Original subtitles

(squish)

(door opening)

(heels clacking)

- Who are you? Where's maria?

- Maria's appendix burst last night

She asked me to fill in.

- It's always something with her.

Ma dai.

I don't have change.

You can send five dollars with maria

When she's back tomorrow.

And tell her, I expect her back tomorrow.

Mi raccomando.

- Excuse me, where's the bleach?

- Seriously?

(sigh)

Maria should have told you all this.

All you had to do was look. I'm getting my hair done.

I'll be home by five. Be gone by then. Va bene.

- Have a nice day! Thank you, mrs. Pallione.

(clunk)

(upbeat rap music)

(mimicking): All you had to do... All you had to do...

All you had to do was look.

♪ bad chick, I could be your fantasy ♪

♪ I could tell you got big energy ♪

I don't have change... I don't have change...

I don't have change.

♪ make 'em sing to this thang like a melody ♪

♪ and if your girl ain't right, I got the remedy ♪

♪ it ain't too many of 'em that can handle me ♪

♪ bad chick, I could be your fantasy ♪

♪ yeah, tell me how you want it, want it ♪

♪ three, two, one camera rolling ♪

♪ do it slow motion, real chick ♪

♪ all that big talk, latto put 'em on it ♪

♪ latto, I'm just bein' honest ♪

♪ lingerie dolce. Blindfold ♪

♪ tie me to the bed while we roleplay ♪

♪ can't skip foreplay, kill the kitty cold case ♪

They never hide the key.

♪ on the count of three, bad get money ♪

♪ money broke to the left, we don't want it ♪

(door opening)

(♪♪)

I need help with my box.

- Sorry, what? - My safe deposit box.

Here, take all the things you need or whatever.

(thud)

(max gasps)

(sigh)

I've had a terrible day.

My pussycat, benigni, he died.

- Oh my god, you poor woman.

- Grazie. Now please, make it fast, fast, fast.

I need to lie down.

- Absolutely, mrs. Pallione.

I'll handle it myself.

♪ tell me how you want it three, two, one and I'm on it ♪

Let me know if there is anything else you need,

And once again, my deepest condolences on your loss.

(♪♪)

(creak)

(jingling)

♪ I like what I see ♪

♪ a boss like you need a boss like me ♪

(clatter)

(heels clacking)

(♪♪)

(mrs. Pallione): That's her!

(phone ringing)

(woman): What's happening?

(clinking)

(clinking)

(upbeat music)

(♪♪)

(distant siren)

(sirens)

(tires screeching)

- We'll get back there, someday.

(cheering)

(cheering)

(laughter)

Just not today.

(clicking)

(engine revving)

(sirens)

(indistinct chatter)

- Captain nemo, something wrong?

- Yes, she can't ride on the bow.

- The what?

- The bow. The front of the boat.

- Why not?

- It's illegal. While the boat's moving,

Everybody's gotta in their proper seats.

- Are you giving me a ticket?

Yeah, that's what happens when you break the law.

- What about him?

(purring)

He's a cat.

(radio): Come in maritime unit.

(radio static)

- It's maritime unit here.

(radio): Robbery in progress. Aldicott bank on 4th

And balsam. Backup needed.

- Oh, you need me?

(radio): Yes, you!

- Alright, I'm on my way.

It's your lucky day.

(seagulls cawing)

Hold on, marc.

(purring)

(engine revving)

(indistinct shouting)

(♪♪)

(♪♪)

Hey, where are they?

(phone ringing)

- ...So, I asked her, what the hell she was doing,

And she said, don't look at me, that's not my ocelot!

(laughter)

- Hey, what's the situation?

- Hi. Are you my ride?

(♪♪)

- You guys call for backup, what's going on?

- Take it easy, skipper.

You just gotta bring her in and book her.

- Why can't you do it? - Let's not fight over me, guys.

- We have an important assignment.

- They have a baseball game against fire station 18.

Big game. I got 50 on these guys.

(officer): We won't let you down, max.

- I know you won't, jim.

- Where are you going? - I'm not a damn taxi service.

- Direct order from the chief because everyone else

In the area's on a real case.

Or was the demotion to water cop not enough for you?

'cause I heard there's an opening in animal services.

(chuckling)

(meowing)

(purring)

- Oh, a cat! Hey girl.

- Damn it, he must have slipped through the grate.

- Is this your cat?

- Yes.

- Damn, I'm having a cat day. Oh and she likes me.

What's her name? Why do you have a cat in your car?

Is she magic like sabrina's cat?

I have so many questions I'm vibrating.

- His name is marc. End of conversation.

