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1
00:00:32,949 --> 00:00:34,116
(WHOOSHING)
2
00:00:41,916 --> 00:00:45,545
Planet Express Discount
Prisoner Transfer at your service.
3
00:00:46,837 --> 00:00:49,048
Take a good look,
Dr. Brutal off.
4
00:00:49,131 --> 00:00:52,760
This prison is where you'll be
spending your 300-year sentence.
5
00:00:52,843 --> 00:00:55,721
Yeah, until you're defrosted
and wake up refreshed,
6
00:00:55,805 --> 00:00:58,140
unaware of any time
having passed.
7
00:00:58,558 --> 00:00:59,809
(STEAM HISSES)
(EXCLAIMS)
8
00:00:59,892 --> 00:01:00,893
He heard you!
9
00:01:00,977 --> 00:01:04,564
Oh, please. It's probably just
the carbonite thawing slightly.
10
00:01:04,647 --> 00:01:07,984
Take him down to processing
while I stay here and get hooted at.
11
00:01:11,654 --> 00:01:13,447
Ooh, yeah, baby!
12
00:01:13,531 --> 00:01:14,657
Oh, stop.
13
00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:21,581
Fry, look!
14
00:01:21,664 --> 00:01:24,834
That's Silicon Red, the
universe's greatest folk singer!
15
00:01:25,167 --> 00:01:28,671
There's your wallet,
your guitar, and your gun.
16
00:01:28,963 --> 00:01:30,089
You're free to go.
17
00:01:30,506 --> 00:01:32,592
Ah! Still cocked.
18
00:01:33,092 --> 00:01:34,635
So, he's a folk singer.
So what?
19
00:01:34,844 --> 00:01:36,178
So what?
20
00:01:36,262 --> 00:01:39,307
Have you forgotten my lifelong
dream of being a folk singer?
21
00:01:39,390 --> 00:01:41,100
Because I sure have
until right now.
22
00:01:41,183 --> 00:01:43,603
Silicon Red! Silicon
Red! (PANTING)
23
00:01:44,145 --> 00:01:46,314
Hey,
I have a lifelong dream, too.
24
00:01:46,397 --> 00:01:48,858
Of not being left alone
with a frozen super-villain.
25
00:01:49,066 --> 00:01:50,109
(STEAM HISSES)
(EXCLAIMS)
26
00:01:50,192 --> 00:01:53,195
Don't try anything,
Dr. Brutal off! I know karate.
27
00:01:54,322 --> 00:01:55,531
(EXCLAIMS FEARFULLY)
28
00:01:56,490 --> 00:01:57,575
(GUITAR STRUMMING)
29
00:01:57,867 --> 00:02:02,288
(SINGING) Then I shot him and
stabbed him and stole all his gold
30
00:02:02,371 --> 00:02:06,500
And [ tried on his face
while his body turned cold
31
00:02:07,251 --> 00:02:10,296
Lovely. Just lovely.
32
00:02:10,379 --> 00:02:12,173
New topic.
Can I have your autograph,
33
00:02:12,256 --> 00:02:14,550
and also you tell me everything
you know about folk singing,
34
00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:16,135
and I'll take
your guitar, too?
35
00:02:16,218 --> 00:02:19,764
Old Salmonella? Son, I
ought to kill you for asking.
36
00:02:19,847 --> 00:02:22,808
We met doing hard time on
a Mississippi chain gang.
37
00:02:22,892 --> 00:02:25,144
And she'd been with me
through 30-odd convictions.
38
00:02:25,227 --> 00:02:28,481
Thirty? You must be quite
a bungling lowlife.
39
00:02:28,564 --> 00:02:30,024
Anyhow, about the guitar.
40
00:02:30,983 --> 00:02:31,984
(GUN COCKS)
41
00:02:32,068 --> 00:02:36,113
Aw, come on! I can't be a famous
folk singer without a cool guitar.
42
00:02:36,197 --> 00:02:37,823
Can I at least get a photo?
43
00:02:37,907 --> 00:02:39,825
And before you answer that...
(CAMERA CLICKS)
44
00:02:39,909 --> 00:02:40,910
(CHUCKLING)
45
00:02:40,993 --> 00:02:43,412
Now I'll just have someone
duplicate your guitar.
46
00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:44,497
Thanks, sucker.
47
00:02:44,580 --> 00:02:47,500
(LAUGHS) You're
the sucker, sucker.
48
00:02:47,750 --> 00:02:49,168
See, with all Salmonella
and me been through,
49
00:02:49,251 --> 00:02:50,795
her sound is unique.
