Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:22,605 --> 00:00:24,899
Welcome back to
the Clippie Awards,
2
00:00:24,982 --> 00:00:28,319
honoring the year's most
accomplished delivery boys.
3
00:00:28,402 --> 00:00:32,490
Our next category is
Best Newcomer on a Bicycle.
4
00:00:32,782 --> 00:00:34,659
Good luck, Dwight.
(RINGS BELL)
5
00:00:34,992 --> 00:00:39,413
And the nominees are
Johnny Jensen from Rent-A-Cat,
6
00:00:39,497 --> 00:00:46,295
Nezzbin Zalgabarg, Ten-Minute
Underwear, and Dwight Conrad, Speedy Wig.
7
00:00:47,713 --> 00:00:49,966
And the Clippie goes to...
8
00:00:52,176 --> 00:00:54,303
Little Johnny Jensen!
9
00:00:59,141 --> 00:01:01,310
Don't feel bad, son.
10
00:01:01,477 --> 00:01:03,688
We couldn't be
more proud of you.
11
00:01:03,813 --> 00:01:05,565
Unless, of course,
you had won the award.
12
00:01:05,773 --> 00:01:08,401
Man, you're so lucky
to have your family here.
13
00:01:08,484 --> 00:01:10,903
The stupid professor
didn't even show up for me.
14
00:01:11,153 --> 00:01:14,240
I'd just like to
thank my awesome parents.
15
00:01:14,448 --> 00:01:16,117
We love you, Johnny!
16
00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:17,201
Shh!
17
00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:20,079
Now, to get all serious.
18
00:01:20,329 --> 00:01:23,457
It's time to pay tribute
to the brave delivery boys
19
00:01:23,541 --> 00:01:27,128
who gave their lives this
past year in the line of duty.
20
00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:31,007
Gene Tinker, bus.
21
00:01:31,924 --> 00:01:34,260
Charles Kiley, train.
22
00:01:35,511 --> 00:01:38,014
Mike Pisarik, lion.
23
00:01:39,765 --> 00:01:42,184
They're on
the truck to Heaven now.
24
00:01:43,227 --> 00:01:46,230
Up next, the award
for Best Delivery Boy,
25
00:01:46,355 --> 00:01:49,400
Newspaper, Phone Book,
or Miscellaneous.
26
00:01:49,525 --> 00:01:51,736
Miscellaneous, that's me.
27
00:01:52,528 --> 00:01:54,071
The nominees are
28
00:01:54,155 --> 00:02:00,453
Gene Tinker, Charles Kiley,
Mike Pisarik, and Philip J. Fry.
29
00:02:01,203 --> 00:02:03,080
And the Clippie goes to...
30
00:02:03,164 --> 00:02:04,540
(STRAINING)
31
00:02:05,374 --> 00:02:06,917
Philip J. Fry!
32
00:02:07,001 --> 00:02:08,669
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDS)
33
00:02:11,631 --> 00:02:13,341
Sign here.
34
00:02:15,384 --> 00:02:20,306
Wow! I'd like to thank the
Academy of Delivery Sciences,
35
00:02:20,389 --> 00:02:22,099
my lovely robot, Bender,
36
00:02:22,183 --> 00:02:26,187
and most of all, my dear
nephew, Professor Farnsworth.
37
00:02:28,356 --> 00:02:31,692
He always has time for me,
whether it's sending me on a delivery,
38
00:02:31,776 --> 00:02:35,488
or just pulling me aside to
tell me I'm doing a bad job.
39
00:02:35,571 --> 00:02:40,034
And why? Because he's family, and
family is always there for each other.
40
00:02:41,786 --> 00:02:45,373
I'm sorry, but I can't keep
reading this tissue of lies.
41
00:02:45,456 --> 00:02:49,627
The truth is, Professor
Farnsworth is a cold, heartless jerk!
42
00:02:53,464 --> 00:02:55,299
And the fish sticks
were limp!
43
00:03:00,346 --> 00:03:01,681
Ooh. Hefty.
44
00:03:01,764 --> 00:03:04,183
You could really bash
in a skull with this thing.
45
00:03:04,266 --> 00:03:05,768
I know, right?
46
00:03:07,978 --> 00:03:09,313
(CLEARING THROAT)
47
00:03:09,397 --> 00:03:13,609
What? Your awards show.
I'm sorry I couldn't make it,
48
00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:15,945
but I had a
very good reason.
49
00:03:16,070 --> 00:03:17,780
Perhaps you'd
favor us with it?
50
00:03:17,947 --> 00:03:20,658
My pleasure.
You see, I came down
51
00:03:20,783 --> 00:03:23,536
with a searing case
of "who-gives-a-crap?"
