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All language subtitles for The Way We Werent (2019) [1080p] [WEBRip] [YTS.MX]

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,251 --> 00:00:12,771 [tense music] 2 00:00:35,621 --> 00:00:37,899 [energetic music] 3 00:00:37,899 --> 00:00:40,557 [siren wailing] 4 00:00:41,731 --> 00:00:45,631 [gunshot bangs] [punches thuds] 5 00:00:45,631 --> 00:00:48,669 [speaking in foreign language] 6 00:00:48,669 --> 00:00:51,016 [chuckling] 7 00:00:52,155 --> 00:00:56,056 [speaking in foreign language] 8 00:00:58,127 --> 00:01:02,717 - I'm so sorry, this is the story of Charlotte and Brandon, 9 00:01:02,717 --> 00:01:04,719 they love my TV show. 10 00:01:04,719 --> 00:01:08,068 Oatmeal, exercise, well, sort of. 11 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:10,484 They both hate sleeping alone. 12 00:01:10,484 --> 00:01:13,107 Beer and hairy nipples. 13 00:01:13,107 --> 00:01:15,903 The good news is they are a perfect match. 14 00:01:15,903 --> 00:01:18,147 The bad news is, they have never met. 15 00:01:18,147 --> 00:01:22,358 And Charlotte is with Steven while Brandon is with Ashley. 16 00:01:25,430 --> 00:01:28,502 [mellow music] 17 00:01:28,502 --> 00:01:29,365 - Oh, um. 18 00:01:30,780 --> 00:01:32,782 Well, I can't marry you 19 00:01:32,782 --> 00:01:35,612 because I'm marrying someone else in May. 20 00:01:35,612 --> 00:01:37,890 - You don't even have a boyfriend. 21 00:01:37,890 --> 00:01:40,341 - Well, actually I do. 22 00:01:40,790 --> 00:01:43,620 We've been together since high school, for 14 years. 23 00:01:43,620 --> 00:01:45,519 It's just that he's been living very far away 24 00:01:45,519 --> 00:01:48,349 and now, he's moving back so we can be together. 25 00:01:48,349 --> 00:01:49,833 - 14 years? 26 00:01:49,833 --> 00:01:51,939 Sounds like commitment issues. 27 00:01:51,939 --> 00:01:53,596 - No, it's just that he was waiting 28 00:01:53,596 --> 00:01:56,081 until we were both ready. 29 00:01:56,081 --> 00:01:58,256 Why am I defending myself to a first grader? 30 00:01:58,256 --> 00:02:00,603 - Well, when it all falls apart, you know where to find me. 31 00:02:01,431 --> 00:02:03,847 - Look, Lance, we've done all the graphics 32 00:02:03,847 --> 00:02:07,886 for your packaging and prints ads at very reasonable rates. 33 00:02:07,886 --> 00:02:11,165 We've created the signature look for Be Yourself Cosmetics. 34 00:02:11,165 --> 00:02:14,824 Now, it's great that your nephew's a whiz at Photoshop 35 00:02:14,824 --> 00:02:16,377 but believe me, there's just so much-- 36 00:02:16,377 --> 00:02:17,723 - Screw you, Lance! 37 00:02:17,723 --> 00:02:19,794 And your oxymoronically named product 38 00:02:19,794 --> 00:02:22,349 and your muttonheaded fucktard nephew! 39 00:02:23,660 --> 00:02:25,110 - Christ, are you off your meds? 40 00:02:25,110 --> 00:02:26,560 That's our biggest account! 41 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:29,183 - He's an asshole, Brandon, asshole. 42 00:02:29,183 --> 00:02:31,599 Bro, I went to RISD with Seth MacFarlane, 43 00:02:31,599 --> 00:02:33,118 I don't need that shit! 44 00:02:33,912 --> 00:02:35,948 - That asshole was paying off my student loans. 45 00:02:35,948 --> 00:02:38,192 - Yeah, and our bills. 46 00:02:38,192 --> 00:02:39,055 Shit! 47 00:02:40,884 --> 00:02:43,922 You think you can get him back on the phone? 48 00:02:43,922 --> 00:02:45,820 - [Lance] I'm still here you broke bitches. 49 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:53,725 [upbeat music] 50 00:03:00,214 --> 00:03:01,215 - For you. 51 00:03:01,215 --> 00:03:02,147 - Thank you. 52 00:03:02,147 --> 00:03:03,355 - [Brandon] My pleasure. 53 00:03:03,355 --> 00:03:05,357 - [Ashley] You're a pretty decent drawer. 54 00:03:05,357 --> 00:03:06,393 - Thank you. 55 00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:11,846 You know, I've been called the Vermeer of napkin art. 56 00:03:11,846 --> 00:03:12,709 - Who? 57 00:03:14,021 --> 00:03:16,782 Did I leave my amethyst necklace at your place? 58 00:03:16,782 --> 00:03:18,819 - Yeah, yeah, think I saw it in the bathroom. 59 00:03:18,819 --> 00:03:21,477 - Okay, remind me to get that from you. 60 00:03:21,477 --> 00:03:24,238 So, my boss gave us free tickets 61 00:03:24,238 --> 00:03:26,378 to the Charger's game Sunday. 62 00:03:26,378 --> 00:03:27,241 Wanna go? 63 00:03:29,070 --> 00:03:30,934 - The 405 on a Sunday? 64 00:03:35,180 --> 00:03:36,802 - Okay, I'll drive. 65 00:03:37,976 --> 00:03:40,392 - Yeah, you know I'm not really into drunk crowds 66 00:03:40,392 --> 00:03:43,050 and football, or people. 67 00:03:43,292 --> 00:03:44,603 - Of course. 68 00:03:44,603 --> 00:03:46,260 - What's that mean? 69 00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:49,159 - You know, I have dated guys with commitment issues. 70 00:03:49,159 --> 00:03:50,126 Lot's of them. 71 00:03:50,126 --> 00:03:51,610 Pretty standard stuff, but you, 72 00:03:51,610 --> 00:03:54,268 I can't even get you to commit to a football game. 73 00:03:54,268 --> 00:03:55,752 - Well, I don't like football. 74 00:03:55,752 --> 00:03:57,582 - It's not that, it's everything. 75 00:03:57,582 --> 00:03:58,583 You won't go to Coachella. 76 00:03:58,583 --> 00:04:00,136 You won't move in together 77 00:04:00,136 --> 00:04:01,379 because that would be moving too fast. 78 00:04:01,379 --> 00:04:03,657 You won't even book that cruise next summer 79 00:04:03,657 --> 00:04:06,073 because a lot can happen in six months! 80 00:04:06,073 --> 00:04:07,833 - Those tickets are non-refundable. 81 00:04:07,833 --> 00:04:10,008 - And you're a cheapskate! 82 00:04:10,008 --> 00:04:11,492 Which is why I thought you'd like the free tickets 83 00:04:11,492 --> 00:04:12,700 in the first place! 84 00:04:12,700 --> 00:04:14,012 - I'm not cheap, my money's tied up. 85 00:04:14,012 --> 00:04:15,531 And I can't go to the game 86 00:04:15,531 --> 00:04:18,119 because I wanna start training for that Rwanda charity ride. 87 00:04:18,119 --> 00:04:19,742 You know, where people are dying. 88 00:04:19,742 --> 00:04:22,158 - Yeah, like that's gonna happen. 89 00:04:22,158 --> 00:04:23,573 - Ashley, Ashley. 90 00:04:24,919 --> 00:04:27,267 Okay, you're right. 91 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:28,129 I'm sorry. 92 00:04:29,476 --> 00:04:33,652 Let's do it Ashley, you and me, Coachella next year. 93 00:04:33,652 --> 00:04:34,619 - [Ashley] Ugh! 94 00:04:34,619 --> 00:04:36,379 - Oh, my god. 95 00:04:36,379 --> 00:04:38,105 You have to see this house. 96 00:04:38,105 --> 00:04:40,625 It has an entertainment room that would be so perfect 97 00:04:40,625 --> 00:04:42,074 for you to have your buddies over 98 00:04:42,074 --> 00:04:44,076 so you can watch your football matches, and then-- 99 00:04:44,076 --> 00:04:46,182 - It's games, it's not matches. 100 00:04:46,182 --> 00:04:48,667 - Uhm, anyway, there's a chef's kitchen, 101 00:04:48,667 --> 00:04:50,428 newly remodeled bathrooms, 102 00:04:50,428 --> 00:04:54,639 there's a study that would make a perfect nursery. 103 00:04:54,639 --> 00:04:58,159 - I think maybe we should hold off on the house. 104 00:04:58,159 --> 00:04:59,299 - Why? 105 00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:03,510 - I just got here, you know, starting a new job. 106 00:05:03,510 --> 00:05:04,890 There's a lot to figure out. 107 00:05:05,028 --> 00:05:08,480 - You don't have to figure us out, right? 108 00:05:10,448 --> 00:05:12,104 You do? 109 00:05:12,104 --> 00:05:13,865 - Now, Charlotte, just wait a minute. 110 00:05:13,865 --> 00:05:15,867 - No, no, no no, no, I am not waiting. 111 00:05:15,867 --> 00:05:18,248 I waited through college, through med school 112 00:05:18,248 --> 00:05:19,388 and through your residency. 113 00:05:19,388 --> 00:05:20,906 That was the plan. 114 00:05:20,906 --> 00:05:23,219 - I know, I know, and you've been so great 115 00:05:23,219 --> 00:05:24,289 through all of that. 116 00:05:24,289 --> 00:05:25,394 - Is there someone else? 117 00:05:25,394 --> 00:05:26,809 Is it that Nurse Newcombe? 118 00:05:26,809 --> 00:05:28,224 - No, no way. 119 00:05:28,224 --> 00:05:29,536 - Well, then what is it? 120 00:05:29,536 --> 00:05:31,400 - It's just, you, 121 00:05:32,815 --> 00:05:34,334 so predictable. 122 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,336 - Wha, wha, wha, what the heck does that mean? 123 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:39,339 - Up every morning at 6:00 a.m., the same Honey Nut Oatmeal, 124 00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,927 you're off to work, back home, then in bed at 10 o'clock. 125 00:05:41,927 --> 00:05:43,308 You don't follow sports. 126 00:05:43,308 --> 00:05:45,483 Sex, missionary position with the lights off. 127 00:05:45,483 --> 00:05:47,105 There's no surprises. 128 00:05:47,105 --> 00:05:49,659 I'm bored out of my mind. 129 00:05:49,659 --> 00:05:53,145 - Well, I didn't know it was so horrible for you. 130 00:05:53,145 --> 00:05:56,390 Well that explains the engagement ring, 131 00:05:56,390 --> 00:06:00,739 the promise ring and the pre-promise ring. 132 00:06:00,739 --> 00:06:03,846 14 years, Steven! 133 00:06:04,156 --> 00:06:07,988 - In hindsight, I probably should have done this sooner. 134 00:06:07,988 --> 00:06:10,024 - Did you bring me up here so I wouldn't make a scene? 135 00:06:10,024 --> 00:06:11,094 Because I am gonna make a scene. 136 00:06:11,094 --> 00:06:12,648 I'm gonna tell everybody in town. 137 00:06:12,648 --> 00:06:13,580 I'm gonna announce it in church-- 138 00:06:13,580 --> 00:06:14,753 - Charlotte, 139 00:06:14,753 --> 00:06:16,272 would you please just-- - I'm gonna put posters up-- 140 00:06:16,272 --> 00:06:17,687 - Hey, calm down and hydrate, please. 141 00:06:17,687 --> 00:06:21,277 - Don't you tell me to hydrate, you jackass! 142 00:06:21,277 --> 00:06:23,383 [groans] 143 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:27,387 [Steven screaming and grunting] 144 00:06:29,181 --> 00:06:30,942 Steven, are you okay? 145 00:06:32,806 --> 00:06:34,635 - [Steven] Fuck no! 146 00:06:34,635 --> 00:06:36,568 - [Judge] We find the defendant, Charlotte Wells, 147 00:06:36,568 --> 00:06:39,744 guilty of criminal assault and battery. 148 00:06:39,744 --> 00:06:42,022 If you complete community service, 149 00:06:42,022 --> 00:06:44,990 anger management classes and probation, 150 00:06:44,990 --> 00:06:47,476 the felony charge will be expunged. 151 00:06:47,476 --> 00:06:49,857 Sentence is 30 days in jail. 152 00:06:53,965 --> 00:06:56,070 - Don't tell me how to live my life. 153 00:06:56,070 --> 00:06:57,727 Yes sir, motherfucker. 154 00:06:57,727 --> 00:06:59,522 Goddamn fucking shit. 155 00:07:01,973 --> 00:07:05,942 I gotta do me, fuck all y'all if you can't appreciate! 156 00:07:05,942 --> 00:07:06,805 Step off! 157 00:07:08,082 --> 00:07:09,981 Who do you think you are, Princess Elsa? 158 00:07:09,981 --> 00:07:12,328 It's not goddamn Arendelle. 159 00:07:12,328 --> 00:07:13,778 Skinny ass bitch! 160 00:07:32,831 --> 00:07:35,455 [lively music] 161 00:07:37,146 --> 00:07:37,905 - Ash? 162 00:07:38,699 --> 00:07:39,562 Ashley? 163 00:07:43,083 --> 00:07:44,464 - [Man] Oh, yeah 164 00:07:47,984 --> 00:07:49,020 Give it baby 165 00:07:51,816 --> 00:07:54,957 That's what I'm talking about, baby 166 00:07:54,957 --> 00:07:56,959 - Ow, ow, hot, hot, hot. 167 00:07:56,959 --> 00:07:58,685 - I'm on fire. 168 00:07:58,685 --> 00:07:59,548 Oh, yeah. 169 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:07,590 - [Man] Somebody's earning their lunch money. 170 00:08:07,590 --> 00:08:08,488 Oh, yeah. 171 00:08:11,387 --> 00:08:13,734 [screaming] 172 00:08:14,873 --> 00:08:16,357 - Jesus, Brandon, what can I say? 173 00:08:16,357 --> 00:08:19,775 She's a treacherous whore, you're better off without her. 174 00:08:19,775 --> 00:08:21,501 You're gonna give yourself a heart attack. 175 00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:22,916 What've you gone, 176 00:08:24,055 --> 00:08:24,987 a mile and a half? 177 00:08:24,987 --> 00:08:27,368 Shit, you're in terrible shape. 178 00:08:27,368 --> 00:08:31,269 - I bought this bike so that I could get fit 179 00:08:31,269 --> 00:08:33,478 and do the Rwanda ride. 180 00:08:33,478 --> 00:08:35,549 You ever seen me on it? 181 00:08:35,549 --> 00:08:36,999 - No. 182 00:08:36,999 --> 00:08:38,552 - The whore's right, Dan. 183 00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:41,279 I can't commit to anything, especially women. 184 00:08:41,279 --> 00:08:43,626 Which explains why I've had 50 girlfriends 185 00:08:43,626 --> 00:08:45,973 in the past 10 years. 186 00:08:45,973 --> 00:08:48,458 I can get 'em but I can't keep 'em. 187 00:08:49,287 --> 00:08:51,323 I want a lasting love, Dan. 188 00:08:51,323 --> 00:08:52,428 I wanna be married. 189 00:08:53,118 --> 00:08:56,052 - You have had a run of lousy luck with women. 190 00:08:56,052 --> 00:08:58,054 - Luck has nothing to do with it, it's me. 191 00:08:58,054 --> 00:08:59,366 It has to be me. 192 00:08:59,366 --> 00:09:01,057 I have to change, Dan. 193 00:09:01,057 --> 00:09:04,198 - Come on champ, you stink, let's go get a shower. 194 00:09:12,137 --> 00:09:12,862 - Welcome home, girl. 195 00:09:12,862 --> 00:09:15,244 [thuds] Oh my god! 196 00:09:15,244 --> 00:09:16,348 Ow! 197 00:09:16,348 --> 00:09:18,281 - Oh, my god. - Ow, ow, ow, ow ow ow! 198 00:09:18,281 --> 00:09:19,904 - I'm so sorry. 199 00:09:19,904 --> 00:09:22,700 Carly, I'm so sorry, it's my prison reflexes. 200 00:09:22,700 --> 00:09:23,493 - Fuck that hurt! 201 00:09:23,493 --> 00:09:25,910 Oh my god, you are so strong. 202 00:09:28,084 --> 00:09:30,121 Is it sick that I envy you? 203 00:09:30,121 --> 00:09:31,950 You're an ass kicker now. 204 00:09:31,950 --> 00:09:34,263 You look great, you've lost weight. 205 00:09:34,263 --> 00:09:35,747 Man, I wanna go to jail. 206 00:09:35,747 --> 00:09:39,406 - Oh yeah, everybody should, and it's so simple. 207 00:09:39,406 --> 00:09:40,959 All you have to do is spend half your life 208 00:09:40,959 --> 00:09:44,031 in a disastrous relationship and commit a felony. 209 00:09:44,031 --> 00:09:46,275 - Okay, none of which was your fault. 210 00:09:46,275 --> 00:09:48,449 - It was all my fault. 211 00:09:48,449 --> 00:09:52,143 - Look, okay, I read online that the average woman 212 00:09:52,143 --> 00:09:53,662 will have four serious relationship before she gets 213 00:09:53,662 --> 00:09:55,387 married. So, at the rate you're going, 214 00:09:55,387 --> 00:09:57,493 you're not gonna get married till like you're 84. 215 00:09:57,493 --> 00:09:59,737 You need to get right back on the horse. 216 00:09:59,737 --> 00:10:01,048 - How? 217 00:10:01,048 --> 00:10:03,085 I have nothing to offer. 218 00:10:03,085 --> 00:10:05,190 Men just want some spontaneous, 219 00:10:05,190 --> 00:10:07,434 unpredictable sexual deviant. 220 00:10:07,883 --> 00:10:09,678 - Girl, you're giving men too much credit. 221 00:10:09,678 --> 00:10:10,955 They're simple beasts. 222 00:10:10,955 --> 00:10:13,751 All's they crave is sex, sports, beer, food 223 00:10:13,751 --> 00:10:15,338 and sometimes a little anal. 224 00:10:15,338 --> 00:10:16,167 - Really? 225 00:10:16,167 --> 00:10:16,823 - Really. 226 00:10:16,823 --> 00:10:17,720 - Really? 227 00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:19,273 - Really. 