Original subtitles

So, Dad, how's it feel

I'm not retired,

Isn't that the definition

Sure, I sold the Pit Stop,

but I got a lot of irons

Mark Cuban sold his company.

(chuckles)

No, because he owns

Yeah, and, like,

And like a fool,

(laughs)

Oh, that's funny.

(laughs)

You know, I just had

Oh, she's been thinking

Mm-hmm.

Maybe, Calvin,

maybe now is a good time

to go on a vacation.

Oh, so much planning

Remember when we didn't

and you said we will

Well, now we have the money,

and you don't have to worry

with someone else.

She got him.

So now would be

for us to take that

but always dreamed of.

Madrid.

She thinking

Imagine long strolls

wine and tapas at sunset.

I do like small plates.

Yeah, and how about

I do like hotel beds.

Well, let's do it.

Definitely.

Definitely.

But not right now.

You know,

I started cleaning out

that's a whole thing,

So, you know.

Come on, Calvin,

We just went to San Diego.

We took a two-hour

so you guys could go to that

(laughs)

(imitating hydraulics)

(laughter)

Come on, babe, we just

What if something happened

Like what, they lose a tooth?

They're grown-ass men.

And that Pit Stop is not

You know, I have been

just to have you

and you know what,

Okay, Tina...

Hey, come on, Pop.

Mom supported your dream

for 30 years.

Now it's your turn

But I hate traveling.

It's so expensive,

there's always

and there's never anything

They always promise

but it's only Sbarro's.

Daddy.

You got to do it.

While you still can.

How old do you think I am?

Ah, goodness.

Your mother was really excited

about this trip idea,

Yeah, and I guarantee

pulled up on her computer.

MARTY:

Yeah.

Tina, baby?

Let's go eat

Oh, baby, mmm-mmm-mmm.

Thank you!

Okay, our flight leaves

or as they say in España,

* Welcome to the block,

* Welcome to the hood. *

("Shave and a Haircut"

BOTH:

Oh, he's gonna be mad

that we're playing a board game

Hey!

We were thinking,

that maybe we would...

You guys playing Scrabble

You challenge every word, Dave.

It is my right, Malcolm.

Anyway, we thought

if we got your dad a present

for selling the shop.

What if we got him

Or is that too obvious?

GEMMA:

What if we got them

It could be waiting for them in

Hmm, Dad's not too into

I can hear him now.

"What am I, some kind of

You know, Pop did mention

We could finish

Oh.

We could clean it out

for him to work

A secret reno

How HGTV of us.

If I've said it once,

checking a bag is

You've said it a hundred times.

You remember when

and they lost my luggage?

I had to flip my drawers

for a week.

Okay...

are we visiting Spain

Well, I need nine

and eight nighttime looks.

(chuckles)

Two pairs of shorts,

and ten pairs of drawers

MAN:

Oh, good.

Are you checking

Well, uh, my wife is.

I know better than

from my belongings.

Yeah, here we go.

Ma'am,

your bag is three pounds

Really, Ronnie? I mean,

That's literally my job.

Okay, fine, I'll just

out of my bag

She couldn't see this coming?

All right, then.

I'll just take a few things

Okay, oh. Ooh, ooh, ooh.

What?

They touched the floor!

Calvin, my underwear touched

Babe, babe, you are literally

at the airport.

Oh, my God. Ugh!

Tina...

Tina-- Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Okay. All right.

Tina, Tina...

All right, I'm

now, in 15 hours

under string lights, okay?

Yeah. I like string lights.

Okay.

Here we go.

All right, um,

Oh, yeah, sure.

Whew, look at that.

So light.

Two pounds over.

Damn it, Ronnie, I swear,

Ronnie think I'm playing.

Everything in here is junk.

Uh, I'm sorry, you're calling

of Mighty Joe Young junk?

(laughs)

You know, this is the part

where they hire somebody

and do all this work for them.

Oh, that's a great idea.

I can call one of those

You guys move all this junk

we can go get brunch,

all this stuff will be gone.

Wait a minute.

I am.

(scanner beeps)

(beep)

to check your carry-on.

Well, thank you for asking,

The flight is overbooked.

There's no more room

Well, I'll-I'll just stick it

Babe, just give her the bag

Please.

Yeah.

Okay.

Go. It's about to be some

(beep)

Oh, we're gonna need

Look at this beautiful

You know, calling

while we got brunch

(laughs)

Some of us didn't see

until all the biscuits

Oh, wow, it is

Okay, now the best man caves

Now, what are we thinking?

Oh, actually, you know

Swords.

Or, or, instead of swords,

maybe it could be

Uh, Dad, where is

It's in the driveway,

No, it's not.

What?

The smoker's not here.

Maybe they moved it

easier access to the trash.

No, it's gone.

Maybe they thought

You did put those piles

You watched us move it all,

You didn't say any of that.

Hey, man.

Marty, don't you think

a little more clear?

Well, David, don't you think

you should have put the trash

from Dad's most prized

Don't put this on me!

(phone ringing)

Oh, no, that's Mama.

Don't answer it.

