Original subtitles

Hey, y'all.

Hey.

have you, uh, driven

No. I got better

You drove by it yesterday.

"Lately" means "today," Tina.

And I only

because the gas station

is right across the street.

Right. Uh...

Pop, you know, it's natural

about what they're doing

Well, I'm not.

Okay. Well,

the sign says

It is?

Yeah.

Well, I wish them luck.

(chuckles)

I wonder

Why would they change it?

They bought it because it's

Yeah, well,

if you want to check it out,

I don't want to check it out!

But what I would like to do

is take my lovely wife out

Oh.

You know, I got a taste

Come on, Tina.

So your idea of a nice lunch

(chuckles softly)

Just because we came into

we can't forget

Okay. I'm sorry.

I would love to.

(scoffs) I mean, yeah,

that's been rolling underneath

But, please, please, can we stop

And I know you don't want to,

Fine.

You see what you

Now your mama making me go.

(loud rock music playing)

(indistinct chatter)

What in the

Are we being punk'd?

Welcome to Calvin's Pit Stop.

This ain't Calvin's Pit Stop.

Yes, it is.

Would you like to see

or are we just gonna top off

Hold on.

What'd you say to my wife?

No. No, no, no, no.

he's talking

This-this is

Oh, my God.

You're the guy!

Oh, hell nah!

Hey! Everybody!

Calvin's here!

No, he's not!

* Welcome to the block,

* Welcome to the hood. *

(indistinct chatter)

I mean, how am I supposed

with this grinning

It's not so bad.

He's kind of cute.

I don't want to be cute.

I mean, I mean,

but I don't want them

to sell "artesianal"

Why don't they just say

Ooh, and-and

"Calvin's Favorite:

"bison truffle sliders

and watercress."

Who told them that

I don't know what

and I hate

Mm.

Well, how did this

the developers didn't say

did they?

When they said they

I just assumed it was

Tell you what,

they're gonna

Ooh!

They have nachos

How stupid is that?

I'm telling you, there's nothing

the new owners have the right to

Well, your lawyer reviewed it.

I don't know, Dave.

If I understood a lawyer,

I wouldn't need a lawyer.

(door opens)

Who wants to take

Ooh!

Not me.

Wha...

Come on! It's really cool.

I got our school

It asks the kids

about their personality type

and tells them what kind

Okay.

Well, I thought

See, that's the

that keeps kids

Yeah. You know, Grover thinks

but this will give him more...

Skills?

More great options.

Oh.

I'm fighting for my life here!

Yeah.

Calvin's right.

But, FYI, Grover's got skills.

You should see him take

He can stand still

Look, my lawyer said that

and the rights

I would've never allowed them to

Well, I'm taking

I'm suing their asses.

wait, I don't think

It says here that

are required to

Ooh. You are

since you happen

and licensed

I don't care

What will it cost?

Oh, Calvin,

I'd pay you

How much would you pay me?

(playing upbeat melody)

(door closes)

Hey, check it out!

I got a keytar.

Yeah. Uh,

are you having a post-breakup

"what am I doing with my life?"

No, no! This isn't

Although my skills

(riffing)

(holds high note)

Yeah, that's a no.

Come on, man. I always

and now's the

How 'bout when

Well, get used to it.

The new Marty's

starting

You know the Venus explorer

No.

Well, you know how Venus

No.

Okay.

You know

to collect samples

Okay, Marty, uh, what was it

that made you think

Anyway, I've been waiting

to pitch this idea at JPL.

And then going through

has given me

And I realized

now's the time

And guess what else.

I learned the beginning of

No, you didn't.

Hold on. Check it out.

(muttering)

you don't need to...

I-I don't...

(playing wrong notes)

Wait. Wait, wait.

(playing wrong notes)

Damn it. I lost it.

I just got the results of

Oh.

Uh-oh. Hold on.

"Independent. Self-starter.

Focused and methodical."

(sighs)

Look at the career they say

Lighthouse keeper.

Okay.

You know, on the plus side,

we can stop investing

(scoffs)

What's that?

Your career aptitude test

Ooh! Come on, NBA.

I'm not against playing

it wouldn't be my first choice.

Some great players got

so let's keep an open mind.

Dave!

The-the test said

It says that you're

That sounds like me.

Huh.

Looks like the fog's rolling in.

He's right!

Okay, so the inner balloon

and filled

that we could release as needed

controlling the buoyancy

So, as the balloon

so does our understanding

Wow.

Wow!

That is some great

I'm very impressed.

And so many balloon puns.

Yes, thank you.

I wanted to make sure

popped.

(chuckling)

Oh! Another!

Good, good stuff.

I love seeing that passion.

Mm-hmm.

Anyway, they moved up

for our progress report,

so we just got to...

Can-can we back up a sec?

It seems like

From what?

From my brilliantly

Right! No,

Um, so innovative.

Anyway, uh, we need to

as soon as possible.

All right. Uh, okay,

I-I see what

You're blowing me off.

After I went through

an original keytar score

Marty, I love your

I loved that score.

It was haunting.

Okay? You are...

But you're not gonna do

N-Not at this juncture, no.

O-Okay.

Look around you, Pat.

This room is filled

with some of the greatest

and we're not gonna keep

if we think it's pointless.

Fortune favors the bold.

And we are bold.

And we cannot-- nay,

nay--

we will not

be taking this anymore.

Who's with me?!

So are you saying

No, no, no, no.

but we won't be working.

