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1
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(laughing) Bro!
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This steakhouse for my bachelor
3
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We got a bourbon tasting,
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I'm telling y'all,
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there's a dude in the men's
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Okay, well,
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because I don't want to pay
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Have fun with
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Us ladies will be right here
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Well, all right, girls,
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And enjoy these nights
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Once you have babies,
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CALVIN:
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Making you boys was fun as hell.
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But raising y'all, now, that's
16
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What are we
17
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Just internalize it.
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Marty, you haven't told
19
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not to have kids?
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Well, not in so many words.
21
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Or any words.
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Come on, Marty.
23
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Look, Necie is about
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with a woman
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six years' worth of
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I know. You're right.
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I'll tell them.
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Hey, you know what?
29
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Maybe they'll be so
30
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it won't even affect them.
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Oh, you think so?
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Hell nah. Barely believed it
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* Welcome to the block,
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* Welcome to the hood. *
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Well, I'm looking good,
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and... (sniffs)
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and I'm smelling good.
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I am so excited for tonight.
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Yeah, about that.
40
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Please keep in mind that tonight
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Yeah, of course I know that.
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Do you?
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What are you getting at?
44
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I'm just saying, you don't
45
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have a great history
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(clears throat)
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I don't know what
48
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Dave, Kevin's bachelor party
49
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Matthew's in New Orleans?
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Gary's bachelor party
51
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in Las Vegas and ended in jail?
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It was a detention cell
53
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I'm just saying, these events
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That's why your friends
55
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Did they?
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The Douche.
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This is supposed to be
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not an episode of Entourage.
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I promise you,
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There will be no a-douche.
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What's a douche?
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(stammering)
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It's nothing. Dave, stop.
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It's used to...
65
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Never mind. I'll just go
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Knock, knock.
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(chuckles) Hey.
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Well, that settles that.
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(clears throat)
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Uh, can I talk
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Well, can't it wait until
72
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No, because I might chicken out.
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So, you know how Necie
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modern couple
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that don't conform
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Is one of those outdated norms
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(chuckles nervously, stammers)
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So, Necie and I discussed
79
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and...
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we realized
81
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in our lives to feel complete.
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It's the decision
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and we hope
84
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You... So...
85
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Okay.
86
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So, how's that landing
87
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Oh, I didn't know
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Thanks for
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That's it?
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Oh, I do have
91
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You boys have fun tonight.
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We will.
93
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Uh, you too, Mama.
94
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Thanks. Thanks for being
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All right, now. Okay.
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Babe, are you sure
97
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Would you look at this mirror.
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Okay, Tina, that's not
99
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You know, I'm gonna get my
100
00:04:51,511 --> 00:04:52,681
Oh, damn.
101
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Ooh, Calvin, listen.
102
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Let me tell you-- Oh.
103
00:05:01,631 --> 00:05:02,901
Oh, sorry. No, you go.
104
00:05:03,101 --> 00:05:04,141
No, you go. Okay.
105
00:05:04,341 --> 00:05:05,371
Okay, um...
106
00:05:05,571 --> 00:05:07,071
Can you keep an eye
107
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He's not gonna try
108
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He might.
109
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Bachelor parties are
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When he gets around alcohol
111
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he turns into...
112
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There's no nice way
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Huh. Okay, well,
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Marty just told us that he and
115
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Oh, my God.
116
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Well, I was disappointed,
117
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But Tina?
118
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Did she scream?
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Ha! I wish.
120
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Tina's got three stages
121
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One, she gets really quiet.
122
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And three, she laughs at
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Hey, girl!
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You ready to get
125
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Stage two?
126
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And hopefully we hold there.
127
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At least I know my house
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(chuckling):
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(sighs) We have ants.
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(laughs loudly)
131
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(hip-hop music playing)
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Whoa, whoa.
133
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Wh-What happened to
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The limo didn't
135
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That was the point, Trey.
136
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Oh, check it out.
137
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It's about to be insane!
138
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You're welcome.