- I see you, marc.

(purring)

(engine revving)

(car honking)

(suspenseful music)

(♪♪)

(♪♪)

- Heads up everyone.

As you all know, a valuable painting was stolen

Out of the lobby of the law firm of lee and tordano.

- Oh hey, master and commander, that's not your desk anymore.

- How about a little decorum, some professionalism please.

Leave crimson tide alone.

(laughter)

(li): Enough. Enough, eyes here.

Theft happened between two and four a.M. This morning.

This was not a smash and grab.

Whoever stole this painting knew exactly what they were doing.

Security system was disabled remotely.

So, we do not have exact time of entry,

Nor do we have any footage from inside.

Cyber unit is currently reversing...

- Name. - Max mitchell.

So, why's everyone ragging on you like that?

- Address? - 1736 rosewood crescent.

Did you used to work with them? - Date of birth.

- December fifth, 1993. Sagittarius.

So, you used to work with them

But for some reason got transferred to sea patrol?

- It's called maritime unit.

- I think I like 'sea patrol' more.

(beep) (ellis): Dammit.

I need a new login. Alright, look, you stay here. Don't move.

- You got it, amigo.

(li): ... So we have to be better at uncovering them.

This was the third major robbery in the last six months

By the same thief.

- Well, how do you know it's the same thief?

- He leaves a signature at every scene. This symbol here.

Internally we're calling him the infinity thief.

(max): How do you know it's a he?

- Forensic psychology unit worked up a profile.

Any other questions?

- I'm good.

(li): Each robbery has been executed to perfection.

Not a single print or speck of dust to go on, until now.

The forensics unit found specs of dirt at the scene.

Samples traced to a region of vineyards outside the city.

- What's with the coins? - Shh.

Hey chief, what's with the coins?

- We're not sure. We think he's messing with us.

(sigh)

- Sorry, I just got swept up in the moment.

- Sit down. (li): This thief has been

Ripping off the mayor's biggest donors.

So, call your families,

Tell them you won't be home for dinner.

You're gonna canvas every vineyard.

This is the mayor's number one priority.

Move out!

(indistinct chatter)

- This is exciting.

(clattering)

- They'll take you for processing tomorrow.

(max sighing)

- They're not going to catch that thief.

- Really? Tell me, oh wise one.

- Someone as good as that guy or girl

Doesn't accidentally leave behind dirt that specific.

It's a game. A distraction. But the pennies there--

That's the clue they're daring us to figure out.

- So what are the pennies supposed to mean then?

- I don't know yet.

- Well, you'll have 15-20 to think about it in prison.

- One more thing,

I'm pescatarian, who should I tell?

- I'll pass be sure to pass it along to the chef.

(max): Thanks!

Goodnight you prince of maine, you king of new England.

(♪♪)

(sombre music)

(bell chiming)

(meows)

(sigh)

(water flowing)

(ringing)

(beep)

- This is ellis.

- It's max. Listen, after dinner,

Which was surprisingly good. Oh and I just remembered--

(ellis): Who is this? - Max.

You know, the sassy, fiercely charming woman

With drop dead gorgeous style you hung out with?

- How are you even calling me? - I get a phone call.

(ellis): Well, I'm sorry you wasted your only phone call.

Goodbye-- - w-wait! Listen,

I know where the infinity thief is gonna hit next.

- Where? - Heritage appraisals, downtown.

- How do you know that? (max): Look 'em up.

They just received a rare coin.

A 1937 edward the eighth coin, worth a cool 2.5 million.

(ellis): Their logo is the same formation as the coins.

(max): Go check it out. You heard your boss,

You crack this one,

I bet the mayor will let you out of sea patrol.

- Maritime unit. But w-what do you get out of this?

- If I'm right, give me the credit.

- Wait, how did you get my number?

(clattering)

Hello?

(♪♪)

(♪♪)

(♪♪)

(distant sirens)

(squeaking)

(dog barking)

(menacing music)

(creaking)

Police. Anyone there?

(♪♪)

(muffled moaning)

(moaning)

(♪♪)

This is detective ellis, badge number 8397, I need backup

At heritage appraisals, 2384--

(thud)

(li): I'm just trying to get the facts straight here. So, you didn't see anyone?

- He came at me from behind. The guard said he was wearing a mask.

While you took everybody in the department

For wine tasting, I actually caught the guy in the act.

Are we done here?

- The police commissioner wants to know

How you figured this out when you're not even on the case.

(♪♪)

- The sheer number of rules and procedures

That were broken here is baffling.

That said, this is the closest by far

Anyone has come to cracking this case.

