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back from a triumphant day of shopping.

Get everything you wanted?

No.

Mmm. Hoagie.

So what happened?

We had a fight in Grendel's department store.

About what?

Mega-woman.

Mega what?

Mega-woman. She's a doll.

She can Stop laser beams and walk through walls.

She has a galactic necklace, a power ring

and an anti-matter suit.

Mm-hmm.

And I imagine

these items are sold separately?

And not only that

there's a whole family of them.

There's mega-girl and mega-boy.

She's married to mega-man

and they drive around in a mega-mobile.

You should see what they cost.

Mega-bucks.

A little doll this size cost $9.00.

I said, "Rudy, I just bought you a doll.

I'm not buying another one."

Rudy had a mega-fit.

And I'm sure you took out

your anti-fit galactic shield

and saved the day.

Yes, I did.

Guess who called today.

Who?

I'll give you a hint.

"is this doctor heathcliff 'combustible' huxtable?"

Oh, no.

You don't mean colonel Turner?

Colonel Sanford B. "Tailwind" Turner.

You want some mustard?

Gahhhh!

Vanessa took the message.

He said he would call sometime After lunch

and I know he wants a rematch.

You're not

considering running against this man again?

Absolutely.

You have such a short memory.

Last year after that race, you spent three days in bed

and I had to fill the ice packs

and I didn't get any sleep

because every time you turned over

I had to hear

"Oh, Clair, my legs.

My legs, Clair. Clair, my legs."

That was then.

I have been working out, and I am in shape.

Look at me.

You look good.

Okay.

Can I have a napkin?

A napkin?

I am lean

and mean.

So why ruin that...

why ruin it by racing?

The only thing I'm going to ruin is his pride.

You did that last year

when you won.

We didn't win.

It was a tie.

No, it wasn't.

You won.

Hey.

Denise, the relay race I ran last year--

who won?

Nobody. It was a tie.

I told you it was a tie.

It was not.

It was.

Don't listen to her.

She couldn't even see the finish line.

Then we'll play the tape of the race.

We don't have to.

We don't have to play the tape.

Denise!

I told you never to say it was a tie.

Not the tape.

We watched it last night.

We don't need to see it again.

Yeah, dad, I was mistaken.

We've seen this tape 1,000 times.

Is it still in one piece?

Sit down.

Now...

turn this thing on, and there.

Do you know

I had a 40-yard lead on him

and he still caught me.

Clair: Watch this.

Look! You're winning.

No, no.

You're winning.

No, not yet.

Slow it down.

♪ Da ta-da Ta-da Ta-da ♪

bow!

You won!

Tie!

It was a tie.

You won.

Okay, I'll run it again.

No!

Dad, no!

Hey.

How you doing?

I just ran a tape of my race.

How come nobody called me?

Sit down. I'll run it again.

I can't.

I'm going to cockroach's.

I'll drive you.

Bye.

I'm looking at the shape I was in then

and I can see how he caught me.

But this year, I am ready.

What are you trying to prove?

You're a bunch of middle-aged men

trying to recapture your youth.

You're as young as you feel.

It's all in the mind.

Then that's where I'll put the ICE packs next time.

( telephone ringing )

That's him.

If you want to race, you race.

But I'm out of it.

Out of it?

O-u-t of it.

( ring )

Huxtable residence.

Is this heathcliff huxtable?

Is this

tailwind Turner?

The man I fought off in the relay race last year?

These are the rules of TRACK:

Whoever crosses the finish line first

is the Winner.

That was me.

I have news for you.

I'm in shape this year.

We're not competing.

I want you to run with me for Charity.

Do what?

Scott Oakley can't run.

Will you replace him in the relay?

Hold the phone just one second.

Dear, he doesn't want to run against me.

He wants me to run...

but he wants me to run...

it's you and me together?

Together at the Penn relays.

What leg?

Anchor leg.

Just a minute.

He wants me to run anchor leg.

Dear, that's the leg of honor and glory.

In the pe...

who are we running against?

That's the beautiful part.

You're running against Charlie Stevenson.

Charlie Stevenson set the conference record

in the southeast when we were in college.

When did you see him last?

It's got to be 30 years, I guess, when I saw him.

He was about five-ten, weighed 160 pounds

and all legs.

That's what I remember.

Now he's five-Ten both ways.

Really?

Well, I'm sorry.

I need some time to think it over.

I need to know now.

I accept.

Welcome aboard.

Thank you.

Dear...

tailwind Turner

the fastest man in the world

is going to hand off to me

combustible huxtable.

The fastest man in the universe.

Fast?

Fast.

Faster than the speed of light?

Faster than the speed of light.

Good, then you'll be too fast for the camera

and there won't be a tape.

Hi, daddy.

Hi.

Ohh...

ahh.

Bet you could run fast.

I've been known to do that.

You know who else can run fast?

Who?

Mega-woman.

I don't know her.

You would like her.

She can Stop laser beams...

really?

And breathe underwater.

Oh, she's a fish.

No, she's a woman

like me.

Can I have her?

How much does she cost?

Nine dollars.

Whoa, that's a lot of money.

If you get me this

you'll never have to get me anything else again.

If I buy you this mega-woman

I don't have to buy you another gift or anything

for the rest of my life?

Right.

I like this deal.

Yes, indeed.

Hi.

Oh, there's mom.

We'll see what she...

no, no.