50
00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:54,799
All your fancy technology will
never be able to copy this guitar.
51
00:02:55,174 --> 00:02:59,470
Using my fancy technology, I can
make an exact copy of this guitar.
52
00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:02,098
Tell me, Dr. Beeler.
Will I need to threaten you?
53
00:03:02,181 --> 00:03:03,182
Not at all.
54
00:03:03,265 --> 00:03:06,102
You see, nowadays we can take
a unique and beautiful object,
55
00:03:06,185 --> 00:03:09,355
and easily reduce it to a
formula for mass production.
56
00:03:09,438 --> 00:03:11,482
I call the process "science."
57
00:03:12,108 --> 00:03:15,444
I'll just need to locate that
guitar image on your file system.
58
00:03:17,738 --> 00:03:19,532
(GIGGLING)
(ELECTRONIC CHIMING)
59
00:03:23,786 --> 00:03:27,748
Whoa, that's a lot of porn.
Where'd you store the guitar picture?
60
00:03:27,832 --> 00:03:30,376
I don't know.
I mainly hang out in here.
61
00:03:34,755 --> 00:03:37,383
Ah-ha!
Your folk singing folder.
62
00:03:37,466 --> 00:03:40,094
I'll just double-kick
on that. (GRUNTS)
63
00:03:41,220 --> 00:03:42,221
Got it.
64
00:03:42,304 --> 00:03:45,850
Now I'll convert that guitar
image to a wire-frame model.
65
00:03:45,933 --> 00:03:47,309
There, like so.
66
00:03:47,476 --> 00:03:50,146
And send it wirelessly
to my 3-D printer.
67
00:03:51,647 --> 00:03:52,815
(BEEPING)
68
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:55,818
(HIGH-PITCHED BEEPING)
69
00:04:01,824 --> 00:04:05,119
By laying down layer
after layer of nano-plastic,
70
00:04:05,202 --> 00:04:08,831
it can turn your wildest
dreams into ordinary reality.
71
00:04:08,914 --> 00:04:10,708
Witchcraft! Sorcerer!
72
00:04:10,875 --> 00:04:12,001
Neat.
73
00:04:13,127 --> 00:04:14,420
So, how long will it take?
74
00:04:14,503 --> 00:04:15,921
Four or five hours.
75
00:04:16,005 --> 00:04:18,799
Shall we adjourn
to the porn folder?
76
00:04:25,181 --> 00:04:27,850
I call my new guitar
Bender Mae
77
00:04:27,933 --> 00:04:31,312
because Bender may be the
greatest folk singer of all time!
78
00:04:31,395 --> 00:04:32,772
It looks pretty authentic.
79
00:04:32,855 --> 00:04:35,316
You bet it's authentic.
See this scratch?
80
00:04:35,399 --> 00:04:37,610
I tell people she got it
while I was doing hard time
81
00:04:37,693 --> 00:04:38,986
with a New Hampshire
chain gang.
82
00:04:39,069 --> 00:04:40,529
FRY: I have a scratch, too.
83
00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:43,574
From where Dr. Brutal off
slashed me with his finger knives,
84
00:04:43,657 --> 00:04:45,534
right after he thawed
out of his carbonite,
85
00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:48,120
and right before he
froze me in his carbonite
86
00:04:48,204 --> 00:04:50,539
because you deserted me.
87
00:04:53,584 --> 00:04:54,668
(GROANS)
88
00:04:55,169 --> 00:04:58,464
You're always getting frozen
in stuff. It's your thing, man.
89
00:04:58,547 --> 00:05:01,675
Bender, you're not a folk singer
just 'cause you have a guitar.
90
00:05:01,759 --> 00:05:03,469
And a flannel shirt.
91
00:05:03,552 --> 00:05:06,096
I claim I won it in a
knife fight at J. Crew.
92
00:05:06,180 --> 00:05:08,849
It must be interesting
to win a knife fight.
93
00:05:08,933 --> 00:05:10,351
I wouldn't know.
94
00:05:10,434 --> 00:05:13,562
The point is, do you even
know any actual folk songs?
95
00:05:13,896 --> 00:05:16,774
Pfft! Actual folk songs
are all public domain.
96
00:05:16,857 --> 00:05:19,318
Where's the money in that?
I'll just make up my own.
97
00:05:19,401 --> 00:05:22,029
But, robot, you can't
just make up folk songs
98
00:05:22,112 --> 00:05:23,989
like you can
a medical diploma.
99
00:05:24,073 --> 00:05:25,825
They have to
come from the heart.
