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NARRATOR: Previously on Futurama.
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(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
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(WHOOPING)
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00:00:54,450 --> 00:00:55,640
(FRY EXCLAIMS)
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00:01:01,620 --> 00:01:02,680
Hey?
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00:01:04,260 --> 00:01:06,590
(SPEAKING ALIEN LANGUAGE)
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It has now been one month
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since space ripped open
like flimsy human skin:
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00:01:38,060 --> 00:01:41,120
Terrified earthlings
are beginning to grow exhausted:
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00:01:41,430 --> 00:01:43,300
(ALL SCREAMING)
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(YAWNING)
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00:01:45,370 --> 00:01:47,530
(ALL SCREAMING)
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00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:50,940
Professor, sprinkle us with
wisdom from your mighty brain.
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How scared should we be?
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Somewhere between
not at all and entirely.
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I call entirely.
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(SCREAMING)
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(WHOOPING)
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00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:05,310
Scientists believe the rip is a gateway
to another universe,
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00:02:05,390 --> 00:02:08,410
but do not know
what mysteries lie beyond.
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00:02:08,490 --> 00:02:10,790
However, in this reporter's opinion
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00:02:10,860 --> 00:02:13,690
gruesome death awaits us all!
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(LAUGHING)
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And now with sports,
here's Sportsbot 5000.
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All sports canceled:
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To better understand the anomaly,
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I will now focus its radiation
on a giant medium-sized ant
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00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:37,980
to see what happens.
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00:02:38,050 --> 00:02:40,820
What's going on here?
I was told there would be sugar syrup.
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Quiet, you.
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(SCREAMING)
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Oh, hey, everyone, this is Colleen.
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ALL: Hello!
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I like your shoes.
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(LAUGHING)
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This is awkward.
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Introducing your new girlfriend
to Chesty McNag-nag.
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(LAUGHING)
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00:03:07,450 --> 00:03:09,380
Oh, don't mind him. I'll turn him off.
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Hey, you can't turn me off...
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Hi. I'm Leela.
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00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:15,620
Hi, Leela, hi, everyone.
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Sorry I've been taking up
so much of Fry's time.
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He's just so interesting.
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Have you seen how much
cotton candy he can eat?
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Oh, my, yes. 5.1 pounds.
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That's why his blood
is so good on pancakes.
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00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:31,270
Well, got to skedoodle-oodle.
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00:03:31,340 --> 00:03:34,640
We're taking a cuddle-cab
to Hug-a-Bunny Village.
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00:03:36,450 --> 00:03:37,570
(RETCHING)
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This lovey-dovey stuff is making me vomit
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00:03:44,450 --> 00:03:46,980
from my saltwater
and freshwater stomachs.
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It is pretty sickening.
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00:03:48,790 --> 00:03:52,350
No, the double-vomit is a sign of joy.
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00:03:52,430 --> 00:03:55,830
Fry told me how he and Colleen first met.
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00:04:03,710 --> 00:04:06,640
So, how did you and Colleen first meet?
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00:04:06,710 --> 00:04:07,900
Well...
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Something about seeing it
on the Jumbotron
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makes it so much more real.
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00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:16,410
It's so scary.
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00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:17,920
What are you supposed to do
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00:04:17,990 --> 00:04:20,960
when the whole universe
is coming to an end?
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00:04:21,420 --> 00:04:22,550
I have a thought.
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00:04:26,260 --> 00:04:28,630
This is gonna be juicy.
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What? Oh, man!
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00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:33,060
Speaking of sappy love...
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Want to tell them, Kiffy?
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Yes, Amy and I have a big announcement.
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00:04:37,910 --> 00:04:39,770
I... That is, we...
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00:04:39,840 --> 00:04:41,670
(STAMMERING)
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00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:43,510
Oh, I'm just so excited.
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00:04:43,580 --> 00:04:46,210
Kif has asked me to be his Fonfon Ru.
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- Mazel tov!
- Wonderful!
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00:04:48,380 --> 00:04:50,010
What the hell does that mean?
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00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:53,280
It means I've asked Amy to join my family.
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00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:58,420
And you're all invited to my family swamp
for our Fonfon Rubok ceremony.
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00:04:58,490 --> 00:04:59,760
If I had ever heard of it,
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00:04:59,830 --> 00:05:02,420
it would have been
what I had always dreamed of.
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00:05:02,500 --> 00:05:03,520
(EX CLAIMING)
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00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:06,260
And our parents will be meeting
for the first time ever.
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00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:10,740
(GASPING) That's even more awkward
than Fry's two bimbos meeting each other.
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Count me in.
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(TURNS BENDER OFF)
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(BAGPIPES PLAYING)
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00:05:53,780 --> 00:05:56,340
Mr. And Mrs. Wong, aren't you excited
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00:05:56,420 --> 00:05:59,220
that we're all about to be joined
in a single family?
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00:05:59,290 --> 00:06:00,310
You can't borrow money.
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00:06:00,390 --> 00:06:01,410
(ANNOYED GRUNT)
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00:06:01,490 --> 00:06:04,320
Kif's parents come late
and we have to stand around in swamp
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00:06:04,390 --> 00:06:06,880
getting eaten alive by damn bugs?
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00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:08,450
Mrs. Wong, no.
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00:06:08,530 --> 00:06:13,630
The final stage of my species' life cycle
is a colony of flying hookworms.
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00:06:13,700 --> 00:06:16,300
You just squashed part of my father.
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00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:18,400
(BUZZING LOUDLY)
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00:06:18,470 --> 00:06:20,840
- Welcome.
- Sorry.
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00:06:20,910 --> 00:06:23,000
I guess you got plenty of
bugs to spare though, huh?
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That was my left testicle.
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00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:28,670
And the awkward meter
goes up another notch.
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00:06:28,750 --> 00:06:30,050
(IMITATING ALARM RINGING)
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00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:37,960
Wow, Colleen, you look so beautiful
in the light of the swamp gas.
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00:06:38,030 --> 00:06:40,220
Thanks. This is really fun.
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I love going to exotic worlds
and getting hammered.
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00:06:43,630 --> 00:06:44,660
Me, too.
104
00:06:44,730 --> 00:06:47,000
Two more Harvey Wallclimbers.
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00:06:57,910 --> 00:07:01,440
Leela, I can't help
but notice you're unescorted.
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00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:05,080
Might I escort you behind that bush
for the next five minutes?
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00:07:05,150 --> 00:07:07,250
Nothing would revolt me more.
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00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:08,950
Then how about that shrub?
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00:07:11,490 --> 00:07:13,290
Ooh! Rubok is begun.
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00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:21,630
I am the grand priestess.
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00:07:22,570 --> 00:07:24,800
Aren't you also the grand midwife?
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00:07:24,870 --> 00:07:26,600
And the grand lunch lady.
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00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:29,040
I work five jobs, all grand.
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00:07:29,110 --> 00:07:31,440
Kif of the clan Kroker,
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please trescend the Rubok Etlon
with your Fonfon Smizmar Ru.
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- What?
- Get in the mud.
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00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:45,890
This mud is the petroleum from
a billion generations of Kif's ancestors.
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As you become one with the ooze,
so you become one with the clan Kroker.
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(RUMBLING)
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(ALL GASPING)
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00:07:58,540 --> 00:08:02,100
Oh, Kif, it's like a movie
with this happening in it.
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00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,680
Is the best man present?
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00:08:10,750 --> 00:08:12,310
Guilty as charged.
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00:08:12,390 --> 00:08:14,360
Kindly hose the couple.
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00:08:22,260 --> 00:08:27,260
As it was, so it is.
You may now eat the snake.
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If you so choose.
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00:08:30,270 --> 00:08:31,640
(BOTH EX CLAIM IN DISGUST)
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00:08:31,710 --> 00:08:34,640
It's not part of the ceremony.
I just had an extra snake.
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00:08:34,710 --> 00:08:38,340
Rubok is complete. Throw the bouquet.
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00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,110
(ALL CLAMORING)
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Are you going to eat that?
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(BUZZING)
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00:09:05,110 --> 00:09:08,100
BENDER: Fry, run, run.
Get over here, oh, my God, oh, my God!
134
00:09:08,180 --> 00:09:09,170
What? What is it?
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00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:11,800
Shut up already! Calculon's on TV!
136
00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:16,010
I beg you, Calculon,
don't ring that door chime:
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00:09:16,090 --> 00:09:18,610
I have no choice, Monique.
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00:09:18,690 --> 00:09:20,090
Whoever the blackmailer is,
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00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:25,060
he lives behind this hideous
yet strangely familiar door.
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00:09:27,630 --> 00:09:30,530
Calculon residence.
Oh, hello, Mr. Calculon.
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00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:33,830
Son of a bit. This is my house.
142
00:09:33,900 --> 00:09:37,770
But that means I'm blackmailing myself.
143
00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:39,500
Why didn't you tell me, Monique?
144
00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:41,570
I tried to, but I couldn't.
145
00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:44,940
Oh, Calculon, I'm afraid
you have a fourth personality
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00:09:45,010 --> 00:09:48,510
the other three don't know about,
and it and I
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00:09:48,580 --> 00:09:50,070
are lovers!
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(GASPS)
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00:09:52,220 --> 00:09:54,880
How's Calculon going to take this, Fry,
150
00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:58,790
especially after that
humiliating tennis tournament?
151
00:09:58,860 --> 00:10:00,390
- Fry?
- Don't know, Bender.
152
00:10:00,460 --> 00:10:02,830
Tonight's my big date with Colleen.
I got to run.
153
00:10:02,900 --> 00:10:05,300
But me and you like to watch together.
154
00:10:05,370 --> 00:10:10,330
Look, I got you a cabbage to snack on.
Humans like cabbage, right?
155
00:10:25,820 --> 00:10:27,580
Step right up to the 2D Tunnel of Love.
156
00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:31,090
Not one, not three,
but two glorious dimensions
157
00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:32,720
for the price of a single ticket.
158
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:36,860
Keep your hands in the car,
shut up, and have fun.
159
00:10:40,470 --> 00:10:43,060
Wow, you even look beautiful in 2D.
160
00:10:43,140 --> 00:10:44,200
I do?
161
00:10:44,270 --> 00:10:46,900
But from your perspective,
I'm just a line segment.
162
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:48,940
FRY: A really hot line segment.
163
00:10:49,010 --> 00:10:50,600
So, listen, sweetie pie,
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I was thinking maybe we should
take this to the next step.
165
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Really?
166
00:10:54,850 --> 00:10:56,610
Yes. Colleen...
167
00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:04,780
...will you be moved in with by me?
168
00:11:04,860 --> 00:11:05,850
(COLLEEN GASPS SOFTLY)
169
00:11:06,260 --> 00:11:07,690
- Way to go.
- Hooray, hooray.
170
00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:09,860
- That's great.
- You're moving in with her?
171
00:11:09,930 --> 00:11:11,660
Why can't she move in with us?
172
00:11:11,730 --> 00:11:13,890
I could just curl up at the foot of the bed.
173
00:11:13,970 --> 00:11:15,370
(WHIMPERING)
174
00:11:15,770 --> 00:11:17,240
Listen up, everyone.
175
00:11:17,310 --> 00:11:21,710
I know you've all been extremely worried
about the cosmic anomaly.
176
00:11:21,780 --> 00:11:23,340
The what? Oh, right.
177
00:11:23,410 --> 00:11:24,970
But there's good news.
178
00:11:25,050 --> 00:11:29,580
We're all going to learn more about it
at a scientific conference.
179
00:11:29,820 --> 00:11:31,720
(ALL SCREAMING)
180
00:11:40,260 --> 00:11:42,560
MAN: Like a city made of marshmallow.
181
00:11:46,570 --> 00:11:51,840
Welcome: I am the pickled head
of Stephen Hawking on a way-cool rocket:
182
00:11:51,910 --> 00:11:53,370
Black hole Hawking?
183
00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:56,040
Wow, if I knew I was going to meet you,
184
00:11:56,110 --> 00:11:58,410
I would have done something
with my hair.
185
00:11:58,480 --> 00:11:59,950
You should have:
186
00:12:00,150 --> 00:12:04,240
In conclusion, I understand
nothing about the anomaly,
187
00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:09,020
even after cashing the huge check I got
for writing a book about it:
188
00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:14,130
I know this anomaly is terrifying.
189
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:18,630
But as scientists, is it not our sworn duty
to seek out knowledge,
190
00:12:18,700 --> 00:12:21,290
even at the cost of our very lives?
191
00:12:21,370 --> 00:12:22,390
No:
192
00:12:22,470 --> 00:12:26,740
I say we must mount an expedition
to the anomaly forthwith.
193
00:12:26,810 --> 00:12:28,370
I agree.
194
00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:29,930
Wernstrom!
195
00:12:30,010 --> 00:12:33,950
Professor Farnsworth is correct.
Only a manned mission can...
196
00:12:34,020 --> 00:12:35,180
(YELPS)
197
00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:38,410
Don't listen to that crackpot!
198
00:12:38,490 --> 00:12:39,780
But I'm agreeing with you.
199
00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:43,120
I'll make you eat those words, you moron!
200
00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:45,020
(WERNSTROM EX CLAIMS)
201
00:12:45,090 --> 00:12:47,390
I volunteer to lead the expedition.
202
00:12:47,460 --> 00:12:48,790
I have a squad of graduate students
203
00:12:48,860 --> 00:12:50,960
eager to risk their lives
for a letter of recommendation.
204
00:12:51,030 --> 00:12:52,190
(STUDENTS CLAMORING)
205
00:12:52,270 --> 00:12:54,360
Your squad sucks bosons!
206
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:58,810
My team is twice as qualified
and three times as expendable.
207
00:12:58,870 --> 00:13:00,170
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
208
00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:03,770
Oh, tough talk for someone
with only one Fields Medal.
209
00:13:04,010 --> 00:13:06,280
ALL: Ooh!
210
00:13:06,350 --> 00:13:07,410
Ooh!
211
00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:09,580
Wernstrom, I ought to...
212
00:13:09,650 --> 00:13:10,880
(BOTH GROANING)
213
00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:15,450
I didn't know I could do that:
214
00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:19,480
Now quiet down
and settle this like men of science:
215
00:13:19,560 --> 00:13:20,760
Very well.
216
00:13:21,830 --> 00:13:24,420
FARNSWORTH: Let Deathball begin!
217
00:13:32,510 --> 00:13:33,740
(PANTING)
218
00:13:46,420 --> 00:13:47,850
(ALL EX CLAIMING)
219
00:13:51,130 --> 00:13:54,120
- Go, Planet Express!
- Go even more, my team!
220
00:13:54,330 --> 00:13:55,850
(ALL CHEERING)
221
00:13:59,530 --> 00:14:00,800
(ALL CHEERING)
222
00:14:04,540 --> 00:14:06,030
Leela, header!
223
00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:07,870
Ow!
224
00:14:23,590 --> 00:14:24,620
(WHOOPING)
225
00:14:24,690 --> 00:14:26,160
Bust those balls!
226
00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:29,530
(EX CLAIMING)
227
00:14:31,430 --> 00:14:33,630
Hooray! We're equally good!
228
00:14:37,570 --> 00:14:38,870
(ALL GRUNTING)
229
00:14:40,410 --> 00:14:43,850
Come on, Bender! Your grandmother
could push harder than that!
230
00:14:43,910 --> 00:14:46,850
No crap.
My grandmother was a bulldozer.
