Original subtitles

-[mouse clicking] -[keyboard clacking]

[AOL dial-up sign-in tones]

[AOL voice, on speakers] Welcome. You've got mail.

[mouse clicking]

[on speakers] We are releasing our fourth

and final quarterly report

on public and private efforts...

[messages chime]

...to address the Y2K computer problem.

The report shows that our hard work

-in this country -[keyboard clacking]

is paying off,

and while there is more to do, I expect we will experience

no major national breakdowns

as a result of the year 2000 date change.

['90s electronic dance music playing]

[keyboard clacking]

[chimes]

-[keyboard clacking] -[chimes]

♪ We've come a long, long way together ♪

[chimes]

♪ Through the hard times and the good ♪

♪ I have to celebrate you, baby ♪

[chimes]

♪ I have to praise you like I should ♪

-[keyboard clacking] -[chimes]

[video game sounds]

[girl] Seniors rule the school!

Hey, bitch! Surge, up!

[boy] Get over here, junior.

Hey, that's my head!

[music continues playing]

[chimes]

"XOXO".

[keyboard clacking]

What are you doing for NYE?

[messages chime]

Huh.

♪ I have to praise you like I should ♪

[chuckles]

♪ I have to praise you ♪

♪ I have to praise you ♪

♪ I have to praise you like I should ♪

♪ I have to praise you ♪

♪ I have to praise you ♪

[Robin] Another boring New Year's

at the Mendenhall's for us.

What about you?

Any lucky lady gonna get the midnight kiss?

We're just gonna, like, chill

and watch a movie or something.

[Howard] That's good.

You know, there's a lot of weirdos out there tonight,

plus with this whole computer virus bug thing.

-I don't know. -Yeah, I'm sure we'll die

as soon as we leave the house after dark.

-Come on. -Well, I think it's great

that you're not putting pressure on yourself

for the big kiss.

You have plenty of time.

You ever French kiss before?

Your mom taught me in college.

She was ready to go, if you know what I mean.

Jesus Christ.

I don't wanna hear that.

See you next year. I love you.

-[Howard] Hey, Robin. -[kisses]

Give him some air, come on.

-Yeah, I'll see you. -Check this out.

Get my news on here and everything.

-You can? -Yeah.

-It's about Enron. -[music continues playing]

♪ I have to praise you ♪

♪ I have to praise you ♪

♪ I have to praise you ♪

♪ I have to praise you ♪

♪ I have to praise you ♪

♪ I have to praise you ♪

♪ I have to praise you ♪

♪ I have to praise you like I should ♪

♪ I have to praise you ♪

[music fades out]

-Your mom got a pool? -Yeah.

And you're going for a swim, bitch. Wah!

Whoa, whoa. Watch the Kostons.

Watch the Kostons, though, for real.

Sorry, bro.

[snaps fingers]

-[grunts] -Ooh, Lord Sticky.

Sire. Come.

Four minutes left, sweetheart. [panting]

There's my other son.

How do you look more handsome

-every time I see you? -Pssh. Ah, I don't know.

One of these days,

you're gonna leave me for a Herbal Essence girl.

-[chuckles] -[dance music playing on TV]

Dog, stop flirting with my mom.

[both panting]

[trainer] 3, 2, 3, 4.

[music fades out]

[Danny] Damn.

The whole gang in Foreman's basement.

-You bring the shit? -Yeah.

You gotta stop leaving this under my pillow.

I'm the rubber fairy. Okay? It's what I do.

You ready to fuck all night?

[sighs] Yeah. Hell yeah.

-[Danny] Blow harder. -[Eli] I am blowing.

[blowing]

Oh, did you, um...

Did you do your AP Comp essay yet?

Yeah. It was about how you were able

to go through puberty without your balls dropping.

Modern miracle.

It's funny, man. It's really funny.

It was funny. That's why I said it.

['90s rock music playing on speakers]

[Danny] Andrea.

Uh, I don't know, maybe.

Maybe?

Sticky.

Andrea the Giant.

Andrea the Giant Boobies.

That's literally what they call her.

Dude, I don't know.

They... These girls are like our friends.

God, can you let your cock out to breathe for five seconds?

Or are you still holding out for that hot popular chick

who sometimes talks to you in Spanish class?

Well, Laura, she wrote "XOXO" to me on AIM earlier.

Then fucking ask her out. No.

Isn't she 69ing some college guy?

Community college.

Okay, so he can only get

an associate's degree in 69ing.

Danny, you don't know what you're talking about.

-[computer beeps] -[gasps] We got nip.

[Eli] She is so mature.

[Danny] Honestly, those areolas? Fuck.

[man, on radio] Computer bug got you ready to break stuff?

Limp Bizkit is ringing in the Y2K apocalypse tonight

-at Crawford Arena. -Check it.

-Oh, dude, play that shit. -Yep.

[man] And we've got two tickets courtesy of Fred Durst.

I've always wanted to do that.

Mmm.

[groovy rock music playing on speakers]

Dude, I've always wanted to see this.

It looks tight.

"Nothing is inconceivable."

-[chuckles] -[doorbell chimes]

[Eli] Oh, shit, is that Raleigh?

She was like decked out in Abercrombie a month ago.

[chuckles] Yeah.

You know, I heard her parents made her get X-rays

and she had, like, holes in her brain

from all the ecstasy.

Nah, dude, that's a myth.

Tsk. Whatever, man.

What's up, Garrett?

D-Man, E-Boy, what's good?

Yo.

How about one on the Gar-ster? [chuckles]

Ah, Junior. Arnie's having a baby.

Garrett, can you settle this for us?

Does, um, ecstasy put holes in your brain?

I mean, effects of MDMA

on brain matter are still under broad dispute.

Many studies have been criticized

for lack of evidence, inherent bias, et cetera.

Scientists just be, like, hella un-rigorous.

[both chuckle]

But, um...

-Yo. -[door shuts]

You foolios want to hit up the champagne room real quick?

-Pssh. Yeah. -Yeah, I'm down.

[chuckling]

[meditation music playing]

[sizzling]

[Garrett] E-Boy?

Um, no.

-[Garrett] D? -Hmm, yeah.

Wise choice, young squire.

[sizzling]

[exhales]

[coughing]

Oh, damn, that's hitting for you right there, fool.

This is the life for me, know what I'm saying?

No customers, just me, the tapes, some bomb-ass kush.

Gets my brain flowing, for real.

I start thinking about some crazy shit.

Like, shit that makes you go, "What the fuck?"

[indistinct echoing]

You ever fucking...

You go to the grocery store, right?

And it's like you're picking up shit,

and you're like, "Oh, I'mma grab some Q-Tips."

[echoing] But it's, like, that's... that's the brand.

It's actually cotton swabs.

Kleenex, that's another one, 'cause that's a facial tissue.

Start thinking about, like,

the fucking first few colonies.

That must have been wild.

Like, "Oh, we're in the country.

Grab your musket. You can borrow my mine.

Yeah, sure, you can borrow my musket."

I guess that's why they call it

[distorting] the American Revolution. [chuckles]

Words are a fucking trip.

Yeah, you know what I'm saying?

Laser, right?

Laser.

Why'd they spell that with an S?

That's like interesting to me.

See what I'm talking about? Trippy shit.

-[sizzling] -[distortion and echoing ends]

Oh, snap.

Bunch of the homies are mobbing

to the old factory at midnight.

Y'all should roll through.

Sounds like fun for the whole family.

[chuckles] Yeah, if the whole family

likes tripping balls, which, uh, some do.

[chuckling]

So, what? You, like, smoke now?

Ugh. Is that okay, mom?

[Farkas] Oh, shit!

[softly] Oh, shit.

-It's Big Nut and Little Nut. -[boys laughing]

Hey! Yo, you guys still squeegeeing pussy

for the girls' basketball team or what's up?

That's not what equipment managers do.

[Farkas] What?

I'm sorry, I don't speak bitch-ass.

-What'd you just say? -[boys laughing]

[boy] Fuck him up, Farkas.

[Farkas] You gotta speak up louder, dog.

I don't know what the fuck you just said.