228 00:10:19,273 --> 00:10:21,621 - Okay, if that's what men want, 229 00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,968 then that is what I'm gonna give them. 230 00:10:23,968 --> 00:10:26,522 Except that last part, not gonna happen. 231 00:10:26,522 --> 00:10:27,868 - [Schweitzer Polizei Frau] Yeah, yeah, 232 00:10:27,868 --> 00:10:30,112 we've all seen the makeover sequence 233 00:10:30,112 --> 00:10:31,976 so I won't bore you with it. 234 00:10:33,356 --> 00:10:35,980 [lively music] 235 00:10:53,998 --> 00:10:55,102 [burping] 236 00:10:55,102 --> 00:10:57,553 - Kapernick, Manning, Brees, cradle the balls! 237 00:10:57,553 --> 00:10:58,865 Work the shaft! 238 00:10:58,865 --> 00:11:00,004 [grunts] - Yes! 239 00:11:00,004 --> 00:11:02,213 You are now an expert on men. 240 00:11:02,213 --> 00:11:04,698 All right, this is all the shit that he gave you 241 00:11:04,698 --> 00:11:06,458 over the last 14 years. 242 00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:08,840 Throw away, sell online and, 243 00:11:11,049 --> 00:11:13,396 whatever the fuck this is. 244 00:11:13,396 --> 00:11:15,744 - Yeah, he got it at an Infectious Diseases Conference 245 00:11:15,744 --> 00:11:17,193 in Shanghai. 246 00:11:17,193 --> 00:11:18,643 I kinda like it. 247 00:11:21,301 --> 00:11:23,096 It's going. 248 00:11:23,717 --> 00:11:25,305 - Yeah, this is disgusting. 249 00:11:27,479 --> 00:11:31,000 [mellow orchestral music] 250 00:11:40,527 --> 00:11:41,424 - Hmm. 251 00:12:38,309 --> 00:12:40,587 [chuckles] 252 00:13:16,934 --> 00:13:18,659 - Wow, so you're a graphic designer, 253 00:13:18,659 --> 00:13:20,385 you must be really artistic. 254 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:24,665 - Well, I have been called the Vermeer of napkin art. 255 00:13:24,665 --> 00:13:27,254 [Schweitzer Polizei Frau speaking in foreign language] 256 00:13:27,254 --> 00:13:29,843 Wait, what are you watching? 257 00:13:29,843 --> 00:13:32,363 - Oh, it's this, this silly show 258 00:13:33,709 --> 00:13:35,849 about this Swiss police woman who is-- 259 00:13:35,849 --> 00:13:37,299 - Schweizer Polizei Frau? 260 00:13:37,299 --> 00:13:38,541 - You know it? 261 00:13:38,541 --> 00:13:39,542 - Ja! 262 00:13:39,542 --> 00:13:40,889 [speaking in foreign language] 263 00:13:40,889 --> 00:13:42,787 [laughs] 264 00:13:42,787 --> 00:13:45,859 I binge-watched all seven seasons in like six days. 265 00:13:45,859 --> 00:13:47,412 - Yeah, I'm on season four. 266 00:13:47,412 --> 00:13:49,829 - Oh, there's great ones coming up. 267 00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:53,833 - We talked last night for four hours. 268 00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:56,180 I think he's a really nice guy. 269 00:13:56,180 --> 00:13:57,181 - Oh. 270 00:13:57,181 --> 00:13:59,045 - Do you think I should tell him about Steven? 271 00:13:59,045 --> 00:14:01,841 - If you never wanna hear from him again. 272 00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:05,120 Dating one guy your whole life might come off a little-- 273 00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:06,121 - Sad? - Freakish. 274 00:14:06,121 --> 00:14:08,261 Like you were raised on a polygamist compound. 275 00:14:08,261 --> 00:14:10,677 Don't show him the woman you were, 276 00:14:10,677 --> 00:14:13,611 show him the woman you're going to be. 277 00:14:14,060 --> 00:14:15,440 - You mean lie? 278 00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:17,063 - Hell yes, lie. 279 00:14:17,063 --> 00:14:19,859 Don't tell her you have 56K in student loans. 280 00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,722 Tell her you have a 10 inch schlong 281 00:14:21,722 --> 00:14:24,242 and you're the heir to Walmart fortune. 282 00:14:24,242 --> 00:14:25,140 It's the internet. 283 00:14:25,140 --> 00:14:26,693 If you're not lying, your not trying. 284 00:14:28,005 --> 00:14:28,971 Hey, hey! 285 00:14:30,766 --> 00:14:32,872 - My last boyfriend? Uh... 286 00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:38,463 Let's see, I was with him for 14 months. 287 00:14:38,463 --> 00:14:42,019 - Wow, so brief. 288 00:14:42,019 --> 00:14:44,745 - Well, how long do your relationships only last for? 289 00:14:44,745 --> 00:14:47,956 - Uh, you know, two, 290 00:14:47,956 --> 00:14:49,095 three years. 291 00:14:49,095 --> 00:14:51,200 - So, you haven't been with that many women. 292 00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:53,099 - A handful. 293 00:14:53,099 --> 00:14:57,103 You know, for me, it's more about quality than quantity. 294 00:14:57,103 --> 00:14:58,621 My biggest fault? 295 00:14:58,621 --> 00:15:01,141 Sometimes, I give too much, you know, 296 00:15:01,141 --> 00:15:02,936 whether it's work or relationships. 297 00:15:02,936 --> 00:15:06,560 I'm all in, kind of a warp speed ahead kinda guy. 298 00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:09,287 - And sometimes, I'm so spontaneous and unpredictable 299 00:15:09,287 --> 00:15:10,806 that people find it exhausting. 300 00:15:10,806 --> 00:15:12,532 But I'm working on that. 301 00:15:13,257 --> 00:15:14,741 I mean maybe 'cause I'm country 302 00:15:14,741 --> 00:15:17,847 but there's nothing like a cold brewski, right? 303 00:15:17,847 --> 00:15:19,263 - Hell yeah. 304 00:15:19,263 --> 00:15:20,678 - Steelers baby! 305 00:15:20,678 --> 00:15:22,473 Big Ben is my boy. 306 00:15:22,473 --> 00:15:25,821 - The San Diego Super Chargers! 307 00:15:26,615 --> 00:15:28,617 - Well, you're looking at the two-time 308 00:15:28,617 --> 00:15:31,240 salsa dancing champion of West Virginia. 309 00:15:33,794 --> 00:15:36,418 - Look, I'm not saying I'm Lance Armstrong or anything, 310 00:15:36,418 --> 00:15:38,247 I'm kinda on the level just below him, 311 00:15:38,247 --> 00:15:40,318 but cycling is my passion. 312 00:15:40,318 --> 00:15:42,458 - God, you're food looks amazing, 313 00:15:42,458 --> 00:15:44,219 where did you learn to cook? 314 00:15:44,219 --> 00:15:45,116 - Oh please, look at you, 315 00:15:45,116 --> 00:15:46,600 making your own pasta from scratch? 316 00:15:48,533 --> 00:15:50,052 You have beautiful eyes. 317 00:15:50,052 --> 00:15:52,261 - You have a very sexy smile. 318 00:15:53,159 --> 00:15:54,229 - Salut. 319 00:15:54,229 --> 00:15:55,437 - Saluts. 320 00:15:55,851 --> 00:15:57,370 - Oh, oh, god! 321 00:15:57,370 --> 00:15:58,992 - [Charlotte] Hey. 322 00:15:58,992 --> 00:15:59,786 - Ah, no, no! 323 00:15:59,786 --> 00:16:00,925 No, it's not what you think. 324 00:16:00,925 --> 00:16:04,929 I just, I didn't have time to get dressed before-- 325 00:16:04,929 --> 00:16:05,481 - Me too. 326 00:16:09,209 --> 00:16:10,348 - I want you. 327 00:16:10,348 --> 00:16:11,591 Come to LA. 328 00:16:11,591 --> 00:16:13,282 I'll pay for the ticket. 329 00:16:13,282 --> 00:16:16,113 - Look, I want to so bad, but I looked into tickets, 330 00:16:16,113 --> 00:16:18,253 they are $700. 331 00:16:18,253 --> 00:16:19,599 - Or we could split it, 332 00:16:19,599 --> 00:16:22,188 if it feels like I coming on too strong. 333 00:16:22,188 --> 00:16:25,812 - This is gonna be so amazing! 334 00:16:26,019 --> 00:16:28,159 Oh my god, I can't believe I'm here. 335 00:16:28,159 --> 00:16:29,678 - [Brandon] I can't believe you're here. 336 00:16:29,678 --> 00:16:32,198 - [Charlotte] Oh, I love your car. 337 00:16:32,198 --> 00:16:33,164 - [Brandon] Thanks. 338 00:16:33,164 --> 00:16:34,579 [lively music] 339 00:16:34,579 --> 00:16:38,135 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh 340 00:16:38,135 --> 00:16:40,723 ♪ I am done 341 00:16:40,723 --> 00:16:42,794 ♪ Is it that I like you 342 00:16:42,794 --> 00:16:45,832 - So that's the Getty Villa, right there. 343 00:16:45,832 --> 00:16:47,592 J. Paul Getty was the world's richest man 344 00:16:47,592 --> 00:16:51,044 but he had a pay phone for all his house guests. 345 00:16:51,044 --> 00:16:53,495 - Oh god, what a cheapskate. 346 00:16:53,495 --> 00:16:56,049 I hate that! 347 00:16:56,049 --> 00:16:57,913 - Yeah. 348 00:16:58,017 --> 00:16:59,915 Me too. 349 00:17:00,985 --> 00:17:02,331 - Hey, isn't that, that restaurant 350 00:17:02,331 --> 00:17:03,953 where all the celebrities hang out? 351 00:17:04,195 --> 00:17:05,127 - [Brandon] Yeah. 352 00:17:05,127 --> 00:17:06,542 - [Charlotte] Have you ever been there? 353 00:17:06,542 --> 00:17:07,474 - Sure. 354 00:17:07,474 --> 00:17:09,131 - Oh, I bet it's amazing. 355 00:17:09,925 --> 00:17:12,548 [lively music] 356 00:17:19,279 --> 00:17:22,558 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh 357 00:17:22,558 --> 00:17:25,872 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh 358 00:17:25,872 --> 00:17:27,701 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh 359 00:17:27,701 --> 00:17:32,189 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh 360 00:17:32,189 --> 00:17:35,433 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh 361 00:17:35,433 --> 00:17:37,159 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh 362 00:17:39,575 --> 00:17:40,887 - [Brandon] It's gettin' kinda chilly, huh. 363 00:17:40,887 --> 00:17:42,302 - Yeah. - Wanna head back? 364 00:17:42,302 --> 00:17:43,890 - Sure. 365 00:17:44,097 --> 00:17:47,031 Or, we could jump in the water. 366 00:17:49,654 --> 00:17:50,621 - Yeah, right. 367 00:17:50,621 --> 00:17:51,863 - No, I'm serious. 368 00:17:51,863 --> 00:17:53,865 - Come on, Charlotte, you just ate five course meal, 369 00:17:53,865 --> 00:17:54,763 you're not going for a swim. 370 00:17:54,763 --> 00:17:55,902 - No, come on, let's do it. 371 00:17:55,902 --> 00:17:57,248 I've never even been in the ocean before 372 00:17:57,248 --> 00:17:58,594 and it would just be like absolutely-- 373 00:17:58,594 --> 00:18:00,009 - Hey, hey, listen to me. 374 00:18:00,009 --> 00:18:02,150 We're not jumping off the pier. 375 00:18:02,150 --> 00:18:03,392 [Charlotte laughing] 376 00:18:03,392 --> 00:18:04,359 Oh, my god. 377 00:18:05,222 --> 00:18:08,121 Okay, you are completely insane! 378 00:18:08,121 --> 00:18:08,949 - Really? 379 00:18:08,949 --> 00:18:10,089 - Yes, you're crazy. 380 00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:12,884 - And you are the most exciting guy I've ever met. 381 00:18:13,471 --> 00:18:14,023 - Really? 382 00:18:14,023 --> 00:18:14,679 - Yeah. 383 00:18:17,820 --> 00:18:20,444 [mellow music] 384 00:18:31,731 --> 00:18:33,146 [Charlotte giggling] 385 00:18:38,669 --> 00:18:40,498 All right, Carly, let's see what you got me. 386 00:18:41,741 --> 00:18:42,811 How does... 387 00:18:42,811 --> 00:18:45,089 I don't even... 388 00:18:45,089 --> 00:18:46,642 I'm not using that. 389 00:18:54,719 --> 00:18:55,858 I've seen thicker dental floss. 390 00:19:04,073 --> 00:19:06,352 You are one sexy bitch, Charlotte. 391 00:19:06,352 --> 00:19:08,561 And you've had sex with a thousand men. 392 00:19:08,561 --> 00:19:09,493 With a hundred men. 393 00:19:09,493 --> 00:19:11,909 23, eight, eight. 394 00:19:20,193 --> 00:19:24,335 You're gonna go in there and be just a super sexy lady. 395 00:19:26,199 --> 00:19:28,167 God, I look like my mom with these things. 396 00:19:40,213 --> 00:19:42,836 [mellow music] 397 00:20:10,899 --> 00:20:11,624 - [Charlotte] Ow! 398 00:20:11,624 --> 00:20:13,073 - Oh, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. 399 00:20:13,073 --> 00:20:14,074 - So you like it rough? 400 00:20:14,074 --> 00:20:15,524 - Huh, oh no, I was just-- 401 00:20:15,524 --> 00:20:17,181 - 'Cause I can be really rough. 402 00:20:17,181 --> 00:20:20,564 - Oh yeah, no, I'm rough, I'm like super rough. 403 00:20:20,564 --> 00:20:21,875 - Like this kinda rough? 404 00:20:21,875 --> 00:20:22,807 - Ah! 405 00:20:22,807 --> 00:20:23,912 Oh! 406 00:20:23,912 --> 00:20:27,226 Goin' for the sexy proctologist, yeah, no I dig that. 407 00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:28,088 - Yeah? 408 00:20:28,088 --> 00:20:29,228 - Is that all you got? 409 00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:31,057 - You're in luck 'cause his two friends 410 00:20:31,057 --> 00:20:32,955 just decided to join the party. 411 00:20:32,955 --> 00:20:35,164 [yelling] 412 00:20:40,722 --> 00:20:42,793 - What're you thinking? 413 00:20:44,208 --> 00:20:46,141 - I was just thinking, uhm 414 00:20:47,729 --> 00:20:50,870 I was just wondering, 415 00:20:50,870 --> 00:20:54,114 if it's too soon to tell him that um, 416 00:20:55,495 --> 00:20:57,601 he's just the kind of man I've always wanted to be with. 417 00:20:58,912 --> 00:21:02,053 Confident and uhm, 418 00:21:02,053 --> 00:21:04,470 unhesitating, 419 00:21:04,470 --> 00:21:05,712 sure of what he wants. 420 00:21:07,058 --> 00:21:08,612 Extremely handsome. 421 00:21:08,612 --> 00:21:10,717 - Well. 422 00:21:10,717 --> 00:21:12,754 - And um, 423 00:21:14,652 --> 00:21:16,723 it's gonna break my heart to get back on that plane. 424 00:21:20,555 --> 00:21:22,177 - Well, that's funny actually, 425 00:21:22,177 --> 00:21:27,562 because I was thinking that she is 426 00:21:27,562 --> 00:21:30,979 the most exciting 427 00:21:30,979 --> 00:21:34,879 and spontaneous person 428 00:21:34,879 --> 00:21:37,848 I've met in my entire life. 429 00:21:37,848 --> 00:21:41,369 Not to mention gorgeous, bombshell, knockout 430 00:21:42,473 --> 00:21:44,648 and blonde too, the most blonde person. 431 00:21:44,648 --> 00:21:46,960 [laughing] 432 00:21:48,341 --> 00:21:49,480 And I was actually wondering 433 00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:51,137 if it's too soon to give her this. 434 00:21:55,106 --> 00:21:57,108 And to tell her that I love her. 435 00:21:58,593 --> 00:22:00,388 [lively music] 436 00:22:14,781 --> 00:22:16,024 [yelling and cheering] 437 00:22:25,689 --> 00:22:28,312 - I know this is moving insanely fast 438 00:22:28,312 --> 00:22:31,108 but she's not like the women here. 439 00:22:31,108 --> 00:22:32,834 - Is that a heel mark? 440 00:22:32,834 --> 00:22:34,974 - She's sexy and smart 441 00:22:34,974 --> 00:22:36,700 and we just have this, this connection! 442 00:22:36,700 --> 00:22:38,805 - What did you get on my upholstery? 443 00:22:38,805 --> 00:22:40,255 - Oh, that's just saltwater. 444 00:22:40,255 --> 00:22:42,015 - Is that what the kids are calling it? 445 00:22:42,015 --> 00:22:43,948 You desecrated the Stang! 446 00:22:43,948 --> 00:22:45,467 - Dude, I'll get it washed and waxed. 447 00:22:45,467 --> 00:22:47,296 Are you listening to what I'm saying, I'm in love. 448 00:22:47,296 --> 00:22:49,091 - I can clearly see that you're excited 449 00:22:49,091 --> 00:22:51,473 and I'm very happy for you, really I am. 450 00:22:51,473 --> 00:22:52,336 Okay yes. 451 00:22:58,066 --> 00:22:59,964 You might wanna keep this for your scrap book. 452 00:22:59,964 --> 00:23:00,793 - Oh, yes. 453 00:23:02,657 --> 00:23:03,830 That's her neck. 454 00:23:03,830 --> 00:23:04,693 Just smell that. 455 00:23:04,693 --> 00:23:05,729 - No. - Just smell. 456 00:23:05,729 --> 00:23:06,902 It's just a neck. -It's not.. 457 00:23:06,902 --> 00:23:08,559 It's a neutral zone. - This is not appropriate. 458 00:23:08,559 --> 00:23:10,492 - [Brandon] Oh god, that's good. 459 00:23:10,492 --> 00:23:14,220 - And, did you do the things that we talked about? 460 00:23:14,220 --> 00:23:16,084 - We did things no one talks about. 