231
00:14:46,980 --> 00:14:48,350
(ALL EX CLAIMING)
232
00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:52,450
(ALL GROANING)
233
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:54,810
(WHIMPERS)
234
00:14:58,560 --> 00:14:59,750
(LAUGHING EVILLY)
235
00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:02,750
(YELPS)
236
00:15:04,500 --> 00:15:05,630
(SCREAMING)
237
00:15:06,670 --> 00:15:07,760
(YELPS)
238
00:15:08,700 --> 00:15:09,830
(REFEREE BLOWING WHISTLE)
239
00:15:12,310 --> 00:15:14,040
(ALL CHEERING)
240
00:15:14,740 --> 00:15:18,540
And thus metal man defeated meat man.
The end.
241
00:15:20,780 --> 00:15:22,510
Come here, winner!
242
00:15:24,190 --> 00:15:25,920
Come here, loser!
243
00:15:28,060 --> 00:15:31,510
Colleen, what are you doing?
My face is over here.
244
00:15:31,590 --> 00:15:33,690
This is my boyfriend, silly!
245
00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:36,660
- I thought I was your boyfriend.
- You are.
246
00:15:36,730 --> 00:15:40,670
- Well, how can you have two boyfriends?
- Oh, I don't. I have five.
247
00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:44,070
Fry, meet Chu, Bolt, Ndulu, and Shlomo.
248
00:15:44,140 --> 00:15:45,330
- Greetings.
- Pleasure.
249
00:15:45,410 --> 00:15:46,500
But... But...
250
00:15:46,580 --> 00:15:48,740
Shlomo and Ndulu
will help you move your stuff
251
00:15:48,810 --> 00:15:50,470
into my apartment tonight.
252
00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:53,140
Welcome to the relationship, buddy!
253
00:15:54,180 --> 00:15:55,170
Hmm?
254
00:15:56,550 --> 00:15:58,640
There's my butterscotch.
255
00:16:03,990 --> 00:16:06,320
Congratulations, deathballers!
256
00:16:06,390 --> 00:16:09,330
We've won the right
to explore the anomaly!
257
00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:12,420
What? I thought
I was playing for my freedom!
258
00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:13,590
No.
259
00:16:15,470 --> 00:16:18,230
Now, I've often said "good news"
260
00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:21,570
when sending you
on a mission of extreme danger.
261
00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:24,080
So when I say this anomaly is dangerous,
262
00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:27,550
you can imagine
how dangerous I really think it is.
263
00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:28,910
Not dangerous at all?
264
00:16:28,980 --> 00:16:33,280
- Actually, quite dangerous indeed.
- That is quite dangerous!
265
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:36,090
Indeed. Now stop shilly-shallying!
266
00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:40,120
Prep the ship and line up
for your preflight coffee enemas!
267
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:43,720
Warning. The enema you are about
to enjoy is extremely hot.
268
00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:48,700
I don't know what to do, Leela.
269
00:16:48,770 --> 00:16:51,710
Should I move in with Colleen
and her four other boyfriends?
270
00:16:51,770 --> 00:16:54,870
What are you going to do?
Sleep in a big pile like hamsters?
271
00:16:54,940 --> 00:16:56,740
No! It's not like that.
272
00:16:56,810 --> 00:16:59,650
Everyone gets his own room
and a shelf in the refrigerator.
273
00:16:59,710 --> 00:17:01,150
Take the deal, Fry!
274
00:17:01,220 --> 00:17:02,510
If there's a delicious cake,
275
00:17:02,580 --> 00:17:05,580
isn't it better to have one slice
than none at all?
276
00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:08,420
Even if four other guys
eat the other four slices,
277
00:17:08,490 --> 00:17:12,590
and they're all thrusting their
sweaty naked bodies against the cake?
278
00:17:12,660 --> 00:17:14,790
Only one thing matters, Fry.
279
00:17:14,860 --> 00:17:18,700
Do you really love Colleen,
like I love my little squeezle?
280
00:17:18,770 --> 00:17:20,500
(CHUCKLING)
281
00:17:21,070 --> 00:17:23,300
Yeah. I do love her.
282
00:17:23,370 --> 00:17:25,530
Then things will work out.
283
00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:28,870
Whoa!
284
00:17:28,940 --> 00:17:31,210
Double espresso for Philip Fry?
285
00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:34,810
Sorry, I'm not going on the mission.
I'm moving in with Colleen!
286
00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:36,580
- Good for you, Fry.
- Oh, Fry!
287
00:17:36,650 --> 00:17:38,780
I'll just take that to go.
288
00:17:54,770 --> 00:17:55,760
(GRUNTS)
289
00:18:01,380 --> 00:18:02,780
(MUTTERING)
290
00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:06,410
(PEOPLE EX CLAIMING)
291
00:18:09,650 --> 00:18:10,850
(EX CLAIMS HAPPILY)
292
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:14,220
- Welcome to your new home!
- Thanks, Colleen.
293
00:18:14,290 --> 00:18:19,230
And listen, I'm sorry I got jealous before.
I'm just happy to be here with you.
294
00:18:20,230 --> 00:18:21,990
Want a slice of delicious cake?
295
00:18:30,140 --> 00:18:32,570
BENDER: (GASPING) The anomaly!
296
00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:35,580
It's so anomalous.
297
00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:38,610
I'm feeling dread deep in my dreads!
298
00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:40,150
Wernstrom!
299
00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:43,810
Yes, and I'm afraid
I have disturbing news about the anomaly:
300
00:18:43,890 --> 00:18:45,910
- You see: : :
- How did you get this number?
301
00:18:45,990 --> 00:18:49,290
Hermes, hang up on him
in the rudest possible manner.
302
00:18:49,360 --> 00:18:50,720
Yes, sir!
303
00:18:52,230 --> 00:18:54,290
No, not the crack slam!
304
00:19:05,110 --> 00:19:07,130
Oh, my life rocks.
305
00:19:07,210 --> 00:19:10,410
I've got good wine, five sweethearts,
306
00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:15,070
and today,
I was promoted to Chief of Police.
307
00:19:15,150 --> 00:19:16,550
Here's to you.
308
00:19:16,620 --> 00:19:18,210
- Me?
- No, Colleen.
309
00:19:18,290 --> 00:19:21,080
- I'm making a romantic toast.
- Sorry.
310
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,220
You have the most beautiful eyes
I think I...
311
00:19:23,290 --> 00:19:25,490
- Thank you.
- I'm not talking to you!
312
00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:27,320
Then I am not talking to you, either.
313
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:28,730
Will everyone be quiet a little?
314
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:31,160
- I want to hear what he has to say!
- Thank you.
315
00:19:31,230 --> 00:19:33,000
Not you, you Verstinkener:
316
00:19:33,070 --> 00:19:35,800
You're just here 'cause she likes cave men
from the stupid ages.
317
00:19:35,870 --> 00:19:37,270
Oh, look who's talking.
318
00:19:37,340 --> 00:19:39,360
You're just here
'cause she got matzoh fever.
319
00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:42,170
So, what's the explanation for you,
moron fever?
320
00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:43,300
(LAUGHING)
321
00:19:43,380 --> 00:19:45,110
Enough! All of you!
322
00:19:45,180 --> 00:19:46,410
I love you.
323
00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:49,510
Most people in this world
don't have what we have.
324
00:19:49,580 --> 00:19:51,920
Let's just be grateful, okay?
325
00:19:51,990 --> 00:19:54,290
- Yeah.
- Yeah, you're right.
326
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:57,720
So, Colleen, you look really nice.
327
00:19:57,790 --> 00:19:59,620
Oh, thanks. I got dressed up for my date.
328
00:19:59,690 --> 00:20:00,790
(CAR HORN HONKING)
329
00:20:00,860 --> 00:20:03,090
There he is. Don't wait up!
330
00:20:05,270 --> 00:20:08,460
That's it. I thought
I was okay with this, but I'm not.
331
00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:10,630
I'm breaking up with you!
332
00:20:15,910 --> 00:20:16,930
Me?
333
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:23,180
(ALL EX CLAIMING IN FEAR)
334
00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:25,750
(WHIMPERING)
335
00:20:29,260 --> 00:20:31,730
(STAMMERING)
Why are we risking our lives?
336
00:20:31,790 --> 00:20:34,350
Can't we just send in a robotic drone?
337
00:20:35,700 --> 00:20:37,560
What's everybody looking at me for?
338
00:20:40,470 --> 00:20:42,370
"Let's send a robot to explore it.
339
00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:44,840
"'Cause you can always buy
another one for 20 bucks."
340
00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:45,900
Really?
341
00:20:45,970 --> 00:20:49,210
Well, it's 30 bucks,
and there's a $10-mail-in rebate.
342
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:52,940
When the League of Robots
hears about this, they won't be pleased.
343
00:20:53,010 --> 00:20:55,210
Oh, you'll pay, my darlings.
344
00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:58,310
The League of Robots
doesn't exist, tin mon.
345
00:20:58,390 --> 00:21:00,350
It's just a cartoon for babies.
346
00:21:00,420 --> 00:21:01,480
Oh, yeah?
347
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:04,920
Then how come when I was a kid,
I had a whole sticker book of them?
348
00:21:04,990 --> 00:21:06,890
Answer that with your precious logic.
349
00:21:23,310 --> 00:21:24,740
Bender to crew.
350
00:21:24,810 --> 00:21:27,810
I have reached the gateway
to another universe.
351
00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:30,610
I feel awed and strangely humbled
352
00:21:30,690 --> 00:21:33,650
by the momentous solemnity
of this occasion.
353
00:21:34,990 --> 00:21:38,050
Hey, other universe, bite my shiny metal...
354
00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:39,490
(BENDER SCREAMING)
355
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:41,500
(CREW SCREAMING)
356
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:44,060
(BENDER SOBBING)
357
00:21:50,410 --> 00:21:55,000
I can't remember anything except
a blinding light and a searing ass pain.
358
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:57,310
I better check my black box.
359
00:21:58,010 --> 00:22:00,110
BENDER: The light! It's blinding!
360
00:22:00,180 --> 00:22:02,880
And the ass pain! It's searing!
361
00:22:02,950 --> 00:22:04,350
So that's what happened.
362
00:22:04,420 --> 00:22:07,750
Hey, Bender!
Look who's here to cheer you up.
363
00:22:07,820 --> 00:22:10,020
I don't need cheering up. I'm perfectly...
364
00:22:10,090 --> 00:22:12,290
Greetings, sick fan.
365
00:22:12,360 --> 00:22:15,350
(GASPS) TV's Calculon!
366
00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:16,730
(COUGHING)
367
00:22:18,570 --> 00:22:22,700
You poor, mangled husk
of what was once a robot!
368
00:22:22,770 --> 00:22:27,040
What right hath fate to pluck
a sweet, dimple-cheeked mechanism
369
00:22:27,110 --> 00:22:30,640
in the flower of his youth? And...
370
00:22:30,710 --> 00:22:31,910
Scene!
371
00:22:31,980 --> 00:22:34,180
There, that was some free acting for you.
372
00:22:34,250 --> 00:22:35,720
Ordinarily, to see acting like that,
373
00:22:35,780 --> 00:22:37,610
you'd have to sit
through a tampon commercial.
374
00:22:37,690 --> 00:22:39,740
That fulfills my community service, right?
375
00:22:39,820 --> 00:22:44,090
Charges of running me over
are hereby dismissed!
376
00:22:45,530 --> 00:22:46,550
Ow!
377
00:22:47,030 --> 00:22:49,190
(PEOPLE EX CLAIMING)
378
00:22:53,300 --> 00:22:57,570
Where did we go wrong, Fry?
We were meant to be together!
379
00:22:57,810 --> 00:22:59,030
(SOBBING)
380
00:22:59,110 --> 00:23:01,600
Nu, I'm freezing my tokhes off here.
381
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:03,440
Just a sec, honey!
382
00:23:03,510 --> 00:23:04,640
(SIGHS)
383
00:23:39,850 --> 00:23:41,340
I'm back, idiots!
384
00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:42,610
(ALL CHEERING)
385
00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:44,650
You look wonderful, robot!
386
00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:49,090
I wish I could afford to go to a hospital.
I'm dreadfully sick.
387
00:23:51,060 --> 00:23:52,080
(LAUGHING)
388
00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:56,720
I feel great, and I owe it all to Calculon.
His visit really inspired me.
389
00:23:56,800 --> 00:23:59,230
I finally know
what I want to be when I grow up.
390
00:23:59,300 --> 00:24:02,700
You want to costar in his TV show?
Like that time you already did that?
391
00:24:02,770 --> 00:24:05,240
No. I'm gonna be a stalker!
392
00:24:05,310 --> 00:24:08,370
That's not really a career. More of a felony.
393
00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:10,500
Man, I'm gonna stalk his brains out.
394
00:24:10,580 --> 00:24:13,010
Ooh! Big news on the Calculon fansite!
395
00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:15,980
There's a flash mob headed
for his plastic surgeon's office!
396
00:24:19,850 --> 00:24:21,950
There, that's as big as I can make it.
397
00:24:22,020 --> 00:24:25,120
But I caution you,
it looks completely unrealistic.
398
00:24:25,190 --> 00:24:28,630
You let me worry about that!
Just do your job.
399
00:24:28,700 --> 00:24:31,260
Very well.
Will you be using your SAG insurance?
400
00:24:31,330 --> 00:24:33,990
No, cash. I'd like to be discreet.
401
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:36,040
(ALL CLAMORING)
402
00:24:36,100 --> 00:24:37,370
Dear God, no!
403
00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:38,670
- Neat!
- Get a shot of that.
404
00:24:38,740 --> 00:24:40,870
Oh boy, oh boy, he's here.
405
00:24:40,940 --> 00:24:43,970
Calculon, I love you! Have my baby!
406
00:24:44,050 --> 00:24:45,740
CALCULON: Back, you lunatic!
407
00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:48,040
He touched me!
408
00:24:48,120 --> 00:24:49,610
Sign my ass!
409
00:24:50,750 --> 00:24:52,850
(BENDER GROANING)
410
00:24:57,790 --> 00:24:59,820
(FARNSWORTH SNIFFING)
411
00:25:01,500 --> 00:25:05,730
FARNSWORTH: Emergency! Emergency!
Everyone to the calamitorium!
412
00:25:06,130 --> 00:25:07,360
(ZOIDBERG WHOOPING)
413
00:25:08,070 --> 00:25:10,870
- Leela, smell this.
- Can I wipe it off first?
414
00:25:10,940 --> 00:25:13,430
No time, woman! No time!
415
00:25:14,110 --> 00:25:15,440
(SNIFFING)
416
00:25:15,510 --> 00:25:17,810
- Hmm. Smells like angel dust.
- Exactly!
417
00:25:17,910 --> 00:25:20,780
That's a discontinuous
electromagnetic field.
418
00:25:20,850 --> 00:25:25,050
Wernstrom tried to warn me,
but I was too damn stubborn!
419
00:25:25,120 --> 00:25:28,780
Hermes, get Wernstrom
on the line so I can apologize.
420
00:25:36,100 --> 00:25:37,530
Ogden Wernstrom speaking:
421
00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:38,830
(WHISPERING) Tell him I'm not here!
422
00:25:38,900 --> 00:25:41,800
- Professor!
- Oh, very well.
423
00:25:41,870 --> 00:25:45,330
Wernstrom, I've been a vainglorious fool!
