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1
00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:16,348
Oh, no!
My Batman's gone!
2
00:00:16,349 --> 00:00:17,683
We don't have time!
3
00:00:19,144 --> 00:00:20,144
So, what should
we do for dinner?
4
00:00:20,145 --> 00:00:21,228
Mmm, Thai?
5
00:00:21,229 --> 00:00:23,147
We had Thai yesterday.
6
00:00:23,148 --> 00:00:25,399
Breakfast for dinner?
7
00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:27,609
Oh, my God. I love you with
the passion of a thousand suns,
8
00:00:27,610 --> 00:00:30,405
but have you lost
your goddamn mind?
9
00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:33,907
God, Gotham's
really gone to shit
10
00:00:33,908 --> 00:00:36,285
since the Bat Family disbanded
and the Joker quit being mayor.
11
00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:37,494
Oh, no. He didn't quit.
12
00:00:37,495 --> 00:00:39,747
He was impeached after
he paralyzed Babs.
13
00:00:39,748 --> 00:00:41,248
I wonder how Babs is doing.
14
00:00:41,249 --> 00:00:43,083
Haven't seen her
since the, uh...
15
00:00:43,084 --> 00:00:44,585
Mmm, how do I put it?
16
00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:48,797
The spectacular flame out
of the Gotham City Sirens?
17
00:00:48,798 --> 00:00:50,132
I hate water.
18
00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:51,633
Then why did you bring
us into the sewer?
19
00:00:51,634 --> 00:00:54,471
This is so cold,
my nips could cut glass.
20
00:00:58,308 --> 00:00:59,266
- Whoa.
- Holy shit!
21
00:00:59,267 --> 00:01:01,060
Shh!
22
00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:02,227
Sirens. Shh!
23
00:01:02,228 --> 00:01:03,854
It's imperative we stay quiet
24
00:01:03,855 --> 00:01:06,691
so we don't awaken
Enchantress' Skeleton Army.
25
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:11,529
There it is.
26
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,531
The Heart of Darkness.
27
00:01:14,532 --> 00:01:15,866
Wait, a diamond?
28
00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:18,786
You said Enchantress was
polluting Gotham's water supply
29
00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:21,121
with her army's cremains.
That's what you said!
30
00:01:21,122 --> 00:01:22,498
We're here to get information
31
00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:24,458
on Nightwing's stolen
body, remember?
32
00:01:24,459 --> 00:01:27,252
Did Enchantress poison
the water supply,
33
00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:30,214
or did you lie to us yet again?
34
00:01:30,215 --> 00:01:31,507
I say a lot of things.
35
00:01:31,508 --> 00:01:34,385
- Are they true? Who's to say?
- You!
36
00:01:34,386 --> 00:01:36,887
You are to say! We're
your fucking teammates,
37
00:01:36,888 --> 00:01:39,848
and yet you lie about every
single mission we go on.
38
00:01:39,849 --> 00:01:41,892
- Keep your voices down.
- I'm just here because you said
39
00:01:41,893 --> 00:01:44,770
I'd get to bash the boney
ass shit outta some skellies!
40
00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:47,981
How dare you!
41
00:01:49,442 --> 00:01:50,734
- Oh, fuck.
- Shit.
42
00:01:56,074 --> 00:01:57,116
Get them!
43
00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:59,202
Oh, fuck, yes!
44
00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:07,042
Ha!
45
00:02:08,753 --> 00:02:11,005
That necklace has
a demon inside it
46
00:02:11,006 --> 00:02:13,757
and it's worth a
fortune.
47
00:02:13,758 --> 00:02:15,217
Another stupid gem?
48
00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:16,510
This is, like, the hundredth one
49
00:02:16,511 --> 00:02:17,928
you tricked Ivy and
me into stealing!
50
00:02:17,929 --> 00:02:20,431
And me. There's four
of us here, remember?
51
00:02:20,432 --> 00:02:22,433
What do you even do with
all that money?
52
00:02:23,893 --> 00:02:26,729
Besides pay for my penthouse
you two freeloaders stay at?
53
00:02:28,064 --> 00:02:29,773
Ow!
54
00:02:29,774 --> 00:02:31,358
Harley, on your right!
55
00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:35,612
Ah!
56
00:02:38,074 --> 00:02:39,743
Hey!
57
00:02:41,202 --> 00:02:42,411
I gotta ask.
58
00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:43,996
What exactly are you three?
59
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:45,289
Us four!
60
00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:46,999
Uh, we're the
Gotham City Sirens.
61
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,542
Whoa, the Sirens.
62
00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:51,295
A cat, a plant, and
some sorta clown-thing.
63
00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:53,213
Honestly, the
branding's confusing.
64
00:02:53,214 --> 00:02:54,965
Shit. They're right.
65
00:02:54,966 --> 00:02:56,508
Like, what are we, you know?
66
00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:58,093
It's like the three of
us are not really a team.
67
00:02:58,094 --> 00:02:59,345
Four of us!
68
00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:01,305
That's it! I am out!
69
00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:02,973
I'd be better off alone.
70
00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:03,974
So would I.
