Original subtitles

Next question, Yamada.

What's the capital of the United States?

New York...?

Correct.

I have a question, Miss.

What is it?

What's New York's capital?

Well...

Washington D.C.?

You're naughty, Yamada.

I can't restrain myself any longer, Miss.

Your mommy will hear us.

I don't care.

1 love you, Miss. I want you.

Have you always fantasized about this?

Yes!

I'm coming in!

Here I come!

Yamada, you're incredible.

Am I? Really?

I'm so glad...

I'm so glad that I came here.

Here I come again.

Miss, I'm coming...

Amazing!

Oh, good heavens...

Sorry, Miss! I'm unprotected!

"Unprotected Sex Prohibited 1 million yen fine"

Don't worry.

I won't tell anybody.

Miss!

If you'd been my tutor, 1 would have been accepted by a university.

Life is a learning process.

Come back again.

Hello, welcome.

What would you like?

An Orange Mocha Frappuccino.

Coming right up.

No, wait a minute...

An Iced Caramel Macchiato instead.

One Iced Caramel Macchiato.

Hello? Oh, it's you, Boss.

I'm at the meeting place.

You're at the table by the door? Where?

But this is Chiaki Cafe though.

What? You're at Naomi Cafe?

Where is Naomi Cafe?

Bad transmission. I can't hear you.

Oh, no! I'm sorry!

Sorry! Are you okay?

No, don't wipe me with that rag!

Come this way.

Hello? I just tripped and fell over.

No! He's dead!

Cellular photo function!

She's hit!

Hello, are you okay?

Hello?

Hello?

Are you all right?

I'm fine.

Fine...? You're bleeding though.

I'll call an ambulance...

Miss, wait!

Your bag!

Don't forget this.

You don't look okay...

What's wrong?

Why did you have to kill him anyway?

What are you looking for?

- A finger. - What?

A cylinder, the size of a finger.

That woman took it with her.

What do you mean?

The silver cylinder, right?

I thought it was hers. I put it in her bag.

Why did you do such a thing?

1 don' t know.

You're my old classmate so I'm letting you use my cafe.

Do me a favor. Don't mess up my cafe any more, OK?

Okay...

Not any more.

Hello? Sachiko?

Sachiko, what's going on?

I'm not kind, okay?

I'm not kind, goddamn it!

Where am I?

What happened to me...?

What the....? Why...?

The abstract form of the universe is seen in terms of subjective truth...

Or is it objective? Somebody tell me!

Hello? Are you all right?

Sir... I think we should end this relationship. . .

How about your problem?

You should end that relationship soon.

"Modern French Philosophy"

Hey, you! No reading without paying.

Maybe it's okay...

Girlie. . .

Do you understand what you are reading?

This is fun...

Very interesting. . .

You look like this girl in this photo.

Did you know this, old man?

The Count of Sandwich invented sandwiches.

Of course! It makes sense.

Don't you think it's incredible?

The wisdom of humankind!

Aristotle, Dante, Shakespeare, Edison and Stravinski...!

E equals M multiplied by C square root!

All that is Man's passion released towards the universe!

"Metaphysical Reality by Prof. Toshio Saeki”

Why doesn't she come back?

Dirty dishes uncleaned...

Clothes not picked up...

What a sloth!

Professor Saeki?

Yes...?

I read your thesis.

Yes? What can I do for you?

Your views on metaphysical reality

overemphasis evidential rationalism.

Excuse me?

This subject lead Socrates to commit suicide.

It also killed Christ and drove Nietzsche insane.

Can binary structure explain the universe?

You have a very interesting point...

Would you like some coffee?

I'll do it.

Dankeschén.

How much sugar?

No sugar for me.

Descartes might have been right...

Was Kant right when he speculated that God existed on moral grounds?

You... That's too much sugar.

It' s not sweet at all!

It must be!

Disgustingly sweet!

Chaos theory is too simple to deal with this subject.

It may not be comprehensible just as Kierkegaard remarked.

What are you...?

This coffee has no taste!

No! You spilt it!

Too much situationism and not enough practicalism.

Too much situationism and not enough practicalism.

Maybe the righteousness of God is seen in human behavior

as illustrated in Melville' s argument in "Moby Dick, " n' est- ce pas?

I agree.

But not in the Milton way.

"Paradise Lost" lacks the material base of pessimism.

You' ve got a point...

Melville approved...

of innocence with a naive, but sophisticated viewpoint.

You're right, it's unfathomable...

It's a Noam Chomsky point- of- view.

The platonic view on Christianity. . .

How could I not see it, Professor?

Pardon, I was quick...

I have a wife...

She's a wonderful woman.

So don't get me wrong. I have no complaints about my marriage.

But she doesn't discuss Susan Sontag or Noam Chomski with me...

Can I see you sometimes?

Too sweet...

What's wrong?

I have a very sweet aftertaste in my mouth...

You put too much sugar in your coffee.

But that was half an hour ago.

This is Ms. Sachiko Hanai.

She audits my seminars. Her home was blown away by a tornado.

I'm okay now.

