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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,898 --> 00:00:03,726 Dad, you were supposed to buy more coffee. 2 00:00:03,727 --> 00:00:05,659 Yeah. And you were supposed to get your own house, 3 00:00:05,660 --> 00:00:07,490 so I guess we both dropped the ball. 4 00:00:08,732 --> 00:00:10,734 Carter, Georgia, let's go. 5 00:00:12,150 --> 00:00:14,599 You're dating yourself with that newspaper, Pops. 6 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:18,742 Yeah? And you will be dating yourself if you don't fix that hair. 7 00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:21,503 It took him forever. 8 00:00:21,504 --> 00:00:23,712 It's like sharing a bathroom with Lady Gaga. 9 00:00:23,713 --> 00:00:26,646 Hey. I'm extra today so I can charm my teachers 10 00:00:26,647 --> 00:00:28,544 before the parent open house tonight. 11 00:00:28,545 --> 00:00:30,374 - That's tomorrow. - No, it's tonight. 12 00:00:32,411 --> 00:00:34,654 It's tonight. 13 00:00:34,655 --> 00:00:37,864 Sweetie, I can't make it. I'm supposed to meet with a lawyer. 14 00:00:37,865 --> 00:00:39,418 The divorce kind. 15 00:00:40,730 --> 00:00:42,765 Hey. Maybe... Maybe Pops could go. 16 00:00:42,766 --> 00:00:45,354 No! [chuckles] No. Because if he has an audience, 17 00:00:45,355 --> 00:00:48,531 he can't resist ranting about how Pluto should still be a planet. 18 00:00:49,601 --> 00:00:51,153 Pluto is a planet! 19 00:00:51,154 --> 00:00:53,190 It's been a planet for billions of years, 20 00:00:53,191 --> 00:00:56,641 then "big astronomy" got involved. Now it's a dwarf planet. 21 00:00:56,642 --> 00:00:58,541 Now what's Disney gonna do with Pluto? 22 00:01:01,302 --> 00:01:02,785 See? 23 00:01:02,786 --> 00:01:04,235 Pops has hot takes. 24 00:01:04,236 --> 00:01:06,099 My science teacher would love to hear 'em. 25 00:01:06,100 --> 00:01:08,101 - I'll go if he wants me to go. - No. 26 00:01:08,102 --> 00:01:09,482 Do your usual routine. 27 00:01:09,483 --> 00:01:11,071 Stay home and yell at the TV. 28 00:01:12,382 --> 00:01:14,590 Last night, he lost his voice yelling 29 00:01:14,591 --> 00:01:17,111 at the people dancing in the diabetes commercial. 30 00:01:19,424 --> 00:01:22,184 No, I really haven't been to their school in a long time. I would like to go. 31 00:01:22,185 --> 00:01:26,430 Fine. I'll cancel my meeting, and we'll go together. 32 00:01:26,431 --> 00:01:29,641 I just don't understand why they're dancing if they have diabetes. 33 00:01:43,689 --> 00:01:47,279 Wait a minute. So only scientists can use the word "dwarf" in a sentence? 34 00:01:49,178 --> 00:01:51,110 Oh, memories. 35 00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:53,458 - There's the parking lot where I used to smoke. - Yeah. 36 00:01:54,804 --> 00:01:58,151 Which is why you never wanted me to pick you up after school. 37 00:01:58,152 --> 00:02:00,395 I quit when I got pregnant. 38 00:02:00,396 --> 00:02:02,155 See? 39 00:02:02,156 --> 00:02:04,434 You always overlook the positive side of teen pregnancy. 40 00:02:06,195 --> 00:02:08,783 Oh... Oh, my God. You're Riley Parker. 41 00:02:09,474 --> 00:02:10,647 Caitlin Baker. 42 00:02:11,855 --> 00:02:13,822 We went to high school together. 43 00:02:13,823 --> 00:02:16,412 You copied off me in geometry 44 00:02:16,929 --> 00:02:17,965 and algebra. 45 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,208 - And chemistry! - Yes. 46 00:02:20,209 --> 00:02:22,002 Oh, Caitlin. Hi. 47 00:02:22,003 --> 00:02:24,108 Hi, Caitlin. I'm Riley's very proud father. 48 00:02:24,109 --> 00:02:25,385 Hi. 49 00:02:25,386 --> 00:02:26,593 - Matt. How you doing? - Hi. 50 00:02:26,594 --> 00:02:28,043 So, do you have a kid here too? 51 00:02:28,044 --> 00:02:30,287 Oh, no, I'm the assistant principal here. 52 00:02:30,288 --> 00:02:31,667 Haven't met Mr. Right yet. 53 00:02:31,668 --> 00:02:33,807 I do have four frozen egg babies. 