71
00:03:03,975 --> 00:03:06,769
I'm out, too. Ciao, ciao.
72
00:03:08,813 --> 00:03:10,774
Ah!
73
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:14,235
My necklace!
74
00:03:18,823 --> 00:03:21,575
Guess this is the end of
the Gotham City Sirens.
75
00:03:21,576 --> 00:03:23,702
Sirens. Sirens.
76
00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:26,246
But it's been nice, you
know, just to relax.
77
00:03:26,247 --> 00:03:27,873
Not worrying about...
78
00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:29,416
I don't know,
fighting for anyone?
79
00:03:29,417 --> 00:03:31,335
Yeah! You know what?
We don't need 'em.
80
00:03:31,336 --> 00:03:32,878
We don't need
anybody, because, uh,
81
00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:35,047
we're Harley Quinn
and Poison Ivy.
82
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:37,675
Gotham City's Best-est,
Most Titillating-est,
83
00:03:37,676 --> 00:03:40,094
Most Exciting-est Couple ever!
84
00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:43,347
Oh, shit. I got cream
cheese on my good hoodie.
85
00:03:47,435 --> 00:03:48,686
Okay, what about pizza?
86
00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:50,229
I don't know, it depends.
87
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:51,647
- From where?
- Primo 'Za or Mangia Time?
88
00:03:51,648 --> 00:03:54,108
Which one has the tangy sauce?
89
00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:55,984
- Primo 'Za.
- Then not that one.
90
00:03:55,985 --> 00:03:57,361
Ugh.
91
00:03:57,362 --> 00:03:59,238
- Riddler and Clock King.
- Ew.
92
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,198
Matching outfits. So sad.
93
00:04:01,199 --> 00:04:02,700
Harley! Ivy!
94
00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:05,327
Look at those matching
outfits. Adorbs.
95
00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:07,830
Ah! About
time you joined us
96
00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:09,039
for a couple's jog.
97
00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:11,709
I would rather die.
98
00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:13,127
Riddle me this.
99
00:04:13,128 --> 00:04:14,545
What's two, yet one?
100
00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:16,338
What's dead, but hasn't ended?
101
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:18,716
What passes time,
yet never moves?
102
00:04:18,717 --> 00:04:20,217
Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm.
103
00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:22,052
Oh! A couple in a rut!
104
00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:24,138
Your words, not mine.
105
00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:25,514
That is a shitty riddle.
106
00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:26,765
Would've gotten it
with two more seconds.
107
00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:29,560
Hey, you know I'm
a birthday brat.
108
00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:31,979
Why didn't you come
to my party last week?
109
00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:34,273
Oh, sweetie,
I didn't invite them.
110
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,941
You know they never
go out anymore.
111
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:38,193
Everyone knows
they've clocked out.
112
00:04:38,194 --> 00:04:39,945
Okay, that is two
clock jokes now,
113
00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:40,863
you're not gettin' a third.
114
00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:42,406
And we go out. We go out.
115
00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:44,408
We get coffee, and we go...
116
00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:46,493
back to our place and
never leave and...
117
00:04:46,494 --> 00:04:47,995
We, on
the other hand...
118
00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:49,663
Okay. That is three. The
next one gets you hurt.
119
00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:51,707
...live very
active couples lives.
120
00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:53,417
Bar trivia every Wednes...
121
00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:55,502
And I signed us up for one of
those miniature golf leagues.
122
00:04:55,503 --> 00:04:58,005
Mmm. Whatever it takes to
keep the spark burning.
123
00:04:58,006 --> 00:05:00,257
Else you end up one of those
sexless, boring couples.
124
00:05:00,258 --> 00:05:01,633
Not us, though.
125
00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:03,719
Riddler always knows how
to make my cock turn.
126
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,429
Clock. I think you mean clock.
127
00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:06,972
I
know what I said.
128
00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:08,599
Ugh, those two are so smug.
129
00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:10,309
What's with their working out
130
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:13,771
and those perfect
asses? Like...
131
00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:16,816
Hey, I know something
fun we could do tonight.
132
00:05:19,444 --> 00:05:22,446
Welcome back to Nite
Goss with Tawny!
133
00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:23,614
Me.
134
00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:24,907
Ah, you're right, Ivy.
135
00:05:24,908 --> 00:05:27,117
Eatin' dinner where
we sleep is fun.
136
00:05:27,118 --> 00:05:28,452
I know, right?
137
00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:31,663
Lois Lane is a
Pulitzer Prize winner
138
00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:33,207
whose expose on LexCorp
139
00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:35,292
finally sent Lex Luthor to jail.
140
00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:37,544
- Yay!
- Now, Lois.
141
00:05:37,545 --> 00:05:39,755
Does Superman wear underwear
under the underwear
142
00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:42,800
over the overwear, or is
it a one-and-done deal?
143
00:05:42,801 --> 00:05:44,426
Um, I thought I was here to talk
144
00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:45,803
about my accomplishments.
145
00:05:45,804 --> 00:05:47,304
Nope!
146
00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:48,889
Is it me or did Lois
get her neck done?