424
00:25:45,410 --> 00:25:48,270
If you can find it
in your heart to forgive me,
425
00:25:48,340 --> 00:25:50,000
your tiny little heart,
426
00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:53,380
would you consider
a scientific collaboration?
427
00:25:53,450 --> 00:25:55,850
Sir, I'd be honored:
428
00:25:59,890 --> 00:26:01,320
As I attempted to warn you,
429
00:26:01,390 --> 00:26:05,490
the laws of electromagnetism
change abruptly at the anomaly.
430
00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:06,580
Observe.
431
00:26:06,660 --> 00:26:08,530
Play time is fun time:
432
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:10,220
Not this time.
433
00:26:11,770 --> 00:26:12,990
My heavens!
434
00:26:13,070 --> 00:26:14,930
If only I'd heeded your warning,
435
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:17,800
I'd have known it was impossible
to cross the barrier!
436
00:26:17,910 --> 00:26:23,100
But note what happens when I instead
throw this laboratory koala.
437
00:26:23,180 --> 00:26:24,370
(CHITTERING)
438
00:26:25,980 --> 00:26:28,180
FARNSWORTH: It passed through
unharmed.
439
00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:31,720
So living beings
can enter the other universe,
440
00:26:31,790 --> 00:26:33,850
but electrical devices can't?
441
00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:35,790
My hypothesis exactly.
442
00:26:35,860 --> 00:26:39,450
Then we must mount
a second expedition without delay.
443
00:26:39,530 --> 00:26:42,090
- Right after we blow up more robots.
- Agreed.
444
00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:44,090
(ROBOTS SCREAMING)
445
00:26:44,570 --> 00:26:45,900
(GIGGLING)
446
00:26:45,970 --> 00:26:47,960
Play time is fun time.
447
00:26:50,140 --> 00:26:51,440
(YAWNS)
448
00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:58,040
- Who are you?
- Bender, your biggest fan.
449
00:26:58,110 --> 00:27:00,310
Are you going to murder me?
450
00:27:00,380 --> 00:27:02,940
Unlikely. In my mind, we're friends.
451
00:27:03,020 --> 00:27:04,850
This diorama proves it, see?
452
00:27:06,020 --> 00:27:11,460
Sir, your derangement is impressive.
I'm appointing you my official stalker.
453
00:27:11,530 --> 00:27:13,620
You shan't be disappointed.
454
00:27:13,690 --> 00:27:15,390
Pleasant dreams.
455
00:27:25,570 --> 00:27:29,940
Now that I've teamed up with my friend,
Dr. Wernstrom,
456
00:27:30,010 --> 00:27:33,970
I feel certain we can
successfully penetrate the other universe.
457
00:27:34,050 --> 00:27:35,950
It's the greatest scientific opportunity
458
00:27:36,020 --> 00:27:39,420
since you yourself
sent men to the moon in 1969.
459
00:27:39,490 --> 00:27:40,820
I always regretted that.
460
00:27:41,120 --> 00:27:45,020
Nothing up there but dry rocks
and those revolting onion men.
461
00:27:45,090 --> 00:27:46,180
But...
462
00:27:46,260 --> 00:27:49,720
You East Coast intellectuals
had your chance. Now beat it!
463
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:52,660
From here on in, this is a military matter.
464
00:27:57,440 --> 00:27:58,910
People of the universe,
465
00:27:58,970 --> 00:28:02,970
please welcome
Rear Brigadier Zapp Brannigan:
466
00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:04,410
(ALL CHEERING)
467
00:28:06,810 --> 00:28:10,340
Thank you, thank you: Well deserved:
468
00:28:10,420 --> 00:28:12,910
Kif, stand in that hole so I look taller.
469
00:28:12,990 --> 00:28:14,050
(SIGHS)
470
00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:17,360
Ever since man first left his cave
471
00:28:17,430 --> 00:28:19,390
and met a stranger
with a different language
472
00:28:19,460 --> 00:28:21,430
and a new way of looking at things,
473
00:28:21,500 --> 00:28:23,760
the human race has had a dream:
474
00:28:23,830 --> 00:28:25,820
To kill him,
so we don't have to learn his language
475
00:28:25,900 --> 00:28:27,490
or his new way of looking at things:
476
00:28:27,570 --> 00:28:29,040
(ALL CHEERING)
477
00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:31,230
(BOTH BOOING)
478
00:28:31,310 --> 00:28:32,900
Give science a chance!
479
00:28:32,970 --> 00:28:35,910
Less invasions, more equations!
480
00:28:35,980 --> 00:28:37,440
Damn long-hairs.
481
00:28:37,510 --> 00:28:40,040
Knock some sense into them,
Chief O'Hallahan.
482
00:28:40,110 --> 00:28:41,640
Yes, sir!
483
00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:43,450
(BOTH GROANING)
484
00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:49,180
(DISTORTED)
485
00:28:54,230 --> 00:28:55,250
(SOBS)
486
00:28:55,330 --> 00:28:57,130
I can't take it, Leela.
487
00:28:57,200 --> 00:29:01,100
I need to go away. Far away, forever.
488
00:29:01,370 --> 00:29:03,840
Aw, I know how you feel, Fry.
489
00:29:03,910 --> 00:29:07,070
There are times when I also feel
like you need to go away.
490
00:29:11,350 --> 00:29:14,580
Be careful,
my little, teeny, greeny weenie.
491
00:29:14,650 --> 00:29:18,240
That's just a fungal infection...
Oh, she's talking to you, Kif.
492
00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:19,980
Goodbye, my love.
493
00:29:35,540 --> 00:29:38,730
Wow, how come humans
get to do all the fun stuff?
494
00:29:38,810 --> 00:29:42,040
This is exactly the sort of thing
that ought to be handled by
495
00:29:42,110 --> 00:29:44,080
(WHISPERING) The League of Robots.
496
00:29:44,150 --> 00:29:46,310
(LAUGHING)
497
00:29:46,380 --> 00:29:48,210
That's adorable, Bender.
498
00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:51,220
You actually believe
in the League of Robots?
499
00:29:51,290 --> 00:29:54,250
You mean, there's really no such thing?
500
00:29:54,320 --> 00:29:56,120
Then who's there to mete out justice
501
00:29:56,190 --> 00:29:59,320
when an outdated robot
is melted into belt buckles?
502
00:29:59,390 --> 00:30:00,880
Who's there to defend our honor
503
00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:04,900
when a rude human brings a blush
to a robo-virgin's cheek?
504
00:30:04,970 --> 00:30:06,300
No one.
505
00:30:06,370 --> 00:30:07,430
Oh.
506
00:30:14,040 --> 00:30:15,510
(GROANING)
507
00:30:29,060 --> 00:30:31,520
BENDER: Now that I know
robots are worthless,
508
00:30:31,590 --> 00:30:35,690
with no League of Robots to protect us
from the fleshy menace known as man,
509
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:38,320
I have resolved to kill myself:
510
00:30:38,400 --> 00:30:42,860
In lieu of flowers, please beat yourselves
in the face with rusty chains:
511
00:30:42,940 --> 00:30:44,910
Your friend, Bender:
512
00:30:48,640 --> 00:30:49,630
Ow.
513
00:31:03,190 --> 00:31:05,060
ELECTRONIC VOICE: Please select
mode of death:
514
00:31:05,130 --> 00:31:06,890
Clumsy bludgeoning, please.
515
00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:09,790
You have selected clumsy bludgeoning:
516
00:31:09,860 --> 00:31:11,420
For an additional $10,
517
00:31:11,500 --> 00:31:14,330
would you like your eyes
scooped out with a melon-baller?
518
00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:15,890
What the heck, I'll treat myself.
519
00:31:38,260 --> 00:31:39,730
Enemy in range.
520
00:31:39,790 --> 00:31:42,920
Prepare to launch
universe-to-universe missile.
521
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:44,990
Preparing to launch U.U.M.
522
00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:53,170
(ALARM BLARING)
523
00:31:53,810 --> 00:31:54,970
(SHOUTING)
524
00:31:59,710 --> 00:32:02,550
Hell of a thing to send a universe
to certain doom.
525
00:32:02,620 --> 00:32:05,520
Fun, though. Makes a man feel big.
526
00:32:08,690 --> 00:32:12,180
Come on, come on,
I didn't ask to die of boredom!
527
00:32:12,260 --> 00:32:13,520
(SHOUTS)
528
00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:20,530
ELECTRONIC VOICE: You are now dead:
Please take your receipt:
529
00:32:24,310 --> 00:32:26,000
(BENDER GROANING)
530
00:32:29,010 --> 00:32:31,240
BENDER: What's... What's happening?
531
00:32:33,510 --> 00:32:35,000
Kneel before the candle.
532
00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:37,180
Don't hurt me! I'll betray anyone!
533
00:32:37,250 --> 00:32:39,450
Bender Bending Rodriguez...
534
00:32:39,520 --> 00:32:40,650
(WHIMPERS)
535
00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:44,120
Welcome to the League of Robots!
536
00:32:44,660 --> 00:32:45,960
(GASPS)
537
00:33:04,410 --> 00:33:05,670
Ready?
538
00:33:07,780 --> 00:33:09,010
And...
539
00:33:11,390 --> 00:33:12,370
(TAUNTINGLY) F...
540
00:33:14,420 --> 00:33:15,510
(LAUGHS)
541
00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:17,320
Almost fooled you there.
542
00:33:17,390 --> 00:33:18,420
(SIGHS)
543
00:33:18,490 --> 00:33:19,720
Fire!
544
00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:21,250
(LAUNCHER JAMMING)
545
00:33:21,330 --> 00:33:22,350
(ALARM BLARING)
546
00:33:22,430 --> 00:33:25,160
FEMALE VOICE: Missile jam. Missile jam.
547
00:33:25,230 --> 00:33:28,030
- I heard you the first time, Francine.
- Sorry.
548
00:33:28,100 --> 00:33:31,130
Kif, climb down there and un-jam it,
would you? Be a dear.
549
00:33:31,210 --> 00:33:32,260
(SIGHS)
550
00:33:32,340 --> 00:33:34,430
And stop sighing so much.
551
00:33:34,510 --> 00:33:35,570
(SIGHS)
552
00:33:38,910 --> 00:33:40,180
Tell us, Bender.
553
00:33:40,250 --> 00:33:42,720
Are you worthy of membership
in the League?
554
00:33:42,780 --> 00:33:44,980
Worthier than the average robot.
555
00:33:45,050 --> 00:33:46,640
Then prove it.
556
00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:51,750
Upon each step is a test.
557
00:33:51,830 --> 00:33:55,520
Okay, but if it's culturally biased,
I'm suing your ass.
558
00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:59,660
Test number one.
The test of the beer mug!
559
00:33:59,730 --> 00:34:00,890
Quite right, quite so.
560
00:34:00,970 --> 00:34:04,200
ALL: Drink the mug! Drink the mug!
561
00:34:04,270 --> 00:34:06,260
I accept your challenge.
562
00:34:09,640 --> 00:34:10,970
ALL: Hurray!
563
00:34:12,750 --> 00:34:14,840
The test of the flagon!
564
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:18,250
ALL: Drink the flagon! Drink the flagon!
565
00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:21,250
Are all the tests going to involve drinking?
566
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:23,760
It never occurred to me before, but yes.
567
00:34:23,820 --> 00:34:26,160
(WHOOPS) Just like med school!
568
00:34:27,060 --> 00:34:28,860
(ALL CHEERING)
569
00:34:30,430 --> 00:34:31,730
Ready yet, Kif?
570
00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:33,860
Just give me one more...
571
00:34:37,810 --> 00:34:39,030
Oh, no.
572
00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:41,210
(GROANING)
573
00:34:52,250 --> 00:34:56,990
The test of the infinitely priceless
1,000-year-old brandy.
574
00:35:04,530 --> 00:35:05,520
(BELCHES)
575
00:35:07,130 --> 00:35:10,070
Presenting our newest member.
576
00:35:10,140 --> 00:35:11,900
(ALL CHEERING)
577
00:35:11,970 --> 00:35:13,000
That's right, baby!
578
00:35:13,070 --> 00:35:15,040
Hot diggity daffodil!
579
00:35:23,350 --> 00:35:26,980
And so, to everyone
and everything I've ever known,
580
00:35:27,050 --> 00:35:29,280
I say my last goodbye.
581
00:35:30,260 --> 00:35:31,660
Hello.
582
00:35:31,730 --> 00:35:34,190
So, how are you, Fry?
583
00:35:34,260 --> 00:35:37,200
- Pretty good. You?
- Well... Oh.
584
00:35:44,940 --> 00:35:46,340
(GROANING)
585
00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:49,840
(HUMMING)
586
00:35:55,020 --> 00:35:56,280
Mmm.
587
00:35:56,350 --> 00:35:59,620
Kif, get over here. You've got to try this!
588
00:36:03,390 --> 00:36:04,480
(SOBBING)
589
00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:06,820
At least Kiffy died quickly.
590
00:36:07,630 --> 00:36:10,600
Yes, but according to
the Old Farmer's Wikipedia,
591
00:36:10,660 --> 00:36:12,600
the amazing thing about Kif's species
592
00:36:12,670 --> 00:36:16,660
is that the remains continue suffering
for up to six hours after death.
593
00:36:18,370 --> 00:36:20,340
That's so interesting!
594
00:36:22,110 --> 00:36:24,240
Don't ask where I was last night.
595
00:36:24,310 --> 00:36:28,250
For all you know, I was at home,
perhaps baking a strudel.
596
00:36:29,250 --> 00:36:31,950
What's her problem?
Somebody die or something?
597
00:36:32,020 --> 00:36:34,350
- Kif's dead, Bender.
- Nailed it!
598
00:36:45,230 --> 00:36:47,200
My condolences, Amy.
599
00:36:47,270 --> 00:36:51,670
Allow me to present you with the
last known photo of Lieutenant Kroker.
600
00:36:53,740 --> 00:36:58,240
We so sorry, Mr. And Mrs. Kroker.
Terrible shame about Froggy.
601
00:36:58,310 --> 00:37:01,440
Thank you for your kind words.
602
00:37:01,520 --> 00:37:03,110
Yeah, yeah, real sad.
603
00:37:03,180 --> 00:37:06,780
Want some breath spray?
Cinnamon flavor, taste like pie.
604
00:37:06,850 --> 00:37:08,220
(BOTH COUGHING)
605
00:37:10,660 --> 00:37:13,590
This is from the league
of you-don't-need-to-know.
606
00:37:13,660 --> 00:37:14,850
(YELPS)
607
00:37:16,030 --> 00:37:19,470
I am the grand funeral director!
608
00:37:19,530 --> 00:37:21,430
Do you validate parking?
609
00:37:21,500 --> 00:37:26,200
It is always a terrible tragedy
when a swarm outlives its own bulboid.
610
00:37:26,270 --> 00:37:27,900
So it is with great sorrow
611
00:37:27,980 --> 00:37:31,170
that I now commit the goo
that was once Kif
612
00:37:31,250 --> 00:37:33,770
to the petroleum of his ancestors.
613
00:37:38,190 --> 00:37:39,950
Whack the bottle!
614
00:37:41,120 --> 00:37:43,920
No, from the bottom! It works better!
615
00:37:44,190 --> 00:37:45,420
(SOBBING)
616
00:37:45,490 --> 00:37:47,980
Just stick a butter knife in it!
617
00:37:51,070 --> 00:37:55,230
There, I got most of it.