100
00:05:25,908 --> 00:05:27,660
Wrong again, ZOIDBERG.
101
00:05:27,743 --> 00:05:29,453
While you were yakking,
I downloaded
102
00:05:29,537 --> 00:05:31,163
every folk song
in the universe
103
00:05:31,247 --> 00:05:32,289
and analyzed them.
104
00:05:32,373 --> 00:05:33,916
There are only
a few basic patterns.
105
00:05:35,292 --> 00:05:39,421
For example, 36% of all
folk-song heroes work on a railroad
106
00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:41,006
and are named "Big" something.
107
00:05:41,090 --> 00:05:42,383
Next slide, please.
108
00:05:43,717 --> 00:05:47,179
75% of these big railroad men
have bad-hearted women
109
00:05:47,263 --> 00:05:50,724
who done them wrong, usually
with a smooth-talking rambler.
110
00:05:51,475 --> 00:05:53,185
There's a lot more,
but in the end,
111
00:05:53,269 --> 00:05:55,229
somebody kills somebody...
Blah, blah, blah.
112
00:05:55,312 --> 00:05:58,941
(SINGING) Somebody kills
somebody Blah, blah, blah
113
00:05:59,108 --> 00:06:00,067
Catchy!
114
00:06:00,150 --> 00:06:02,528
Not what I meant, but don't
perform it without my permission!
115
00:06:02,611 --> 00:06:03,612
Anyway,
116
00:06:03,696 --> 00:06:05,781
using this simple formula,
I can generate
117
00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:07,867
as many hit folk songs
as I want.
118
00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:09,368
All I need is an audience.
119
00:06:09,451 --> 00:06:12,496
And that's where
Silicon Red comes in.
120
00:06:18,836 --> 00:06:19,962
(COUGHING)
121
00:06:20,045 --> 00:06:24,216
Man, all this corncob pipe
smoke is irritating my stab wounds.
122
00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:27,469
Ladies and gentlemen,
I'm proud to present,
123
00:06:27,553 --> 00:06:31,140
fresh from another down-home
authentic prison term,
124
00:06:31,223 --> 00:06:33,809
the universe's
greatest folk singer,
125
00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:36,145
Silicon Red!
126
00:06:36,228 --> 00:06:37,438
(APPLAUSE)
127
00:06:38,063 --> 00:06:39,189
Thank you.
128
00:06:39,481 --> 00:06:40,691
(STRUMS GUITAR)
129
00:06:42,151 --> 00:06:44,069
Silicon Red, everyone.
130
00:06:46,488 --> 00:06:47,781
(SILICON RED GRUNTS)
131
00:06:48,198 --> 00:06:51,702
I'm Rambling' Rodriguez, the
new greatest folk singer ever.
132
00:06:51,785 --> 00:06:53,913
And I'm gonna sing
my new masterpiece,
133
00:06:53,996 --> 00:06:57,082
The Ballad of Me,
Rambling' Rodriguez.
134
00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:59,418
(SINGING) Well
135
00:06:59,501 --> 00:07:02,379
My bad-hearted woman
loved a smooth-talking gambler
136
00:07:02,463 --> 00:07:05,132
So I ran him
over with my train
137
00:07:05,215 --> 00:07:08,969
Lord, Lord Yes, I ran
him over with my train!
138
00:07:13,015 --> 00:07:15,225
That name again is
Rambling' Rodriguez.
139
00:07:15,768 --> 00:07:16,894
(ALL BOOING)
140
00:07:20,314 --> 00:07:22,232
Why are they
booing me, Silicon?
141
00:07:22,316 --> 00:07:24,485
"Cause your song
was insincere, boy.
142
00:07:24,568 --> 00:07:26,528
Now, get out
and don't come back
143
00:07:26,612 --> 00:07:28,322
till you've lived a life
worth singing about.
144
00:07:29,031 --> 00:07:30,491
Yes, sir.
145
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:42,670
And don't go to prison.
That's my shtick!
146
00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:51,428
I failed at my
lifelong dream again.
147
00:07:51,512 --> 00:07:55,766
How can I be so bad at
everything I try, and still be so great?
148
00:07:55,891 --> 00:07:58,310
Bender, you have
a lovely baritone,
149
00:07:58,394 --> 00:08:01,230
and you sure can strum
that plastic guitar.
150
00:08:01,438 --> 00:08:03,107
But you can't write
a real folk song
151
00:08:03,190 --> 00:08:05,234
about experiences
you haven't had.
152
00:08:05,317 --> 00:08:07,861
Yeah, you should write a
song about a heartless robot
153
00:08:07,945 --> 00:08:09,822
who leaves his best
friend to be murdered.