461 00:23:16,084 --> 00:23:19,018 - Ooh, and how did that go? 462 00:23:19,018 --> 00:23:20,364 - He gave me this. 463 00:23:20,364 --> 00:23:21,572 - Oh, my god. 464 00:23:21,572 --> 00:23:23,505 - And he told me that he loves me. 465 00:23:23,505 --> 00:23:25,231 - Oh, my god! 466 00:23:25,231 --> 00:23:26,784 - I know, and I told him I love him too 467 00:23:26,784 --> 00:23:29,338 which I know seems like crazy and rushed 468 00:23:29,338 --> 00:23:32,203 but it was just so magical. 469 00:23:32,203 --> 00:23:34,067 - That no good mother. 470 00:23:47,011 --> 00:23:48,565 - You know, good for him. 471 00:23:48,565 --> 00:23:50,601 Good for him, he deserves to be happy. 472 00:23:50,601 --> 00:23:52,154 - [Carly] Char-- 473 00:23:52,154 --> 00:23:54,294 - I know what you're gonna say and I'm gonna be fine 474 00:23:54,294 --> 00:23:57,505 because I'm happy and he's happy. 475 00:23:57,505 --> 00:23:59,230 - Charlotte! - And everybody's happy. 476 00:23:59,230 --> 00:24:00,059 - Charlotte! 477 00:24:00,059 --> 00:24:01,094 - It's gonna be, 478 00:24:01,094 --> 00:24:01,957 oh my god! 479 00:24:05,892 --> 00:24:08,481 [lively music] 480 00:24:12,899 --> 00:24:13,762 Asshole! 481 00:24:15,281 --> 00:24:18,422 - No, you cannot cause an avalanche just by yodeling. 482 00:24:18,422 --> 00:24:21,667 - No, I am telling you, it is completely possible. 483 00:24:21,667 --> 00:24:22,944 - You can't. 484 00:24:22,944 --> 00:24:24,463 And even if you could, 485 00:24:24,463 --> 00:24:27,017 you can't make it fall right on a fleeing bank robber. 486 00:24:27,017 --> 00:24:29,226 - Schweizer Polizei Frau can. 487 00:24:29,226 --> 00:24:30,261 - Yeah well. 488 00:24:31,815 --> 00:24:35,750 Hey, I made something at work today, you mind taking a look? 489 00:24:35,750 --> 00:24:36,889 - Yeah, sure. 490 00:24:38,131 --> 00:24:41,272 [light mellow music] 491 00:24:43,033 --> 00:24:44,724 Hey, is that me? 492 00:24:44,724 --> 00:24:45,829 Lookin' good. 493 00:24:53,250 --> 00:24:55,770 Oh, thank you, it's beautiful. 494 00:24:58,911 --> 00:25:01,189 [laughing] 495 00:25:07,782 --> 00:25:11,648 It would be the most unpredictable thing ever. 496 00:25:13,650 --> 00:25:16,860 - It would be the ultimate commitment. 497 00:25:19,172 --> 00:25:22,313 [light mellow music] 498 00:25:26,455 --> 00:25:27,422 - Geronimo! 499 00:25:32,531 --> 00:25:34,809 [laughing] 500 00:25:38,951 --> 00:25:40,055 We want a divorce. 501 00:25:40,055 --> 00:25:41,367 - Between the two of ya? 502 00:25:41,367 --> 00:25:42,333 - Yep. 503 00:25:42,333 --> 00:25:43,576 - Well, I'll be, usually, 504 00:25:43,576 --> 00:25:46,337 I represent only one party's interests. 505 00:25:46,337 --> 00:25:47,269 - We have the same interest. 506 00:25:47,269 --> 00:25:48,650 - An immediate divorce. 507 00:25:48,650 --> 00:25:50,583 - Well then, I reckon we oughta discuss 508 00:25:50,583 --> 00:25:52,378 dividin' property, assets-- 509 00:25:52,378 --> 00:25:53,724 - We don't have any. 510 00:25:53,724 --> 00:25:56,278 - How long you two been hitched? 511 00:25:56,278 --> 00:25:57,832 - [Brandon And Charlotte] 10 days. 512 00:25:57,832 --> 00:25:58,695 - 10 days? 513 00:26:02,871 --> 00:26:05,425 [mellow music] 514 00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:09,360 - [Brandon And Charlotte] Oh! 515 00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:10,534 - Thank you so much, Carly. 516 00:26:10,534 --> 00:26:13,054 - Thanks, Carly, it's awesome! 517 00:26:13,986 --> 00:26:15,504 - Oh, and that is from us. 518 00:26:15,504 --> 00:26:16,609 - Oh. 519 00:26:16,609 --> 00:26:17,472 Thank you. 520 00:26:25,376 --> 00:26:29,242 Aw, thank you very much, that's so sweet, Jerry and Judy. 521 00:26:29,242 --> 00:26:31,728 - Thanks, Mom, thanks, Dad, that's uh. 522 00:26:31,728 --> 00:26:33,971 - No, the people of Tibet thank you. 523 00:26:33,971 --> 00:26:37,975 - It's such a noble gesture in your name. 524 00:26:37,975 --> 00:26:39,598 - Though it has none of the bourgeoisie cache 525 00:26:39,598 --> 00:26:42,014 of a shiny kitchen appliance. 526 00:26:43,636 --> 00:26:46,052 - Anyway, speaking of exotic places, 527 00:26:46,052 --> 00:26:47,433 have you guys finally decided 528 00:26:47,433 --> 00:26:48,676 where you're gonna take your honeymoon? 529 00:26:48,676 --> 00:26:50,885 - Not yet, I'm start teaching really soon 530 00:26:50,885 --> 00:26:54,336 and we have to find a bigger apartment or maybe a house. 531 00:26:54,336 --> 00:26:56,062 - Oh. [chuckles] 532 00:26:56,062 --> 00:26:58,064 - So we have to put that on hold. 533 00:26:58,064 --> 00:27:00,446 - No, no, no, you must do something special, Brandon. 534 00:27:00,446 --> 00:27:02,310 Sri Lanka is lovely. 535 00:27:02,310 --> 00:27:04,519 - As far as exploited, underdeveloped 536 00:27:04,519 --> 00:27:05,831 island nations go. 537 00:27:05,831 --> 00:27:09,041 It's really the sad teardrop of the Indian subcontinent. 538 00:27:09,041 --> 00:27:10,732 - But the beaches are beautiful. 539 00:27:10,732 --> 00:27:12,251 - Well, that sounds fun, right, honey? 540 00:27:12,251 --> 00:27:15,806 - Oh yeah, it's just a shame about all the tsunamis. 541 00:27:15,806 --> 00:27:17,256 I'll tell you what though, for special, 542 00:27:17,256 --> 00:27:18,878 there's some really great spots 543 00:27:18,878 --> 00:27:20,569 right within driving distance. 544 00:27:20,569 --> 00:27:23,918 I mean, San Diego, Santa Barbara, Pismo. 545 00:27:25,574 --> 00:27:26,817 - Oh, what about you? 546 00:27:26,817 --> 00:27:28,232 Where'd you two go on your honeymoon? 547 00:27:28,232 --> 00:27:29,337 - Jail. 548 00:27:29,337 --> 00:27:31,650 [laughing] 549 00:27:33,617 --> 00:27:35,032 - [Judy] He's not kidding. 550 00:27:35,032 --> 00:27:36,447 - After we exchanged our vows, 551 00:27:36,447 --> 00:27:38,518 we went off to a No Nukes rally, 552 00:27:38,518 --> 00:27:41,383 she acted up and the po-po picked us up 553 00:27:41,383 --> 00:27:42,764 and threw us both in the slammer. 554 00:27:42,764 --> 00:27:45,353 - So you spent your whole honeymoon in jail? 555 00:27:45,353 --> 00:27:46,803 - We had only known each other 10 days 556 00:27:46,803 --> 00:27:50,634 so every minute we spent together was like a honeymoon. 557 00:27:50,634 --> 00:27:54,500 And we actually managed to slip a little connubial bliss in 558 00:27:54,500 --> 00:27:56,778 right under the man's nose. 559 00:27:59,229 --> 00:28:01,334 So we were in adjacent cells, right, 560 00:28:01,334 --> 00:28:04,027 and right after all of the other inmates went to sleep, 561 00:28:04,027 --> 00:28:06,892 my beautiful bride, she backed her tight little rump 562 00:28:06,892 --> 00:28:08,721 right up against the bars, 563 00:28:08,721 --> 00:28:13,726 I dropped trou and we made the sweetest, sweetest love. 564 00:28:13,726 --> 00:28:16,591 - Oh, oh, Christ, I need a drink! 565 00:28:20,906 --> 00:28:23,184 - Being an only child and losing both my parents, 566 00:28:23,184 --> 00:28:26,359 I definitely want a big family, like three or four kids. 567 00:28:26,359 --> 00:28:28,534 - You know, they say, it costs over a quarter million 568 00:28:28,534 --> 00:28:31,813 to raise a child and that's before college. 569 00:28:31,813 --> 00:28:34,816 - You can't put a price tag on happiness. 570 00:28:34,816 --> 00:28:38,613 - True but I was an only child and I have to say, 571 00:28:38,613 --> 00:28:39,545 I was very happy. 572 00:28:39,545 --> 00:28:41,512 - Oh come on, Brandon. 573 00:28:41,512 --> 00:28:43,342 You use to always want a younger brother. 574 00:28:43,342 --> 00:28:46,448 - And a matter of fact, Brandon was an accident. 575 00:28:46,448 --> 00:28:48,140 - We thought long and hard 576 00:28:48,140 --> 00:28:50,142 about whether or not we should keep him. 577 00:28:50,142 --> 00:28:52,006 - You were gonna put him up for adoption? 578 00:28:52,006 --> 00:28:54,422 - Oh god no, I wouldn't have the heart for that. 579 00:28:54,422 --> 00:28:57,114 We were gonna abort him. 580 00:28:57,114 --> 00:28:57,977 - Jesus. 581 00:28:59,082 --> 00:29:00,600 - But we were in Burma, 582 00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:03,120 we couldn't find anyone to perform the procedure. 583 00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:04,087 - Thank god. 584 00:29:05,226 --> 00:29:07,504 - I think we made the right decision. 585 00:29:07,504 --> 00:29:08,436 - I do too. 586 00:29:09,678 --> 00:29:11,059 Most of the time. 587 00:29:11,059 --> 00:29:13,441 - [Judy] Oh, Jerry. 588 00:29:13,441 --> 00:29:14,925 - Hey, you know, we better get going, 589 00:29:14,925 --> 00:29:17,928 we got a flight to catch, we gotta get to Buenos Aries. 590 00:29:17,928 --> 00:29:20,172 - Oh, leaving so soon? 591 00:29:20,172 --> 00:29:21,449 - We're gonna the Antarctica, 592 00:29:21,449 --> 00:29:23,796 we're gonna scuttle some Japanese whale killers. 593 00:29:23,796 --> 00:29:25,039 - If it were up to me, 594 00:29:25,039 --> 00:29:27,420 I'd have those boats sunk in the ocean 595 00:29:27,420 --> 00:29:30,769 and have any remaining survivors fed to the sharks. 596 00:29:30,769 --> 00:29:32,736 - I hear you, I respect your feelings. 597 00:29:32,736 --> 00:29:35,808 Now, get you things we gotta go, we gonna be late. 598 00:29:35,808 --> 00:29:38,811 - Charlotte, it's been so lovely meeting you. 599 00:29:38,811 --> 00:29:39,812 - Likewise. 600 00:29:39,812 --> 00:29:41,227 - Carly, till next time. 601 00:29:41,227 --> 00:29:43,091 - Okay, let's go. 602 00:29:43,091 --> 00:29:47,786 She gets so blood thirsty when it comes to the Japanese. 603 00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:51,824 - Those are some weird fucking people. 604 00:29:51,824 --> 00:29:54,931 - Okay, I don't know, they're unique. 605 00:29:56,553 --> 00:29:58,693 It's kinda refreshing. 606 00:29:58,693 --> 00:29:59,832 - You need to be thankful 607 00:29:59,832 --> 00:30:01,351 that their DNA skipped a generation. 608 00:30:01,351 --> 00:30:03,284 [laughing] 609 00:30:03,284 --> 00:30:06,080 - But isn't, Brandon's pretty amazing, right? 610 00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:08,254 - You did good, girl. 611 00:30:08,254 --> 00:30:10,947 And he can't freak if he finds out that you're a jail bird. 612 00:30:10,947 --> 00:30:12,086 'Cause with parents like that, 613 00:30:12,086 --> 00:30:13,708 he was probably conceived in the joint. 614 00:30:13,708 --> 00:30:15,779 - Why would you tell Charlotte the Stang is yours? 615 00:30:15,779 --> 00:30:17,332 - You're the one who told me to lie. 616 00:30:17,332 --> 00:30:19,334 - When you're trying to lure her to the honey pot! 617 00:30:19,334 --> 00:30:21,164 You can't keep it going now that you're married. 618 00:30:21,164 --> 00:30:22,406 It's insane. 619 00:30:22,406 --> 00:30:23,891 - Just let me break it to her slowly, okay? 620 00:30:23,891 --> 00:30:26,479 Can you go along with it for a couple weeks? 621 00:30:26,479 --> 00:30:27,618 Come on man, you have another car. 622 00:30:27,618 --> 00:30:28,619 Please, I'll owe you. 623 00:30:28,619 --> 00:30:29,551 - With what? 624 00:30:29,551 --> 00:30:30,794 You don't have any money. 625 00:30:30,794 --> 00:30:32,244 - Which you also told me not to tell her about. 626 00:30:32,244 --> 00:30:35,143 And now she's talking about honeymoons and houses and kids. 627 00:30:35,143 --> 00:30:37,525 - Well, you screwed up, man, you took my advice. 628 00:30:37,525 --> 00:30:40,183 Okay, okay, okay okay, you can take the Stang 629 00:30:40,183 --> 00:30:42,150 for a couple more weeks but, but 630 00:30:42,150 --> 00:30:44,256 if I see you drive it more than twice, 631 00:30:44,256 --> 00:30:46,258 I will bring down your house of cards. 632 00:30:46,258 --> 00:30:47,259 - Understood, thanks. 633 00:30:47,259 --> 00:30:48,777 I'll see you at dinner. 634 00:30:48,777 --> 00:30:51,677 - No, this is yours now, you have to take care of it! 635 00:30:51,677 --> 00:30:52,505 - Oh! 636 00:30:53,748 --> 00:30:55,750 - Our first dinner party as a married couple. 637 00:30:55,750 --> 00:30:56,578 - Yeah. 638 00:30:56,578 --> 00:30:58,615 - What are you making? 639 00:30:58,615 --> 00:31:03,551 - Well, I thought maybe you could make your homemade pasta. 640 00:31:06,899 --> 00:31:08,383 [Dan laughing] 641 00:31:08,383 --> 00:31:10,903 - I remember on our honeymoon, we went to a movie in Maui 642 00:31:10,903 --> 00:31:13,078 and Dan was playing with his wedding ring, 643 00:31:13,078 --> 00:31:15,252 it fell off and rolled down the floor. 644 00:31:15,252 --> 00:31:16,495 Ting, ting, ting, ting. 645 00:31:16,495 --> 00:31:17,910 We had to wait till the movie was over 646 00:31:17,910 --> 00:31:19,394 and then search through all this popcorn 647 00:31:19,394 --> 00:31:21,880 and crud and found it in a puddle of Pepsi. 648 00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:23,536 - [Dan] She was really mad. 649 00:31:23,536 --> 00:31:25,193 - And then the next week, he does it again! 650 00:31:25,193 --> 00:31:27,920 - And she punched me right in the dick. 651 00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:30,026 [laughing] 652 00:31:30,026 --> 00:31:32,787 - You're lucky I didn't divorce you. 653 00:31:32,787 --> 00:31:35,307 It turned out he done it intentionally. 654 00:31:35,307 --> 00:31:37,240 - Well yeah, so I had tied it to a string 655 00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:39,932 and I was pulling it along and she kept going after it. 656 00:31:39,932 --> 00:31:41,209 That was really. 657 00:31:41,209 --> 00:31:43,971 [laughing] 658 00:31:43,971 --> 00:31:45,558 - Oh god, weren't you furious? 659 00:31:45,558 --> 00:31:46,387 - Yes. 660 00:31:47,629 --> 00:31:50,322 But then I realized that this is who Dan is 661 00:31:50,322 --> 00:31:52,255 and that's why I love him. 662 00:31:52,255 --> 00:31:53,635 - [Dan] That's why she loves me. 663 00:31:53,635 --> 00:31:55,085 - He's a lovable jackass. 664 00:31:55,085 --> 00:31:57,018 - My ass is very jacked. 665 00:31:57,018 --> 00:31:58,640 [laughing] 666 00:31:58,640 --> 00:31:59,641 - Moving on! 667 00:32:00,780 --> 00:32:03,611 Brandon, what is your biggest regret? 668 00:32:03,611 --> 00:32:06,027 - My choice of best friends. 669 00:32:06,027 --> 00:32:06,994 - I was just being honest. 670 00:32:06,994 --> 00:32:08,892 I'm just being honest. 671 00:32:10,618 --> 00:32:13,276 - I guess maybe not visiting my grandpa enough 672 00:32:13,276 --> 00:32:14,553 before he died. 673 00:32:15,692 --> 00:32:16,969 He was living in this nursing home 674 00:32:16,969 --> 00:32:19,938 like a mile from our house and, 675 00:32:19,938 --> 00:32:21,353 I don't know, I guess I was too busy 676 00:32:21,353 --> 00:32:23,562 being a teenager or something. 677 00:32:26,185 --> 00:32:29,395 Anyway, I hope he forgave me. 678 00:32:29,395 --> 00:32:30,810 - Of course he did. 679 00:32:30,810 --> 00:32:32,674 He knew you loved him. 680 00:32:47,966 --> 00:32:51,383 - Okay, I gonna say what we're all thinking. 681 00:32:51,383 --> 00:32:52,211 Four-way. 682 00:32:53,316 --> 00:32:54,144 Hey! 683 00:33:04,948 --> 00:33:07,951 - Hey, how come you never wear that necklace I gave you? 684 00:33:07,951 --> 00:33:09,746 Don't you like it? 685 00:33:09,746 --> 00:33:10,678 - I love it. 686 00:33:10,678 --> 00:33:12,438 I absolutely love it. 687 00:33:13,267 --> 00:33:15,200 And you know what else I love? 688 00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:16,891 That pretty little ass of yours. 689 00:33:16,891 --> 00:33:19,135 [laughing] 690 00:33:20,032 --> 00:33:22,586 You remember the three amigos? 691 00:33:24,450 --> 00:33:27,384 [lively music] 692 00:33:27,384 --> 00:33:28,247 - Arriba! 