147
00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:50,641
Oh, yeah, they all get their
neck done in Metropolis.
148
00:05:50,642 --> 00:05:52,184
Do I have anything in my teeth?
149
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:54,269
Now, you're
hosting the opening gala
150
00:05:54,270 --> 00:05:56,855
of the Metropolis
Superman Museum.
151
00:05:57,941 --> 00:05:59,608
Where's my invite, girl?
152
00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:01,944
Sorry, it's a
Metropolis-exclusive event.
153
00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:04,154
All to celebrate our
Big Blue Boy Scout,
154
00:06:04,155 --> 00:06:06,573
and everything that helped
him be the hero he is.
155
00:06:06,574 --> 00:06:08,534
It's the most exciting
event of the year.
156
00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:10,202
Girl, don't tempt me.
157
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,579
This is like a comet, a
once-in-a-lifetime event!
158
00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:14,248
Oh, I wish I could go.
159
00:06:14,249 --> 00:06:16,000
We gotta go!
160
00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:18,252
Uh, really? To that gala?
161
00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:19,837
Yes! Think about it, Ive.
162
00:06:19,838 --> 00:06:22,006
I mean, when's the last time
we went out on a Saturday?
163
00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:23,340
I think it was...
164
00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:24,842
Uh, March, of last year.
165
00:06:24,843 --> 00:06:27,386
Look, you heard Lois, okay?
166
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,680
It's a Metropolis exclusive.
167
00:06:29,681 --> 00:06:30,764
She also said it's a celebration
168
00:06:30,765 --> 00:06:31,849
of everythin' that helped him.
169
00:06:31,850 --> 00:06:33,684
I saved Supes' life, remember?
170
00:06:33,685 --> 00:06:34,852
And he never said "thank you."
171
00:06:34,853 --> 00:06:36,311
And I am gettin'
that "thank you."
172
00:06:36,312 --> 00:06:37,980
And leave Gotham?
173
00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:41,191
Come on.
174
00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:44,194
You're always sayin' ya
wanna go across the pond.
175
00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:46,030
I meant Europe.
176
00:06:46,031 --> 00:06:47,531
I don't know. You know?
177
00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:49,533
Wh... What do you
think, Catwoman?
178
00:06:49,534 --> 00:06:50,868
Ugh. You're going.
179
00:06:50,869 --> 00:06:53,579
- Please, please, please...
- Ugh! Fine.
180
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:56,206
Gotham
City's Best-est,
181
00:06:56,207 --> 00:06:59,209
Most Titillating-est,
Most Exciting-est Couple
182
00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:00,753
are going to the Big Apple!
183
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:01,879
It's the Big Apricot.
184
00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:04,256
We're going to the Big Apricot!
185
00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:24,861
- Ivy! Ivy!
- Hello!
186
00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:27,112
Man, it's been so long,
187
00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:29,239
I forgot what it feels
like to wear a dress.
188
00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:31,492
But isn't it great to
finally wear underwear again?
189
00:07:31,493 --> 00:07:33,118
I don't know about great,
190
00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:34,453
but, um...
191
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,914
Look at everyone.
They're, like, smiling.
192
00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:39,541
No one's fighting. How
do people live like this?
193
00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:41,251
I can't believe how good
everyone smells here.
194
00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:43,879
In Gotham, even the prettiest
people smell like piss.
195
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:46,590
Wow, they really
just kinda went all out.
196
00:07:46,591 --> 00:07:48,926
It's got that "new
museum" smell.
197
00:07:48,927 --> 00:07:50,636
And it'll
stay this way,
198
00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:52,554
as long as I get that
"thank you" from Superman.
199
00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:54,098
I'm sorry, what was
that last thing?
200
00:07:54,099 --> 00:07:55,432
Oh, I just said that,
201
00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:57,267
if he doesn't say "thank
you" for saving his life,
202
00:07:57,268 --> 00:07:58,727
I'm gonna lose my goddamn mind
203
00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:00,479
and take a bat to everything!
204
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:01,980
Please don't tell me
205
00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:04,024
you're making Superman's
special night all about you?
206
00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:06,443
- Oh, no! But, you know, I...
- But?
207
00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:07,821
Ooh, bubbles!
208
00:08:08,446 --> 00:08:09,822
Uh, excuse me.
209
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:11,073
How do you get all the
chunks out of the water?
210
00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:12,157
Chunks in the water?
211
00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:14,993
Oh, dear. Where are
we, Gotham City?
212
00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:15,994
L'Chaim.
213
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,417
Oh, you guys recycle here?
214
00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:23,168
Hey, baby? Look at
me for a second?
215
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:26,046
Um, I feel like we should just
stick to ourselves tonight.
216
00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:27,840
Just 'cause we don't
really know anyone here.
217
00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:28,924
Bruce!
218
00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:30,467
I knew it was you
the moment I smelled
219
00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:31,927
that sweet Gotham piss.
220
00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:34,304
Are ya here
for a B-A-T thing?
221
00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:37,474
These days I'm focusing
more on what really matters.
222
00:08:37,475 --> 00:08:38,601
My family...
223
00:08:39,269 --> 00:08:40,811
business.