154
00:08:09,905 --> 00:08:12,741
Look, Leela, I'd love to write
about my own experiences...
155
00:08:12,825 --> 00:08:15,953
The heartless robot is Bender.
The best friend is me.
156
00:08:16,036 --> 00:08:18,163
How can you people
be so blind?
157
00:08:18,247 --> 00:08:21,333
But I've never picked cotton
or been on top of Old Smokey
158
00:08:21,417 --> 00:08:24,962
or worked on anything all the
livelong day, let alone a railroad.
159
00:08:25,129 --> 00:08:27,673
Then go live among
the railroad men, why not?
160
00:08:27,756 --> 00:08:29,466
You'll come to
understand them,
161
00:08:29,550 --> 00:08:32,136
just as I now understand
the ape-men of Earth.
162
00:08:32,219 --> 00:08:36,181
As stupid as Zoidberg's idea
is, it's brilliant when I have it.
163
00:08:36,265 --> 00:08:39,351
I'm off to the railroad
to become a folk singer.
164
00:08:43,605 --> 00:08:45,691
(UPBEAT FOLK MUSIC PLAYING)
165
00:08:47,067 --> 00:08:48,110
(SCATTING)
166
00:08:58,579 --> 00:09:01,707
Uh... I'm looking for
the wrong side of the tracks.
167
00:09:01,790 --> 00:09:04,460
Then you've come to
the right side of the tracks.
168
00:09:04,543 --> 00:09:05,794
Have a seat, stranger.
169
00:09:06,170 --> 00:09:07,838
My name's Bender Rodriguez
170
00:09:07,921 --> 00:09:10,090
and I want to learn
the railroading business.
171
00:09:10,174 --> 00:09:11,300
Big Caboose.
172
00:09:11,383 --> 00:09:15,179
I'm a steel-driving man
working the trans-universal line.
173
00:09:15,304 --> 00:09:19,308
Wow, you've had the exact
experiences I want to steal for my song.
174
00:09:19,433 --> 00:09:21,560
Oh, heck,
I'm nothing special.
175
00:09:21,643 --> 00:09:24,563
Just a down-home robot
with a big old hammer.
176
00:09:24,646 --> 00:09:26,899
Hammer,
that should be easy to rhyme.
177
00:09:26,982 --> 00:09:28,025
You done time in the slammer?
178
00:09:28,150 --> 00:09:29,151
Uh, nope.
179
00:09:29,234 --> 00:09:31,028
Been to Alabama?
Sorry.
180
00:09:31,111 --> 00:09:32,196
How's your grammar?
181
00:09:32,321 --> 00:09:33,405
Praiseworthy.
182
00:09:42,664 --> 00:09:45,292
Bender,
meet Fast Frank Brogan.
183
00:09:45,375 --> 00:09:48,629
Daredevil engineer
dies in the crash of Old '88.
184
00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:50,214
Dandy Jim and Gus.
185
00:09:50,297 --> 00:09:52,591
Gentlemen hobos
with a story to tell.
186
00:09:52,674 --> 00:09:55,260
I once got drunk
and ate my big toe.
187
00:09:55,344 --> 00:09:56,470
Can't say I miss it.
188
00:09:56,553 --> 00:09:58,138
And good old Cookie,
189
00:09:58,222 --> 00:10:01,266
the crusty comically inept
geological surveyor.
190
00:10:01,350 --> 00:10:03,769
Jiggers! I dropped
my sextant in the stew.
191
00:10:05,521 --> 00:10:06,605
(HORN BLARING)
192
00:10:06,688 --> 00:10:07,773
(SINGING) Been up north
193
00:10:07,856 --> 00:10:08,816
(ALL GRUNT)
194
00:10:08,899 --> 00:10:10,067
Been down south
195
00:10:10,150 --> 00:10:11,151
(ALL GRUNT)
196
00:10:11,235 --> 00:10:12,236
Got a real weak back
197
00:10:12,319 --> 00:10:13,278
(ALL GRUNT)
198
00:10:13,362 --> 00:10:14,947
I got a real big mouth
199
00:10:15,030 --> 00:10:16,031
(ALL GRUNT)
200
00:10:21,161 --> 00:10:23,872
So while Bender goofs off
at some railroad camp,
201
00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:27,084
I have to deliver dynamite
to a railroad camp myself.
202
00:10:27,167 --> 00:10:29,002
And it's the same
railroad camp.
203
00:10:29,086 --> 00:10:31,338
I mean,
the irony is palpable.