693 00:33:29,214 --> 00:33:30,353 - [Man] Whoo! 694 00:33:32,803 --> 00:33:35,323 [tense music] 695 00:33:39,051 --> 00:33:40,915 [speaking in foreign language] 696 00:33:40,915 --> 00:33:43,849 - Schweitzer Polizei Frau. 697 00:33:43,849 --> 00:33:46,127 [laughing] 698 00:33:50,304 --> 00:33:52,064 - What are you working on? 699 00:33:52,064 --> 00:33:53,755 - Welfare application. 700 00:33:53,755 --> 00:33:55,343 You? 701 00:33:55,343 --> 00:33:57,104 - Suicide note. 702 00:33:57,104 --> 00:33:58,001 - Touche. 703 00:33:59,554 --> 00:34:01,315 - You know, screw it! 704 00:34:01,315 --> 00:34:04,076 I guess I'm gonna call that slimy prick Matthew 705 00:34:04,076 --> 00:34:05,664 and see if he'll throw us a bone. 706 00:34:05,664 --> 00:34:08,046 - Oh man, that's gonna suck. 707 00:34:09,392 --> 00:34:10,945 You just know he's gonna make you feel like a pathetic, 708 00:34:10,945 --> 00:34:13,430 shit-eating failure. 709 00:34:13,430 --> 00:34:14,983 I'll call for you. 710 00:34:16,985 --> 00:34:18,435 - I'm just so glad I found it. 711 00:34:18,435 --> 00:34:20,127 I had to go to 10 different stores to find it, 712 00:34:20,127 --> 00:34:21,783 and it cost $1,200. 713 00:34:22,612 --> 00:34:23,992 - [Carly] Oh, at that price, 714 00:34:23,992 --> 00:34:25,511 I think I would have just come clean. 715 00:34:25,511 --> 00:34:30,102 - Yeah, I wanted to but he spent so much money on it, 716 00:34:30,102 --> 00:34:33,519 and, I don't know, he picked it out himself 717 00:34:33,519 --> 00:34:36,212 which I think is very sweet, so. 718 00:34:38,421 --> 00:34:40,216 - [Brandon] So, you must be looking forward 719 00:34:40,216 --> 00:34:41,803 to getting back to work, huh? 720 00:34:41,803 --> 00:34:45,393 - Yes, I'm so excited to be back in the classroom with kids. 721 00:34:45,393 --> 00:34:47,257 It's gonna be nice to have income coming in, too. 722 00:34:47,257 --> 00:34:49,259 Speaking of which, I was thinking 723 00:34:49,259 --> 00:34:50,812 that we could start planning our honeymoon. 724 00:34:50,812 --> 00:34:53,608 You know, maybe go on my spring break. 725 00:34:53,608 --> 00:34:56,128 What do you think about Aruba? 726 00:34:57,647 --> 00:34:59,545 - Yeah, that's fine. 727 00:34:59,545 --> 00:35:03,308 But what about Catalina Island, huh? 728 00:35:03,308 --> 00:35:07,346 It's 26 miles across the sea, it is beautiful. 729 00:35:07,346 --> 00:35:11,419 It's, uh, I mean, it's where Natalie Wood drowned. 730 00:35:11,419 --> 00:35:13,041 - Sounds romantic. 731 00:35:13,041 --> 00:35:14,595 - Hey, you know what? 732 00:35:14,595 --> 00:35:16,597 I think we have to have a couple drinks tonight. 733 00:35:16,597 --> 00:35:17,494 - Yeah? - To celebrate 734 00:35:17,494 --> 00:35:18,668 your last couple of days of leisure. 735 00:35:18,668 --> 00:35:19,634 What do you say? 736 00:35:19,634 --> 00:35:20,463 - I like that. 737 00:35:20,463 --> 00:35:21,809 Let me do that. 738 00:35:21,809 --> 00:35:24,018 All right, get out there, make me proud, 739 00:35:24,018 --> 00:35:26,469 show me some of those tricks. 740 00:35:36,479 --> 00:35:38,308 - [Schweitzer Polizei Frau] Achtung, ladies and gentlemen, 741 00:35:38,308 --> 00:35:42,795 he's about to shame, bruise and soil himself. 742 00:35:42,795 --> 00:35:45,315 [tense music] 743 00:35:46,765 --> 00:35:47,628 - Fuck! 744 00:35:55,014 --> 00:35:58,777 [Brandon grunting] 745 00:35:58,777 --> 00:36:01,883 - [Charlotte] Oh my god, Barndon, are you okay? 746 00:36:01,883 --> 00:36:04,990 - [Brandon] Yeah, yeah, no, I meant to do that. 747 00:36:04,990 --> 00:36:05,853 Oh god. 748 00:36:16,035 --> 00:36:17,589 - Hey Brandon. 749 00:36:17,589 --> 00:36:19,280 I brought you a little somethin' for the newlyweds. 750 00:36:19,280 --> 00:36:20,937 - Oh Mel, thank you. 751 00:36:20,937 --> 00:36:21,765 - [Mel] Cheers. 752 00:36:21,765 --> 00:36:22,594 - Cheers. 753 00:36:22,594 --> 00:36:23,526 - Shots. 754 00:36:23,526 --> 00:36:25,010 - To all your lucky students. 755 00:36:25,010 --> 00:36:27,668 - To my sweet husband and all my bros and hoes. 756 00:36:27,668 --> 00:36:28,531 - Yeah! 757 00:36:29,601 --> 00:36:31,050 - [DJ] Excuse me ladies and gentlemen, 758 00:36:31,050 --> 00:36:33,467 can I get Charlotte Conroy on the dance floor? 759 00:36:33,467 --> 00:36:34,295 - What? 760 00:36:34,295 --> 00:36:35,158 - Did he say my name? 761 00:36:35,158 --> 00:36:35,986 - I guess. 762 00:36:35,986 --> 00:36:37,505 - What did you tell him? 763 00:36:37,505 --> 00:36:38,748 - Yeah, everyone, put your hands together right here, 764 00:36:38,748 --> 00:36:41,095 Miss Charlotte, the dancing machine, Conroy, 765 00:36:41,095 --> 00:36:44,547 salsa champion, world champion in the house tonight! 766 00:36:44,547 --> 00:36:45,375 - [Brandon] That's you. 767 00:36:45,375 --> 00:36:46,480 - What did you tell him? 768 00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:47,757 - I may have exaggerated a little. 769 00:36:47,757 --> 00:36:49,517 I know you didn't wanna show off at the wedding 770 00:36:49,517 --> 00:36:51,347 but now I get to see your stuff! 771 00:36:51,347 --> 00:36:54,453 [upbeat salsa music] 772 00:36:56,214 --> 00:36:57,076 Yeah! 773 00:37:04,049 --> 00:37:05,499 - [Schweitzer Polizei Frau] And that is all 774 00:37:05,499 --> 00:37:07,915 the salsa Charlotte knows, 775 00:37:07,915 --> 00:37:10,435 but tragically, she dances on. 776 00:37:11,263 --> 00:37:14,404 [upbeat salsa music] 777 00:37:38,842 --> 00:37:40,844 - Well look who's here. 778 00:37:40,844 --> 00:37:43,985 The asshole who almost smothered me to death. 779 00:37:43,985 --> 00:37:45,124 - Ashley? 780 00:37:45,124 --> 00:37:48,093 - You would still hang out here, you cheap bastard. 781 00:37:48,093 --> 00:37:49,267 I'm just kidding. 782 00:37:49,267 --> 00:37:50,544 I come here too. 783 00:37:50,544 --> 00:37:52,062 - Ashley, I am-- 784 00:37:52,062 --> 00:37:55,411 - You, are not still mad at me, are you? 785 00:37:59,242 --> 00:38:03,971 - [DJ] Okay, Charlotte, thank you, thank you very much. 786 00:38:03,971 --> 00:38:05,835 Very interesting dance. 787 00:38:08,527 --> 00:38:09,770 - Hey, honey. 788 00:38:09,770 --> 00:38:11,461 Who's your friend? 789 00:38:11,461 --> 00:38:12,462 - Ashley. 790 00:38:12,462 --> 00:38:15,120 - Charlotte, Charlotte Conroy. 791 00:38:15,120 --> 00:38:16,155 - Who's that, your sister? 792 00:38:16,155 --> 00:38:17,778 - No, his wife. 793 00:38:17,778 --> 00:38:20,884 - I'm sorry, you're married? 794 00:38:20,884 --> 00:38:22,023 Since when? 795 00:38:22,023 --> 00:38:23,370 - Four days ago. 796 00:38:25,164 --> 00:38:28,340 - We used to date until he went all fainting goat on, 797 00:38:28,340 --> 00:38:30,169 what the fuck? 798 00:38:30,169 --> 00:38:31,826 That's my necklace! 799 00:38:31,826 --> 00:38:32,758 - Oh shit. 800 00:38:32,758 --> 00:38:33,794 - What the hell, Brandon? 801 00:38:33,794 --> 00:38:35,071 - Brandon? 802 00:38:35,071 --> 00:38:36,348 - Yeah, I left it at his place. 803 00:38:36,348 --> 00:38:37,694 He never gave it back to me. 804 00:38:37,694 --> 00:38:39,006 - Is that true? 805 00:38:41,042 --> 00:38:42,043 - Told ya. 806 00:38:42,043 --> 00:38:44,045 - This isn't your necklace. 807 00:38:44,045 --> 00:38:44,977 - The hell it isn't. 808 00:38:44,977 --> 00:38:46,254 - Okay. 809 00:38:46,254 --> 00:38:47,532 - [Charlotte] No, I think your necklace 810 00:38:47,532 --> 00:38:48,671 I ground up in the garbage disposal. 811 00:38:48,671 --> 00:38:49,879 - [Ashley] Bullshit! 812 00:38:49,879 --> 00:38:51,294 - [Charlotte] Listen, I was freaked out 813 00:38:51,294 --> 00:38:52,916 because I found out my ex-fiance was getting married. 814 00:38:52,916 --> 00:38:53,917 - Ex-fiance? 815 00:38:53,917 --> 00:38:55,229 - Okay, like you have the right to speak, 816 00:38:55,229 --> 00:38:56,920 you gave this skank's necklace! 817 00:38:56,920 --> 00:38:59,026 - Oh my god, this is hilarious. 818 00:38:59,026 --> 00:39:01,373 You wanna know what I think? 819 00:39:05,032 --> 00:39:07,068 - You're not gonna do anything? 820 00:39:07,068 --> 00:39:07,931 - Stop! 821 00:39:10,865 --> 00:39:12,660 - Look at it this way, most women our age 822 00:39:12,660 --> 00:39:14,490 have a lot of wear and tear on 'em 823 00:39:14,490 --> 00:39:16,112 but you got her from the original owner. 824 00:39:16,112 --> 00:39:18,079 She's in mint condition. 825 00:39:18,079 --> 00:39:20,358 Anyway, you really trumped her on that necklace debacle. 826 00:39:20,358 --> 00:39:21,359 What were you thinking? 827 00:39:21,359 --> 00:39:22,290 - I don't know, man. 828 00:39:22,290 --> 00:39:23,809 Never the twain shall meet? 829 00:39:23,809 --> 00:39:27,019 - Okay, once, when Rita and I were married 830 00:39:27,019 --> 00:39:29,712 for maybe two months, she asked me if this dress 831 00:39:29,712 --> 00:39:31,472 she was wearing made her butt look big. 832 00:39:31,472 --> 00:39:33,888 I told her, yes, but I like big butts. 833 00:39:33,888 --> 00:39:35,027 You know, I'm a black man. 834 00:39:35,027 --> 00:39:36,546 It nearly ruined us. 835 00:39:36,546 --> 00:39:38,237 - But it didn't. 836 00:39:38,237 --> 00:39:41,413 - It took some work and that's what you gotta do, man. 837 00:39:41,413 --> 00:39:43,760 You gotta make some grand gesture, all right? 838 00:39:43,760 --> 00:39:46,004 Something repentant and sweet. 839 00:39:46,004 --> 00:39:47,488 Maybe a little pathetic thrown in there 840 00:39:47,488 --> 00:39:52,113 and with any luck, it will all be forgotten about. 841 00:39:52,113 --> 00:39:53,391 In a few years. 842 00:39:55,841 --> 00:39:56,704 Come on. 843 00:40:00,432 --> 00:40:02,434 [car horn beeping] 844 00:40:02,434 --> 00:40:04,609 - God, it was so humiliating. 845 00:40:04,609 --> 00:40:05,851 - [Carly] So you both screwed up. 846 00:40:05,851 --> 00:40:08,406 You each take a gimme and move on. 847 00:40:09,545 --> 00:40:12,755 - I just got an email from him. 848 00:40:12,755 --> 00:40:15,620 [rocket whirring] 849 00:40:19,969 --> 00:40:22,178 Oh my gosh, it's so sweet! 850 00:40:23,282 --> 00:40:24,870 He just sent me the cutest apology. 851 00:40:24,870 --> 00:40:25,699 - [Carly] See? 852 00:40:25,699 --> 00:40:27,252 He's a peach. 853 00:40:27,252 --> 00:40:29,772 Do something nice for him tonight, like really nice. 854 00:40:29,772 --> 00:40:31,221 Did you get that link I sent you? 855 00:40:31,221 --> 00:40:32,982 - Oh, that site was nasty. 856 00:40:32,982 --> 00:40:34,501 - [Carly] Exactly. 857 00:40:48,549 --> 00:40:51,172 [upbeat music] 858 00:40:57,489 --> 00:40:58,835 - Not in the bedroom. 859 00:40:58,835 --> 00:41:00,630 ♪ Get it on, get it on, get it on ♪ 860 00:41:00,630 --> 00:41:02,701 ♪ Get it on, we have it all now ♪ 861 00:41:02,701 --> 00:41:04,876 ♪ Get it on, get in on, get it on ♪ 862 00:41:04,876 --> 00:41:05,842 - Lower. 863 00:41:05,842 --> 00:41:07,361 ♪ Get it on, we have it all now ♪ 864 00:41:07,361 --> 00:41:09,432 ♪ Get it on, get it on, get it on ♪ 865 00:41:09,432 --> 00:41:13,471 ♪ Get it on, we have it all now ♪ 866 00:41:15,196 --> 00:41:16,819 - [Dan] This is ridiculous. 867 00:41:16,819 --> 00:41:18,406 They've been making this racket for hours. 868 00:41:18,406 --> 00:41:20,512 What the hell are they trying to prove? 869 00:41:20,512 --> 00:41:21,686 [Brandon and Charlotte moaning] 870 00:41:21,686 --> 00:41:23,515 - Dan, maybe you should come to bed. 871 00:41:23,515 --> 00:41:25,897 - Yeah, yeah, in a minute. 872 00:41:25,897 --> 00:41:28,037 ♪ Mama say, mama say 873 00:41:28,037 --> 00:41:30,660 ♪ It's the ride in this world 874 00:41:30,660 --> 00:41:32,938 ♪ Oh, when it's one of these days ♪ 875 00:41:32,938 --> 00:41:35,009 ♪ And no, don't let it miss it though ♪ 876 00:41:35,009 --> 00:41:37,322 ♪ Like the love 877 00:41:37,322 --> 00:41:39,980 ♪ Like the love, oh 878 00:41:39,980 --> 00:41:42,189 ♪ Beneficial ride 879 00:41:42,189 --> 00:41:45,537 ♪ On top of the world 880 00:41:45,537 --> 00:41:46,504 - Oh my god. 881 00:41:48,506 --> 00:41:50,508 Oh, that was incredible. 882 00:41:51,888 --> 00:41:53,407 Okay, I gotta pee. 883 00:42:02,796 --> 00:42:05,039 [shrieking] 884 00:42:10,251 --> 00:42:12,909 - I'm sure it's nothing serious. 885 00:42:12,909 --> 00:42:15,360 You haven't had problems down their before, have you? 886 00:42:15,360 --> 00:42:16,223 - Never. 887 00:42:18,708 --> 00:42:20,814 - [Nurse] Brandon Conroy. 888 00:42:27,337 --> 00:42:28,546 - Hello Mr. Conroy. 889 00:42:28,546 --> 00:42:29,374 - [Brandon] Hi. 890 00:42:29,374 --> 00:42:30,824 - I'm Dr. Sahni. 891 00:42:30,824 --> 00:42:33,412 - Oh, yeah, I normally see Dr. Kurtzman? 892 00:42:33,412 --> 00:42:36,692 - Oh, he retired five or six months ago. 893 00:42:36,692 --> 00:42:38,866 This is my first week. 894 00:42:38,866 --> 00:42:39,729 - Welcome. 895 00:42:40,592 --> 00:42:42,732 - So, what's the problem? 896 00:42:42,732 --> 00:42:46,287 - It's like someone took a sand blaster to my boom stick. 897 00:42:46,287 --> 00:42:48,048 - Let's have a look. 898 00:42:51,361 --> 00:42:52,397 - Oh my god. 899 00:42:53,398 --> 00:42:54,537 This looks like something I saw 900 00:42:54,537 --> 00:42:56,539 in my tropical disease seminar. 901 00:42:56,539 --> 00:42:58,058 How long's it been like this? 902 00:42:58,058 --> 00:42:59,300 - Just since this morning. 903 00:42:59,300 --> 00:43:01,820 - And before that, was your penis normal 904 00:43:01,820 --> 00:43:04,582 or has it always been disfigured? 905 00:43:05,479 --> 00:43:07,585 - Normal, it's normal. 906 00:43:07,585 --> 00:43:09,069 - Do you work with toxic chemicals? 907 00:43:09,069 --> 00:43:10,242 - No. 908 00:43:10,242 --> 00:43:11,312 - Have you recently spent time in the African bush? 909 00:43:11,312 --> 00:43:12,797 - No. 910 00:43:12,797 --> 00:43:14,350 - Have you had sex with any prostitutes from that region? 911 00:43:14,350 --> 00:43:15,316 - No! 912 00:43:15,316 --> 00:43:17,180 - Any exposure to monkey feces? 913 00:43:17,180 --> 00:43:18,492 - Monkey feces? 914 00:43:18,492 --> 00:43:20,563 - So, no interspecies intercourse? 915 00:43:20,563 --> 00:43:21,875 - Oh, for fuck, no! 916 00:43:21,875 --> 00:43:23,704 - Mr. Conroy, I'm going to need the names 917 00:43:23,704 --> 00:43:25,741 of your sexual partners. 918 00:43:28,157 --> 00:43:30,849 Get Dr. Palmer down here right away to look at Mr. Conroy. 919 00:43:30,849 --> 00:43:33,990 We have a possible miasmic STD of unknown origin. 920 00:43:33,990 --> 00:43:35,474 - Is it that serious? 921 00:43:35,474 --> 00:43:38,236 - He's had sex with 21 women in the last four years. 922 00:43:38,236 --> 00:43:39,168 Go, go, go. 923 00:43:41,895 --> 00:43:44,035 - I've never seen anything like this before. 924 00:43:44,035 --> 00:43:45,692 It looks like a mix of genital herpes, 925 00:43:45,692 --> 00:43:47,797 syphilis and a gun shot wound. 926 00:43:47,797 --> 00:43:50,282 - Maybe it's a mutant hybrid? 927 00:43:51,456 --> 00:43:52,906 - You ask him about money feces? 928 00:43:52,906 --> 00:43:54,873 - I did, and negative. 929 00:43:56,323 --> 00:43:57,945 Sterile swab. 930 00:43:57,945 --> 00:43:59,222 - Whoa. 931 00:43:59,222 --> 00:44:00,948 What's up with the swab? 932 00:44:00,948 --> 00:44:03,848 - I'm gonna insert this into your urethra, get a culture, 933 00:44:03,848 --> 00:44:05,228 run a test and see if we can figure out 934 00:44:05,228 --> 00:44:07,679 what's goin' on with you, okay? 935 00:44:07,679 --> 00:44:08,576 - 'Kay. 936 00:44:11,821 --> 00:44:12,684 Hmm. 937 00:44:14,168 --> 00:44:16,274 [Brandon groaning] 938 00:44:16,274 --> 00:44:18,207 [squeaking] 939 00:44:18,207 --> 00:44:20,485 [groaning] 940 00:44:25,076 --> 00:44:26,456 Oh god. 941 00:44:26,456 --> 00:44:27,388 - There we go. 942 00:44:27,388 --> 00:44:29,597 That wasn't so bad, was it? 943 00:44:33,256 --> 00:44:35,120 - I'm so sorry. 