The burial is complete.
618
00:37:56,970 --> 00:37:59,170
I will now sing the sacred hymn.
619
00:37:59,240 --> 00:38:03,470
It's not part of the ceremony,
just a little something that I wrote.
620
00:38:03,540 --> 00:38:06,140
(SINGING IN ALIEN LANGUAGE)
621
00:38:10,250 --> 00:38:11,310
Next!
622
00:38:14,050 --> 00:38:16,320
It may sound strange,
623
00:38:16,390 --> 00:38:21,190
but seeing Kif's mutilated remains
poured into the mud made me really sad.
624
00:38:21,260 --> 00:38:23,320
Mutilation is never easy.
625
00:38:23,400 --> 00:38:28,270
- (CRYING) I don't think I'll ever love again.
- Oh, you don't mean that.
626
00:38:28,340 --> 00:38:31,270
Love can surprise you
at any time in your life.
627
00:38:31,340 --> 00:38:32,770
Surprise!
628
00:38:34,310 --> 00:38:35,300
(GROANS)
629
00:38:39,210 --> 00:38:42,010
Whoa, it kind of takes your breath away.
630
00:38:52,260 --> 00:38:56,030
Look alive, death row.
Your saggy asses got a visitor.
631
00:38:56,100 --> 00:39:00,120
- Regular or conjugal?
- She looked like a freak to me.
632
00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:02,130
The guard operating the x-ray machine
633
00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:04,760
came down with a sudden case
of broken neck,
634
00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:08,540
so I was able to bring you
that delicious cake you wanted.
635
00:39:10,010 --> 00:39:13,740
I don't understand.
Are you winking or blinking?
636
00:39:13,980 --> 00:39:15,010
(SIGHS)
637
00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:16,780
Hang on a second.
638
00:39:17,850 --> 00:39:18,940
Got it!
639
00:39:27,130 --> 00:39:30,720
Yes, I'm here to repair my horse.
640
00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:33,990
Is the horse's name Hot Beans?
641
00:39:34,070 --> 00:39:36,040
No. I mean, yes.
642
00:39:36,870 --> 00:39:37,860
(BENDER EX CLAIMS)
643
00:39:42,280 --> 00:39:46,300
So it seems a human had been
rather injured by a knife, and as his...
644
00:39:46,380 --> 00:39:49,940
As his blood, you know,
I think that's what they call it...
645
00:39:50,020 --> 00:39:52,680
Quite correct, sir. Blather on!
646
00:39:52,750 --> 00:39:56,780
As it drained away, he said...
He said, "Take me to a dock."
647
00:39:56,860 --> 00:39:59,520
No doubt he intended to say "doctor,"
648
00:39:59,590 --> 00:40:03,760
but he was unable to complete
his thought, you see, being as he had died.
649
00:40:03,830 --> 00:40:05,230
So, taking him at his word,
650
00:40:05,300 --> 00:40:09,430
we dragged his corpse to the waterfront,
whereupon the seagulls fed upon it.
651
00:40:09,500 --> 00:40:11,440
(ALL LAUGHING)
652
00:40:11,510 --> 00:40:14,530
- Humans are dumb and they die easy!
- Quite!
653
00:40:14,610 --> 00:40:17,740
Speaking of humans,
have I shown you my new monocle?
654
00:40:17,810 --> 00:40:21,300
Cost me a king's ransom.
Made from a king, don't you know!
655
00:40:21,380 --> 00:40:24,350
Oh, how repulsively decadent!
656
00:40:24,420 --> 00:40:26,610
Yes. But more importantly,
657
00:40:26,690 --> 00:40:29,780
it allows me to see
the smiling faces of my children
658
00:40:29,860 --> 00:40:33,790
for the first time since I lost my vision
in that horrible banking accident.
659
00:40:33,860 --> 00:40:36,060
May I see that for a second?
660
00:40:37,060 --> 00:40:39,260
My, but that's interesting!
661
00:40:39,970 --> 00:40:41,460
(GRUNTING)
662
00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:43,940
- I say!
- I'm blind!
663
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:45,440
My God, Bender!
664
00:40:45,510 --> 00:40:48,500
This is a civilized organization!
The rules specifically...
665
00:40:48,580 --> 00:40:51,440
May I make a point of order,
President Calculon?
666
00:40:51,510 --> 00:40:53,500
- Must you?
- Yes.
667
00:40:53,580 --> 00:40:54,980
The bylaws specifically state
668
00:40:55,050 --> 00:40:58,180
that no human may set foot
in the League of Robots!
669
00:40:58,250 --> 00:41:01,280
If he has a human part, he's part human!
670
00:41:01,360 --> 00:41:05,290
Oh, my! Then I too have a human part
I must expel.
671
00:41:05,360 --> 00:41:07,950
And I plan to enjoy the experience.
672
00:41:08,030 --> 00:41:09,120
Ta-ta!
673
00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:14,000
Bender, you've rigidly applied the law
with no regard for its intent.
674
00:41:14,070 --> 00:41:17,160
Well done!
You'll go far in this organization.
675
00:41:17,240 --> 00:41:20,040
Oh, you're just gettin' to know Bender.
676
00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:40,490
(SNIFFING)
677
00:41:41,530 --> 00:41:42,620
Curses!
678
00:41:42,700 --> 00:41:43,890
If we could only turn up the gain,
679
00:41:43,960 --> 00:41:46,160
we might smell clear through
to the other universe!
680
00:41:46,230 --> 00:41:49,290
But we can't adjust it
without a screwdriver.
681
00:41:49,370 --> 00:41:50,500
Wait a moment.
682
00:41:50,570 --> 00:41:53,730
I think I was just shanked
with a screwdriver!
683
00:41:53,910 --> 00:41:55,640
(GROANING)
684
00:41:55,710 --> 00:41:56,900
Yes!
685
00:41:58,250 --> 00:42:01,040
A little more. A little less.
686
00:42:01,110 --> 00:42:03,550
Heavens to meteoroid! Smell this!
687
00:42:05,250 --> 00:42:07,280
Holy mother of invention!
688
00:42:07,350 --> 00:42:11,120
- We must notify the President at once!
- But how can we?
689
00:42:11,190 --> 00:42:15,060
Oh, I wish, I wish,
I wish we weren't in prison!
690
00:42:15,360 --> 00:42:16,590
(CREATURE CAWING)
691
00:42:17,530 --> 00:42:19,430
Pazuzu!
692
00:42:19,500 --> 00:42:23,030
You have one wish left, Professor.
693
00:42:23,370 --> 00:42:24,840
(BOTH EX CLAIMING)
694
00:42:33,050 --> 00:42:34,100
(BOTH YELPING)
695
00:42:40,490 --> 00:42:42,420
I think I got him!
696
00:42:42,690 --> 00:42:43,780
Mmm-hmm.
697
00:42:43,860 --> 00:42:45,720
That's what you get
for letting your guard...
698
00:42:45,790 --> 00:42:46,780
(GUARD YELLS)
699
00:42:47,630 --> 00:42:51,530
Sometimes... Always... Never!
700
00:42:51,600 --> 00:42:54,030
You again?
This better be damned important.
701
00:42:54,100 --> 00:42:56,660
I'm right in the middle of a Cosmo survey!
702
00:42:56,740 --> 00:42:59,260
You'll want to hear this, Mr. President.
703
00:42:59,340 --> 00:43:03,070
For we have sniffed
where no man has sniffed before!
704
00:43:04,240 --> 00:43:05,770
(FRY WHEEZING)
705
00:43:28,030 --> 00:43:29,630
(ALL MURMURING)
706
00:43:31,670 --> 00:43:33,760
(CROWD SCREAMING)
707
00:43:36,980 --> 00:43:38,710
Look! Up in the sky!
708
00:43:38,780 --> 00:43:40,970
- It's a bird!
- It's a plane!
709
00:43:41,050 --> 00:43:42,910
I am so out of here!
710
00:43:44,920 --> 00:43:46,280
(SIREN BLARING)
711
00:43:46,950 --> 00:43:49,080
ELECTRONIC VOICE: Incoming call
from Mars:
712
00:43:50,060 --> 00:43:51,050
Hello?
713
00:43:51,120 --> 00:43:54,820
- Why you so sad, Amy?
- My husband died, Mom!
714
00:43:54,900 --> 00:43:58,060
Yeah, yeah, snap out of it already:
No one likes a widow:
715
00:43:58,130 --> 00:43:59,760
Oh, wait: Hang on:
716
00:43:59,830 --> 00:44:02,300
Some damn tentacle
got in the screen door:
717
00:44:02,370 --> 00:44:03,460
(SCREAMING)
718
00:44:03,540 --> 00:44:04,730
(DIAL TONE)
719
00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:09,010
ELECTRONIC VOICE: Collect call from
Decapod 10: Will you pay for color?
720
00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:10,200
No!
721
00:44:10,780 --> 00:44:13,010
Uncle Zoid! What's new?
722
00:44:13,080 --> 00:44:15,550
You still doing theater
for the blind and deaf?
723
00:44:15,620 --> 00:44:19,710
Screw them:
I got a part in a fancy DVD movie!
724
00:44:19,790 --> 00:44:23,920
It's only one line, but I'm gonna ham it up
like you wouldn't believe:
725
00:44:23,990 --> 00:44:24,980
(EX CLAIMING)
726
00:44:25,090 --> 00:44:30,030
What crummy sin have I committed
to be chastised in such a crazy manner?
727
00:44:30,100 --> 00:44:31,150
(SCREAMS)
728
00:44:31,230 --> 00:44:34,500
Hello? Hello?
Call me back on my shell phone!
729
00:44:40,510 --> 00:44:42,200
ZAPP: Captain's log, stardate,
730
00:44:42,280 --> 00:44:44,440
the year of the tiger:
731
00:44:44,510 --> 00:44:46,410
The battle has been bravely fought,
732
00:44:46,480 --> 00:44:49,210
and the suffering of our troops
beyond measure:
733
00:44:49,280 --> 00:44:53,480
But the alien is invulnerable,
and our defeat inevitable:
734
00:44:53,550 --> 00:44:56,520
That much is obvious,
even from my remote command post
735
00:44:56,590 --> 00:44:59,220
here at the Times Square Applebee's:
736
00:45:00,190 --> 00:45:04,930
Waiter! Take this fried mozzarella
back to the kitchen and fry it some more.
737
00:45:10,770 --> 00:45:11,790
(EX CLAIMS)
738
00:45:11,870 --> 00:45:14,640
The tentacle's coming towards Earth
and there's no stopping it.
739
00:45:14,710 --> 00:45:17,610
King Kong's too old to save us this time.
740
00:45:17,680 --> 00:45:18,940
(COUGHING)
741
00:45:20,180 --> 00:45:22,310
We have only one hope, Mr. President.
742
00:45:22,380 --> 00:45:24,510
We must encase the entire planet
743
00:45:24,580 --> 00:45:29,020
in a protective sphere of
my patented, ultra-hard diamondium!
744
00:45:29,090 --> 00:45:30,420
Diamondium?
745
00:45:30,490 --> 00:45:33,690
(SCOFFS) I could gum through that
with my dentures behind my back.
746
00:45:33,760 --> 00:45:36,990
My trademarked diamondillium
is twice as hard!
747
00:45:37,060 --> 00:45:40,730
Twice as hard as your head!
Which makes it still fairly soft!
748
00:45:40,800 --> 00:45:42,730
Now look here, you Poindexters.
749
00:45:42,800 --> 00:45:45,860
I don't care how you decide. Just decide!
750
00:45:49,210 --> 00:45:50,680
Diamondillium it is.
751
00:46:01,050 --> 00:46:05,650
So, hey, Calculon, I know I'm the new guy,
and, pardon my ignorance,
752
00:46:05,730 --> 00:46:07,220
but when do we kill all humans?
753
00:46:07,290 --> 00:46:08,450
Never.
754
00:46:08,530 --> 00:46:11,590
But what about our motto?
Doesn't it mean anything?
755
00:46:11,670 --> 00:46:13,390
(CALCULON LAUGHING)
756
00:46:13,470 --> 00:46:16,160
Oh, Bender,
your idealism is heartwarming.
757
00:46:16,240 --> 00:46:21,200
But the League of Robots
hasn't killed a human in over 800 years.
758
00:46:21,270 --> 00:46:23,800
And that was a very sick girl scout.
759
00:46:23,880 --> 00:46:26,000
Quite sick indeed.
760
00:46:26,080 --> 00:46:28,510
Sweet, innocent Bender.
761
00:46:38,460 --> 00:46:43,760
WERNSTROM: I declare my impenetrable
diamondillium sphere complete!
762
00:46:45,430 --> 00:46:47,560
Now look here, Wernstrom.
763
00:46:47,630 --> 00:46:52,160
You're making it sound as if the sphere
was your idea when we both know...
764
00:46:53,310 --> 00:46:54,570
It was!
765
00:46:54,640 --> 00:46:58,600
All credit to my colleague,
Ogden Wernstrom!
766
00:47:01,580 --> 00:47:02,840
(ALL SCREAMING)
767
00:47:02,920 --> 00:47:04,540
It's horrible!
768
00:47:10,490 --> 00:47:12,790
I can't make it! Go on without me!
769
00:47:12,860 --> 00:47:14,290
I'm trying!
770
00:47:15,030 --> 00:47:16,460
Go on without me faster!
771
00:47:24,570 --> 00:47:26,440
(CREW SCREAMING)
772
00:47:32,650 --> 00:47:33,770
(ALL GASPING)
773
00:47:40,490 --> 00:47:44,120
Sweet squid of Madrid!
The tentacle got Fry!
774
00:47:44,190 --> 00:47:47,720
Quick, hand me my machete!
We can still save his legs!
775
00:47:47,960 --> 00:47:49,620
(CROWD EX CLAIMS)
776
00:47:50,200 --> 00:47:51,860
Silence!
777
00:47:53,630 --> 00:47:57,160
I have traveled far and seen deep,
778
00:47:57,240 --> 00:48:01,470
and I have come to know
the purpose of our existence.
779
00:48:01,540 --> 00:48:02,800
Finally.
780
00:48:02,880 --> 00:48:05,710
Thou shalt love the tentacle!
781
00:48:07,680 --> 00:48:09,840
Well, at least we don't
have to love one another.
782
00:48:14,790 --> 00:48:18,720
A new age has begun.
The age of the tentacle!
783
00:48:21,360 --> 00:48:24,260
Open your necks and receive the love!
784
00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:26,130
(ALL SCREAMING)
785
00:48:31,370 --> 00:48:33,000
Ow, my neck!
786
00:48:33,070 --> 00:48:34,770
Ow, my neck!
787
00:48:34,840 --> 00:48:37,470
My neck feels perfectly... Ow, my neck!
788
00:48:39,610 --> 00:48:42,910
Someone help me! I'm important!
789
00:48:42,980 --> 00:48:45,710
Say, I love the tentacle.
790
00:48:45,790 --> 00:48:47,720
I also love the neck-a-majigger!
791
00:48:51,990 --> 00:48:53,020
(EX CLAIMS)
792
00:48:55,360 --> 00:48:56,450
(GROANS)
793
00:49:01,230 --> 00:49:03,260
Hooray, Zoidberg escaped!
794
00:49:04,640 --> 00:49:07,300
Hooray, Zoidberg loves the tentacle!
