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1
00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:15,700
HERMES: Planet Express
delivery company roll call!
2
00:00:15,810 --> 00:00:18,440
- Captain Turanga Leela !
- Here!
3
00:00:18,550 --> 00:00:21,880
Delivery boy, first class, Philip J. Fry!
4
00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:23,690
Here!
5
00:00:23,790 --> 00:00:27,520
Assistant Manager of Sales,
Bender Bending Rodriguez!
6
00:00:27,630 --> 00:00:28,920
Here!
7
00:00:29,330 --> 00:00:31,420
Cerveza, por favor.
8
00:00:32,330 --> 00:00:34,850
Long-term intern, Amy Wong.
9
00:00:34,970 --> 00:00:36,020
Here!
10
00:00:36,130 --> 00:00:37,330
(SCREAMING)
11
00:00:37,430 --> 00:00:40,670
Company physician, Dr. John A. Zoidberg.
12
00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:42,700
I thought it was mine.
13
00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:46,040
Bureaucrat Grade 34, Hermes Conrad
14
00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:48,280
is who I am.
15
00:00:48,380 --> 00:00:52,870
And now I am proud to present
the owner and founder of Planet Express,
16
00:00:52,980 --> 00:00:56,210
Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth!
17
00:00:57,490 --> 00:00:58,720
You're all fired.
18
00:00:58,820 --> 00:00:59,790
(ALL EX CLAIMING)
19
00:00:59,890 --> 00:01:01,150
Sweet bongo of the Congo!
20
00:01:01,260 --> 00:01:04,190
In fact, you were fired two years ago.
21
00:01:04,300 --> 00:01:07,360
That's when we were shut down
by the delivery network.
22
00:01:10,330 --> 00:01:14,000
FARNSWORTH : Yes, I'm afraid the brainlessdrones who run the network
23
00:01:14,100 --> 00:01:15,730
canceled our license.
24
00:01:15,970 --> 00:01:19,640
(ALL BABBLING)
25
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,070
We were canceled?
26
00:01:21,180 --> 00:01:24,240
Oh, it's terrible. Just terrible.
27
00:01:24,350 --> 00:01:28,080
Well, clear out your desks
and move along. Chop-chop.
28
00:01:28,190 --> 00:01:30,020
(PHONE RINGING)
29
00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:32,680
Yes? I see.
30
00:01:34,530 --> 00:01:36,150
Good news, everyone!
31
00:01:36,260 --> 00:01:41,320
Those asinine morons who canceled us
were themselves fired for incompetence.
32
00:01:41,430 --> 00:01:43,090
(ALL CHEERING)
33
00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:47,690
And not just fired, but beaten up, too.
And pretty badly.
34
00:01:47,870 --> 00:01:49,770
(ALL CHEERING HALFHEARTEDLY)
35
00:01:49,870 --> 00:01:53,640
In fact, most of them died
from their injuries.
36
00:01:53,740 --> 00:01:55,300
(ALL MURMURING)
37
00:01:55,410 --> 00:01:56,610
(LAUGHING)
38
00:01:56,710 --> 00:02:01,120
And then they were ground up
into a fine pink powder.
39
00:02:01,220 --> 00:02:04,810
- Why?
- Oh, it's got a million and one uses.
40
00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:09,760
That soothes the fire.
41
00:02:10,030 --> 00:02:12,760
So what does this mean
for us and our many fans?
42
00:02:12,860 --> 00:02:15,330
It means we're back on the air!
43
00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:21,330
Yes, flying on the air
in our mighty spaceship.
44
00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:23,740
(ALL CHEERING)
45
00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:24,810
We're back, baby!
46
00:02:26,540 --> 00:02:27,980
Party!
47
00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:29,050
(LAUGHING)
48
00:02:29,150 --> 00:02:30,170
(EX CLAIMING)
49
00:02:32,020 --> 00:02:33,380
(RAZZING)
50
00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:37,850
(SCRATCHING)
51
00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:39,510
ALL: Go, go, go!
52
00:02:39,620 --> 00:02:41,180
Lower, lawn mower!
53
00:02:41,290 --> 00:02:44,520
What's the matter, robot?
You got a rod up your spine?
54
00:02:44,630 --> 00:02:47,060
Yes, I do. That's how I'm built.
55
00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:48,830
- SCRUFFY: Hooray.
- Way to bend it!
56
00:02:48,930 --> 00:02:51,090
You're the greatest, Bender!
57
00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:55,000
In Jamaica, we got
10-story office buildings lower than that.
58
00:02:55,110 --> 00:02:57,440
Let's see you beat it, Rasta man.
59
00:03:00,980 --> 00:03:04,570
Let's make it interesting.
Fetch down one of them sabers.
60
00:03:07,420 --> 00:03:10,480
Oh, flexible.
That would go good up my spine.
61
00:03:12,920 --> 00:03:15,920
(STEEL DRUMS
PLAYING SABRE DANCE)
62
00:03:17,330 --> 00:03:18,450
Lower.
63
00:03:20,660 --> 00:03:21,860
The fat guy wins!
64
00:03:21,970 --> 00:03:22,990
FRY: Go, Hermes!
65
00:03:23,100 --> 00:03:24,090
(ALL CHEERING)
66
00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:26,930
That's why they call me 11-inch Conrad.
67
00:03:28,510 --> 00:03:29,670
(EX CLAIMING)
68
00:03:30,170 --> 00:03:31,160
Oh, no.
69
00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:32,240
(MUSIC STOPS )
70
00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:46,550
(SIREN WAILING)
71
00:04:20,590 --> 00:04:21,790
(EX CLAIMING)
72
00:04:33,870 --> 00:04:35,810
(GROWLING)
73
00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:52,020
Can you save Hermes, Dr. Goodensexy?
74
00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:54,520
I told you, my name is Dr. Cahill.
75
00:04:54,630 --> 00:04:57,720
Figures I'd get mangled
while the blond bimbo's on duty.
76
00:04:57,830 --> 00:04:59,320
I'm a doctor, sir.
77
00:04:59,430 --> 00:05:01,800
The mere fact that I'm blond
and have a breathy voice,
78
00:05:01,900 --> 00:05:05,630
full sensual lips and a steaming hot body
doesn't make me a bimbo.
79
00:05:05,740 --> 00:05:07,330
Tell me about it.
80
00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:10,870
I think we've all learned a thing or two
about sexual stereotypes
81
00:05:10,970 --> 00:05:15,070
while my head's slowly dying
'cause I'm not in a jar yet, you bimbo!
82
00:05:15,180 --> 00:05:18,080
Oh, right. Ditzy-witzy!
83
00:05:18,180 --> 00:05:20,340
Lars, got another jar job!
84
00:05:21,650 --> 00:05:24,820
Oh, sorry, Doctor.
I was disinfecting Courtney Love...
85
00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:26,650
Oh, hello.
86
00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:29,160
What are you looking at? Is it the eye?
87
00:05:29,260 --> 00:05:30,450
Guilty as charged.
88
00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:32,690
It's a nice looking eye,
and there's plenty of it.
89
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:36,320
- Oh. Do I know you?
- Apparently not.
90
00:05:36,430 --> 00:05:39,800
- Hi. I'm Lars.
- Oh. I'm Leela.
91
00:05:39,900 --> 00:05:42,100
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to be met.
92
00:05:42,210 --> 00:05:43,230
(BOTH LAUGHING)
93
00:05:43,340 --> 00:05:46,540
Pick up ladies on your own time,
you shiny-headed goat.
94
00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:51,080
Sir, you're just a little enraged
'cause you're dying. Up and away!
95
00:05:53,780 --> 00:05:56,120
Lars is so flirting with you.
96
00:05:56,620 --> 00:05:59,450
He is so not. He's just being polite.
97
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,820
Who does he think he is,
being polite to you?
98
00:06:01,930 --> 00:06:05,660
- You want me to beat him up?
- No. Stop being so immature.
99
00:06:06,230 --> 00:06:08,390
I'll show her who's immature.
100
00:06:10,170 --> 00:06:13,600
"Charles de Gaulle"? Never heard of you.
101
00:06:13,700 --> 00:06:15,900
I freed France from the Nazis and...
102
00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:20,440
(IMITATING FRENCH ACCENT)
Hey, Leela. I'm some French guy.
103
00:06:20,540 --> 00:06:22,600
Rock that Frenchman, baby!
104
00:06:23,310 --> 00:06:26,510
Oh, my poor little love pirate
of the Caribbean.
105
00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:28,940
(SOBBING)
106
00:06:29,190 --> 00:06:31,020
There, there, wife. Everything will be all...
107
00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:33,610
Okay, look, Hermes,
we got to think of the boy.
108
00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:36,090
- He needs a daddy.
- He has a daddy.
109
00:06:36,190 --> 00:06:38,460
No, he got two half-daddies.
110
00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:41,900
- Will his body be all right?
- Yes, but it may take a few days.
111
00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,760
No, not soon enough.
112
00:06:43,870 --> 00:06:46,430
Come, Dwight,
let's find you a handsome new father.
113
00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:48,300
LaBarbara, no!
114
00:06:48,470 --> 00:06:49,940
(SOBBING)
115
00:06:50,070 --> 00:06:53,510
It's okay, Hermes. We're all here for you.
116
00:06:53,610 --> 00:06:55,600
Good news, everyone!
117
00:06:55,710 --> 00:06:59,170
We've got a delivery
to the nude beach planet.
118
00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:00,650
(ALL CHEERING)
119
00:07:00,750 --> 00:07:02,050
So long, jerk.
120
00:07:11,430 --> 00:07:15,300
It feels great to be back at the wheel
after two long years.
121
00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:17,330
That's not the wheel.
122
00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:23,740
(ALL SCREAMING)
123
00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:38,590
It's nice out.
124
00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:47,130
"You must be at least this naked"?
125
00:07:47,230 --> 00:07:48,930
How much nakeder could you be?
126
00:07:49,030 --> 00:07:50,590
Watch and learn.
127
00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:54,860
(WHOOPING)
128
00:07:54,970 --> 00:07:55,960
(RETCHING)
129
00:08:06,180 --> 00:08:08,670
- You know, it's funny.
- What?
130
00:08:08,790 --> 00:08:10,180
Your wiener!
131
00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:12,550
(LAUGHING)
132
00:08:12,660 --> 00:08:16,490
Well, I'm going in the water
to prune up a bit before I strut.
133
00:08:16,590 --> 00:08:18,320
- Who's with me?
- I'm in!
134
00:08:18,430 --> 00:08:19,400
- I'm in.
- Yeah, I'll go.
135
00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:20,490
You guys go ahead.
136
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:23,860
I gotta find the bartender
and deliver this box of barstool softener.
137
00:08:28,740 --> 00:08:30,040
Here's your package, sir.
138
00:08:30,140 --> 00:08:33,600
- Why are you talking to my penis?
- Oh, sorry. Sign here.
139
00:08:33,710 --> 00:08:36,200
- Mind if I use your pen?
- Well, that's not a...
140
00:08:36,310 --> 00:08:37,300
(FRY SCREAMING)
141
00:08:37,410 --> 00:08:38,470
And initial here.
142
00:08:38,580 --> 00:08:40,240
(FRY SCREAMING)
143
00:08:40,350 --> 00:08:42,550
Thank you for using Planet Express.
144
00:08:42,650 --> 00:08:46,320
Hey, Fry, I didn't know
you had a tattoo of Bender on your ass.
145
00:08:46,420 --> 00:08:47,790
Me, neither.
146
00:08:48,860 --> 00:08:50,690
You got a tattoo of me?
147
00:08:50,790 --> 00:08:53,390
Neat. It's like looking in a smelly mirror.
148
00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:56,470
So he's got a little ink. Big whoop.
149
00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:07,030
Sweet photons.
150
00:09:07,140 --> 00:09:11,210
I don't know if you're waves or particles,
but you go down smooth.
151
00:09:11,310 --> 00:09:13,650
Sir, would you care to sign our petition?
152
00:09:13,750 --> 00:09:18,740
I support and oppose many things,
but not strongly enough to pick up a pen.
153
00:09:18,860 --> 00:09:19,840
That's just what the guys
154
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:22,520
who oppose the things
you support want you to do.
155
00:09:22,630 --> 00:09:24,990
Really? Down with those guys!
156
00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:29,200
And we'll need your e-mail address.
157
00:09:30,100 --> 00:09:32,730
They say you shouldn't give out
your e-mail address.
158
00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:36,000
Right. That's just
what those same guys say.
159
00:09:36,110 --> 00:09:37,510
Them again?
160
00:09:40,310 --> 00:09:42,900
(PURRING)
161
00:09:43,550 --> 00:09:46,980
I don't quite understand
what this petition's about.
162
00:09:48,050 --> 00:09:49,280
Animals?
163
00:09:51,460 --> 00:09:53,860
And your e-mail address.
164
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:58,620
- You won't send me any spam, will you?
- Oh, no, no, no, no.
165
00:09:58,730 --> 00:09:59,990
(UNDER BREATH) Asterisk.
166
00:10:00,900 --> 00:10:02,690
COMPUTER : You've got spam.
167
00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:05,630
Spam, spam, junk.
168
00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:09,530
The very last pygmy rhino
is going extinct?
169
00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:12,070
Unless it gets my credit card number?
170
00:10:12,180 --> 00:10:14,140
Spam. Spam.
171
00:10:15,010 --> 00:10:18,740
"Hi. How are you?"
Oh, that must be from Kiffy.
172
00:10:18,850 --> 00:10:20,320
COMPUTER : Hi, how are you?
173
00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:22,940
Low, low priceson erectile dysfunction remedies,
174
00:10:23,050 --> 00:10:26,220
sleeping pills, old-person drugs,and antidepressants.
175
00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:27,880
Antidepressants?
176
00:10:28,330 --> 00:10:30,420
Well, I certainly don't want
to get depressed.
177
00:10:30,530 --> 00:10:32,220
Please enter credit card number.
178
00:10:32,330 --> 00:10:33,760
Is cash okay?
179
00:10:35,830 --> 00:10:36,860
(BURPING)
180
00:10:37,030 --> 00:10:39,590
Porn. Porn. Free porn.
181
00:10:39,970 --> 00:10:42,030
(BENDER READING)
182
00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:44,760
I find that rather hard to believe.
183
00:10:44,980 --> 00:10:47,910
(BENDER READING)
184
00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:53,920
"Top-quality."
185
00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:55,310
(ALARM BLARING)
186
00:10:55,420 --> 00:10:57,910
(BENDER READING)
187
00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:01,090
I'm waiting for porn over here.
188
00:11:01,630 --> 00:11:03,590
Oh, yeah, come on, baby.
189
00:11:04,460 --> 00:11:05,860
(COUGHING)
190
00:11:11,700 --> 00:11:12,730
(PANTING)
191
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:14,270
Friends, friends!
192
00:11:14,370 --> 00:11:18,640
His Majesty Prince Adisaraki O. Zoidberg
of Nigeria died.
193
00:11:18,740 --> 00:11:20,210
That's so sad.
194
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:22,000
(SOBBING)
195
00:11:22,110 --> 00:11:24,840
When will those antidepressants get here?
196
00:11:24,950 --> 00:11:26,310
Wait, there's more.
197
00:11:26,420 --> 00:11:30,080
According to this e-mail,
I, Zoidberg, am his next of kin.
198
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:33,640
Once I wire some good-faith money
to an overseas bank account,
199
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:38,290
I'll inherit his kingdom,
his canoe, and his plump young wife.
200
00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:41,890
You dumb stumps.
Don't you realize you're being scammed?
201
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,800
That is low, Hermes.
202
00:11:43,900 --> 00:11:45,530
Just because you don't have a body,
203
00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:48,540
you don't want anyone else
to be prince of Nigeria.
204
00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:51,570
Well, try and stop me
from wiring that money.
205
00:11:51,740 --> 00:11:53,540
(WHOOPING)
206
00:11:54,210 --> 00:11:55,700
What's going on here?
207
00:11:55,810 --> 00:11:58,610
According to
my illegal key logging software,
208
00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:02,240
you've all been giving out
personal information over the Internet.
209
00:12:02,350 --> 00:12:05,150
If Hermes were here, he'd fire you all.