224
00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:42,312
I decided to build the new
Wayne Enterprises Tower here,
225
00:08:42,313 --> 00:08:44,398
after the last one was
destroyed by a moon laser.
226
00:08:44,399 --> 00:08:46,066
Yada-yada. I can
see I'm boring you.
227
00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:48,485
The real reason I'm
here is to support
228
00:08:48,486 --> 00:08:50,320
my girlfriend, Lena.
229
00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:51,780
She's always so busy.
230
00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:53,407
It's nice to finally have
a night out together.
231
00:08:53,408 --> 00:08:54,783
Well, hello there!
232
00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:56,702
Ya look so sophisticated.
233
00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:57,911
And age-appropriate.
234
00:08:57,912 --> 00:08:59,163
You want
a medal, champ?
235
00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:02,082
Giving Brucie
proper comeuppance.
236
00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:05,002
Careful, don't
boss him around too much,
237
00:09:05,003 --> 00:09:06,670
or else he'll fall for you.
238
00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:08,005
He likes to call me Martha.
239
00:09:08,006 --> 00:09:09,506
She's joking.
240
00:09:09,507 --> 00:09:10,924
Uh, definitely joking...
241
00:09:10,925 --> 00:09:13,385
It's so wonderful to meet
some of Brucie's friends.
242
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:16,513
I was beginning to think this
ol' grumpy Gus didn't have any.
243
00:09:16,514 --> 00:09:18,349
I'm not grumpy. I'm stoic.
244
00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:19,725
You're grumpy.
245
00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:20,684
And don't correct me
in front of people.
246
00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:21,977
Yes, right, of course.
247
00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:23,729
Excuse me, everyone.
248
00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:25,189
Oh, she did get her neck done.
249
00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:27,524
Before we see the
man of the hour,
250
00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:28,650
or should I say,
251
00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:30,862
the Man of Steel of the hour...
252
00:09:33,031 --> 00:09:34,698
Hmm, I can win a Pulitzer Prize,
253
00:09:34,699 --> 00:09:36,075
but I can't get a laugh.
254
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:37,910
I'd like to welcome
tonight's benefactor,
255
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:39,661
the queen bee of Metropolis
256
00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:41,830
who made this museum possible.
257
00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:43,207
- Lena Luthor!
- Lena Luthor?
258
00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:45,542
Holy shit, that is Lex's sister.
259
00:09:45,543 --> 00:09:48,545
Thank you. Oh, thank you, all.
260
00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:50,381
You are too kind.
261
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,008
Now, you're probably thinking,
262
00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:55,594
"Gee. Isn't it
ironic for a Luthor
263
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:57,763
to fund a Superman museum?"
264
00:09:57,764 --> 00:10:00,974
But I assure you, I
am not my brother.
265
00:10:00,975 --> 00:10:02,142
I have a full head of hair.
266
00:10:03,478 --> 00:10:05,229
Hmm. A little
obvious, but sure.
267
00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:08,065
We have a wonderful night
for you beautiful people.
268
00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:10,818
Including a performance by the
Cirque du Supes acrobatics,
269
00:10:10,819 --> 00:10:12,152
followed by the unveiling
270
00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:15,030
of the crown jewel
of our collection,
271
00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:18,992
the most cherished artifact
in Superman history.
272
00:10:18,993 --> 00:10:20,452
What do ya think
the artifact is?
273
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:22,246
I hope it's not the ashes
of Krypto the Superdog.
274
00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:24,748
I heard he bit the Flash
and they had to... You know.
275
00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:26,583
No, no, the mutt's
here. Look, look, look.
276
00:10:29,004 --> 00:10:30,546
Hey, Supes! Supes!
277
00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:32,090
Sup-er-man!
278
00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:33,549
Supes!
279
00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:34,800
He probably didn't see me.
280
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:36,885
The dude sees through walls.
281
00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:38,303
That's a snub, babe.
282
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:39,638
Wha... Screw that!
283
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:40,973
I didn't shave my
pits to get snubbed.
284
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,599
Help! Help!
285
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:44,019
I'll save you, Jimmy!
286
00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:50,315
Ah...
287
00:10:50,942 --> 00:10:52,359
Oh, never mind.
288
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:54,278
Got my bowtie jammed in
this here automatic door
289
00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:56,238
and the pressure was
choking me to death.
290
00:10:56,239 --> 00:10:57,740
Thankfully, one of
these new-fangled
291
00:10:57,741 --> 00:10:59,533
Automaton Sentries freed me
292
00:10:59,534 --> 00:11:00,909
and gave me a chocolate-mint.
293
00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:03,078
Guess I don't need
ya, Mr. Superman, sir.
294
00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:04,496
Ha! Oh, wow.
295
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:07,333
That's, uh, that's so great
you don't need me, Jimmy.
296
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:08,459
So great.
297
00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:10,670
Supes, I want that "thank you!"
298
00:11:13,965 --> 00:11:15,341
Scanning.
299
00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:17,301
I could spit the mint out.
300
00:11:17,302 --> 00:11:20,054
You two don't
have tickets for entry.