204
00:10:32,589 --> 00:10:33,715
Oops!
205
00:10:33,966 --> 00:10:35,092
Whoopsie!
206
00:10:35,217 --> 00:10:36,552
My bad.
207
00:10:40,514 --> 00:10:41,890
Dibs on the toes.
208
00:10:42,224 --> 00:10:43,267
(STRUMS OFF TUNE)
209
00:10:43,392 --> 00:10:45,644
So how's it going with
the real-world experience?
210
00:10:45,727 --> 00:10:47,896
Have you found a railroad man
to write a song about?
211
00:10:48,063 --> 00:10:50,524
Yep, my good friend
Big Something here.
212
00:10:50,607 --> 00:10:52,025
Caboose.
213
00:10:52,109 --> 00:10:55,529
I'm a steel-driving man, and there
ain't much more to say about me.
214
00:10:55,612 --> 00:10:56,947
Not till now there wasn't.
215
00:10:57,364 --> 00:11:01,910
(SINGING) Well, Big Caboose
was a steel-driving' son of a gun
216
00:11:02,035 --> 00:11:05,122
Till a bad-hearted
woman he spied
217
00:11:05,330 --> 00:11:08,750
But, Bender, I never spied
no bad-hearted woman.
218
00:11:08,917 --> 00:11:13,547
In my song you did, a temptress
named, I don't know, Jezebel.
219
00:11:13,630 --> 00:11:15,757
Wow, creativity's hard work.
220
00:11:16,258 --> 00:11:17,634
(SLURPING NOISILY)
221
00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:19,178
Ah!
222
00:11:19,261 --> 00:11:21,096
You know my favorite part
of your song?
223
00:11:21,221 --> 00:11:23,056
The part where it ended.
(LAUGHS)
224
00:11:23,724 --> 00:11:26,685
Then settle in, 'cause that's
about a half hour from now.
225
00:11:26,768 --> 00:11:30,856
(SINGING) Well,
Jezebel's heart did wander
226
00:11:30,939 --> 00:11:34,234
When she saw
that rambling' man
227
00:11:34,359 --> 00:11:37,654
He was tall
and dark and shiny
228
00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:40,699
And a native Mexican
229
00:11:40,782 --> 00:11:43,744
That sleazy rambler sounds
an awful lot like you, Bender.
230
00:11:43,827 --> 00:11:45,495
Hey, thanks for noticing.
231
00:11:45,579 --> 00:11:48,248
Just for that, I'm gonna
slip you into the 57th verse.
232
00:11:48,332 --> 00:11:50,959
You can be my best friend who
abandons me when I need you.
233
00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:53,503
Now, that's a verse
we can all enjoy.
234
00:11:53,879 --> 00:11:57,674
(SINGING) Well, Rodriguez
ran to his best friend
235
00:11:57,758 --> 00:12:00,719
Said, "Help me or
I'll surely be killed"
236
00:12:00,802 --> 00:12:04,139
Fry laughed and he said,
"You deserted me once
237
00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:07,559
"Now it's your turn to
feel the chill Lord, Lord
238
00:12:07,643 --> 00:12:11,438
"Now it's your turn
to feel the chill”
239
00:12:12,564 --> 00:12:15,901
You've accurately portrayed
the nature of my grievance.
240
00:12:20,864 --> 00:12:24,493
(SINGING) Big Caboose went
looking' for Rodriguez
241
00:12:24,701 --> 00:12:27,454
Straight to
New New York town
242
00:12:27,537 --> 00:12:28,580
He cried...
243
00:12:28,664 --> 00:12:30,249
Bender, guess what.
244
00:12:30,332 --> 00:12:33,460
I met a fabulous girl and
we're engaged to be hitched.
245
00:12:33,543 --> 00:12:34,920
That's great, Caboose.
246
00:12:35,003 --> 00:12:36,463
Come on in
and set a spell.
247
00:12:36,546 --> 00:12:39,174
No time.
I got someplace to be.
248
00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:40,884
See you soon, honey bunch.
249
00:12:40,968 --> 00:12:42,052
Okay, dumpling.
250
00:12:43,428 --> 00:12:46,098
My man's gone! Gone!
251
00:12:46,348 --> 00:12:49,518
Oh! I'm so lonely and easy.
252
00:12:50,060 --> 00:12:51,353
Ooh!
253
00:12:52,854 --> 00:12:54,022
(BOTH GIGGLING)
254
00:12:55,232 --> 00:12:57,317
BENDER: Whoo! Whoo! (LAUGHS)
255
00:13:01,446 --> 00:13:05,242
Oh, yeah. This is
definitely going in the song.