210
00:12:05,260 --> 00:12:07,160
- I am here.
- Quiet, you.
211
00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:11,890
In his absence, I'm calling
a mandatory company security seminar.
212
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:13,430
To the mandatorium !
213
00:12:16,130 --> 00:12:19,530
Now, it's not hard to spot
a phony Internet come-on.
214
00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:23,600
"Get rich quick x7 q"? Phony.
215
00:12:23,970 --> 00:12:27,740
"Lose weight with space parasites"?
Phony.
216
00:12:28,750 --> 00:12:33,150
What's this?
I've won the Spanish National Lottery?
217
00:12:33,250 --> 00:12:34,650
No, it's a scam !
218
00:12:34,750 --> 00:12:39,920
Yes, yes, a scam. My goodness, I'm rich!
219
00:12:40,020 --> 00:12:43,250
And to think I didn't even know
I had a ticket.
220
00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:46,490
I just need to wire some collateral
to collect the winnings.
221
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:49,620
Professor, stop!
You're giving away personal information!
222
00:12:49,730 --> 00:12:54,930
I can afford to give away anything I want.
I've won the Spanish National Lottery.
223
00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:56,200
- No, don't!
- It's a scam !
224
00:12:56,310 --> 00:12:58,500
Why won't anybody listen to me?
225
00:12:58,610 --> 00:13:03,340
And my mother's maiden name
and her bank account numbers and...
226
00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:04,610
There!
227
00:13:05,150 --> 00:13:08,950
I'm rich. Rich. Rich!
228
00:13:09,050 --> 00:13:10,080
(DOORBELL RINGING)
229
00:13:10,190 --> 00:13:12,620
That must be my $400 now.
230
00:13:14,190 --> 00:13:18,590
Hello. Or should I say, "Buenos días"?
231
00:13:18,700 --> 00:13:20,860
Hi. We own your company now.
232
00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:22,300
(EX CLAIMING)
233
00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:27,030
I'll deal with these guys.
234
00:13:27,740 --> 00:13:28,830
Welcome, boss.
235
00:13:28,940 --> 00:13:30,410
(ALL EX CLAIMING)
236
00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:33,430
Guess I was wrong.
237
00:13:33,540 --> 00:13:36,380
There was a robot stupid enough
to download the obedience virus.
238
00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:39,040
I sure was. Make a hole, chumps.
239
00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:43,810
(IMITATING TRUMPET FANFARE)
240
00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:46,790
Presenting our new masters!
241
00:13:58,170 --> 00:14:01,300
Where shall I put these auto-dialers,
kind master?
242
00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:04,270
Between the password crank
and the spamjaculator.
243
00:14:04,370 --> 00:14:06,810
Come on!
We've got a whole planet to scam.
244
00:14:06,910 --> 00:14:08,470
And bring me some more Gummi Fungus!
245
00:14:09,850 --> 00:14:11,180
(SQUEAKING)
246
00:14:12,620 --> 00:14:16,050
We don't have to stand here
and take abuse from a gross nerd.
247
00:14:16,150 --> 00:14:17,310
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
248
00:14:17,420 --> 00:14:18,580
(SHOUTING)
249
00:14:23,230 --> 00:14:24,280
(GIGGLING)
250
00:14:24,390 --> 00:14:26,450
Now get back to work, you turkeys.
251
00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:28,160
Planet Express is still in business.
252
00:14:28,260 --> 00:14:32,100
We've got crap loads of
quote-unquote merchandise to deliver.
253
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:35,960
Ship them out, Your Highness.
254
00:14:36,070 --> 00:14:38,300
Finally, some respect.
255
00:14:41,780 --> 00:14:43,710
I feel a little better.
256
00:14:48,450 --> 00:14:51,390
Those marvelous scammers
sure scammed us, huh?
257
00:14:51,490 --> 00:14:54,180
How can you just sit there
kissing the aliens' butt flaps?
258
00:14:54,290 --> 00:14:57,380
Don't you realize
you are totally under their control?
259
00:14:57,490 --> 00:15:00,760
Of course I realize it.
Does that mean I can't enjoy it?
260
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:03,800
Boy, were we suckers.
261
00:15:05,140 --> 00:15:06,690
Greetings, earthlings.
262
00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:11,000
Oh, hooray.
It's handsome Lars and his fabulous jars.
263
00:15:11,110 --> 00:15:12,770
Hello, everyone who isn't Leela.
264
00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:14,900
And a special hello to everyone else.
265
00:15:15,010 --> 00:15:16,000
(GIGGLING)
266
00:15:16,110 --> 00:15:18,140
Shut your lockers and get to class.
267
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:21,550
- How's my body doing?
- Oh, I'm afraid it's behind schedule.
268
00:15:21,650 --> 00:15:23,810
The museum got tricked
into giving all its funding
269
00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:26,650
to something called
the Scamming Sciences Institute.
270
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:27,850
(GIGGLING)
271
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:29,420
It's a fake place.
272
00:15:29,530 --> 00:15:32,760
Cut to the chase, baldy.
When do I get my me back?
273
00:15:32,860 --> 00:15:35,420
Well, it could be months, or even years.
274
00:15:35,530 --> 00:15:38,400
No! That body's
the cornerstone of my marriage.
275
00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:40,160
What's LaBarbara going to do?
276
00:15:41,370 --> 00:15:43,170
She's going to go back
to her first husband.
277
00:15:43,270 --> 00:15:46,270
Barbados Slim? I love that guy.
278
00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:49,880
Everybody loves Slim.
279
00:15:49,980 --> 00:15:52,280
He's the only man to ever win
Olympic gold medals
280
00:15:52,380 --> 00:15:54,410
in both limbo and sex.
281
00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:56,180
Well, maybe I should get going.
282
00:15:56,290 --> 00:16:00,280
- Yes, I'll show you out.
- No, Leela will show him out.
283
00:16:00,390 --> 00:16:02,520
No, Leela will show you out.
284
00:16:02,890 --> 00:16:04,190
Me. Leela.
285
00:16:05,430 --> 00:16:07,760
So your friend, Fry, seems nice.
286
00:16:07,860 --> 00:16:09,420
- Are you and he dating?
- Nope.
287
00:16:09,530 --> 00:16:12,660
Good, because I was maybe thinking
of asking you out for dinner.
288
00:16:13,870 --> 00:16:17,830
I'll start maybe thinking about saying,
"Sure, when?"
289
00:16:17,940 --> 00:16:19,700
Let me maybe give it some thought.
290
00:16:19,810 --> 00:16:20,940
(BOTH LAUGHING)
291
00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:23,040
- Tomorrow at 8:00?
- Okay.
292
00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:31,980
It's no fair. I've loved Leela
since the day I came to the future.
293
00:16:32,090 --> 00:16:34,520
Did I show you the macaroni valentine
I made for her?
294
00:16:34,620 --> 00:16:35,610
Yes.
295
00:16:35,730 --> 00:16:37,120
Look at it again.
296
00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:40,820
I know she thinks I'm immature,
but someday I won't be.
297
00:16:40,930 --> 00:16:44,160
And deep down in my heart,
I know we'll end up together.
298
00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:46,600
It's all there in the macaroni.
299
00:16:46,700 --> 00:16:48,360
Lars asked me out.
300
00:16:53,010 --> 00:16:55,570
(ALL SNIFFING)
301
00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:59,810
- What are you doing, wonderful masters?
- Sprunjing for information.
302
00:17:04,490 --> 00:17:05,650
(EX CLAIMING)
303
00:17:07,620 --> 00:17:10,530
Oh! There's something here.
I can sprunje it.
304
00:17:11,130 --> 00:17:12,960
Robot, tear it open!
305
00:17:13,060 --> 00:17:15,160
Goody, goody, goody, goody!
306
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:24,200
- What's that thing on your neck?
- Checking out my sprunjer, huh?
307
00:17:24,310 --> 00:17:26,140
I guess. What does it do?
308
00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:29,180
It's a special sense organ
our species possesses.
309
00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:31,470
It engorges in the presence of...
310
00:17:32,750 --> 00:17:34,180
Information.
311
00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:35,340
Lucky you.
312
00:17:35,450 --> 00:17:39,580
All I have is a gland
that gives off foul odors when I'm bored.
313
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:41,210
(SPRAYING)
314
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:43,720
(ALL GROANING)
315
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:47,800
Hey, look, a safe!
316
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:50,960
That's my safe. I call keep-offsies.
317
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:52,690
No callsies! Open it!
318
00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:53,790
(BLOWING)
319
00:17:57,810 --> 00:18:01,240
It's a gold mine.
Tax forms, Social Security cards.
320
00:18:02,050 --> 00:18:04,610
Combination hair, blood
and stool samples.
321
00:18:05,150 --> 00:18:08,350
(ALL MOANING)
322
00:18:08,450 --> 00:18:11,680
I don't get it. How can you say Lars
is more mature than me?
323
00:18:11,790 --> 00:18:14,810
Well, for one thing,
his checkbook doesn't have the Hulk on it.
324
00:18:15,020 --> 00:18:19,460
(ALL MOANING)
325
00:18:20,260 --> 00:18:22,890
- Who are you?
- Philip J. Fry.
326
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:27,130
Social Security Number 03280810?
Stool type, P-negative?
327
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:28,640
That's right.
328
00:18:28,740 --> 00:18:31,610
I've never detected
so much information before.
329
00:18:31,710 --> 00:18:33,800
I think it may be a Level 87 code.
330
00:18:33,910 --> 00:18:34,970
(CHATTERING)
331
00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:37,510
Level 87? Can it be?
332
00:18:37,610 --> 00:18:41,710
I thought it was only a legend,
but the sprunjer never lies.
333
00:18:42,420 --> 00:18:45,390
(MOANING)
334
00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:49,820
- It's in his pants!
- What the hell are you talking about?
335
00:18:59,700 --> 00:19:00,900
Faster, faster!
336
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:03,630
I'm science-ing as fast as I can.
337
00:19:12,180 --> 00:19:14,310
What do you say, folks? Hot or not?
338
00:19:14,420 --> 00:19:17,720
I'm not seeing any information.
Do more things!
339
00:19:22,730 --> 00:19:24,190
(ALL EX CLAIMING)
340
00:19:24,290 --> 00:19:27,090
You, boogerbot,
read the code or I'll shoot this guy.
341
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:30,760
- Who the hell is he?
- I'm Scruffy, the janitor.
342
00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:32,390
Hang on, Scruffy!
343
00:19:32,500 --> 00:19:35,730
"Zero, zero, one, one, zero, zero, zero,
one, zero, zero, one, zero,
344
00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:38,710
"zero, one, one, one, one, zero,
one, zero, zero, zero, zero,
345
00:19:38,810 --> 00:19:42,180
"one, one, zero, one, one, zero,
one, one, one, zero, zero, one, one."
346
00:19:58,900 --> 00:20:00,450
A time sphere.
347
00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:02,760
Naked brothers, we have sprunjed
348
00:20:02,870 --> 00:20:05,930
upon the universal machine
language time code.
349
00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:08,330
The key to time travel.
350
00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:09,930
(ALL EX CLAIMING)
351
00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:13,030
What's the secret of time travel doing
on Fry's ass?
352
00:20:13,140 --> 00:20:14,770
It was bound to be somewhere.
353
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:19,110
Beyond this shimmering portal lie
all the glories of history.
354
00:20:19,220 --> 00:20:20,440
And we can steal them !
355
00:20:20,550 --> 00:20:24,420
We just go to the past and take stuff
with our superior weapons!
356
00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:28,080
(ALL LAUGHING)
357
00:20:29,690 --> 00:20:31,250
Stop, you fools.
358
00:20:32,330 --> 00:20:34,230
- What's going on?
- What is happening?
359
00:20:34,330 --> 00:20:36,760
Nibbler, you... You can talk?
360
00:20:36,870 --> 00:20:39,960
I can do more than talk. I can pontificate.
361
00:20:40,070 --> 00:20:42,230
You must not use the code of codes.
362
00:20:42,340 --> 00:20:46,040
With each and every use,
you risk tearing the universe asunder.
363
00:20:46,140 --> 00:20:48,870
Oh, he's so adorable.
364
00:20:49,050 --> 00:20:50,770
The poodle-monkey may be right.
365
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:54,320
The legend warns that the code is
powerful and dangerous.
366
00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:56,010
My God.
367
00:20:56,120 --> 00:20:58,680
We'd better use it only three or four times.
Six, max.
368
00:20:58,790 --> 00:21:01,280
But even a single use could shatter
the universe.
369
00:21:01,390 --> 00:21:03,420
Got it. Two or three times.
370
00:21:03,530 --> 00:21:05,860
I see I have no choice.
371
00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:08,760
Nibblonians, attack!
372
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,260
(ALL EX CLAIMING)
373
00:21:16,070 --> 00:21:17,870
Hey! That tickles.
374
00:21:22,550 --> 00:21:24,100
And the pitch!
375
00:21:25,550 --> 00:21:27,410
Mayday, mayday!
376
00:21:37,060 --> 00:21:38,690
Hey! Hey! Hey!
377
00:21:41,130 --> 00:21:42,960
NIBBLONIAN: Scamper!
378
00:21:48,910 --> 00:21:54,670
Alas, our kitten-class attack ships
were no match for their mighty chairs.
379
00:21:54,780 --> 00:21:57,540
The universe is doomed. Doomed!
380
00:21:57,650 --> 00:21:59,310
Can I pull up my pants now?
381
00:21:59,420 --> 00:22:01,510
Doomed!
382
00:22:06,690 --> 00:22:08,520
Stand back, you wing wangs.
383
00:22:08,620 --> 00:22:12,620
I'm gonna try out this time sphere
with a quick test drive to yesterday.
384
00:22:12,730 --> 00:22:17,860
Bushwa ! You can't go mucking about
in the past without creating paradoxes.
385
00:22:18,030 --> 00:22:21,970
I'm afraid he can.
It's a paradox-correcting time code.
386
00:22:22,070 --> 00:22:26,200
It all works perfectly.
Except when it rips open the universe!
387
00:22:26,310 --> 00:22:28,000
Don't do it. I beg you.
388
00:22:28,110 --> 00:22:31,010
(CHATTERING INAUDIBLY)
389
00:22:31,110 --> 00:22:33,780
Yesterday, please. And make it snappy!
390
00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:36,510
(ALL EX CLAIMING)
391
00:22:36,620 --> 00:22:38,110
- Hello!
- Howdy!
392
00:22:38,220 --> 00:22:39,450
- Say, what the...
- That's weird.
393
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:42,490
There was one, but now there's two.
394
00:22:42,590 --> 00:22:44,530
Nothing gets past you, eagle eye.
395
00:22:44,630 --> 00:22:48,320
I went back to last night
and met the "me" of that time for a drink.
396
00:22:48,430 --> 00:22:51,420
One thing led to another,
and we ended up at my place.
397
00:22:51,530 --> 00:22:54,330
Or should I say our place?
398
00:22:57,170 --> 00:22:59,140
Oh, come on, you bunch of prudes!
399
00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:03,010
This isn't merely revolting,
it's impossible to boot.
400
00:23:03,110 --> 00:23:05,910
I know a paradox when I see one.
401
00:23:09,750 --> 00:23:11,410
(ALL EX CLAIMING)
402
00:23:12,220 --> 00:23:15,660
Paradox resolved. Someone get a mop!
403
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:22,890
(STEEL DRUMS SOUNDING)
404
00:23:26,070 --> 00:23:27,300
You're looking well, Pops.
405
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:29,560
How can you look me in the eye-and-eye
and say that?
406
00:23:29,670 --> 00:23:33,470
I'm nothing but a brain.
A useless filthy brain!
407
00:23:33,580 --> 00:23:35,740
You forgot lice-infested.
408
00:23:35,850 --> 00:23:38,140
I didn't forget, I just chose not to...
409
00:23:38,380 --> 00:23:39,870
Barbados Slim?
410
00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:42,610
What are you doing here?
411
00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:45,080
Is there something going on
between you two?
412
00:23:45,190 --> 00:23:46,680
Oh, no. No, no, no.
413
00:23:46,790 --> 00:23:51,230
We just happened to run into each other
shortly after your accident.
414
00:23:51,330 --> 00:23:53,520
And every night since then.