54 00:02:33,808 --> 00:02:35,810 Hey, perfect for an omelet! 55 00:02:37,985 --> 00:02:40,504 Mr. Parker, your daughter was, like, a legend here. 56 00:02:40,505 --> 00:02:42,885 What? No. Stop. 57 00:02:42,886 --> 00:02:44,025 Say more. 58 00:02:45,303 --> 00:02:48,132 No, for real. I mean, you were so pretty and popular. 59 00:02:48,133 --> 00:02:50,514 You were... ...kind of my idol. 60 00:02:50,515 --> 00:02:51,687 You need a new idol. 61 00:02:51,688 --> 00:02:54,657 You know, Jesus is available. 62 00:02:56,900 --> 00:02:58,315 I'm gonna get us some seats. 63 00:02:58,316 --> 00:03:00,144 Nice to meet you. 64 00:03:00,145 --> 00:03:01,904 Oh, and you and your brother used to hang out 65 00:03:01,905 --> 00:03:03,630 with that really cute Gabriel guy. 66 00:03:03,631 --> 00:03:05,184 Oh, still do. Still single. 67 00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:08,014 Uh, leaning in. 68 00:03:08,015 --> 00:03:10,741 I'm off the apps. You know, trying to meet people in the wild. 69 00:03:10,742 --> 00:03:12,537 Hooked up with a guy in the woods last week. 70 00:03:13,262 --> 00:03:14,504 Not sure that counts. 71 00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,369 Wait, could you maybe fix me up with Gabe? 72 00:03:18,370 --> 00:03:20,682 The three of us could grab a drink tomorrow night. 73 00:03:20,683 --> 00:03:23,650 Um, yeah. I guess I could move some stuff around. 74 00:03:23,651 --> 00:03:25,894 There, I moved it. 75 00:03:28,380 --> 00:03:29,312 No! 76 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:38,734 Remember, if the teacher says something you disagree with, 77 00:03:38,735 --> 00:03:41,772 don't roll your eyes or make one of your condescending grunts. 78 00:03:41,773 --> 00:03:43,119 - Oh, no. - Yeah, like that. 79 00:03:44,879 --> 00:03:47,571 And no talking about how school was better in your day. 80 00:03:47,572 --> 00:03:50,230 No one cares you knew how to use a compass and a ruler. 81 00:03:51,265 --> 00:03:53,093 You know who could really use a ruler? 82 00:03:53,094 --> 00:03:55,026 My first teacher, Sister Helen. 83 00:03:55,027 --> 00:03:58,134 She hit me so hard on this hand, I stopped stuttering. 84 00:03:58,824 --> 00:04:00,653 Welcome, everyone. 85 00:04:00,654 --> 00:04:03,242 I'm Ms. Esposito, your children's homeroom adviser. 86 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:04,519 My pronouns are she/her. 87 00:04:08,351 --> 00:04:11,353 I got no problem with people with different pronouns. 88 00:04:11,354 --> 00:04:13,253 I hate everyone equally. 89 00:04:14,737 --> 00:04:17,290 Big news, we are changing the school mascot. 90 00:04:17,291 --> 00:04:19,775 The Minuteman was not very inclusive. 91 00:04:19,776 --> 00:04:22,399 What's more inclusive than a dude wearing a wig, 92 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:25,920 stockings, little high heels, holding on to a rifle? 93 00:04:27,474 --> 00:04:30,442 That could bring this country together. Checks every damn box. 94 00:04:34,688 --> 00:04:36,792 Are you happy? I kept quiet, 95 00:04:36,793 --> 00:04:39,934 although I might've drifted off during that "Moment of Mindfulness." 96 00:04:41,591 --> 00:04:45,525 No, you still managed to say "grow a pair" in your sleep. 97 00:04:45,526 --> 00:04:47,631 Hi, you must be Carter's mom. 98 00:04:47,632 --> 00:04:50,392 Yes, I'm Riley Parker. Hi. 99 00:04:50,393 --> 00:04:52,221 - Hi. - And this must be your husband. 100 00:04:52,222 --> 00:04:53,293 No! 101 00:04:54,328 --> 00:04:56,295 Carter's granddad. Matt. 102 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,436 Sorry. We get a lot of old dads here. 103 00:04:59,851 --> 00:05:02,818 Old dads, huh? How about 100 push-ups? You and me, right here. 104 00:05:02,819 --> 00:05:06,339 - Come on, girl. - Okay, nobody's doing any push-ups. 105 00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:08,618 I just wanna give you Carter's accommodations. 