Original subtitles

OK, Mrs Scheller. Um, just about done.

You feel alright? Can't feel a thing, thank God.

Is it a bad one? No, it's fine.

It's just a small tear. Yeah.

How long will it take to heal?

Um, seven to ten days,

but you might still feel a little sore after that,

so just take it easy.

Don't s'pose you wanna throw another stitch in there.

Make it like new?

Nick!

He's joking. No.

Afraid not.

I'm joking.

I'm joking.

It's just I have a mate who, um, his missus got...

You're gonna have to talk to him sometime.

No, I don't. I never have to talk to him again.

It is so awkward... But it's...

I'm literally never talking to him again.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

I've been staring at broken vaginas for so long.

I'm so tired and like today

would have been me and James' two-year anniversary.

Ash, you broke up,

so you don't have an anniversary anymore.

Dat gone.

Do you think I've put on weight since James?

What are you talking about? Not at all.

Why are you looking at my feet?

Because people carry weight in different spots.

Because people carry weight in different spots.

Well, I don't, you know that. No, well, your feet look great.

Just say, "You look beautiful." You look beautiful.

And stop it. Why are you being weird?

I told you!

Gordon just went off me the other night.

Fuckin' old man Gordon went off this.

Well, it's probably him.

I mean, he probably couldn't get it up.

No, he did. It was up.

It was all the way up, and he walked out of the room

with it still up.

Well, is he religious?

Do I have bad breath?

Say something.

Hunter Valley hinterlands.

Hey.

No, it's OK.

I mean, you just had a coffee, yeah?

No. Fuck.

I'm gross. Look at that.

I'm disgusting. You're not.

You're a goddess. I don't feel like a goddess.

Well... OK, if you want...

No, I don't want.

I haven't even said what I have yet. No, I know what you're gonna say.

Stop pushing your dexies on me, Meggles.

I'm not pushing them, I'm offering them to you for free.

You have a drug problem. Oh, don't get mean.

Sorry.

Do I?

Oh, hey, I've got the house to myself

for like months now, if you and Colin wanna stay.

How long have you been, um, sitting on this offer, Meggles?

What?

Because last night

I stood outside Gordon's place for 20 minutes

waiting for his light to go out.

OK.

Well, I'm sorry, Ashley, I've been grieving.

Yeah. Well, I will accept your offer.

You're welcome.

Sorry.

Check yourself.

Oh, fuck!

Not 'cause I'm fat, though. No.

'Cause I'm tired. Yes.

Do they make you poo?

Ashley. Leave me a message. Bye.

Oh, hey, buddy! Want a treat? Want a treat?

Talk. Talk. Talk. Talk, fuck ya.

Hey, Brett. Yeah?

Ah, can you do something useful and break up the screen zombies?

Looks like a fucking Genius Bar out there.

Fiona's gonna be here at 4:00.

Fiona's gonna be here at 4:00.

Sure.

Hey, lover boy.

What are the chances you're gonna perk up before she gets here?

Hey?

Get your head out of your undies and switch on, mate.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm not bringing Fiona here because she's a great hang.

I thought she was your mate.

I haven't seen her since Year 12 for a reason.

OK.

But getting our brand onto a major airline,

it could take us to the next level.

Mm. Hold it.

Feel the... feel the... Yeah.

Look at the font. Oh, that's good. That's...

Do you like... See how I 'italicsed' that...

Yeah.

..and then I did that bit with the sans...

Yeah. Yeah, it's good.

Sorry, do you actually wanna start turning a profit here?

Yeah.

Or... or should we just use this as a way for you to get laid?

Oh, geez, righto. Steady on.

No, because I'm more than ready to sell my share of the business.

It's a bit early in the morning

for that tired old threat, don't you think?

I don't think so. You know what's looking good right now?

Crypto. Is it.

Elon Musk said... Oh!

.. "You should get crypto."

Oh, Musk we? Yes. Yes.

Yeah, my cousin said that, too.

But yeah, he just bought his fourth jet ski.

He bought his wife a new set as well.

Set of what? Tits.

OK, stop now, alright? Let's just focus.

Now, I don't know how across beers Fi is...

Now, I don't know how across beers Fi is...

Right.

..but she's really high up in the company, OK?

Is she hot? So, don't talk to her, Brett, OK?

Yes, boss. Thank you. Thank you, Brett.

Oh, fuck. What?

Did you say 4:00? Yeah.

I do have a vet appointment for the dog...

You are fucking kidding me.

Chi, it'll be so quick, I'll be back before you know it.

You know that before I came here,

I took two kids to school and a third to the ear specialist,

and then I dropped Andre at a voiceover.

Did you know that? Which kid?

No... Oscar. What's wrong with him?

He's got a perforated. He ran into a... It doesn't matter.

My point is...