415
00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:55,030
(BOTH LAUGHING)
416
00:23:55,130 --> 00:23:56,190
You're so crazy.
417
00:23:56,300 --> 00:23:58,100
Woman, no!
418
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:02,100
Oh, who am I kidding?
Without my body, I'm a nobody.
419
00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:08,470
I'm sorry, Hermes. But look at Barbados.
You can't argue with those luscious pecs.
420
00:24:08,580 --> 00:24:09,940
No, I can't.
421
00:24:10,050 --> 00:24:13,070
But I can ask him to stop wiggling them
in my face.
422
00:24:13,180 --> 00:24:16,880
I'm not wiggling them.
They do that by themselves.
423
00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:23,950
I think I'll go back in time and steal
the Liberty Bell before it cracked.
424
00:24:24,060 --> 00:24:27,760
- Or is the crack the valuable part?
- I don't know, you naked crook!
425
00:24:27,860 --> 00:24:30,960
We have a problem, Nudar.
It's a one-way time code.
426
00:24:31,070 --> 00:24:34,730
It can take us to the past,
but it can't bring us back to the present!
427
00:24:36,570 --> 00:24:39,670
Masters, if I might?
Let me do the stealing.
428
00:24:39,780 --> 00:24:43,800
I'll go to the past and snatch everything
I can get my greasy mitts on.
429
00:24:43,910 --> 00:24:47,580
Then, as a robot,
I can just wait it out for a few centuries
430
00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:50,020
in the limestone cavern
beneath this building.
431
00:24:50,120 --> 00:24:52,520
Oh, it'll be ever so much fun!
432
00:24:52,620 --> 00:24:54,020
Hey, that's perfect.
433
00:24:54,120 --> 00:24:56,960
We sit back and let
dumb-dumb here do the stealing.
434
00:24:57,060 --> 00:24:59,120
Dumb-dumb away!
435
00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:01,390
Zero, zero, one, one, zero, zero...
436
00:25:01,500 --> 00:25:02,520
(GASPING)
437
00:25:02,630 --> 00:25:04,360
(BENDER RECITING
TIME CODE QUICKLY)
438
00:25:04,470 --> 00:25:05,700
Yup!
439
00:25:09,140 --> 00:25:10,700
The Mona Lisa!
440
00:25:10,810 --> 00:25:12,570
Sorry, it's not quite finished.
441
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:14,070
Da Vinci give you any trouble?
442
00:25:14,180 --> 00:25:17,540
Let's just say he may not
make it to The Last Supper.
443
00:25:17,650 --> 00:25:18,770
(LAUGHING)
444
00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:22,440
Preposterous twaddlecock!
Time travel is impossible.
445
00:25:22,550 --> 00:25:24,280
But, Professor, you time-traveled yourself.
446
00:25:24,390 --> 00:25:26,320
Remember,
when we went back to Roswell?
447
00:25:26,420 --> 00:25:27,860
That proves nothing.
448
00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:31,190
And, furthermore, you'd think
I'd remember a thing like that.
449
00:25:31,290 --> 00:25:33,230
Plus, who are you, anyway?
450
00:25:33,330 --> 00:25:37,890
- Man, this is fun on a bun! Here I go again!
- Oh, no, you don't!
451
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:38,970
Zero, zero, one, one...
452
00:25:39,070 --> 00:25:40,660
(BENDER RECITING
TIME CODE QUICKLY)
453
00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:46,860
(ALL EX CLAIMING)
454
00:25:47,110 --> 00:25:49,630
Scarab, forearm, bird, bird, bird.
455
00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:54,250
(LAUGHING)
456
00:25:54,350 --> 00:25:56,320
No, it's just me, Bender.
457
00:25:58,820 --> 00:26:00,810
I must tell you, Hedonismbot,
458
00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:05,090
I hate to sell my doomsday devices
to a private collector.
459
00:26:05,190 --> 00:26:09,190
But with my business stolen,
I have to make ends meet.
460
00:26:09,300 --> 00:26:10,700
You will be careful?
461
00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:15,600
I shan't touch them till I've had Jambi
lock the absinthe and ether away.
462
00:26:15,700 --> 00:26:20,660
- Oh! What does this one do?
- That one kills everything everywhere.
463
00:26:21,310 --> 00:26:24,210
How delightful. And this one?
464
00:26:24,310 --> 00:26:27,150
Sir, the spheroboom is not for sale.
465
00:26:29,350 --> 00:26:31,720
It's my sentimental favorite.
466
00:26:32,350 --> 00:26:37,120
No need to explain.
I, too, have known unconventional love.
467
00:26:37,230 --> 00:26:40,290
Perhaps you and I and Jambi
could get together
468
00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:42,130
and compare notes sometime, eh?
469
00:26:42,360 --> 00:26:43,390
(CHUCKLING)
470
00:26:46,540 --> 00:26:50,940
Resulting in peace between
East and West Coast rappers...
471
00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:52,740
Good God!
472
00:26:53,140 --> 00:26:56,770
I accept this Nobel Peace Prize
not just for myself,
473
00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:59,850
but for crime robots everywhere. Skoal!
474
00:27:01,620 --> 00:27:02,640
(ALL CHEERING)
475
00:27:09,630 --> 00:27:10,720
(EX CLAIMING)
476
00:27:10,830 --> 00:27:12,950
Not so neutral now, are you, Sweden?
477
00:27:18,470 --> 00:27:20,630
(BENDER LAUGHING)
478
00:27:27,180 --> 00:27:29,700
Be honest with me.
Does my eye look monstery?
479
00:27:29,810 --> 00:27:32,080
I don't want to look monstery
for my date with Lars.
480
00:27:32,180 --> 00:27:34,120
At least a monster has a body.
481
00:27:34,220 --> 00:27:38,480
What I wouldn't give for Wolf Man's torso,
or any of the Groovie Goolies.
482
00:27:39,120 --> 00:27:43,080
I think I'll wear that slutty dress
I've been saving for Easter.
483
00:27:44,060 --> 00:27:47,930
I'd like to punch Lars right
in his ruggedly good-Iooking face.
484
00:27:48,660 --> 00:27:52,790
(SNORING)
485
00:27:53,300 --> 00:27:56,740
Like all rich people, we're gonna need
weapons to shoot poor people.
486
00:27:56,840 --> 00:27:59,100
- In self-defense?
- Yes, that, too.
487
00:27:59,210 --> 00:28:02,110
Bender, go steal the doomsday device
chained to the professor's wrist.
488
00:28:02,210 --> 00:28:03,300
Never!
489
00:28:03,750 --> 00:28:07,440
(LAUGHING) I'm kidding. You guys know
I have to do whatever you say.
490
00:28:07,550 --> 00:28:11,650
- Here, swap this for the real one.
- The old switcheroo.
491
00:28:11,750 --> 00:28:13,650
Yes, but don't wake him.
492
00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:16,120
You'll need jeweler's tools
and foot-cup silencers.
493
00:28:16,230 --> 00:28:18,820
Hey. I don't tell you how
to tell me what to do,
494
00:28:18,930 --> 00:28:21,830
so don't tell me how to do
what you tell me to do.
495
00:28:21,930 --> 00:28:24,870
Bender knows when to use finesse.
496
00:28:26,270 --> 00:28:29,140
- Here you go.
- Put it in the safe, clanky.
497
00:28:30,470 --> 00:28:31,460
(WINDOW BREAKING)
498
00:28:31,570 --> 00:28:32,600
(ZOIDBERG EX CLAIMING)
499
00:28:34,910 --> 00:28:36,610
It's the damnedest thing.
500
00:28:36,710 --> 00:28:40,310
There I was in the dumpster,
enjoying a moldy Fudgsicle,
501
00:28:40,420 --> 00:28:43,780
when suddenly your hand flies
over and slaps me in the toches.
502
00:28:43,890 --> 00:28:46,580
Yes, well, these things happen.
503
00:28:46,690 --> 00:28:50,250
Fortunately, the spheroboom is still safe.
504
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:56,900
Scammed? Me? Sweetheart?
505
00:28:57,000 --> 00:28:58,020
(GROANING)
506
00:28:59,030 --> 00:29:00,630
(GIGGLING)
507
00:29:00,740 --> 00:29:02,930
You do a nice hand job, Zoidberg.
508
00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:07,270
Tell me, if I could find an undamaged body,
could you recapitate me?
509
00:29:07,380 --> 00:29:09,000
Hermes, I'm a surgeon.
510
00:29:09,110 --> 00:29:10,410
When I see two body parts,
511
00:29:10,510 --> 00:29:13,240
I sew them together
and see what happens.
512
00:29:14,980 --> 00:29:16,850
All I'm asking is for you to go back in time
513
00:29:16,950 --> 00:29:19,550
to when I still had my body
and bring it back for me.
514
00:29:19,660 --> 00:29:22,950
- What do I do with your old head?
- I don't care in the slightest.
515
00:29:23,060 --> 00:29:24,220
Can do!
516
00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:30,230
- Come on, man!
- Hermes, please!
517
00:29:30,330 --> 00:29:32,730
You can't hurry
a delicate operation like this.
518
00:29:33,170 --> 00:29:34,260
(EX CLAIMING)
519
00:29:39,410 --> 00:29:40,930
What are those?
520
00:29:41,580 --> 00:29:43,640
You incompetent crab!
521
00:29:43,750 --> 00:29:46,940
I thought you were happy.
Your tail was wagging.
522
00:29:49,690 --> 00:29:51,880
(WHOOPING)
523
00:29:55,490 --> 00:29:59,720
I believe this paradoxicality
equation to be unsolvable.
524
00:29:59,830 --> 00:30:02,350
Ergo, time travel is impossible.
525
00:30:02,460 --> 00:30:04,520
But I can't quite prove it, Bubblegum.
526
00:30:04,630 --> 00:30:08,330
Perhaps you and your razzle-dazzle
Globetrotter calculus could...
527
00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:10,870
Looks pretty damn solvable to me, Farnsy.
528
00:30:10,970 --> 00:30:15,100
Sweet Clyde, use variation of parameters
and expand the Wronskian.
529
00:30:18,380 --> 00:30:22,150
(WHISTLING HARLEMGLOBETROTTERS THEME)
530
00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:28,050
Shizz, baby.
531
00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:31,850
So paradox-free time travel
is possible after all.
532
00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:34,760
Right on. But dig this multiplicand here.
533
00:30:34,860 --> 00:30:39,130
The "doom field"? That must be
what corrects the paradoxes.
534
00:30:39,230 --> 00:30:41,360
But that mama rises exponentially.
535
00:30:41,470 --> 00:30:44,410
It could rupture
the very fabric of causality.
536
00:30:44,510 --> 00:30:47,130
That's what I've been trying to tell you.
537
00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:48,900
(WHOOPING)
538
00:30:50,210 --> 00:30:51,540
(HERMES PANTING)
539
00:30:51,650 --> 00:30:53,810
Hermes! You got your body back.
540
00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:57,480
Yes, but not the original.
541
00:30:57,590 --> 00:30:59,880
Bender went back in time
and picked up a copy.
542
00:30:59,990 --> 00:31:02,580
A copy? Funky cold medina !
543
00:31:02,690 --> 00:31:05,420
According to this equation,
a time-travel duplicate
544
00:31:05,530 --> 00:31:09,120
results in a complex denominator
in the causality ratio.
545
00:31:09,230 --> 00:31:13,000
- Oh, snap! You know what that means.
- I can guess.
546
00:31:13,770 --> 00:31:15,570
Actually, I can't guess.
547
00:31:15,670 --> 00:31:18,400
Prof, you got a doom meter in this lab?
548
00:31:19,780 --> 00:31:21,500
(CRACKLING)
549
00:31:21,610 --> 00:31:23,270
Good Lord, Bubblegum.
550
00:31:23,380 --> 00:31:28,010
The duplicate body is emitting doom
at 10 times the background level.
551
00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:31,920
I thought as much.
A duplicate body is always doomed.
552
00:31:32,020 --> 00:31:33,540
It's just a matter of time.
553
00:31:33,660 --> 00:31:37,650
I don't care. I just need it long enough
to bird-dog in and win LaBarbara back.
554
00:31:37,760 --> 00:31:42,200
- Best bird-dog fast, my brother.
- That's the way I bird-dog best.
555
00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:47,470
(LAUGHING)
556
00:31:47,570 --> 00:31:50,000
Drink, quick!
I can't balance it much longer.
557
00:31:50,110 --> 00:31:51,570
Wait, I...
558
00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:53,200
Yes!
559
00:31:53,310 --> 00:31:55,440
Oh, this is so much fun, Lars.
560
00:31:55,540 --> 00:31:57,240
Most men are intimidated by the fact
561
00:31:57,350 --> 00:31:59,440
that I could kill them
with a flick of my wrist.
562
00:31:59,550 --> 00:32:02,450
Well, not me, 'cause if you do,
you'll be stuck with the check.
563
00:32:02,550 --> 00:32:03,810
(LAUGHING)
564
00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:06,410
Folks, you care for
a little fresh ground Executive?
565
00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:08,110
Please.
566
00:32:16,770 --> 00:32:20,530
Don't get excited, kids.
This thing's got heart-shaped nostrils.
567
00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:21,830
Want to see it make a star?
568
00:32:21,940 --> 00:32:22,930
- No!
- No!
569
00:32:33,980 --> 00:32:35,010
(BOTH EX CLAIMING)
570
00:32:42,190 --> 00:32:43,220
(EX CLAIMING)
571
00:32:48,630 --> 00:32:49,600
(EX CLAIMING)
572
00:32:51,430 --> 00:32:52,460
(ENGINE STARTING)
573
00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:15,350
(EX CLAIMING)
574
00:33:19,460 --> 00:33:20,520
(INHALING)
575
00:33:31,510 --> 00:33:32,730
(SCREAMING)
576
00:33:33,510 --> 00:33:37,570
Here's your Gutenberg Bible, masters.
Plus, the Colonel's secret recipe.
577
00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:39,080
(BENDER READING)
578
00:33:39,180 --> 00:33:43,140
Well, that does it.
We've got every valuable object in history.
579
00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:45,140
(EX CLAIMING)
580
00:33:46,490 --> 00:33:49,580
Now that I'm rich, I suddenly care
if the universe gets destroyed.
581
00:33:49,690 --> 00:33:52,020
We can't use
that dangerous time code again.
582
00:33:52,130 --> 00:33:54,060
Blank it from the robot's memory.
583
00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:58,190
I'll vaporize this guy so his ass
doesn't fall into the wrong hands.
584
00:33:58,300 --> 00:33:59,270
(EX CLAIMING)
585
00:33:59,370 --> 00:34:01,060
Why don't you just remove my tattoo?
586
00:34:01,170 --> 00:34:03,400
Nice try,
but you might have memorized it.
587
00:34:03,510 --> 00:34:04,490
No, I mightn't.
588
00:34:04,610 --> 00:34:07,010
I can't even remember
my mother's maiden name.
589
00:34:07,110 --> 00:34:08,630
It's Gleissner.
590
00:34:10,950 --> 00:34:13,880
Stupid naked aliens. Stupid Lars.
591
00:34:13,980 --> 00:34:15,610
I hate the future.
592
00:34:21,720 --> 00:34:24,990
Man, that cube root was
a real buzzer-beater, Clyde.
593
00:34:25,630 --> 00:34:30,460
Zero, one, one, one, zero, zero, one, one!
594
00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:33,630
Blast him !
595
00:34:33,740 --> 00:34:34,790
(EX CLAIMING)
596
00:34:38,510 --> 00:34:41,140
You missed. Oh, great master.
597
00:34:49,890 --> 00:34:51,250
Hello, 2000.
598
00:34:51,750 --> 00:34:53,080
I'm home.
599
00:34:53,190 --> 00:34:55,490
MAN: Happy New Year, naked weirdo!
600
00:34:56,160 --> 00:34:57,820
Happy New Year.
601
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:05,360
Well, we'll never know
where the ass guy went,
602
00:35:05,470 --> 00:35:08,490
and since we can't kill him,
I say live and let live.
603
00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:10,460
That's sweet, boss.
604
00:35:10,570 --> 00:35:13,230
Fry'll be nice and cozy
back in the year 2000.
