Original subtitles

Captioning made possible by the U.S. Department of education

RUDY: Hey, kids, this show's especially for you.

I guess you grown-ups will like it, too.

Rudy: Hi, Vanessa.

Where you going?

Oh, nowhere.

Why do you have ice skates?

Okay, I'm going ice-skating.

Can I come?

You wouldn't like it.

The big people there might Bump you around.

I don't care.

You could fall on the ice and catch pneumonia.

I don't care.

Your ankles will swell up, and you won't be able to walk.

I don't care.

Everyone there will be 11, and you wouldn't have fun.

Tell you what.

I'll take you sledding tomorrow.

Thanks.

See you later.

Hi, Rudy.

Want to play?

I can't.

I have something to discuss with Dad.

Have you seen him?

Dad's busy.

Doing what?

Cleaning the stove.

Did he say he'd like help?

No.

Good.

How's it going?

Fine.

Almost finished?

Finished.

Next time, ask me.

I'd be happy to help.

What do you want?

Next saturday is the booster banquet for the football team.

Your mother and I bought tickets.

Can you buy more?

Everybody on the team has to sell ten.

You've sold how many?

Counting you?

Uh-huh.

Two.

How many people have you asked?

Counting you?

Yeah!

Two.

Two!

You're supposed to go outside of the house.

You could ask some doctors at the hospital.

"Ask some doctors at the hospital."

That's all you people ever think about in this house

every time you have something to sell.

Now when I walk in the doctors' lounge

they say, "Here's huckster huxtable"

And dive under the sofa.

It will be a great banquet.

After dinner, they're going to show a film

of the season's highlights.

That's going to be a short film.

Actually, there's no sense in even turning the lights off.

Do me a favor.

I put the thing in backwards.

So put those things in for me.

Thank you.

Hello?

This is Rudy.

Rudy huxtable.

I live in New York city.

Ahem, Yes, uh, pardon me, please.

Hello.

Hi.

This is Rudy's father.

How is the weather in Ireland?

She's five.

Oh, you do?

No, thank you.

I don't want to talk to Sean.

Yeah, okay. Good.

Thank you.

And top O' the morning to you, too.

Honey, I thought I told you

the rules of the house state

you do not pick up that phone and Dial

Unless someone...

helps you. Helps you.

What's the matter?

I'm bored.

Really?

I've got over $3 million worth of books I bought in your room.

I'm not into reading today.

You're not into reading today.

Well, what about drawing some letters?

Some as, some bs...

I did that already.

What about

playing with Dad?

We'll be friends.

Can my friend Maria come over?

What do you mean your friend Maria?

I'm your friend.

No, you're my daddy.

Are you kidding me?

Daddy's make the best friends.

Why do you think dogs always hang out with them?

Can Maria sleep over?

I'll ask Maria's mother and father.

Can some other friends sleep over?

Sure. You want to fly in Sean from Ireland?

All right. Getting ready to go.

Dad said I can have friends sleep over.

You're going to have them sleep over tonight?

Didn't you always say we should entertain more?

But tonight?

You know I'm not coming home until late.

I can handle it by myself.

I'll get Rudy's class list.

It has the parents' numbers on it.

Hi.

My favorite daughter.

What's up?

We're having friends for dinner.

Like you to pitch in.

Great. Who's coming?

Oh, some lively guests.

Okay. What should I wear?

Old clothes.

Rudy's having a sleep-over.

Dad, I just remembered I have plans tonight.

Okay, go ahead.

We'll just use your room while you're gone.

( chanting military March )

Company, halt!

My company, close in the ranks!

No, don't knock each other down.

About face!

All right.

As fast as you can

take off your coats!

After you take off your coats, go to bed!

But we just got here!

What?

We just got here!

That's right. So go to sleep.

Then get up in the morning, and I'll take you all home.

I want you all to repeat after me:

I promise...

I promise...

not to run outside of the house.

Not to run outside of the house.

I promise...

I promise...

not to run inside of the house.

Not to run inside of the house.

I promise...

I promise...

not to touch...

not to touch...

pick up...

pick up...

step on...

step on...

anything that looks interesting.

Anything that looks interesting.

You all are starting to get a little weak.

Does anybody here have any notes?

What notes?

Notes from your parents.

All right.

Would you bring it over, please?

What is your name?

Desiree.

I better take these things and put them in my pocket

because dimples-- people steal them.

You go sit down.

Who else has a note?

What is your name?

Naoka.

Naoka. All right.

It says here that you are a compulsive gambler.

And, uh...

that you are wanted by the police.

Is this correct?

All right.

But it does say you're allergic to milk.

Can you eat a cookie with milk in it?

Have you ever had a cookie?

Then you won't get any here, either.

Go sit down.

All right.

Uh...

may I see you for a minute, Please?

I don't remember picking you up.

Were you in the car when I drove up to the house here?

How did you get in the house with us

if he wasn't in the car..?

You know Peter.

He lives across the street.

You're Peter from across the street?

How did he get in the house?

He was outside when you said

"Everybody line up."

Can he stay?

Do you want to?

Okay.

Son, go across the street and ask mrs. Chiara

if it's all right if Peter stays.

Okay, dad.

All right, go sit down.

Come here, please.

Yes.

Come here, double vision.

And your name is?

Kyle.

Dana.

Do you sing or dance?

We don't dance.

When you're in school.

No. No.

Do you know some songs?

Yes.

What?

Uno, dos, siesta.

So, would you do it for me?

Yes. Yes.

I would love to see it.

♪ Uno, dos, siesta ♪

♪ said east, west ♪

♪ I met my boyfriend at the Candy store ♪

♪ he bought me ice... ♪

now wait.

Wait, Wait, wait, wait.