106 00:05:10,137 --> 00:05:12,277 Excuse me, is this the Motel 6? What are you talking about? 107 00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:15,244 Some kids are different learners, 108 00:05:15,245 --> 00:05:17,488 and they require customized teaching strategies to complete tasks. 109 00:05:17,489 --> 00:05:18,766 Oh, no. 110 00:05:20,561 --> 00:05:22,183 Oh, good, yeah, yeah. 111 00:05:23,668 --> 00:05:27,118 Here's his Section 504 paperwork and a letter from his psychologist. 112 00:05:27,119 --> 00:05:28,810 - Thank you. - Section 504? 113 00:05:28,811 --> 00:05:30,847 Isn't that where the government hides flying saucers? 114 00:05:32,228 --> 00:05:35,023 It just means he'll get extra time to take tests. 115 00:05:35,024 --> 00:05:36,507 It helps with his anxiety issues. 116 00:05:36,508 --> 00:05:38,164 This anxiety thing. 117 00:05:38,165 --> 00:05:39,821 Every generation has anxiety. 118 00:05:39,822 --> 00:05:41,098 We deal with it. 119 00:05:41,099 --> 00:05:43,134 Oh, the way you guys did with denial? 120 00:05:43,135 --> 00:05:44,827 A nuclear arms race? 121 00:05:45,724 --> 00:05:47,207 No seat belts? 122 00:05:47,208 --> 00:05:49,486 The no seat belt thing made sense. 123 00:05:49,487 --> 00:05:53,870 We felt you had a better chance of surviving if you were thrown from the car. 124 00:05:55,251 --> 00:05:57,217 This is a real issue, Dad. 125 00:05:57,218 --> 00:06:00,186 Carter was tested by an educational therapist back in Vegas. 126 00:06:00,187 --> 00:06:03,639 Did that therapist get her license at Caesar's or at the Tropicana? 127 00:06:05,434 --> 00:06:07,469 They're just giving him a little extra help. 128 00:06:07,470 --> 00:06:09,333 I understand help. That's fine. 129 00:06:09,334 --> 00:06:12,198 But when you put labels on a kid and tell him they have anxiety, 130 00:06:12,199 --> 00:06:15,063 - they start to think that's what they are. - I'm not putting a label on him. 131 00:06:15,064 --> 00:06:17,548 Kids will put labels on people. That's what they do. 132 00:06:17,549 --> 00:06:18,687 I was there. 133 00:06:18,688 --> 00:06:20,103 Special Ed Ted. 134 00:06:21,104 --> 00:06:23,797 Oh, God. That kid, Booger-flipping Bobby. 135 00:06:25,350 --> 00:06:27,766 Are you just naming Garbage Pail Kids? 136 00:06:28,698 --> 00:06:29,871 Garbage-eating Gail. 137 00:06:29,872 --> 00:06:31,563 She ate right out of the trash can. 138 00:06:32,599 --> 00:06:35,048 Oh, your husband is so cute. 139 00:06:35,049 --> 00:06:36,534 Oh, no! 140 00:06:46,267 --> 00:06:48,372 Hey, Gabe. What are you doing tonight? 141 00:06:48,373 --> 00:06:49,511 Car stuff. 142 00:06:49,512 --> 00:06:51,099 Can't you do that this weekend? 143 00:06:51,100 --> 00:06:53,067 No, this weekend I'm doing different car stuff. 144 00:06:54,586 --> 00:06:58,037 Okay. Would it be possible for you to not do car stuff for one night? 145 00:06:58,038 --> 00:06:59,936 'Cause I lined up a hot date for you. 146 00:07:00,523 --> 00:07:02,249 Wait. I'm intrigued. 147 00:07:03,561 --> 00:07:05,078 I mean... Look, 148 00:07:05,079 --> 00:07:06,736 I ain't too proud to take his sloppy seconds. 149 00:07:08,704 --> 00:07:09,876 Her name's Caitlin. 150 00:07:09,877 --> 00:07:11,430 She went to high school with us, 151 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,293 and now she works there as an assistant principal. 152 00:07:13,294 --> 00:07:16,125 Oh. So she's a disciplinarian? 153 00:07:19,646 --> 00:07:22,061 - Caitlin. Did she take auto shop? - No. 154 00:07:22,062 --> 00:07:23,304 So she wasn't cool. 155 00:07:24,029 --> 00:07:26,410 No, but she's really pretty, 156 00:07:26,411 --> 00:07:28,412 and she hooked up with a guy in the woods. 157 00:07:28,413 --> 00:07:29,759 I like her. 158 00:07:31,658 --> 00:07:35,662 Yeah, I guess, uh, I'll do my Saturday car stuff with my Sunday car stuff. 