605
00:35:13,340 --> 00:35:15,870
What? How do you know
he went to the year 2000?
606
00:35:15,980 --> 00:35:17,840
That's where he always goes.
607
00:35:18,510 --> 00:35:22,110
Better play it safe.
Go there a little earlier and wait for him.
608
00:35:22,220 --> 00:35:24,280
You know what to do.
609
00:35:24,390 --> 00:35:28,690
You want me to concludify him
like some sort of dispatcherator?
610
00:35:28,790 --> 00:35:31,450
- Yes, and don't forget to terminate him.
- Got it.
611
00:35:31,560 --> 00:35:35,260
Preparing to terminate Philip Fry.
612
00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:37,360
What's with the doofy sunglasses?
613
00:35:37,470 --> 00:35:39,560
It's really bright in the past.
614
00:35:39,670 --> 00:35:41,900
(QUICKLY) Zero, zero, one, one, zero...
615
00:35:50,210 --> 00:35:53,110
Okay, Fry. Come to papa.
616
00:35:55,450 --> 00:35:56,940
Man, I'm bored.
617
00:36:06,190 --> 00:36:07,890
Hey, there you are.
618
00:36:09,870 --> 00:36:13,300
Oh, wait.
That's Fry before he goes to the future.
619
00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:16,840
I'm waiting for the one
who comes back from the future.
620
00:36:17,540 --> 00:36:18,940
Jeez, this is confusing.
621
00:36:19,370 --> 00:36:22,500
And I bet it's gonna get
a lot more confusing.
622
00:36:22,710 --> 00:36:24,300
(SLOSHING)
623
00:36:25,110 --> 00:36:27,450
That cheap beer
really goes right through you.
624
00:36:27,550 --> 00:36:30,110
For the first time ever,
I gotta use the bathroom.
625
00:36:30,220 --> 00:36:31,880
But if I leave, I might miss Fry.
626
00:36:31,990 --> 00:36:32,980
(GASPING)
627
00:36:33,090 --> 00:36:34,390
Unless...
628
00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:37,150
(QUICKLY) Zero, zero,
one, one, zero, zero...
629
00:36:40,830 --> 00:36:43,660
And I bet it's gonna get
a lot more confusing.
630
00:36:43,770 --> 00:36:44,860
(EX CLAIMING)
631
00:36:44,970 --> 00:36:48,060
Hi, I'm you from 19 seconds in the future.
632
00:36:48,170 --> 00:36:50,970
Stay here and wait for Fry
while I go to the bathroom.
633
00:36:51,070 --> 00:36:52,400
Okay, boss.
634
00:36:52,510 --> 00:36:54,600
After I kill Fry, you're next.
635
00:36:54,710 --> 00:36:56,340
- What?
- Nothing.
636
00:36:59,380 --> 00:37:01,080
What the... Who are you?
637
00:37:01,180 --> 00:37:02,950
I'm Bender from way at the end.
638
00:37:03,050 --> 00:37:06,320
I came back to put
this rub-on time code on Fry's ass.
639
00:37:06,420 --> 00:37:08,320
So what are you now, a butler?
640
00:37:08,720 --> 00:37:10,990
Spot of tea, please, jerk wad.
641
00:37:11,090 --> 00:37:13,620
It's called class, you yokel.
642
00:37:13,730 --> 00:37:17,990
Now if you'll excuse me,
I have a buttocks to tattoo.
643
00:37:28,710 --> 00:37:30,080
Hello, 2000.
644
00:37:30,580 --> 00:37:31,840
I'm home.
645
00:37:32,010 --> 00:37:34,280
MAN: Happy New Year, naked weirdo!
646
00:37:34,850 --> 00:37:36,440
Happy New Year.
647
00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:38,980
(EX CLAIMING)
648
00:37:39,090 --> 00:37:41,250
Hasta la vista, meat bag.
649
00:37:42,060 --> 00:37:45,520
Bender? What are you doing?
It's me, your best friend.
650
00:37:46,090 --> 00:37:48,530
Must obey orders.
651
00:37:48,630 --> 00:37:49,620
(EX CLAIMING)
652
00:37:49,730 --> 00:37:51,930
Mustn't kill friend.
653
00:37:52,100 --> 00:37:53,230
(GROANING)
654
00:37:53,340 --> 00:37:56,460
Badly want to urinate!
655
00:37:57,070 --> 00:38:01,810
- What's happening? Are you urinating?
- Entering auto-destruct sequence.
656
00:38:01,910 --> 00:38:04,810
Crap, I hate auto-destruct sequence.
657
00:38:04,910 --> 00:38:07,400
Explosion in seven, six...
658
00:38:10,020 --> 00:38:12,650
It'll be a cold day in hell, my friend.
659
00:38:12,820 --> 00:38:16,620
Five... Hey, I'm supposed to be
the one saying cool things.
660
00:38:19,860 --> 00:38:22,300
(HUMMING)
661
00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:23,390
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGING)
662
00:38:23,500 --> 00:38:24,560
Hey!
663
00:38:24,970 --> 00:38:27,730
(PANTING)
664
00:38:28,500 --> 00:38:31,100
So the game
of cat and mouse begins, huh?
665
00:38:31,210 --> 00:38:32,900
Let us match wits.
666
00:38:34,240 --> 00:38:36,940
Oh, how am I supposed to find him?
667
00:38:37,050 --> 00:38:41,000
All those times he blabbed on and on
about his life in the 20th century,
668
00:38:41,120 --> 00:38:44,520
if only I had paid
the slightest bit of attention.
669
00:38:44,620 --> 00:38:46,850
Oh, well, guess I better go kill myself.
670
00:38:46,990 --> 00:38:48,390
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
671
00:38:54,460 --> 00:38:55,860
Hello, bartender?
672
00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:59,460
I have thought it over,
and far from being a fat pig,
673
00:38:59,570 --> 00:39:02,700
you are very nice,
and I would like another drink...
674
00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:04,530
Take a barf, drunky.
675
00:39:05,540 --> 00:39:08,810
Okay, suicide booth,
give me your best shot.
676
00:39:09,610 --> 00:39:12,550
Electrocution, please. Side order of poison.
677
00:39:16,220 --> 00:39:19,480
Hello? Kill me, you stupid machine.
678
00:39:20,220 --> 00:39:23,350
What the..."Local calls 50 cents"?
679
00:39:24,260 --> 00:39:27,020
It's a street-corner telephone parlor.
680
00:39:27,130 --> 00:39:30,390
What kind of horrible
suicide-free time is this?
681
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:32,300
Wait a minute.
682
00:39:32,500 --> 00:39:36,700
Maybe this handy encyclopedia
of humans will help me track Fry down.
683
00:39:38,340 --> 00:39:40,000
Fry, Fry, Fry.
684
00:39:40,580 --> 00:39:42,200
One of these Frys must be Fry.
685
00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:47,280
Look out, Philip Fry,
'cause I got a little present for you.
686
00:39:47,380 --> 00:39:50,280
My name is Philip Fry.
Where's my present?
687
00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:56,080
Hang on a second, Fry.
I don't remember you being that ugly.
688
00:39:56,190 --> 00:39:58,720
No, no, I've always been this ugly.
689
00:39:59,730 --> 00:40:01,490
Let me see your ass.
690
00:40:03,060 --> 00:40:05,900
No tattoo. Okay, you can go.
691
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:07,470
Farewell, sir.
692
00:40:11,870 --> 00:40:12,930
(GIGGLING)
693
00:40:13,510 --> 00:40:14,570
(EX CLAIMING)
694
00:40:14,680 --> 00:40:16,410
Say your prayers, Fry.
695
00:40:16,510 --> 00:40:19,740
This isn't Fry.
I kicked Fry out two hours ago.
696
00:40:19,850 --> 00:40:21,980
This is my new boyfriend...
697
00:40:22,550 --> 00:40:26,080
- Constantine.
- Really? That's a dumb name.
698
00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:30,980
Could be a trick.
Let me see your ass, Constantine.
699
00:40:32,190 --> 00:40:35,130
Oh, nice. Now I see why she left Fry.
700
00:40:37,130 --> 00:40:38,600
(DOORBELL RINGING)
701
00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:42,400
(SCREAMING)
702
00:40:43,100 --> 00:40:46,300
Okay, you're still clean.
I mean, metaphorically.
703
00:40:47,680 --> 00:40:51,580
He must have left the city.
Man, this could take all day.
704
00:41:00,520 --> 00:41:02,580
MAN: You guys wouldn't know a chad
if it was taped to your...
705
00:41:02,690 --> 00:41:05,290
- The returns are looking good, Mr. Gore.
- Thanks, Phil.
706
00:41:05,390 --> 00:41:08,560
Here's to four years
of clean air, clean government,
707
00:41:08,660 --> 00:41:11,600
and amazing new technologies
such as the...
708
00:41:11,700 --> 00:41:13,030
Robot!
709
00:41:13,130 --> 00:41:14,470
Philip Fry?
710
00:41:25,050 --> 00:41:27,340
NARRATOR : 12 years passed.
711
00:41:27,450 --> 00:41:29,750
Then, this.
712
00:41:45,470 --> 00:41:47,130
Philip J. Fry?
713
00:41:47,240 --> 00:41:50,360
Phil, some kind of trash can
here to see you.
714
00:41:50,470 --> 00:41:51,840
He's coming.
715
00:41:52,670 --> 00:41:54,800
Are you made of Tinkertoy?
716
00:41:55,710 --> 00:41:58,700
It's been 12 years.
Maybe I'm getting taller.
717
00:41:58,810 --> 00:42:00,440
You're not getting smarter.
718
00:42:00,550 --> 00:42:03,850
Listen, pipsqueak,
are you Philip J. Fry or not?
719
00:42:03,950 --> 00:42:06,650
'Cause if you are, I'm here to kill you.
720
00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:08,720
I'd like to see you try.
721
00:42:09,820 --> 00:42:10,850
(SCREAMING)
722
00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:13,050
You want Uncle Phil.
723
00:42:13,160 --> 00:42:15,860
He went to the North Pole
on a fishing boat.
724
00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:18,870
The North Pole! I was just there.
725
00:42:23,540 --> 00:42:27,270
One ticket to the North Pole, please.
Broom-closet class.
726
00:42:28,110 --> 00:42:29,130
Fry?
727
00:42:30,850 --> 00:42:32,780
If only I could be sure.
728
00:42:35,980 --> 00:42:37,320
It is Fry.
729
00:42:37,420 --> 00:42:40,180
I'd recognize me,
and hence him, anywhere.
730
00:42:46,190 --> 00:42:47,180
Follow that guy.
731
00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:48,890
There's an extra 100 in it for you
732
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:51,190
if you follow him so closely
that you run him over.
733
00:42:51,300 --> 00:42:52,270
Yes, sir.
734
00:42:54,100 --> 00:42:55,160
(GORE EX CLAIMING)
735
00:42:56,300 --> 00:42:57,290
(CAR HONKING)
736
00:42:57,410 --> 00:42:58,460
(EX CLAIMING)
737
00:43:01,840 --> 00:43:04,370
(BOTH SCREAMING)
738
00:43:06,010 --> 00:43:07,570
(BOTH EX CLAIMING)
739
00:43:16,160 --> 00:43:19,220
(BENDER SCREAMING)
740
00:43:20,500 --> 00:43:25,300
Dang! That $100 could have bought me
one gallon of gas.
741
00:43:34,180 --> 00:43:35,670
(BENDER SCREAMING)
742
00:43:37,950 --> 00:43:39,810
(GROANING)
743
00:43:40,720 --> 00:43:44,310
Oh, I lost him. People will call me a failure.
744
00:43:44,420 --> 00:43:45,440
(WINDOW OPENING)
745
00:43:46,820 --> 00:43:51,350
Others, however, will call me
the world's sexiest killing machine,
746
00:43:51,460 --> 00:43:53,220
who's fun at parties.
747
00:43:55,030 --> 00:43:57,360
Fry, old buddy. It's me, Bender.
748
00:44:06,610 --> 00:44:08,340
I totally killed him !
749
00:44:08,440 --> 00:44:11,240
(LAUGHING)
750
00:44:11,350 --> 00:44:13,840
(SOBBING)
751
00:44:13,950 --> 00:44:16,780
Oh, God, what have I done?
752
00:44:21,590 --> 00:44:25,120
Preparing to terminate Philip Fry.
753
00:44:25,230 --> 00:44:27,090
What's with the doofy sunglasses?
754
00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:29,530
It's really bright in the past.
755
00:44:29,630 --> 00:44:31,860
(QUICKLY) Zero, zero, one, one, zero...
756
00:44:35,870 --> 00:44:36,960
(SOBBING)
757
00:44:37,070 --> 00:44:38,830
Mission accomplished.
758
00:44:38,940 --> 00:44:40,100
Fry is dead?
759
00:44:40,210 --> 00:44:42,370
No other robot could've done it.
760
00:44:42,480 --> 00:44:45,380
It took 12 years of tireless stalking,
761
00:44:45,480 --> 00:44:48,750
but I hunted down and killed
my best friend.
762
00:44:49,080 --> 00:44:50,110
(SOBBING)
763
00:44:50,220 --> 00:44:51,710
I'm the greatest!
764
00:44:51,820 --> 00:44:52,810
(BEEPING)
765
00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:55,820
COMPUTER : Time codeand obedience virus erased.
766
00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:58,830
Also, 50 terabytes of porn.
767
00:44:58,930 --> 00:45:00,360
Hey!
768
00:45:00,460 --> 00:45:03,190
You've got no code, no porn,
and you're ugly.
769
00:45:03,300 --> 00:45:04,730
Let's dance!
770
00:45:05,130 --> 00:45:07,100
Nuh-nuh-nuhNuh-nuh-nuh
771
00:45:15,740 --> 00:45:17,730
Now, it's true, we'll all miss Fry.
772
00:45:17,850 --> 00:45:20,210
He was the only one of you
who never struck me!
773
00:45:20,320 --> 00:45:23,840
And we'll never see his boyish smile
and hair horn again.
774
00:45:23,950 --> 00:45:25,940
But I bet he went back to his own time.
775
00:45:26,050 --> 00:45:29,490
I'm sure he was very happy
and lived to a ripe old age.
776
00:45:29,590 --> 00:45:31,120
He wasn't and he didn't!
777
00:45:31,230 --> 00:45:32,490
(ALL EX CLAIMING)
778
00:45:32,590 --> 00:45:37,760
Struggling alone against incredible odds,
I, Bender, managed to kill him.
779
00:45:38,070 --> 00:45:40,530
(SOBBING)
780
00:45:40,640 --> 00:45:43,870
I blew him to mush
like a midget in a microwave.
781
00:45:44,040 --> 00:45:45,670
(SOBBING)
782
00:45:45,770 --> 00:45:46,970
(ALL GROANING)
783
00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:49,340
Oh, don't blame yourself, Bender.
784
00:45:49,440 --> 00:45:52,640
I don't blame myself. I blame all of you!
785
00:45:52,750 --> 00:45:55,310
Us? How can you possibly blame us?
786
00:45:55,420 --> 00:45:58,580
It ain't easy. It just proves how great I am.
787
00:45:58,690 --> 00:45:59,680
(SOBBING)
788
00:45:59,790 --> 00:46:00,850
Fry!
789
00:46:00,960 --> 00:46:04,020
I'd give anything to un-murder you!
790
00:46:04,130 --> 00:46:06,180
- Did someone call me?
- No!
791
00:46:06,830 --> 00:46:07,990
Fry?
792
00:46:08,100 --> 00:46:09,260
(ALL EX CLAIMING)
793
00:46:11,470 --> 00:46:15,300
But I killed you in 2012. Unless...
794
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:17,600
Nope, he's not a zombie.
795
00:46:17,710 --> 00:46:19,200
(ALL CHEERING)
796
00:46:19,310 --> 00:46:22,440
- Welcome back, Fry.
- Thank you, Lars.
797
00:46:22,540 --> 00:46:24,940
I... I'll see you later, honey.
798
00:46:26,510 --> 00:46:30,470
So tell us, Fry,
if Bender killed you centuries ago,
799
00:46:30,590 --> 00:46:33,710
how in Satan's glorious name
did you return?