You don't want me to ask Mom about mega-woman?

Aw, Dad.

Rudy, I already told you no mega-woman.

I'll pay for it.

You don't have a job.

I'll get one.

Doing what?

Cleaning up my room.

You already do that for free.

We could pay Rudy for doing extra housework.

What's first?

Paint the kitchen.

No, no, no.

You can start by helping me clean the cupboards.

Okay.

I'll do it for nine dollars.

It pays 50 cents.

I'll take that.

I'm finished dusting.

Good.

Can I have my 25 cents now?

As soon as I inspect your work.

Theo, give me a dollar.

For what?

I cleaned your closet.

Nobody asked you to.

I did it. You owe me a dollar.

Rudy, I'm not giving you a dollar.

Then I'm messing it up.

I'll mess you up.

Get away from me!

All right, you two.

No messing up the closet or each other.

Mom, we're back!

That's not the way we act. You do.

What's all this?

Dad was acting weird in the car.

Weird?

All I did

was act the way my children act sometimes

when they're in the car and I'm driving.

She was driving

and I'm sitting on the passenger side

and I decided to turn the radio up loud.

I had the sound going

so it's bouncing all over the car.

I just sat there

and I was just...

here's dad, okay?

People were staring at him.

Sounds like you had fun.

You should have seen dad.

He was great.

Talk slow. Talk slow.

He was fast.

Hello. What else?

He was real handsome.

Thank you very much.

We were very proud that he was our dad.

Until he got into the car.

Thank you for the ride.

I saw 19 today.

Nineteen?

I was resting, recovering from my 400

and this 19-year-Old boy was running the quarter.

Just practicing.

And he went past me...

woosh.

I just watched him.

Nineteen.

And it had speed.

It had power.

It had bounce.

Nineteen.

Cliff, do you want to be 19 again?

Only if you'll be 19 with me.

Sure.

The children could be 49.

( huffing )

Pow!

Ladies and gentlemen.

Tailwind Turner hands off to combustible huxtable.

Pow.

Look at that stride, ladies and gentlemen.

No one's ever seen a stride on a man this old before.

And ladies and gentlemen...

kapow...

cliff.

Yes, dear?

Honey, what time is it?

It's ten and a half hours before the race.

Pow.

Are you nervous?

No. Just excited.

Hahhh!

Are you disappointed that the children won't be there?

Oh, no.

Because I asked dr. Morrison to film the whole thing

from the time I get on the field

to the time I take my victory lap.

So they can see it whenever they want.

Or you can see it whenever you want to.

I'm so excited about going.

I could run down to philadelphia right now.

The only thing about it is the speed limit is 55

and I might get a ticket.

We have a long drive tomorrow, honey.

We have to start early.

I don't need sleep.

My body is well-tuned.

Pow!

Yes, I must admit you are looking good.

How good?

You are looking...

real good.

Well, I'm sorry.

I'm an athlete.

Pow!

ANNOUNCER: And they're off!

Thayer Davis is challenging James Hodge.

Now Davis taking the lead

for the Edward hurt team.

Running second leg for the hurt team

is damira omoyami.

For the tupperry team- James Burnett.

Let's go!

For the third leg

Sanford B. "Tailwind" Turner

will take the baton for the Edward hurt team.

He'll go against Larry James of the tupperry team.

Announcer: The anchor legs of the race will be run

by heathcliff huxtable and Charlie Stevenson.

Uh-oh! Larry James has injured his leg.

He's struggling to get the baton to Charlie Stevenson.

Huxtable moving out to a big lead.

Wait a minute.

There seems to be a substitution.

It's a woman.

Huxtable has a sizeable lead. Uí÷ñ O÷UÑñÑW wÑfmç3ggó

the anchor for tupperry is coming on strong.

Ladies and gentleman

she's going to catch huxtable.

She does it!

Ladies and gentlemen, we've just discovered

the anchor for the tupperry team

is three-time gold-Medalist Valerie Briscoe-hooks.

And Valerie Briscoe-hooks crosses the finish line

ahead of heathcliff huxtable.

The tupperry team wins the race.

You!

I can't believe that I ran against an olympic champion.

I think you should be very proud of yourself.

You ran a good race.

Yes, I did.

Yes, you did.

Yes, I did.

My favorite part was the look on your face

when you realized it was a woman

who had passed you.

And then

the look on your face

when you realized the woman was Valerie Briscoe-hooks.

Well, they had to get

a three-time olympic medal Winner

to beat me.

And I want to know why did that woman--

when she passed me--

Pat me on my boom-boom?

Because she couldn't resist that fine-tuned body.

How do you feel about what they did to you?

Are you kidding?

Tailwind set me up so good.

I looked at him.

I started laughing.

I tell you what--

for 30 seconds

I thought the people were cheering for me.

And then the next 30 seconds, I knew they were laughing at me.

I felt pretty good about it.

( knock )

Yes?

Who is it?

It's Rudy.

Come in.

Mega-woman wanted to say good night.

Good night, mega-woman.

And how is mega-woman enjoying her new home?

She likes it, but she's lonely.

Why?

She misses mega-boy, mega-girl

and mega-man.

Well, we don't want mega-woman apart from her family

do we?

No.

So I think thatttttrrow...

yes?

You and I...

yes?

Will get up and go down to the toy store...

yes.

And give her back to her family.

No!

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