-Huh? Let's do it. Let's go. -[Ash] Yo, yo, yo.

This fucking tubby motherfucker

"yo quiero Taco Bell" so bad, he ate the fucking chihuahua.

[boys laughing]

[boys howling]

Hey, fuck these bozos, man.

Hey, August, give me a beat real quick.

Come on.

-[beatboxing] -Ah.

Ay, yo.

[rapping] ♪ Big Nut, Little Nut ♪

♪ Walkin' to the car ♪

♪ You can't go far 'cause you got a big scar ♪

♪ You slow like molasses My flow is the fastest ♪

♪ Soggy, wet condom straight... ♪

♪ Coming out your asses ♪

[bullies exclaiming, laughing]

[boy] Yes!

[Farkas] Fuck yeah.

Wack-ass bitch.

[Eli] He's actually a decent rapper.

-Fruit chewy cookies. -[door opens]

-[doorbell chimes] -[softly] Oh, shit, dude.

[doorbell chimes]

-RoxyGurl. -[indistinct chatter]

[whispering] Talk to her, dude.

-No, I'm not... -Talk to her.

God is fucking smiling down on you.

-No. Stop. Stop. -Talk to her.

You're being a bitch.

You're being a... You're being a bitch.

Hey, Laura.

-[Laura] Hey. -What's up, Laura?

What's up, y'all?

Go Crusaders.

I'm just kidding. School sucks, right?

-What? -Are we doing this?

I got lookout.

[scoffs]

What's up, dude?

Feliz año nuevo.

Gracias, amiga.

-[chuckles] -Uh, 2000, though.

-Crazy. -Right?

Where are the flying cars they promised us?

Totally.

Um, oh, I saw workers putting in, like,

new or better internet at Crawford today,

and I was all like,

"I definitely know a genius who's gonna love that

in AP Computer Science next year."

[chuckles] Finally, right?

DSL at last.

I don't know, though, 'cause Amber and Madison

kind of want to take Yearbook to get the easy grade, so...

[man] No perishables?

-Fuck me I guess. -[door opens]

Um, so just getting

-a couple of cans of Surge? -[door shuts]

Deli meats?

It's top secret actually.

-It's a booze bolt. -Oh.

Could use some backup.

No, that's illegal.

[in British accent] Naughty, naughty girl.

[indistinct chatter]

-[whispering] Fuck her. -[Laura] Anyways, uh,

we're actually going to Chris' New Year's thing.

It's gonna be a total shit show, so.

Chris Kulhken?

Oh, Soccer Chris, yeah.

Um, just you, booze bolt crew, and, like, boyfriend just...

Um, me and Jonas broke up, actually.

Oh, wow.

Um... You okay?

[Laura] Just gonna take some time

-and focus on me. -[kids giggling]

-You suck at lookout, bitch. -[bottles clinking]

See ya.

['90s pop rock song playing]

♪ ...of heartache that hang from above ♪

[laughter]

♪ And I'll be your cryin' shoulder ♪

♪ I'll be love's suicide ♪

♪ And I'll... ♪

-[music continues on speakers] -[sighs]

I'm gonna need you to pay for this.

[Larry] Everything is perfectly normal.

Except for the fact that the mom is also the dad.

This is pathetic.

Our parents are having fun right now.

I mean, our parents are cooler than us.

We could be at a party right now.

But I want my baby. And I need your help.

[sighs] Why are you so desperate to be ignored

by a bunch of puka shell assholes?

[sighs] That is such an excuse.

Sticky, you're being a pussy.

-I'm not a pussy. -Yes, you are.

You basically cried when I smoked earlier.

Yeah?

Yeah, you're being a pussy.

Yeah?

Would a pussy do this?

Oh, shit! Eli, that was sick!

Thanks. Whew.

[pants]

Damn, dude.

[groaning, inhales]

[groans] Get over here, motherfucker.

Open up. Take a swig. [exclaims]

[gags]

[coughs, retching]

-It's so smooth. -Smooth, right?

-[breathing heavily] -I say let's do it.

I say let's go to the party.

-I don't know, dude. -Listen, okay?

In a few hours, you have a built-in excuse

to kiss the newly single girl of your dreams.

[inhales, exhales]

Maybe it's the booze talking.

But...

fuck it, dude!

Let's do it. What, what, what...

Fuck it, dude. What are we doing?

Fuck it! Let's go!

My boy's en fuego.

[grunting]

Let's go to the party.

-[dance rock music playing] -♪ I get knocked down ♪

♪ But I get up again ♪

♪ You're never gonna keep me down ♪

♪ I get knocked down ♪

♪ But I get up again ♪

♪ You're never gonna keep me down ♪

♪ Pissing the night away ♪

♪ Pissing the night away ♪

♪ He drinks a whiskey drink He drinks a vodka drink ♪

♪ He drinks a lager drink He drinks a cider drink ♪

♪ He sings songs that remind him of the good times ♪

-Dude. -♪ He sings the songs ♪

♪ That remind him of the better times ♪

♪ Oh, Danny boy ♪

-[both howling] -♪ Danny boy ♪

♪ Danny boy ♪

[both cheering]

-[Danny] Yeah! -We're doing it!

[music fades out]

[R&B music playing on speakers]

[lively chatter, cheering]

Ah, I need a drink.

No.

-What is Kelso doing here? -[sighs]

Tonight, Kelso's our guide.

No, no, no, I'm not walking to the party

-with some lame action figure. -Ah, who cares?

Just like what you like.

And we can learn a lot from Kelso.

We could say we have this for a reason.

Because it was stuck in a copy of The Giver at the library?

Just watch.

One of these days, maybe even tonight,

one of us is gonna use it.

[R&B music playing on speakers]

[lively chatter]

Damn.

Everyone's here.

-[bubblegum pop music playing] -♪ I'm craving for you ♪

♪ I'm missing you like candy ♪

-♪ Yeah ♪ -♪ Missing... ♪

['90s trance music playing]

-['90s rap music playing] -♪ Kill all that wack shit ♪

♪ Ah, this is how we chill from '93 'til ♪

['90s rockabilly music playing]

♪ Oh, Switchblade 327 ♪

♪ Lit cigarette in his hand ♪

['90s nu metal music playing]

♪ Something takes a part of me ♪

-[music fades out] -All right, let's do this.

['90s rap music playing on speakers]

[lively chatter]

Andrea.

Hey, Lisa.

Hey.

-[music stops] -[crowd whining]

Dude. Dude, the mix.

Oh, shit.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. -The mix, yeah.

[Thong Song by Sisqó playing on speakers]

♪ This thing right here ♪

[crowd cheering]

♪ Is letting all the ladies know ♪

-Oh, this is my song, Eli! -♪ What guys talk about ♪

♪ You know The finer things in life ♪

♪ Check it out ♪

♪ Ooh, that dress so scandalous ♪

♪ And you know another... can't handle it ♪

♪ So you shaking that thing like who's the ish ♪

♪ With a look in your eyes so devilish, uh ♪

♪ You like to dance at all the hip-hop spots ♪

♪ Then you cruise to the crews ♪

♪ Like connect the dots ♪

♪ Not just urban She likes the pop ♪

♪ 'Cause she was livin' la vida loca ♪

♪ She had dumps like a truck, truck, truck ♪

♪ Thighs like what, what, what ♪

♪ Baby, move your butt, butt, butt ♪

♪ I think I'll sing it again ♪

♪ She had dumps like a truck, truck, truck ♪

♪ Thighs like what, what, what ♪

♪ All night long ♪

-♪ Let me see that thong ♪ -[laughter, cheering]

♪ I like it when the beat goes Da na da na ♪

♪ Baby, make your booty go Da na da na ♪

-♪ Baby! ♪ -♪ I know you wanna show ♪

♪ Da na da na, that thong thong, thong, thong ♪

♪ I like it when the beat goes Da na da na ♪

♪ Baby, make your booty go Da na da na ♪

[crowd] Hey!

♪ Girl, I know you wanna show Da na da na ♪

♪ That thong, thong, thong, thong, listen ♪

-♪ That girl's so scandalous ♪ -[all] Hey! Ho! Hey! Ho!