800
00:46:33,820 --> 00:46:37,120
Oh, it's an astonishing tale
of incredibleness.
801
00:46:37,230 --> 00:46:40,790
It all began when I went back in time.
802
00:46:41,730 --> 00:46:42,700
Duh!
803
00:46:50,200 --> 00:46:51,400
Oh, hey, Mr. Panucci.
804
00:46:51,510 --> 00:46:53,630
I'm back from that delivery
to the cryogenic lab.
805
00:46:53,740 --> 00:46:57,230
Great, I'll put you on the cover
of Big Whoop magazine.
806
00:46:57,780 --> 00:47:01,880
- I'm starving. Can I have a slice?
- Help yourself. Cash up front.
807
00:47:03,920 --> 00:47:06,250
This note is legal tender.
808
00:47:06,350 --> 00:47:07,410
(GROWLING)
809
00:47:08,620 --> 00:47:11,320
FRY : Unfortunately,I had no money from that era.
810
00:47:11,430 --> 00:47:15,060
But that's when it hit me.I knew where to find free pizza.
811
00:47:19,170 --> 00:47:20,160
(GROANING)
812
00:47:20,270 --> 00:47:21,500
Ice cold.
813
00:47:21,600 --> 00:47:23,090
FRY : That's when it hit me again.
814
00:47:23,200 --> 00:47:26,230
But an hour ago,
this pizza's still lukewarm !
815
00:47:27,310 --> 00:47:29,370
"Zero, zero, one, one, zero..."
816
00:47:36,480 --> 00:47:38,780
Explosion in seven, six...
817
00:47:41,460 --> 00:47:44,220
It'll be a cold day in hell, my friend.
818
00:47:44,330 --> 00:47:47,990
Five... Hey, I'm supposed to be
the one saying cool things.
819
00:47:49,300 --> 00:47:52,290
- Nice kick, me.
- Thanks. What are you doing here?
820
00:47:52,400 --> 00:47:55,200
One hour from now,
I travel back in time for free pizza.
821
00:47:55,300 --> 00:47:57,570
But Nibbler said not to use the time code.
822
00:47:57,670 --> 00:48:00,640
Fine, Mr. Responsible, don't use the code.
823
00:48:02,180 --> 00:48:04,040
That pizza sure was good.
824
00:48:04,150 --> 00:48:06,010
- You pig.
- Whatever.
825
00:48:06,610 --> 00:48:09,380
FRY : That's when it hit me yet a third time.
826
00:48:09,480 --> 00:48:10,540
You idiot!
827
00:48:10,650 --> 00:48:14,090
Frozen me's still got a wallet
full of old-timey money.
828
00:48:16,890 --> 00:48:19,090
Yuck! I touched my own butt!
829
00:48:37,950 --> 00:48:40,850
So I unfroze 10 minutes ago,
and I walked over here,
830
00:48:40,950 --> 00:48:43,580
and then it was now,
and then I don't know what happened.
831
00:48:43,680 --> 00:48:45,210
Well, I'm glad you're alive,
832
00:48:45,320 --> 00:48:47,750
but I don't want people to say
I'm incompetent,
833
00:48:47,860 --> 00:48:50,380
so I better kill you again. Hold still.
834
00:48:50,490 --> 00:48:53,020
Bender! Stop killing for a minute!
835
00:48:53,130 --> 00:48:56,030
The Fry you murdered
was doomed anyway.
836
00:48:56,130 --> 00:48:57,260
See?
837
00:48:58,570 --> 00:48:59,900
What have you got there? Numbers?
838
00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:03,160
Here, when the time code duplicates
a living thing,
839
00:49:03,270 --> 00:49:05,830
the copy is always doomed.
840
00:49:05,940 --> 00:49:08,500
And that includes
flabby Jamaican pot-bellies.
841
00:49:08,610 --> 00:49:10,340
Kiss my front-butt.
842
00:49:11,010 --> 00:49:14,040
So my copy lived 12 years
before Bender murdered him?
843
00:49:14,150 --> 00:49:15,620
Brutally murdered.
844
00:49:15,720 --> 00:49:17,710
I wonder what his life was like.
845
00:49:18,690 --> 00:49:20,780
I guess we'll never know.
846
00:49:20,890 --> 00:49:22,290
Or will we?
847
00:49:23,660 --> 00:49:24,720
Nope.
848
00:49:24,830 --> 00:49:28,130
NARRA TOR : They won't know. But you will.
849
00:49:28,530 --> 00:49:29,830
Lucky you.
850
00:49:34,140 --> 00:49:35,360
Oh, hey, Mr. Panucci.
851
00:49:35,470 --> 00:49:37,600
I'm back from that delivery
to the cryogenic lab.
852
00:49:37,710 --> 00:49:41,110
I know. I read about it
in Big Whoop magazine.
853
00:49:41,210 --> 00:49:45,840
So my girlfriend kicked me out.
Can I rent the upstairs storage room?
854
00:49:45,950 --> 00:49:48,250
The upstairs storage?
855
00:49:48,350 --> 00:49:49,870
(LAUGHING)
856
00:49:49,980 --> 00:49:51,180
I like you, kid.
857
00:49:51,290 --> 00:49:53,980
Your lousy life makes me feel
good about myself.
858
00:49:54,090 --> 00:49:55,210
The room's yours.
859
00:49:55,320 --> 00:49:58,380
Here, take some rat spray
for the meatball hamper.
860
00:50:09,370 --> 00:50:13,860
(BARKING)
861
00:50:35,930 --> 00:50:38,490
(SOBBING)
862
00:50:45,140 --> 00:50:47,200
Happy day, man. Good to have you back.
863
00:50:47,310 --> 00:50:50,710
Indeed, but the scammers
will soon sprunje the code again.
864
00:50:50,810 --> 00:50:54,410
We must remove the time tattoo at once,
and as painlessly as possible.
865
00:50:54,550 --> 00:50:57,140
(SCREAMING)
866
00:50:59,790 --> 00:51:01,350
Hurry! They're coming!
867
00:51:03,990 --> 00:51:06,220
There, the code is gone.
868
00:51:06,330 --> 00:51:09,790
I saved the space-time continuum
and 40°% of your rectum.
869
00:51:09,900 --> 00:51:11,870
- ALL: Yeah!
- That's all you need.
870
00:51:12,570 --> 00:51:14,690
Oh, I sprunje code.
871
00:51:14,800 --> 00:51:17,930
Too late, Nudar.
I've wiped Fry's butt clean.
872
00:51:18,070 --> 00:51:19,300
(SNIFFING)
873
00:51:19,410 --> 00:51:20,840
We'll see about that.
874
00:51:24,710 --> 00:51:27,610
Nothing, boss.
We sprunjed his ass inside and out.
875
00:51:27,720 --> 00:51:31,170
The only information we found was
a hair shaped like the number six.
876
00:51:31,290 --> 00:51:32,810
Give me that!
877
00:51:33,450 --> 00:51:37,290
Nine. All right, let him go.
I guess the time code really is gone.
878
00:51:37,390 --> 00:51:38,380
Thank God.
879
00:51:38,490 --> 00:51:39,520
The present may stink,
880
00:51:39,630 --> 00:51:43,290
but at least now we can look
forward to a better yesterday.
881
00:51:47,840 --> 00:51:51,290
I'm sorry, Leela,
but I can't keep living in the past.
882
00:51:51,410 --> 00:51:53,130
By which I mean the future.
883
00:51:53,240 --> 00:51:54,300
I'll always love you,
884
00:51:54,410 --> 00:51:57,170
but I've got to move on
and find my life's purpose.
885
00:51:57,280 --> 00:52:00,980
And that's how Bungles the monkeyfinally found a friend.
886
00:52:01,080 --> 00:52:02,310
I miss Morbo.
887
00:52:02,420 --> 00:52:05,040
And finally, tonighton The Late Cute Animal News,
888
00:52:05,150 --> 00:52:08,020
a story that will reallytug your heartstrings
889
00:52:08,120 --> 00:52:11,150
way more than Bungles,the doll-raping monkey.
890
00:52:11,260 --> 00:52:15,290
It's the tale of lonely Leelu,the little orphan narwhal.
891
00:52:16,500 --> 00:52:18,930
Leelu is a rare toothed, female narwhal
892
00:52:19,030 --> 00:52:21,800
who got disorientedand washed up in Atlantic City,
893
00:52:21,900 --> 00:52:24,060
as we all do from time to time.
894
00:52:24,170 --> 00:52:27,470
But without a mother,she's lost the will to eat.
895
00:52:27,580 --> 00:52:29,300
Come on, take a sip.
896
00:52:29,680 --> 00:52:30,700
(MOANING)
897
00:52:31,950 --> 00:52:35,180
I know how to make things eat.
Maybe this is my purpose in life.
898
00:52:37,450 --> 00:52:40,280
Hi, I'd like to apply for a job
working with Leelu.
899
00:52:40,390 --> 00:52:41,650
Question number one.
900
00:52:41,760 --> 00:52:44,490
Do you have any experience
working with marine mammals?
901
00:52:44,590 --> 00:52:47,820
- No, but I think they're pretty neat.
- That answers question number two.
902
00:52:47,930 --> 00:52:48,920
Question number three.
903
00:52:49,030 --> 00:52:52,060
Do you know where the door is,
or do you prefer to be kicked out?
904
00:52:52,170 --> 00:52:54,400
I don't know. I guess kicked out.
905
00:52:54,500 --> 00:52:55,530
(GRUNTING)
906
00:52:55,640 --> 00:52:56,760
Hiya, girl!
907
00:52:56,870 --> 00:52:59,070
My name's Fry, and I think you're a cutie,
908
00:52:59,170 --> 00:53:00,870
'cause I like things
that have only one thing
909
00:53:00,980 --> 00:53:02,810
instead of two things.
910
00:53:05,010 --> 00:53:08,180
Holy mackerel!
She's eating whole mackerel.
911
00:53:08,280 --> 00:53:11,380
I don't know what your secret is,
but if you'll work for minimum wage,
912
00:53:11,490 --> 00:53:12,540
you can start tomorrow.
913
00:53:12,650 --> 00:53:15,420
If I work for less than minimum,
can I start today?
914
00:53:15,520 --> 00:53:17,290
I don't see why not.
915
00:53:22,100 --> 00:53:26,030
In business news, the weakand gullible inhabitants of Earth
916
00:53:26,130 --> 00:53:28,690
were plungedinto economic depression today
917
00:53:28,800 --> 00:53:32,470
as the scammer aliens finishedstealing every item of value,
918
00:53:32,570 --> 00:53:35,170
including ownership of this station.
919
00:53:35,310 --> 00:53:36,640
(LAUGHING)
920
00:53:36,740 --> 00:53:38,230
(BOTH SCREAMING)
921
00:53:39,010 --> 00:53:42,920
Tough times, Earth chumps.
We're repossessing your TV.
922
00:53:43,020 --> 00:53:45,180
Seems you can't afford it
now that you're unemployed.
923
00:53:45,290 --> 00:53:46,280
We're not...
924
00:53:57,730 --> 00:54:01,530
I love the Head Museum at night.
It's where I come to be alone.
925
00:54:01,640 --> 00:54:03,030
- Hi, Lars!
- Hi, Lars!
926
00:54:03,770 --> 00:54:06,040
Lars and la belle Leela.
927
00:54:06,140 --> 00:54:09,370
I trust you brought some haute cuisine
for an old Frenchman?
928
00:54:09,480 --> 00:54:12,670
Your favorite, General.
Torgo's Executive Powder.
929
00:54:15,780 --> 00:54:17,480
Mmm ! Magnifique!
930
00:54:18,020 --> 00:54:21,480
Come on, Leela. Let me show you
the Hall of Screaming Skulls.
931
00:54:21,590 --> 00:54:24,750
(ALL SCREAMING)
932
00:54:25,790 --> 00:54:27,390
It's so romantic.
933
00:54:28,100 --> 00:54:29,320
(SOBBING)
934
00:54:29,430 --> 00:54:31,760
What's wrong?
Is the screaming depressing you?
935
00:54:31,870 --> 00:54:37,460
It's just... My life is changing so fast.
I don't know who I am anymore.
936
00:54:37,570 --> 00:54:39,000
I know who you are.
937
00:54:39,110 --> 00:54:42,470
You're the woman
I've been waiting for all my life.
938
00:54:48,450 --> 00:54:49,750
Let's go to my place.
939
00:54:55,660 --> 00:54:57,590
I like what you've done with it.
940
00:54:57,690 --> 00:55:00,820
(LEELA READING)
941
00:55:00,930 --> 00:55:03,090
And that would be us, dump cakes.
942
00:55:03,200 --> 00:55:04,260
We're buying the whole city
943
00:55:04,370 --> 00:55:06,600
and turning it into
a private panda hunting reserve.
944
00:55:06,700 --> 00:55:07,860
Nuh-nuh-nuh
945
00:55:07,970 --> 00:55:10,300
There aren't any pandas in New New York.
946
00:55:10,400 --> 00:55:12,070
Back it up, Sal!
947
00:55:12,370 --> 00:55:14,000
(BEEPING)
948
00:55:29,490 --> 00:55:33,590
Look at us, living like trash-eating bums
in an alley now.
949
00:55:34,030 --> 00:55:35,830
Yes, now.
950
00:55:35,930 --> 00:55:39,700
And on Xmas eve,
the most wonderful night of the...
951
00:55:40,030 --> 00:55:41,020
Oops.
952
00:55:41,140 --> 00:55:43,760
Well, at least we have each other.
953
00:55:43,870 --> 00:55:46,900
So it truly is the worst Xmas ever.
954
00:55:47,010 --> 00:55:49,000
(EX CLAIMING)
955
00:55:49,110 --> 00:55:50,300
Santa !
956
00:55:51,480 --> 00:55:53,970
The Planet Express crew.
957
00:55:54,080 --> 00:55:59,110
According to my list,
you've all been very naughty.
958
00:55:59,220 --> 00:56:02,310
I'll be back for you
after I collect my milk and cookies
959
00:56:02,420 --> 00:56:04,320
from starving orphans.
960
00:56:06,330 --> 00:56:09,230
That's it. I don't see how
things could get any worse.
961
00:56:09,330 --> 00:56:10,490
We could sing.
962
00:56:10,600 --> 00:56:12,290
I'd rather kill myself.
963
00:56:12,400 --> 00:56:13,990
Why not do both?
964
00:56:14,100 --> 00:56:15,730
Oh. Very well.
965
00:56:17,300 --> 00:56:18,570
(GROANING)
966
00:56:19,740 --> 00:56:22,830
I may as well jump
967
00:56:22,940 --> 00:56:24,740
Those sleazy naked scammers
968
00:56:24,850 --> 00:56:27,010
Made me look like a chump
969
00:56:27,110 --> 00:56:31,070
They robbed me of my dignityand most of my stuff
970
00:56:31,190 --> 00:56:33,050
Lars brought me candy
971
00:56:33,150 --> 00:56:35,490
Cram it down and shut the hell up
972
00:56:35,590 --> 00:56:38,350
I can't compete with that
973
00:56:38,460 --> 00:56:39,430
(GIGGLING)
974
00:56:39,530 --> 00:56:43,160
He's Barbados Slim and I'm Jamaican fat
975
00:56:43,260 --> 00:56:47,030
Who would choose a backwards corpsewith lice in his hair?
976
00:56:47,130 --> 00:56:49,130
Lars says I'm dreamy
977
00:56:49,240 --> 00:56:50,640
Who the hell cares?
978
00:56:50,740 --> 00:56:54,470
Oh, won't somebody shoot her, please
979
00:56:54,580 --> 00:56:57,570
And put her out of our misery?
980
00:56:57,680 --> 00:56:58,870
That's my cue.
981
00:56:58,980 --> 00:57:00,110
(ALL SCREAMING)
982
00:57:12,230 --> 00:57:13,630
Oh, my word.
983
00:57:15,800 --> 00:57:17,790
Lars makes me puke
984
00:57:19,100 --> 00:57:22,660
I bet she'd love me, tooIf I was a baldheaded kook
985
00:57:22,770 --> 00:57:24,600
- Hey, guess what, guys!
- What?