The memory of the red roof and green grass under the blue sky of Kansas...

and Aunt Emily' s loving eyes...

She'll stay with us for a while as Mamoru' s tutor.

My son is kind of antisocial and shy...

You're going to have trouble dealing with him.

Please take good care of him.

To explain pleasure from the physiological point of view...

Stimulation is relayed from the thalamus and dopamines are secreted...

- Miss Sachiko? - Yes?

What do I have to know all this for?

What do you mean?

We live in a world where missiles may attack at any given moment.

Missiles?

There' s no capital city in the world which is not targeted by ICBMs.

Everybody knows, but nobody will admit it.

You're right...

It's also true that you won't be accepted by a university.

Does anybody know what's real and what's not?

You have a point there.

Those who tell others to face reality are usually not facing it themselves.

But I think I'm as real as can be.

Is sex real?

I don't know. The pleasure of it is great even if it's virtual.

Not until you answer the next question correctly.

Hello, delivery service. Can I have your signature?

You really scared me!

Oh, ouch...!

Dear Sachiko, I hope you're well and healthy.

Dad has stopped drinking.

Enclosed is some rice and your favorite fish.

Come home for the new year's holiday. Your Mother.

This is good...

Thank you Lord, Father in Heaven.

We're grateful to be sharing this meal with our guest tonight.

Let's eat.

It's hot!

Is it too spicy?

This is new...

Sachiko, it's quite interesting...

Thank you very much...

What the hell?

Sachiko, what's wrong?

Nothing. . .

But Noam Chomski is. . .

Chomski' s got nothing to do with this!

I have to go!

Sachiko!

Are you reading "Defense White Book?"

Oh, that?

I'm interested in military defense.

Russia has deployed 7 Smirnoff ICBMs.

China' s building an aircraft carrier with Japan's financial aid.

You know very well.

You want to be a military commentator?

We'll always have wars. It's a good occupation.

I see.

The deployment of the TDF missile defense system

is manipulated by the Bush administration,

the neo conservatism and the military industry which supports it.

Your learning curve is so steep!

So it's time for Japan to

come up with a nuclear strategic defense concept.

You' re amazing!

It's hot!

Red alert.

Red alert.

Red alert, Sachiko Hanai.

Who are you?

1 am the 43rd President of the United States.

1 have to warn you, Sachiko.

The President!

World peace and democracy are in danger.

It's time for you to act!

Why me? Leave me alone...

Go ahead and see what you have in your left pocket.

Something's in there.

There!

Do you know what it is?

What is it?

It's my finger.

The finger that determines the world's destiny.

It's a clone of my finger.

Gross!

You can't escape from me.

I"m the champion of justice and truth.

You can't escape from me.

You' re naughty, Mr. President!

1 demand to have you "inspected!"

I"m not waiting for the UN's decision!

I got you, Sachiko.

I"m g ol in, g in de le €) p

Once I'm inside you, you can never escape from me.

This is the finger that determines the destiny of the world.

Is it getting better and better? This is the Bush technique.

1 found the G spot!

Here, Sachiko!

"Large scale Air Raid in Iraq”

Shake it up, baby now!

He's fucked up now, baby!

Boys and girls of the world.

Did you see the Hussein statue being knocked down on TV?

Nobody can beat my super weapon, you know?

It eliminates America's enemies

and the enemies of the world one by one, at pin- point precision!

“Nuke em” is an obsolete fear.

Little people, do not be concerned.

My intention is to have "Nature Friendly Wars. *

"Shock and Awe! US, UK Joint Iraq Attack!”

"Kaiyama park"

"The terrorists are hiding in a cave"

You're always being watched.

God bless America!

You can never escape from me! Never!

I m c ol m i n g . 1

Honey...?

Here I come...

No, not that.

What do you think of Sachiko?

Um... what?

I know she's a very clever person...

But there's something strange about her...

No, surely not...

Who's Noam Chomski?

Why are you bringing that up?

Why are you so upset by that name?

I'm not upset. He's just an American scholar.

You're lying! What are you hiding from me?

It tickles!

Be quiet! Mamoru is still awake!

Be quiet.

1 finished!

Correct!

You're getting more and more correct answers.

Yes!

This is the last question.

Correct.

1 did it!

Look. This is the fundamental law of the universe.

Nietzsche and Einstein.

The Count of Sandwich. They all came from here.

It takes courage to confront the truth.

I'm off to the study camp tomorrow...

I won't see you for a while...

Well then...

I'll show you what I really am.

What is that hole...?

Take a look inside.

Wait... Aren't you feeling pleasure?

Oh, yes I am.

But you're not getting wet.

Your idea is illusionary.

Step out of your irrational state.

Practicarism surpasses situationism.

Can I turn off the light?

Of course.

Oh, it's so good...

"Kaneda Investigations"

I want you to investigate who my son's tutor really is.

I see. What's her name?

Sachiko Hanai.

Sachiko... Do you have her photo?

This is her.

1 don't want to be too demanding but please be secretive.

Of course.

I'll be discreet.

Where's Sachiko now?

Does she live with you?

I don' t know what you' re talking about!

Stop!