944 00:44:35,120 --> 00:44:36,328 - It's okay, we got another one. 945 00:44:36,328 --> 00:44:37,571 - No that's good. 946 00:44:37,571 --> 00:44:39,124 I'm sure that's fine. 947 00:44:39,124 --> 00:44:42,058 Come on, the three second rule, right? 948 00:44:42,058 --> 00:44:45,061 - It's okay, let's try this again, shall we? 949 00:44:45,061 --> 00:44:46,097 - Please no. 950 00:45:00,490 --> 00:45:01,699 - [Charlotte] Hey. 951 00:45:01,699 --> 00:45:04,218 - Oh sweetie, thank god you're here. 952 00:45:04,218 --> 00:45:05,910 - How you doing, honey? 953 00:45:05,910 --> 00:45:07,670 - They don't know what I have. 954 00:45:07,670 --> 00:45:10,431 - Oh, I'm sure everything will be okay 955 00:45:10,431 --> 00:45:12,502 once they figure out which one of your 21 sluts 956 00:45:12,502 --> 00:45:14,228 gave you the disease! 957 00:45:14,228 --> 00:45:16,748 Whatever happened to quality over quantity? 958 00:45:16,748 --> 00:45:20,890 - The numbers don't matter, I always wore condoms. 959 00:45:20,890 --> 00:45:22,029 Except with you. 960 00:45:22,029 --> 00:45:23,237 - Oh please! 961 00:45:23,237 --> 00:45:25,412 I only slept with one man for 14 years. 962 00:45:25,412 --> 00:45:26,827 - But who did he sleep with, huh? 963 00:45:26,827 --> 00:45:28,967 - You're so full of shit! 964 00:45:30,175 --> 00:45:31,452 I'm his wife! 965 00:45:31,452 --> 00:45:33,144 - Oh yes, I imagined so. 966 00:45:33,144 --> 00:45:34,801 I'm Dr. Dietz, now let's see 967 00:45:34,801 --> 00:45:37,596 what all this excitement's about. 968 00:45:39,253 --> 00:45:41,186 You already checked for monkey feces, right? 969 00:45:41,186 --> 00:45:42,049 - I did. 970 00:45:49,470 --> 00:45:52,611 - Mr. Conroy, you have cystitis. 971 00:45:52,611 --> 00:45:53,578 - Oh god. 972 00:45:53,578 --> 00:45:54,786 - Shit. 973 00:45:54,786 --> 00:45:57,858 - Commonly known as honeymoon disease 974 00:45:57,858 --> 00:46:01,448 from too much intense sexual activity. 975 00:46:01,448 --> 00:46:03,968 You just need to give the little fellow a rest. 976 00:46:03,968 --> 00:46:06,487 Avoid sex for four or five days. 977 00:46:06,487 --> 00:46:09,180 Only touch it when absolutely necessary 978 00:46:09,180 --> 00:46:11,838 and you'll be right as rain in no time. 979 00:46:11,838 --> 00:46:13,218 - Oh, thank god. 980 00:46:14,530 --> 00:46:16,221 - Oh, thank you. 981 00:46:16,221 --> 00:46:17,775 - You can put that down. 982 00:46:17,775 --> 00:46:20,363 - [Brandon] I'm sorry. 983 00:46:20,363 --> 00:46:21,813 - So, let me get this straight, 984 00:46:21,813 --> 00:46:25,644 they swabbed your schlong twice, yet they didn't have to? 985 00:46:25,644 --> 00:46:27,129 - Yeah. 986 00:46:27,129 --> 00:46:29,441 [laughing] 987 00:46:30,822 --> 00:46:35,068 - Oh boy, that is marriage in a nutshell, ain't it? 988 00:46:42,385 --> 00:46:45,181 - Mrs. Halvorsen, I was just getting ready for tomorrow. 989 00:46:45,181 --> 00:46:47,149 - I'm afraid there's a problem. 990 00:46:47,149 --> 00:46:49,910 We just received your background check. 991 00:46:49,910 --> 00:46:52,326 You were arrested for a felony. 992 00:46:52,326 --> 00:46:54,673 - But I received a deferred adjudication. 993 00:46:54,673 --> 00:46:56,123 I wasn't convicted. 994 00:46:56,123 --> 00:46:58,539 I was still able to teach in West Virginia. 995 00:46:58,539 --> 00:47:01,094 - Obviously we hold a higher standard here 996 00:47:01,094 --> 00:47:02,923 at Van Nuys Christian. 997 00:47:02,923 --> 00:47:04,269 - I'm an excellent teacher, I've been teaching for-- 998 00:47:04,269 --> 00:47:05,477 - I'm sorry. 999 00:47:05,477 --> 00:47:07,548 Maybe if you hadn't been dishonest, 1000 00:47:07,548 --> 00:47:10,655 but we're going to have to terminate your contract. 1001 00:47:10,655 --> 00:47:13,071 - I'm sorry, I didn't mean to lie, 1002 00:47:13,071 --> 00:47:15,142 I was just trying to make a good impression. 1003 00:47:15,142 --> 00:47:17,075 [hushing] 1004 00:47:17,075 --> 00:47:18,628 - Don't apologize to me. 1005 00:47:18,628 --> 00:47:20,216 Apologize to Jesus. 1006 00:47:24,876 --> 00:47:28,052 [steady guitar music] 1007 00:47:53,974 --> 00:47:55,769 - You're still upset about what happened yesterday, 1008 00:47:55,769 --> 00:47:56,597 aren't you? 1009 00:47:56,597 --> 00:47:58,116 - Yeah, I mean no. 1010 00:48:01,637 --> 00:48:04,985 Look, we've both make mistakes and, 1011 00:48:04,985 --> 00:48:06,159 I don't think we should judge each other 1012 00:48:06,159 --> 00:48:08,540 for things that happened before we met. 1013 00:48:08,540 --> 00:48:11,026 - Yeah, no, I completely agree. 1014 00:48:11,026 --> 00:48:15,306 The past is the past and we should just be looking forward 1015 00:48:15,306 --> 00:48:17,618 to the road ahead together. 1016 00:48:28,629 --> 00:48:31,839 At least it's all out in the open now. 1017 00:48:33,703 --> 00:48:35,533 - Look, I wanna tell you, 1018 00:48:35,533 --> 00:48:37,052 I need to tell you 1019 00:48:38,950 --> 00:48:40,883 that I agree 100%. 1020 00:48:42,022 --> 00:48:42,920 - Good. 1021 00:48:45,715 --> 00:48:47,062 Oh, this is one of my favorite episodes. 1022 00:48:47,062 --> 00:48:48,339 Have you seen this one? 1023 00:48:48,339 --> 00:48:49,616 - No. 1024 00:48:49,616 --> 00:48:51,480 - Oh, this is classic. 1025 00:48:57,417 --> 00:49:01,352 [speaking in foreign language] 1026 00:49:07,082 --> 00:49:09,394 - [Schweitzer Polizei Frau] Ah, I won a Golden Heidi 1027 00:49:09,394 --> 00:49:10,844 for that episode. 1028 00:49:11,845 --> 00:49:14,192 [chuckling] 1029 00:49:16,608 --> 00:49:18,369 - I'll be right back. 1030 00:49:35,351 --> 00:49:37,491 - Hey, packed your lunch for you. 1031 00:49:37,491 --> 00:49:40,839 - Oh my god, where did you find this? 1032 00:49:40,839 --> 00:49:41,875 - I made it. 1033 00:49:44,878 --> 00:49:46,742 Knock 'em dead, honey. 1034 00:50:02,896 --> 00:50:05,174 - I feel like such a scam artist. 1035 00:50:05,174 --> 00:50:07,763 I'm not built for this kind of deception. 1036 00:50:07,763 --> 00:50:10,007 - Okay well, why don't you just find another job real quick 1037 00:50:10,007 --> 00:50:12,906 and then tell Brandon you got a better offer? 1038 00:50:12,906 --> 00:50:14,597 - Finding one's not the problem. 1039 00:50:14,597 --> 00:50:17,635 I got an interview at 12, I just, I mean what's the point? 1040 00:50:17,635 --> 00:50:19,395 They'll just vet me too. 1041 00:50:19,395 --> 00:50:22,847 No one's gonna let a low down ex-con near their children. 1042 00:50:22,847 --> 00:50:24,090 - Hmm. 1043 00:50:24,090 --> 00:50:25,332 Oh, I got it! 1044 00:50:25,332 --> 00:50:27,852 Okay, your middle name is Lauren, right? 1045 00:50:27,852 --> 00:50:31,545 So why don't you spell it L-A-U-R-A-N instead of E-N 1046 00:50:31,545 --> 00:50:33,547 and then your record won't come up. 1047 00:50:33,547 --> 00:50:35,066 - Would that really work? 1048 00:50:35,066 --> 00:50:35,998 - I don't know. 1049 00:50:35,998 --> 00:50:38,000 What have you got to lose? 1050 00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:39,036 - You know what? 1051 00:50:39,036 --> 00:50:40,244 Nothing, you're right. 1052 00:50:40,244 --> 00:50:41,521 You're absolutely right. 1053 00:50:41,521 --> 00:50:44,972 Thank you so much, you're a total genius. 1054 00:50:47,665 --> 00:50:49,322 My car won't start. 1055 00:50:49,322 --> 00:50:50,944 - Okay, why don't you just call Brandon real quick 1056 00:50:50,944 --> 00:50:51,565 and then ask him-- 1057 00:50:51,565 --> 00:50:52,566 - I can't call Brandon 1058 00:50:52,566 --> 00:50:53,740 and ask him to take me to a job interview 1059 00:50:53,740 --> 00:50:55,362 when I'm supposed to be in a job that I already have! 1060 00:50:55,362 --> 00:50:56,191 Goodbye! 1061 00:50:56,191 --> 00:50:57,054 - Shit. 1062 00:50:59,021 --> 00:51:00,609 Shit. 1063 00:51:00,609 --> 00:51:02,956 ♪ Take the best of me 1064 00:51:02,956 --> 00:51:04,578 ♪ If it sets you free 1065 00:51:04,578 --> 00:51:05,407 - Hey, Charlotte. 1066 00:51:05,407 --> 00:51:06,304 - Hey, Dan. 1067 00:51:07,167 --> 00:51:10,205 ♪ If we'll ever be again 1068 00:51:10,205 --> 00:51:11,068 - Bye, Dan. 1069 00:51:11,068 --> 00:51:11,930 - Bye. 1070 00:51:13,484 --> 00:51:15,693 ♪ Glad to have you 1071 00:51:15,693 --> 00:51:17,695 ♪ My love 1072 00:51:17,695 --> 00:51:20,905 ♪ You can have it all 1073 00:51:25,427 --> 00:51:29,189 - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! 1074 00:51:31,157 --> 00:51:32,054 Goddammit! 1075 00:51:35,644 --> 00:51:37,853 [sobbing] 1076 00:51:44,549 --> 00:51:46,137 ♪ You can have it all 1077 00:51:46,137 --> 00:51:49,209 - Eight years teaching first grade. 1078 00:51:49,209 --> 00:51:52,143 Volunteer for the Red Cross. 1079 00:51:52,143 --> 00:51:54,663 Girl Scout camp summer leader. 1080 00:51:56,078 --> 00:51:58,149 Oh, you went to UWV! 1081 00:51:58,149 --> 00:51:59,495 - Yeah. 1082 00:51:59,495 --> 00:52:00,565 - Proud Mountaineer here! 1083 00:52:00,565 --> 00:52:01,497 - You too? 1084 00:52:01,497 --> 00:52:02,326 - Teal pride. 1085 00:52:02,326 --> 00:52:04,604 [laughing] 1086 00:52:07,572 --> 00:52:09,264 [laughing] 1087 00:52:09,264 --> 00:52:11,335 Oh, is Professor Vassic still there? 1088 00:52:11,335 --> 00:52:14,476 - Oh yes, I loved him, he was amazing. 1089 00:52:14,476 --> 00:52:18,100 - Well, then I know you have an excellent education. 1090 00:52:18,100 --> 00:52:19,343 - Actually Mrs. Newton, 1091 00:52:19,343 --> 00:52:22,208 there's something I need to tell you. 1092 00:52:23,830 --> 00:52:25,452 - [Al] Hey, Brandon. 1093 00:52:25,452 --> 00:52:26,419 - Hey, bro. 1094 00:52:29,146 --> 00:52:32,010 - Look, there's no easy way to say this, man. 1095 00:52:32,010 --> 00:52:34,220 A senior project manager over at Plan C 1096 00:52:34,220 --> 00:52:35,462 is moving to London, 1097 00:52:35,462 --> 00:52:38,741 so Matthew called and offered me the job. 1098 00:52:41,537 --> 00:52:42,573 What can I say, man? 1099 00:52:42,573 --> 00:52:44,368 I'm a weasel. 1100 00:52:44,368 --> 00:52:47,025 I'm a weasel and I'm a sellout. 1101 00:52:48,372 --> 00:52:49,683 - Well, thanks. 1102 00:52:50,891 --> 00:52:52,445 - No bullshit, I fought for you. 1103 00:52:52,445 --> 00:52:53,791 I swear, man. 1104 00:52:53,791 --> 00:52:54,964 Look, I'm old. 1105 00:52:56,034 --> 00:52:58,175 I got alimony payments up the wang. 1106 00:52:58,175 --> 00:53:00,142 You can still use the office, if you want. 1107 00:53:00,142 --> 00:53:02,800 - Nah, it's your garage and all. 1108 00:53:07,218 --> 00:53:12,223 - Yeah, and so, I just wanted to be completely up front. 1109 00:53:13,362 --> 00:53:14,984 - I appreciate your candor, Charlotte. 1110 00:53:14,984 --> 00:53:17,642 And I'd like to think we're a little more forgiving 1111 00:53:17,642 --> 00:53:22,337 than the Christians over at Van Nuys Christian School. 1112 00:53:22,337 --> 00:53:24,442 So, I'll get back to you. 1113 00:53:41,942 --> 00:53:45,083 - Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! 1114 00:53:47,672 --> 00:53:51,711 Hi, I need to report a stolen, or a missing car. 1115 00:53:52,781 --> 00:53:54,645 I don't know where is, 1116 00:53:56,681 --> 00:53:58,683 I don't know the license plate number. 1117 00:53:58,683 --> 00:54:02,031 Look, it's a Mustang, it's really old. 1118 00:54:02,031 --> 00:54:04,068 There can't be that many of them. 1119 00:54:04,068 --> 00:54:06,346 Look, I was really hoping you can help me find this car 1120 00:54:06,346 --> 00:54:09,625 before my husband finds out that it's missing. 1121 00:54:09,625 --> 00:54:12,145 [grunts] 1122 00:54:12,145 --> 00:54:15,321 Oh, my god. [sobbing] 1123 00:54:17,530 --> 00:54:19,256 Call Brandon Conroy. 1124 00:54:21,534 --> 00:54:24,261 [phone ringing] 1125 00:54:26,366 --> 00:54:27,919 - Yeah. 1126 00:54:27,919 --> 00:54:29,438 - No, stop, stop! 1127 00:54:29,438 --> 00:54:30,301 No, please stop, stop! 1128 00:54:30,301 --> 00:54:31,233 Hey! 1129 00:54:31,233 --> 00:54:33,304 - Charlotte, are you okay? 1130 00:54:34,650 --> 00:54:35,513 Charlotte! 1131 00:54:36,342 --> 00:54:38,171 Charlotte, Charlotte! 1132 00:54:39,310 --> 00:54:40,207 - Dan. 1133 00:54:42,175 --> 00:54:43,625 Dan, something horrible has happened. 1134 00:54:43,625 --> 00:54:44,557 - What? 1135 00:54:44,557 --> 00:54:46,006 - Brandon's Mustang was stolen! 1136 00:54:46,006 --> 00:54:47,042 - No, not the Mustang! 1137 00:54:47,042 --> 00:54:49,907 - Yeah, he is gonna be furious. 1138 00:54:49,907 --> 00:54:51,391 - Did you call the police? 1139 00:54:51,391 --> 00:54:53,324 - Yes and when I didn't know the license plate number, 1140 00:54:53,324 --> 00:54:54,877 they just laughed at me. 1141 00:54:54,877 --> 00:54:56,741 Do you happen to know the number? 1142 00:54:56,741 --> 00:54:57,984 - Yes, I do. 1143 00:54:57,984 --> 00:54:59,192 [yells] 1144 00:54:59,192 --> 00:55:01,332 - Why does he have that stupid car anyways? 1145 00:55:01,332 --> 00:55:02,851 - But I thought you loved it. 1146 00:55:02,851 --> 00:55:05,405 - Yeah, I mean it's fun to cruise around in sometimes 1147 00:55:05,405 --> 00:55:07,476 but I mean come on, it's ridiculous. 1148 00:55:07,476 --> 00:55:09,167 It's just some loud, gas guzzling, 1149 00:55:09,167 --> 00:55:12,861 middle-aged- mobile for men with tiny dicks. 1150 00:55:14,449 --> 00:55:15,760 - Come with me. 1151 00:55:21,697 --> 00:55:24,907 - Charlotte Conroy, I need to see her! 1152 00:55:27,151 --> 00:55:29,395 - Oh my god, they brought it back. 1153 00:55:29,395 --> 00:55:31,707 - No, I had a GPS tracker on it. 1154 00:55:31,707 --> 00:55:35,262 - Oh my god, oh my god, Dan, thank you, thank you so much. 1155 00:55:35,262 --> 00:55:37,437 You totally saved my life! 1156 00:55:38,473 --> 00:55:39,784 Wait, why do you have a-- 1157 00:55:39,784 --> 00:55:41,338 - It's mine, it's mine, Charlotte. 1158 00:55:41,338 --> 00:55:42,580 It's always been mine. 1159 00:55:42,580 --> 00:55:44,513 It wasn't stolen, I just took it back. 1160 00:55:44,513 --> 00:55:45,928 - But the car belongs to Brandon. 1161 00:55:45,928 --> 00:55:47,378 - No, it doesn't. 1162 00:55:47,378 --> 00:55:49,104 He borrowed it from me. 1163 00:55:49,104 --> 00:55:51,934 I guess he was trying to impress you. 1164 00:55:51,934 --> 00:55:53,591 - Why would that impress me? 1165 00:55:53,591 --> 00:55:57,008 - I don't know, maybe because it makes him look cool 1166 00:55:57,008 --> 00:55:59,632 and a little less broke. 1167 00:55:59,632 --> 00:56:00,805 - Brandon is broke? 1168 00:56:00,805 --> 00:56:04,361 - I shouldn't say anything, I'm so sorry. 1169 00:56:04,361 --> 00:56:05,672 He's worse than broke. 1170 00:56:05,672 --> 00:56:07,916 He's in debt, calamitous, crushing debt! 1171 00:56:07,916 --> 00:56:10,125 You know what, you know, I'm glad I'm saying something, 1172 00:56:10,125 --> 00:56:12,714 this is for his own good. 1173 00:56:12,714 --> 00:56:13,922 I feel better. 1174 00:56:16,303 --> 00:56:18,858 - Charlotte no longer works here. 1175 00:56:18,858 --> 00:56:19,686 - What? 1176 00:56:19,686 --> 00:56:20,963 - We had to let her go. 1177 00:56:20,963 --> 00:56:23,138 She has a felony for assault and battery. 1178 00:56:23,138 --> 00:56:24,657 It's shocking that someone so well-mannered 1179 00:56:24,657 --> 00:56:26,383 could be so vicious. 