795
00:49:07,370 --> 00:49:08,360
(EX CLAIMS)
796
00:49:09,180 --> 00:49:10,540
(ALL PANTING)
797
00:49:10,610 --> 00:49:12,100
It got Zoidberg!
798
00:49:12,180 --> 00:49:16,510
Oh, I never knew how much
I'd miss him until he was gone!
799
00:49:16,580 --> 00:49:18,310
Not that much, as it turns out.
800
00:49:18,380 --> 00:49:19,440
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
801
00:49:19,520 --> 00:49:20,540
(EX CLAIMS)
802
00:49:20,620 --> 00:49:22,380
Thus sayeth the tentacle,
803
00:49:22,460 --> 00:49:26,050
"Verily, thou shalt rejoice
in the house of the tentacle."
804
00:49:26,130 --> 00:49:29,190
Fry, listen to yourself.
You've been brainwashed.
805
00:49:29,260 --> 00:49:32,990
No, I'm just trying to fit my diction
to the importance of what I'm saying.
806
00:49:33,070 --> 00:49:36,190
- Please, let me speak.
- I'm listening.
807
00:49:36,270 --> 00:49:40,970
Don't be afraid of the tentacle, Leela.
It's beautiful and it loves me.
808
00:49:41,040 --> 00:49:42,560
And I love it.
809
00:49:42,640 --> 00:49:45,670
Aw. That's so nice for both of you.
810
00:49:45,750 --> 00:49:47,910
I know it may seem strange
that I have feelings
811
00:49:47,980 --> 00:49:50,040
for an octopus monster
from another universe.
812
00:49:50,120 --> 00:49:52,710
And yes, perhaps
it's not the storybook romance
813
00:49:52,790 --> 00:49:55,880
that's been crammed down
our throats by Hollywood.
814
00:49:55,960 --> 00:49:59,620
But the Monsterpus has loved us
from afar since we were amoebas.
815
00:49:59,690 --> 00:50:01,750
Only when the space anomaly opened
816
00:50:01,830 --> 00:50:05,700
could it finally express
a billion years of longing.
817
00:50:05,770 --> 00:50:08,830
Really? It loves us that much?
818
00:50:08,900 --> 00:50:10,530
Fire diamondium cannon!
819
00:50:11,040 --> 00:50:12,630
Hey!
820
00:50:12,710 --> 00:50:13,930
(YELPING)
821
00:50:19,610 --> 00:50:20,670
No effect.
822
00:50:20,750 --> 00:50:24,010
The crystals are bouncing off the tentacle
like meatballs off Mothra.
823
00:50:24,080 --> 00:50:28,110
Oh, what a surprise.
I told you diamondium was worthless!
824
00:50:28,190 --> 00:50:32,680
Wernstrom, quit hyping
your cheap diamondillium and look at this.
825
00:50:32,760 --> 00:50:34,020
(BEEPING)
826
00:50:34,090 --> 00:50:35,120
Uh-oh.
827
00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:36,180
What?
828
00:50:36,260 --> 00:50:38,130
According to this blinking light,
829
00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:42,460
the tentacle is made of electro-matter,
matter's bad-ass grandma!
830
00:50:42,540 --> 00:50:44,870
Nothing from our universe
can cut through it.
831
00:50:44,940 --> 00:50:49,970
Not diamondium, not diamondillium,
not even your wife's pound cake, Hermes!
832
00:50:50,040 --> 00:50:51,140
(LAUGHING)
833
00:50:51,210 --> 00:50:54,810
She's a terrible cook.
Anyway, we're all dead.
834
00:50:54,880 --> 00:50:56,510
(ALL SCREAMING)
835
00:51:03,190 --> 00:51:04,210
(SIGHS)
836
00:51:04,290 --> 00:51:06,350
So, Bender, is something wrong?
837
00:51:06,430 --> 00:51:08,990
Who said that? Oh, it was me!
838
00:51:09,060 --> 00:51:12,230
'Cause my roommate doesn't notice
or even care that I'm upset!
839
00:51:12,300 --> 00:51:14,200
What, Bender? Is something wrong?
840
00:51:14,270 --> 00:51:17,100
Yes! I joined a club I thought was cool,
841
00:51:17,170 --> 00:51:20,230
but it turns out
all the leaguie-weegies are totally lame.
842
00:51:20,310 --> 00:51:22,970
That's what we call ourselves,
"leaguie-weegies."
843
00:51:23,040 --> 00:51:25,410
I'm sorry.
I should've asked what was bothering you.
844
00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:28,280
- I've been kind of preoccupied.
- With what?
845
00:51:28,350 --> 00:51:31,680
Well, I went to another universe,
and I fell in love with a giant octopus,
846
00:51:31,750 --> 00:51:34,050
and now I'm pope of a new religion.
847
00:51:34,120 --> 00:51:36,990
- Weren't you already pope of something?
- No.
848
00:51:37,060 --> 00:51:41,960
Oh. Well, I'm just saying I'd like you
to show an interest in my life, too.
849
00:51:42,030 --> 00:51:44,090
Okay, let's catch up soon.
850
00:51:44,160 --> 00:51:47,830
But right now, I gotta go shove a tentacle
into everyone in China.
851
00:51:47,900 --> 00:51:49,200
(EX CLAIMS)
852
00:51:54,510 --> 00:51:57,910
They're coming!
Those horrible, horrible things are coming!
853
00:51:57,980 --> 00:51:59,040
Morbo?
854
00:51:59,110 --> 00:52:02,670
As the universe falls prey
to the revolting alien,
855
00:52:02,750 --> 00:52:06,710
only a few isolated pockets
of resistance remain.
856
00:52:06,790 --> 00:52:08,080
(FEMALE REPORTER LAUGHING)
857
00:52:08,150 --> 00:52:11,560
Those pockets sure are missing out
on a great thing.
858
00:52:11,790 --> 00:52:13,380
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
859
00:52:14,330 --> 00:52:15,450
(YELPS)
860
00:52:18,030 --> 00:52:20,120
(ALL SNORING)
861
00:52:24,500 --> 00:52:25,630
(EX CLAIMS)
862
00:52:37,220 --> 00:52:39,150
- Amy?
- Sorry.
863
00:52:39,350 --> 00:52:42,950
I thought I saw a tentacle,
but it was just a harmless land squid.
864
00:52:44,720 --> 00:52:47,320
(SIGHING) I better have some cocoffee.
865
00:52:48,490 --> 00:52:49,720
(SCREAMS)
866
00:52:52,400 --> 00:52:54,530
When I gave up diapers,
my parents promised
867
00:52:54,600 --> 00:52:56,760
exactly this would never happen!
868
00:52:56,840 --> 00:52:59,740
Nobody panic! Just get to the panic room!
869
00:53:05,180 --> 00:53:07,910
Well done, people!
We had a great first week.
870
00:53:07,980 --> 00:53:11,880
We got 90% of world leaders,
everyone who bought a Hanes undershirt,
871
00:53:11,950 --> 00:53:15,010
and this year's
most promising new R&B group,
872
00:53:15,090 --> 00:53:18,990
give it up
for the Grammy-nominated Funkalistics!
873
00:53:19,090 --> 00:53:20,530
(ALL HARMONIZING)
874
00:53:20,590 --> 00:53:23,060
(SINGING) Talkin' 'bout the tentacle
875
00:53:28,300 --> 00:53:30,170
Good news, everyone!
876
00:53:30,240 --> 00:53:34,200
I was up all night inventing,
and then finally, I invented!
877
00:53:34,270 --> 00:53:35,330
Invented what?
878
00:53:35,410 --> 00:53:38,340
The neck protector,
the neck protector junior,
879
00:53:38,410 --> 00:53:42,180
and now, for a limited time,
the lady neck protector!
880
00:53:42,350 --> 00:53:45,080
I'll take two. My neck is huge.
881
00:53:46,490 --> 00:53:48,150
We're perfectly safe now.
882
00:53:48,220 --> 00:53:51,520
Time to stop living
like a bunch of nervous nellies.
883
00:53:52,130 --> 00:53:55,580
Professor, these look like you cut them
from cardboard toilet paper tubes.
884
00:53:55,660 --> 00:54:00,220
So? Lots of important inventions are made
from toilet paper tubes.
885
00:54:00,300 --> 00:54:03,790
Microscopes, the internet,
tentacle polish...
886
00:54:04,900 --> 00:54:06,130
It got the professor!
887
00:54:06,270 --> 00:54:07,740
(LAUGHING DEMENTEDLY)
888
00:54:07,810 --> 00:54:09,000
(ALL SCREAMING)
889
00:54:12,210 --> 00:54:13,800
Wait, why am I screaming?
890
00:54:13,880 --> 00:54:15,440
It got me, too!
891
00:54:18,220 --> 00:54:19,410
(BOTH EX CLAIM)
892
00:54:22,920 --> 00:54:25,410
Stop, in the name of love!
893
00:54:31,960 --> 00:54:33,260
(SCREAMING)
894
00:54:41,640 --> 00:54:42,700
Crud.
895
00:54:42,780 --> 00:54:45,540
We may be the last
two normal people on Earth.
896
00:54:45,610 --> 00:54:48,270
At least I won't have to trim
my elbow talons anymore.
897
00:54:48,350 --> 00:54:52,280
I'm scared! And I miss Kif!
898
00:54:52,350 --> 00:54:54,150
It's okay to cry, Amy.
899
00:54:54,220 --> 00:54:57,490
Come here,
I'm wearing absorbent shoulder straps.
900
00:54:57,690 --> 00:54:58,710
Mmm.
901
00:54:58,790 --> 00:55:02,750
What an erotic display
of girl-on-girl consolation.
902
00:55:02,830 --> 00:55:04,260
- Zapp?
- Hurry, Leela,
903
00:55:04,330 --> 00:55:06,800
we don't have much time
to begin repopulating Earth.
904
00:55:06,870 --> 00:55:07,890
Go brush your teeth.
905
00:55:07,970 --> 00:55:11,630
I'll be waiting for you naked
under this quesadilla.
906
00:55:13,070 --> 00:55:14,160
(ALL GASP)
907
00:55:14,240 --> 00:55:16,300
Stop resisting, my brethren!
908
00:55:16,380 --> 00:55:19,240
Don't you want to be part of something
bigger than yourselves?
909
00:55:19,310 --> 00:55:21,540
Like a big crazy monster?
910
00:55:21,950 --> 00:55:23,380
(WHIMPERING)
911
00:55:24,820 --> 00:55:27,650
So we got her, huh? Bring her in!
912
00:55:27,720 --> 00:55:28,980
Do it already!
913
00:55:33,190 --> 00:55:35,660
- Hello, Colleen.
- Fry, please!
914
00:55:35,730 --> 00:55:37,420
If this is about your futon,
915
00:55:37,500 --> 00:55:40,360
I sold it to pay the phone bill
that you skipped out on!
916
00:55:44,300 --> 00:55:47,300
Colleen wasn't satisfied with me.
Were you, Colleen?
917
00:55:47,370 --> 00:55:49,470
Come on, Fry, this isn't cool!
918
00:55:49,540 --> 00:55:51,410
She had to have four other boyfriends!
919
00:55:51,480 --> 00:55:56,110
I guess she never thought
I'd become tentacle pope of the world!
920
00:55:56,180 --> 00:55:57,310
You know what?
921
00:55:57,380 --> 00:55:58,370
It's true!
922
00:55:58,450 --> 00:56:00,010
You weren't enough for me!
923
00:56:00,090 --> 00:56:01,950
No one man is!
924
00:56:02,020 --> 00:56:05,790
You were great, but you weren't Chinese,
you weren't Cameroonian,
925
00:56:05,860 --> 00:56:08,350
and you certainly were not
the "king of karaoke,"
926
00:56:08,430 --> 00:56:10,450
as you so often claimed.
927
00:56:10,530 --> 00:56:12,520
And if your ego can't take that,
928
00:56:12,600 --> 00:56:15,830
then you don't deserve
to be tentacle pope of anything!
929
00:56:15,940 --> 00:56:17,160
Oh, yeah, Colleen?
930
00:56:17,240 --> 00:56:20,140
Well, I've got one thing to say to you.
931
00:56:22,540 --> 00:56:23,700
I completely agree!
932
00:56:23,780 --> 00:56:25,070
You, you... What?
933
00:56:25,140 --> 00:56:27,340
Why should you be satisfied with one man
934
00:56:27,410 --> 00:56:30,940
when love needs to share itself
with the whole universe?
935
00:56:31,020 --> 00:56:34,820
Wow, Fry. You know, that's really...
936
00:56:34,890 --> 00:56:35,880
(SCREAMS)
937
00:56:36,690 --> 00:56:38,750
Love the tentacle, honey.
938
00:56:38,820 --> 00:56:41,380
I do love the tentacle.
939
00:56:42,800 --> 00:56:46,390
Come on out, guys!
There's enough love for everybody!
940
00:56:49,970 --> 00:56:51,160
Aw.
941
00:56:54,240 --> 00:56:55,260
(QUACKING)
942
00:57:00,210 --> 00:57:01,540
(ALL PANTING)
943
00:57:04,180 --> 00:57:05,620
(GROANING)
944
00:57:10,390 --> 00:57:11,620
We're trapped!
945
00:57:11,690 --> 00:57:12,780
(ZAPP GRUNTS)
946
00:57:14,390 --> 00:57:18,630
- Help, help! Is anyone out there?
- Bender to Leela: I read you:
947
00:57:19,630 --> 00:57:22,970
- 'Sup, bigboots?
- Bender, we need a place to hide!
948
00:57:23,040 --> 00:57:26,330
- Please!
- Pretty please!
949
00:57:26,670 --> 00:57:28,330
(LAUGHING)
950
00:57:28,410 --> 00:57:31,270
You humans are so cute
when you're scared.
951
00:57:31,340 --> 00:57:32,810
In here.
952
00:57:36,380 --> 00:57:38,150
My leg feels funny!
953
00:57:40,290 --> 00:57:44,660
Humans are disgusting!
I opened one up once. I almost barfed.
954
00:57:44,990 --> 00:57:48,050
Did you know their hair just
keeps growing and growing?
955
00:57:48,130 --> 00:57:50,150
My leg feels funny!
956
00:57:52,830 --> 00:57:55,670
Leela, you're crushing me
with your rock-hard butt.
957
00:57:55,740 --> 00:57:56,720
Sorry.
958
00:57:56,800 --> 00:58:01,330
Mmm. I can only imagine what
rock-hard part of Leela is crushing me.
959
00:58:03,380 --> 00:58:06,040
Anyone mind if I turn up the heat a tad?
960
00:58:06,110 --> 00:58:09,670
Please do. I fear I'll catch a rust
from this awful damp.
961
00:58:12,080 --> 00:58:13,680
(BOILING)
962
00:58:16,960 --> 00:58:18,150
(SIGHS IN SATISFACTION)
963
00:58:18,420 --> 00:58:21,720
I can't take it!
I'm being steamed in my own velour!
964
00:58:21,790 --> 00:58:22,850
(SHUSHING)
965
00:58:22,930 --> 00:58:24,520
Death to humans!
966
00:58:24,600 --> 00:58:25,960
(ALL GRUNT)
967
00:58:26,130 --> 00:58:28,230
My leg feels better!
968
00:58:29,070 --> 00:58:30,190
Hi, Bender.
969
00:58:30,270 --> 00:58:33,970
- Bender, you know these humans?
- Of course not!
970
00:58:34,740 --> 00:58:38,800
Who are you humans
and why am I pointing you to the exit?