139
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Trey, this bus better be taking
140
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It is.
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a classy bourbon tasting.
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Yes.
143
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Well, now I got to
144
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Oh. Come on, man.
145
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I'll tell you, if these seats
146
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Dave, are you okay?
147
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Yeah, I'm fine. Fine.
148
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What are you doing, man?
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A party bus.
150
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Oh, boy.
151
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Hey, Necie, what's up?
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This is my friend Bree.
153
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Hi. So nice to meet you.
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Oh, nice to meet you.
155
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So, Necie...
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Huh?
157
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What?
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Mm.
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Oh, is that right?
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Anyways, Necie,
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Have you ever
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in the store and said,
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but later you think,
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So you go back to the store,
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the boots are gone, and now
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but you're too old
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I'm sorry, what is the question?
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Well, I was trying to ask...
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Okay, ready for the
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Oh, thank God. Bree,
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Oh, I don't have to go...
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You know what?
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Man, you know what?
174
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Yeah, man.
175
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Whoa! Okay, then.
176
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Uh, why is this pole warm?
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Wait a minute.
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No, man.
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The heater pole is a feature.
180
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I'm gonna need
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I got you. (muttering)
182
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What?
183
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This thing is full
184
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Oh, boy.
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(Trey laughing)
186
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What are you doing, Trey?
187
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Jell-O shots?
188
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I guess one won't hurt.
189
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ALL:
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All right.
191
00:08:52,721 --> 00:08:55,951
I think someone put
192
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You know, things went
193
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I'm actually in a
194
00:09:02,941 --> 00:09:05,811
Hey, Dave? Dave, I thought
195
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Yes, one green shot.
196
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This must be Jell-O, because
197
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Let's go, boys!
198
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(laughing)
199
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Marty, I didn't think
200
00:09:23,561 --> 00:09:27,181
But there's a Snorlax
201
00:09:28,521 --> 00:09:31,901
Okay, okay, use your lucky
202
00:09:32,101 --> 00:09:34,161
but don't let my brother
203
00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:36,011
Hey, what's up?
204
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BOTH:
205
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Sports.
206
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Okay. Yeah.
207
00:09:44,531 --> 00:09:46,891
Ah, what a night.
208
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Out on the town
209
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enjoying steaks,
210
00:09:52,621 --> 00:09:55,561
Manly men manning it up.
211
00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:58,331
(inhales, coughs loudly)
212
00:09:58,531 --> 00:10:01,281
Daddy! Help me,
213
00:10:02,181 --> 00:10:03,551
Boy, it's not even lit.
214
00:10:04,821 --> 00:10:06,571
But it's about to be!
215
00:10:06,771 --> 00:10:09,591
(grunting rhythmically)
216
00:10:12,491 --> 00:10:14,961
Marty, your friend is so cool.
217
00:10:16,931 --> 00:10:19,921
Gentlemen, who here has
218
00:10:20,121 --> 00:10:23,661
Oh, uh, Montez and I
219
00:10:23,861 --> 00:10:26,641
M-Montez, where are you at?
220
00:10:28,241 --> 00:10:30,531
Dave, Dave, would you
221
00:10:30,731 --> 00:10:32,601
Hmm. Uh-oh.
222
00:10:32,801 --> 00:10:34,451
Dad's mad.
223
00:10:35,481 --> 00:10:39,401
Now, the reason we use snifters
224
00:10:39,601 --> 00:10:41,611
And if you give it
225
00:10:41,811 --> 00:10:43,191
Mmm!
226
00:10:46,801 --> 00:10:49,231
My tummy is a-toasty.
227
00:10:50,531 --> 00:10:52,421
Maybe I should just go ahead
228
00:10:52,621 --> 00:10:54,121
Yeah, yeah.
229
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:58,091
Simone, tomahawk steaks
230
00:10:58,291 --> 00:11:00,291
Still mooin'.
231
00:11:00,491 --> 00:11:01,361
Moo!