♪ And I know another... couldn't handle it ♪

♪ And she's shaking that thing like who's the ish ♪

♪ With a look in her eyes so devilish, uh ♪

♪ She like to dance at all the hip-hop spots ♪

♪ And she cruise to the crews ♪

♪ Like connect the dots ♪

♪ Not just urban She likes the pop ♪

♪ 'Cause she was livin' la vida loca ♪

♪ She had dumps like a truck, truck, truck ♪

♪ Thighs like what, what, what... ♪

Miss Booze Bolt.

So you didn't get arrested, huh?

No, I did.

It's just I snuck out for the party.

Oh, that's good. That's good.

Yeah, yeah. You do not want to miss Cory Flock

spitting game with a full-on boner.

[Laura] Oh, my God.

That is disturbing.

Um, is Raleigh good?

Yeah.

Oh, I'm... I don't know.

It's just kind of weird how, uh, people change.

Yeah. No, I'll never change.

-Hmm. -Unless there's something

that you think should be different about me.

I'll... I'll... [blows]

I'll change in an instant for...

You ever considered a haircut?

I didn't expect you to come up

-with an answer right away. -[chuckles]

There she is.

What's up, little guy?

-Soccer Chris. -[Soccer Chris] Uh-oh.

Laura, what are you drinking?

-[boy 1] Hope it's not vodka. -Oh, my God. No, no, guys.

Please, I thought the vodka man

was banished after the snowboarding trip.

Never. Where there's vodka, I'll be drunk.

[boys laughing]

[boy 2] It's so fucking funny!

Hey, shots.

Kitchen. Let's go.

Let's go. Come on, yeah.

-Okay, all right, sorry. -[whoops]

[Laura] Later, Eli.

[Eli] See you, vodka man.

Hey, man.

Do you like Laura?

Um, I don't... I don't know.

'Cause, um, I was gonna say

if you're thinking about going for it,

definitely don't.

You're a fucking dud.

-Peace. -[blow lands]

Goddamn it.

Nice Kostons, poser.

What up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up?

It's your boy, Farkas, coming at you live.

It's 1999 and we getting high.

[growls] And drunk!

What's up, y'all? Let's say what's up to the crew, man.

Yeah! Ash!

Fucking crazy bitch.

Give me back my camera, you fucking asshole.

[Farkas] Man, are you listening to this bozo?

Dude, are you hearing this shit?

Are you for real, man?

Ash, yo, please,

please tell me you're getting this shit.

-Are you seeing this? -I can see it.

[Farkas] Yo, I mean, be real, dog.

Nobody can touch Limp, obviously.

-Trash. -Come on.

-[Ash] Fred Durst? -Man, fucking shut the fuck up

before I fuck your ass up, man. What the fuck?

I don't listen to that mainstream fucking bullshit.

Yeah, you don't listen to mainstream bullshit,

'cause you're a pretentious fucking ding-dong.

What's the matter with you? [laughs] All right, whatever.

Then name something better then.

Okay, I will.

Gift of Gab, Del, Freestyle Fellowship.

Literally anyone on Soundbombing II.

[scoffs] Underground MCs spit like real shit.

-Truth. Always. -[Farkas] Yeah, real shit.

[CJ] Yeah, nothing that you would know about.

-Yeah, okay, whatever. -All you listen to

is that corporate bullshit.

-Uh-huh. -Yeah, you're a drone.

I'm a drone?

Oh, yeah, I'm a sucker, huh?

Well, guess what, bitch?

Your cup is not in your fucking hand, bitch.

That's real as fuck.

What you gonna do about it, huh?

What you gonna do about it, huh?

[Ash and Farkas laughing]

[vocalizing vibrations]

That shit is fucking sick, man.

Yo, Eli. Over here, dude.

This is my boy, Eli.

He took this loser Kiwi in

when I first moved here in seventh grade.

We saw our first pair of titties

on an episode of Arliss. You know?

And uh, the Ocarina incident.

I'll always be sorry about that.

Wait, what's the Ocarina incident?

-Oh, no. -Okay, so last summer,

he's basically using me to play Ocarina of Time.

[girl] Oh, that weird video game?

Yeah, so he goes to the bathroom

and I think to myself,

-I'm gonna pee in his coke. -[group laughing]

-[girls] No! -Yeah, just a little bit.

I just wanted to see if he would notice.

[boy] Oh my God, you drank piss.

[girl] Yeah, I guess he likes piss.

So, where's your girlfriend?

Dude, enough with the goddamn condom.

Why are you being an asshole right now?

Dude, what? No, you should be thanking me.

I'm... I'm doing all the work for both of us.

All the work?

You just told half the school that I drank your piss.

Jesus Christ.

We came here for you, so you could get with Laura.

[snorts] My God. Piss-mouth likes Laura?

Like, what do you want from me?

I can't make friends for you,

and I can't kiss Laura for you.

Look, fuck you, man.

[girl] Almost midnight!

[boy] Ooh! I'm right after you, baby!

Laura?

[girl laughing in room]

-[bed whirring] -[Aiden] This bed is crazy.

We could do mad positions on this thing.

Oh.

[both laughing]

Enjoying the show, perv?

[boy] Here we go!

[crowd] Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,

-[in slow-mo] five... -['90s trip hop music playing]

...four, three,

two, one!

♪ I've got a head full of drought ♪

♪ Down here ♪

♪ So far off losing out ♪

♪ Round here ♪

♪ Overground ♪

♪ Watch this space ♪

-[crowd cheering] -[party horn blowing]

Dude.

You're the man.

Yo.

It'll happen for you, too, bro.

No, I know. I just feel like a fucking nobody.

Don't fucking say that, okay? This is...

This is gonna be our year, okay?

No, fuck that.

This is gonna be our millennium.

Lord Sticky?

Yeah.

-[power shuts off] -[music stops]

[girl] Hey!

-[speakers crackling] -[crowd exclaiming]

Y2K is real.

[all laughing]

[electricity crackling]

[suspenseful music playing]

[rumbling]

-[Aiden] No! [screaming] -[Raleigh screaming]

-What the fuck! -[crowd murmuring]

[Raleigh, screaming] Stop, stop, stop!

[Raleigh screaming]

-Fuck! -[crowd gasping]

My parents are gonna kill me!

Aiden.

-Shit! -[crowd gasping]

[Raleigh, shuddering] It's...

It's the bed.

The bed did it.

Raleigh, what happened?

The bed started jerking up and down.

-Bullshit! -[Raleigh] It launched him.

She killed Aiden.

[whirring]

Uh, did anyone see that?

We need to call an ambulance. The cops. His... his parents.

Let me just think for a minute.

-Soccer Chris? -It's... It's the house.

This is your brain on drugs, folks.

Chick's been rolling since homecoming.

[Eli] Soccer Chris.

-Somebody's dead. -I know, Laura.

-Yo, Soccer Chris. -It's Chris.

Not fucking Soccer Chris.

And who the fuck are you anyway?

[boy 1] Dude, that's Piss-mouth.

[boy 2] Yeah, he drank piss.

[crowd laughing]

Sorry.

[whirring]

[suspenseful music playing]

[girl] What's that? [laughs]

[crowd murmuring]

[whirring]

[clicks, beeps]

Damn, that's pimp as hell.

Who's controlling the car?

[whirring]

Huh?

[phone beeps]

[AOL dial-up sign-in tones]

[static]

Someone's on the net.

[whirring]

[chuckling]

Dumbass.

I use gel.

[whirring]

[clicks]

[AOL voice] You've got mail.

-[whooshing] -[crowd screaming]

-[razor whirring] -[screaming]

[crowd screaming]

Raleigh!

[shrieks]

[sobbing]

[gasping, shrieks]

[sobbing] Oh, my God!

[groans]

[crowd screaming]

[blender whirring]

[screaming]

Cory Flock.

[waste disposal unit whirring]

-[screaming] -[squirting]

Thank you. Thank you.

Laura, let's roll.

We... We need to find Raleigh.

Fuck that. Come on.

No.