Oh, there's no way

(phone ringing)

Oh, it's a video call.

I have to, it's Mommy.

No, Marty, don't...

Hi, Mommy.

What, your brother's sending me

Oh, no, no, I meant to hit

I-I just wanted y'all to see

on a actual plane.

Hey!

The Butlers are

Hey, where are y'all?

Uh, nowhere.

Yeah, no, we was out here

Shh! You know what, y'all

Have a great flight.

He's gonna kill us.

Okay.

You know what, I'll just--

I'll just put it right up

No problem.

Yeah, all right.

We did it.

I am so excited.

Excuse me. Sorry.

Oh.

You got it, amigo.

Yes.

All right. Good?

Here we go.

Oh, you have a dog.

Oh. Oh, okay.

TINA:

Okay.

Where the hell

You know,

this is my seat.

My-my seat comes

Your dog is in my leg space.

You don't like dogs?

I like dogs fine.

Well, you can pet him

I don't like.

You need to take your seats now

so we can have

Sherlock, sit.

I can't take my seat because,

I have nowhere

because Shaggy here

with Scooby-Doo.

This man does not

(all booing)

Dog-ophobe!

No, no, no, he loves dogs.

He cried at Marley & Me.

You know what?

then somebody switch seats

TINA: Yeah.

That's what I thought.

Sir, I need you

We can't push away from the gate

WOMAN:

Oh, no. Oh, you know what?

I'll sit down

Uh-uh. That bag was tagged

It's in the system.

Well, just untag it.

It doesn't work like that.

Once it's tagged,

We're going to have

And that will cause a delay.

Well...

I-I... I am not a Karen.

You know what?

I don't...

It's already

You're supposed

No, I will not hold

(scoffs)

Well, I guess we're buying

The old one was getting

Uh, Gemma, Gemma, Gemma,

one does not simply

Yeah, that thing had 20 years

That's why

Even the broccoli he cooked

It's gonna ruin his vacation

What the hell is wrong

Okay, we are not

They are probably having the

VIRGINIA:

We appreciate your patience

This is on you, dog hater.

I love dogs, lady.

I also love

I just don't want 'em

Due to the delay...

...our flight crew has gone over

We are currently looking

Oh, wait. No!

Y-You can work

I-I mean, come on. Doctors do

Y'all can push

VIRGINIA:

from the recently-canceled

Due to our combining

and offering $2,000 to any

Did you hear that, baby?

$2,000.

You're not really thinking

I mean, Tina,

we can get out of this hellhole

I mean, maybe

trying to tell us something.

It's the universe telling me

You know, I'm going to go get

And this is the same

Same model.

This is so clean.

Okay, guys, we're never going

I agree.

So I think we should

and blame Dave.

GEMMA:

Mm-hmm.

Let's blame him.

Okay.

Okay, you know what?

How about we pin it on Grover?

There's no way my dad's gonna

Yeah.

None of you are

If you had watched HGTV,

that this is the moment

And then

they get the perfect

We're going

Wait. Will that work?

Yes, it'll work.

Gemma, go get

Marty, get a buttload

we're going

No one sleeps until

and smells fantastic!

Excuse me.

I knew it. I knew.

$2,000 was just

Hold on, baby. Just...

I have had enough, okay?

Let's just go home.

This has been

Tina, it has been.

But that's why

where, I assume,

Really, babe?

Are you sure, Calvin?

Yeah, well,

and it said,

(laughs softly)

Mmm. Oh, uh,

my man, there's not a purse

Yeah.

(barks)

* *

Aah!

* *

Grease it up, boy!

* *

(glass breaking,

* *

Wow. We did

That thing

Now for the final test.

Grover?!

* *

What does this asparagus

* *

Ribs?

(all cheering)

(romantic guitar music playing)

Mmm. Babe, you would think

that the tiny portions would

but I have never eaten so much

(laughs)

Ooh. Is it too late

You know, you look beautiful

Oh.

And I love you in that shirt.

And I look forward

(both laughing)

You know,

I've always been worried

working so hard.

I... I never took the time

But...

traveling the world

drinking good wine and eating

(laughs)

This.

This is what I want.

Well, this

Well, it took

I finally got my boyfriend back.

Mmm. Mwah.

Well, maybe I like

Well, you're going to really

'cause

Hmm.

I like Fiji.

'Cause we won't need

* *

ALL:

Oh, my.

Well, all right!

(laughs)

Yeah. We wanted to do something

to say congratulations

Yeah, congrats, Pop. Now you can

Yeah, and just not

Y'all did all of this

There was a lot of junk in here.

Oh, girl, we know.

(laughing): Yeah.

Thank you. Thank you, guys.

we're glad you like it, and,

exactly where you thought

totally unchanged,

Pull-pull it back, Dave.

Pull it back, pull it back.

MALCOLM:

Yeah. Well, there's my baby.

I'm sure gonna miss her.

DAVE:

What's that now?

Yeah. I won't be needing

I'm into wood grilling now.

Yeah. that's how

(Calvin laughs)

A la brasa es delicioso.

(Tina laughs)

I'll just call one

to haul it away.

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