PAT: Uh...

You-you can't stop working.

(quietly):

Okay, we will be working, but...

we just--

I'm kind of losing the

* *

Hi. I'm Ingrid Katay. I'll be

the owners of the Pit Stop.

It's so nice to meet

Uh, Dave,

what are you doing?

That's the enemy.

Calvin, this is

The whole point is

And you must be Mr. Butler.

How are you today, sir?

Wouldn't you like to know?

Good afternoon!

I'm Judge Fred Lampin,

and I'll be presiding

It's nice to meet you, Your

This is

Good afternoon,

And I must say, you look

You know,

and, I got to say,

I can't believe

Those shows make a mockery

That's why I tell my wife

Hey, Emelia.

Thanks for getting

It was a rough day.

No.

Come sit

Oh. Ah...

You don't want to sit

I get it.

I don't know

but I really

I applied the

so many times today,

my cortex

(laughs)

Listen,

I was really taken

with what you

Thank you. Thank you.

You know, I put so much thought

The thing that I find most

I don't care about Venus.

That's just

The way you spoke to Pat,

it was so... bold.

Hmm.

I've never seen

be so passionate.

They're all just really

(both laugh)

I can't even

I made eye contact

Ain't nobody else coming.

You inspired me, Marty.

To be bold, to take chances.

And now we're here.

Yeah.

Do you want to

Well, I...

Oh, all right.

That's not

That's not what

My lips weren't

your teeth were on them.

Your Honor, you've

It is right there

Clearly, the large sum

has given him

which he's now

You see?

I told you not to be

It's frivolous.

You're frivolous.

I-I think we need

to lower the

Your Honor, with

the sum my client

is not

He feels like

using his image

INGRID:

draw Your Honor's attention

Mr. Butler

all rights to

associated

Is this your

Yes, it is,

but you have

it was next to a very

So your legal argument

More like seduced,

Calvin, please, I'm

Let me do my job.

But you're

Well, you're not

Your Honor,

Judge, can I see you

I don't have chambers.

There's a dentist

Okay, Your Honor,

then I'll say this in

This caricature

It looks nothing like me.

I agree.

And if it looks

by definition,

CALVIN:

Wait a minute.

I'm inclined to agree.

And combined with

it's an easy decision

of Calvin's Pitstop to

and image.

I think we're done here.

Wait... No,

I appeal!

I'm taking this to the top.

You mean the Planet Fitness

I don't like her.

You know, sometimes

I'm even still

Nobody cared about my idea.

Except Emelia.

But then, that

You know what

Hmm?

Man, Prince played keytar.

Did he turn women off?

Please, please, please!

Gemma, is it really necessary

that everyone take this test?

Uh, yes, because you took it,

and it said that

in music and teaching.

It nailed you.

So I'm going to keep

until I can prove

And I'm done.

Okay, come on, be wrong,

Aerospace engineer.

Damn it!

I mean, technically,

Oh, spare me,

Huh? Uh, well,

...mushroom farmer.

You did?

No, you didn't.

No, uh...

Yeah, you're right.

Oh, crap.

Gemma, you can't

Worst case scenario,

Grover's a

That's a

He'd be alone

flipping

Well, what happened

letting kids be

Oh, please, that's for

I-I don't want

Calvin, come on.

You wouldn't

so at least let me help you

work through your feelings.

Now,

this is called

let's expose ourselves.

Say what?

Calvin, what

that's so upsetting?

Everything.

All right, can you be

I used to walk into this room,

and I was the most

Everybody needed me.

(laughs mockingly)

Welcome to Calvin's.

Can I offer you an IPA?

Calvin, they are

They're celebrating you.

This place is called

it is a name

trusts and loves.

And now you'll

I mean, maybe

that you

but isn't it amazing

just to be

I'm not dead, Dave.

That's it. I'm leaving.

Okay, no, wait, just...

As a therapist, I've never said

I think you should have a beer.

Hey, buddy.

SpongeBob.

Of course.

Can we talk

Yeah, sure.

I don't want you

I'm going to be disappointed

if you follow

No matter what you become,

the only thing that matters

Is this about that career test?

Yeah.

And even if you

from the olden days

was, like, still a thing,

uh...

Your dad and I will support you.

Mom, I have to

I just filled in random

You did? Why?

Well, you made us

at lunch. It was cutting

Oh, thank God you're

No, Mom, I told you,

I'm going to the NBA.

Ooh, nothing but net.

Oh, I love that sweet,

See, this place

Yeah, it's okay.

And I guess a beer

no matter how

Here you go, Calvin.

Two Sticky

On the house.

Why?

Come on, man. You're a legend.

You used to fix

Oh, yeah.

Cheetah seat covers,

You got it.

I made a grip off his dad.

Still runs great. You hungry?

How about a Calvin's Favorite?

Okay, you know what?

Here's the thing

It's not Calvin's favorite.

If you're going to make

it should be something

Like a gas station hot dog.

Ah.

Let me talk to the chef.

Maybe he could put a spin on it.

Okay, that's what

You know,

would be

Nobody's talking

Uh, Calvin?

Yeah?

We just want to say

Well, you know,

it's not my place, per se, but,

uh...

You know, it wouldn't

so, I guess you can

Hey, everybody,

a toast to the original Calvin.

(crowd cheers)

I think my work

Uh, can I get a selfie?

Sure.

You know... (sighs)

...I don't

but, uh, hey, everybody,

get out your phones.

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