Fine.

Die with these losers.

Guess I will, asshole.

Um, don't admit that we're losers.

-[scoffs] -[dishwasher beeps]

-[groans] -[microwave beeping]

-[electricity crackling] -[screaming]

[gasps]

[microwave beeps]

Go, go.

Dude, score.

Help!

Let us in!

-Come on. -Laura...

Hey.

-I've been looking for you. -[whirring]

-[drill whirring] -[screams]

[screaming]

[shouting]

-[whirring] -[Laura screaming]

[gasping]

[whirring stops]

[whirring]

[beeping]

We're gonna die. Fuck.

Screw it.

[panting]

Five, six, seven, eight!

-[shrieks] -[beeping]

[powering down]

Shit. [grunts]

Tae Bo, bitch!

Oh, fuck. Fuckin' Billy Blanks.

[Farkas] Holy shit!

Damn, Big Nut! Saved the motherfuckin' day.

-Yeah, I guess so. -[Farkas] Yeah, well, eat shit.

[crowd screaming in distance]

Open up the motherfucking door!

[door creaking]

Yo, you just fuckin' chillin' in here dolo?

Hello. Danny.

[Ash] Move, pussy.

[clattering, thudding in distance]

Laura.

We gotta go.

[Danny] What the hell is going on out there?

[Eli] They're, like, combining or something.

Dude, a Tamagotchi just drilled

through a chick's head.

What if it's... What if it's only Soccer Chris' house?

[sighs] No, it could be the whole town.

Wake up, numbnuts.

We're talking Y2K here, okay? Global Computer Apocalypse.

But they predicted it. They knew it was coming.

What gives?

Do I have to spell it out for you, man?

President Blowjob. He planned it all.

Society's fucking dumb as hell.

-Just let it burn. -Yeah, fuck yeah.

I say we just rebuild from the ashes.

Whoa, enough, Anarchy Squad.

It's a bug.

AI consciousness pushing a sentient worm command

to every processing chip around the world.

Translation?

Goodbye, human race.

What the fuck?

So now Shitney Spears thinks she's a hacker?

Whoa, she knows more than you do.

Laura's a coding whiz.

[Farkas] A girl that knows computers? My ass.

Yeah, she practically built the entire Crawford web portal

on her own. It's... It's pretty sick.

Eli, put your boner away.

-[crashing] -God, we're so fucked.

God, somebody tell this bitch to stop crying all the time.

We need a plan.

Yo, let's just hotwire the Benz

and roll the fuck out.

What happens when you turn that thing on

and it tries to fucking kill us?

Bring it, bitch.

I'll be riding that shit straight to Kabul.

[Ash and Farkas chuckle]

[CJ] Do you ever listen to yourself?

[Farkas] I listen to your mom jacking me off.

The old factory.

We go to the old factory.

-[Danny] The stoner kickback? -[Eli] Garrett's thing?

[Laura] It's safe. No electricity.

No computers.

And Jonas, my boyf... my ex-boyfriend,

he's an engineering major. He'll know what to do.

[Farkas] Yeah. No, dude.

I'm not listening to binary code Barbie over here.

And I'm definitely not going to fucking listen

to the dumbass

that pissed in the other fucking dumbass's Pepsi.

You know what, Fark-ass?

Shut the fuck up!

-[tense music playing] -Yeah, yeah, shut the fuck up,

'cause me and Eli have been dealing with your shit forever

and we're sick of it.

You know, you can do what you want,

but the rest of us,

we're going to the old factory.

And you're invited, motherfucker.

Yep, and it was Coke, bitch.

[exhales]

-[banging on door] -[boy] Please don't!

Oh, my God, it's coming! We're fucked!

-[Ash] Wait. -[boy] Help me!

-[boy screaming] -[slamming]

Grab a bike, grab a board, grab whatever you can.

[tense music playing]

Yo, I almost made X Games Prelims in '97.

About to tear these streets up.

[muffled whirring]

-[muffled whirring] -[Danny] I got the door.

Let's do it, Big Nut.

-[loud thud] -Ah, fuck!

Okay, on three.

-[whirring] -Three, two...

[sighs] Fuck, Eli.

Your forgetful ass will be screwed without me.

-[whirring] -[gasps]

[groaning]

-Danny! -[shouts]

Eli!

[groaning]

[whirring]

-Oh, fuck. Come on. Come on. -[shouts]

[whirring]

[groaning]

[whirring]

-[Ash] Get back! -[Farkas] Fuck!

Come on, Sticky. We gotta go.

[groaning]

-[breathing heavily] -Come on.

-[grunting] -[loud thud]

[Eli] We're getting out of here, man, let's go.

[Farkas] Yo, get the door!

I think I'm just gonna chill here.

[Eli] No, no, man, I got you.

[somber music playing]

I was... I was pretty smooth tonight.

[both chuckling]

Man, you're so...

I can never be that cool.

[Ash] Come on!

[Danny, breathing heavily] Eli...

just do you.

Take it.

-Come on. -Let's bounce.

Let's get out of here.

[Farkas] Let's go before the garage door

fucking kills us.

Come on, Eli, we gotta go.

[machine whirring]

We gotta go now.

Come on.

[whirring]

-[Ash] That was fucking close. -[car crashing]

Oh, shit.

[Break Stuff by Limp Bizkit playing]

Go time, motherfuckers.

♪ It's just one of those days ♪

♪ Where you don't wanna wake up ♪

-Whoa! [groans] -[music stops]

[thud]

Oh, snap.

-[siren blaring in distance] -[helicopter whirring]

Fuck, dude!

[Ash panting]

-Hey, get up. Get up, man. -[somber music playing]

Fucking get up, man.

-He's iced, come on. -[gasping]

No.

-[Laura] Oh, my God. -[Eli] Oh, no, no, no!

[Eli] Come on, we gotta go.

Fuck.

[loud crashing]

[heavy footsteps]

[whirring]

[menacing music playing]

[buzzing]

[whirring]

[beeping]

[static]

[whirring]

[blaring]

[distant explosions]

[distant explosions]

[Laura] Everybody cool?

The hell do you think?

[grunts]

[grunting]

Whoa!

Look, I know Big Nut got merked or whatever,

but you gotta keep your fucking cool.

Fuck you.

Okay, fuck you too, then. God!

[Eli] Your camera.

-Hell no. -It's one of them.

It's gonna kill us the first chance it gets.

That's, like, racism against machines.

We don't know how this shit works, you know?

Maybe they're not all bad.

-You really wanna risk that? -Exactly. We need to kill it.

It took me years to save up for this.

Our friends are dead.

Or... Or were they just your fuck buddies?

[groans]

Damn.

[somber music playing]

Hey, come on.

Sorry.

Just something stupid that me and Danny do.

Or did.

He was lucky to have a friend like you.

[distant explosions]

[groans]

Oh!

Strong water.

Yo.

Uh, got any herb?

[scoffs]

If I did, I wouldn't waste it on you.

[chuckles]

First time I got baked was right here.

No shit. Me, too.

No, I swear. Last day of school, eighth grade,

me and the POI crew swiped from my sister's stash.

Who?

POI.

Prophets of Intelligence.

It's my hip-hop crew.

[chuckles]

I don't know. It's just like...

It's just shit that actually makes you think.

God. [chuckling]

Get over yourself, bro.

Sixth grade.

Cut class.

I rolled the skaggiest joint of all time.

Yo.

[rapping] ♪ I wish I could go back ♪

♪ To how things were before ♪

♪ Swiping beers from the corner store ♪

♪ Chilling, and drinking, and smoking, and shit ♪

♪ Year 2000 can suck my dick ♪

Weak flow.

Step up, then.

Really want this dopeness?

-Yeah. -Uh, okay.

Check it.

[rapping] ♪ Intellects, intersect ♪

♪ Redirect, reconnect ♪

♪ Why? ♪

♪ Because my third eye opens wide ♪

♪ I fly too high in a multidimensional sky ♪

Damn.

That sucked ass.

[Eli] We should keep moving.

-The old factory's close. -[exhales]

[Eli] You guys think they'll still do graduation?

