Original subtitles

Subtitle by @teamViki

[Чха Хун]

[Юн Чхэ Гён]

[Чу Джон Хёк]

[О Джин Сок / Чон Бин]

[Пак Со Ын]

[Гав и Мяу - Ты любишь меня?]

[Серия 1. A CATLIKE MAN vs A DOGLIKE WOMAN]

Mmm, that smell.

Three iced Americanos, please…

[NAME: MEONG-GU] Take-out, right?

[AGE: SEVEN / SEX: MALE] Yes.

You came alone today.

Where are your friends?

That will be 9,000 won.

I'll call you when the drinks are ready.

Did you see that?

- He looked at me like I'm an insect. - Yeah.

He has the look of…

- What? - An a-hole.

An asshole?

They say looks are not everything.

That's meant for my owner, Ha-jun.

Destined to perpetual singlehood,

[THE CATLIKE MAN / KIM HA-JUN] he only attended all-boys schools.

He is a cheerful person by nature but has a crucial weakness.

[A-REUM, HA-JUN'S CRUSH / EXCITED TO GET HIS CONFESSION]

The females. No, I mean women.

They freeze him.

The more he likes them,

the worse it is.

Ha-jun!

Let's do this!

So?

So,

well…

Say it.

I

You…

Did I give you back the book on programming?

What are you doing?

What?

You're an idiot.

Seriously…

[H. KIM OF ENGINEERING]

[HE ALMOST ASKED OUT A GIRL / SHE CALLED HIM AN IDIOT LOL]

[HE'S LIKE A SIAMESE CAT LOL]

[HE DESERVES THAT. HE'S A JERK.]

[I DON'T LIKE HIM. HATE THE WAY HE TALKS]

[WHAT A WASTE OF THAT PRETTY FACE]

[HE SHOULD'VE JUST WRITTEN A LETTER]

[SHE CALLED HIM AN IDIOT THOUGH ROFL]

[LOL]

That's when he decided

that he'd rather be an asshole than an idiot.

That's it! Nice!

- Four years after that… - To hell with couples.

He's still single.

- Get closer! - Stop!

- Closer! - After college,

he's been preparing to launch a startup with his friends.

They're also both single. They've never had girlfriends.

Let's just have coffee.

Coffee's best when it's free.

I'm not going back to that cafe.

So, the girls there tried to talk to you?

Did they say bad things after?

Be true to yourself.

You don't have to be an asshole on purpose.

It's better to be a coward than an asshole. Cowards are nicer.

I'm not sure if you've heard,

but the girl that works in the basement

said he reminds her of a sassy Siamese cat.

That was hilarious.

Who would expect that

whenever he's with a girl,

♪ Oh, I'm too shy, I can't even glance at you ♪

♪ I've fallen in love, I'm a shy boy ♪

♪ Gee, gee, gee, gee Baby, baby, baby ♪

- Hey! - Hey!

Eat this, bastards.

Stop!

Don't be mad.

Meong-gu's the only one that gives me any comfort.

Where do I find a girl like Meong-gu?

A doglike woman?

Yeah.

A doglike woman

that's more expressive with her feelings, like a puppy.

[A DOGLIKE WOMAN NEVER SHY TO EXPRESS HER FEELINGS / CHA DO-HUI]

Hey, babe. When are you coming back?

I'm almost there,

- but I think I need rest today. - Hmph.

- Don't you miss me? - Of course, I miss you.

I'll see you as soon as I get better.

Okay. See you.

- I love you. - Love you, too.

Wait.

What?

I'll be outside. Talk to her.

Hey.

What is this?

What?

What are you doing here? I told you I'd come.

Do you have nothing better to do?

You're like a dog waiting for its owner.

This is why I grew sick of you.

Girls should know how to play hard-to-get.

You're too clingy.

- Son of a bitch… - Son of a what?

Now I see what you're really like.

Hey.

Hey!

I'm talking to you, bitch!

We're through.

The end.

It's over.

I like how you're so cool about it.

From now on,

my approach to guys will be cold and sassy.

No. You just have to pick the right guy.

You don't have any problems.

You're like a dog waiting for its owner.

A guy treating me like a dog…

Never ever

is that going to happen.

The "Pet Keeper" is

an application that keeps your pets healthy.

You only have to put your pet's urine on the strip,

put it on the color scheme, and take a picture with your phone.

Our aim is to expand into a platform for pet health care.

If you invest in our company,

we're confident we'll become the new leader in the pet care industry.

Thank you.

Awesome!

That was good!

This is what you have to show girls.

What a waste.

We've had enough talk about girls.

There's something more important.

I just got a call from Mom.

My mom talked to a fortuneteller about us.

- She did? And? - So?

All three of us

will see from the north, west, east, and south

no women at all.

That sounds scary. I got chills.

Wait.

How about in the southeast or southwest?

That's genius.

I'm flattered.

Are you serious?

Okay.