232
00:11:01,561 --> 00:11:02,801
Yeah, Derek!
233
00:11:03,001 --> 00:11:05,281
Uh, no, no, no. No mooing.
234
00:11:06,011 --> 00:11:07,271
Simone, I don't want
235
00:11:07,471 --> 00:11:08,431
I want it well-done.
236
00:11:08,631 --> 00:11:10,741
All right?
237
00:11:10,941 --> 00:11:12,301
Dead.
238
00:11:12,501 --> 00:11:15,691
Only thing red I want to see
239
00:11:17,261 --> 00:11:20,651
Dudes, what are we doing?
240
00:11:20,851 --> 00:11:23,121
Marty is about to get married,
241
00:11:23,321 --> 00:11:25,401
like a bunch of babies
242
00:11:26,841 --> 00:11:27,951
ALL:
243
00:11:28,151 --> 00:11:30,411
(dance music playing)
244
00:11:34,011 --> 00:11:35,861
What is going on?
245
00:11:36,061 --> 00:11:37,531
Trey, is there a club
246
00:11:37,731 --> 00:11:39,101
Oh, my God.
247
00:11:39,301 --> 00:11:41,081
I'm just as shocked
248
00:11:43,391 --> 00:11:46,671
The bachelor party gods
249
00:11:46,871 --> 00:11:48,441
And they have said,
250
00:11:48,641 --> 00:11:50,031
"Let it be lit."
251
00:11:50,891 --> 00:11:52,591
No, no, Dave, Dave...
252
00:11:53,131 --> 00:11:54,511
And so it was!
253
00:11:54,711 --> 00:11:55,911
(Calvin groans)
254
00:11:56,111 --> 00:11:57,051
Trey, don't. No, no.
255
00:11:57,251 --> 00:11:58,421
Okay. Listen, guys,
256
00:11:58,621 --> 00:11:59,651
I got to go in there
257
00:11:59,851 --> 00:12:01,221
I promised Gemma
258
00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:04,241
go off the deep end.
259
00:12:07,741 --> 00:12:10,601
Yo, it's been a minute
260
00:12:10,801 --> 00:12:13,271
Well, don't worry about Pops.
261
00:12:13,471 --> 00:12:14,871
(air horn blowing)
262
00:12:15,071 --> 00:12:16,601
Uh-uh, no, no, no.
263
00:12:16,801 --> 00:12:19,251
He's on his own.
264
00:12:23,061 --> 00:12:24,911
So, Bree seems nice.
265
00:12:25,111 --> 00:12:26,641
Who?
266
00:12:26,851 --> 00:12:28,511
Necie's friend.
267
00:12:28,711 --> 00:12:30,681
Oh, yeah, yeah. Great, great.
268
00:12:30,881 --> 00:12:34,491
Oh, you know,
269
00:12:34,691 --> 00:12:36,761
she could get us house seats
270
00:12:36,961 --> 00:12:39,191
Oh, that'd be so fun, right?
271
00:12:39,391 --> 00:12:41,731
I haven't been to New York
272
00:12:41,931 --> 00:12:43,001
Mmm.
273
00:12:43,201 --> 00:12:45,131
Not to brag,
274
00:12:45,331 --> 00:12:48,351
I represented
275
00:12:51,591 --> 00:12:53,421
Tina?
276
00:12:55,121 --> 00:12:56,831
Oh, crap.
277
00:12:57,831 --> 00:13:00,451
Isn't this great, Bree?
278
00:13:00,651 --> 00:13:03,181
I can't remember
279
00:13:03,381 --> 00:13:05,901
(groaning):
280
00:13:07,441 --> 00:13:10,661
You know, you should
281
00:13:10,861 --> 00:13:12,121
Miss Tina?
282
00:13:12,321 --> 00:13:16,541
(grunts) I'm so glad we're
283
00:13:26,651 --> 00:13:27,911
(clinking)
284
00:13:28,111 --> 00:13:29,741
You know what?