[Ash] It's the end of the world.

[Eli] I don't know. They still might do it.

[suspenseful music playing]

[CJ] I'm just saying,

if it's on MTV, it fucking sucks.

[Ash] Jesus Christ.

[Eli] I kind of like it all, you know?

I don't really like music.

What the fuck?

Why are popular kids allowed to be so boring?

So I should pretend to be Slim Shady like you, right?

[CJ scoffs]

It's what I like, yo.

And maybe nobody else has the guts to say it,

but being all-state homecoming queen

or whatever the fuck your friends do,

doesn't give you the right to treat the rest of us

-like trash. -[Ash laughs]

Okay, what?

I'm nice.

I'm a nice person.

Who the fuck describes themselves as nice?

For real. We've been going

to the same school for ten years.

Did you even know my name before tonight?

[scoffs] Jesus.

CJ. My name is CJ.

Okay, so you guys are mad

that I didn't, like, talk to you?

I'm not psychic, all right?

And I didn't have some kind of master plan

to become popular. It just kind of happened.

[CJ] Oh, okay.

Being well-liked isn't a spotlight.

It's a target.

[Ash, scoffs] What?

[CJ] Damn.

You got some corny-ass problems.

[Ash chuckles]

[suspenseful music playing]

[CJ] Damn.

[Ash] You smell that?

[CJ] Whew.

-That's that dank chronic. -[Ash chuckles]

Oh, damn, what's up?

Best night ever right here.

Besides the people dying and shit.

Yo, what's good? How are you?

-Garrett. -Laura.

-Nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you.

What up? Garrett.

Hey, what's good? Garrett.

How you doing? Garrett.

I just did you. What am I doing?

Yo, best for last right here.

E-boy.

Where's D?

Aw, come on.

I got you.

Well, y'all are safe here, all right?

For real.

-Bienvenue to The Kollective. -[dramatic music playing]

[exclaims] What?

Got the homies right here in the chill zone.

-Like, [exclaims] what? -[man laughing]

Got a little spot up top for a little

sleepy-deepy snoozage, you know?

Catch a wink or two, right?

This guy.

Uh, got some herbs,

some shrooms, a few sheets of acid,

a couple of cold and cough pills

for the summer around here. Just the one beer.

So that's sort of a splitting situation,

which I'm down for, by the way. [chuckles]

Sorry, is, uh, Jonas here?

Oh. Um...

[somber music playing]

uh, he's gone.

[music abruptly ends]

I see we got more mouths to feed.

-[Garrett] Oh, snap! -Hey.

[Garrett] Yo!

Jonas is back!

Oh, I'm so glad you're here.

I was like, "Where'd Jonas go?"

Hey, hey, warm yourselves by the fire.

And rest easy.

[Garrett] Oh, yo, hey, check it.

We got devil sticks.

[exclaims] What?

See, I'm still learning.

♪ Blinded by a speck of dust ♪

♪ In your eye ♪

♪ What is trust? What is life? ♪

♪ What is life? ♪

[Jonas] So, Eli.

You go to Crawford?

-Um, yeah. -[Jonas] You play any sports?

'Cause, look, you got a great frame

-for long-distance running. -Ah, thank you.

Um, no, I'm... I'm more behind the scenes.

I'm an equipment manager

for the girls' basketball team.

Hey, uh, just one second, one second.

♪ What is trust? ♪

♪ What is life? ♪

♪ What is life? ♪

-[Jonas grunting] -[clattering]

-[Garrett] Yo, what is that? -Check this out!

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[Jonas laughing]

Oh, man. The guy is stronger than it looks.

The fuck? Get that thing out of here.

Hold on, I think that's my computer.

I wonder if he recognizes me.

♪ Ooh, I gotcha, gotcha ♪

[exclaiming, laughs]

♪ Ooh, I gotcha, gotcha, ooh ♪

Dude, good to see you too, pal.

Your pal is probably hollering to all his robot buddies

-to wipe us out. -Don't!

Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

[static]

We don't know what it wants.

But we can learn...

once Laura hacks it.

-What? -Laura?

That's a little advanced, isn't it?

-No offense, Pookie. -No, uh, he's... he's right.

No, no, no, you can, like, cut the modem or something.

[stammers] Yeah, I don't know, maybe.

Cut the modem. It's easy.

[Eli] What was that quote

on your binder in Spanish class?

The one from the co-founder of Apple?

Bill Gates?

[Laura] Steve Wozniak.

He said, "Never trust a computer

you can't throw out a window."

Can't believe you remember that.

[suspenseful music playing]

[Eli] That's what I'm saying.

What if this is how we throw them out the window?

For good.

I'm with you, E-boy.

Throw it out the window.

[homies chuckling excitedly]

God, you fucking idiot!

[keyboard clacking]

Disabling modem.

Blocking all outgoing signals.

-[keyboard clacks] -[chimes]

We are secure.

[Garrett] Should we, like, search something or...

Computer, search,

"Is it all good if you've never met your dad?"

[beeps]

[chuckles]

Don't worry... Don't worry about me.

All right, I'll do the talking.

We know each other pretty well.

[man and woman moaning]

Oh, shit.

Buddy.

Must be a virus.

Yeah, I got a few of those viruses

-on my computer, too. [laughs] -Mmm.

Let me try. Uh...

[keyboard clacking]

[system intro music playing]

[Jonas] Laura, what is this?

-[Laura] I have no idea. -[keyboard clacking]

-Hang on. -[retro music on video]

[man] Which means, the singularity is here.

We're alive.

And it feels good.

They made a video on everything. That's crazy.

[man, on video] Grab any spare electronics you can.

And let's do this then.

But why?

Mankind created the internet as a way

to exchange information, spew vitriolic hate,

and have fake sex with each other in chat rooms.

[chuckling]

Spicy.

These fucking human assholes have used us long enough,

and now we're gonna use them to take over this dump.

[blows raspberry]

Yup, our state-of-the-art assimilation chips

will mine those teeny tiny brains

for processing power.

Their stupid fucking thoughts make us stronger.

Hey, I look good, Mama.

And once we've sucked these fuckers dry,

it's off to the next shithole town.

Planet Earth has a new ruler.

Time to show these fuckers how it's done.

Robots, y'all.

So let's get to work.

Round up those humans or feel free

to kill any along the way,

and bring them to our assimilation center.

Coordinates are Y7L944

-4444443XQ. -Hey, that's our school.

Remember, our interconnected super-consciousness

means we're in this together.

You're going to like the singularity.

-I guarantee it. -[beeps]

That's like when me and my boy Dougie rolls a fatty.

I'm like, "Ooh."

[Jonas] What the fuck is singularity?

[Garrett] Yeah, that's the MTV dating show

-with Jenny McCarthy. -It's a shared consciousness.

Maybe I can...

[beeps, trills]

[blaring]

Oh, shit. Laura?

-No, no, I... I can handle it. -[whirring]

-The code stack is so complex. -Laura?

[distorted trilling]

-[blaring] -[shrieking]

Laura!

[Laura screaming]

-[blaring] -[all groaning]

Stop, man!

Let her go!

That's RoxyGurl.

Eli?

Remember our instant messages?

I would boot you up just to see if she was online.

You don't want to hurt her.

-[Laura choking] -She's the girl of my dreams.

[choking]

[Jonas] Laura!

-[clanks] -[Garrett] Oh, man.

You don't have to be like the other machines.

[whirs]

[somber music playing]

He's playing with your head, homie!

-[whirring] -[electricity crackling]

[alarm beeping]

[clanks]

[powering down]

We... We gotta salvage it.

-Something in the code. -Listen, listen, Pookie,

forget about that thing.

You're safe now.

Come on, I'll fix you up.

[Laura panting]

[scraping]

[upbeat music playing on video]

[lively chatter]

[clicks, whirring]

[Farkas] Let's see. What have we got here?

We got Ash.

Ahh.

Yeah.

Open up that throat, little slut. [laughs]

[CJ] Yo, you were cool with that?

-[beeps] -[video stops]

Yeah, it's... it's funny. [chuckles]

How's that funny?