1180 00:56:33,424 --> 00:56:35,944 [tense music] 1181 00:56:55,860 --> 00:56:56,723 - Hey. 1182 00:56:57,724 --> 00:56:58,587 - Hey. 1183 00:57:03,420 --> 00:57:07,769 Hey, what was up with that phone call today? 1184 00:57:07,769 --> 00:57:11,704 - Oh, sorry, someone almost backed into my car. 1185 00:57:13,291 --> 00:57:14,154 - Oh. 1186 00:57:15,121 --> 00:57:16,087 But you're okay now? 1187 00:57:16,087 --> 00:57:16,950 - Oh yeah. 1188 00:57:16,950 --> 00:57:18,469 - Oh. 1189 00:57:18,469 --> 00:57:19,815 - Yeah. 1190 00:57:19,815 --> 00:57:21,023 - That's good. 1191 00:57:22,266 --> 00:57:23,612 So how was work? 1192 00:57:24,510 --> 00:57:26,891 Good day with all the kids? 1193 00:57:26,891 --> 00:57:28,099 - Yeah, great. 1194 00:57:29,031 --> 00:57:30,447 How about you? 1195 00:57:30,447 --> 00:57:32,069 Make lots of money? 1196 00:57:33,519 --> 00:57:34,416 - Yeah. 1197 00:57:36,073 --> 00:57:37,281 - That's good. 1198 00:57:43,321 --> 00:57:45,185 By the way, your Aunt Sallie Mae wrote. 1199 00:57:45,185 --> 00:57:47,498 She'd like her $56,000 back. 1200 00:57:52,779 --> 00:57:55,023 - Why are you going through my mail? 1201 00:57:55,023 --> 00:57:57,508 - Well, don't you mean our mail, dear? 1202 00:57:57,508 --> 00:57:59,337 We're married and we share everything. 1203 00:57:59,337 --> 00:58:01,512 Including a butt-load of debt. 1204 00:58:01,512 --> 00:58:03,100 - Huh, you wanna share? 1205 00:58:03,100 --> 00:58:05,240 Okay, let's share. 1206 00:58:05,240 --> 00:58:08,657 Tell me all about the felony you committed, darling. 1207 00:58:08,657 --> 00:58:09,900 - What? 1208 00:58:09,900 --> 00:58:13,524 - You know, the thing you lost your job over. 1209 00:58:13,524 --> 00:58:14,698 - You don't understand. 1210 00:58:14,698 --> 00:58:15,699 - No, I think I do. 1211 00:58:15,699 --> 00:58:16,665 Assault and battery. 1212 00:58:16,665 --> 00:58:17,770 It's right there in the title. 1213 00:58:17,770 --> 00:58:18,840 Pretty self-explanatory. 1214 00:58:18,840 --> 00:58:20,082 - It was my ex-fiance. 1215 00:58:20,082 --> 00:58:21,877 - Oh, well that should help me sleep at night. 1216 00:58:21,877 --> 00:58:23,672 - It was an accident! 1217 00:58:24,811 --> 00:58:27,676 And you know what, I wasn't convicted. 1218 00:58:27,676 --> 00:58:31,059 And at least I paid my debt to society, unlike you. 1219 00:58:31,059 --> 00:58:33,406 - Student loans aren't a crime. 1220 00:58:33,406 --> 00:58:35,304 - They are if you don't pay them! 1221 00:58:35,304 --> 00:58:37,065 - Whoa, please don't stab me with your shiv. 1222 00:58:37,065 --> 00:58:39,550 They'll send you back to the joint, sweetheart. 1223 00:58:39,550 --> 00:58:43,589 - At least there, you know who people are. 1224 00:58:43,589 --> 00:58:45,522 - Then why don't you call the warden 1225 00:58:45,522 --> 00:58:47,489 and get your old bunk back. 1226 00:58:47,489 --> 00:58:50,388 - I have let a lot of shit slide. 1227 00:58:50,388 --> 00:58:51,838 - Like what? 1228 00:58:51,838 --> 00:58:54,461 - You don't know the first thing about cooking. 1229 00:58:54,461 --> 00:58:55,911 Philip Seymour Hoffman 1230 00:58:55,911 --> 00:58:58,258 is not the quarterback of the San Diego Chargers 1231 00:58:58,258 --> 00:59:00,813 and you, sir, are no Lance Armstrong. 1232 00:59:00,813 --> 00:59:01,745 - Three words. 1233 00:59:01,745 --> 00:59:04,126 Salsa, dancing, champion. 1234 00:59:04,126 --> 00:59:06,301 - Oh, and how long did you think 1235 00:59:06,301 --> 00:59:09,891 that you could pretend that stupid car was yours? 1236 00:59:09,891 --> 00:59:11,444 - Goddamn, Dan! 1237 00:59:11,444 --> 00:59:12,894 - And the worst part, 1238 00:59:12,894 --> 00:59:15,448 the worst part is that you make made me look like a idiot 1239 00:59:15,448 --> 00:59:16,932 in front of Dan and Rita. 1240 00:59:16,932 --> 00:59:19,797 Like the only friends that I have in this miserable place. 1241 00:59:19,797 --> 00:59:21,799 - Hey, you make me look like an idiot too. 1242 00:59:21,799 --> 00:59:22,973 I didn't know who I married. 1243 00:59:22,973 --> 00:59:25,423 Are you this sweet adorable school teacher 1244 00:59:25,423 --> 00:59:28,668 or a deranged grifter come to ruin my life? 1245 00:59:28,668 --> 00:59:30,152 - Well, if you really feel that way, 1246 00:59:30,152 --> 00:59:33,017 then maybe, maybe, maybe we should both admit 1247 00:59:33,017 --> 00:59:35,226 that we made a mistake and then just split ways! 1248 00:59:35,226 --> 00:59:36,262 - You know what, maybe we should! 1249 00:59:36,262 --> 00:59:37,090 - Yeah? 1250 00:59:37,090 --> 00:59:37,919 - Yeah! 1251 00:59:37,919 --> 00:59:38,747 - Yeah! 1252 00:59:38,747 --> 00:59:39,610 Fine! 1253 00:59:39,610 --> 00:59:40,473 - Fine! 1254 00:59:40,473 --> 00:59:41,336 - Fine! 1255 00:59:43,959 --> 00:59:46,617 - [Lawyer] How long you two been hitched? 1256 00:59:46,617 --> 00:59:48,239 - [Brandon And Charlotte] 10 days. 1257 00:59:48,239 --> 00:59:49,102 - 10 days? 1258 00:59:50,621 --> 00:59:53,106 Are you celebrities of some sort? 1259 00:59:53,106 --> 00:59:54,107 - No. 1260 00:59:54,107 --> 00:59:55,384 - Peculiar. 1261 00:59:55,384 --> 00:59:57,076 - So, how do we get this thing started? 1262 00:59:57,076 --> 00:59:58,525 - First of all, let me be clear, 1263 00:59:58,525 --> 01:00:00,562 I'm actin' as a neutral third party 1264 01:00:00,562 --> 01:00:03,876 helpin' to negotiate a fair settlement. 1265 01:00:03,876 --> 01:00:05,602 - There's nothing to negotiate. 1266 01:00:05,602 --> 01:00:07,396 We're in complete divorce agreement. 1267 01:00:07,396 --> 01:00:09,882 - That's the only thing we're in agreement on. 1268 01:00:09,882 --> 01:00:11,953 - Fair enough, I'll draw up the contract 1269 01:00:11,953 --> 01:00:14,852 and y'all can come back next Thursday and sign it. 1270 01:00:14,852 --> 01:00:15,853 - Thursday? 1271 01:00:15,853 --> 01:00:17,303 Why not today? 1272 01:00:17,303 --> 01:00:19,512 - Don't you have some generic forms lyin' around, 1273 01:00:19,512 --> 01:00:21,272 like divorcezoom.com? 1274 01:00:21,272 --> 01:00:22,619 - Generic forms? 1275 01:00:23,930 --> 01:00:26,553 Every divorce is unique. 1276 01:00:26,553 --> 01:00:30,730 Regardless of race, religion or sexual preference. 1277 01:00:31,835 --> 01:00:33,664 Now how would you like to handle my fee? 1278 01:00:33,664 --> 01:00:35,114 - We'll split it. 1279 01:00:35,114 --> 01:00:38,669 - You got that much or do you need to get another loan? 1280 01:00:38,669 --> 01:00:42,466 - You're sure Thursday's the best you can do? 1281 01:00:46,194 --> 01:00:48,023 So, where you staying? 1282 01:00:50,370 --> 01:00:51,578 What? 1283 01:00:51,578 --> 01:00:53,063 It's my apartment. 1284 01:00:53,063 --> 01:00:56,273 - I gave up my job, my home and best friend for you. 1285 01:00:56,273 --> 01:00:59,241 I'm not leaving the apartment and I'm not paying you rent. 1286 01:00:59,241 --> 01:01:03,245 - Well, you'd better start cooking or cleaning or, 1287 01:01:03,245 --> 01:01:04,143 doing something. 1288 01:01:04,143 --> 01:01:05,592 - [Charlotte] Asshole! 1289 01:01:05,592 --> 01:01:07,215 And your car sucks! 1290 01:01:13,221 --> 01:01:16,500 ♪ When I watch I wake up in the morning ♪ 1291 01:01:16,500 --> 01:01:21,056 ♪ Forgetting the love from the night before ♪ 1292 01:01:21,056 --> 01:01:23,231 ♪ Was it whiskey who kissed me 1293 01:01:23,231 --> 01:01:28,270 ♪ And promised to be my lover forevermore ♪ 1294 01:01:29,409 --> 01:01:31,308 ♪ If I could live in this dream ♪ 1295 01:01:31,308 --> 01:01:33,241 ♪ 'Cause I've long 1296 01:01:33,241 --> 01:01:37,901 ♪ Have I long for you too long 1297 01:01:37,901 --> 01:01:40,489 ♪ Sorry for loving you, darling ♪ 1298 01:01:40,489 --> 01:01:42,353 ♪ I'm moving along 1299 01:01:42,353 --> 01:01:43,734 - [Carly] I'm so sorry Char. 1300 01:01:43,734 --> 01:01:45,356 Men are such turds. 1301 01:01:45,356 --> 01:01:48,705 ♪ Said I'm sorry for loving you darling ♪ 1302 01:01:48,705 --> 01:01:51,604 ♪ I'm moving along 1303 01:01:52,501 --> 01:01:54,952 [gunshot bangs] 1304 01:01:54,952 --> 01:01:58,853 [speaking in foreign language] 1305 01:02:04,997 --> 01:02:08,069 [gunshots bang] 1306 01:02:08,069 --> 01:02:10,036 - So, then you wanna subtract the top number 1307 01:02:10,036 --> 01:02:12,556 from the other one you got right there. 1308 01:02:12,556 --> 01:02:13,419 - Okay. 1309 01:02:13,419 --> 01:02:14,972 - You go it! 1310 01:02:14,972 --> 01:02:16,525 Awesome, good job! 1311 01:02:18,700 --> 01:02:21,565 ♪ Sue me for loving you darling ♪ 1312 01:02:21,565 --> 01:02:26,121 ♪ I'm moving along 1313 01:02:26,121 --> 01:02:28,917 ♪ I said sue me for loving you 1314 01:02:28,917 --> 01:02:32,645 ♪ I'll just be moving along 1315 01:02:37,339 --> 01:02:39,652 [yodeling] 1316 01:02:50,249 --> 01:02:53,597 - [Dan] Have a great day in your work. 1317 01:02:53,597 --> 01:02:54,460 Love you. 1318 01:02:55,633 --> 01:02:59,085 ♪ All I wanna do is be good to you ♪ 1319 01:02:59,085 --> 01:03:03,676 ♪ And you say you don't know if you want it ♪ 1320 01:03:03,676 --> 01:03:05,920 ♪ If want me to be back 1321 01:03:05,920 --> 01:03:07,956 - No, I haven't done much 1322 01:03:09,095 --> 01:03:12,271 any animated porn but I am a fast learner 1323 01:03:12,271 --> 01:03:14,549 and I love animation, 1324 01:03:14,549 --> 01:03:16,309 and porn, so win-win. 1325 01:03:17,655 --> 01:03:19,485 Okay, well please keep me in mind. 1326 01:03:19,485 --> 01:03:20,624 Thank you. 1327 01:03:20,624 --> 01:03:21,590 ♪ For loving you 1328 01:03:21,590 --> 01:03:25,146 ♪ I'll just be moving along 1329 01:03:26,595 --> 01:03:28,218 - [Family] Surprise! 1330 01:03:28,218 --> 01:03:29,357 - Happy Birthday! 1331 01:03:29,357 --> 01:03:32,015 - Happy birthday, son! 1332 01:03:32,015 --> 01:03:34,120 - Wow, I didn't expect... 1333 01:03:35,535 --> 01:03:36,743 How's the Antarctica? 1334 01:03:36,743 --> 01:03:37,744 - Amazing! 1335 01:03:37,744 --> 01:03:39,229 Your mother was the hero. 1336 01:03:39,229 --> 01:03:41,818 She devised a scheme to foul the prop on the Nisshin Maru. 1337 01:03:41,818 --> 01:03:43,129 - [Judy] And your father was shot in the balls 1338 01:03:43,129 --> 01:03:45,200 by one of the Japanese deckhands. 1339 01:03:45,200 --> 01:03:46,305 - With a rubber bullet. 1340 01:03:46,305 --> 01:03:48,065 - It swelled up like coconuts. 1341 01:03:48,065 --> 01:03:50,688 - I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts. 1342 01:03:50,688 --> 01:03:51,793 Lookin' good boy. 1343 01:03:51,793 --> 01:03:53,277 - [Judy] So good to see you. 1344 01:03:53,277 --> 01:03:55,314 - [Jerry] Yeah, so good. 1345 01:04:03,736 --> 01:04:04,910 - Hey, what'd you tell them? 1346 01:04:04,910 --> 01:04:05,911 - About what? 1347 01:04:05,911 --> 01:04:07,533 - About us, about the divorce. 1348 01:04:07,533 --> 01:04:08,637 - When? 1349 01:04:08,637 --> 01:04:09,535 They haven't stopped talking since they got here. 1350 01:04:09,535 --> 01:04:10,881 - Oh, thank god. 1351 01:04:12,020 --> 01:04:13,297 - You're gonna have to tell them. 1352 01:04:13,297 --> 01:04:15,506 - Well, not tonight, it's my birthday. 1353 01:04:15,506 --> 01:04:16,818 Plus it's humiliating. 1354 01:04:16,818 --> 01:04:18,440 They're marriage has lasted 32 years 1355 01:04:18,440 --> 01:04:22,893 and ours lasted about as long as a Hobbit movie. 1356 01:04:22,893 --> 01:04:24,688 - [Jerry] Happy birthday, son. 1357 01:04:24,688 --> 01:04:28,209 - My charitable works continue, I see. 1358 01:04:28,209 --> 01:04:29,762 What's this? 1359 01:04:29,762 --> 01:04:33,697 - Two tickets to Tahiti for an all inclusive stay at Brando. 1360 01:04:33,697 --> 01:04:35,802 - It's a luxury eco-resort. 1361 01:04:35,802 --> 01:04:39,185 - I could have been a contender. 1362 01:04:39,185 --> 01:04:40,738 Because my boy and his beautiful bride 1363 01:04:40,738 --> 01:04:45,260 deserve the absolute best honeymoon the money can buy. 1364 01:04:46,848 --> 01:04:48,125 - Speaking of honeymoons, 1365 01:04:48,125 --> 01:04:49,886 you know your father and I are undergoing 1366 01:04:49,886 --> 01:04:52,198 a bit of a second one right now. 1367 01:04:52,198 --> 01:04:54,649 - Let's just say, we're experiencing a refreshed sense 1368 01:04:54,649 --> 01:04:56,754 of sexual energy. 1369 01:04:56,754 --> 01:04:59,585 Exploring our aging bodies. 1370 01:04:59,585 --> 01:05:03,106 So many delicious new cavities to explore. 1371 01:05:05,660 --> 01:05:07,144 - Well, it's a very thoughtful gift 1372 01:05:07,144 --> 01:05:09,906 and I thank you very much. 1373 01:05:09,906 --> 01:05:11,631 It's thoughtful, isn't it, Charlotte? 1374 01:05:11,631 --> 01:05:13,944 - Yeah, yeah, thank you so much. 1375 01:05:13,944 --> 01:05:15,566 - Okay, let's have a photo. 1376 01:05:15,566 --> 01:05:17,327 Hold up your present. 1377 01:05:20,468 --> 01:05:22,539 - This isn't the Middle East peace talks. 1378 01:05:22,539 --> 01:05:23,954 How about a kiss? 1379 01:05:29,580 --> 01:05:30,443 Lovely. 1380 01:05:38,037 --> 01:05:41,075 [steady jazz music] 1381 01:05:43,974 --> 01:05:47,184 - I'm sensing a little bit of disharmony. 1382 01:05:47,184 --> 01:05:48,875 - I'm sorry, I'm just feeling a bit-- 1383 01:05:48,875 --> 01:05:51,637 - Yeah, I know, is it Brandon? 1384 01:05:51,637 --> 01:05:52,983 You know, because he's a sweet boy 1385 01:05:52,983 --> 01:05:55,123 but he can also be a massive pain in the ass. 1386 01:05:55,123 --> 01:05:56,607 Trust me, I know. 1387 01:05:58,161 --> 01:05:59,024 - It's not just him. 1388 01:05:59,024 --> 01:06:00,957 It's just that we, 1389 01:06:00,957 --> 01:06:05,133 you know, we both weren't as honest as we should have been. 1390 01:06:05,133 --> 01:06:05,996 - Ah. 1391 01:06:08,688 --> 01:06:11,898 Well, I remember when Jerry and I met. 1392 01:06:13,003 --> 01:06:16,834 He thought I was a democrat and a virgin. 1393 01:06:16,834 --> 01:06:18,077 [laughing] 1394 01:06:18,077 --> 01:06:21,322 The truth is, I was in love with Reagan 1395 01:06:21,322 --> 01:06:25,084 and I'd slept with half the boys in the neighborhood. 1396 01:06:25,084 --> 01:06:26,706 - So, you? 1397 01:06:26,706 --> 01:06:31,021 - Well, I told him what I thought he wanted to hear 1398 01:06:31,021 --> 01:06:34,024 which was not the truth, I-- 1399 01:06:34,024 --> 01:06:34,956 - You-- 1400 01:06:34,956 --> 01:06:37,476 - Lied, yes, guilty as charged. 1401 01:06:38,615 --> 01:06:42,481 But when I met him, I knew he was special. 1402 01:06:42,481 --> 01:06:46,899 So all of this nonsense just came babbling out of me. 1403 01:06:46,899 --> 01:06:48,832 - And how did you? 1404 01:06:48,832 --> 01:06:51,283 - I eventually found the courage 1405 01:06:51,283 --> 01:06:55,321 to tell him what was in my head and in my heart. 1406 01:06:56,667 --> 01:06:58,876 And that's been the glue of our relationship 1407 01:06:58,876 --> 01:07:01,362 from that day forward. 1408 01:07:01,362 --> 01:07:03,226 - You sure you don't want some of this? 1409 01:07:03,226 --> 01:07:04,503 It's Peruvian hog's breath. 1410 01:07:04,503 --> 01:07:06,470 They grow it above three line. 1411 01:07:06,470 --> 01:07:07,747 Sweet. 1412 01:07:07,747 --> 01:07:10,371 - Nah, I'm good, thanks, Dad. 1413 01:07:10,371 --> 01:07:12,683 I'm not really in the mood. 1414 01:07:13,615 --> 01:07:15,893 - Why so glum, Sunny Jim? 1415 01:07:15,893 --> 01:07:17,964 - I don't know, Dad. 1416 01:07:17,964 --> 01:07:19,414 Marriage is hard. 1417 01:07:22,797 --> 01:07:26,559 - You have a keen grasp of the obvious. 1418 01:07:26,559 --> 01:07:30,770 - I think mine was just a bad idea from the start. 