986
00:57:24,710 --> 00:57:27,110
While we were huddled in fear
987
00:57:27,210 --> 00:57:28,970
Lars popped the question
988
00:57:29,080 --> 00:57:31,040
- Congratulations!
- Mazel tov!
989
00:57:31,150 --> 00:57:33,010
May stars in heaven bless your love!
990
00:57:33,110 --> 00:57:34,510
I think I'm gonna cry
991
00:57:34,620 --> 00:57:38,240
'cause it'san extra happy Xmas this year
992
00:57:38,620 --> 00:57:40,810
Now could things get any worse?
993
00:57:41,220 --> 00:57:43,380
Ho! Ho! Ho!
994
00:57:44,690 --> 00:57:47,960
(ALL SCREAMING)
995
00:57:48,060 --> 00:57:49,050
Stop screaming.
996
00:57:49,160 --> 00:57:50,990
That's just what the bomb wants us to do.
997
00:57:51,100 --> 00:57:52,460
I say do what it tells us.
998
00:57:52,570 --> 00:57:53,760
(SCREAMING)
999
00:57:53,870 --> 00:57:57,390
Don't worry, a bomb in a case is
just like a head in a jar.
1000
00:58:00,740 --> 00:58:02,540
(ALL CHEERING)
1001
00:58:02,640 --> 00:58:06,370
Oh, Lars, not blowing us up
makes me love you even more.
1002
00:58:06,480 --> 00:58:08,210
Lifesaving goody-goody.
1003
00:58:08,320 --> 00:58:11,720
Well, now that death
has been staved off momentarily,
1004
00:58:11,820 --> 00:58:13,880
let me be the first to say
1005
00:58:13,990 --> 00:58:17,150
congratulations, Leela and Lars.
1006
00:58:17,260 --> 00:58:18,820
(ALL CHEERING)
1007
00:58:18,930 --> 00:58:20,330
- Maid of honor!
- Maid of honor!
1008
00:58:20,430 --> 00:58:21,490
Oh.
1009
00:58:22,060 --> 00:58:24,120
- Oh, that's wonderful.
- I'm so happy.
1010
00:58:24,230 --> 00:58:28,500
I could make you happy, too,
if only you'd give me a chance.
1011
00:58:32,370 --> 00:58:33,600
(SHOUTING)
1012
00:58:33,710 --> 00:58:34,730
(GRUNTING)
1013
00:58:35,040 --> 00:58:36,270
En garde!
1014
00:58:41,620 --> 00:58:44,080
(LAUGHING)
1015
00:58:57,160 --> 00:58:59,500
You've done a wonderful job, Fry.
1016
00:58:59,600 --> 00:59:00,620
When you first started,
1017
00:59:00,730 --> 00:59:02,760
I thought she'd be dead within a narweek,
1018
00:59:02,870 --> 00:59:04,430
which is six days, I believe.
1019
00:59:04,540 --> 00:59:06,010
No, Leelu's a champ.
1020
00:59:06,110 --> 00:59:09,200
She just needed someone
to show her how to eat.
1021
00:59:10,480 --> 00:59:12,470
Now that's the kind
of whale behavioral science
1022
00:59:12,580 --> 00:59:14,910
they don't teach you
in whale behavioral science class.
1023
00:59:15,020 --> 00:59:16,680
So what's up, Dr. Shlivinowitz?
1024
00:59:16,780 --> 00:59:17,880
(SIGHING)
1025
00:59:17,990 --> 00:59:20,180
This is a little hard for me to say, Fry.
1026
00:59:20,450 --> 00:59:21,720
You see, it's...
1027
00:59:21,820 --> 00:59:24,880
It's time we released Leelu
back into the wild.
1028
00:59:25,590 --> 00:59:28,460
I'm sorry, but the decision is final.
1029
00:59:28,560 --> 00:59:31,690
Plus, we need the tank
for the Loch Ness monster.
1030
00:59:32,870 --> 00:59:34,090
But that turned out to be a log
1031
00:59:34,200 --> 00:59:36,730
with a Halloween mask stapled to it.
1032
00:59:37,810 --> 00:59:40,270
Yes, well, it still draws a crowd.
1033
00:59:41,310 --> 00:59:45,040
I can't let this happen.
She'll never be happy without me.
1034
00:59:55,360 --> 00:59:57,220
I know you're broke and homeless,
1035
00:59:57,320 --> 01:00:00,050
but you still want
a swank wedding reception.
1036
01:00:00,160 --> 01:00:03,600
So I whipped you up
some real nice budget appetizers.
1037
01:00:04,970 --> 01:00:06,020
I can keep these down.
1038
01:00:06,130 --> 01:00:08,930
Okay. That's a big yes on the crud puffs.
1039
01:00:09,040 --> 01:00:11,030
Try the shlimp cocktail.
1040
01:00:11,810 --> 01:00:14,100
There must be some way
I can stop this wedding.
1041
01:00:14,210 --> 01:00:17,940
- What if I steal the wedding ring?
- Already taken care of.
1042
01:00:18,050 --> 01:00:20,340
You think that will be enough
to stop the ceremony?
1043
01:00:20,450 --> 01:00:24,380
Nope. I pulled the old switcheroo,
so they won't even know the difference.
1044
01:00:24,490 --> 01:00:25,580
Wait a minute.
1045
01:00:25,690 --> 01:00:28,710
I think the copy I made
actually cost more than this!
1046
01:00:28,820 --> 01:00:30,760
Cheap, lousy Lars.
1047
01:00:30,860 --> 01:00:34,920
Actually, this is extremely nice.
But I really went all-out on the copy.
1048
01:00:35,030 --> 01:00:36,930
It was sort of my gift to them.
1049
01:00:37,030 --> 01:00:38,020
(SNIFFLING)
1050
01:00:38,130 --> 01:00:41,970
I can't let this happen.
She'll never be happy without me.
1051
01:00:48,410 --> 01:00:50,930
It's not fair. We need each other.
1052
01:00:51,040 --> 01:00:54,840
Fry, you dumb sack.
I don't care about your problems at all.
1053
01:00:54,950 --> 01:00:56,280
(COUGHING)
1054
01:00:56,380 --> 01:00:59,650
- You need your blanket, Mr. Panucci.
- I don't even wanna be here.
1055
01:00:59,750 --> 01:01:01,650
I only came because you wheeled me.
1056
01:01:01,760 --> 01:01:03,920
But if that narwhal means so much to you,
1057
01:01:04,020 --> 01:01:05,510
you gotta do something.
1058
01:01:05,630 --> 01:01:08,190
I know, but I can't just
go chasing after her.
1059
01:01:08,300 --> 01:01:11,920
- That'd be nuts.
- Sometimes you gotta be a little nuts.
1060
01:01:12,030 --> 01:01:15,400
Let me introduce you to my cousin.
He owns a small freighter.
1061
01:01:15,500 --> 01:01:17,700
That's him right behind us.
1062
01:01:17,800 --> 01:01:19,100
Maybe you're right.
1063
01:01:19,210 --> 01:01:22,270
Sir, I'd like to engage your ship
for a trans-Arctic voyage
1064
01:01:22,380 --> 01:01:24,710
to capture a narwhal
and bring it back to my room.
1065
01:01:24,810 --> 01:01:28,510
- The man is nuts, Leroy.
- Professional whale keeper, eh?
1066
01:01:28,620 --> 01:01:31,850
I've carried your type before,
and we don't get along.
1067
01:01:31,950 --> 01:01:35,390
Oh, I agree with your values
and your goals and your methods,
1068
01:01:35,490 --> 01:01:38,520
but somehow we just never click
on a personal level.
1069
01:01:38,630 --> 01:01:42,360
I'm not a professional anymore.
Just a narwhal-Ioving private citizen.
1070
01:01:42,460 --> 01:01:43,720
Then I'm your man.
1071
01:01:43,830 --> 01:01:47,730
We'll take on three barrels
of fresh sausage and sail at dawn.
1072
01:01:56,110 --> 01:01:58,740
Welcome to the wedding!
1073
01:01:58,850 --> 01:02:00,900
It's a foolproof plan.
1074
01:02:01,010 --> 01:02:04,850
They can't sign the wedding license
if I give them a pen with no ink.
1075
01:02:04,950 --> 01:02:05,980
(SMIRKING)
1076
01:02:06,090 --> 01:02:10,790
Yeah, once they try to sign that license,
all hell will break loose.
1077
01:02:11,590 --> 01:02:12,560
Oy vey.
1078
01:02:12,960 --> 01:02:14,090
Go on now, man.
1079
01:02:14,190 --> 01:02:16,460
Don't you know nothing
about zipping up a woman's frock?
1080
01:02:16,560 --> 01:02:19,430
It's more my thing to zip them down.
1081
01:02:19,530 --> 01:02:20,930
(LAUGHING)
1082
01:02:21,030 --> 01:02:24,770
Get your clumsy, muscular hands
off my woman, Barbados.
1083
01:02:24,870 --> 01:02:26,670
Hermes! Your body!
1084
01:02:26,770 --> 01:02:29,140
I always said you were a little backward.
1085
01:02:29,240 --> 01:02:31,940
Well, I always said
you were a little forward.
1086
01:02:32,050 --> 01:02:33,410
With my wife!
1087
01:02:33,510 --> 01:02:35,980
ALL: Ooh!
1088
01:02:37,680 --> 01:02:40,150
Consider yourself bird-dogged.
1089
01:02:40,250 --> 01:02:43,090
That's my man! Take a boat, Barbados.
1090
01:02:43,190 --> 01:02:44,350
(GRUMBLING)
1091
01:02:44,460 --> 01:02:46,450
Brother, you gots to tell that sweet thing
1092
01:02:46,560 --> 01:02:48,760
your time-duplicate body is doomed.
1093
01:02:48,860 --> 01:02:52,030
Tomorrow morning, after the festivities.
1094
01:02:52,130 --> 01:02:53,430
Yow, baby.
1095
01:02:54,470 --> 01:02:59,030
(PLAYING WEDDING MARCH)
1096
01:03:00,640 --> 01:03:04,010
Our little girl is finally getting married.
1097
01:03:04,110 --> 01:03:06,240
And to a normal two-eyed human.
1098
01:03:06,550 --> 01:03:07,980
He's not good enough for her.
1099
01:03:08,080 --> 01:03:10,050
Leela deserves a guy with a dozen eyes.
1100
01:03:10,150 --> 01:03:12,980
Quit trying to fix her up with Fly Mutant.
1101
01:03:16,020 --> 01:03:17,180
Dearly liked,
1102
01:03:17,290 --> 01:03:20,820
we are gathered here
before one or more gods, or fewer,
1103
01:03:20,930 --> 01:03:23,830
to join this couple
in pretty good matrimony.
1104
01:03:23,930 --> 01:03:25,900
If anyone objects to this union,
1105
01:03:26,000 --> 01:03:29,300
let them speak now
or forever hold their peace,
1106
01:03:29,400 --> 01:03:31,100
or do something else.
1107
01:03:31,200 --> 01:03:32,260
(SNICKERING)
1108
01:03:39,980 --> 01:03:41,970
It's been two years, Fry.
1109
01:03:42,080 --> 01:03:45,520
We've caught 108 narwhals
and set them all free again.
1110
01:03:45,620 --> 01:03:48,490
- None of them were Leelu.
- But all of them were edible.
1111
01:03:48,590 --> 01:03:51,790
Can we at least eat that one?
I'm sick of sausage.
1112
01:03:51,930 --> 01:03:52,910
(GASPING)
1113
01:03:53,030 --> 01:03:55,690
I'd know
that modified extended tooth anywhere.
1114
01:03:55,800 --> 01:03:57,230
To the boats!
1115
01:03:58,200 --> 01:04:02,000
Leelu! Leelu! It's me, Fry!
1116
01:04:02,270 --> 01:04:06,070
(GRUNTING)
1117
01:04:08,110 --> 01:04:10,080
Oh, I've missed you, too, Leelu.
1118
01:04:10,180 --> 01:04:13,670
But we'll never be apart again
because we care too much for each other.
1119
01:04:13,780 --> 01:04:14,840
Fire!
1120
01:04:18,120 --> 01:04:21,180
Now, if the couple will sign
the wedding license.
1121
01:04:28,900 --> 01:04:30,160
(EX CLAIMING)
1122
01:04:34,900 --> 01:04:37,200
(SCREAMING)
1123
01:04:41,110 --> 01:04:42,580
I warned him !
1124
01:04:42,680 --> 01:04:46,640
I warned him a time paradox duplicate
is always doomed.
1125
01:04:47,050 --> 01:04:49,780
- What?
- Oh, no, my man.
1126
01:04:49,880 --> 01:04:51,710
He's essentially dead again.
1127
01:04:51,820 --> 01:04:52,840
Relax, ma'am.
1128
01:04:52,950 --> 01:04:56,480
Your husband's original body
will be repaired within one week.
1129
01:04:56,590 --> 01:04:59,460
Not soon enough. Boy needs a daddy.
1130
01:04:59,560 --> 01:05:01,290
Cruel runnings, man.
1131
01:05:01,430 --> 01:05:03,620
(LAUGHING)
1132
01:05:04,130 --> 01:05:07,460
- Woopsy-doopsy, poopsy.
- Well, let's get on with it.
1133
01:05:07,570 --> 01:05:09,900
Don't let my doomed body
and my doomed marriage
1134
01:05:10,000 --> 01:05:11,530
stand in the way of your happiness.
1135
01:05:11,640 --> 01:05:13,160
No, it's not right.
1136
01:05:13,270 --> 01:05:16,770
We don't want our happy day tainted
by misfortune and tragedy, do we?
1137
01:05:16,880 --> 01:05:19,570
- I'm okay with it.
- No, it's not right.
1138
01:05:19,680 --> 01:05:20,870
The wedding is off.
1139
01:05:20,980 --> 01:05:22,570
(ALL EX CLAIMING)
1140
01:05:23,380 --> 01:05:24,940
Oh, my goodness!
1141
01:05:26,250 --> 01:05:27,280
(SNICKERING)
1142
01:05:27,390 --> 01:05:29,320
Finally, a happy ending.
1143
01:05:29,620 --> 01:05:33,580
(SOBBING)
1144
01:05:37,830 --> 01:05:41,360
ANNOUNCER ON TV : And now it's time for
Everybody Loves Hypnotoad.
1145
01:05:41,500 --> 01:05:44,730
(MECHANICAL GRINDING)
1146
01:05:46,670 --> 01:05:50,200
Even in a depression,
the entertainment industry thrives.
1147
01:05:57,450 --> 01:05:58,780
Are you okay, Leela?
1148
01:05:58,890 --> 01:06:00,720
Yeah, I'm just a little down
1149
01:06:00,820 --> 01:06:03,620
'cause the only man
I'll ever love left me at the altar.
1150
01:06:03,720 --> 01:06:06,720
- Plus I live in a dumpster.
- You stay out of my dumpster.
1151
01:06:06,830 --> 01:06:07,920
(HISSING)
1152
01:06:08,030 --> 01:06:10,620
ANNOUNCER ON TV : We interrupt thisepisode ofEverybody Loves Hypnotoad
1153
01:06:10,730 --> 01:06:14,460
to bring you a special addressfrom Earth President Nixon.
1154
01:06:14,570 --> 01:06:16,930
Please, Hypnotoad, it's beyond my control.
1155
01:06:17,040 --> 01:06:19,270
No! Don't make me kill myself!
1156
01:06:19,370 --> 01:06:20,460
(ANNOUNCER GROANING)
1157
01:06:20,910 --> 01:06:22,740
My fellow Earthicans,
1158
01:06:22,840 --> 01:06:26,110
I've just received some really great news.
1159
01:06:26,210 --> 01:06:27,370
I'm about to close a deal
1160
01:06:27,480 --> 01:06:30,450
that will allow us to buy Earth back
from the scammers.
1161
01:06:30,550 --> 01:06:31,570
(ALL CHEERING)
1162
01:06:31,690 --> 01:06:33,480
That'll teach those scammers and me.
1163
01:06:33,590 --> 01:06:35,450
Just when things looked darkest,
1164
01:06:35,560 --> 01:06:38,720
I received an e-mail
from the Andromeda Galaxy.
1165
01:06:38,830 --> 01:06:42,890
It seems we've won their
quadrillion-dollar family sweepstakes.