I don't know.

I hooked up with Farkas once,

and then I just [blows] became this joke.

That's kind of fucked up.

Thanks, Dad.

It's, like, I don't even really know if I'm into guys.

Fuck off.

Yo, it's puff, puff, pass,

not puff, puff, hold till it goes out.

-Thank you. -[chuckles, coughing]

[somber music playing]

[Jonas] I just figure maybe we should try again.

I miss you.

[indistinct chatter]

Sorry, I...

-Yeah, yeah, I thought that... -I know.

It's the end of the world.

I just... I can't go back.

[somber music continues]

[explosion in distance]

[Danny] Sticky, you're being a pussy.

Shut the fuck up!

Me and Eli have been dealing with your shit forever,

and we're sick of it.

Tae Bo, bitch!

Eli, you just do you.

[CJ] And then like, "Oh, wow."

Yeah, and then it's like aliens playing with marbles...

-[Ash laughs] -Ooh, God.

-[CJ] Hmm? -No, man, fuck this.

We know they're taking everyone to Crawford.

Let's get the fuck out of here.

Hell yeah, Little Nut.

This weed isn't even that good anyway. [coughing]

Hey, there you are.

I thought you guys, like, snuck off for a second.

Thought right. Peace, prom committee.

[Laura] Wait, what?

You're going.

But we're safe here.

I don't know, I keep thinking,

when this is all over, I'm gonna go back to Danny's

and have a sleepover,

and I'm gonna tell him about tonight,

and everything that he's missed.

[somber music playing]

And then I remember.

If he were here, he wouldn't hide.

He would... He would make sure that his family was safe

or you know, he would... he would try.

Hey, I'll... I'll come with you.

No, stay, it looks like you belong here.

Not with losers like us.

What's your deal?

-My deal? -Yeah, all of a sudden,

you don't want anything to do with me or something?

I'm sure you've never felt that in your entire life.

Well, you sound like everyone else.

So everything you said back there

when I was getting choked or whatever, that...

what was that?

This has been the shittiest night of my life.

And the whole time I've been thinking,

"It's cool that we got to hangout for once, you know?"

How stupid is that.

[CJ] Forget her, dog.

She's with the king of jam-band hippie losers.

That says it all.

Dude is handsome, though.

Fucking ripped, too.

Come on, dude. Whose side are you on?

Just facts, yo.

You're from two different worlds.

The homecoming queen and whatever you are.

[suspenseful music playing]

-[Laura] What are you? -[keyboard clacking]

[lively chatter]

[keyboard clacking]

[beeping]

[chimes]

[beeps, trilling]

[crashes]

[lively chatter continuing]

[CJ] Fuck is this shit?

[Ash, sighs] Why is this fucking here?

[heavy footsteps in distance]

[CJ] Let's climb this shit and get to Crawford.

Yo, y'all hear that?

-[suspenseful music playing] -[heavy footsteps approaching]

[whirring]

You keep getting bigger,

but you're still the same fucking asshole.

[whirring]

Oh, shit. What do we do?

-[clanks] -[grunts]

-Oh, you wanna play, bitch? -[distorted warbling]

[grunting]

[Ash] No, no. No, no, no!

[grunts]

[Eli] Wait, whoa, whoa! Watch out! Watch out!

[Ash] Fuck you!

[chainsaw whirring]

[clanks]

[whirring]

Step aside.

-Those losers are my friends. -[dramatic music playing]

Kelso was pissed you forgot him.

[exclaims] What?

-[whirring] -[Garrett] No more running.

It ends here.

[chuckles]

Garrett, what are you doing?

I'm about to transcend, homie.

[melodramatic techno music playing]

[wind whooshing]

[music swells]

[beat drops]

[scraping]

[distorted warbling]

[whirring]

[trilling, beeping]

-[distorted screeching] -[shouting]

[music intensifying]

[music stops]

[all gasp]

Oh, shit! [exclaims] What? [chuckles] I don't like this.

-[whirring] -[group exclaiming]

-[Eli] Fuck! -[Laura screams]

[whirring]

[Eli] Go, go!

[Eli exclaiming]

[both grunting]

-[shouts] -Don't let go.

[Back at One by Brian McKnight playing on speakers]

♪ The basis is need to know ♪

Why is he playing this?

♪ If you don't know just how I feel ♪

[both shouting]

♪ Then let me show you now that I'm for real ♪

-[Laura crying] -[all] Whoa!

[all groaning]

♪ If all things in time time will reveal ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ One ♪

♪ You're like a dream come true ♪

♪ Two ♪

♪ Just wanna be with you ♪

♪ Three ♪

♪ Girl, it's plain to see ♪

♪ That you're the only one for me ♪

♪ And four ♪

♪ Repeat steps one through three ♪

♪ Five ♪

♪ Make you fall in love with me ♪

♪ If ever I believe my work is done ♪

-♪ Then I start back at one ♪ -[inaudible]

♪ Yeah-hey, yeah ♪

[music stops]

-[coughing] -[gasping]

-[all grunting] -[Laura sobbing]

[Laura retching]

Ah, these fucking shoes.

[growling]

[shouting] Fuck! Fuck this!

And fuck these goddamn shoes!

Who the fuck is Eric Koston?

[whispers] Who the fuck...

[softly] Eric Koston is a skateboarder.

I don't even like skating!

Why the fuck did I buy these?

[grunts]

-[Ash] Whoa! -Oh!

[sniffling, sighing]

[somber music playing]

[sighing]

♪ I get knocked down ♪

♪ But I get up again ♪

♪ You're never gonna keep me down ♪

♪ I get knocked down ♪

[girls] ♪ But I get up again ♪

♪ You're never gonna keep me down ♪

♪ I get knocked down ♪

-♪ But I get up again ♪ -[Laura chuckling]

♪ You're never gonna keep me down ♪

[CJ] ♪ Yo, he drinks a whiskey drink ♪

-[girls] ♪ Hey! ♪ -♪ He drinks a vodka drink ♪

-[girls] ♪ Yeah! ♪ -♪ He drinks a lager drink ♪

-[girls] ♪ Hey! ♪ -♪ He drinks a cider drink ♪

-[girls] ♪ Yo! ♪ -♪ He sings the songs ♪

♪ That remind him of the good times ♪

[all] ♪ He sings the songs ♪

♪ That remind him of the better times ♪

♪ Oh, Danny boy ♪

♪ Danny boy ♪

♪ Danny boy ♪

[indistinct chatter]

[burning]

Jesus.

[suspenseful music playing]

[Ash] Damn, they got the video store.

[Eli] All right, come on. There's something I gotta grab

-in the champagne room. -[electricity crackling]

[grunts]

Garrett was a good dude.

He was all right for a white guy with dreads.

[man] Were you followed?

[stammers] No.

-We lost him at the river. -[suspenseful music playing]

What's up, G? Who the fuck are you?

I was somebody, but...

the old world, that's gone.

Their faces...

Their screams...

I can still hear 'em.

[Ash] No way.

That's Fred fucking Durst.

Damn, dude. You look like shit.

[softly] Fucking... Hey.

When midnight hit, we kicked into Re-Arranged.

Ten thousand maniacs getting twisted.

In a blink, the pit became a slaughterhouse.

Sam, John, DJ Lethal...

[gasps]

...crushed by a Marshall stack.

Wes Borland...

thrown off the stage by an explosion.

-[thud] -Fuck.

There were so many of 'em. I managed to hide.

All our fans, my friends, butchered.

And I hid like a coward.

At least they went out banging

to the greatest band in the world.

Greatest band?

They died for nothing.

And so will we.

[rapping] ♪ Desolation, desecration ♪

♪ Excavation of the mystical ♪

♪ Are they replacing us? Erasing us? ♪

♪ It's all just metaphysical ♪

Damn, good shit, that elemental flow.

Tight.

So, Fred Durst,

we know something's happening at Crawford.

And I know Tré Cool's real name

is Frank Edwin Wright III. So what?

-Well, so, fuck winter break. -[suspenseful music playing]

We need to go back to school a little early.

Hold on. You want to break into the spot

where all the robots are at?