1419 01:07:32,151 --> 01:07:36,224 - Brandon, not a day goes by that I don't ask myself, 1420 01:07:37,536 --> 01:07:41,091 did I do the right thing marrying that woman? 1421 01:07:41,091 --> 01:07:44,508 - That's not very romantic, Dad. 1422 01:07:44,508 --> 01:07:47,718 - It is when the answer is always yes. 1423 01:08:09,602 --> 01:08:11,915 [thudding] 1424 01:08:14,849 --> 01:08:16,126 [Jerry and Judy moaning] 1425 01:08:16,126 --> 01:08:17,265 - Oh, my god. 1426 01:08:21,235 --> 01:08:24,721 [Jerry and Judy moaning] 1427 01:08:32,142 --> 01:08:34,834 - [Charlotte] Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 1428 01:08:34,834 --> 01:08:36,698 [thudding] 1429 01:08:36,698 --> 01:08:39,080 [chuckling] 1430 01:08:47,951 --> 01:08:50,574 [mellow music] 1431 01:08:58,617 --> 01:08:59,652 - [Judy] Sweetie, what's wrong? 1432 01:08:59,652 --> 01:09:00,619 Are you okay? 1433 01:09:00,619 --> 01:09:01,999 - Yeah, Mom, I know, I'm fine. 1434 01:09:01,999 --> 01:09:03,760 I just have a headache, that's all. 1435 01:09:03,760 --> 01:09:05,727 - [Jerry] I think I have something for that. 1436 01:09:05,727 --> 01:09:08,178 - Well, you've always got somethin' for somethin'. 1437 01:09:08,178 --> 01:09:11,388 - Great, why do you have a DEA property room 1438 01:09:11,388 --> 01:09:12,665 around your waist? 1439 01:09:12,665 --> 01:09:13,839 - [Schweitzer Polizei Frau] Oh, I would love 1440 01:09:13,839 --> 01:09:15,220 to make this bust. 1441 01:09:15,220 --> 01:09:18,775 Window Pane acid, peyote, shrooms, mescaline, ecstasy, 1442 01:09:18,775 --> 01:09:21,018 hashish and Viagra. 1443 01:09:21,018 --> 01:09:22,710 - It's our mobile first aid kit. 1444 01:09:22,710 --> 01:09:25,230 Recently replenished in Tierra del Fuego. 1445 01:09:25,230 --> 01:09:26,990 - You know, they have a very enlightened attitude 1446 01:09:26,990 --> 01:09:28,854 towards psychotropics. 1447 01:09:29,717 --> 01:09:30,821 - Here it is. 1448 01:09:31,615 --> 01:09:33,169 Ginger root. 1449 01:09:33,169 --> 01:09:36,379 - Yeah, Dad, don't you have any Advil? 1450 01:09:36,379 --> 01:09:37,242 - Advil. 1451 01:09:38,450 --> 01:09:40,314 That's fuckin' poison. 1452 01:09:42,454 --> 01:09:43,282 [phone ringing] 1453 01:09:43,282 --> 01:09:44,973 - Ow, shit! 1454 01:09:44,973 --> 01:09:45,836 Ow, god. 1455 01:09:47,631 --> 01:09:48,874 What? 1456 01:09:48,874 --> 01:09:50,358 - [Bonnie] Good morning, Charlotte, 1457 01:09:50,358 --> 01:09:52,602 this is Bonnie Newton from the Culver City Charter School. 1458 01:09:52,602 --> 01:09:54,293 Is this a good time? 1459 01:09:55,329 --> 01:09:57,745 - Yeah, yeah, definitely, hi. 1460 01:09:57,745 --> 01:09:59,609 - [Bonnie] Good, well, we're having a gathering 1461 01:09:59,609 --> 01:10:01,576 this afternoon with some of the board. 1462 01:10:01,576 --> 01:10:03,923 I thought it might help your cause if you attended 1463 01:10:03,923 --> 01:10:06,409 and demonstrated to everyone what a solid, 1464 01:10:06,409 --> 01:10:07,927 upstanding, young woman you are. 1465 01:10:07,927 --> 01:10:10,896 - Yeah, I would love to, thank you. 1466 01:10:10,896 --> 01:10:12,138 - [Bonnie] Well, we West Virginia gals 1467 01:10:12,138 --> 01:10:14,279 have to stick together. 1468 01:10:14,279 --> 01:10:15,245 [giggling] 1469 01:10:15,245 --> 01:10:16,315 I'll email you the details. 1470 01:10:16,315 --> 01:10:17,868 - Okay, great. 1471 01:10:17,868 --> 01:10:19,387 - [Bonnie] Oh, and bring that charming 1472 01:10:19,387 --> 01:10:21,562 and supportive husband of yours. 1473 01:10:21,562 --> 01:10:23,840 - Yeah, of course, thank you, yeah. 1474 01:10:23,840 --> 01:10:25,669 I'll will see you there, thanks. 1475 01:10:25,669 --> 01:10:26,946 - [Bonnie] Bye. 1476 01:10:30,950 --> 01:10:32,400 - First, you want me to tell my parents 1477 01:10:32,400 --> 01:10:34,713 we're getting divorced and now, you want me to go 1478 01:10:34,713 --> 01:10:38,475 to a garden party and pretend we're happily married? 1479 01:10:38,475 --> 01:10:39,959 - Brandon, just please. 1480 01:10:39,959 --> 01:10:42,203 If I get this job, then I'll have enough money 1481 01:10:42,203 --> 01:10:43,756 and I can move out. 1482 01:10:45,033 --> 01:10:45,862 - Okay. 1483 01:10:46,966 --> 01:10:48,934 That makes sense. 1484 01:10:48,934 --> 01:10:51,212 - So nice to see you again. 1485 01:10:53,214 --> 01:10:54,042 Oh, Charlotte. 1486 01:10:54,042 --> 01:10:55,043 - Hi. 1487 01:10:55,043 --> 01:10:56,286 - [Bonnie] So glad you could make it, dear. 1488 01:10:56,286 --> 01:10:57,218 - Thank you for having us. 1489 01:10:57,218 --> 01:10:58,461 - You're welcome. 1490 01:10:58,461 --> 01:11:00,117 - Mrs. Newton, this is my husband Brandon. 1491 01:11:00,117 --> 01:11:01,498 - Very nice to meet you. 1492 01:11:01,498 --> 01:11:03,742 And this is our host and head of the board, 1493 01:11:03,742 --> 01:11:06,365 Dr. Glenn Wooster and his mother, 1494 01:11:06,365 --> 01:11:09,886 Lilian Cavendish Wooster. - Nice to meet you. 1495 01:11:11,059 --> 01:11:14,580 [mellow orchestral music] 1496 01:11:16,030 --> 01:11:17,445 - You know, Charlotte has been teaching first grade 1497 01:11:17,445 --> 01:11:19,413 for over eight years. 1498 01:11:19,413 --> 01:11:20,586 - You don't find it challenging 1499 01:11:20,586 --> 01:11:22,139 to be around children all day? 1500 01:11:22,139 --> 01:11:25,522 - Oh, god no, I just love kids so much. 1501 01:11:25,522 --> 01:11:28,801 They're so honest and entertaining. 1502 01:11:28,801 --> 01:11:31,079 I have this one student, Emily, 1503 01:11:31,079 --> 01:11:32,840 every day, anywhere she went, 1504 01:11:32,840 --> 01:11:35,118 she always had her two Barbie dolls at her side. 1505 01:11:35,118 --> 01:11:37,362 And on her birthday, I asked her what she wanted 1506 01:11:37,362 --> 01:11:39,295 and she told me, she want more Barbies. 1507 01:11:39,295 --> 01:11:41,055 And so I asked Emily, I was like, 1508 01:11:41,055 --> 01:11:42,746 well, you already have Barbies, why do you need more? 1509 01:11:42,746 --> 01:11:45,231 And he said, because my Barbies smoke and drink 1510 01:11:45,231 --> 01:11:46,336 way too much. 1511 01:11:47,855 --> 01:11:50,133 [laughing] 1512 01:11:52,791 --> 01:11:53,619 - Excuse me. 1513 01:11:53,619 --> 01:11:54,862 - Sure. 1514 01:11:54,862 --> 01:11:56,415 So I just, I don't know. 1515 01:11:56,415 --> 01:11:57,968 They are so much fun and you never know 1516 01:11:57,968 --> 01:12:00,246 what they're gonna say or do next. 1517 01:12:00,246 --> 01:12:03,008 - [Al] Brandon, I bear good tidings. 1518 01:12:03,008 --> 01:12:05,321 I just got you a full-time gig working with me 1519 01:12:05,321 --> 01:12:08,393 over here at Plan C, as promised, buddy. 1520 01:12:08,393 --> 01:12:10,187 Now, please go find a toilet, 1521 01:12:10,187 --> 01:12:11,637 lest you shit yourself with joy 1522 01:12:11,637 --> 01:12:13,363 when I tell you how much you're getting paid. 1523 01:12:13,363 --> 01:12:14,537 Okay, bye. 1524 01:12:14,537 --> 01:12:16,815 [laughing] 1525 01:12:19,990 --> 01:12:21,337 - It was so great to meet you. 1526 01:12:21,337 --> 01:12:22,165 - Good luck. 1527 01:12:22,165 --> 01:12:22,993 - Thank you. 1528 01:12:22,993 --> 01:12:23,822 - [Brandon] Hey. 1529 01:12:23,822 --> 01:12:24,650 - Hey. 1530 01:12:24,650 --> 01:12:25,755 - Got you a beer. 1531 01:12:25,755 --> 01:12:26,618 - Thanks. 1532 01:12:28,585 --> 01:12:31,830 You know, I really don't like beer. 1533 01:12:31,830 --> 01:12:32,658 - Really? 1534 01:12:32,658 --> 01:12:33,521 - Yeah. 1535 01:12:34,798 --> 01:12:36,731 - Neither do I. 1536 01:12:36,731 --> 01:12:38,526 - [Schweitzer Polizei Frau] At last the truth. 1537 01:12:38,526 --> 01:12:41,357 American beers taste like shizer. 1538 01:12:43,117 --> 01:12:45,982 [people laughing] 1539 01:12:45,982 --> 01:12:48,087 - Mr. Wooster, I don't know what the philosophy 1540 01:12:48,087 --> 01:12:49,848 of your school is but my wife and I 1541 01:12:49,848 --> 01:12:52,368 are big supporters of constructivism. 1542 01:12:52,368 --> 01:12:54,300 - Yes, you know, we really like the notion 1543 01:12:54,300 --> 01:12:56,613 that the teacher are facilitating the students 1544 01:12:56,613 --> 01:12:58,546 to interact among themselves. 1545 01:12:58,546 --> 01:13:00,410 Instead of merely lecturing at them 1546 01:13:00,410 --> 01:13:03,758 as they sit and becoming passive listeners. 1547 01:13:03,758 --> 01:13:05,139 - And having the students realize 1548 01:13:05,139 --> 01:13:08,073 that everyone has something to contribute. 1549 01:13:08,073 --> 01:13:10,213 Everyone has a value. 1550 01:13:10,213 --> 01:13:12,905 - You must have read our website. 1551 01:13:12,905 --> 01:13:15,425 - No, we have a son who attended a school 1552 01:13:15,425 --> 01:13:17,220 that was based on constructivism. 1553 01:13:17,220 --> 01:13:21,983 - And we could not be happier with the way he turned out. 1554 01:13:21,983 --> 01:13:22,846 Cheers. 1555 01:13:28,265 --> 01:13:30,578 - I think you made a very good impression. 1556 01:13:30,578 --> 01:13:31,924 - Thank you so much. 1557 01:13:31,924 --> 01:13:33,512 - You're welcome, keep it up. 1558 01:13:33,512 --> 01:13:37,205 And by the way, your in-laws are fabulous. 1559 01:13:37,205 --> 01:13:38,759 - Yeah, they're something. 1560 01:13:38,759 --> 01:13:39,863 - Oh, my daughter's here! 1561 01:13:39,863 --> 01:13:41,175 She's visiting from Morgantown. 1562 01:13:41,175 --> 01:13:42,245 Hi, honey. 1563 01:13:42,245 --> 01:13:43,142 - [Anais] Hey, Mom. 1564 01:13:43,142 --> 01:13:44,661 - [Bonnie] Hi, sweetie. 1565 01:13:44,661 --> 01:13:46,870 Charlotte Conroy, I'd like to introduce you to my daughter, 1566 01:13:46,870 --> 01:13:49,252 Anais, and her husband, Steven. 1567 01:13:49,252 --> 01:13:50,529 - [Anais] Hi, there. 1568 01:13:50,529 --> 01:13:51,668 - Steven. 1569 01:13:51,668 --> 01:13:52,600 - So predictable. 1570 01:13:52,600 --> 01:13:53,877 Sex, missionary position. 1571 01:13:53,877 --> 01:13:57,433 [Steven screaming] 1572 01:13:57,433 --> 01:13:58,675 - [Charlotte] Asshole! 1573 01:13:58,675 --> 01:14:00,643 - Pleasure to meet you. 1574 01:14:02,265 --> 01:14:04,716 - Purse is in the dishwasher. 1575 01:14:10,618 --> 01:14:13,103 - [Steven] Mother, this is wonderful. 1576 01:14:13,103 --> 01:14:15,589 So lovely what you put together here. 1577 01:14:15,589 --> 01:14:17,487 - Grilled shrimp? 1578 01:14:17,487 --> 01:14:19,385 - I guess it must have taken you a very long time 1579 01:14:19,385 --> 01:14:20,835 to ride back from Rwanda. 1580 01:14:20,835 --> 01:14:21,698 - Ah! 1581 01:14:25,875 --> 01:14:28,118 Sorry, will you excuse me. 1582 01:14:33,848 --> 01:14:36,402 - Hey, honey, look at that. 1583 01:14:36,402 --> 01:14:38,784 Let's go for a walk. 1584 01:14:38,784 --> 01:14:40,614 Hey, you feelin' okay? 1585 01:14:40,614 --> 01:14:41,822 - Do you wanna play doctor? 1586 01:14:41,822 --> 01:14:44,203 - Okay, Charlotte, what is going on here? 1587 01:14:44,203 --> 01:14:45,377 - I forgot to feed my cat. 1588 01:14:45,377 --> 01:14:46,240 - Oh, boy! 1589 01:14:47,103 --> 01:14:48,967 Charlotte, talk to me. 1590 01:14:50,658 --> 01:14:51,935 Charlotte, hey. 1591 01:14:53,834 --> 01:14:55,111 - Brandon. 1592 01:14:55,111 --> 01:14:56,871 - What the hell are you two doing here? 1593 01:14:56,871 --> 01:14:57,941 - We came to help Charlotte. 1594 01:14:57,941 --> 01:14:59,460 - This is very important to her. 1595 01:14:59,460 --> 01:15:00,392 - We know. 1596 01:15:00,392 --> 01:15:01,669 - We know everything. 1597 01:15:01,669 --> 01:15:02,877 - That's why we come here, 1598 01:15:02,877 --> 01:15:04,361 we don't want you to make a terrible mistake 1599 01:15:04,361 --> 01:15:06,156 and throw away your soul partner before the cosmos-- 1600 01:15:06,156 --> 01:15:06,950 - Wait a second. 1601 01:15:06,950 --> 01:15:08,193 Wait a minute. 1602 01:15:11,921 --> 01:15:13,163 Are you two high? 1603 01:15:13,163 --> 01:15:13,992 - Brandon! 1604 01:15:13,992 --> 01:15:14,855 - Of course we are. 1605 01:15:14,855 --> 01:15:16,339 - Oh my god. 1606 01:15:16,339 --> 01:15:17,547 - You don't think that we would turn up 1607 01:15:17,547 --> 01:15:19,376 to something like this straight. 1608 01:15:19,376 --> 01:15:21,551 - We've been fighting these people our entire lives 1609 01:15:21,551 --> 01:15:23,622 with their bourgeoisie pretentiousness. 1610 01:15:23,622 --> 01:15:24,899 - And anal bleaching. 1611 01:15:24,899 --> 01:15:26,452 - Would you folks care for some conflict-free 1612 01:15:26,452 --> 01:15:28,800 Ugandan artichoke confit on lardo brushed crostini? 1613 01:15:28,800 --> 01:15:29,663 - No. 1614 01:15:31,388 --> 01:15:32,631 - I'm so sorry. 1615 01:15:43,159 --> 01:15:44,367 - Mrs. Conroy. 1616 01:15:45,402 --> 01:15:47,128 How's the new bride? 1617 01:15:47,128 --> 01:15:48,992 - Couldn't be better. 1618 01:15:48,992 --> 01:15:51,788 - Do I sense trouble in paradise? 1619 01:15:51,788 --> 01:15:52,824 - Not now, Steven. 1620 01:15:52,824 --> 01:15:55,240 - Charlotte, this isn't you. 1621 01:15:55,240 --> 01:15:56,068 - [Charlotte] What? 1622 01:15:56,068 --> 01:15:57,104 What do you mean? 1623 01:15:57,104 --> 01:15:58,484 - I am so sorry. 1624 01:15:59,865 --> 01:16:03,489 I hurt you very badly and your life has taken an ugly turn, 1625 01:16:03,489 --> 01:16:04,525 I apologize. 1626 01:16:05,975 --> 01:16:09,461 You obviously married the first guy you met after me. 1627 01:16:09,461 --> 01:16:10,945 Where was it? 1628 01:16:10,945 --> 01:16:12,188 A dating website? 1629 01:16:12,188 --> 01:16:13,879 Singles bar? 1630 01:16:13,879 --> 01:16:15,087 Old Navy? 1631 01:16:15,087 --> 01:16:16,054 - No, eBay. 1632 01:16:17,780 --> 01:16:19,022 - Good god. 1633 01:16:19,022 --> 01:16:20,817 You bought a husband online? 1634 01:16:20,817 --> 01:16:24,890 - No, we met online, and then fell in love and got married. 1635 01:16:24,890 --> 01:16:27,272 And not after 14 years, Steven. 1636 01:16:27,272 --> 01:16:30,378 - Not all the changes are bad. 1637 01:16:30,378 --> 01:16:31,414 The clothes. 1638 01:16:32,484 --> 01:16:33,347 The hair. 1639 01:16:35,798 --> 01:16:38,524 Do you think about me, Charlotte? 1640 01:16:38,524 --> 01:16:41,320 'Cause I think about you. 1641 01:16:41,320 --> 01:16:42,563 - Of course, I think about you. 1642 01:16:42,563 --> 01:16:45,359 We spent half our lives together. 1643 01:16:46,567 --> 01:16:49,605 [melancholic music] 1644 01:16:56,197 --> 01:16:57,647 - The whale song. 1645 01:16:57,647 --> 01:16:59,994 The whale song, the mating cry of the humpback. 1646 01:16:59,994 --> 01:17:01,686 - Let's get you into the house, mother, 1647 01:17:01,686 --> 01:17:04,689 and you can take a nice little nap. 1648 01:17:06,311 --> 01:17:08,002 How dare you? 1649 01:17:08,002 --> 01:17:09,417 Let's go, mother. 1650 01:17:10,902 --> 01:17:13,698 - Oh, I miss your father so much! 1651 01:17:16,390 --> 01:17:17,771 - Steven? 1652 01:17:17,771 --> 01:17:18,634 - Yes. 1653 01:17:19,635 --> 01:17:21,740 - You're such an asshole. 1654 01:17:23,224 --> 01:17:25,226 Is that all it took? 1655 01:17:25,226 --> 01:17:27,884 You want me now that I'm with someone else? 1656 01:17:27,884 --> 01:17:29,334 - There's more to it than that, Charlotte. 1657 01:17:29,334 --> 01:17:30,784 - Oh yeah, really, like what? 1658 01:17:30,784 --> 01:17:32,026 And you'd really better be quick 1659 01:17:32,026 --> 01:17:34,132 because my husband is right outside that door. 1660 01:17:34,132 --> 01:17:37,238 And your wife, that poor woman. 