159 00:07:36,766 --> 00:07:38,008 - Hey, Dad. - Oh, look at that. 160 00:07:38,009 --> 00:07:39,769 The accommodation cop. 161 00:07:40,667 --> 00:07:43,185 I'm begging you. Please let it go. 162 00:07:43,186 --> 00:07:44,808 What is he talking about? 163 00:07:44,809 --> 00:07:46,637 Uh, we went to Carter's open house 164 00:07:46,638 --> 00:07:48,950 where I learned my dad doesn't believe in accommodations. 165 00:07:48,951 --> 00:07:51,331 Yeah, he thinks since it happened a long time ago, 166 00:07:51,332 --> 00:07:53,611 he shouldn't have to pay for something he didn't do. 167 00:07:57,373 --> 00:07:58,408 Uh-huh. 168 00:08:00,169 --> 00:08:04,000 Angel. I think you mean reparations. 169 00:08:05,554 --> 00:08:10,420 Accommodations are basically extra help in school. 170 00:08:11,352 --> 00:08:13,354 Which, obviously, you didn't get. 171 00:08:14,563 --> 00:08:17,357 My problem with accommodations is they don't work. 172 00:08:17,358 --> 00:08:21,085 You know, you don't get extra time in the real world to do things. 173 00:08:21,086 --> 00:08:22,674 Or reparations, apparently. 174 00:08:24,434 --> 00:08:26,539 Take Frankie for instance, right? 175 00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:29,542 She doesn't get special attention just because she's gay, right? 176 00:08:29,543 --> 00:08:31,027 - You're still gay, right? - Yep. 177 00:08:32,166 --> 00:08:33,788 Last night, I was real gay. 178 00:08:33,789 --> 00:08:34,790 Yeah. 179 00:08:36,170 --> 00:08:39,345 And, Stitch. Look. Differently "disabled." 180 00:08:39,346 --> 00:08:40,795 No. 181 00:08:40,796 --> 00:08:42,417 Uh, physically incapable. 182 00:08:42,418 --> 00:08:43,660 - Way worse. - Okay. 183 00:08:43,661 --> 00:08:45,525 Uh, mobility-challenged wheel-guy? 184 00:08:48,804 --> 00:08:50,805 Yeah. That's it. You nailed it. 185 00:08:50,806 --> 00:08:52,358 What's the right thing to say? 186 00:08:52,359 --> 00:08:54,394 Dude, we done been through this a thousand times. 187 00:08:54,395 --> 00:08:56,224 I'm trying to compliment you. 188 00:08:56,225 --> 00:08:58,191 You don't let your circumstances dictate your life, you know? 189 00:08:58,192 --> 00:08:59,848 Uh, you... you never ask me for anything. 190 00:08:59,849 --> 00:09:02,576 'Cause you ain't gon' give me anything! 191 00:09:03,197 --> 00:09:05,717 So our system works. 192 00:09:07,236 --> 00:09:10,031 I'm just saying, I don't think you're doing Carter any favors 193 00:09:10,032 --> 00:09:11,895 by labeling him "anxious," you know? 194 00:09:11,896 --> 00:09:13,413 We all have anxiety. 195 00:09:13,414 --> 00:09:16,071 - Mmm. Including you, right? - Oh, yeah. 196 00:09:16,072 --> 00:09:17,348 Big time. 197 00:09:17,349 --> 00:09:18,558 Oh, big time, huh? 198 00:09:19,766 --> 00:09:22,906 - Whoa, whoa, whoa. - Whoa. 199 00:09:22,907 --> 00:09:26,841 Ooh, I think this little guy would look good right here. 200 00:09:26,842 --> 00:09:28,256 - Oh. - Ooh. 201 00:09:28,257 --> 00:09:29,878 - Now, don't do... don't do that. - Oh. 202 00:09:29,879 --> 00:09:31,224 I'm sorry, Dad. 203 00:09:31,225 --> 00:09:33,711 Is this making you feel anxious, perhaps? 204 00:09:35,126 --> 00:09:37,334 Okay. Look, you made a point, okay? 205 00:09:37,335 --> 00:09:39,336 Maybe I'm a little anxious about... you know. 206 00:09:39,337 --> 00:09:42,166 But I have tools that I use to get me through it. 207 00:09:42,167 --> 00:09:44,652 And I think Carter could learn to use tools, 208 00:09:44,653 --> 00:09:46,861 then he wouldn't need accommodations. 209 00:09:46,862 --> 00:09:48,726 Are you guys getting the tool metaphor? 210 00:09:50,072 --> 00:09:51,176 'Cause I am. 211 00:09:52,453 --> 00:09:55,456 Well, I'm his mom, you don't get a vote. 212 00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:58,907 See you tonight. And wear something sexy. 213 00:09:58,908 --> 00:10:00,945 Don't be afraid to show a little skin. 214 00:10:01,739 --> 00:10:03,603 Or go into the woods. 215 00:10:07,296 --> 00:10:08,641 So, this is a podcast? 