- You're making me blush, but it was a team effort.

- The mayor's biggest donors are the ones being robbed.

They are not happy. That means he is not happy.

He wants this case closed.

- A man of action. I like it.

- In here, I talk, not you. Do you understand?

- Clear as day.

- You're going to stay on the case.

- Thank you, ma'am.

- Both of you.

- What? - What?

- Be still my heart.

- Ma'am, you can't be serious.

She's a thief and a con artist.

(li): Us enlisting a criminal to help solve a case. How's that gonna look?

- If it works, it will make the mayor happy.

And if he's happy, we're all happy.

Her particular skill set can be helpful to us.

The two of you start right away. Report to li.

- Wait a minute.

What do I get out of it?

(li): Pardon?

- Aside from helping the mayor win his re-election.

- What do you want?

- I want off the boat and back on my desk.

- Ma'am, may I just say that--

- Close the case and I will recommend

Your reinstatement to the committee.

- Thank you.

- Since we're making christmas lists here,

I'd actually like--

- You don't get to make any demands.

If you solve the case, in a law-abiding way,

I will recommend probation to the prosecutor.

And just so we're all equally invested,

If they do anything to cause the department

Any embarrassment, it's on you.

(door closing)

- I can't believe this. - I can't believe this.

- Right. It's like winning the lottery.

(car honking)

Well, isn't this a hoot?

- Look, let's get one thing really clear,

I don't like any of this. Alright.

So just do what I say and we'll both get back to doing

What we're good at in no time. Sound good?

- Why did you get kicked off your desk?

- No. This isn't a date, okay.

I'm a cop, you're a criminal.

That's all we need to know about each other.

- Okay, I get it. We're not quite there yet.

So what next? - We look over the case files.

See if anyone missed anything. (max): Waste of time.

If you're going to steal a coin like that,

You need a fence. If it were me,

I'd go talk to joey and noah over at thorpe auction house.

- You heard the commissioner, I got a particular skill set.

- Fine, go.

(♪♪)

- Okay, when we go in,

I'm claire, not max.

- Mm, why? - I know the owners.

Best we don't mix history into this.

- Oh, did you rip them off or something?

- Hm, you say tomato...

(♪♪)

(in a british accent): Apologies for our tardiness.

My valet had a spell of tummy troubles, let's say.

Oh, I adore your tie and kerchief, hermes?

- No, it's-- hey!

- Excuse me.

(♪♪)

- Ladies and gentlemen,

This next piece is something my brother noah

Hounded me to get.

As irksome as that was, he was right.

Let's open the bidding at 70 thousand.

- 70 thousand. - 90 thousand!

- What are you doing? - 90 thousand.

- This is part of our investigation.

The department will cover it, right?

- No. No, they won't.

- 100.

- 175!

(joey): 175 going once,

Going twice... - No!

- 175 sold to bidder 88.

(clack)

(indistinct chatter)

- Oh, don't be so glum, rockford. We won!

Now let's talk to the dead ringers.

(indistinct chatter)

(♪♪)

- Ah, yes, you won the ho-jin nahng painting.

So, cashier's check or cash.

- I'll be paying cash, but I must speak

With joey and noah first.

- Well, I can help you with anything.

(sigh)

- I understand you must protect joey and noah

From the showboats and divas around here,

But you see, about a year ago

Joey, noah and I shared a very special night

Together in my hotel...

Isn't he just gorgeous? Oh.

He looks just like them. I just--

I don't know which one.

- I'll take you to their office.

(max): Thank you.

- Joey, noah! - Hey.

- No, no way, get her out! - Hey max.

- Uh, joey, come on-- - no, last time you were here,

Three of the vases in our ming collection

Were somehow switched with porcelain fakes.

- It's so hard to find good appraisers.

- No, you're a thief. (max): Gentlemen let's not dwell

In the past, okay? I'm here in an entirely new capacity today.

I am now a guardian of the law, okay?

(joey): How did you-- give me that.

- Sorry.

- I'm detective ellis.

I'm here investigating the robbery

Of a rare coin that was taken from heritage appraisals.

Max is a consultant.

Silent consultant.

You two know anything about that?

- What did you tell this guy about us?

- I didn't tell him anything. - So why are you here?

- Maybe I told him something.

- Okay, gentlemen, look, we're off the record.

I don't care what you buy or what you sell.

I'm looking for a lead.

- We don't sell hot properties.

We have, however, at times,

Known of people in possession of these things

And may have inadvertently made introductions.

- For a fee. - I got out of that game.

A promise to my brother. - It's true.