285
00:13:29,941 --> 00:13:33,401
(dance music playing)
286
00:13:34,861 --> 00:13:38,431
Dudes, you have got
287
00:13:39,671 --> 00:13:41,851
Dave, where'd you
288
00:13:42,051 --> 00:13:44,191
Hmm? Oh, it's a crown.
289
00:13:44,391 --> 00:13:46,671
I'm royalty in there.
290
00:13:48,241 --> 00:13:49,431
Derek, come on.
291
00:13:49,631 --> 00:13:51,251
Okay, but don't lose me.
292
00:13:52,211 --> 00:13:54,031
MALCOLM: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
293
00:13:54,231 --> 00:13:55,701
Come on. Look,
294
00:13:55,901 --> 00:13:59,641
Wait, look. My pops is trying
295
00:13:59,841 --> 00:14:01,541
You're right. Sorry.
296
00:14:01,741 --> 00:14:03,081
Uh, Derek, sit down.
297
00:14:03,281 --> 00:14:06,781
Show a little respect.
298
00:14:06,981 --> 00:14:08,711
Thank you, Dave.
299
00:14:08,911 --> 00:14:13,221
Uh, I'd like to propose
300
00:14:13,421 --> 00:14:14,691
Hey.
301
00:14:14,891 --> 00:14:16,891
I mean, it seems like
302
00:14:17,091 --> 00:14:18,961
in my arms
303
00:14:19,161 --> 00:14:21,661
Next thing you know,
304
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,431
on my shoulders at the zoo,
305
00:14:23,631 --> 00:14:26,931
just going on and on
306
00:14:27,131 --> 00:14:29,881
while your snow cone
307
00:14:31,321 --> 00:14:33,341
But I just let it drip
308
00:14:33,541 --> 00:14:36,121
wanted you to stop
309
00:14:37,231 --> 00:14:40,411
The amount of joy that you
310
00:14:40,611 --> 00:14:42,211
it's just been amazing.
311
00:14:42,411 --> 00:14:45,281
The Christmas mornings,
312
00:14:45,481 --> 00:14:47,271
even the broken arms.
313
00:14:50,071 --> 00:14:52,911
I wouldn't change one minute
314
00:14:53,911 --> 00:14:55,491
Now you're getting married.
315
00:14:55,691 --> 00:14:57,131
(chuckles)
316
00:14:57,331 --> 00:14:59,601
That means I got to let you go.
317
00:14:59,801 --> 00:15:01,931
So...
318
00:15:02,131 --> 00:15:03,701
To my baby boy Marty.
319
00:15:03,901 --> 00:15:05,641
I love you, son.
320
00:15:05,841 --> 00:15:08,221
TREY:
321
00:15:09,791 --> 00:15:11,491
I want babies!
322
00:15:15,131 --> 00:15:18,651
I want snow cone juice
323
00:15:18,851 --> 00:15:20,871
I want babies so bad.
324
00:15:24,571 --> 00:15:26,461
Mmm.
325
00:15:26,661 --> 00:15:27,991
What's that scent?
326
00:15:28,191 --> 00:15:30,131
Huh, I think it's lavender.
327
00:15:30,331 --> 00:15:33,421
Ooh, I think you're right.
328
00:15:34,581 --> 00:15:38,001
While we're on the subject...
329
00:15:38,201 --> 00:15:39,851
Why do you hate kids?
330
00:15:40,921 --> 00:15:42,711
What? I love kids.
331
00:15:42,911 --> 00:15:44,881
I'm godmother
332
00:15:45,081 --> 00:15:46,911
Who the hell is Bree?
333
00:15:47,111 --> 00:15:50,021
The woman you kicked off
334
00:15:50,221 --> 00:15:51,481
Oh.
335
00:15:51,681 --> 00:15:54,571
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
336
00:15:56,571 --> 00:16:00,561
I mean, what is it?
337
00:16:00,761 --> 00:16:02,091
Traveling?
338
00:16:02,291 --> 00:16:04,951
Do you have a bad relationship
339
00:16:06,651 --> 00:16:07,671
I love my mother.