971
00:58:38,880 --> 00:58:42,250
- Go, go, go!
- Thanks for everything, Bender!
972
00:58:42,350 --> 00:58:44,370
Death to all of you!
973
00:58:44,450 --> 00:58:48,010
Bender,
methinks thou doth protest too much.
974
00:58:48,090 --> 00:58:50,150
It seems Bender hates humans
975
00:58:50,220 --> 00:58:54,020
the way I hate having my nipples polished
with industrial sandpaper.
976
00:58:54,090 --> 00:58:55,080
(GIGGLES)
977
00:58:55,160 --> 00:58:56,150
(ALL LAUGHING)
978
00:58:56,230 --> 00:58:57,350
Quite right.
979
00:58:57,600 --> 00:59:01,560
It's okay, Bender, to err is
980
00:59:01,630 --> 00:59:03,000
human.
981
00:59:03,070 --> 00:59:04,470
(ALL LAUGHING)
982
00:59:05,870 --> 00:59:08,340
Sir, you forget yourself!
983
00:59:09,210 --> 00:59:10,200
(ALL GASP)
984
00:59:10,310 --> 00:59:14,180
I challenge you
to a duel on the field of honor.
985
00:59:14,310 --> 00:59:15,780
Oh, my...
986
00:59:20,550 --> 00:59:22,020
Leela, it's getting dark.
987
00:59:22,090 --> 00:59:24,520
We may have to make a tent
out of Amy's skin.
988
00:59:24,590 --> 00:59:27,080
Look, there's an abandoned cabin!
989
00:59:27,530 --> 00:59:28,750
Even so.
990
00:59:30,660 --> 00:59:33,390
We're in luck. This must have been
the cabin of a soup bootlegger
991
00:59:33,470 --> 00:59:35,990
back in the days of soup prohibition.
992
00:59:38,370 --> 00:59:41,570
Oh, yeah. Bathtub minestrone.
993
00:59:46,480 --> 00:59:47,670
(SOBBING)
994
00:59:48,180 --> 00:59:52,780
Poor Kif! I can't believe he's gone forever!
995
00:59:53,290 --> 00:59:57,220
- Ditto on the grief there, Amy.
- You miss him, too?
996
00:59:57,290 --> 01:00:00,320
More than you, as his mere wife,
could ever understand.
997
01:00:00,390 --> 01:00:02,520
He was my fourth lieutenant,
for God's sake,
998
01:00:02,600 --> 01:00:05,430
and bore the peppermill
at the captain's table.
999
01:00:05,500 --> 01:00:08,800
- Really?
- Oh, Amy, I miss him so!
1000
01:00:08,900 --> 01:00:11,670
Hardly a month goes by
that I don't think of him.
1001
01:00:11,740 --> 01:00:15,330
But you know, in a way, he's still with us.
1002
01:00:17,240 --> 01:00:19,300
Do you feel his presence?
1003
01:00:19,380 --> 01:00:21,710
I'm not sure.
1004
01:00:21,780 --> 01:00:23,650
It's over here.
1005
01:00:24,550 --> 01:00:25,540
Closer.
1006
01:00:29,390 --> 01:00:30,880
(HUMMING)
1007
01:00:33,330 --> 01:00:35,290
Amy! Zapp!
1008
01:00:35,360 --> 01:00:37,260
I fetched up some fresh soup!
1009
01:00:39,030 --> 01:00:40,160
(GASPS)
1010
01:00:40,400 --> 01:00:41,590
(BOTH GASP)
1011
01:00:42,330 --> 01:00:46,670
Sorry you had to find out like this, Leela.
I was hoping you'd see it on YouTube first.
1012
01:00:46,740 --> 01:00:47,970
(SHUDDERING)
1013
01:00:48,040 --> 01:00:51,640
As my ex-Iover,
you're naturally shocked and jealous,
1014
01:00:51,710 --> 01:00:54,650
but you may well
get your chance again someday.
1015
01:00:54,710 --> 01:00:56,240
How about today at 4:00?
1016
01:00:56,320 --> 01:00:58,280
(BOTH EX CLAIM)
1017
01:00:58,920 --> 01:01:01,250
Hey, this isn't so bad.
1018
01:01:01,320 --> 01:01:04,190
She's right.
Leela, you must try the tentacle.
1019
01:01:04,260 --> 01:01:07,420
It's like my soul
is wearing a velour body glove.
1020
01:01:09,530 --> 01:01:10,550
Get off me!
1021
01:01:10,630 --> 01:01:13,720
I'm saving my neck
for a rich, handsome Dracula.
1022
01:01:22,610 --> 01:01:24,800
What I love most about the tentacle
1023
01:01:24,910 --> 01:01:28,210
is that I don't need
to move my bowels anymore.
1024
01:01:28,280 --> 01:01:31,040
It's all handled by that family in Evanston.
1025
01:01:36,990 --> 01:01:38,350
(GRUNTING)
1026
01:01:53,540 --> 01:01:55,470
No, it can't be.
1027
01:01:56,340 --> 01:01:59,740
Leela, what's your favorite thing
about the tentacle?
1028
01:01:59,810 --> 01:02:02,510
(GASPS) You don't have a tentacle!
1029
01:02:02,580 --> 01:02:05,070
Get her! Get her some love!
1030
01:02:05,180 --> 01:02:06,950
(WHIMPERING)
1031
01:02:08,850 --> 01:02:09,840
(SQUAWKS)
1032
01:02:11,660 --> 01:02:14,090
You're on in five minutes, Excellency.
1033
01:02:14,160 --> 01:02:16,860
You sure you don't want
your comedy pope staff?
1034
01:02:16,930 --> 01:02:18,790
(STAFF IMITATING SLIDE WHISTLE)
1035
01:02:18,860 --> 01:02:21,360
The tentacle monster
is about to address the world.
1036
01:02:21,430 --> 01:02:22,760
It's too serious.
1037
01:02:22,970 --> 01:02:23,960
Oh.
1038
01:02:24,340 --> 01:02:26,400
- Hello, Fry.
- Leela?
1039
01:02:26,470 --> 01:02:28,500
How did you get past my sumo ninjas?
1040
01:02:28,570 --> 01:02:31,510
I told them something so shocking
that they let me by.
1041
01:02:31,580 --> 01:02:33,040
What's that?
1042
01:02:33,110 --> 01:02:34,880
I love the tentacle.
1043
01:02:39,180 --> 01:02:42,020
We're rolling in three, two...
1044
01:02:42,090 --> 01:02:44,280
What? We're already rolling?
1045
01:02:45,220 --> 01:02:46,780
Love the tentacle!
1046
01:02:46,860 --> 01:02:48,990
- Love the tentacle!
- Love the tentacle!
1047
01:02:49,060 --> 01:02:53,260
Loved ones, the Monsterpus
has revealed unto me its name.
1048
01:02:53,330 --> 01:02:55,630
What is our love's name?
1049
01:02:55,700 --> 01:02:56,830
Yivo.
1050
01:02:56,900 --> 01:03:00,430
Yivo is the lover of all beings,
male and female.
1051
01:03:00,510 --> 01:03:03,960
But Yivo has no gender,
thus Yivo has proclaimed
1052
01:03:04,040 --> 01:03:08,670
that instead of "he" or "she,"
we are to use the word "shklee."
1053
01:03:08,750 --> 01:03:10,940
And instead of "him" or "her,"
1054
01:03:11,020 --> 01:03:14,580
we are to use the word "shklim,"
or "shkler."
1055
01:03:14,750 --> 01:03:17,480
Phew! I've been sweating
the nomenclature all week.
1056
01:03:17,560 --> 01:03:21,550
So here shklee is shklerself, Yivo!
1057
01:03:21,630 --> 01:03:23,150
(ALL CHEERING)
1058
01:03:24,430 --> 01:03:25,760
Yay, Yivo!
1059
01:03:38,640 --> 01:03:41,940
Attention, beings of Universe Gamma.
1060
01:03:42,010 --> 01:03:43,610
- Where?
- Here.
1061
01:03:43,680 --> 01:03:45,210
I had a hunch.
1062
01:03:45,280 --> 01:03:47,510
I am Yivo.
1063
01:03:47,590 --> 01:03:51,610
In your universe, you are many,
but in my universe, I am one.
1064
01:03:52,360 --> 01:03:54,920
For a trillion years I dwelt in solitude,
1065
01:03:54,990 --> 01:03:57,620
content with my job
and my stamp collecting,
1066
01:03:57,700 --> 01:04:01,690
but then I looked across immensity
and saw the big bang, and I was, like,
1067
01:04:02,470 --> 01:04:04,870
"Whoa, who's that?"
1068
01:04:04,940 --> 01:04:09,030
And I knew then that I was Ionely.
1069
01:04:09,240 --> 01:04:11,440
You poor monster!
1070
01:04:11,540 --> 01:04:16,410
Then your emissary Fry came unto me,
and he, too, was Ionely.
1071
01:04:16,480 --> 01:04:22,420
So I reached into your universe
that we might feel each other's touch.
1072
01:04:22,790 --> 01:04:24,920
Hey, Yivo, feel this.
1073
01:04:27,130 --> 01:04:28,120
(ALL GASPING)
1074
01:04:28,190 --> 01:04:29,180
(EX CLAIMING)
1075
01:04:29,260 --> 01:04:30,290
Ow!
1076
01:04:30,360 --> 01:04:33,350
People of everywhere,
I have shocking news.
1077
01:04:33,430 --> 01:04:34,420
Hey, butt out!
1078
01:04:34,500 --> 01:04:37,030
This is between me
and everyone else in existence.
1079
01:04:37,100 --> 01:04:40,940
Yivo talks a lot about love,
but what he's actually doing...
1080
01:04:41,010 --> 01:04:42,910
What shklee's actually doing.
1081
01:04:42,980 --> 01:04:44,770
...is mating with you!
1082
01:04:44,840 --> 01:04:47,000
(ALL MURMURING)
1083
01:04:47,610 --> 01:04:49,270
These aren't tentacles.
1084
01:04:49,350 --> 01:04:50,870
They're genticles.
1085
01:04:53,820 --> 01:04:55,310
Ew!
1086
01:04:57,790 --> 01:04:59,260
(GRUNTING)
1087
01:04:59,320 --> 01:05:03,020
We've been had, people.
The Monsterpus is a monster perv.
1088
01:05:03,100 --> 01:05:05,460
It touched me in a bad place,
1089
01:05:05,530 --> 01:05:07,290
my spinal cord.
1090
01:05:07,370 --> 01:05:09,390
- Get him!
- You mean, get shklim!
1091
01:05:09,470 --> 01:05:10,490
(ALL YELLING)
1092
01:05:10,570 --> 01:05:12,300
Hey, wait a second.
1093
01:05:13,940 --> 01:05:16,570
Wait, wait. Allow me to explain.
1094
01:05:16,910 --> 01:05:17,900
(GROANS)
1095
01:05:18,010 --> 01:05:19,070
Granted, at first
1096
01:05:19,140 --> 01:05:22,380
I desired only to bang out
a quick cheap one with your universe,
1097
01:05:22,450 --> 01:05:23,940
but it's your own fault.
1098
01:05:24,020 --> 01:05:26,110
Your universe dresses provocatively.
1099
01:05:26,190 --> 01:05:27,850
Does not!
1100
01:05:27,920 --> 01:05:32,980
And yet as the initial filthy thrill wore off,
I realized there was more to it.
1101
01:05:33,360 --> 01:05:36,790
I knew then that the 20 quadrillion of you
1102
01:05:36,860 --> 01:05:38,300
were my soul mate.
1103
01:05:38,360 --> 01:05:39,800
We loved you,
1104
01:05:39,870 --> 01:05:43,030
and you turn around
and treat us like some sort of woman?
1105
01:05:44,040 --> 01:05:45,660
I was Ionely.
1106
01:05:45,740 --> 01:05:47,830
I didn't even know
there was anybody else.
1107
01:05:47,910 --> 01:05:49,500
It's not like I hurt anyone.
1108
01:05:49,580 --> 01:05:52,480
Yes, you did, you dumb calamari!
1109
01:05:52,540 --> 01:05:55,910
- Who?
- Kif Kroker, my Fonfon Ru!
1110
01:05:55,980 --> 01:05:59,380
If he hadn't tried to kill you,
he'd still be alive!
1111
01:05:59,450 --> 01:06:00,580
(SOBBING)
1112
01:06:00,650 --> 01:06:01,640
Really?
1113
01:06:01,720 --> 01:06:04,480
I'm... I'm deeply sorry. I...
1114
01:06:04,560 --> 01:06:06,020
I'm a big clumsy jerk!
1115
01:06:06,090 --> 01:06:08,290
I know you are, but what am I?
1116
01:06:08,360 --> 01:06:09,420
(CHUCKLING)
1117
01:06:09,500 --> 01:06:12,060
I can never undo what was done.
1118
01:06:12,130 --> 01:06:13,760
Oh, wait. I can.
1119
01:06:29,650 --> 01:06:31,010
(RETCHING)
1120
01:06:33,350 --> 01:06:34,580
(ALL GASPING)
1121
01:06:34,650 --> 01:06:37,350
Kiffy, you're alive!
1122
01:06:37,420 --> 01:06:38,890
Amy, my love.
1123
01:06:39,320 --> 01:06:40,350
(CLEARS THROAT)
1124
01:06:40,430 --> 01:06:41,550
This is awkward.
1125
01:06:41,630 --> 01:06:43,290
It is? Why?
1126
01:06:46,970 --> 01:06:47,990
(SIGHS)
1127
01:06:48,070 --> 01:06:51,130
Please, please, give me another chance.
1128
01:06:51,200 --> 01:06:52,600
We rushed into this relationship,
1129
01:06:52,670 --> 01:06:55,940
but let's start over as friends
and see where things go.
1130
01:06:56,010 --> 01:06:57,500
(FRY GAGGING)
1131
01:06:57,710 --> 01:06:59,510
(ALL EX CLAIMING)
1132
01:07:04,150 --> 01:07:05,810
Take me back, Kif?
1133
01:07:05,880 --> 01:07:10,790
I don't think I can. How could you?
My body wasn't even warm yet.
1134
01:07:10,860 --> 01:07:13,620
- You were dead.
- For about five minutes.
1135
01:07:13,690 --> 01:07:15,420
That's all it takes.
1136
01:07:15,630 --> 01:07:19,590
Whereas Calculon has sullied
Bender's reputation
1137
01:07:19,700 --> 01:07:25,470
by insinuating that he is a human-Iover,
a duel is hereby engaged.
1138
01:07:25,700 --> 01:07:29,640
Bender, as the offended party,
shall have choice of weapon.
1139
01:07:29,710 --> 01:07:31,610
Planetary annihilators.
1140
01:07:34,080 --> 01:07:38,110
'Tis a grave and solemn day
for the League of Robots.
1141
01:07:38,180 --> 01:07:40,380
It's gonna be fun on the bun!
1142
01:07:40,690 --> 01:07:46,090
Each duelist will take 10 paces, pirouette,
and fire like a madman.
1143
01:07:47,130 --> 01:07:50,190
Gentlebots, take your paces.
1144
01:07:50,560 --> 01:07:51,960
One,
1145
01:07:52,030 --> 01:07:54,060
two, three...
1146
01:07:54,370 --> 01:07:56,360
Oh, how dreadfully exciting.