256
00:13:05,575 --> 00:13:09,079
(SINGING) He cried, "Rambler,
you slept with my Jezebel”
257
00:13:09,454 --> 00:13:11,123
Hey, what's your name, anyhow?
258
00:13:11,206 --> 00:13:12,207
Jezebel.
259
00:13:12,291 --> 00:13:14,751
Oh, good, I won't
have to change any words.
260
00:13:21,466 --> 00:13:22,634
(YAWNING)
261
00:13:22,926 --> 00:13:26,263
Yeah, you're right. It's
getting late. I'll get your coat.
262
00:13:27,556 --> 00:13:28,557
(COCKS GUN)
263
00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:31,435
Oh. Hey, Big Caboose. What
are you doing here on Earth?
264
00:13:31,518 --> 00:13:34,563
I'm here for to see
Rambling' Rodriguez.
265
00:13:34,771 --> 00:13:36,440
Well,
he's at the railroad camp.
266
00:13:36,523 --> 00:13:37,524
I know,
267
00:13:37,607 --> 00:13:41,570
but some strange force drew me
to New New York town.
268
00:13:41,653 --> 00:13:44,865
(SINGING) That rambler slept
with my Jezebel
269
00:13:44,948 --> 00:13:48,660
Now I'm coming' for to
shoot him down Lord, Lord
270
00:13:48,744 --> 00:13:52,414
Coming' for to
shoot him down
271
00:13:53,790 --> 00:13:56,460
Guess I'll go back to
the railroad camp now.
272
00:13:57,252 --> 00:14:00,672
That's weird, he sounded
a lot like Bender's folk song.
273
00:14:00,839 --> 00:14:02,799
Not a lot like
Bender's folk song,
274
00:14:02,883 --> 00:14:05,260
exactly like,
et cetera, et cetera.
275
00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:07,429
His song is
coming true somehow.
276
00:14:07,512 --> 00:14:11,475
Oh, my God, reality is
infringing Bender's copyright.
277
00:14:13,477 --> 00:14:15,771
(SINGING) I'm coming' for
to shoot you down
278
00:14:15,854 --> 00:14:16,855
No, wait.
279
00:14:16,938 --> 00:14:19,608
I'm com in" for
to run you down
280
00:14:19,691 --> 00:14:20,692
With a train
281
00:14:20,776 --> 00:14:21,818
Get it?
282
00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:23,278
(ELECTRONIC BEEPING)
283
00:14:27,908 --> 00:14:28,992
(BEEPING)
284
00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:42,381
It's over, Jezebel.
Grab your things and get out.
285
00:14:42,464 --> 00:14:44,091
I didn't bring any things.
286
00:14:44,174 --> 00:14:46,218
That's what I like
best about you, baby.
287
00:14:47,260 --> 00:14:48,387
(EXCLAIMING)
288
00:14:53,141 --> 00:14:55,560
Rambler, you slept
with my Jezebel,
289
00:14:55,644 --> 00:14:58,897
and I'm coming' for to
run you down, Lord, Lord.
290
00:14:58,980 --> 00:15:02,401
(SINGING) I'm coming' for
to run you down
291
00:15:02,984 --> 00:15:04,111
(WHIMPERING)
292
00:15:10,283 --> 00:15:11,660
(TRAIN HONKING)
293
00:15:43,692 --> 00:15:45,986
Fry, help, let me in.
294
00:15:46,945 --> 00:15:48,029
(YAWNING)
295
00:15:48,488 --> 00:15:51,032
Bender? What are you doing?
It's 3:00 a.m.
296
00:15:51,116 --> 00:15:54,411
I don't care if it's 3:00 p.m.
Open up and hide me!
297
00:15:54,494 --> 00:15:55,954
I don't think so, Bender.
298
00:15:56,037 --> 00:16:00,959
You deserted me once, and now it's
your turn to, quote, "feel the chill." Ha!
299
00:16:02,043 --> 00:16:03,253
(TRAIN CHUGGING)
300
00:16:05,380 --> 00:16:06,506
(SCREAMING)
301
00:16:10,427 --> 00:16:11,553
(BEEPING)
302
00:16:11,887 --> 00:16:13,180
Breaker, breaker.
303
00:16:13,388 --> 00:16:14,556
Hola.
304
00:16:14,973 --> 00:16:17,350
(PANTING) Professor, help.
305
00:16:17,434 --> 00:16:19,853
The hero of my folk song
tried to run me down,
306
00:16:19,936 --> 00:16:21,855
and Fry refused to save me.