340
00:16:07,871 --> 00:16:11,291
I think we'll
341
00:16:13,591 --> 00:16:16,111
Is it your body?
342
00:16:16,311 --> 00:16:18,091
I can carry the baby.
343
00:16:18,961 --> 00:16:22,461
My doctor says I have the uterus
344
00:16:26,601 --> 00:16:28,551
Miss Tina... (chuckles)
345
00:16:28,751 --> 00:16:31,691
there are so many things
346
00:16:31,891 --> 00:16:35,511
Being a mother just doesn't
347
00:16:37,651 --> 00:16:40,531
I just don't get it.
348
00:16:40,731 --> 00:16:43,801
How could you not want
349
00:16:44,001 --> 00:16:46,971
It's just who I am.
350
00:16:47,171 --> 00:16:49,921
How could you not want
351
00:16:50,931 --> 00:16:52,741
Come on now,
352
00:16:52,941 --> 00:16:55,331
Mm, they both hurt.
353
00:16:56,901 --> 00:16:59,521
Tell me about it.
354
00:16:59,721 --> 00:17:01,891
But children, they-they bring
355
00:17:02,091 --> 00:17:04,461
so much laughter and-and joy.
356
00:17:04,661 --> 00:17:07,861
Marty brings me so much
357
00:17:08,061 --> 00:17:10,401
Yeah, okay,
358
00:17:10,601 --> 00:17:11,761
We love each other,
359
00:17:11,961 --> 00:17:15,231
and we're happy
360
00:17:15,431 --> 00:17:18,121
even if it's not the choice
361
00:17:21,361 --> 00:17:22,591
You're right.
362
00:17:24,061 --> 00:17:26,711
I've been putting
363
00:17:26,911 --> 00:17:28,531
and that's not fair.
364
00:17:29,931 --> 00:17:31,821
I guess I was just
365
00:17:32,021 --> 00:17:33,951
when Marty told us.
366
00:17:34,151 --> 00:17:36,821
He always talked
367
00:17:37,021 --> 00:17:37,991
Really?
368
00:17:38,191 --> 00:17:40,331
Look around.
369
00:17:40,531 --> 00:17:42,961
I've been trying to throw
370
00:17:43,161 --> 00:17:44,631
but Marty would
371
00:17:44,831 --> 00:17:47,451
He says,
372
00:17:50,521 --> 00:17:52,951
He wanted to save them
373
00:17:53,891 --> 00:17:58,261
I guess, um, this news
374
00:17:59,861 --> 00:18:01,881
Marty never told me that.
375
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:05,071
You know,
376
00:18:06,371 --> 00:18:08,351
I don't know if
377
00:18:08,551 --> 00:18:10,711
I've been a little crazy
378
00:18:14,181 --> 00:18:15,591
Will you forgive me?
379
00:18:15,791 --> 00:18:16,831
(sighs)
380
00:18:17,031 --> 00:18:18,531
(chuckles)
381
00:18:18,731 --> 00:18:20,471
No, Tina, stop.
382
00:18:20,671 --> 00:18:24,221
Oh, you're hugging. Phew.
383
00:18:27,161 --> 00:18:30,611
* *
384
00:18:30,811 --> 00:18:32,941
Hey, uh, Marty.
385
00:18:33,141 --> 00:18:34,751
The things I said
386
00:18:34,951 --> 00:18:36,211
Listen, I wasn't
387
00:18:36,411 --> 00:18:38,481
No, it's-it's okay, Dad.
388
00:18:38,681 --> 00:18:39,821
Okay.
389
00:18:40,021 --> 00:18:41,291
That was my favorite thing
390
00:18:41,491 --> 00:18:43,441
Even though it was
391
00:18:44,741 --> 00:18:46,791
Really?
392
00:18:46,991 --> 00:18:48,231
Marty hated penguins.
393
00:18:48,431 --> 00:18:50,461
(sighs)
394
00:18:50,661 --> 00:18:51,731
They still do.
