Original subtitles

But what I'm saying is, like, subconsciously,

you have to communicate that you are a woman

who is in charge of her life, right?

But you have to manifest it.

So, that means, like, you have to say it out loud,

like, even if it's just to yourself, like, silently or quietly or whatever.

But you have to say it out loud. Otherwise, it won't happen, you know?

What do you think?

What the fuck is that?

I mean...

It's for the country club.

Oh, come on, you're kidding me.

You're not joining the fucking country club.

Joined.

Are you fucking serious?

That's where the money is, honey!

Oh, my God.

And if I happen to meet a guy there, you know...

- I said "if." That's not why I joined. - Okay.

No, I'm gonna be networking the heck outta that place.

You'll see.

Can you see if they have this in a six?

Yep.

Fucking...

- What was that? - What was what?

- That noise you just made. That "sss." - I didn't make a sound.

- Yes, you did. - No, I didn't.

What's wrong? Why are you walking like that?

- I'm not walking like anything. - Is it your knee?

There's nothing wrong with my knee! I'm fine!

Sam, this is why I got you insurance.

You have to go see Dr. Weis.

I'm not gonna go see Dr. Weis, come on.

- Why? - Well, because.

Because what?

Because our sister walked in there fine, and then she walked out with cancer,

and I'm not interested.

You do not have cancer. Oh, my God.

Don't catastrophize everything. Come on.

Just walk in there, get it checked out, and walk out.

- It's not a big deal. - Tricia, come on.

No, don't "Tricia" me. You have to go.

- I'll go with you. - No!

Okay, well then you have to promise me you're gonna go.

Okay, will you get off my back if I say, "Yes, I'll go"?

I will.

Okay, I'll go.

Good. Thank you.

- You're welcome. - Now, help me find something for golf.

- You gotta be fucking kidding me. - Nope.

- Golf? - Yeah.

I'm taking a lesson! You should come with me!

There's probably some cute guys out there golfing, too.

Can't wait to get home and

type in "popped collars and khakis" into WhatMakesMeWet.com.

- Hey. - Hey.

You're drinking out of that mug again?

Yeah. I love it.

I keep waiting for you to not be looking, so I can throw it out.

Oh, come on. It's adorable.

- Come on. - Yeah.

Have you talked to Sam?

Just via text, but I think she's much better now.

Oh, good.

We should've taken her some soup.

That's very sweet.

The Dusty Bookshelf is having a puzzle swap!

Yeah!

Should we go by later today?

Absolutely! But I just wanna get some steps first.

I'll join you, but just let me finish this first, okay?

- Sure. - I wonder...

which puzzle we should take to swap.

I'm just gonna get some laps inside, I think.

Okay.

Jesus, are you fucking kidding me?

God.

- Hi. - Was it something I said?

What?

Well, it's been a while since we've had you in the office.

We don't even have a chart anymore.

That means it's been at least a decade.

I guess I've been busy.

Everybody's so busy these days.

How are your folks? How do they like Texas?

They're good. My dad's doing a lot of fishing,

and, yeah, it seems to... They seem to be happy.

Fishing? Wow.

You know, I never thought I'd see the day

- they left Manhattan. - I know, right?

So you're exercising regularly?

Well, I like to ride my bike when my truck breaks down,

so, here and there.

How about your diet?

I...

A little grab-and-go, some pizza, and, you know, a muffin.

I gotta get those scones at Freddy's, but I know I should eat something green.

Take a deep breath for me.

- Okay. - Wait a minute. Okay.

How about alcohol?

I like it.

About how much do you like it?

- Well, I try not to drink every day. - Okay.

I got some designated non-drinking nights, so.

Okay, well, another deep breath.

A glass of wine here and there won't hurt you,

but anything more than that puts you at a higher risk

for breast cancer, head and throat cancer,

and with your family history...

I got it, yeah.

Any sexual partners?

- No. - Okay.

Let me take a look at this knee.

How long has it been bothering you?

A couple weeks.

- Maybe more. - Okay.

- How about there? - It's okay.

- Tender here? - Yeah, but...

- Yeah, that's the spot. - Okay.

I'm gonna have you go down the hall to get an X-ray.

Paula will come in and take some blood. And how about a mammogram?

How about it?

At your age, you should be getting one every year.

Well, you know, I really think I'm fine. I...