1661 01:17:37,238 --> 01:17:39,206 - I mean, you don't even understand. 1662 01:17:39,206 --> 01:17:43,141 Anais, she is so spontaneous and unpredictable. 1663 01:17:44,763 --> 01:17:46,938 One minute, we're snowboarding in Telluride, 1664 01:17:46,938 --> 01:17:51,218 the next we are making love in a Mexican agave field. 1665 01:17:51,218 --> 01:17:53,323 I miss your predictability. 1666 01:17:53,323 --> 01:17:56,948 I miss the quiet, boring times, the unimaginative sex, 1667 01:17:56,948 --> 01:17:58,190 all of it. 1668 01:17:58,190 --> 01:18:01,228 I never appreciated it until it was gone. 1669 01:18:02,505 --> 01:18:05,266 - Well, it's not coming back. 1670 01:18:05,266 --> 01:18:06,129 Ever. 1671 01:18:07,268 --> 01:18:10,271 - Hey, hey, I just got a new job in DC. 1672 01:18:11,100 --> 01:18:13,412 Let's leave these two horrible, 1673 01:18:13,412 --> 01:18:17,658 disgusting mistakes behind and get back to our old lives. 1674 01:18:17,658 --> 01:18:20,143 - My husband is not a mistake. 1675 01:18:20,143 --> 01:18:21,869 Yes, we rushed into marriage 1676 01:18:21,869 --> 01:18:23,422 and things haven't been perfect 1677 01:18:23,422 --> 01:18:25,459 and after 10 ridiculous days, 1678 01:18:25,459 --> 01:18:28,807 things are just blowing up in our faces, but 1679 01:18:28,807 --> 01:18:31,741 there have been moments, in between all the lies 1680 01:18:31,741 --> 01:18:33,570 and the bullshit where I've loved him more 1681 01:18:33,570 --> 01:18:36,746 than anybody in my entire life. 1682 01:18:36,746 --> 01:18:37,920 Including you. 1683 01:18:39,576 --> 01:18:40,854 - So it's over. 1684 01:18:42,372 --> 01:18:43,304 Perfect. 1685 01:18:43,304 --> 01:18:44,547 - No, Steven. 1686 01:18:44,547 --> 01:18:47,826 - Hey, I dare you to kiss me one more time 1687 01:18:47,826 --> 01:18:50,587 and tell me you don't love me. 1688 01:18:50,587 --> 01:18:51,623 [grunts] Ow! 1689 01:18:51,623 --> 01:18:52,762 Oh, fuck. 1690 01:18:52,762 --> 01:18:54,074 - Sorry, Steven. 1691 01:18:54,074 --> 01:18:57,146 But as we say in the yard, I gotta do me. 1692 01:18:57,146 --> 01:19:00,183 So fuck all y'all if you can't appreciate it! 1693 01:19:00,183 --> 01:19:01,046 Huh! 1694 01:19:09,572 --> 01:19:11,712 - Mr. Wooster, I wanna apologize for earlier. 1695 01:19:11,712 --> 01:19:13,058 My wife threw her back out 1696 01:19:13,058 --> 01:19:15,578 and I was giving her an adjustment. 1697 01:19:15,578 --> 01:19:17,649 - Anyway, we really love the school 1698 01:19:17,649 --> 01:19:21,722 and we'd like to make a small donation. 1699 01:19:21,722 --> 01:19:25,968 - I don't see how that's gonna make any difference. 1700 01:19:26,831 --> 01:19:28,453 This is very generous. 1701 01:19:28,453 --> 01:19:29,937 Thank you very much. 1702 01:19:29,937 --> 01:19:34,908 I'm gonna find Mrs. Newton and tell her the good news. 1703 01:19:35,771 --> 01:19:37,324 - Wasn't that check for Brandon? 1704 01:19:37,324 --> 01:19:38,808 - Our son's not very good with money anyway 1705 01:19:38,808 --> 01:19:40,948 so it doesn't matter. 1706 01:19:40,948 --> 01:19:43,088 - And an investment in her future. 1707 01:19:43,088 --> 01:19:46,057 - Is an investment in their future. 1708 01:19:55,721 --> 01:19:57,758 - Did you mean what you said in there? 1709 01:19:57,758 --> 01:19:59,104 - Yes. 1710 01:19:59,104 --> 01:19:59,967 No, maybe. 1711 01:20:02,418 --> 01:20:03,522 I don't know. 1712 01:20:08,734 --> 01:20:09,666 - [Jerry] Hey. 1713 01:20:09,666 --> 01:20:11,116 - Hey. 1714 01:20:11,116 --> 01:20:13,222 - Wow, looks like you could use a little first aid, 1715 01:20:13,222 --> 01:20:14,706 my friend. 1716 01:20:14,706 --> 01:20:17,467 [mystical music] 1717 01:20:19,021 --> 01:20:22,058 [guests chattering] 1718 01:20:30,687 --> 01:20:33,483 [mystical music] 1719 01:20:34,864 --> 01:20:37,142 - [Pegaverneius] All hail, all hail the chosen one. 1720 01:20:37,142 --> 01:20:38,143 - Who said that? 1721 01:20:38,143 --> 01:20:39,627 - [Pegaverneius] It is I my lord, 1722 01:20:39,627 --> 01:20:41,215 Pegaverneius Candoe of the Nexus Space and Guild. 1723 01:20:41,215 --> 01:20:45,771 I have traveled nearly 12 parsecs to find you. 1724 01:20:45,771 --> 01:20:47,014 - Okay. 1725 01:20:47,014 --> 01:20:48,050 - [Pegaverneius] You are the rightful heir 1726 01:20:48,050 --> 01:20:49,499 to the throne of Nargathus. 1727 01:20:49,499 --> 01:20:51,674 The star child as foretold in our prophesies. 1728 01:20:51,674 --> 01:20:53,365 A magnificent creature of unlimited wisdom 1729 01:20:53,365 --> 01:20:55,091 and breath taking physical perfection. 1730 01:20:55,091 --> 01:20:55,920 - Yeah. 1731 01:20:57,197 --> 01:20:58,129 I get that. 1732 01:20:59,509 --> 01:21:00,717 - [Pegaverneius] The great epiphany is at hand. 1733 01:21:00,717 --> 01:21:02,374 Reveal your magnificence to the members 1734 01:21:02,374 --> 01:21:04,204 of the Culver City Charter School Board, 1735 01:21:04,204 --> 01:21:06,171 and then the world. 1736 01:21:06,171 --> 01:21:08,449 Let them kowtow at your feet. 1737 01:21:08,449 --> 01:21:09,899 Worship you. 1738 01:21:09,899 --> 01:21:12,902 Tremble at you your unlimited power. 1739 01:21:13,903 --> 01:21:17,079 [laughing maniacally] 1740 01:21:21,324 --> 01:21:23,499 - I must tell you how delighted we all are 1741 01:21:23,499 --> 01:21:27,883 about the substantial donation from your in-laws. 1742 01:21:27,883 --> 01:21:30,713 - Well, they are very surprisingly generous people. 1743 01:21:30,713 --> 01:21:31,956 - Well, I can tell you, 1744 01:21:31,956 --> 01:21:33,336 there's a lot we can do with those funds. 1745 01:21:33,336 --> 01:21:35,269 - Loyal subjects! 1746 01:21:35,269 --> 01:21:37,202 I am your unicorn king! 1747 01:21:38,617 --> 01:21:41,897 By the powers vested in me through the flames of Asinoff, 1748 01:21:41,897 --> 01:21:46,315 I command you, kneel, kneel before your unicorn king. 1749 01:21:48,006 --> 01:21:49,663 - [Guest] That guys I fucking crazy. 1750 01:21:49,663 --> 01:21:53,632 - The time in neigh, the season is in bloom, 1751 01:21:53,632 --> 01:21:56,704 I call upon you subjects to step forth 1752 01:21:56,704 --> 01:21:59,017 and harvest this royal seed. 1753 01:22:00,260 --> 01:22:02,503 [grunting] 1754 01:22:03,849 --> 01:22:06,783 [guests screaming] 1755 01:22:09,717 --> 01:22:12,686 - Steven, what the hell are you doing? 1756 01:22:12,686 --> 01:22:15,378 - Fair Anais, Steven is no more. 1757 01:22:18,381 --> 01:22:20,073 Your milk has soured. 1758 01:22:21,867 --> 01:22:22,903 - Oh, Momma! 1759 01:22:23,973 --> 01:22:25,423 [guests screaming] 1760 01:22:25,423 --> 01:22:29,220 - Look upon me as I raise the imperial scepter. 1761 01:22:32,188 --> 01:22:35,122 - [Child] Mommy, that man is nasty. 1762 01:22:36,848 --> 01:22:38,884 - Prepare to receive me! 1763 01:22:40,300 --> 01:22:41,163 [thuds] 1764 01:22:41,163 --> 01:22:42,095 - [Man] Bam! 1765 01:22:42,095 --> 01:22:43,441 [speaking in foreign language] 1766 01:22:43,441 --> 01:22:45,719 - [Guest] That has to hurt. 1767 01:22:45,719 --> 01:22:48,170 [applauding] 1768 01:22:51,414 --> 01:22:53,347 - And, as I was saying, 1769 01:22:55,798 --> 01:22:58,214 could you come in on Monday? 1770 01:22:58,214 --> 01:23:00,561 Oh, we would be honored to have a young woman 1771 01:23:00,561 --> 01:23:02,874 of your character at Culver City Charter. 1772 01:23:02,874 --> 01:23:04,186 - I'd love to! 1773 01:23:04,186 --> 01:23:05,911 Thank you so much. 1774 01:23:05,911 --> 01:23:06,947 Oh my god, thank you. 1775 01:23:06,947 --> 01:23:07,810 Thank you. 1776 01:23:14,196 --> 01:23:16,681 What in the world got into Steven? 1777 01:23:16,681 --> 01:23:18,096 - I don't know. 1778 01:23:18,096 --> 01:23:18,994 Any ideas? 1779 01:23:19,891 --> 01:23:21,513 - Food poisoning perhaps? 1780 01:23:21,513 --> 01:23:26,104 - I think the artichoke confit looked a little sketchy. 1781 01:23:28,520 --> 01:23:32,041 - Since there's no dispute over assets or property, 1782 01:23:32,041 --> 01:23:34,043 just sign and it's done. 1783 01:23:35,182 --> 01:23:39,083 You'll never have to see one another again. 1784 01:23:39,083 --> 01:23:43,225 That line right there, the one with your name next to it. 1785 01:23:43,225 --> 01:23:44,088 - I know. 1786 01:23:50,370 --> 01:23:54,753 On second thought, I want the Chinese rocket statue. 1787 01:23:57,411 --> 01:23:58,378 - Alrighty. 1788 01:23:59,448 --> 01:24:02,796 If you agree, Mr. Conroy, we're done here. 1789 01:24:05,247 --> 01:24:06,834 - No. 1790 01:24:06,834 --> 01:24:09,285 No, I can't part with that. 1791 01:24:09,285 --> 01:24:13,220 - Well, what if y'all shared joint custody? 1792 01:24:13,220 --> 01:24:16,120 Each of you take it for a week or two at a time? 1793 01:24:16,120 --> 01:24:18,639 - No, that won't work. 1794 01:24:18,639 --> 01:24:21,366 - Can you just buy a second statue? 1795 01:24:21,366 --> 01:24:24,266 That way, y'all can each have your own. 1796 01:24:24,266 --> 01:24:25,508 - No. 1797 01:24:25,508 --> 01:24:27,476 No, it's one of a kind. 1798 01:24:28,753 --> 01:24:31,135 - Well bless your hearts. 1799 01:24:31,135 --> 01:24:33,309 I don't mean to be rude 1800 01:24:33,309 --> 01:24:35,173 but I've gotta be gettin' out to Malibu. 1801 01:24:35,173 --> 01:24:37,520 I'm havin' lunch at Gerard's. 1802 01:24:37,520 --> 01:24:40,144 - Try the lobster, it's delicious. 1803 01:24:40,144 --> 01:24:42,146 - And not cheap. 1804 01:24:42,146 --> 01:24:44,217 - Can we please get this thing goin'? 1805 01:24:44,217 --> 01:24:45,908 - Hey, don't rush our divorce, man. 1806 01:24:45,908 --> 01:24:47,323 - Yeah. 1807 01:24:47,323 --> 01:24:50,878 - You know, maybe we should get lunch, too. 1808 01:24:50,878 --> 01:24:54,089 - Yeah, I mean, we shouldn't do this on an empty stomach. 1809 01:24:54,089 --> 01:24:55,366 - Right. 1810 01:24:55,366 --> 01:24:56,781 - Now, hold on a second. 1811 01:24:56,781 --> 01:24:59,059 What about your signatures? 1812 01:24:59,059 --> 01:25:00,509 Damn it to hell. 1813 01:25:00,509 --> 01:25:03,305 The wheels are comin' off the wagon. 1814 01:25:03,305 --> 01:25:06,411 This divorce is fallin' apart. 1815 01:25:06,411 --> 01:25:09,518 - I blame her. - It's his fault. 1816 01:25:09,518 --> 01:25:12,072 [mellow music] 1817 01:25:20,149 --> 01:25:23,187 [melancholic music] 1818 01:25:24,084 --> 01:25:25,603 - This ends now. 1819 01:25:25,603 --> 01:25:28,399 I'm getting out of here and you're not stopping me! 1820 01:25:28,399 --> 01:25:29,917 [thuds] 1821 01:25:29,917 --> 01:25:31,850 - [Schweitzer Polizei Frau] An so concludes our story. 1822 01:25:31,850 --> 01:25:33,473 Poor Charlotte and Brandon, 1823 01:25:33,473 --> 01:25:36,165 their journey has taught them nothing. 1824 01:25:36,165 --> 01:25:37,925 - Oh my god, I'm so sorry. 1825 01:25:37,925 --> 01:25:39,306 Did I slap you too hard? 1826 01:25:39,306 --> 01:25:41,964 - Nein baby, it was just right. 1827 01:25:43,172 --> 01:25:46,002 [speaking in foreign language] 1828 01:25:46,002 --> 01:25:48,212 [speaking in foreign language] 1829 01:25:48,212 --> 01:25:51,353 [light lively music] 1830 01:25:59,637 --> 01:26:03,054 ♪ We found each other far from home ♪ 1831 01:26:03,054 --> 01:26:06,851 ♪ Without a shelter from the cold ♪ 1832 01:26:06,851 --> 01:26:08,093 ♪ And we took each other 1833 01:26:08,093 --> 01:26:12,822 ♪ With our arms on everything that we own ♪ 1834 01:26:14,376 --> 01:26:19,415 ♪ Now I know, I couldn't go it alone ♪ 1835 01:26:21,417 --> 01:26:26,457 ♪ Now I know, I couldn't go it alone ♪ 1836 01:26:29,011 --> 01:26:32,325 ♪ Though it's such a winding road ♪ 1837 01:26:32,325 --> 01:26:35,880 ♪ Traversing what we not be known ♪ 1838 01:26:35,880 --> 01:26:37,813 ♪ Time was by the game 1839 01:26:37,813 --> 01:26:42,852 ♪ Played it while I watched you grow ♪ 1840 01:26:43,957 --> 01:26:48,479 ♪ Now I know, I couldn't play it alone ♪ 1841 01:26:50,757 --> 01:26:55,796 ♪ Now I know, I couldn't go it alone ♪ 1842 01:26:57,936 --> 01:27:02,976 ♪ I know that I could never go it alone ♪ 1843 01:27:05,323 --> 01:27:10,294 ♪ I know that I 1844 01:27:11,122 --> 01:27:15,747 ♪ Could never go it alone 1845 01:27:19,820 --> 01:27:23,341 ♪ Summer's coming, winter's go 1846 01:27:23,341 --> 01:27:26,965 ♪ Years flow by, you know 1847 01:27:26,965 --> 01:27:28,519 ♪ Bones are getting sleepy 1848 01:27:28,519 --> 01:27:33,558 ♪ But I keep on keeping on 'cause you know ♪ 1849 01:27:34,456 --> 01:27:39,495 ♪ I could never keep it alone 1850 01:27:41,808 --> 01:27:46,847 ♪ I know I couldn't go it alone ♪ 1851 01:27:49,471 --> 01:27:53,095 ♪ Though the destination meet the point ♪ 1852 01:27:53,095 --> 01:27:55,684 ♪ It's just the end 1853 01:27:55,684 --> 01:27:58,687 ♪ But there's all road to salvation ♪ 1854 01:27:58,687 --> 01:28:03,726 ♪ There's much to learn, the pride it bring ♪ 1855 01:28:05,210 --> 01:28:10,250 ♪ I know that I could never go it alone ♪ 1856 01:28:12,494 --> 01:28:17,533 ♪ And I know that I 1857 01:28:18,534 --> 01:28:22,089 ♪ Could never go it alone 1858 01:28:28,717 --> 01:28:32,755 ♪ Ooh 1859 01:28:32,755 --> 01:28:36,276 ♪ And I know 1860 01:28:36,276 --> 01:28:39,831 ♪ 'Cause I know 1861 01:28:39,831 --> 01:28:43,939 ♪ That I could never go it alone ♪ 1862 01:28:50,394 --> 01:28:53,535 ♪ There you are 1863 01:28:53,535 --> 01:28:58,574 ♪ The woman of my dreams and so it seems ♪ 1864 01:29:00,921 --> 01:29:04,235 ♪ Here we are 1865 01:29:04,235 --> 01:29:09,274 ♪ Forgetting all the things we said we were ♪ 1866 01:29:10,724 --> 01:29:13,865 ♪ The way we weren't 1867 01:29:13,865 --> 01:29:18,111 ♪ And what we might've been 1868 01:29:18,111 --> 01:29:23,150 ♪ Is nothing compared to this love we're in ♪ 1869 01:29:25,187 --> 01:29:30,226 ♪ And I know I'm not the only one who agrees ♪ 1870 01:29:31,504 --> 01:29:35,024 ♪ You know what it's like 1871 01:29:35,024 --> 01:29:38,683 ♪ What it's like to be 1872 01:29:38,683 --> 01:29:40,961 ♪ To be in love 1873 01:29:40,961 --> 01:29:45,759 ♪ Now, we know what it's really like ♪ 1874 01:29:45,759 --> 01:29:47,727 ♪ To be in love 1875 01:29:47,727 --> 01:29:52,766 ♪ Now, we know what it's really like ♪ 1876 01:29:54,389 --> 01:29:57,702 ♪ Here we are 1877 01:29:57,702 --> 01:30:02,742 ♪ Listening to terrible advice 1878 01:30:04,537 --> 01:30:08,437 ♪ Some strategy 1879 01:30:08,437 --> 01:30:13,442 ♪ We're making this connection for a price ♪ 1880 01:30:14,788 --> 01:30:17,895 ♪ The way we weren't 1881 01:30:17,895 --> 01:30:22,037 ♪ And what we might've been 1882 01:30:22,037 --> 01:30:27,076 ♪ Is nothing compared to this love we're in ♪ 1883 01:30:29,320 --> 01:30:34,359 ♪ And love, even in this troubled time ♪ 1884 01:30:36,431 --> 01:30:41,436 ♪ Yes, love can reach 3,000 miles ♪ 1885 01:30:43,610 --> 01:30:48,650 ♪ And I know I'm not the only one who breeze ♪ 1886 01:30:50,099 --> 01:30:53,448 ♪ You know what it's like 1887 01:30:53,448 --> 01:30:57,141 ♪ What it's like to be 1888 01:30:57,141 --> 01:30:59,350 ♪ To be in love 1889 01:30:59,350 --> 01:31:04,079 ♪ Now, we know what it's really like ♪ 1890 01:31:04,079 --> 01:31:06,253 ♪ To be in love 1891 01:31:06,253 --> 01:31:11,224 ♪ Now, we know what it's really like ♪ 1892 01:31:11,949 --> 01:31:13,468 ♪ To be in love 1893 01:31:13,468 --> 01:31:18,438 ♪ Now, we know what it's really like ♪ 1894 01:31:18,438 --> 01:31:20,509 ♪ To be in love 1895 01:31:20,509 --> 01:31:25,549 ♪ Now, we know what it's really like ♪ 1896 01:31:26,826 --> 01:31:30,277 ♪ Here you are 1897 01:31:30,277 --> 01:31:35,041 ♪ The woman of my dreams and I'm in love ♪ 124360