395
00:18:51,931 --> 00:18:53,471
But...
396
00:18:53,671 --> 00:18:56,401
you're still the best dad
397
00:18:56,601 --> 00:18:58,001
And hearing how much
398
00:18:58,201 --> 00:19:01,141
meant to you,
399
00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:02,941
Are you sure?
400
00:19:03,141 --> 00:19:04,611
Because I feel like
401
00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:06,741
I should've just kept
402
00:19:06,941 --> 00:19:09,211
No, I'm sure.
403
00:19:09,411 --> 00:19:11,181
You know, I told myself
404
00:19:11,381 --> 00:19:14,321
but I was lying
405
00:19:14,521 --> 00:19:16,071
and to Necie.
406
00:19:17,241 --> 00:19:19,961
So... who cried at Six Flags?
407
00:19:20,161 --> 00:19:21,431
That was you, right?
408
00:19:21,631 --> 00:19:23,801
Yup, yup, that was me.
409
00:19:24,001 --> 00:19:25,431
Yeah, that was
410
00:19:25,631 --> 00:19:27,231
Remember he was scared
411
00:19:27,431 --> 00:19:29,731
No, you pretended
412
00:19:29,931 --> 00:19:31,271
(laughter)
413
00:19:31,471 --> 00:19:33,101
And he cried, he was crying.
414
00:19:33,311 --> 00:19:35,241
"Daddy, get me out of here."
415
00:19:35,441 --> 00:19:37,681
Oh, the guys are here.
416
00:19:37,881 --> 00:19:40,881
Derek, me, you,
417
00:19:41,081 --> 00:19:42,911
next weekend.
418
00:19:43,111 --> 00:19:45,201
blow up my DMs,
419
00:19:49,071 --> 00:19:51,191
I see you met
420
00:19:51,391 --> 00:19:52,161
Yup.
421
00:19:52,361 --> 00:19:54,411
Not a fan.
422
00:19:55,781 --> 00:19:58,101
Ooh. Okay, babe,
423
00:19:58,301 --> 00:19:59,431
you are not
424
00:19:59,631 --> 00:20:01,431
but Necie and I
425
00:20:01,631 --> 00:20:04,641
I'm actually okay
426
00:20:04,841 --> 00:20:06,441
Well, I got news for you.
427
00:20:06,641 --> 00:20:09,011
Marty actually
428
00:20:09,211 --> 00:20:10,811
He does?
429
00:20:11,011 --> 00:20:12,681
Hmm.
430
00:20:12,881 --> 00:20:16,581
Uh-oh.
431
00:20:16,781 --> 00:20:18,251
Necie, hey.
432
00:20:18,451 --> 00:20:19,481
Hey.
433
00:20:19,681 --> 00:20:20,791
You guys have fun?
434
00:20:20,991 --> 00:20:23,091
Yeah, yeah. You?
435
00:20:23,291 --> 00:20:25,461
Yeah, yeah.
436
00:20:25,661 --> 00:20:28,591
Look, I think
437
00:20:28,791 --> 00:20:31,711
Yeah, I was just about
438
00:20:32,581 --> 00:20:34,001
DAVE:
439
00:20:34,201 --> 00:20:36,271
Oh, God, here he comes.
440
00:20:36,471 --> 00:20:39,441
Dudes, dudes.
441
00:20:39,641 --> 00:20:41,371
I thought we were gonna go out
442
00:20:41,571 --> 00:20:43,481
Dave, come on,
443
00:20:43,681 --> 00:20:46,391
Let's go home, buddy. Come on.
444
00:20:47,561 --> 00:20:49,951
Hey, Derek, check this out.
445
00:20:50,151 --> 00:20:52,701
Smokeshow.
446
00:21:02,981 --> 00:21:06,031
Captioning sponsored by
447
00:21:06,231 --> 00:21:08,631
and TOYOTA.
448
00:21:08,831 --> 00:21:12,221
Captioned by26009
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