307
00:16:21,938 --> 00:16:23,315
That doesn't sound like me.
308
00:16:23,398 --> 00:16:24,399
Fry?
309
00:16:24,483 --> 00:16:26,943
But you just...
I'll figure it out later.
310
00:16:27,027 --> 00:16:28,570
But first, I'll kill you!
311
00:16:30,530 --> 00:16:33,700
Bender, stop. We've been
trying to warn you all night.
312
00:16:33,783 --> 00:16:35,785
You didn't answer
your cell phone telephone,
313
00:16:36,077 --> 00:16:38,371
so the Professor tried his CB.
314
00:16:38,455 --> 00:16:40,373
Uh, scratch that,
Rubber Turkey.
315
00:16:40,457 --> 00:16:44,044
We got a 20 on the tin man.
Toodle-o00.
316
00:16:45,128 --> 00:16:46,755
But Fry betrayed me
at our apartment!
317
00:16:46,838 --> 00:16:47,839
(GAGGING)
318
00:16:47,923 --> 00:16:49,674
Just like in your folk song.
319
00:16:49,758 --> 00:16:53,261
Somehow everything you sang
about is happening in real life.
320
00:16:53,428 --> 00:16:55,138
(FRY COUGHS)
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
321
00:16:55,222 --> 00:16:57,098
Are you saying that
guy at the apartment
322
00:16:57,182 --> 00:16:59,184
was some kind of
exact copy of Fry?
323
00:16:59,267 --> 00:17:00,393
"Cause that's crazy.
324
00:17:00,477 --> 00:17:02,479
He's a unique and
beautiful object.
325
00:17:02,604 --> 00:17:04,940
(GASPING) The printer.
326
00:17:07,609 --> 00:17:10,111
Oh! I must have left
the wireless connection
327
00:17:10,195 --> 00:17:12,197
to your folk song
directory open.
328
00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:13,698
Everything you wrote
in the song
329
00:17:13,782 --> 00:17:15,742
got routed straight
to the 3-D printer.
330
00:17:15,825 --> 00:17:18,828
Big Caboose, duplicate
Fry, even Cookie,
331
00:17:18,912 --> 00:17:21,581
the crusty, comically inept
geological surveyor,
332
00:17:21,665 --> 00:17:23,542
they're all made
of nano-plastic.
333
00:17:23,625 --> 00:17:25,919
So, if Bender had
sung about, I don't know,
334
00:17:26,002 --> 00:17:28,505
some crazy giant land
octopus attacking me,
335
00:17:28,588 --> 00:17:30,048
it would have
actually happened?
336
00:17:30,215 --> 00:17:33,468
Pfft! I can't even imagine
singing about such a thing.
337
00:17:34,052 --> 00:17:35,512
(SINGING) Well
338
00:17:36,096 --> 00:17:37,514
Fry, run!
339
00:17:38,473 --> 00:17:41,685
Oh, relax, Beeler's stupid machine
takes hours to print anything.
340
00:17:41,768 --> 00:17:42,811
No, it doesn't.
341
00:17:42,894 --> 00:17:46,356
I improved it
using fancy modern technology.
342
00:17:48,650 --> 00:17:49,818
(SCREAMING)
343
00:17:54,322 --> 00:17:59,869
Bender, whatever you do, don't
think about any more octopuses.
344
00:18:00,412 --> 00:18:01,997
Octopuses?
345
00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:05,834
I believe
the correct plural is octopi.
346
00:18:08,545 --> 00:18:12,507
I'm sorry. "Octopuses"
is also acceptable.
347
00:18:13,550 --> 00:18:16,678
Think about puppies, Bender,
cute, harmless, dead puppies.
348
00:18:16,761 --> 00:18:19,347
Don't worry. I'll disconnect
him from the printer.
349
00:18:19,431 --> 00:18:22,267
No, wait. I know how to save
Bender from Big Caboose.
350
00:18:22,350 --> 00:18:24,561
(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING)
(BENDER WHIMPERS)
351
00:18:24,644 --> 00:18:27,272
All he has to do is write
his way out of this mess,
352
00:18:27,355 --> 00:18:29,566
and the 3-D printer
will make it happen.
353
00:18:29,774 --> 00:18:30,775
Like how?
354
00:18:30,859 --> 00:18:31,901
Well, I don't know.
355
00:18:31,985 --> 00:18:35,238
Make up another giant octopus
and have it kill Big Caboose.
356
00:18:35,322 --> 00:18:37,032
What kind of
lazy ending is that?