I've been in the shower before and kinda,

you know, poked around and I haven't felt anything,

so I think I'm good.

Look, you can keep throwing up these roadblocks,

but if you're not gonna look out for yourself,

I'm gonna look out for you.

How's that sound?

- That sounds good. - Good.

I'll give you a call when your blood work and your X-rays are back.

In the meantime, Samantha,

I'd like you to work on your lifestyle choices.

Any questions?

No.

Remember, we're in this together.

- Okay. - Sit tight.

- Paula will be right in. - Okay.

- And say hi to your folks for me. - I will.

Hi.

Okay.

- Hey. - Hey, Sam.

Hi. Sorry I'm late.

All good. Everyone is closed out.

- Okay. - We just have Sheri's tab open.

Great.

I will see you tomorrow?

Whether you like it or not. Better move that thing. Jesus.

- I know. - Hey, Sheri.

- Hey, Sammy. - So, what'd I miss?

- Same old, same old. - Same old, same old, huh?

Alright.

Is that true you were out at Auntie Mae's dancing last night?

Yeah! I did! Oh, my God.

And then, they played Plassy Cline.

- "I Fall to Pieces." - "Plassy" Cline?

- Yeah. - Oh, man.

You still gonna go dancing tomorrow?

Yes, I am. Why don't you come?

You know, it's not my thing, Sheri.

- Well, why not? - I don't have your moves.

I don't have your moves.

Yeah, you got moves. I got my moves, you got your moves.

Thank you.

You know what? I'm gonna take a quick lap.

You good?

Alright.

Hey.

I didn't know you come here.

I didn't know you worked here.

Well, secret's out. You want another beer?

No, I just have the one.

Wow. You are definitely not from here.

How do you know Jerry?

He was my professor at K-State.

Oh.

You know, I was wondering how you ended up here.

I thought, you know, maybe you just took a globe,

gave it a spin, and bloop. Manhattan, Kansas.

Nope. I'm here on purpose.

Well, I guess I was wrong.

Is that a good book?

Oh, well, I'll let you know.

That's okay. I don't read. I can.

But...

my brain's kinda like a kitchen sponge.

If it gets too wet, it stinks.

But if you ever wanna bring Wesley here, we're friendly...

We're dog friendly, if the dog is friendly.

It's a tough slogan.

Oh, yeah.

Oh yeah, we're doing that porch life.

Yeah.

This is nice.

Where my porch pals at?

Come on.

Music.

I mean, now this is cutie.

This, this is cutie.

You don't wanna do this.

Oh, fuck.

She like an office manager?

I hope he can get it up for you, honey.

I'm just here and...

I look good. You look good, Sam. You look good.

You don't look good. You do not look good right now.

Oh, my God, that was humiliating.

- How's the beer? - It's doing the trick.

No, I shot a round today, so.

How'd you do?

- Not too shabby. - Oh!

Yeah.

So, what's fun to do here? What's...

The pool is great, in the summer.

You know, my kids loved that. They learned to swim here.

Yeah, they're off at college now.

- Same with mine. - Where are they at?

Just the one. She's up at KU.

- Oh, nice. - Yeah.

I've got two. They're up at Iowa State, so they can be close to their mom.

Oh, okay. Well, that must be hard.

So, what's good here?

Brian! Heard you had a pretty good round today.

Hey, Mitch! Yeah, some days the cup looks like a bucket.

- Hi, there. - Hi.

Mitch, this is Tricia. She's a brand-new member.

Tricia Murph... Mill... Tricia Miller Murphy.

- Welcome, Tricia. Nice to meet you. Mitch. - Nice to meet you.

- You play tennis? - Well...

How about golf?

Actually, I just signed up for a lesson

- over at the pro shop, so... - You'll have to meet my wife.

She's always looking for someone to play with.

Well, I would love that! Yeah!

- I'll tell her to keep an eye out. - Okay, great.

- Brian. - Hey.

You know who that is?

Yeah! He is so nice for being so rich.

Yeah, they're humble people. Humble people.

Hi. Excuse me, sir.

- Tricia Murphy Miller. - Yes!

Please, call me Mitch.

Mitch.

I just wanted to say that I know how generous you are

in terms of your philanthropic endeavors around

and surrounding cancer research and such,

and so I just, I wanted to give you my card

if I could.