216 00:10:08,642 --> 00:10:11,127 Yeah, it's called Women Who Murder. 217 00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:18,064 There's a great episode where the wife hid poison in her husband's birthday cake. 218 00:10:18,065 --> 00:10:19,410 Did he find out about it? 219 00:10:19,411 --> 00:10:20,723 Yeah! 220 00:10:21,724 --> 00:10:23,692 When his large intestine melted. 221 00:10:25,486 --> 00:10:26,936 You wanna share this? 222 00:10:30,422 --> 00:10:32,355 Why don't you take the first bite? 223 00:10:33,702 --> 00:10:35,117 Dad, I'm leaving. 224 00:10:36,152 --> 00:10:37,221 Wow, Mom. 225 00:10:37,222 --> 00:10:38,533 Love the glow up. 226 00:10:38,534 --> 00:10:39,949 You wanna share this cookie? 227 00:10:41,123 --> 00:10:42,538 I don't think I'd do that. 228 00:10:44,505 --> 00:10:47,473 So listen, uh, don't talk to strangers, 229 00:10:47,474 --> 00:10:50,373 make sure you hydrate, and try not to get pregnant. 230 00:10:54,619 --> 00:10:56,552 Hey. What are you studying? 231 00:10:57,139 --> 00:10:58,554 Geez Louise! 232 00:10:59,728 --> 00:11:01,245 What are you studying? 233 00:11:01,246 --> 00:11:03,696 Uh, World War II. I have a placement test tomorrow. 234 00:11:03,697 --> 00:11:07,700 Uh, you know, your mom says you need extra time on tests. Do you think that's true? 235 00:11:07,701 --> 00:11:10,048 - My therapist does. - What a surprise, huh? 236 00:11:10,842 --> 00:11:13,086 Mo' problems, mo' money. 237 00:11:14,225 --> 00:11:16,020 Carter, you know what I think? 238 00:11:16,883 --> 00:11:19,436 I think you're a really smart guy. 239 00:11:19,437 --> 00:11:21,370 Really? 'Cause you're always calling me a nerd. 240 00:11:22,060 --> 00:11:24,303 'Cause nerds are smart. 241 00:11:24,304 --> 00:11:26,686 - Still, it's kind of hurtful. - The point is, 242 00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:29,826 when I got scared or anxious in school, 243 00:11:29,827 --> 00:11:31,310 and even when I'm designing the cars, 244 00:11:31,311 --> 00:11:35,038 I develop step-by-step tools to help me finish. 245 00:11:35,039 --> 00:11:39,456 And maybe we can help you so you don't need extra time taking the test. 246 00:11:39,457 --> 00:11:43,979 And as luck would have it, World War II is my forte. 247 00:11:44,531 --> 00:11:45,980 Yeah, 248 00:11:45,981 --> 00:11:48,224 I bet you got wild stories fighting them Germans. 249 00:11:54,610 --> 00:11:56,025 1944. 250 00:11:57,613 --> 00:11:59,511 That would make me 108! 251 00:12:01,203 --> 00:12:02,722 Maybe you're not a nerd. 252 00:12:04,102 --> 00:12:06,621 Do you have other study guides or notebooks in there? 253 00:12:06,622 --> 00:12:07,727 I wanna take a look. 254 00:12:12,697 --> 00:12:15,631 No. No, no. Stop. Stop. No. No. No, no, no. Hold. Hold. 255 00:12:23,087 --> 00:12:24,502 I'm going to need a minute. 256 00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:27,711 So, what's it like being assistant principal? 257 00:12:27,712 --> 00:12:30,783 Are you just, like, waiting for the principal to die? 258 00:12:30,784 --> 00:12:32,060 Every day. 259 00:12:32,061 --> 00:12:34,131 So, fill me in on the glamorous life 260 00:12:34,132 --> 00:12:35,961 of Riley Parker. 261 00:12:35,962 --> 00:12:38,066 I bet you've traveled the world with Jimmy and his band. 262 00:12:38,067 --> 00:12:41,242 I've seen it all. Des Moines, Cedar Rapids, and back to Des Moines. 263 00:12:42,589 --> 00:12:43,797 Jimmy forgot his bass. 264 00:12:45,178 --> 00:12:47,455 Marrying a musician wasn't quite what I imagined. 265 00:12:47,456 --> 00:12:49,802 Well, you know, life is full of surprises. 266 00:12:49,803 --> 00:12:52,529 I mean, my college boyfriend started a cult. 267 00:12:52,530 --> 00:12:54,118 That I joined for a hot minute. 268 00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:57,361 So, what brought you two back here? 269 00:12:57,362 --> 00:12:58,916 We're getting divorced. 270 00:12:59,848 --> 00:13:02,228 Rock gods don't make great husbands. 