What boyfriend?

Huh?

We don't have a boyfriend.

You don't have a boyfriend?

You just said you met him at the Candy store.

It's just a game.

It's a game?

Honest?

Yes. Yes.

Okay, go ahead.

♪ Uno, dos, siesta ♪

♪ said east, west ♪

♪ I met my boyfriend at the Candy store ♪

♪ he bought me ice cream ♪

♪ he bought me cake ♪

♪ he brought me home with... ♪

wait a minute.

How old is this boy?

Two. Two.

Two?

He's two years old, and he's got money for ice cream and cake?

It's just a game.

Don't stop us. Let us play.

Okay.

♪ Uno, dos, siesta ♪

♪ said east, west ♪

♪ I met my boyfriend ♪

♪ at the Candy store ♪

♪ he bought me ice cream ♪

♪ he bought me cake ♪

♪ he brought me home with a bellyache ♪

♪ mama, mama, I'm so sick ♪

♪ call the doctor quick, quick, quick ♪

♪ doctor, doctor, will I die? ♪

♪ Count to five and you'll be alive ♪

♪ one, two, three, four, five ♪

♪ I'm alive ♪

I think you all better sit down.

Mrs. Chiara said Peter can stay.

We can keep him as long as we want.

Peter?

Your mother says you can stay.

Would you like that?

How's it feel to be the only man with seven women?

You sleep with me tonight.

All right, got the bucking horse.

We have the championship.

This is the last round.

Here comes our challenger.

Rudy huxtable did not do well the first two times out

but I know this time she'll do well.

You know the rules.

Arms sideways.

We're riding.

The horse looks like...

arms to the side.

You're falling off.

There she goes. She's doing it.

The horse bucks.

Whoa! Stay on.

That was 12 seconds.

Wasn't bad.

Come on over.

And here's "Sing a song."

Here we go.

Arms out to the side.

Sing is riding

and the bucking horse is going all around.

He's off to the side.

She's riding well.

Whoa!

Sing did well.

Come on over.

What's your name again?

Naoka.

Right. I'm glad you got it right.

Raise your arms up.

The horse broke out of the stall.

I'm sorry.

You didn't do well at all.

Didn't I put these in my pocket?

You're taking those dimples out.

Here we go.

Climb right on up.

Put your arms out to the side.

The horse is coming out of the stall

and... whoa! Wait!

How about that?

Nice try.

Here we go.

Next.

Climb right on up there.

She's up.

Hands to the side.

That's no good. Just come on.

You ride better than your sister, don't you?

Arms to the side.

You're doing fine.

You've got everything...

whoa!

All right.

Come on.

Here comes my wife.

She's going to ride good.

Oh, look at Maria go!

The horse goes into a big spin

and she's going off...

she's got the prize, ladies and gentlemen.

So far she's the best.

Okay.

Come on down.

We're going to fix the horse up here.

Now, you just kind of ease into him.

All right.

Okay.

All right.

Here we go.

Thank you.

It is now monster time.

( screaming )

Sit down.

Sit down.

If the monster catches you, he will nub you in the neck.

( screaming )

Sit down.

You can't move till the monster moves.

( roaring )

( screaming )

( roaring )

( doorbell )

( doorbell )

Come on in, dad.

Just thought I'd stop in.

Grandpa!

Hi, Rudy! How's my best girl?

Got some new brothers and sisters here?

Yeah.

I delivered these children

and the Parents didn't want them anymore

so they brought them back.

Everybody into the kitchen.

Tell Theo to give you a cookie!

( shrieking )

It's just a quarter to six

and you're pulling the old cookie trick.

You're already running out of steam.

No, everything is under control, dad.

I see you're limping.

No, I'm fine. It's just a track injury.

I know bucking-horse knee when I see it.

You're enjoying this, aren't you?

It's clear to me that the tide is shifting.

You're going out and the children are coming in.

You'll be drowning in children

in ten minutes.

Luckily, somebody came along who can bail you out.

You can control these children better than I can?

Yes, and I'm willing

to put my much-needed retirement money on the line for this.

Dad, we're not talking about betting.

I'll bet if you'll leave me alone with these children

for one minute

they'll be sitting here as quiet as little angels.

Anybody can threaten children.

I won't threaten them.

Do you want to make the bet? Twenty dollars.

It's been a long time since I took money from you

but it certainly will be my pleasure.

Hello, everybody.

Granddad wants to see all of you.

Have you all had your cookie?

Children: Yes!

All right, go out for the bucking horse.

( shouting )

Your grandfather's in for it now.

He's here? I'll say hi.

No, he's spending time with the children--

unless you want to see him for the last time.

What's going on?

Your grandfather bet $20

that he could have the children quiet in one minute.

That's impossible!

Better believe it.

Especially when the sugar from the cookies kicks in.

You should have bet $50.

He's my father.

It's hard enough to take $20 from him.

But you'll do it?

Yeah!

What did you do to them?

Nothing special.

These lovely children can be well-behaved

with proper supervision.

You're not telling me?

Not a chance.

Children, excuse me.

I'll be going now.

Thanks for a lovely visit.

Whoa!

Grandpa, you're a football fan, right?

Sure am.

Love the gridiron.

Want to go

to my football team's booster banquet?

How much?

Five dollars a ticket.

I'll take eight.

Thanks, granddad.

I filled my quota in the house.

Okay. Thanks for coming over, dad.

It's good to see you, son.

Have a good time.

Bye-Bye.

Bye.

What did my old, gray-haired, gentleman friend say to you?

Go sit down.

Rudy...

come here, dear.

What did granddad say to you?

He said if we were quiet and smiled

you'll give us each a dollar in the morning.

Captioning made possible by the U.S.