So I'm in event planning.

That is my passion.

And I just... I really love giving someone,

like, that one-of-a-kind event that is made especially just for them.

And so, if you were ever wanting to,

to put something together, to do an event for...

Because I lost my sister to cancer.

I'm so sorry to hear that.

Thank you.

I know that we could do a lot of good. So, sorry.

- I didn't mean to... - "Trish Upon a Star."

I like that.

- Thank you. - Do you have a minute?

I absolutely do have a minute. I have many minutes!

Hi, Sam. It's Dr. Weis. I'm looking at your X-rays.

You have some serious arthritis in your left knee.

I'd like to have you schedule a follow-up with an orthopedist right away.

As for your blood work, blood sugar, liver enzymes,

and cholesterol are all high.

We need you to make some changes, Sam.

It's just gonna take a little effort. And we need you to lose some weight, okay?

Give me a call so we can discuss.

Sam! Oh, my God, I am at the club! You would not believe this place.

I just met Mitch Green!

- Wow. - I know.

And I just walked, like, right up to him, and I was like,

"You know, I admire everything you do for the community,

like, all your philanthropic stuff."

And then, I just offered to help him set up an event

to raise money for cancer research, and he said yes!

- Can you believe it? - That's great, Trish.

Of course, I'm totally gonna need your help

'cause this is gonna be major.

Yep, you got it. Whatever you need.

Okay. Oh, my God. Linda Browning just walked in here.

Alright, I have to go. I have to go say hi to her.

- I'll call you back. Bye. - Bye.

- Hey, Sammy! - Hey!

What are guys doing all the way out here?

We're here to check your alibi.

- I have to go tee-tee. - Oh, right over there.

Sorry, boss, you know I gotta pay those fuckin' bills.

- I know. - Where's the rest of the team?

Well, you know, we wanted some buddy time.

Just us guys. And I'm dying for a Diet Coke.

Susie's got her eye on me nonstop.

Well, I wish I could, but she scares the shit outta me,

so I don't think I can help you out with that.

- Nobody lets me have any fun anymore! - I know, I know,

but, you know, it's gotta be nice having somebody

that looks out for you like that, right?

Alright, I'll have a water.

Stay hydrated, right?

Lotta humanity in that bathroom.

That's a nice way of putting it.

What are you drinking? Anything?

- Yeah. - We have...

What's a Vizzy Hard Seltzer?

- Oh, it's... - Don't tell me!

- Just surprise me. - Okay.

- Where are all the people? - You know, it fills up later.

This is my me time. I do my puzzles and all that.

Excuse me. Holy shit.

Darts? You kidding me?

- Yeah. - Oh, my God, we gotta play!

- Come on. Joel, come on! - No.

I don't wanna do any more sports today.

Oh yeah, we got darts, we've got trivia.

We have tater tots.

Tater tots? Oh, my God, I'm losing my mind!

Gimme some taters, come on!

I gotta dig out the toaster oven from the back.

Hey, do they have shows here?

I think "shows" might be too big a word for it.

It's really just a couple of drunk old-timers

singing hits of the '70s.

- I wanna see that. - I don't think you do.

I don't know!

I do, come on. Will you sing something for us, Sammy?

- Okay. I'm just gonna sing. - Yeah.

Welcome to paradise

It's suckin', suckin', suckin' out my

Soul!

- Oh, the tongue! - Nah, I'm just kidding.

It's not that bad here. You know.

Okay.

Well, there goes my me time.

Alright, kids, that's my cue.

I don't wanna mix and mingle with the student body.

- You coming to our next practice? - I'll be there, Coach.

- Thanks for coming by. - You coming?

I just got my drink.

Fuck it, I'ma stay a little longer.

Oh, God, it's gonna be that kind of party.

Here we go. Here I come, guys!

You're really good at this.

Washing glasses? Thank you so much.

- I mean the whole thing! - Yeah, well,

I'm doing what I can.

Should I just eat one of those eggs?

Are you out of your fuckin' mind?

They're, like, appealing in a disgusting way.

They're a little dangerous.

You know, this is the longest that we've gone

without seeing each other in so long.

I know, right?

I was starting to worry that something was maybe wrong.

No, no, no, no. You know, just fucking work.

And, you know, you're all shacked up now,

- just wanna give you some space to... - I don't need space.