301
00:11:20,055 --> 00:11:22,222
Gothamites don't belong here.
302
00:11:27,145 --> 00:11:29,980
Ugh! You know, screw
those hoity-toity cun...
303
00:11:29,981 --> 00:11:31,899
Oh, my God. This mattress.
304
00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:33,484
I believe in God now.
305
00:11:33,485 --> 00:11:35,944
Can we bring it to the hotel
and just watch Nite Goss,
306
00:11:35,945 --> 00:11:38,489
order room service,
stay in, and just...
307
00:11:38,490 --> 00:11:40,574
No! That's what we always do.
308
00:11:40,575 --> 00:11:41,825
I mean, ugh.
309
00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:43,285
We can't let those
yuppies win, okay?
310
00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:45,704
They wanna ruin our night,
we will ruin theirs.
311
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:47,206
We are breakin' into that museum
312
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:49,792
and stealin' their
prized bullshit thingy!
313
00:11:49,793 --> 00:11:51,168
Um, okay.
314
00:11:51,169 --> 00:11:54,129
We will do that, right
after this quick nap.
315
00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:55,798
I don't
know how Charlie and I
316
00:11:55,799 --> 00:11:57,049
will get through this.
317
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,801
How can I go on,
knowing he's thinking
318
00:11:58,802 --> 00:12:00,302
about those big tentacles
319
00:12:00,303 --> 00:12:02,054
the whole time we
are making love?
320
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,597
It's a perfectly normal fetish.
321
00:12:03,598 --> 00:12:04,682
Oh!
322
00:12:04,683 --> 00:12:06,100
You're into tentacles?
323
00:12:06,101 --> 00:12:07,726
I was thinkin' about
your vines.
324
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:09,813
All right.
325
00:12:14,776 --> 00:12:15,776
Oh, shit.
326
00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:17,403
We need another way up there.
327
00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:19,029
Ugh, if only
we could swing around
328
00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:21,699
on those aerial silks
without causin' a scene.
329
00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:23,033
Hey! What the hell is...
330
00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:25,327
We're not paying
you to stand around.
331
00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:28,831
We're paying you to swing
around on those aerial silks.
332
00:12:33,628 --> 00:12:34,712
Oh!
333
00:12:35,714 --> 00:12:36,922
Whoa!
334
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,966
Ah.
335
00:12:44,556 --> 00:12:45,431
Oh!
336
00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:48,476
That didn't look great.
337
00:12:52,313 --> 00:12:53,397
Ah! Hmm.
338
00:12:53,398 --> 00:12:54,815
Thought there'd be an
alarm or somethin'.
339
00:12:54,816 --> 00:12:56,525
This city's lazy.
340
00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:57,943
Hey, is that Superman?
341
00:12:57,944 --> 00:13:00,404
Sadly eating cookies?
342
00:13:00,405 --> 00:13:01,572
Must be his cheat day.
343
00:13:01,573 --> 00:13:02,906
Drop the artifact.
344
00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:04,783
If you say so.
345
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,076
Ah! Ah! Ah!
346
00:13:06,077 --> 00:13:07,995
Kill the piss-smelling humans.
347
00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:09,413
Oh, fuck off!
348
00:13:09,414 --> 00:13:11,415
Sweating is the sign
of a healthy body! Ha!
349
00:13:14,669 --> 00:13:15,836
Ah!
350
00:13:17,339 --> 00:13:19,548
There's no greenery
in this damn museum!
351
00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:20,758
Ah! Luckily,
352
00:13:20,759 --> 00:13:22,552
I never leave home
without a snack.
353
00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:28,807
Ah, shit.
354
00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:33,270
Ivy!
355
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:39,735
Nice move.
356
00:13:39,736 --> 00:13:41,446
Yeah, that was hot, wasn't it?
357
00:13:44,908 --> 00:13:46,825
Ah!
358
00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:54,041
Harley, on your right!
359
00:13:56,628 --> 00:13:57,836
- I should help.
- Ha!
360
00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:59,838
What are you gonna do, Brucie?
361
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:01,048
Let 'em have their fun.
362
00:14:03,093 --> 00:14:05,387
Ah!
363
00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:19,942
Holy shit, that was incredible!
364
00:14:19,943 --> 00:14:21,819
I haven't felt like
this in so long.
365
00:14:21,820 --> 00:14:24,530
I know, godda... I missed
doing stuff like this with you.
366
00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:26,573
It makes me wanna take you
right here and just fu...
367
00:14:26,574 --> 00:14:27,991
Oh, boy, here it comes.
368
00:14:27,992 --> 00:14:31,662
Give it up for the stunt
spectacular, everyone!
369
00:14:31,663 --> 00:14:33,163
And now,
370
00:14:33,164 --> 00:14:36,291
the unveiling of the cream
of our Superman crop.
371
00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:38,836
Superman's most cherished item.
372
00:14:38,837 --> 00:14:40,004
His dirty underwear?
373
00:14:40,005 --> 00:14:42,214
- His first cape.
- Aw.
374
00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:43,882
The very blanket
he was wrapped in
375
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,759
when he arrived on Earth.