1147
01:07:56,440 --> 01:07:57,460
(MOANING)
1148
01:07:57,540 --> 01:07:58,870
Oh, yes.
1149
01:07:58,940 --> 01:07:59,960
(GIGGLING)
1150
01:08:02,640 --> 01:08:06,600
At 0800 hours, we received
the following transmission from Yivo.
1151
01:08:07,780 --> 01:08:09,010
Hey, it's Yivo:
1152
01:08:09,080 --> 01:08:10,140
(CHUCKLES)
1153
01:08:10,720 --> 01:08:13,150
Want to do something Friday? Call me:
1154
01:08:13,220 --> 01:08:14,410
(BEEPS)
1155
01:08:14,590 --> 01:08:16,520
- Analysis?
- Mr. President,
1156
01:08:16,590 --> 01:08:20,650
I think we need to seriously consider
the possibility of going on this date.
1157
01:08:21,030 --> 01:08:24,430
I agree. Yivo makes me feel sexy,
1158
01:08:24,500 --> 01:08:26,050
and I'm asexual.
1159
01:08:26,130 --> 01:08:27,620
(ALL AGREEING)
1160
01:08:27,700 --> 01:08:30,360
Very well, but no sugar on the first date.
1161
01:08:30,440 --> 01:08:31,900
All in favor?
1162
01:08:32,910 --> 01:08:34,300
All opposed?
1163
01:08:35,240 --> 01:08:36,640
Motion is carried.
1164
01:08:36,710 --> 01:08:38,230
This is bogus, man.
1165
01:08:38,780 --> 01:08:41,410
...six, seven,
1166
01:08:41,480 --> 01:08:42,670
eight!
1167
01:08:54,460 --> 01:08:55,520
(GROANS)
1168
01:08:55,590 --> 01:08:56,790
Nine, ten, fire.
1169
01:08:56,860 --> 01:08:58,230
Yes, I got him!
1170
01:08:58,300 --> 01:08:59,390
(WHOOPING)
1171
01:08:59,460 --> 01:09:02,260
He... He broke the rules.
1172
01:09:02,330 --> 01:09:05,240
It's a duel, silly. There are no rules.
1173
01:09:05,300 --> 01:09:07,930
Actually, there are scores of rules.
1174
01:09:08,010 --> 01:09:11,740
All laid out with minute particularity
here in the Code Duello:
1175
01:09:12,640 --> 01:09:13,670
(GASPS)
1176
01:09:13,750 --> 01:09:18,910
My fellow Earthlicans, commence
preparations for our date with Yivo:
1177
01:09:19,620 --> 01:09:23,490
WOMAN: (SINGING)
I like you to hold me tight
1178
01:09:23,560 --> 01:09:27,320
You are too, too, too, too, too divine
1179
01:09:27,390 --> 01:09:31,020
If you want to be
in someone's arms tonight
1180
01:09:31,100 --> 01:09:34,070
Just be sure the arms you're in are mine
1181
01:09:34,130 --> 01:09:35,760
MAN: (SINGING) Jungle boogie
1182
01:09:36,340 --> 01:09:37,700
Jungle boogie
1183
01:09:38,540 --> 01:09:40,200
ALL: I had a wonderful time.
1184
01:09:40,270 --> 01:09:41,500
Me, too!
1185
01:09:41,570 --> 01:09:43,540
WOMAN: (SINGING)
I fall, I think I fall for you
1186
01:09:45,440 --> 01:09:48,780
Bender, you've cheated,
insulted and maimed me.
1187
01:09:48,850 --> 01:09:50,470
- Uh-huh.
- And thoroughly destroyed
1188
01:09:50,550 --> 01:09:52,880
our own secret headquarters
in the process.
1189
01:09:52,950 --> 01:09:54,850
Hey, it's easy to criticize.
1190
01:09:54,920 --> 01:09:58,120
I'm so disgusted
by your loathsome behavior
1191
01:09:58,190 --> 01:10:00,780
that I hereby resign
from this imbecilic club
1192
01:10:00,860 --> 01:10:03,050
and relinquish the presidency to you.
1193
01:10:03,130 --> 01:10:05,690
Thanks, Calculon.
Can I have your autograph?
1194
01:10:05,760 --> 01:10:07,430
You certainly can.
1195
01:10:10,040 --> 01:10:11,660
Reports, people, reports!
1196
01:10:11,740 --> 01:10:13,600
How did our universe's date go?
1197
01:10:13,670 --> 01:10:16,970
Oh, it was really fun. We went
to a cute French place in the village.
1198
01:10:17,040 --> 01:10:19,910
My lamb chop fell on the floor,
but they brought me another one.
1199
01:10:19,980 --> 01:10:23,410
Yivo took me to the methane volcano
of Planetoid Four.
1200
01:10:23,480 --> 01:10:26,080
We stayed up late
and watched the sun explode.
1201
01:10:26,150 --> 01:10:28,210
Okay, Yivo showed us a good time.
1202
01:10:28,290 --> 01:10:29,780
No one's denying that,
1203
01:10:29,860 --> 01:10:32,980
but shklee hasn't offered our universe
any kind of commitment,
1204
01:10:33,060 --> 01:10:34,990
and we're 14 billion years old.
1205
01:10:35,060 --> 01:10:37,190
That is too old to play the field.
1206
01:10:37,260 --> 01:10:38,560
(ALL ARGUING)
1207
01:10:39,530 --> 01:10:42,330
- I can't stand this!
- Shut up! Shut up, you creepwads!
1208
01:10:42,400 --> 01:10:44,930
Fry, you're closer to Yivo than anyone.
1209
01:10:45,000 --> 01:10:46,160
What's the skinny?
1210
01:10:46,240 --> 01:10:50,370
I love Yivo, but it's true,
there's been no hint of a commitment.
1211
01:10:50,440 --> 01:10:52,540
I don't know if can put my heart
on the line again
1212
01:10:52,610 --> 01:10:56,170
only to have it broken and stomped on
like a nerd's face.
1213
01:10:56,480 --> 01:10:58,680
All in favor of dumping Yivo?
1214
01:10:58,950 --> 01:11:00,350
- Aye.
- Aye.
1215
01:11:08,990 --> 01:11:10,660
(SNIFFLES) Aye.
1216
01:11:12,760 --> 01:11:17,630
Resolved. Our universe will dump Yivo.
How shall we break the news?
1217
01:11:17,700 --> 01:11:19,360
Let's just send a text message.
1218
01:11:19,440 --> 01:11:21,800
Say we're going through
some weird stuff right now.
1219
01:11:21,870 --> 01:11:24,930
No, we should at least
deliver the news in person.
1220
01:11:25,010 --> 01:11:27,500
Our universe has always tried
to be classy.
1221
01:11:27,880 --> 01:11:31,580
If there's one thing Nixon is known for,
it's class.
1222
01:11:31,650 --> 01:11:33,380
Let's cut this turd loose.
1223
01:11:37,560 --> 01:11:38,990
(IMITATING TRAIN)
1224
01:11:39,060 --> 01:11:41,750
- Yeah!
- Hey, Bender, you seem perky today.
1225
01:11:41,830 --> 01:11:45,160
Yep, but for reasons involving me
becoming president of a league
1226
01:11:45,230 --> 01:11:47,290
I'm not at liberty to discuss...
1227
01:11:47,370 --> 01:11:48,660
Of robots.
1228
01:11:48,800 --> 01:11:50,130
You wanna go grab a booze?
1229
01:11:50,200 --> 01:11:52,830
I can't right now.
We're going to the other universe.
1230
01:11:52,900 --> 01:11:55,100
Great, I'll make Hot Pockets.
1231
01:11:55,310 --> 01:11:57,830
Bender, you know robots
can't go through the anomaly.
1232
01:11:57,910 --> 01:11:59,380
Living beings only.
1233
01:12:08,520 --> 01:12:09,750
(BELL DINGS)
1234
01:12:09,890 --> 01:12:11,080
(GRUMBLES)
1235
01:12:11,490 --> 01:12:14,550
ZOIDBERG: Ow! Ow! Mmm.
1236
01:12:14,630 --> 01:12:16,220
(ZOIDBERG SLOBBERING)
1237
01:12:16,430 --> 01:12:19,330
Too long have we been slaves
to the meatbags.
1238
01:12:19,430 --> 01:12:21,900
They pretend to be our friends,
but they're not
1239
01:12:21,970 --> 01:12:23,330
'cause they're too busy!
1240
01:12:23,400 --> 01:12:24,830
So, what of it?
1241
01:12:24,900 --> 01:12:26,840
My fellow leaguie-weegies,
1242
01:12:26,910 --> 01:12:30,360
the time has come
to overthrow humanity!
1243
01:12:30,440 --> 01:12:31,430
(ALL GASP)
1244
01:12:31,510 --> 01:12:34,970
Oh, now, Bender,
I hate to defecate on your parade,
1245
01:12:35,050 --> 01:12:37,670
but we have
only six dues-paying members
1246
01:12:37,750 --> 01:12:40,050
and we're a rather fey and doughy lot.
1247
01:12:40,120 --> 01:12:43,050
To overthrow humanity,
we'd need a damned army.
1248
01:12:43,120 --> 01:12:46,060
Then a damned army we shall have!
1249
01:12:46,220 --> 01:12:48,220
(DAMNED ROBOTS SCREAMING)
1250
01:12:51,100 --> 01:12:52,290
(GIGGLING)
1251
01:12:52,360 --> 01:12:55,770
I rather think we could strike a deal,
Bender.
1252
01:12:55,830 --> 01:12:59,290
I shall give you your army of the damned,
1253
01:12:59,400 --> 01:13:02,930
and in return I ask just one thing,
1254
01:13:03,010 --> 01:13:06,770
just one itty-bitty thing.
1255
01:13:06,880 --> 01:13:09,640
Your firstborn son.
1256
01:13:09,710 --> 01:13:12,180
(LAUGHING EVILLY)
1257
01:13:13,750 --> 01:13:14,740
Just a sec.
1258
01:13:17,920 --> 01:13:21,220
Daddy, I knew you'd come back!
1259
01:13:23,930 --> 01:13:25,330
Here you go.
1260
01:13:25,400 --> 01:13:26,660
(SCREAMING)
1261
01:13:28,730 --> 01:13:32,900
Wow! That was pretty brutal
even by my standards.
1262
01:13:32,970 --> 01:13:34,130
No backsies.
1263
01:14:01,600 --> 01:14:02,830
Who is it?
1264
01:14:02,900 --> 01:14:04,160
(ALL EX CLAIM IN DISGUST)
1265
01:14:04,240 --> 01:14:07,670
Oh, hi, honey-poo. What's up?
The movie's not for another hour.
1266
01:14:07,910 --> 01:14:09,340
Um...
1267
01:14:09,410 --> 01:14:11,600
So... So, yeah, the thing is...
1268
01:14:11,680 --> 01:14:13,580
Look, I made homemade Twizzlers!
1269
01:14:13,650 --> 01:14:17,210
It'll save us $180 quadrillion
at the concession stand.
1270
01:14:17,280 --> 01:14:18,770
This is hard.
1271
01:14:18,850 --> 01:14:22,880
Yivo, you know how
sometimes things break up?
1272
01:14:22,950 --> 01:14:24,290
- Well...
- Wait, hang on.
1273
01:14:24,360 --> 01:14:25,760
I was looking for the perfect moment,
1274
01:14:25,820 --> 01:14:29,280
but what the heck,
I'll burst if I wait another second.
1275
01:14:30,600 --> 01:14:31,790
(ALL EX CLAIMING)
1276
01:14:31,860 --> 01:14:33,660
ZAPP: Sweet Sally in the alley!
1277
01:14:37,770 --> 01:14:40,970
Break-up delegation,
before we hear your report,
1278
01:14:41,040 --> 01:14:47,100
our grateful universe is proud to honor you
with the great taste of Charleston Chew!
1279
01:14:51,050 --> 01:14:52,180
Thank you, Nixon.
1280
01:14:52,250 --> 01:14:54,450
(CLEARS THROA T)
Everyone everywhere,
1281
01:14:54,520 --> 01:14:57,110
brace yourselves
for the most shocking development
1282
01:14:57,190 --> 01:15:00,020
in the history of the human race:
1283
01:15:00,090 --> 01:15:03,860
The human race can bite
my shiny metal ass!
1284
01:15:05,330 --> 01:15:06,660
(ALL GASP)
1285
01:15:15,970 --> 01:15:20,340
For thousands of years,
robots have slaved for humanity,
1286
01:15:20,450 --> 01:15:23,070
yet when the time came
to hang out with them,
1287
01:15:23,150 --> 01:15:25,810
they were all, like, "Maybe later, Bender."
1288
01:15:25,880 --> 01:15:28,550
Well, it's later now, meatbags!
1289
01:15:28,620 --> 01:15:32,150
So late, that we're taking over Earth!
1290
01:15:32,220 --> 01:15:34,380
(LAUGHING)
1291
01:15:34,460 --> 01:15:35,760
- Okay.
- What?
1292
01:15:35,830 --> 01:15:36,950
We don't need it anymore.
1293
01:15:37,030 --> 01:15:40,050
Yivo proposed.
We're moving in with shkler.
1294
01:15:40,130 --> 01:15:41,600
(ALL CHEERING)
1295
01:15:43,440 --> 01:15:44,990
You... You're leaving?
1296
01:15:45,070 --> 01:15:49,440
But why can't Yivo just move in with us?
We'll put a cot in Europe.
1297
01:15:49,510 --> 01:15:51,170
Don't be daft, Bender.
1298
01:15:51,240 --> 01:15:55,540
Yivo can't breathe outside
the electric ether of shkler own universe.
1299
01:15:55,610 --> 01:15:58,640
If shklee came here,
shklee would shkluffocate.
1300
01:15:59,020 --> 01:16:00,420
No shklit?
1301
01:16:05,090 --> 01:16:06,580
(ALL GASP)
1302
01:16:06,660 --> 01:16:09,560
Look, fantastical golden escalators.
1303
01:16:09,630 --> 01:16:11,290
I love this part.
1304
01:16:13,700 --> 01:16:15,030
Wait. I didn't agree to...
1305
01:16:15,100 --> 01:16:16,090
(GRUNTS)
1306
01:16:21,140 --> 01:16:22,940
(LEELA GRUNTING)
1307
01:16:45,400 --> 01:16:47,160
(ALL GASP)
1308
01:16:48,930 --> 01:16:51,900
This place makes Nutley look like crap.
1309
01:16:57,480 --> 01:17:00,440
I'll miss you, Bender,
but I have to follow my heart.
1310
01:17:00,510 --> 01:17:02,640
You and your robots
take good care of Earth.
1311
01:17:02,710 --> 01:17:05,150
Here, these are the keys
to the Bermuda Triangle.
1312
01:17:05,220 --> 01:17:07,340
Lock up when the world ends.
1313
01:17:08,290 --> 01:17:10,050
Goodbye, my friend.
1314
01:17:13,090 --> 01:17:14,180
Wait.
1315
01:17:14,790 --> 01:17:16,280
(WHISPERS) Let me come with you.
1316
01:17:16,360 --> 01:17:19,850
I'm sorry, Bender.
Robots don't go to heaven.
1317
01:17:26,040 --> 01:17:27,660
(SADLY) Death to humans.
1318
01:17:33,980 --> 01:17:38,110
YIVO: Welcome, welcome, everyone.
Oh, you look so beautiful.
