating any military secrets

if you told me a little more about yourself, would it?

I guess not.

What do you want to know?

Oh, what your first impressions were

when you arrived in London.

Did you like the people?

Oh, I think people are the same the world over.

London's a wonderful town.

Something like Berlin, your hometown.

Oh, I don't think it's at all like...

How did you know I was from Berlin?

Heidi told me.

What else did she tell you about me?

Oh, the usual things you say about friends...

That you went through two bad marriages,

your brother was a Communist,

your father was thrown out of the Nazi Party

for embezzling.

Heidi!

Heidi!

Did you call, Inge?

How dare you tell this man

about my father and brother?!

I didn't tell him anything.

Well, then, how did he know

about my two bad marriages?

Just a minute, don't go jumping on Heidi.

After all, you told me

about her mother's schnapps problem.

What? You told him that?

Now, just a minute, Heidi.

Oh, you're nothing but a vicious gossip!

Hold it! Hold it! Come on!

What is all the yelling about?

Well, the girls have been telling tales out of school.

She was the one, she.

Oh, you were the one!

You told this person

everything you knew about me.

And what about you, you...

Stop the fighting! Stop the fighting!

What is the meaning of this?

Inge and Heidi have accused each other

of giving intimate details about their lives

to Colonel Hogan.

She was the one, she did it!

How dare...

All right, hold it.

Hold it, girls!

It's not really as bad as all that, Major.

They didn't tell me anything more intimate

than the fact that Anna here has a mole.

Which one of you told him that?

Actually, I heard it from Captain Braunschweiger.

Braunschweiger...

Now, Major...

That's why you missed our appointment

the other night.

You said you were working.

Really, Major...

Don't be too hard on her, Major.

Heidi's dating Braunschweiger, too.

Hold it, girls! Please, hold it!

Take your things and get out of here,

all of you!

Schnell, schnell!

Oh, for heaven's sake...

Major Hochstetter, isn't Braunschweiger

that homely little fellow

with the funny-looking Hitler mustache?

I mean the very attractive young man

who looks like Emil Jannings?

This is the end of the new interrogation team.

From now, on we go back to the old Gestapo methods.

I don't blame you, Major.

Those girls were all blabbermouths.

I don't think you'll be so enthusiastic, Colonel Hogan,

when they get through with you

at Gestapo Headquarters.

Oh, I don't think I can give them any information, Major.

Colonel Hogan is my prisoner, Major Hochstetter.

I can assure you he has nothing to do

with that bridge blowing up.

Klink... I will be the judge of that.

And I suppose if another bridge blows up,

I'll be blamed for that, too.

It would be impossible for another bridge to blow up.

You have been under surveillance for 24 hours.

Another bridge blowing up.

You were, uh... saying, Major?

I hope all of you learned a lesson in interrogation.

I should have known better, Colonel.

It's not your fault, LeBeau.

Inge's a beautiful girl.

What a shame they threw the ladies out

before it was my turn to be interrogated.

You?

You'd have given them

the complete plans to Westminster Abbey.

Yeah, and a diagram of Buckingham Palace

for good measure.

I guess we don't need

this information on the girls any longer.

You can rest easy, men.

From now on, all we have is the old men in the Gestapo

to worry about.

Uh, fellows?

If you're looking for the girls' home phone numbers,

they're on this paper right here.