376
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:47,553
Isn't it fab?
377
00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:50,014
That was my second guess.
378
00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:54,143
Hey, whoa. Hands off.
379
00:14:54,144 --> 00:14:55,519
We gotta go. We gotta go.
380
00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:57,021
She's all mine. Bye.
We're going to the hotel.
381
00:14:57,022 --> 00:14:58,355
Later. Bye. Right now.
382
00:14:58,356 --> 00:15:00,065
What's wrong? Wasn't
that incredible?
383
00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:02,526
Aren't you excited and happy
and completely fulfilled?
384
00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:04,862
Hang on. Babe, is that
what this was about?
385
00:15:04,863 --> 00:15:06,864
Riddler and Clock King's
386
00:15:06,865 --> 00:15:08,532
"losing the spark"
bullshit? Come on.
387
00:15:08,533 --> 00:15:10,784
It's not about
them, it's about us!
388
00:15:10,785 --> 00:15:12,077
We stay in all the time,
389
00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:13,537
we stopped gettin'
invited to things.
390
00:15:13,538 --> 00:15:15,873
Hell, I stopped wearin'
bras, and not in a sexy
391
00:15:15,874 --> 00:15:17,541
"Ooh, I'm not
wearin' a bra" way.
392
00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:18,876
We used to be fireworks,
393
00:15:18,877 --> 00:15:20,294
and now, we're
piss-scented candles
394
00:15:20,295 --> 00:15:22,212
waitin' to be all blown out.
395
00:15:22,213 --> 00:15:24,715
I don't think I could
survive us blowin' out.
396
00:15:24,716 --> 00:15:29,553
Harley, you sweet,
beautiful, dummy, dum-dum.
397
00:15:29,554 --> 00:15:33,474
We don't need to manufacture
fireworks between us.
398
00:15:33,475 --> 00:15:35,726
Us sitting around the
house, just bored?
399
00:15:35,727 --> 00:15:37,603
That's the most exciting
thing I can think of.
400
00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:39,730
Aw, Ives. Mmm.
401
00:15:39,731 --> 00:15:42,775
So you wanna go back to
the hotel to sit around?
402
00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:44,985
Ooh.
403
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:50,949
On second thought,
maybe staying in all day
404
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,368
isn't such a bad idea.
405
00:15:52,369 --> 00:15:55,955
Mmm. No.
406
00:15:57,916 --> 00:15:59,500
We're the front page
407
00:15:59,501 --> 00:16:02,086
of the most prestigious
newspaper in the world!
408
00:16:02,087 --> 00:16:03,754
That would be
incredibly meaningful
409
00:16:03,755 --> 00:16:05,422
if it was, like, 1998.
410
00:16:05,423 --> 00:16:07,675
"Join me at the Tavern
Over The Green at noon.
411
00:16:07,676 --> 00:16:09,093
Lots of love, Lena."
412
00:16:09,094 --> 00:16:11,261
Ah, no way. Are you kidding me?
413
00:16:11,262 --> 00:16:14,223
I don't care how much she's
spent on hair implants.
414
00:16:14,224 --> 00:16:16,183
The Luthors? They're bad juju.
415
00:16:16,184 --> 00:16:17,643
She'll probably
pay for the meal.
416
00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:21,105
God damn it. All right,
hand me my underwear.
417
00:16:21,106 --> 00:16:22,731
Not really a
happenin' spot, huh?
418
00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:24,149
Actually,
I rented it out.
419
00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:26,110
I wanted to thank you
both for taking my gala
420
00:16:26,111 --> 00:16:27,695
to the next level last night.
421
00:16:27,696 --> 00:16:30,030
Enchantress' thingy?
422
00:16:30,031 --> 00:16:31,949
The Heart of Darkness,
huh?
423
00:16:31,950 --> 00:16:34,284
Yeah, no way I'm
trusting a Luthor
424
00:16:34,285 --> 00:16:37,705
who casually wears a
necklace with a demon in it.
425
00:16:37,706 --> 00:16:39,623
- Come on. Let's go, Harls.
- Oh, we're going!
426
00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:40,958
Wait... A demon?
427
00:16:40,959 --> 00:16:42,710
I got this necklace
from Sotheby's.
428
00:16:42,711 --> 00:16:43,961
Catwoman.
429
00:16:43,962 --> 00:16:45,629
You're right to be apprehensive.
430
00:16:45,630 --> 00:16:47,756
Luthors are notoriously
wretched billionaires
431
00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:49,842
who use their wealth for
power and self-interest.
432
00:16:49,843 --> 00:16:50,926
But not me.
433
00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:52,428
All I want is to make sure
434
00:16:52,429 --> 00:16:55,472
Metropolis remains the
perfect City of Tomorrow.
435
00:16:55,473 --> 00:16:56,640
Ivy, I must know,
436
00:16:56,641 --> 00:16:58,392
what do you think
of Centennial Park?
437
00:16:58,393 --> 00:17:00,602
I may have run the
committee that planned it.
438
00:17:00,603 --> 00:17:02,479
I mean, you know,
it's pretty good.