1166
01:06:43,000 --> 01:06:44,020
(ALL GROANING)
1167
01:06:44,130 --> 01:06:45,120
Oh, Lord.
1168
01:06:45,230 --> 01:06:46,760
And all I had to do was hand over
1169
01:06:46,870 --> 01:06:49,700
our last remaining land
and water as collateral.
1170
01:06:49,800 --> 01:06:50,860
So assuming all goes...
1171
01:06:50,970 --> 01:06:52,000
(AGNEW GRUNTING)
1172
01:06:52,110 --> 01:06:54,130
What's that, Agnew? A telegram?
1173
01:06:54,240 --> 01:06:55,300
(GRUNTING)
1174
01:06:55,810 --> 01:06:57,610
(EX CLAIMING)
1175
01:06:57,710 --> 01:07:01,110
There... Seems to have been some...
1176
01:07:01,210 --> 01:07:02,700
We've been scammed again, people.
1177
01:07:02,820 --> 01:07:06,810
Prepare to evacuate Earth.
I mean, New Scamedonia.
1178
01:07:09,890 --> 01:07:13,450
Na-na-na-naNa-na-na-na
1179
01:07:13,790 --> 01:07:15,420
Hey, hey, hey
1180
01:07:15,530 --> 01:07:17,460
We took your stuff
1181
01:07:17,560 --> 01:07:19,620
All aboard for Neptune!
1182
01:07:19,730 --> 01:07:22,220
Oh, I don't want to go to Neptune.
1183
01:07:22,340 --> 01:07:24,630
I'll be cold and heavy.
1184
01:07:26,810 --> 01:07:28,970
Thanks for the planet, suckers.
1185
01:07:36,120 --> 01:07:38,480
(ALL GROANING)
1186
01:07:43,990 --> 01:07:46,930
(ALL SCREAMING)
1187
01:07:53,500 --> 01:07:57,370
It's so cold, my processor is running
at peak efficiency.
1188
01:07:57,470 --> 01:07:59,230
What are you, a whining machine?
1189
01:07:59,340 --> 01:08:02,330
If you want to worry about something,
worry about the yetis.
1190
01:08:02,440 --> 01:08:03,840
Yetis?
1191
01:08:03,980 --> 01:08:05,540
(YETIS HOWLING)
1192
01:08:05,650 --> 01:08:07,880
Oh, yetis.
1193
01:08:07,980 --> 01:08:11,420
Amy, you speak yeti.
What are they saying?
1194
01:08:11,520 --> 01:08:14,780
I'm not sure, but it sounds
like something to do with...
1195
01:08:14,890 --> 01:08:17,690
"Assaulting the interlopers."
1196
01:08:19,230 --> 01:08:20,390
(SCREAMING)
1197
01:08:21,730 --> 01:08:22,790
(GROWLING)
1198
01:08:22,900 --> 01:08:23,890
(SHOUTING)
1199
01:08:24,000 --> 01:08:27,090
Don't mess with me,
you ice-crapping snow-honkies.
1200
01:08:27,200 --> 01:08:28,900
I just got dumped.
1201
01:08:29,940 --> 01:08:31,490
(SHOUTING)
1202
01:08:31,940 --> 01:08:36,030
Sweet yeti of the Serengeti,
she's gone crazy eddie in the head-y.
1203
01:08:36,140 --> 01:08:37,540
(SHOUTING)
1204
01:08:39,050 --> 01:08:41,480
(GRUNTING)
1205
01:08:46,550 --> 01:08:48,610
- Is that normal?
- No.
1206
01:08:48,720 --> 01:08:50,990
Perhaps if we were to cook
and eat her slightly...
1207
01:08:51,090 --> 01:08:52,120
Leave her alone.
1208
01:08:52,230 --> 01:08:54,820
She just needs me to cheer her up.
1209
01:08:54,930 --> 01:08:57,090
Wanna sword fight, girl?
1210
01:09:02,070 --> 01:09:04,760
That male narwhal seems
to be upsetting her.
1211
01:09:04,870 --> 01:09:08,470
Get us out of here, Captain.
Full fast ahead.
1212
01:09:08,580 --> 01:09:10,410
Damn whale keepers.
1213
01:09:22,860 --> 01:09:25,720
Santa ! We forgot he's based on Neptune.
1214
01:09:25,830 --> 01:09:28,690
Ho! Ho! Ho!
1215
01:09:29,830 --> 01:09:32,300
Oh, my heart's not in it.
1216
01:09:32,400 --> 01:09:36,060
I'm too depressed
for murder and mayhem.
1217
01:09:37,170 --> 01:09:39,900
Try some antidepressants.
They're Gummi.
1218
01:09:40,010 --> 01:09:41,230
What happened, Santa?
1219
01:09:41,340 --> 01:09:44,170
The scammers cheated me
out of my naughty list
1220
01:09:44,280 --> 01:09:46,180
to use for telemarketing.
1221
01:09:46,280 --> 01:09:49,270
Can you imagine the harm
they could do with that information?
1222
01:09:49,380 --> 01:09:51,280
I wanted to do that harm.
1223
01:09:51,380 --> 01:09:53,610
That's it. They've gone too far.
1224
01:09:53,720 --> 01:09:57,520
No more running and hiding.
It's time to fight back.
1225
01:09:57,620 --> 01:10:00,180
Now, let's not resort to violence, Leela.
1226
01:10:00,290 --> 01:10:04,390
We're fighting back and you're helping us,
you fat holiday idiot.
1227
01:10:04,500 --> 01:10:05,620
(SOBBING)
1228
01:10:05,730 --> 01:10:06,760
That hurt.
1229
01:10:06,870 --> 01:10:08,930
You're on the naughty list.
1230
01:10:09,070 --> 01:10:11,440
(EX CLAIMING REPEATEDLY)
1231
01:10:18,540 --> 01:10:20,910
So that's our proposal napkin,
Mr. President.
1232
01:10:21,010 --> 01:10:24,500
We have just enough people
and ships to mount a ragtag attack.
1233
01:10:24,610 --> 01:10:25,600
You wish, missy.
1234
01:10:25,710 --> 01:10:27,770
Dog-danged scammers used
our money to build
1235
01:10:27,880 --> 01:10:31,180
a fleet of remote-controlled,
solid-gold Death Stars.
1236
01:10:32,720 --> 01:10:36,180
Ooh! I'd take one of those
with a side of chili fries.
1237
01:10:36,290 --> 01:10:38,090
We're hopelessly outgunned.
1238
01:10:38,190 --> 01:10:40,990
The force is with us, but that's about it.
1239
01:10:41,300 --> 01:10:45,460
But we have access
to a huge manufacturing complex.
1240
01:10:45,930 --> 01:10:48,270
I brought the elves back from vacation
1241
01:10:48,370 --> 01:10:50,930
Chained them upand called my holiday friends
1242
01:10:51,040 --> 01:10:52,060
Kwanzabot
1243
01:10:52,170 --> 01:10:53,430
And the Chanukah zombie
1244
01:10:53,540 --> 01:10:56,170
Three mad, wise menBearing murder and frankincense
1245
01:10:56,280 --> 01:10:57,710
- Damn you- Shut up
1246
01:10:57,810 --> 01:11:01,040
Now fetch those bunnies by the armful
1247
01:11:01,150 --> 01:11:02,910
- Says who?- Says me
1248
01:11:03,020 --> 01:11:05,480
Napalm makes themslightly more harmful
1249
01:11:05,590 --> 01:11:07,650
No one here goes near that door
1250
01:11:07,750 --> 01:11:10,020
This toyshop's going to war
1251
01:11:10,760 --> 01:11:12,730
Talmud says"Be slow to anger"
1252
01:11:12,830 --> 01:11:15,590
Low-down scammers got me seeing red
1253
01:11:15,700 --> 01:11:17,660
Got my TIE fighter out of the hangar
1254
01:11:17,760 --> 01:11:20,760
Jump back, Jack'Cause I'm Jewish and I'm undead
1255
01:11:20,870 --> 01:11:22,660
Ten hut!
1256
01:11:22,770 --> 01:11:25,640
Dreidl, dreidlI made it out of blasting clay
1257
01:11:25,740 --> 01:11:26,730
You're nuts
1258
01:11:26,840 --> 01:11:30,140
And when it's dry and readyFor mercy they will pay
1259
01:11:30,240 --> 01:11:32,140
I can't wait eight nights or more
1260
01:11:32,250 --> 01:11:34,270
This zombie's going to war
1261
01:11:34,380 --> 01:11:36,910
Check, check it outKwanzabot in the Neptizzle-hizzle
1262
01:11:37,020 --> 01:11:39,610
With my inhuman beat boxBusy building missiles
1263
01:11:39,720 --> 01:11:42,250
They're guided by thesecute dancing fairy figures
1264
01:11:42,360 --> 01:11:44,480
Careful, little elfThat's proximity-triggered
1265
01:11:44,590 --> 01:11:46,890
I'm fighting back for KwanzaSo the children won't miss it
1266
01:11:46,990 --> 01:11:49,430
I'm confused about its meaningBut I know it when they dis it
1267
01:11:49,530 --> 01:11:50,590
- So, Santa- Yeah, K?
1268
01:11:50,700 --> 01:11:51,760
- CZ?- Hey, hey
1269
01:11:51,870 --> 01:11:54,800
Let's slay them pimpsCome on, pimp my sleigh
1270
01:11:54,900 --> 01:11:56,890
Easy with that toy artillery
1271
01:11:57,000 --> 01:11:59,770
Torgo's powder's deadly but unstable
1272
01:11:59,870 --> 01:12:02,710
- Can they sue for liability?
- Certainly not!
1273
01:12:02,810 --> 01:12:04,900
Use as much as you are able
1274
01:12:05,010 --> 01:12:06,480
This bites
1275
01:12:06,580 --> 01:12:09,550
You signed away your rightswhen you were hired
1276
01:12:09,650 --> 01:12:10,780
- Now, let's fight- Let's fight
1277
01:12:10,880 --> 01:12:11,850
Okay!
1278
01:12:11,950 --> 01:12:14,420
Chestnuts roasting, I'm gonna open fire
1279
01:12:14,520 --> 01:12:16,220
Prepare for gore galore
1280
01:12:16,320 --> 01:12:18,620
This trinity's going to war
1281
01:12:19,960 --> 01:12:22,330
(BELL JINGLING)
1282
01:12:25,570 --> 01:12:27,160
Troops, you are now equipped
1283
01:12:27,270 --> 01:12:30,070
with the finest weapons
magical elves can build.
1284
01:12:30,170 --> 01:12:31,300
As for the battle plan...
1285
01:12:31,410 --> 01:12:36,400
And now, to present the battle plan,
Commander Zapp Brannigan!
1286
01:12:36,510 --> 01:12:37,530
What?
1287
01:12:37,640 --> 01:12:38,610
(AMY CHEERING)
1288
01:12:38,710 --> 01:12:39,840
At ease, people.
1289
01:12:39,950 --> 01:12:42,780
I was redecorating
my undisclosed location,
1290
01:12:42,880 --> 01:12:46,150
when I received word
of an heroic invasion.
1291
01:12:46,250 --> 01:12:49,520
Kif, crouch down and shield my thighs
from the cold, for God's sake.
1292
01:12:49,620 --> 01:12:50,850
(GROANING)
1293
01:12:50,960 --> 01:12:53,120
We fight this battle, not for ourselves,
1294
01:12:53,230 --> 01:12:56,350
but for our children
and our children's children.
1295
01:12:56,460 --> 01:12:59,630
Which is why I'm forming
a children's brigade.
1296
01:12:59,730 --> 01:13:02,500
Will the following youths
please step forward?
1297
01:13:02,740 --> 01:13:04,470
Cubert Farnsworth.
1298
01:13:04,570 --> 01:13:08,060
- Here, sir!
- My boy. Oh, God, no!
1299
01:13:08,240 --> 01:13:10,070
- Dwight Slim.
- Here.
1300
01:13:10,210 --> 01:13:15,110
You took his name? Oh, God, no!
In several ways!
1301
01:13:23,860 --> 01:13:27,690
Assuming the 15th pile of children
buys us a few seconds,
1302
01:13:27,790 --> 01:13:30,350
we will then execute maneuver 45.
1303
01:13:30,460 --> 01:13:32,400
Followed by maneuver 44.
1304
01:13:32,530 --> 01:13:34,660
- Forty-six.
- Oh, great.
1305
01:13:34,770 --> 01:13:37,430
Now I have to start back at the beginning
with maneuver two.
1306
01:13:37,540 --> 01:13:38,530
One.
1307
01:13:38,640 --> 01:13:40,940
Admiral, will we stop attackingat any point
1308
01:13:41,040 --> 01:13:43,870
or is this one of those
phony-baloney feel-good wars
1309
01:13:43,980 --> 01:13:45,270
like the war on drugs?
1310
01:13:45,380 --> 01:13:48,910
- What's your name, smart mouth?
- Lars Fillmore.
1311
01:13:49,820 --> 01:13:53,080
The lovely Leela's
on-again, off-again paramour.
1312
01:13:53,190 --> 01:13:56,880
Perhaps a suicide mission would knock
the insubordination out of you.
1313
01:13:56,990 --> 01:13:58,250
Yes, yes, yes.
1314
01:13:58,360 --> 01:14:01,380
- We're approaching Earth, sir.
- Who?
1315
01:14:01,500 --> 01:14:04,830
Oh, planet Earth.
The big blue velour marble.
1316
01:14:04,930 --> 01:14:06,760
All commanders stand by.
1317
01:14:06,870 --> 01:14:11,100
Prepare to transfer battle control
to the main duper-computer on my mark!
1318
01:14:16,610 --> 01:14:19,770
ZAPP : Ten, nine, eight...
1319
01:14:19,950 --> 01:14:23,780
(ZAPP AND KIF SCREAMING)
1320
01:14:24,120 --> 01:14:25,110
(GROANING)
1321
01:14:25,220 --> 01:14:27,310
Does anybody mind if I take command?
1322
01:14:27,420 --> 01:14:28,980
- No.
- Nos.
1323
01:14:29,090 --> 01:14:30,350
- Nah.
- Nope.
1324
01:14:30,460 --> 01:14:32,760
- No, Miss Turanga.
- No, I do not.
1325
01:14:32,860 --> 01:14:34,120
- No.
- It's cool.
1326
01:14:35,030 --> 01:14:39,520
All right.
Unit one, acquire target A and fire!
1327
01:14:57,380 --> 01:14:59,380
Yes! Nailed the children's ship.
1328
01:14:59,490 --> 01:15:01,480
(ALL LAUGHING)
1329
01:15:04,690 --> 01:15:08,460
LEELA : Unit 10, Target H, 16-K.Niner, niner, go left!
1330
01:15:08,760 --> 01:15:10,020
I mean right.
1331
01:15:10,900 --> 01:15:11,960
55-U.
1332
01:15:12,070 --> 01:15:13,330
8-R, 2-V.
1333
01:15:13,470 --> 01:15:15,730
- Bingo!
- Cheating son of a...
1334
01:15:21,310 --> 01:15:24,000
Whoa ! Whoa ! Whoa !
1335
01:15:28,110 --> 01:15:30,810
It's hopeless!
I can't coordinate this many ships!
1336
01:15:30,920 --> 01:15:32,910
HERMES: Perhaps I can help!
1337
01:15:34,250 --> 01:15:37,780
Professor, can you wire my head
directly into the battle grid?
1338
01:15:37,890 --> 01:15:41,050
I can wire anything directly into anything.
1339
01:15:41,160 --> 01:15:43,100
I'm the professor!
1340
01:15:43,200 --> 01:15:46,560
Then prepare to see
a bureaucrat's brain in action.
1341
01:15:48,130 --> 01:15:51,630
(HUMMING FUTURAMA THEME)
1342
01:16:15,300 --> 01:16:18,130
Finally, I get to save the Earth
with deadly lasers
1343
01:16:18,230 --> 01:16:20,430
instead of deadly slide shows.
1344
01:16:23,500 --> 01:16:27,060
(EX CLAIMING)
1345
01:16:35,080 --> 01:16:36,980
He's champing for a clamping!