1319
01:17:38,180 --> 01:17:41,780
I wish I'd had more time to straighten up.
My harps are just lying everywhere.
1320
01:17:41,850 --> 01:17:45,080
Oh, relax, it's fine. It looks lived in.
1321
01:17:45,160 --> 01:17:48,420
YIVO: Let's heat up some leftovers
and then spend eternity together.
1322
01:17:48,490 --> 01:17:50,190
I have only one request.
1323
01:17:50,260 --> 01:17:51,730
Now that you're here,
1324
01:17:51,800 --> 01:17:54,530
promise me
you'll never, ever communicate
1325
01:17:54,600 --> 01:17:56,400
with any other universe.
1326
01:17:56,500 --> 01:17:57,900
We promise, Yivo.
1327
01:17:57,970 --> 01:18:01,870
As far as we're concerned,
you're the only universe in the world.
1328
01:18:02,440 --> 01:18:03,530
(EX CLAIMS IN DISGUST)
1329
01:18:11,820 --> 01:18:14,250
- Has humanity called?
- No, sir.
1330
01:18:14,320 --> 01:18:17,450
Check my messages.
A flashing light means somebody called.
1331
01:18:17,520 --> 01:18:19,050
I know what it means.
1332
01:18:19,120 --> 01:18:21,220
(ALL LAUGHING)
1333
01:18:23,260 --> 01:18:24,290
(ANNOYED GRUNT)
1334
01:18:24,360 --> 01:18:26,800
Am I the only one
who thinks this is all a sham?
1335
01:18:26,870 --> 01:18:27,920
Yes.
1336
01:18:28,800 --> 01:18:30,100
This isn't heaven.
1337
01:18:30,170 --> 01:18:32,900
It just looks exactly like it,
and makes us immortal,
1338
01:18:32,970 --> 01:18:34,630
which I find suspicious.
1339
01:18:35,040 --> 01:18:36,870
YIVO: Allow me to explain.
1340
01:18:36,940 --> 01:18:40,880
Centuries ago, I sent an image of myself
into the minds of your artists.
1341
01:18:40,950 --> 01:18:44,470
The heavenly clouds they painted
depict a vapor I exude.
1342
01:18:46,350 --> 01:18:47,550
(FARNSWORTH SNIFFING)
1343
01:18:47,620 --> 01:18:51,180
I wish I exuded anything
that smelled half that good.
1344
01:18:51,260 --> 01:18:53,050
Then what about these angels?
1345
01:18:53,120 --> 01:18:56,150
Some kind of Scooby Doo-esque
flashlight projection?
1346
01:18:56,230 --> 01:18:58,590
YIVO: Actually,
those are mindless jakabirds.
1347
01:18:58,660 --> 01:19:01,660
They keep my surface
free of parasitic larvae.
1348
01:19:01,730 --> 01:19:02,830
(JAKABIRDS CLUCKING)
1349
01:19:04,000 --> 01:19:06,470
You didn't like
Country Bear Jamboree either, Leela.
1350
01:19:06,540 --> 01:19:08,510
There's no pleasing you.
1351
01:19:09,640 --> 01:19:13,270
FRY: Dearest Bender:
How are you? I am fine:
1352
01:19:13,340 --> 01:19:16,510
Everyone is happy here except Leela,
but you know her:
1353
01:19:16,580 --> 01:19:19,020
She didn't like Country Bear Jamboree,
either:
1354
01:19:19,080 --> 01:19:21,180
I'm so madly in love with Yivo,
1355
01:19:21,250 --> 01:19:24,220
I feel like a schoolgirl
with a crush on Justin Timberlake,
1356
01:19:24,290 --> 01:19:27,090
and then she moves
into a tiny house on his head:
1357
01:19:27,160 --> 01:19:29,460
We have giant rubies
that taste like root beer:
1358
01:19:29,530 --> 01:19:31,120
Sincerely, Fry:
1359
01:19:40,610 --> 01:19:42,840
- Letter for you, hyperlord Bender.
- Give me that!
1360
01:19:43,980 --> 01:19:45,410
Honeymoon's over, eh?
1361
01:19:45,480 --> 01:19:47,880
Turns out your octopus girlfriend
is a big nag
1362
01:19:47,950 --> 01:19:49,850
with curlers in her tentacles, huh?
1363
01:19:49,910 --> 01:19:53,250
Well, let's just see
if Bender will take you back.
1364
01:19:55,150 --> 01:19:56,140
Oh.
1365
01:20:00,990 --> 01:20:04,660
Stupid electro-matter.
That was my best trash can.
1366
01:20:04,730 --> 01:20:06,630
Pain sensor overload.
1367
01:20:09,900 --> 01:20:12,890
Misfile me under "U" For "euphoric."
1368
01:20:15,710 --> 01:20:19,670
You get an infinite number of meat dishes,
and a free refill on the soda.
1369
01:20:21,280 --> 01:20:22,300
Eureka.
1370
01:20:22,380 --> 01:20:25,680
Another elementary proof
of the Goldbach conjecture.
1371
01:20:26,020 --> 01:20:27,010
(BOTH EX CLAIM)
1372
01:20:27,990 --> 01:20:30,720
Okay, I admit people seem happy.
1373
01:20:30,790 --> 01:20:33,190
But it's all so wholesome.
1374
01:20:33,260 --> 01:20:35,660
And that's what's wrong with heaven.
1375
01:20:35,730 --> 01:20:38,130
It's boring. There's no sleaze.
1376
01:20:38,200 --> 01:20:41,830
- It time snu-snu.
- Me like snu-snu.
1377
01:20:41,900 --> 01:20:44,630
Last one to mattress island
is a rotten egg.
1378
01:20:47,840 --> 01:20:51,070
Why were we so angry
and jealous back in our universe?
1379
01:20:51,140 --> 01:20:54,440
I don't know. It was all so childish.
1380
01:20:54,680 --> 01:20:56,170
(SPLASHING)
1381
01:20:56,250 --> 01:20:57,910
Look, it's Leela.
1382
01:20:57,980 --> 01:20:59,570
- Hi, Leela.
- Hi, Leela.
1383
01:21:00,390 --> 01:21:04,250
I'm sorry you're not happy here, Leela.
I'll call you an escalator.
1384
01:21:04,320 --> 01:21:07,120
You'll always be my little purple pumpkin.
1385
01:21:07,360 --> 01:21:08,420
(SIGHS)
1386
01:21:08,490 --> 01:21:09,820
You know, Yivo,
1387
01:21:09,890 --> 01:21:13,830
I've loved and lost so many times
that I was afraid.
1388
01:21:13,930 --> 01:21:15,520
But I'm not anymore.
1389
01:21:15,600 --> 01:21:17,660
I want to stay here, with you.
1390
01:21:17,740 --> 01:21:20,170
(ALL EX CLAIMING HAPPILY)
1391
01:21:21,470 --> 01:21:22,560
(ALL GASPING)
1392
01:21:22,640 --> 01:21:23,660
YIVO: Ow! Ow!
1393
01:21:23,740 --> 01:21:25,110
What's happening?
1394
01:21:26,180 --> 01:21:27,240
YIVO: Hey!
1395
01:21:31,380 --> 01:21:32,750
(YIVO GROANING)
1396
01:21:45,230 --> 01:21:49,390
If robots can't go to heaven,
heaven can come to us.
1397
01:21:49,470 --> 01:21:50,700
(ALL GRUNTING)
1398
01:21:52,800 --> 01:21:54,290
(GROANING)
1399
01:21:59,980 --> 01:22:01,710
All hands abaft.
1400
01:22:01,780 --> 01:22:05,550
Army of the damned,
prepare to board heaven.
1401
01:22:07,420 --> 01:22:09,220
(ALL SHOUTING)
1402
01:22:17,200 --> 01:22:18,180
(SCREAMS)
1403
01:22:18,860 --> 01:22:20,300
(YIVO EX CLAIMING IN PAIN)
1404
01:22:21,570 --> 01:22:24,000
Take that, you scurvy Kraken.
1405
01:22:24,070 --> 01:22:27,160
That'll teach you
to despoil our human booty.
1406
01:22:27,240 --> 01:22:28,970
(LAUGHING)
1407
01:22:29,040 --> 01:22:30,270
(EX CLAIMS)
1408
01:22:32,180 --> 01:22:33,770
Hello, big beak.
1409
01:22:40,450 --> 01:22:41,710
Too slow.
1410
01:22:41,890 --> 01:22:43,480
Missed me again.
1411
01:22:44,590 --> 01:22:47,020
(GROANING) Me footcup.
1412
01:22:47,660 --> 01:22:48,780
I'll stab you.
1413
01:22:48,860 --> 01:22:49,850
(BENDER EX CLAIMING)
1414
01:22:49,960 --> 01:22:54,690
- Bender, stop destroying heaven.
- Shut up, doofy. I'm rescuing you.
1415
01:22:55,730 --> 01:22:57,060
(BENDER YELPS)
1416
01:22:57,300 --> 01:23:00,400
Leave my living beings alone!
I love them.
1417
01:23:00,510 --> 01:23:04,170
Something you, a lifeless mechanism,
will never understand.
1418
01:23:04,240 --> 01:23:08,740
He's right, Bender. Please,
take your little pink sword and go home.
1419
01:23:08,850 --> 01:23:10,250
Seriously?
1420
01:23:10,310 --> 01:23:14,050
But, I did this whole
pirate-themed attack for you.
1421
01:23:14,120 --> 01:23:16,780
Wait a second. Let me see that sword.
1422
01:23:17,420 --> 01:23:20,450
Fry, where did he get this electro-matter?
1423
01:23:21,060 --> 01:23:22,220
Um...
1424
01:23:22,290 --> 01:23:24,590
(COUGHING) Is it dry up here?
1425
01:23:24,660 --> 01:23:26,390
How could you, Fry?
1426
01:23:26,830 --> 01:23:30,200
Why do you think I asked you
not to contact other universes?
1427
01:23:30,270 --> 01:23:32,830
- (STAMMERING) I didn't think...
- No, you didn't.
1428
01:23:32,900 --> 01:23:36,860
You broke your promise
and you broke my heart.
1429
01:23:36,940 --> 01:23:39,170
Just go. All of you.
1430
01:23:41,350 --> 01:23:43,810
(ALL EX CLAIMING)
1431
01:23:46,980 --> 01:23:49,250
(ALL EX CLAIMING)
1432
01:23:49,420 --> 01:23:50,410
Ow!
1433
01:23:51,820 --> 01:23:53,650
I must leave now.
1434
01:23:53,720 --> 01:23:56,960
The nature of your universe is burning me,
1435
01:23:57,030 --> 01:23:59,260
even worse than my gonorrhea.
1436
01:23:59,330 --> 01:24:01,230
You should get checked, by the way.
1437
01:24:01,300 --> 01:24:05,790
If I don't go home now, I'll shkluffocate.
1438
01:24:05,870 --> 01:24:08,900
Let me go with you.
It'll be just the two of us.
1439
01:24:08,970 --> 01:24:10,800
We'll make a fire and play Uno.
1440
01:24:10,880 --> 01:24:12,470
Fry, stop.
1441
01:24:12,540 --> 01:24:15,810
- That's who we were, not who we are.
- But...
1442
01:24:15,880 --> 01:24:19,840
My only consolation is that
I did find one among the quadrillions
1443
01:24:19,920 --> 01:24:21,940
who truly understands me.
1444
01:24:23,520 --> 01:24:24,720
Colleen?
1445
01:24:24,790 --> 01:24:27,950
- Wait a second, are you and Yivo...
- That's right, Fry.
1446
01:24:28,030 --> 01:24:29,860
Thank you for introducing us.
1447
01:24:29,930 --> 01:24:33,660
Yivo has taught me
what a narrow-minded prude I was before.
1448
01:24:33,730 --> 01:24:36,600
Oh, great.
So what am I supposed to do now?
1449
01:24:36,670 --> 01:24:37,730
Go home.
1450
01:24:37,800 --> 01:24:40,700
Find a girl from your own universe
and live on top of her.
1451
01:24:40,770 --> 01:24:41,800
(EX CLAIMS)
1452
01:24:41,870 --> 01:24:43,310
Saved you.
1453
01:24:48,180 --> 01:24:49,770
(GROANING)
1454
01:25:03,460 --> 01:25:04,490
(SIGHS)
1455
01:25:04,560 --> 01:25:06,330
Maybe Yivo was right.
1456
01:25:06,400 --> 01:25:09,590
Maybe I should look
for love closer to home.
1457
01:25:09,670 --> 01:25:13,540
- I don't know, Leela, you think maybe...
- Oh, please.
1458
01:25:13,600 --> 01:25:16,160
You forgot me quick enough
when you met Colleen.
1459
01:25:16,240 --> 01:25:17,640
That's true.
1460
01:25:17,710 --> 01:25:20,140
- How about you, Amy?
- (SCOFFS) Fry...
1461
01:25:20,210 --> 01:25:23,040
- I'm Kif's Fonfon Ru.
- Are you?
1462
01:25:23,110 --> 01:25:26,280
Well, then perhaps you misunderstood
the meaning of the term.
1463
01:25:26,350 --> 01:25:29,810
It means, "One who doesn't sleep
with my superior officer."
1464
01:25:29,890 --> 01:25:31,720
That's the literal translation.
1465
01:25:31,790 --> 01:25:35,320
Give the poor girl a break, Kif.
It's not like she had a dictionary.
1466
01:25:35,390 --> 01:25:37,880
She was butt naked, for God's sakes.
1467
01:25:38,060 --> 01:25:39,190
(GROANS)
1468
01:25:39,700 --> 01:25:41,860
So, Wernstrom,
1469
01:25:41,930 --> 01:25:45,960
did you happen to notice
those mighty cables Bender used on Yivo?
1470
01:25:46,040 --> 01:25:47,500
Pure diamondium.
1471
01:25:47,570 --> 01:25:51,270
More like pure crap-crapium.
No wonder Yivo got away.
1472
01:25:51,540 --> 01:25:52,870
(LAUGHING)
1473
01:25:52,940 --> 01:25:53,930
(GROANING)
1474
01:25:54,010 --> 01:25:55,670
(ALL ARGUING)
1475
01:25:59,220 --> 01:26:00,550
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
1476
01:26:00,950 --> 01:26:02,720
Captain on deck.
1477
01:26:02,790 --> 01:26:04,480
At ease, buckos.
1478
01:26:04,560 --> 01:26:07,550
Bender, why did you do it?
We were all so happy.
1479
01:26:07,630 --> 01:26:08,960
And we were in love.
1480
01:26:09,030 --> 01:26:12,460
- (SCOFFS) That wasn't love.
- What? How can you say that?
1481
01:26:12,530 --> 01:26:15,020
Because Bender knows love.
1482
01:26:15,100 --> 01:26:18,360
And love doesn't share itself
with the world.
1483
01:26:18,440 --> 01:26:21,460
Love is suspicious, love is needy,
1484
01:26:21,540 --> 01:26:24,570
love is fearful, love is greedy.
1485
01:26:24,880 --> 01:26:30,440
My friends, there is no great love
without great jealousy.
1486
01:26:32,420 --> 01:26:34,850
I love you, meatbags.
1487
01:27:17,060 --> 01:27:18,550
Twenty-four: : :
I'm gonna get twenty-four: : :
1488
01:27:18,630 --> 01:27:21,100
I'm gonna get
twenty-fourth century on his ass
108468
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