439
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:04,189
You told me it was, "the
best use of green space
440
00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:05,149
you've ever seen."
441
00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:06,817
Okay, it's good.
442
00:17:06,818 --> 00:17:08,527
But the rest of
the city, you know,
443
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,529
it's all chrome
and it's sterile.
444
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:12,614
There's zero greenery elsewhere.
445
00:17:12,615 --> 00:17:13,824
The museum, even.
446
00:17:13,825 --> 00:17:17,077
This rooftop. It's
just... It's depressing.
447
00:17:17,078 --> 00:17:18,579
Oh, God, you're right.
448
00:17:18,580 --> 00:17:22,417
Okay, well, what would you
suggest we do about that?
449
00:17:44,647 --> 00:17:46,774
I am Eclipso,
450
00:17:46,775 --> 00:17:49,318
the Spirit of God's Wrath.
451
00:17:49,319 --> 00:17:51,653
I will have my vengeance...
452
00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:53,030
Oh, shit.
453
00:17:53,031 --> 00:17:55,032
- Ah!
- Oh, shit.
454
00:17:55,033 --> 00:17:56,700
I am so sorry. I got...
455
00:17:56,701 --> 00:17:58,660
...a little
bit carried away.
456
00:17:58,661 --> 00:18:01,663
- And I didn't mean to...
- Oh, marvelous!
457
00:18:01,664 --> 00:18:02,539
I loved it.
458
00:18:02,540 --> 00:18:04,708
- I love you!
- Okay, ew.
459
00:18:04,709 --> 00:18:07,127
Oh, and I love you!
460
00:18:07,128 --> 00:18:10,881
You are just completely
unpredictable!
461
00:18:10,882 --> 00:18:12,383
Much obliged?
462
00:18:12,384 --> 00:18:13,926
I'm sorry, so are you not
upset about the diamond?
463
00:18:13,927 --> 00:18:17,221
Or the demon blood all
over your fab Gucci dress?
464
00:18:17,222 --> 00:18:19,223
I was gonna
burn this anyway.
465
00:18:19,224 --> 00:18:21,058
I never repeat an outfit.
466
00:18:21,059 --> 00:18:23,268
Yeah, no, I... I've
only worn this once.
467
00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:26,563
You two are exactly
what we need here.
468
00:18:26,564 --> 00:18:28,565
Trouble? Where's the
trouble? I heard a demon.
469
00:18:28,566 --> 00:18:30,275
Where is he? Let me at 'im!
470
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:31,527
Oh.
471
00:18:31,528 --> 00:18:33,237
You took care of
it. Cool. Cool.
472
00:18:33,238 --> 00:18:34,947
Guess you don't need
me anymore either.
473
00:18:34,948 --> 00:18:36,240
Nobody needs me anymore.
474
00:18:36,241 --> 00:18:39,536
I'll take one for the team.
475
00:18:41,371 --> 00:18:42,913
So, I'm thinkin'
of breakin' into
476
00:18:42,914 --> 00:18:45,749
the Metropolis Federal Reserve.
477
00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:48,085
Uh, I just said I'm
gonna rob a bank
478
00:18:48,086 --> 00:18:49,128
and ya didn't even blink.
479
00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:50,462
I know you're not serious.
480
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,006
Your heart's beating too slow.
481
00:18:52,007 --> 00:18:54,133
And with the city's new
Automaton Security System,
482
00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:55,467
they'd stop you before
you even entered.
483
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:57,219
What? Those chrome-domes
didn't stop me
484
00:18:57,220 --> 00:19:00,139
from breakin' into your museum
and stealin' your baby blankie.
485
00:19:00,140 --> 00:19:01,473
Yeah, they did.
486
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,475
My blanket's still
safe in the museum.
487
00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:06,061
The System calculated that
the best way to stop you
488
00:19:06,062 --> 00:19:07,438
was to let you "win."
489
00:19:07,439 --> 00:19:09,440
Crime isn't possible
here anymore.
490
00:19:09,441 --> 00:19:12,443
That museum isn't a
testament to my achievements.
491
00:19:12,444 --> 00:19:14,111
It's a tomb, and I'm a relic.
492
00:19:14,112 --> 00:19:16,781
- Okay. That sucks.
- Yeah. It sucks.
493
00:19:19,242 --> 00:19:20,576
Sounds to me like
you're in a rut.
494
00:19:20,577 --> 00:19:22,453
You spent so long
defining yourself
495
00:19:22,454 --> 00:19:24,288
by your career, your goals.
496
00:19:24,289 --> 00:19:26,331
But a rut doesn't mean
life's ending, okay?
497
00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:27,833
It means you need
a new beginning.
498
00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:29,460
When's the last time
you took a vacation?
499
00:19:29,461 --> 00:19:31,128
A few months ago,
I went to space
500
00:19:31,129 --> 00:19:32,463
to alter the Earth's rotation
501
00:19:32,464 --> 00:19:34,423
and turn back time
to undo Lois' death.
502
00:19:34,424 --> 00:19:37,092
Okay. When's the last time
you went to space for fun?
503
00:19:37,093 --> 00:19:38,927
Metropolis may
not need Superman,
504
00:19:38,928 --> 00:19:40,679
but you know who does?