- Can we close out? - Yeah.

Let's see here.

This is you guys.

Sometimes those young ones don't tip. We'll see.

- Well, he looks rich. - I hope so.

You know, can you just gimme one quick second?

Okay.

- Hey! - Hey.

You looking for Jerry?

- I haven't seen him yet. - No.

I came to give you this.

Save you a trip to the farm.

Oh God, you didn't have to come all the way out here.

No trouble.

Oh, well, thank you.

Lemme get you a beer.

Oh, no, I have to get back to Wesley.

Yeah, he probably wants his meat.

Right.

Okay, well, next time, I guess. I'll be here.

Sure. Thank you. Thank you for

the offer.

You got it.

See ya.

Yeah.

Good? Okay.

- Who was that? - He's the guy that's renting the farm.

- Oh, that's him? - That's him.

He's got such a deep voice, I could hear it in my tummy.

I know. It's like an Icelandic thing, I guess.

- I don't know. - Thank you, ma'am.

Oh yeah, thank you.

- Thank you, ma'am! - Ma'am!

Oh, my God. Kids, right?

I hope they hooked you up.

You know what?

They actually did.

Good for them! I knew they had it in 'em.

See, that's the children leading the way.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, your money's no good here.

- Just take it. - No, put it away. Come on, Joel.

Come on.

- Put it away. I insist. - Alright, if you insist.

But, I'm putting it into a fund for our friendship.

- A friendship fund? - Yes.

What?

I don't know, I just like being here.

Do you have plans right now? 'Cause if you...

If you just gimme, like, 15 minutes,

I was thinking maybe we could go fuck up some donuts.

Oh, let's fuck up some donuts.

- You wanna fuck up some donuts? - They already got one hole in 'em.

Let's make it some more.

- What has happened to you? - I don't know!

But I do have to go tee-tee 'cause Vizzys go right through me.

Well, just go on the floor. Everybody else does.

- Are you serious? - Just me.

Samantha Miller.

Oh, God!

- This is insane! - Yeah?

You want a bite?

Oh, no, no, no. I don't wanna steal any of your joy.

Good.

So,

how's that married life?

Slow down!

It's good. It's good. I mean, it's an adjustment.

Yeah.

You know, it's a lot of time together.

I'm still not used to him being in the house when I pick my pah-pah.

Well, it never stopped you with me.

- Well, I trust you. - Yeah.

You know you can always take your morning meetings at my place.

- That's very sweet. - Well...

I might take you up on that 'cause I'm starting to get a little backed up.

Oh, no.

No, it's good. I love Brad.

He's so sweet.

He loves telling me everything about his day when he gets home.

Then he wants to hear all about mine, too. It's just...

You know. Sharing everything?

It's a lot to get used to.

Yeah, I bet.

What?

You know,

the other morning after your party, Brad said something to me.

That you guys could spot me some cash if I needed it,

and I...

I was really embarrassed.

You know, when I tell you, Joel, it's just for you.

And I really hate thinking about you guys

sitting around, talking about how to fix me.

You know, I'm nobody's project.

Sam, you don't need fixing.

Yeah, well, then I go to my doctor, and she starts telling me

all this shit that's wrong with me and...

- Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm fine! You know,

she just wants me to take better care of myself.

- Well, do you want to? I'll help. - I don't want any help, Joel!

I don't need any help!

And then, fucking Susan tells me that I'm bringing Fred down!

- What? What are you talking about? - I don't know.

The donuts and the French toast for the table.

And, you know, it's like...

I already do enough thinking about what's wrong with me.

I don't need anybody's help.

Nothing is wrong with you, and fuck Susan! Sorry.

But seriously, fuck her.

Fuck Susan, and her stupid fucking

gross healthy snacks.

They did look like turds.

You know what? Here.

Take a picture of me eating this dirty-ass donut

and send it to her. Come on.

- No, you said you overdid it. - I don't care.

I'm gonna push through. Let's do this.

Alright.

- She's a lot, isn't she? - Oh, my God!

She sucks.

- Don't send that picture though. - I already did.

- No, Sam! Did you? - I'm kidding.

I don't even have her number.

Fuck it. No French toast for the table? Fuck her!

Do you want her number? 'Cause I do have it.

I don't want her number!

You're right. Fuck her number.