Let's bring out the cards, shall we?

- Good. - Okay!

Ask your questions.

Well,

will we ever get girls?

That might be difficult.

I'll burn it.

Slow down. That only suggests a possibility.

It might also be easy.

It's never been easy.

If it had been, why are we still single?

Let me do one this time.

When will we get girls?

Smart. It's better to be specific.

Read it for me.

You need a change.

Change?

I think that's a good thing.

Right. Just one change, and I'll get girls.

Of course.

You can do this!

- Yeah. - It's good.

You try it.

Will I ever meet someone organically and fall in love?

Don't push yourself too hard.

That means you just have to take it easy and relax.

If you push yourself, you're bound to overstep.

That ruins relationships.

You can stay chill, and it will happen.

That's a good one.

That sounds like a stretch.

I'll go this time.

Will Seo-hyeon* ever be in love with me? (A member of the girl group SNSD)

She'd have to first know that you exist.

No. It'll be fine.

You only need to accept.

Her, as my wife?

You should know by now.

Just accept it.

I'll stay a fan of hers.

Will my first love come true?

Things will be even better.

- Hey! - Is this really happening?

I believe in you!

- We all do! - Amen.

- Amen it is! - What should we do now?

A blind date? We might have a wedding soon.

You've got to face the reality.

Stop with your obsession over Seo-hyeon.

But she took my heart for good.

It agonizes me, too.

I'm no different than you, actually. We're never getting any girls like this.

I can't talk to girls, either, so count me in.

We all have problems.

Hey.

I've been thinking.

Hear me out.

How about we…

A dating consultant?

[TOP-NOTCH COUNSELING ON DATING] Is this really a thing?

[BECOME A MASTER OF DATING] You didn't know?

How would you feel about a guy who signs up for that?

Oh, please.

What? He might be romantic.

No. He'd be a playboy.

[DATING CONSULTANT] Most guys just do what the girls like.

But

you have to know what they hate.

Another important thing is to create

tension.

Some guys don't know that, and that's why they fail in love.

They just go in head-on.

And the girls?

They'll only get scared.

So,

when a girl seems interested in you,

you have to push her away a little.

Don't forget.

Then, she's going to want you even more.

And your romance will be a success.

This is the part where you applaud.

That was just a teaser.

For ten hours of detailed lectures,

five hours of rehearsal, and support in five actual dates,

it will be one million won per person.

It's that expensive?

This is not expensive at all. Others charge more.

You don't believe me?

You didn't do your research, did you?

No.

- Seriously? - No.

Oh, my god.

Okay. Let me give you a bargain.

2.5 million won for the three of you!

This one here doesn't seem too happy…

But this is really the best I can do.

Tomorrow, it's back to the regular price, 1.5 million per person.

Don't miss out on this.

We'll need some time to think.

Well, in that case, you can go home and take your time.

Make a wise choice. And for the money,

bank transfer is also fine.

We'll discuss it and call you back. Sorry.

No problem.

Right, I have another meeting soon.

Why are you still here?

You can go now.

Bye.

Take your time.

I'll see you.

Good bye.

2.5 million is steep.

We need at least some money to live on.

Or how about this?

One person can take the course and share with us.

- Yeah? - That's not bad.

I'll do it. I've never had any girls.

I'll do it. I have an actual problem with girls.

You had your chance with one at least. Although you got rejected.

Don't talk about that.

Okay.

Let's make it fair and do

rock paper scissors.

Deal.

Mom, which one should I go with?

Ready?

No backsies.

Okay.

Rock paper scissors!

♫ This is so good ♫

♫ This feels so good ♫

♫ now that I've met you ♫

[WOOF & MEOW CINEMA / feat. CALMING SIGNAL]

Hey, guys.

This is the "Woof & Meow Cinema" where we analyze

our owners' behavior.

Will you just stop?

[NAME: ANNA / AGE: SIX] Stop fooling around,

[SEX: FEMALE] Myeon-gu.

Just a little bit more will do.

Whatever it is, it's not going to work.

When is the show starting anyway?

Guys.

Sorry about the wait.

[CINEMA PART-TIMER] I heard today's show is amazing.

Sounds good.

It's starting! I'm so excited.

Let's focus.

Let's do this.

Or how about this?

[ALMOND EYES] [THAT LOOKS INTERESTING!]

[CATS HAS ALMOND EYES WHEN THEY FIND SOMETHING INTERESTING.]

You had your chance with one at least. Although you got rejected.

Don't talk about that.

That was intense.

Why are they so serious?

They're discussing ways to get girls.

You're kidding.

So, do they have something?

Hmm?

Nope!

Poor souls.

Wait!

You know, my owner's a girl.

- Should we hook them up? - Should we hook them up?

That won't work.

- Agreed. - Never.

- Never. - Never. Ew.

- Still, maybe… - Still, maybe…

[WOOF & MEOW - DO YOU LOVE ME?]