271 00:13:02,229 --> 00:13:03,783 Or emergency contacts. 272 00:13:04,922 --> 00:13:07,440 Once, I had to hitchhike home from an urgent care. 273 00:13:07,441 --> 00:13:09,822 Oh. Well, I'm sure you've found an amazing career. 274 00:13:09,823 --> 00:13:11,859 - God, no. - Oh. 275 00:13:11,860 --> 00:13:13,688 Well, whatever puts a roof over your head. 276 00:13:13,689 --> 00:13:14,965 My dad's roof. 277 00:13:14,966 --> 00:13:16,829 I'm living with him. 278 00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:19,314 Because he's on his last legs and needs to be taken care of? 279 00:13:19,315 --> 00:13:21,007 I wish. 280 00:13:21,904 --> 00:13:23,457 I've already picked out the home. 281 00:13:24,493 --> 00:13:25,701 But no. Uh, 282 00:13:26,495 --> 00:13:28,359 I had nowhere else to go. 283 00:13:28,980 --> 00:13:30,361 Oh. 284 00:13:35,090 --> 00:13:37,506 So, uh, how's your mom? 285 00:13:38,541 --> 00:13:39,611 Dead. 286 00:13:41,372 --> 00:13:43,683 "June 6th, 1944. 287 00:13:43,684 --> 00:13:47,999 Allied troops landed on the Normandy coast, saving France's derriere." 288 00:13:49,380 --> 00:13:50,690 And what'd they give us? 289 00:13:50,691 --> 00:13:52,659 The guillotine and body odor. 290 00:13:55,110 --> 00:13:56,697 "The costly conflict of..." 291 00:13:57,250 --> 00:13:58,941 Hello? Hey! 292 00:14:00,046 --> 00:14:01,632 What are you doing? What is that? 293 00:14:01,633 --> 00:14:03,358 Oh, uh, this is a fidget spinner. 294 00:14:03,359 --> 00:14:06,051 My therapist said it helps focus my attention. 295 00:14:06,052 --> 00:14:09,227 Well, my attention is focused on breaking that with a hammer. 296 00:14:10,677 --> 00:14:12,402 We gotta get this moving, all right? 297 00:14:12,403 --> 00:14:14,162 We're getting to the point where the Allies win the war. 298 00:14:14,163 --> 00:14:16,545 - It's coming up. - Whoa. Whoa. Spoiler alert! 299 00:14:19,548 --> 00:14:20,583 Okay. 300 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:25,380 Oh. Okay. Um. 301 00:14:25,381 --> 00:14:26,451 Tools. 302 00:14:27,107 --> 00:14:28,521 Crib sheet. 303 00:14:28,522 --> 00:14:29,868 A what? 304 00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:31,248 Yeah, people call 'em cheat sheets. 305 00:14:31,249 --> 00:14:32,354 It's actually... 306 00:14:34,183 --> 00:14:35,666 index cards. 307 00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:37,565 You prioritize all your data, 308 00:14:37,566 --> 00:14:40,740 you put it down one at a time, and then use it as a study guide. 309 00:14:40,741 --> 00:14:44,710 Oh. Okay. Sounds like you got a handle on this. 310 00:14:44,711 --> 00:14:47,023 I'm gonna go upstairs and kill some Germans in Call of Duty. 311 00:14:47,024 --> 00:14:48,852 No, you're not. 312 00:14:48,853 --> 00:14:51,096 We're gonna do this together. Sit down. It's simple. 313 00:14:51,097 --> 00:14:53,995 We'll go through the data points, you write 'em down as they come to you, 314 00:14:53,996 --> 00:14:55,548 so you could come back and read 'em later, 315 00:14:55,549 --> 00:14:57,343 - all right? Okay. - All right. 316 00:14:57,344 --> 00:15:02,038 So, "June 6th, the Allies landed in a place called Cherbourg." 317 00:15:02,039 --> 00:15:05,939 Oh. Like the actress Cher and a cyborg. 318 00:15:08,562 --> 00:15:10,495 I-It's funny. Right, Grandpa? 319 00:15:11,703 --> 00:15:12,739 Yeah. 320 00:15:14,810 --> 00:15:15,845 Grandpa? 321 00:15:32,759 --> 00:15:34,416 I love alcohol. 322 00:15:35,796 --> 00:15:37,281 - Want another? - Yes. 323 00:15:39,145 --> 00:15:41,353 Oh, there he is! 324 00:15:41,354 --> 00:15:43,149 - Hi, Riley. Caitlin, hi. - Hi. 325 00:15:44,598 --> 00:15:45,772 What the... 326 00:15:46,290 --> 00:15:47,669 - Hey. - Oh. 327 00:15:47,670 --> 00:15:48,947 You smell just like you did in high school. 328 00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:51,259 - What? - Nothing. 