Is he alright? But did you... Shut up.

OK.

I don't even think about Andre and the kids when I'm here.

Well, because you don't really like your husband, that's why.

That's got nothing to do with it.

The point I'm trying to make is I'm professional.

OK, I'm professional too, Chi,

but I have to take care of this dog.

No, you have to take care of your dick.

OK.

I've known you for 30 years.

I think I understand how you work, Flash.

I understand you too. Have you had a coffee today?

I've had, like, four. OK. Well, there it is.

Shouldn't be much longer.

You didn't tear this much last time, did you?

I told you we should have gone out the sun roof.

I'm not a car, Jordan. It's fine, isn't it, doctor?

It's fine, yeah. Seen much worse than this.

Doctor? I heard you were a student.

I am.

But I've done lots of these.

Mama! Mama! Mama! Mama! Mama! Mama! Mama! Mama!

Hi. Wanna stop that?

Mama! Mama! Mama!

Ah, if you could get her to stop, that'd be...

Rose, that's enough. That's enough.

Don't suppose you could chuck a husband stitch in there, could ya?

Just for me?

Our friends Benny and Trish got that done.

Yeah, I've heard that before.

Could you, though? Oh, Jordan, stop saying that.

Benny and Trish... Mama! Mama!

Yeah, well, Trish's vagina didn't get that way

'cause of babies, take it off her.

She's fine... Just do it, Jordan, please.

Mama! Mama! Relax.

Mama! Mama! Relax.

Ahh.

Ow...

Are you OK?

I'm so sorry.

Um, I've just pricked my finger

and so there's been some blood-to-blood contact...

Are you kidding me? And what does that mean?

And so what that means is that, um, there's just protocol and paperwork

and we both have to get blood tests.

Oh, fuck this! Jordan, you're not helping.

Is it protocol to rip someone from arsehole to breakfast?

Have you seen the size of your head? What'd you say?

Do you know how genetics work?

I mean, I didn't do this!

Excuse me? Ah, Jordan.

Excuse me? Jordan?

Why don't you take Rose to go and get an orange juice

and let the doctor do her work, yeah?

Student doctor.

Yes, and I might call my lawyer while I'm at it.

We don't have a lawyer, Jordan. Just go.

I'm so sorry.

That was really unprofessional of me.

No, no, he deserved it.

Are you OK?

Can I give you a hug?

I haven't tied you off yet.

OK.

OK.

I'm so sorry. That's alright.

You're not the first person to cry down there.

Yes.

Hey, how's, uh, Simon going?

Do you mean Stephen, my brother? Stephen, sorry, yeah. How is he?

Do you even care? I mean, yeah, yeah.

OK. Um, he's fine. Great.

Yeah, they found him, so...

Oh.

And I'm doing really well, thanks for asking.

Sorry, yeah, how are you? I'm sorry I never called...

Anyway... Yeah.

Colin is doing a lot better than I expected, to be honest.

Oh, that's good.

How far off do you think he is before he can walk?

What? No. Never. I...

But his legs do move a bit.

Like I thought with some dog physio...

Are we not... Oh, god.

Gordon, he has permanent spinal damage,

so he's a dog on wheels.

OK.

I mean, I sort of wish that you'd said that in the...

I mean, I sort of wish that you'd said that in the...

Can I just check if Ash is here?

We, we... She was meant to meet me here.

Look, I'm pretty sure that

your girlfriend understood the whole...

She's not my girlfriend. It's a bit complicated.

But I just need to check... Oh, complicated. Right.

Yeah. OK. Well, I remember that.

And... and I'm sorry.

Listen, Gordon, he needs looking after.

Are you actually committed to that,

or are you just trying to get your next root?

That is so unfair. We haven't even...

OK, well, I'm not... I am not interested in that.

Aren't you? No.

OK.

I'm interested in this dog's welfare, not yours.

OK.

Gordon, he could live for another 12 years.

Are you prepared to be complicated

with this girl for 12 years?

Is this another 'accidental' visit to see me?

Yeah. Yeah, James.

I intentionally stuck myself during a peri-repair

just so I could come and see you.

Gene's gonna be stoked with that.

Could you just do your job, maybe?

Sure.

Name, Ashley Molden. Yeah.

Today is the 9th... No, it's the 10th.

Cool.

10 January.

OK.

Nothing? OK.

Relax your fist.

OK, I'll get you to hold that just...

Yep.

Just straighten your arm out.

Just relax.

Just try and relax. I'm fuckin' trying!

You might be a little cold. Can I get you a blanket?

Maybe get the blood flowing.

Is that OK?

OK, let's try again.

Go in here.

Ash?

Breathe, and just try to let go.

That's great.

Hey, everything's gonna be OK.

So, what do you think?

Mmm. It's cute.

These microbreweries,

they're really in right now, aren't they?