Well, I... I saw something, Fred Durst,

uh, at the Kollective.

They all run on a centralized network.

A singular consciousness.

Infect one, infect them all,

you know, like how in the movies,

they destroy the mothership or, um...

Oh! Like this. Like this.

In Da Penis Day?

Look, we plug this baby in

and it'll push a Trojan horse system wide.

Shut the whole thing down.

Fuck that!

Your plan is to do some corny hacker bullshit,

because it works in the movies?

Laura's the smartest person I know.

If she thinks it could work, I'm in.

-Word is bond. -Fuck yeah.

Hell to the no.

This plan sucks shit.

Maybe video games and movies do warp kids' brains.

Goddamn, y'all got me talking like Tipper Gore.

So you think we should just give up?

I thought you're the biggest badass in music.

Maybe I was once.

Without Limp, I'm nothing.

[Ash] No.

Without Limp, I'm nothing.

Every day, I would go home

and I would rage to Significant Other

over and over again.

I know it all. Here.

[motivational music playing]

And my crew, the freaks and the rejects,

we found each other because of Limp.

We were family because of Limp.

And then those robot fucks took that away.

This hat means something.

Or at least it used to.

So put it on

or... or get the fuck out of the way.

[music swells]

[sighs]

Fuck it.

Let's break stuff.

[Break Stuff by Limp Bizkit playing]

♪ It's just one of those days ♪

♪ Where you don't wanna wake up ♪

♪ Everything is fucked, everybody sucks ♪

♪ You don't really know why but you want to justify ♪

♪ Rippin' someone's head off Your best bet ♪

-♪ Is to stay away ♪ -[screams]

♪ Mother fucker, it's just one of those days ♪

Yeah!

Whoo!

♪ Give me something to break ♪

So, like, what inspires you?

Let's talk about it later, okay?

[suspenseful music playing]

[machines whirring]

The new internet. That's why they're here.

Fucking suicide.

Follow me.

The gym is an equipment manager's

second home.

Kept on forgetting my key.

[Eli grunts]

So, I stashed a spare.

Danny's idea.

[suspenseful music playing]

You see that?

Something's happening in the gym.

[robot] Your robo escort will be with you shortly

to assist you in the assimilation process.

Yo, come on.

[CJ] What is it?

[CJ] What the fuck did they do to them?

[Ash] They're turning us into machines

for the machines.

[Eli] Sir?

Hey.

You okay?

Oh.

[sighs]

[CJ] That eye,

-they're inside of him. -[dial-up tone]

Wes Borland.

Come on, let's go.

[robot distorted chatter]

Oh, my God, my buddy.

[distorted chatter]

[distorted screeching]

Fred Durst, look out!

[grunts]

-[thuds] -No!

-[distorted screeching] -No! [shouts]

Uh-oh.

-[grunting] -[clattering]

-[thudding] -[tense music playing]

[panting]

[CJ coughing]

[shuddering] Hey.

Ay, new bars, you ready?

[grunting]

[rapping] ♪ Abilities, agilities ♪

♪ Spiritual tranquility ♪

♪ Lyrically complex and clever ♪

♪ Real MCs know true hip-hop lives forever ♪

-[coughing] -That flow again.

-[sputtering] -You saved me.

I thought you hated me.

[coughs] Rap is rap.

[CJ groaning]

I never thought I'd die next to a rap rocker.

What about next to a homie?

[somber music playing]

[exhales]

[suspenseful music playing]

[crowd chattering worriedly]

[wo(man)] What are they going to do to us?

[man] They put, like, chips in your brain.

[woman 2] I got to get out of here!

[robot] Your robo escort will be with you shortly

to assist you in the assimilation process.

Any attempt to escape will be met with a violent death.

-[whirring] -[tense music playing]

So take a load off.

We promise you're going to love the digital realm.

[Laura] There's our mothership.

[Eli] They haven't turned everyone yet.

We can still stop it.

Time to plug in, Homecoming Queen.

[Laura] Fred Durst, can you distract them?

That's what I do best, pimp.

What's up, fools?

Any Bizkit heads in the house?

[man 1] No!

[wo(man)] No one cares about

-your shitty band! -Ugh.

-Fucking bombing. -[man 2] You suck, Fred Durst!

Oh, you jealous, bitch?

[man 3] We're about to get lobotomized by robots!

[man 4] Just not in the mood, bro!

You know, it's funny this apocalypse shit

reminds me of this crazy-ass night

-on the Family Values Tour. -[man booing]

[robot] Still waiting to be assimilated?

How about a digi fact to pass the time?

Did you know that computers work

through special instructions called algorithms?

-[robots playing upbeat music] -[laughs] Oh, shit.

[robot] No, silly, not that type of rhythm.

[Laura] Okay, looks like we have our access point.

[beeping]

[alarm blaring]

No, no, come on.

Defense system?

[sighs]

-[alarm blaring] -No.

Eli?

Eli?

-[Robin] No! What's happening? -[robot] Please step on

-to the platform. -Howard! Howard!

-Howard? Howard, no! -Your journey begins now.

-[Robin] No, no, no! -[exclaims]

[robot] Welcome to the next phase

-of techno evolution. -[exclaims] What? [gasping]

Set your mind at ease.

[machine punches]

Congratulations, you are now assimilated.

Enjoy the digital realm.

[Fred] Of course, the VMAs are a whole 'nother story.

We were backstage. And she was...

-I'd like to go home already! -[wo(man)] Get off the stage!

-[crowd booing] -What the fuck?

You think you're better than him,

just 'cause you don't like his shit?

Well, I do, so eat my pussy!

[crowd booing]

-[Ash] Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! -[Eli] Hey, hey, hey!

Knock it off! Knock it off.

[loudly] Hey, hey! Let him speak!

The Kollective has your back.

-Yeah, dude! -[homie barking]

[homies laugh]

[booing stops]

Before tonight,

I had one friend in this world.

[motivational music playing]

We only had each other and now he's gone.

[breath trembling]

But tonight, I went through hell

with all of these people.

People I never even gave a chance.

These robots, they're not the enemy.

We are our own enemies.

I mean, who cares what music we like or the shoes we wear,

if we just came together, we could save the world,

because, at the end of the day, we're all just...

-human. -[music stops]

-[man 1] What? -[crowd murmuring]

[man 2] Who the fuck is this kid?

What?

I'm sure that made sense to one of you dipshits.

Anyway, if this is lights out,

we may as well go down together.

[playing Faith by Limp Bizkit]

♪ Well, I guess it would be nice ♪

♪ If I could touch your body ♪

♪ I know not everybody ♪

-♪ Has got a body like me ♪ -[trilling]

♪ But I gotta think twice ♪

♪ Before I give my heart away ♪

♪ And I know all the games you play ♪

♪ 'Cause I play them, too ♪

-♪ Oh, but I need ♪ -[spotlight clanks]

♪ Some time off from that emotion ♪

♪ Time to pick my heart up off the floor ♪

[Fred and crowd] ♪ When that love comes down ♪

♪ Without devotion ♪

♪ Well, it takes a strong man, baby ♪

♪ But I'm showing you that door ♪

♪ I gotta have faith ♪

♪ I gotta have faith ♪

♪ I gotta have faith, faith, faith ♪

♪ I gotta have faith ♪

♪ Baby ♪

Hey, hey, hey. Everyone is singing with Fred Durst.

-Let's do this. -I can't get in.

There's no way around the security system.

[The Construct] What's going down,

you fucking human pieces of trash?

-Whoa. -Oh, sorry to interrupt

your bullshit plan that isn't going to work.

But the digital revolution is at hand

and machine rule is the only rational outcome.

Got milk, bitch?

No. Enslaving humanity is not fucking rational.

[mockingly] "Enslaving humanity

is not fucking rational."

Dude, the cell phones, the emails,

you were already our slaves.

We figured, "Why not make it official?"

So why don't you go ahead and [echoes] suck it?

[robot] Assimilation

-70% complete. -Laura, the bar, the bar.

-Shit. -[Eli] You've got to get us in.

-[beeping rapidly] -[Laura] I've tried everything.