- If noah says so, I believe him. Noah, how's the knee?

- Better, thanks for asking.

- Oh my god, these egg rolls are amazing!

Best in town.

- The absolute best in town.

(max): It's so good! - Best in town.

(overlapping chatter) - everyone shut up!

- My fav--

- You two need to give me something now,

Or I'll just have to verify every single piece in here.

We'll have to shut you down, of course.

But, uh, shouldn't take more than a month or two, three.

- Okay, okay, okay. You don't need to play bad cop.

I can give you a list of names. There aren't many people

Who would be in the market for items like this.

But if anyone finds out I gave you names,

I'm a dead man so at least make an attempt to play the good cop.

- Max? - Yeah. We're good.

Thanks guys. Nice to see you.

- Don't come back. - Nice to see you, max.

- Damn, that was amazing!

We're like bones and that dude from buffy, castle

And that hot girl, 'a star is born,'

Except you're lady gaga

And I'm bradley cooper.

- Mmhm. - So, what next?

- I guess we start running down this list of names.

What are you doing?

- These aren't real buyers. I could tell he was lying.

- Ah, great. So, we're back at square one, then?

- How 'bout let's grab a drink at a seedy dive bar

You're a regular at, talk about the case,

Get into a bar fight-- - no. I'm taking you home

And we'll start first tomorrow morning, okay.

Oh, and you are not to go anywhere.

You want some food, you order in.

You want some fresh air, you open a window. Got it?

- Got it, locked it, threw away the key.

(sigh) - where do you live again?

I hope it's not far.

(seagulls cawing)

(tires squeaking)

You live here? (max): At the moment.

- I bet the owners are away and you're squatting, aren't 'cha?

- I'm in between residences.

And I have a lot of friends who generously lend me their places.

- Ms. Max, welcome back.

- Who's that?

- That's my butler. Ricky, we got any more mac and cheese?

- I'll cook some up.

Will your friend be staying for dinner?

- No, no, no. I'm good, thanks. - You must be hungry--

Okay.

- Hey, remember what I said, don't go anywhere.

(click)

(engine revving)

(tap)

(tapping)

(suspenseful music)

(click)

- I was just about to call you!

- Oh, yeah. Sure you were.

I followed you because I knew I couldn't trust you.

You're very predictable, you know that?

- That's insulting. I'm hardly predictable.

Case in point...

(creaking)

I know you're impressed.

- Okay, move.

(eerie music)

(♪♪)

(♪♪)

(gasp)

(max): Joey!

(♪♪)

(soft music)

(♪♪)

- He's still got his wallet, his watch.

No sign of forced entry. This wasn't robbery.

- Cause of death appears to be

Blunt force trauma to the back of the head.

- So, he was either taken by surprise

Or he trusted the person enough to give him his back.

(sigh)

There's an inscription here.

"what is right to be done, cannot be done too soon."

- Still no sign of the murder weapon.

- I'll keep looking. Nice work.

Hey you, alright?

- Who'd wanna kill joey?

He wasn't a bad guy.

(li): Did I miss something?

Because nobody called me about a warrant.

What the hell were you doing here in the middle of the night?

- I was following up on a hunch.

I want you both out of here. Get back to your case.

- This is our case. They're related.

- How? - We go talk to joey,

And then later that night he ends up dead.

There's no way it's a coincidence.

- I'm giving it to simmons and yates.

- The commissioner didn't ask for simmons and yates,

She asked for us.

- Yeah, but if you screw up

She's still the commissioner

And I'm out on my ass.

So you do everything by the book from here on out, got me?

- Yes, sir.

- Hey, thanks for not throwing me under the bus there.

- If we're gonna work together, I need to be able

To trust you, alright.

Don't do that again.

Thank you.

- Is that joey's phone? - Yeah.

We need to inform next of kin.

They got this, we should go.

(suspenseful music)

(max): I'm so sorry, noah.

- Did joey have any enemies?

- Not that I know of.

- Everyone loved joey.

He was the life of the party. Even if it wasn't a party,

He turned it into one.

(noah): Penny. - Well, it's true.

- Were you ever jealous of your brother, noah?

- People always thought I was, but I wasn't.

He was a showman-- (penny): Noah likes his routine.

- ... Liked the spotlight. - Yeah. He likes the quiet life.

- We made a good team. (penny): Yeah.

- Where were you two last night?

- Penny and I were both home all evening.

- Would you mind taking a look at these photos?

Let me know if there's anything out of place.

- I know this must be so hard for you guys.

If there's anything you see--

- But don't touch those!

Sorry, those are all

First editions of every jane austen novel.