Oh, yeah, yeah. I was actually...

What do you think of the pale ale?

It's fine.

I just thought it would, uh, pair so well with your noodle cup,

or maybe the pretzel, do you think?

Oh!

You paired everything with our shitty little menu?

You paired everything with our shitty little menu?

Oh, Chi-Chi, you are so cute.

Did you want to try the amber?

Hey, Chi-Chi, it is actually really, really good to see you.

Yeah, you too.

Oh, my god.

Do you remember Mr Papali? Ah...

Yeah, Mr Papali. Like the hot PE teacher.

Remember, Michelle had like

a massive crush on him for like three years?

She tried to fuck him on the Year 11 school camp.

Yeah, I think so, yeah. Yeah.

Me, Juzzy, Michelle, were out.

Mr Papali walks past.

Oh, my god, amazing. Yeah!

Have you tried the amber?

You should have seen his face when he clocked Michelle.

"Oh, fuck." Hilarious.

I should catch up with those girls again.

Mm.

So, what'd you think of the amber? Mm.

I just think it would be so great as your flagship beer.

Yeah, totally.

And Michelle was like, "Oh, my god, tonight's the night."

That's just classic Michelle. Yeah!

Hey, I've just gotta run to the loo...

And then she sucked him off in the dunnies!

And then she sucked him off in the dunnies!

That is amazing!

God!

Hey? Chi-Chi? Mmm?

We should get some, like, food, like cheese,

'cause we should probably line our stomachs

you know, before we head out.

Oh. You think we...

Yeah. Yeah? Defin... Totes.

Oh, wow.

Hey.

Hey, is something up with Colin? I'm at the hospital.

Uh, no, no, everything's alright.

I just... I just thought we were meeting there, that's all.

Oh, no, yeah, no, I can't leave today, sorry.

I thought you knew that.

Totally, yeah. No, that's alright. Um...

Hey, did you know that

he's definitely not gonna walk again?

Like, there's no chance?

Yeah. Did you not? I mean, yeah, but I don't know.

I just thought with like, dog physio, or...

I just thought with like, dog physio, or...

Ashley!

We talk about this another time? I'm just really busy, as I said.

No, now! Yeah, sorry, I'll let you go.

Hey, just before you go...

um, I... I did have a good time the other night

and I would love to try it again.

Do it properly?

Right...

Uh, I really... I've gotta go.

Yeah, I'll let you go.

OK, bye. Bye.

Now, you're lucky they aren't taking this any further

but, Ashley, your performance

from last year to this year has slipped,

and to be quite honest I'm surprised by that,

because the opposite should have happened,

given that it's mostly prac.

OK.

Now, I don't wanna put too fine a point on this,

but you're not as book smart as some of your peers,

and you know that.

Your work ethic requires 110% just to stay on top.

I've just been a bit slammed here, Gene...

That's your job. You keep giving me peri...

That's your job, Ashley. If you can't handle that, speak up.

That's your job, Ashley. If you can't handle that, speak up.

Because if you're too tired to do your job, someone dies.

I understand.

I don't want another Bubbly Sophie.

Bubbly what? Sophie.

OK. Sophie Horsburgh.

Overtired sixth year medical student.

In 2005, she injected an elderly gent with an air bubble.

He had a heart attack. He died.

Oh, yeah. Shit.

Embolisms. Mm-hm.

They're particularly cruel, Ashley,

because the patient can see the expression on the doctor's face

before they felt anything at all.

Savage.

What happened to her? To Bubbly Sophie?

She ended it.

S... She killed herself? No, no, no. Left medicine.

Oh.

Met a Polish gent, backpacking in Russia,

and they came back,

they opened a pierogi food van in the Northern Beaches.

Doing very well. Delicious.

Doing very well. Delicious.

Good, fresh produce. Mm.

So, happy ending then.

Someone died, Ashley. Someone died. That's right, yeah.

I forgot that bit.

Hello? Dr Bruce, hi.

Hello, wh-who's this?

It's Gordon. Gordon.

What can I do for you?

You called me, Dr Bruce. It's Gordon Crapp.

I called you, did I? Oh, well, of course I did.

Gordie. Gordie, Gordie.

Ah, do you want the good news or the bad news?

The bad news.

Well, the bad news is

I can't go sailing 'cause of the weather.

But the good news is the results are clear.

Really? So bladder's good? Everything's good?

No cancer present.

No cancer present.

Anyway, see you in 12 months. Thanks for calling.

You called me, but thank you.

Bye-bye.

G'day, this is Flash.

Leave a message.

Don't bother coming back in again, shithead.

And thanks again for prioritising our business.

Chi-Chi!

Can you believe that I married Four Finger Owen?

Who? Owen Mitchell, remember?

He stuck four fingers up his arse, Year 8 camp.