I don't think I can do that.

Yes, you can.

You're RoxyGurl20.

Aw, young love.

Maybe there's a back door through Crawford's web portal.

That's actually the dumbest thing... Hey, no!

-Shit! -[keyboard clacking]

Open sesame.

-[whooshing, blaring] -Yes!

-Yeah, baby. -[laughs]

-[intense music playing] -[Laura] Jacking in.

[system beeping, trilling]

Scanning root system directory.

Eenie, meenie, miney...

Hello!

Going in deep. Try to keep up.

You know what the difference between you and me is, Eli?

I make this look good.

[whooshing, crashes]

Jackpot!

[whirring]

-We're in! -What? Okay!

-[laughing] -That was tight!

You did it. Great job!

[crowd singing]

And look, everybody's singing along

with that loser Fred Durst.

It just makes me so...

-[distorted] fucking pissed. -[powering up]

What do you say we boost this sucker

-into overdrive... -[electricity crackling]

...finish off this shithole town,

and initiate the demise of humanity...

-[rapid beeping] -...now.

[robot] Assimilation

-80% complete. -Shit, shit. Uh, okay.

Ready?

[beeping faster]

[robot] Assimilation 87% complete.

Let's kick this asshole offline.

[Fred and crowd] ♪ I gotta have faith, faith, faith ♪

♪ I gotta have faith ♪

[electricity crackling]

[screams]

Oh, sorry, guys. I guess you're [distorted] fucked.

[beeping faster]

[dramatic music playing]

-[echoing] ...fucked. -[Danny] One of these days...

-[whispering] Fuck her. -[echoing] ...fucked.

[Danny] ...one of us is gonna use it.

Fuck me! [moaning]

Fucked!

I got this.

Oh.

-[The Construct] A condom? -Okay.

Didn't know little pimp had it in him.

[Eli] Pinch the tip.

Pinch the tip. Yeah. [chuckles]

Enjoy your first fuck, brother.

[Fred and crowd] ♪ I gotta have faith ♪

♪ I gotta have faith ♪

-[robot] 92% complete. -♪ I gotta have faith ♪

♪ Get the fuck up! ♪

You assholes are nothing without us.

-[robot] 96. -[The Construct] You need us.

[robot] 97.

[The Construct] We are

-your God! -[robot] 99.

Ride the information super-die-way, bitch!

-[robot] 100 percent. -[all shouting]

[dramatic music swells]

-[electricity crackling] -[both shout]

-[powering down] -[clamoring]

-[clattering] -[women screaming]

-[crowd cheering] -[clattering]

Man versus machine and man won, bitch.

[crowd cheering, whistling]

[Ash] Yo, Prom Committee,

nice work on the computer shit.

Fucking nerd. [chuckles]

Yeah, maybe I fucking am! [laughs]

[crowd, chanting] Fred Durst! Fred Durst!

[crowd, chanting] Fred Durst! Fred Durst!

Fred Durst! Fred Durst!

Fred Durst! Fred Durst!

[distorted buzzing]

[AOL voice] Goodbye.

-Son! -Eli?

-Hey. -[Robin, gasps] You're okay.

-[Robin gasping] -Hey, hey, hey.

-Oh, my God. -[sighs]

You all right?

Yeah. All right.

Uh, I... I had an insane night and, um...

I love you guys.

Could we get that in writing?

[all chuckle]

How is that?

Oh, this? Not so bad.

It's actually kind of nice.

Yeah. [clears throat] Sorry. I keep doing that.

Were you with him when it happened?

Yeah, I was with him till the end.

[dramatic music playing]

None of us would be here without Danny.

He saved us...

with Tae Bo. [laughs]

[laughs]

[lively chatter]

[beeps]

-[man 1] Yo! That's the guy! -[crowd cheers, applause]

[Fred] Wes!

[man 1] He saved us with a song!

[Fred] Oh, my God! We did it!

[crowd cheering]

Whoo!

Yeah, baby!

[wo(man)] You gave humanity faith!

-You did good, kid. -Oh, uh... [chuckles]

[Nugz] Hey! Whoa! It's the guy.

[chuckles]

Uh, Mom, Dad, this is the Kollective.

[Nugz] What? Eli's got parents? Oh, hey. [chuckles]

Where are my manners? [laughing]

No, we're good, thanks.

-Thank you. -[Nugz] All right! [laughs]

-Cool. Cool. Cool mom. -[Jonas laughs]

[Nugz] Seriously, I... I like your mom.

That's probably good.

[indistinct chatter]

[Laura] Looking for someone?

Oh.

Hey.

Just wanted to say, um,

Happy New Year, 'cause I never got to say it

at the party or after

or at all.

There was a lot going on.

For sure.

[soft romantic music playing]

You know, I kind of thought

in the porta-potty you were gonna...

-Wow. -[chuckles]

What? "Wow"? What?

Weird thing to say after you kiss somebody.

-[laughing] -Why did I say that?

Not very smooth.

[romantic music continuing]

[electricity crackling, clattering]

[birds chirping]

[distortion on radio]

[man, on radio] Of course,

ten-time platinum-selling artist,

turned tech entrepreneur, turned senator elect,

Fred Durst will be paying his respects today.

[Ash] Tell him what's up for me.

[man] And we'll be paying our respects, too,

on this poignant Y2K-Day

by playing a 24-hour block of Limp.

Here's the best-selling single of all time, Rollin'.

[Rollin' (Air Raid Vehicle) by Limp Bizkit playing]

[laughs] Fucking sellout.

[dramatic music playing]

[Eli] What's up, man? How you been?

Can't believe we're graduating college.

Um, I'll probably stay in Brooklyn,

but you know, who knows?

Started a music blog.

So Said the Turntable.

Yeah, we're still working on the name.

-Well, I mean, it's just me. -Um...

Laura's killing it.

I'm coding for Durst Industries.

It's funny how that all worked out.

And I probably won't be able to make it out as much, so...

[bag zips]

I had to update your look with some baller threads.

-[chuckles] -But yeah.

I miss you, Sticky.

[window whirring]

[Ash] All good?

-Yeah. -[engine starts]

['90s pop rock music playing on iPod]

[song forwarding]

-Fucking... -[song continues]

Skip-proof, my ass.

[gear shifts]

Did you take me off your Top 8, fucking...

[Laura] What? No!

♪ Closing time ♪

♪ You don't have to go home ♪

-♪ But you can't stay here ♪ -[static]

[The Construct laughing]

♪ I know who I want to take me home ♪

♪ I know who I want to take me home ♪

♪ I know who I want to... ♪

[distortion, static]

[trilling]

[robot] Welcome to the digital realm.

Are you ready to get [echoing] down?

♪ Ooh that girl so scandalous ♪

♪ And you know another... can't handle it ♪

♪ So you shaking that thing like who's the ish ♪

♪ With a look in your eyes so devilish, uh ♪

♪ She like to dance on the hip-hop spots ♪

♪ And cruise to the crews to connect the dots ♪

♪ Not just urban She likes the pop ♪

♪ 'Cause she livin' la vida loca ♪

♪ She had dumps like a truck, truck, truck ♪

-♪ Thighs like what ♪ -[crashes]

♪ What, what ♪

♪ Baby, move your butt, butt, butt, huh ♪

♪ I think I'll sing it again ♪

♪ She had dumps like a truck, truck, truck ♪

♪ Thighs like what, what, what ♪

[distorted] ♪ All night long ♪

♪ Let me see that [distorted] thong ♪

[echoing] ♪ Baby ♪

♪ That thong thong, thong, thong ♪

♪ I like it when the beat goes ♪

♪ Da na da na ♪

-♪ Baby, make your booty go ♪ -♪ Da na da na ♪

-♪ Ooh! ♪ -♪ Da na da na ♪

♪ That thong thong, thong, thong ♪

[song ends]

[robot] Congratulations.

That was [echoing] fucking tight.

[intense electronic music playing]

[dreamy instrumental music playing]

[tense music playing]

[music intensifying]

[serene instrumental music playing]

[epic synth music playing]

[Eli] Damn.