329 00:15:51,260 --> 00:15:54,055 Sorry I was late. Uh... ...big drama at work. 330 00:15:54,056 --> 00:15:56,437 - Ooh, tell. - Well, my boss was like, 331 00:15:56,438 --> 00:15:58,957 "I need you to replace this master cylinder by six o'clock." 332 00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:00,372 And I was like, "That's impossible." 333 00:16:00,373 --> 00:16:01,890 And as it turns out, I was right 334 00:16:01,891 --> 00:16:03,409 'cause I didn't finish it until 6:15. 335 00:16:03,410 --> 00:16:05,066 Ooh. 336 00:16:05,067 --> 00:16:06,826 Oh, so, uh, you're a mechanic? 337 00:16:06,827 --> 00:16:11,486 No, he restores and modifies classic cars with modern parts. 338 00:16:11,487 --> 00:16:13,419 What do you call that job? 339 00:16:13,420 --> 00:16:14,421 Mechanic works. 340 00:16:15,698 --> 00:16:17,320 Oh, so, you didn't go to college? 341 00:16:17,321 --> 00:16:19,805 Nah, you don't need a degree to be a mechanic. 342 00:16:19,806 --> 00:16:21,532 Yeah, that's right. 343 00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:24,465 We didn't go to college, 344 00:16:24,466 --> 00:16:26,467 so stop making us feel like crap. 345 00:16:26,468 --> 00:16:27,778 I wasn't. I-- 346 00:16:27,779 --> 00:16:29,608 Gabe's an expert at what he does. 347 00:16:29,609 --> 00:16:32,714 And even without a degree, he makes a very good living. 348 00:16:32,715 --> 00:16:34,509 Could be better if you wanna talk to your dad. 349 00:16:34,510 --> 00:16:36,684 Bah! 350 00:16:36,685 --> 00:16:41,827 And he does something he loves, which makes him happy, okay? 351 00:16:41,828 --> 00:16:44,623 So you can think I'm a loser. 352 00:16:44,624 --> 00:16:47,902 - I don't-- - Because, yeah, my life is crap. 353 00:16:47,903 --> 00:16:49,697 But you have no right judging Gabe. 354 00:16:49,698 --> 00:16:52,700 Do you remember our assistant principal, Ms. Havishaw? 355 00:16:52,701 --> 00:16:55,152 The one who died alone and got eaten by her cat? 356 00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:58,396 That's gonna be you in 30 years! 357 00:17:00,778 --> 00:17:02,366 And I'm keeping the napkin! 358 00:17:08,165 --> 00:17:10,719 So, what's your cat's name? 359 00:17:14,412 --> 00:17:15,862 Carter? Oh... 360 00:17:17,864 --> 00:17:19,382 Don't leave me hanging. 361 00:17:19,383 --> 00:17:21,142 How'd you do on the test? 362 00:17:21,143 --> 00:17:23,732 Well, I finished on time, and... 363 00:17:24,733 --> 00:17:27,391 I think I got an A. Ya boy! 364 00:17:28,702 --> 00:17:30,151 That's great. That's great. 365 00:17:30,152 --> 00:17:33,431 Hey, Riley, ask "ya boy" how he did on the test. 366 00:17:34,122 --> 00:17:35,846 Oh, I don't have to ask. 367 00:17:35,847 --> 00:17:37,745 I got a call from his teacher. 368 00:17:37,746 --> 00:17:39,678 Big time news there. 369 00:17:39,679 --> 00:17:41,612 It's not "ya boy," it's "the man." 370 00:17:42,958 --> 00:17:45,719 Carter, do you wanna tell Grandpa why the teacher called? 371 00:17:48,653 --> 00:17:50,103 Nah. 372 00:17:54,142 --> 00:17:56,867 So... So, I-I was taking the test, right? 373 00:17:56,868 --> 00:18:00,043 And I was doing good. I-I definitely knew the stuff. 374 00:18:00,044 --> 00:18:01,287 Well, you're welcome. 375 00:18:02,288 --> 00:18:04,703 But then, I looked at the clock, 376 00:18:04,704 --> 00:18:06,739 and there was only ten minutes left. 377 00:18:06,740 --> 00:18:08,431 And I was only halfway through 'cause, 378 00:18:08,432 --> 00:18:11,917 you know, it takes me a while to get my thoughts together. 379 00:18:11,918 --> 00:18:13,608 So I panicked. 380 00:18:13,609 --> 00:18:15,886 But then, I remembered the cheat sheet Grandpa gave me 381 00:18:15,887 --> 00:18:17,234 was right there in my pocket. 382 00:18:22,618 --> 00:18:23,826 Grandpa gave you that? 383 00:18:25,069 --> 00:18:26,725 Index cards. They're for studying. 384 00:18:26,726 --> 00:18:28,314 No, you called it a cheat sheet. 385 00:18:30,316 --> 00:18:33,284 And maybe use a different name next time, 'cause it's pretty confusing. 