- Those books are penny's most prized possessions.

She won't even let me touch them.

Um, nothing else is missing here.

- One last question.

Joey's last phone call was to the russian embassy.

Do you know who he might've been calling?

- He promised me he stopped all that.

(♪♪)

- Stanislav sokolov, otherwise known as caviar stan.

You know why no one steals the mona lisa?

- Yeah. Because it's impossible to sell.

- Exactly. Unless you're caviar stan.

(ellis): Okay, so, if joey had the rare coin,

He'd call caviar stan, right? So, let's go talk to him.

- Can't talk to stan. - Why?

- He's the son of a russian diplomat

He has legal protections.

You want to get in, you gotta have a direct intro.

And his circle is very small and very tight.

What?

- You're giving me this whole set-up

Of how impossible it is to get to this guy,

Like you don't know how to

But you do know how to.

- You know me so well. How are we not a meme already?

Okay. We're going to see someone.

- Who?

(rap music)

(clattering)

(guard): George!

You got a visitor.

- What's up, big g?

(clattering)

(guard): Clear!

- My darling!

- Hi. Hi. -

Hey, what about the no touching thing, huh?

- That don't apply to george and max.

Max, I took your advice.

Sure enough, my girl gave me a second chance.

- Treat her right, davis. Treat her right.

- I got a surprise for you. - What?

- I'm a cop! - You are not a cop--

- You have a badge? - Not yet.

- Not ever. - A gun?

- Soon. - No max,

You're not getting a gun.

- This is my partner, cole ellis.

Meet my dad, george graham.

- Your dad? How did I not know your father was in prison?

- Different last names. - Yeah, in our line of work,

You want to be invisible.

Nice to meet my daughter's partner.

- We're not partners. - We are.

Dad, we need your help.

We need a face to face with caviar stan.

- That's not going to be easy.

- I know. But it's important.

- Caviar stan holds a regular poker game for high rollers

At the baroncrest hotel. Call teddy takamoro.

He'll get you in. He owes me.

- Thanks dad.

Wear something nice.

(engine revving)

(upbeat music)

(♪♪)

(♪♪)

(♪♪)

- I was afraid of this. Ricky!

(distant chatter)

(♪♪)

By the way, I'm a russian heiress to a microchip oligarch

And you're my half-witted boy toy slash goat yoga trainer.

- What?

(distant laughter) (man): Come here.

(man):It's not my luck.

(man): Alright, fill me in, huh?

- That's our guy. (man): We're all in.

- Irina galenko? - Da.

- You're okay. He's not on list.

- But he's my good luck charm.

Darling, please, a kiss for good luck.

(in russian)

(man laughing)

(suspenseful music)

(clink)

(♪♪)

(clink)

(clink)

- Maybe you should get yourself another good luck charm.

(dealer): Two pairs, aces over queens.

(laughter)

And the winner with a royal flush.

(man): Oh, ho, ho.

(clinking)

(man): Too bad.

(♪♪)

- May we join you? (stan): No.

- We'd like to ask you a couple questions about joey vaziri.

- I don't like questions.

Especially from people I don't know.

- Tell you what, you answer a few questions and, uh,

Maybe we'll give you back the money you lost.

- What? No, we won't. - Yes, we will.

- Maybe half. - All of it.

- Or I can take the money and not say a thing.

(dramatic music)

(♪♪)

- Look you can call off your goons, alright. I'm a cop.

- I know and I don't care. My father's a diplomat.

I could dump you both in

The river and nobody could touch me.

- They're cheating you.

- What happened to your accent?

- Same thing that happened to your money.

Your buddy with the sunglasses and the dealer there.

They're running the old clark kent.

The cards are marked with infrared ink.

And sunglasses can read 'em.

You should grab him before he leaves.

(beep) - I need you to check out

The sunglasses at the dealer.

(guard): Security. (dealer): Hey, hey! No, no!

Help me! (guard): You're the boss...

- Okay. You bought yourself a couple questions.

So, what about joey?

- He's dead.

- Too bad for him.

- We know you met up with him a couple nights ago.

- We were supposed to, but he didn't show.

- How did you know joey?

- I didn't. He got my number from an old friend.

- Who?

Henry, how long have you worked at the auction house for?

- 23 years. Noah and joey's parents hired me.

- Did they know that you did six years

For robbery when they hired you?

- I was 28-years-old, I just got out of the joint.

Parents hired me when no one else would.

They took a chance on me, made me part of the family.

I'd do anything for them and the boys.

- This is them right here, right? - Yes.

- Is this the chinese restaurant where you get the egg rolls?