He was such a fuckwit.

Was such a fuckwit. Oh!

So, did you have a favourite beer, or was there any...

Yes. ..other ones you want to try?

I do. The last one that I just had.

Oh.

Was that the rhubarb sour or the Hoppy Poppy?

Hey. Hi.

Oh, it doesn't really matter, does it,

Oh, it doesn't really matter, does it,

'cause I can't even taste the difference!

OK.

Oh, hey?

Um, what do you like having in your mouth?

Ah, the stout.

Oh, yeah, stout. Mm. Yep.

'Cause I tell you what, I like something stout inside me.

Copy that. Do you like titties?

You know, like big titties?

Brett, do you wanna check the kegs?

Sorry, I didn't... No, it's all good.

I just need you to check the kegs for the...

Cool, cool. Thanks, OK.

Oh! Is he single?

Hey, Fi, I don't know

if you've been, like, totally honest with me.

Like I just don't feel like you're taking this seriously,

and we are really trying to get your business.

Oh, fuck. Oh!

Chi-Chi, I don't know anything about beers, OK?

But like Ross does everything I say,

so just tell me which ones to buy and he'll do it,

like that.

Are you serious? Yes.

Oh, my...

Do you mind signing just here to say that?

Do you mind signing just here to say that?

Oh.

Was this like a... purely a business thing,

like inviting me here because I work for an airline?

Because I'm, you know, like a high-flyer?

No.

Because I thought

that you actually wanted to hang out.

Absolutely! Yes! Like properly hang out.

Absolutely! Of course I do.

Yes, Fi-Fi. 'Cause I tell you what.

I don't actually have any friends left,

because I had a really shitty divorce, OK?

It was really shitty, and Michelle's gone.

Doesn't even fuckin' text me and I just thought we...

Forget it, just forget it.

When you text...

Hey.

No, no, no, when you text,

I got a bit of a lift, and that was stupid.

Hey, me too. Seeing you.

Honestly.

Fi-Fi. Really?

Old friends are the best friends, what?

OK. Come on.

Alright. Awesome. You know what I'm gonna do?

Wait a sec, I've had an idea. Yes!

Bloody well text Juzzy, get her to meet us all out...

Bloody well text Juzzy, get her to meet us all out...

It's a plan. ..with a bag.

- Do you wanna do that? Like... - Get out there?

What about him? He's in it. Ah, he's gotta work.

Us. What are we gonna do?

Party! Whoa!

Good boy.

Hey!

Ash?

Hey.

Hey, are you leaving?

Um, yeah. Sorry.

It's a bit last minute but obviously there's room for us now at Meggles'.

You know, with Peggy dying, so... Oh, right.

Col and I can stay there.

Oh.

Wish I'd known.

I wouldn't have got such a good bottle of red.

Is that Grange? Yeah. It's 2014, but, yeah.

Wow, are you celebrating? Yeah.

I mean, not really. Mm?

Just a day. Just a nice day. Lucky day.

Nice.

Don't worry, I can finish that all by myself.

Perfectly capable. OK.

Hey, uh...

You're not leaving 'cause of the other night, are you?

No.

Are you sure? Oh.

'Cause I just feel like you might have been dodging me

a little bit because of it.

Dodging you today? Little bit.

Dude, I'm so busy.

Totally. Yeah. Um, no, it's all good.

It's totally fine.

I just... You know, I've got a lot of uni on at the moment

and, um, I gotta focus on that and Meggles gets that,

so I think it makes sense that I just go there.

Mm.

And you did want me to move out.

You asked me to find somewhere to stay.

Of course I did.

It's just, uh, I didn't realise you'd found a place,

that's all, so... so soon.

Hey, Megan's.

Uh, how are you gonna look after Col, though?

If you could still help me with that, that would be awesome.

Oh, OK.

Yeah, if that's... I mean, he's not too much of a burden.

Well, I mean he is, but you know, he's the sort of burden

that gets right in there, you know.

Yeah, he's a nice one.

Anyway, I'm so shattered, so I'm gonna go.

Totally. I'll drive you.

It's OK, I've got an Uber. Cancel it.

It's almost here.

Hey, quick shot of tequila?

It's here.

Right.

Have you got all the dog stuff? Yeah, I've got it. Yeah. All good.

Come here.

Good boy. Come here.

See you, boy. See ya.

See you later.

Enjoy your wine.

Will do. Come on.

Go on, mate. Talk soon. Yeah.

Good meeting ya.

Ash?

Ash, you here?

What are you saying?

What are you saying?

Nup, OK.

Fuck!

What have you got?

You had nothing! Alright, I'm not done.

That one is done. This one is not done, so fuckin'...

I'm back, bitch!

Captioned by Ai-Media ai-media. tv

Captioned by Ai-Media ai-media. tv