1346
01:16:58,970 --> 01:17:02,240
(MUSIC BOX TUNE TINKLING)
1347
01:17:06,410 --> 01:17:07,400
Kwa-zang!
1348
01:17:07,510 --> 01:17:08,480
(ALL CHEERING)
1349
01:17:08,580 --> 01:17:11,710
I did it!
I saved Earth and won back my woman.
1350
01:17:11,820 --> 01:17:14,910
- Right, woman?
- Oh, Hermes, I've been such a fool.
1351
01:17:15,020 --> 01:17:18,120
Truth be,
I married you for your sexy potato body,
1352
01:17:18,220 --> 01:17:21,420
but I'm staying with you
for your sexy potato head.
1353
01:17:22,630 --> 01:17:26,160
You haven't seen
the last of Barbados Slim !
1354
01:17:26,270 --> 01:17:28,330
Now, goodbye forever.
1355
01:17:32,110 --> 01:17:34,370
Nice attack, doo-doo heads.
1356
01:17:34,470 --> 01:17:37,140
Too bad we have one last trickup our sleeve.
1357
01:17:37,240 --> 01:17:38,470
I doubt that.
1358
01:17:38,680 --> 01:17:40,980
Remember this, Farnsworth?
1359
01:17:41,210 --> 01:17:43,810
Farnsworth? That's me!
1360
01:17:44,120 --> 01:17:45,180
(FARNSWORTH GASPING)
1361
01:17:45,290 --> 01:17:47,120
My doomsday device!
1362
01:17:52,360 --> 01:17:54,120
So it was the scammers!
1363
01:17:54,230 --> 01:17:57,860
They sawed off my hand
and stole the doomsday device.
1364
01:17:57,960 --> 01:18:00,260
It wasn't them.
1365
01:18:00,370 --> 01:18:02,860
It was me, Bender.
1366
01:18:02,970 --> 01:18:05,030
The master criminal!
1367
01:18:06,110 --> 01:18:07,600
So what'll it be?
1368
01:18:07,710 --> 01:18:09,970
- Unconditional surrender?
- Never!
1369
01:18:10,080 --> 01:18:12,640
- Or total destruction?
- Also never!
1370
01:18:12,750 --> 01:18:16,010
You have 30 seconds.Make up your minds.
1371
01:18:16,120 --> 01:18:17,580
(ECHOING) Never!
1372
01:18:21,420 --> 01:18:24,050
People, I'm sorry.
1373
01:18:24,160 --> 01:18:27,060
You've never before
heard me say those words,
1374
01:18:27,160 --> 01:18:30,320
or even the individual letters
that make them up.
1375
01:18:30,660 --> 01:18:34,260
But I am.And with a huge amount of modesty,
1376
01:18:34,400 --> 01:18:36,730
I humbly beg your forgiveness.
1377
01:18:38,640 --> 01:18:40,070
(ALL GASPING)
1378
01:18:40,170 --> 01:18:43,010
Shut up and keep looking apologized to.
1379
01:18:46,210 --> 01:18:47,200
(HUMMING)
1380
01:18:51,420 --> 01:18:55,120
Uh-oh. I have a worrisome shriveling
sensation in my sprunjer.
1381
01:18:58,730 --> 01:19:01,190
(ALL SCREAMING)
1382
01:19:05,970 --> 01:19:07,760
- AMY: Yay! Bender!
- All right!
1383
01:19:09,040 --> 01:19:12,970
Bender, how the Hulk did you end up
with the doomsday device?
1384
01:19:13,070 --> 01:19:14,230
(CHUCKLING)
1385
01:19:14,340 --> 01:19:17,000
I was working the long con all along.
1386
01:19:19,550 --> 01:19:23,180
BENDER : While sawing off the professor'shand with an extremely dull saw,
1387
01:19:23,280 --> 01:19:24,480
I had some time to think.
1388
01:19:24,580 --> 01:19:28,580
So I asked myself,"Who could use a doomsday device more?
1389
01:19:28,690 --> 01:19:31,210
"The scammers or me, Bender?"
1390
01:19:31,320 --> 01:19:34,260
After several minutes of sawing,I knew the answer.
1391
01:19:34,360 --> 01:19:35,790
Me, Bender.
1392
01:19:37,300 --> 01:19:39,820
So I retrieved the dummy satchel,
1393
01:19:39,930 --> 01:19:41,400
(GIGGLING)
1394
01:19:41,800 --> 01:19:44,330
And as soon as I was outof the scammer's control,
1395
01:19:44,440 --> 01:19:46,770
I pulled the old switcheroo.
1396
01:19:47,540 --> 01:19:51,030
And that's how I saved Earthand am the greatest.
1397
01:19:54,380 --> 01:20:00,480
Bender the robot, I'm proud to present you
Earth's highest award for swindling.
1398
01:20:00,590 --> 01:20:02,920
The Dirty Double-Cross.
1399
01:20:03,020 --> 01:20:05,890
I'll always treasure itand immediately hock it.
1400
01:20:05,990 --> 01:20:07,460
(CROWD CHEERING)
1401
01:20:07,560 --> 01:20:09,260
There, your body's good as new.
1402
01:20:09,360 --> 01:20:12,300
Just pop in an executive suppository
every few...
1403
01:20:12,400 --> 01:20:13,520
(GASPING)
1404
01:20:14,200 --> 01:20:16,730
(SOBBING)
1405
01:20:16,970 --> 01:20:19,300
- What is it?
- Nothing.
1406
01:20:19,410 --> 01:20:21,460
It's supposed to be a celebration, Leela.
1407
01:20:21,570 --> 01:20:22,700
I mean, come on.
1408
01:20:22,980 --> 01:20:24,670
Whimmy-wham-wham-whazle!
1409
01:20:25,180 --> 01:20:27,910
I can't help it. I was gonna be married.
1410
01:20:28,010 --> 01:20:29,310
I was so happy.
1411
01:20:29,420 --> 01:20:32,210
Well, maybe you'll meet
someone else someday.
1412
01:20:32,320 --> 01:20:34,750
No, you don't understand.
1413
01:20:34,850 --> 01:20:37,290
Lars is the only man I'll ever love.
1414
01:20:37,390 --> 01:20:39,090
I know it in my heart.
1415
01:20:39,190 --> 01:20:40,350
(SOBBING)
1416
01:20:45,330 --> 01:20:47,460
You remember when we first met?
1417
01:20:48,270 --> 01:20:52,430
It was right there in the cryogenic lab,
eight years ago today.
1418
01:20:52,540 --> 01:20:55,510
Meet me there in five minutes.
It's important.
1419
01:20:57,280 --> 01:20:58,640
(BLOWING)
1420
01:21:04,050 --> 01:21:05,640
(MOANING)
1421
01:21:06,490 --> 01:21:08,480
Why are you so sad, Leelu?
1422
01:21:11,060 --> 01:21:12,220
Him again?
1423
01:21:12,330 --> 01:21:14,730
(GRUNTING)
1424
01:21:15,860 --> 01:21:18,830
Wait a second, are you two...
1425
01:21:18,930 --> 01:21:20,490
(MOANING)
1426
01:21:27,840 --> 01:21:32,800
Atanarjuat, Fufu, come here!
We have to set Leelu free.
1427
01:21:32,910 --> 01:21:35,880
Dang. I never should have quit
my job at the casino.
1428
01:21:35,980 --> 01:21:39,180
Me, neither.
But she needs what'll make her happy,
1429
01:21:39,290 --> 01:21:40,840
not what'll make me happy.
1430
01:21:48,160 --> 01:21:51,430
(GRUNTING)
1431
01:21:55,540 --> 01:21:58,600
(BOTH MOANING)
1432
01:21:59,440 --> 01:22:01,000
Goodbye, Leelu.
1433
01:22:01,110 --> 01:22:03,100
(SOBBING)
1434
01:22:08,820 --> 01:22:10,810
I don't much know about frozen heads,
1435
01:22:10,920 --> 01:22:12,780
but, of course,
if it's Mahatma Gandhi, I'II...
1436
01:22:12,890 --> 01:22:14,550
- Leela?
- Lars?
1437
01:22:14,650 --> 01:22:16,550
I... I really have to go, I...
1438
01:22:16,660 --> 01:22:20,390
Fry, was this an idiotic trick
to get Lars and me back together?
1439
01:22:20,490 --> 01:22:21,520
Quite idiotic.
1440
01:22:21,630 --> 01:22:25,000
But you don't need to be an idiot
to see that you two belong together.
1441
01:22:25,100 --> 01:22:27,790
And, Leela,
I want what'll make you happy,
1442
01:22:27,900 --> 01:22:29,660
not what'll make me happy.
1443
01:22:29,770 --> 01:22:34,500
I'm sorry, I really am,
but Leela and I just can't be married.
1444
01:22:34,610 --> 01:22:38,300
Why not? You obviously love each other.
What are you, cousins?
1445
01:22:38,410 --> 01:22:41,870
Fry, you deserve to know the truth.
It's because...
1446
01:22:41,980 --> 01:22:43,070
(BOTH EXCLAIMING)
1447
01:22:43,180 --> 01:22:44,240
Nobody move!
1448
01:22:44,350 --> 01:22:47,180
Nudar, how did you survive
the doom blast?
1449
01:22:47,290 --> 01:22:51,310
My doom-proof platinum vest absorbed
most of the radiation.
1450
01:22:51,420 --> 01:22:53,950
In retrospect,
I wish I'd been wearing doom-proof pants,
1451
01:22:54,060 --> 01:22:56,120
but you know us nudists.
1452
01:22:56,230 --> 01:22:58,820
- Now give me the time code!
- I don't have it!
1453
01:22:58,930 --> 01:23:02,160
- Nibbler heat-blasted it off my butt.
- Not you.
1454
01:23:02,270 --> 01:23:04,030
- You!
- Lars?
1455
01:23:04,140 --> 01:23:07,500
He doesn't have it. He never had it.
Fry had it!
1456
01:23:07,610 --> 01:23:11,480
But Nibbler heat-blasted it off my butt!
I want to stress that part.
1457
01:23:11,580 --> 01:23:15,510
My throbbing sprunjer says otherwise.
Now where is it?
1458
01:23:15,620 --> 01:23:18,310
I'm not afraid of you
or your expensive gun.
1459
01:23:18,420 --> 01:23:20,650
- Go ahead and shoot.
- Oh, yeah?
1460
01:23:20,750 --> 01:23:22,980
Then what if I kill the woman you love?
1461
01:23:23,090 --> 01:23:26,720
Don't you understand, numb-neck?
He doesn't love me!
1462
01:23:28,390 --> 01:23:30,390
I've always loved you.
1463
01:23:30,830 --> 01:23:33,490
Don't hurt her. I'll give you the code.
1464
01:23:37,870 --> 01:23:42,570
- What the...
- Four, three, two, one,
1465
01:23:42,680 --> 01:23:43,970
boom !
1466
01:23:44,080 --> 01:23:45,840
(LAUGHING)
1467
01:23:49,380 --> 01:23:50,940
(EXCLAIMING)
1468
01:23:51,780 --> 01:23:53,510
Lars, no!
1469
01:24:00,330 --> 01:24:01,380
(EXCLAIMING)
1470
01:24:23,250 --> 01:24:24,910
(BENDER SCREAMING)
1471
01:24:27,250 --> 01:24:29,810
It's enough just to know you're happy.
1472
01:24:30,990 --> 01:24:32,050
You, too.
1473
01:24:32,160 --> 01:24:33,150
(SNIFFLING)
1474
01:24:33,260 --> 01:24:36,060
It's enough to know
you're happy with Lars.
1475
01:24:36,800 --> 01:24:39,130
Fry, old buddy! It's me! Bender!
1476
01:24:40,100 --> 01:24:41,590
(EX CLAIMING)
1477
01:24:42,200 --> 01:24:43,430
My hair!
1478
01:24:44,470 --> 01:24:45,770
My larynx!
1479
01:24:49,510 --> 01:24:51,270
I'm Lars?
1480
01:24:52,380 --> 01:24:53,400
I'm Lars!
1481
01:24:54,750 --> 01:24:57,910
Wait for me, Leela !
I'll be there in a thousand years.
1482
01:25:04,260 --> 01:25:06,280
(30 CENTURYMAN PLAYING)
1483
01:25:07,060 --> 01:25:10,590
I'll save my breadAnd take it with me
1484
01:25:16,400 --> 01:25:20,100
Shame you won't be thereTo see me
1485
01:25:21,140 --> 01:25:24,440
Shaking handswith Charles de Gaulle
1486
01:25:25,380 --> 01:25:29,750
You can freezeLike a 30th-century man
1487
01:25:32,720 --> 01:25:34,780
So I got a job at the Head Museum
1488
01:25:34,890 --> 01:25:38,720
and waited for the wonderful daywhen Leela would arrive.
1489
01:25:38,830 --> 01:25:42,990
Everything was perfectuntil Hermes exploded at our wedding.
1490
01:25:43,100 --> 01:25:46,390
That's when I learned that,as a time paradox duplicate,
1491
01:25:46,500 --> 01:25:48,330
I, too, was doomed.
1492
01:25:48,430 --> 01:25:50,930
I couldn't put Leela through that.
1493
01:25:51,040 --> 01:25:54,170
So I called it off. I'm sorry, Leela.
1494
01:25:54,270 --> 01:25:55,260
(SNIFFLING)
1495
01:25:55,370 --> 01:25:56,570
I understand.
1496
01:25:57,110 --> 01:26:00,170
That concludesanother silly-willy video will.
1497
01:26:03,380 --> 01:26:05,250
He was a good man, Leela.
1498
01:26:05,350 --> 01:26:07,550
Yeah, you were.
1499
01:26:08,920 --> 01:26:13,650
Well, I guess that wraps everything up
in a nice, paradox-free bow.
1500
01:26:13,760 --> 01:26:16,660
- Not quite, my wrinkly brother.
- Right on.
1501
01:26:16,760 --> 01:26:19,090
In order for any of this
to make any sense at all,
1502
01:26:19,200 --> 01:26:22,170
someone must make
one final trip back in time
1503
01:26:22,270 --> 01:26:25,100
to put the code
on Fry's ass in the first place.
1504
01:26:26,110 --> 01:26:28,670
Sounds like a job for me, Bender.
1505
01:26:32,010 --> 01:26:33,600
Zero, zero, one, one, zero, zero...
1506
01:26:33,710 --> 01:26:35,270
(RECITING TIME CODE QUICKLY)
1507
01:26:39,890 --> 01:26:41,250
Mission accomplished!
1508
01:26:41,350 --> 01:26:44,520
- You put the time code on my ass?
- Someone's ass.
1509
01:26:44,620 --> 01:26:45,820
Oh, and guess what?
1510
01:26:45,930 --> 01:26:49,990
I met all these really cool guys with
treasure down in the limestone cavern,
1511
01:26:50,100 --> 01:26:51,560
so I invited them to stick around
1512
01:26:51,660 --> 01:26:55,230
instead of coming up
when they were logically supposed to.
1513
01:26:59,810 --> 01:27:00,900
(WHIMPERING)
1514
01:27:04,340 --> 01:27:08,400
No! No!
Everyone out of the universe! Quick!
1515
01:27:11,680 --> 01:27:13,740
What's the worst that can happen?
1516
01:27:16,160 --> 01:27:17,140
(EX CLAIMING)
1517
01:27:19,130 --> 01:27:20,150
(EX CLAIMING)
1518
01:27:22,130 --> 01:27:23,150
(EX CLAIMING)
1519
01:27:23,260 --> 01:27:24,290
(EX CLAIMING)
1520
01:27:32,340 --> 01:27:34,030
Well, we're boned.
1521
01:27:39,010 --> 01:27:41,070
(FUTURAMA THEMEPLAYING)
1522
01:27:41,180 --> 01:27:43,550
One, twoOne, two, three
1523
01:28:06,910 --> 01:28:08,840
All riseAttention
1524
01:28:16,180 --> 01:28:17,770
Twenty-fourI'm gonna get twenty four
1525
01:28:17,880 --> 01:28:20,440
I'm gonna get 24th centuryon his ass
1526
01:28:39,440 --> 01:28:42,600
(MECHANICAL GRINDING)
114429
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