Are you surprised?

What's going on, Professor?

Am I being too existentialistic?

Let's discuss "The Waste Land" by T.S. Eliot today.

Or maybe "Styles of Radical Will" by Susan Sontag?

Your wife will be back any minute.

She's at a women's meeting. She'll be late.

So don't worry. Talk to me.

Say Noam Chomski.

Please say Noam Chomski.

Let's say it together.

What's wrong, Sachiko? You' re different today.

Would you like to try dialectical materialism?

I see things. I hear things, too...

Every time I hallucinate, I feel less and less.

In the end, I'll feel nothing...

You'll feel nothing?

What are you talking about?

I'll help you understand.

Professor!

Show me the finger.

Not that finger, idiot!

Open it now!

Quick!

You' ve been a pain in the ass.

I'm going to kill you now.

Don't you want to know whose finger it is and what it's for?

What?

I know that you' ve just been hired to find the finger.

Is this your attempt at staying alive?

1 don't think you will be.

What do you mean?

2 seconds from now, we'll both be on the ground!

What is this thing?

A finger cloned from the US President.

What?

To activate something that requires his fingerprint.

What do you think it is?

Something so important that they want us all dead.

I forgot to thank you.

For what?

I ate the fish your mother sent you.

It was delicious.

All forms of abstraction in the universe are essentially infinite. . .

What the hell...?

and unaffected by the Laws of Motion,

in any objective reality or subjective non- reality...

One beef bowl with one egg for the customer!

Are you all right?

I'm okay.

Could you give me the finger?

No way.

Then you have to insert it in the hole in my head.

I don't want to!

You made this hole! It' s your responsibility!

Don't be rough.

Go easy.

Drive along the coastline and then go towards the mountains.

We'll walk from here.

Cogito, ergo sum... I think, therefore I am...

Don't try anything stupid or I' ll shoot you.

Deux Ex Machina, God, I demand you to appear!

Who are you talking to?

This way.

It's here.

What in the hell is this?

This is the Deux Ex Machina.

The machine brought by God.

Speak in Japanese!

Watch out.

That's no way to speak to your teacher.

My teacher?

Deux Ex Machina is the Greek theater narrative device

which solves an unsolvable plot using supernatural force.

Unnatural turns of events bring a convenient solution.

What's that mean?

Look at this.

A Russian keyboard...

It says "Uzbekistan" on the decal...

What can you deduce from it?

A Soviet- made military device came here through the Middle East.

Correct.

What are you doing?

For the correct answer.

Question number 2.

Which country has the largest number of mass destruction weapons?

America.

Suppose if you could control all the ICBMs with a push of a button?

I think you know the answer.

What is this?

A remote control device for the American ICBMs?

Correct.

Why does your country, North Korea, want this?

With a remote control device...

you access power equivalent to the possession of nuclear warheads.

Correct.

North Korea wants this

for political maneuverability and to maintain Fascism.

Oh, no...

Which will it be? Bra or panties?

You'd better escape from here.

Zhuang Zi said, "Chaos died from the seven holes. "

Back in the time of Han Dynasty lived a god named Chaos.

Chaos?

And he had no facial features.

No eyes, no ears, no nose, nor a mouth.

A magician called Dong fang Shvo took pity on Chaos.

The magician made 7 holes for eyes, nose and mouth.

They' re called the 7 holes.

What's your point?

Now able to see, hear, smell and speak

Chaos suddenly died of shock.

Died?

Yes.

What are you driving at?

Chaos is nonsense.

Nonsense is the law of the world.

But you shouldn't try to change it.

"North and South, Integrated”

Sachiko, give me a beer.

Here, I love you.

I love you too.

I'm sorry...

Ever since you made this hole in my head...

my senses have been mixed up and weird.

I' ve never failed to kill my target.

You're the only one who survived my bullet...

It's my fault.

It's okay. Do it right next time.

Do you copy, K- 113? Do you copy?

Your act of treason is based on misunderstanding.

Surrender before I count to 10.

10... 9... 8... 7... 6...

5... 4..

3... 2... 1!

You should have this too.

We have something more powerful than this.

No...

You're insane!

Don't!

Behave yourselves! Because I activated

the missile launch system on the USS Kitty Hawk!

Tokyo, Seoul, Pyongyang, Huston, Yokosuka...

1 can attack any place I want!

What is the meaning of your stupid action?

Are you trying to destroy the whole world?

Thanks to the hole that you made, I experienced many unusual things.

But these are the things forbidden to us humans...

That's why I have to die.

No!

No...

Not now...

- Order to move in. - All units, move in!

Huntington and "The Clash of Civilizations"

has no interrelation with existence neither internally nor externally.

Manager, stop!

I need the money!

For Bush's New World Order...

Where has Mommy gone?

Hello?

Sachiko?

Sachiko?

Where are you from?

I don't know... Maybe Tokyo?

Good. How about Chow Mein? I'll treat you.

Really? Great.

I'm so hungry.

Directed by Mitsuru Meike

The Glamorous Life of Sachiko Hanai

Subtitles by Tetsuro Shimauchi & Rosemary Dean