505
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,014
Superman.
506
00:19:42,015 --> 00:19:43,807
Wow. You are so toned.
507
00:19:43,808 --> 00:19:45,351
I've never taken a break.
508
00:19:45,352 --> 00:19:47,019
Who am I if I'm not Superman?
509
00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:48,520
Figuring that out
510
00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:50,774
sounds like the
adventure of a lifetime.
511
00:19:52,025 --> 00:19:53,567
Gosh darnit, you're right!
512
00:19:53,568 --> 00:19:56,362
It's time Superman
went on sabbatical!
513
00:19:56,363 --> 00:19:58,155
And I think I'll take
that cool reporter,
514
00:19:58,156 --> 00:19:59,239
Clark Kent, with me.
515
00:20:00,742 --> 00:20:03,160
Huh. That's the second time
you've saved me, Harley.
516
00:20:04,245 --> 00:20:06,789
And still no "thank you."
517
00:20:06,790 --> 00:20:08,916
And with that, Supes peaced out.
518
00:20:08,917 --> 00:20:10,167
Oh, wait, and get this.
519
00:20:10,168 --> 00:20:12,127
Superman is totally
cheatin' on Lois
520
00:20:12,128 --> 00:20:13,712
with some guy named Clark Kent.
521
00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:16,256
So, I've heard they spend
a lot of time together,
522
00:20:16,257 --> 00:20:18,258
but no one ever sees
them in the same room.
523
00:20:18,259 --> 00:20:19,927
Kinda like they're hiding.
524
00:20:19,928 --> 00:20:21,220
Hiding from Lois.
525
00:20:22,681 --> 00:20:24,348
Ah. I can't believe
I'm saying this,
526
00:20:24,349 --> 00:20:26,600
but I think I'm
gonna miss this view.
527
00:20:26,601 --> 00:20:29,603
Too bad
we're goin' back to Gotham.
528
00:20:29,604 --> 00:20:31,063
I think we should stay.
529
00:20:31,064 --> 00:20:32,981
You wanna stay?
'Cause I was thinkin'...
530
00:20:32,982 --> 00:20:34,400
Okay, we gotta stop talking at
the same time. Let me just...
531
00:20:34,401 --> 00:20:36,276
While you were with Supes,
532
00:20:36,277 --> 00:20:37,778
Lena made me an offer
533
00:20:37,779 --> 00:20:40,197
to run the Metropolis
Green Initiative.
534
00:20:40,198 --> 00:20:42,616
Oh, my God, Ives.
That's incredible!
535
00:20:42,617 --> 00:20:44,493
That's perfect for
you. What is it?
536
00:20:44,494 --> 00:20:45,828
You know the garden
I made? Okay.
537
00:20:45,829 --> 00:20:48,706
We're gonna do that
to the whole city.
538
00:20:48,707 --> 00:20:50,833
I get to turn this silver city
539
00:20:50,834 --> 00:20:53,627
into the greenest
place on Earth.
540
00:20:53,628 --> 00:20:55,546
They don't view me as a villain.
541
00:20:55,547 --> 00:20:58,173
They get it. They get
what I'm trying to do.
542
00:20:58,174 --> 00:20:59,967
I feel the same.
I like me here.
543
00:20:59,968 --> 00:21:01,468
I like us here.
544
00:21:01,469 --> 00:21:04,054
Maybe Metropolis is just
what we need, a fresh start.
545
00:21:05,098 --> 00:21:07,307
We should buy a condo here!
546
00:21:07,308 --> 00:21:09,059
You already bought
a condo, didn't you?
547
00:21:09,060 --> 00:21:10,310
I couldn't turn down the offer.
548
00:21:10,311 --> 00:21:12,771
It was an 8.5%,
jumbo 50-year ARM.
549
00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:15,733
Wait, what asshole would
give you such a horrible...
550
00:21:15,734 --> 00:21:17,401
- Oh, it was Bruce Wayne.
- It was Bruce.
551
00:21:17,402 --> 00:21:19,653
He's got a building. Yeah.
552
00:21:19,654 --> 00:21:21,989
Fuck it! I'm in.
553
00:21:21,990 --> 00:21:23,449
I'm all in with you.
554
00:21:23,450 --> 00:21:25,325
Dang. I thought you'd
need way more convincin'
555
00:21:25,326 --> 00:21:26,702
to be this spontaneous.
556
00:21:26,703 --> 00:21:29,204
Ey, guess you're kinda
rubbing off on me.
557
00:21:31,249 --> 00:21:34,418
Oh, and I got us appointments
with Lois' neck person.
558
00:21:34,419 --> 00:21:37,546
Whoo! You hear
that, Big Apricot?
559
00:21:37,547 --> 00:21:40,090
Harley Quinn and Poison
Ivy are gettin' new necks,
560
00:21:40,091 --> 00:21:42,176
and movin' to Metropolis!
561
00:22:03,114 --> 00:22:05,074
movin' to Metropolis!
562
00:22:07,243 --> 00:22:10,454
What. A. Mess.
39720
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