386 00:18:34,492 --> 00:18:36,286 That's why the school called me. 387 00:18:36,287 --> 00:18:40,187 A janitor found the "cheat sheet" under Carter's desk. 388 00:18:40,188 --> 00:18:43,467 The one time a public employee does their job. 389 00:18:47,091 --> 00:18:49,576 You're in huge trouble. Go to your room. 390 00:18:52,786 --> 00:18:53,822 Go. 391 00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:58,964 You know, Carter used to struggle in school. 392 00:18:58,965 --> 00:19:03,071 But then, I got him the accommodations, and he was doing fine. 393 00:19:03,072 --> 00:19:04,866 Until, huh, what changed? 394 00:19:04,867 --> 00:19:06,110 Oh, yeah, you! 395 00:19:06,869 --> 00:19:08,318 I think Carter's a great kid. 396 00:19:08,319 --> 00:19:10,769 I know he's a great kid. I'm his mother. 397 00:19:10,770 --> 00:19:14,152 And I am barely keeping it together. 398 00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,499 I didn't need this right now. 399 00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:19,467 I don't want that kid to think there's anything wrong with him. 400 00:19:19,468 --> 00:19:21,262 Well, guess what, Dad. 401 00:19:21,263 --> 00:19:23,885 Everybody's got something wrong with them, okay? 402 00:19:23,886 --> 00:19:27,095 Look at me. I'm getting a divorce, living at home, 403 00:19:27,096 --> 00:19:29,960 and I scared off the one person who was going to be my friend. 404 00:19:29,961 --> 00:19:31,272 I'm a stereotype. 405 00:19:31,273 --> 00:19:34,310 The girl who peaked in high school. 406 00:19:34,311 --> 00:19:37,451 I don't like when you talk about yourself like that. 407 00:19:37,452 --> 00:19:39,385 You talk about me like that. 408 00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:42,733 But in a funny way. 409 00:19:45,632 --> 00:19:47,254 You're really doing a good job. 410 00:19:48,842 --> 00:19:50,464 - Really? - Yeah, really. 411 00:19:50,465 --> 00:19:53,639 It took courage to get out of a messy marriage 412 00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:56,574 and move here, take care of your kids. You did it all for them. 413 00:19:59,750 --> 00:20:00,889 You're a good mom. 414 00:20:03,478 --> 00:20:05,204 You did a good thing. You really did. 415 00:20:08,448 --> 00:20:10,035 Thank you, Dad. 416 00:20:10,036 --> 00:20:11,210 I learned from the best. 417 00:20:12,487 --> 00:20:14,868 And she's not here, so I'm all you got. 418 00:20:17,043 --> 00:20:19,527 Now I have to go deal with the little cheater. 419 00:20:19,528 --> 00:20:20,632 Use the ruler. 420 00:20:20,633 --> 00:20:21,703 It's near my bed. 421 00:20:23,601 --> 00:20:25,879 Let's just say he'll never stutter again. 422 00:20:27,053 --> 00:20:29,573 Yeah, but you don't wanna beat a stutter into him. 423 00:20:33,887 --> 00:20:35,336 Hey, Pops. 424 00:20:35,337 --> 00:20:37,511 I reorganized my backpack just like you told me. 425 00:20:37,512 --> 00:20:40,791 I made a color-coded filing system for all my classes. 426 00:20:42,517 --> 00:20:43,932 Grandpa, are you okay? 427 00:20:50,145 --> 00:20:51,871 I just... I got something in my eye. 428 00:20:53,873 --> 00:20:55,770 Morning. You left this at the bar. 429 00:20:55,771 --> 00:20:58,429 I would've chewed my foot off to get out of that trap. 430 00:20:59,672 --> 00:21:01,500 Sorry I abandoned you with Caitlin. 431 00:21:01,501 --> 00:21:02,881 Yeah, no worries. 432 00:21:02,882 --> 00:21:04,572 I mean, where does she get off judging us? 433 00:21:04,573 --> 00:21:07,368 She confiscates vapes for a living. 434 00:21:07,369 --> 00:21:10,095 And you saw how she gave me that judgmental look. 435 00:21:10,096 --> 00:21:11,546 Yeah. Totally. 436 00:21:13,133 --> 00:21:14,273 She's right here. 437 00:21:19,139 --> 00:21:20,519 Riley. 438 00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:21,935 Yeah, that's the look. 32910

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