357
00:18:37,115 --> 00:18:38,867
I'm not gonna put
that in my song.
358
00:18:38,950 --> 00:18:40,702
Hey,
I have a cool idea.
359
00:18:40,785 --> 00:18:42,037
Create a duplicate Bender,
360
00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:45,373
so when Big Caboose Kills I,
it's not real, it's duplicate.
361
00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:48,418
Oh! Oh! They did
that on Star Trek, TNG.
362
00:18:48,543 --> 00:18:49,586
Cram it, nerd.
363
00:18:49,669 --> 00:18:53,006
I'm not going to just copy some
feel-good TV show wrap-up.
364
00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:54,924
(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING)
365
00:18:55,008 --> 00:18:56,968
I can think of a hundred
endings that'll save you.
366
00:18:57,052 --> 00:18:58,178
Just pick one.
367
00:18:58,261 --> 00:19:01,348
No, Dr. Beeler,
I won't just pick one.
368
00:19:01,431 --> 00:19:05,310
My audience deserves better
than some crappy, formulaic ending.
369
00:19:05,435 --> 00:19:10,065
If I must die, let me die in
a blaze of artistic integrity.
370
00:19:11,232 --> 00:19:12,609
(SINGING) Well
371
00:19:17,906 --> 00:19:19,908
(MELANCHOLY TUNE
PLAYS ON GUITAR)
372
00:19:22,285 --> 00:19:24,579
(SINGING)
Then the steel-driving' man
373
00:19:24,663 --> 00:19:26,915
Rammed his train
through the wall
374
00:19:27,082 --> 00:19:31,586
And crushed him flatter
than a Mac-book Air, Lord, Lord
375
00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:35,715
Crushed him flatter
than a Mac-book Air
376
00:19:36,966 --> 00:19:40,679
(SINGING) But while you were all
out fighting With the giant plastic octopi
377
00:19:40,762 --> 00:19:42,514
I copied myself, you see
378
00:19:42,597 --> 00:19:43,682
Bender!
Bender!
379
00:19:43,765 --> 00:19:45,433
And I cowered
in the bathroom
380
00:19:45,517 --> 00:19:47,268
While that
steel-driving' moron
381
00:19:47,352 --> 00:19:49,479
Killed a duplicate
instead of me
382
00:19:49,562 --> 00:19:50,605
Lord, Lord
383
00:19:50,689 --> 00:19:54,859
Killed a duplicate
instead of me
384
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:56,528
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
385
00:19:57,904 --> 00:20:00,115
Now, that's what
I call a great ending.
386
00:20:00,198 --> 00:20:03,535
I made a copy of myself
and Big Caboose killed him.
387
00:20:03,618 --> 00:20:06,871
But you said making a copy of
yourself would be a lousy ending.
388
00:20:06,955 --> 00:20:09,791
No, duplicate me said that.
389
00:20:09,874 --> 00:20:11,084
See, I had to be
sure he wouldn't try
390
00:20:11,167 --> 00:20:12,627
and weasel out
of getting killed
391
00:20:12,711 --> 00:20:14,254
like I would, and did,
392
00:20:14,337 --> 00:20:18,133
so I created him with a tragic
weakness, artistic integrity.
393
00:20:18,341 --> 00:20:19,509
Of course.
394
00:20:19,592 --> 00:20:21,428
How could we have thought
a guy with integrity
395
00:20:21,511 --> 00:20:23,555
was you even for a second?
396
00:20:23,638 --> 00:20:25,390
Because you're idiots.
397
00:20:25,473 --> 00:20:27,809
Come on, Silicon
Red, let's sell out.
398
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:30,270
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
399
00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:32,814
(CHEERING)
400
00:20:35,316 --> 00:20:37,777
(RAPPING) I'm the real
Rodriguez Will you please stand up?
401
00:20:37,861 --> 00:20:40,155
He been working' on the
railroad Ladies can't get enough
402
00:20:40,238 --> 00:20:42,615
I made a 3-D version
of my worst nightmare
403
00:20:42,699 --> 00:20:45,285
Sucker tried to stop the
printer and I found him there
404
00:20:45,368 --> 00:20:47,871
Went 187 on his robot ass
405
00:20:47,954 --> 00:20:50,373
Turned out to be
a copy of my robot ass
406
00:20:50,457 --> 00:20:52,834
Now we're folk-singing'
players packing' Beaujolais
407
00:20:52,917 --> 00:20:56,254
And making' max contributions
to our 401K
408
00:20:56,337 --> 00:20:57,672
Peace out.
(CHEERING)
30654
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