52
00:03:23,619 --> 00:03:24,787
(LAUGHING)
53
00:03:24,954 --> 00:03:26,247
(GROWLING)
54
00:03:27,081 --> 00:03:28,958
I wish I had more
living relatives.
55
00:03:29,041 --> 00:03:30,501
What about the
professor's parents?
56
00:03:30,626 --> 00:03:32,086
They're still alive?
57
00:03:32,169 --> 00:03:35,089
Sure, they exhibit
all the telltale signs.
58
00:03:35,172 --> 00:03:39,385
Toenails growing, hearts pumping
fluid, the whole shmagoigle.
59
00:03:39,510 --> 00:03:43,139
So where do these fossils
live? In sedimentary rock?
60
00:03:43,347 --> 00:03:46,559
(LAUGHING)
61
00:03:46,642 --> 00:03:49,645
No. According to
his next of kin file,
62
00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:53,399
they live in a virtual retirement
home on the Near-Death Star.
63
00:03:53,482 --> 00:03:57,820
I've been there. Let's boldly
go where we've gone before.
64
00:04:13,669 --> 00:04:16,088
Halt! Visitors
are forbidden.
65
00:04:16,255 --> 00:04:20,134
Oh, really? Does that rule
apply to Clippie winners?
66
00:04:20,217 --> 00:04:22,803
I'm sorry, sir.
Go right in.
67
00:04:24,263 --> 00:04:25,931
That's Philip J. Fry!
68
00:04:27,558 --> 00:04:33,022
Ned and Velma Farnsworth. 423,
Shadybrook Lane. Let's hover-roll.
69
00:04:35,816 --> 00:04:39,278
Fry, you're so confident
and take-charge on this trip.
70
00:04:39,361 --> 00:04:40,571
It's kind of a turn-on.
71
00:04:40,654 --> 00:04:43,115
Not now, Leela. I'm
trying to meet old people.
72
00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:52,833
(2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY
THEME SONG PLAYING)
73
00:04:52,917 --> 00:04:54,293
(DOOR BELL CHIMES)
74
00:04:57,463 --> 00:05:01,091
My God!
It's full of geezers.
75
00:05:11,393 --> 00:05:12,895
FRY: Hey, why are they
hooked up like that?
76
00:05:12,978 --> 00:05:15,648
Is it some kind of Craft-matic
adjustable death bed?
77
00:05:15,981 --> 00:05:17,817
(LAUGHS MOCKINGLY)
Don't be ridiculous.
78
00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:20,486
Their bodies are being
used to generate electricity.
79
00:05:20,569 --> 00:05:23,531
The idea came from an
old movie called The Matrix.
80
00:05:23,614 --> 00:05:27,827
But wouldn't almost anything make
a better battery than a human body?
81
00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:30,412
Like a potato?
Or a battery?
82
00:05:30,538 --> 00:05:32,665
Plus, no matter how much
energy they produced,
83
00:05:32,748 --> 00:05:35,167
it would take more energy
than that to keep them alive.
84
00:05:35,417 --> 00:05:37,962
I know, I know.
It sounds absurd.
85
00:05:38,087 --> 00:05:40,673
In fact, when The
Matrix first came out,
86
00:05:40,756 --> 00:05:42,758
it seemed like
the single crummiest,
87
00:05:42,883 --> 00:05:44,885
laziest, most awful,
dimwitted idea
88
00:05:45,010 --> 00:05:48,764
in the entire history of science
fiction, but it turned out to be true.
89
00:05:48,973 --> 00:05:50,099
Who knew?
90
00:05:50,266 --> 00:05:51,392
Good work, writer of The Matrix.
91
00:05:52,977 --> 00:05:55,187
FRY: This is it,
room 1119.
92
00:05:55,729 --> 00:05:57,898
Aw! It's my relatives.
93
00:05:58,107 --> 00:06:00,526
I'm gonna call them
Gram-gram and Shabba-doo.
94
00:06:00,609 --> 00:06:04,613
They look just like you,
Fry. Arms, legs, ugly.
95
00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:07,741
Too bad we can't visit
them in their virtual world.
96
00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:09,702
We can.
Just moisten your heads
97
00:06:09,785 --> 00:06:12,413
and put on these
real-to-virtual adapter caps.
98
00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:19,879
Hmm, electricity plus
hats with wires on them.
99
00:06:19,962 --> 00:06:21,380
Are you sure
this is safe?
100
00:06:21,463 --> 00:06:24,133
It's not just safe,
it's 40% safe.
101
00:06:25,551 --> 00:06:27,720
(SCREAMING)
102
00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:39,023
Bender is falling!
103
00:06:40,107 --> 00:06:41,108
Whoa!
104
00:06:51,035 --> 00:06:52,494
Told you it was safe.
105
00:06:57,082 --> 00:07:00,836
So this is my relatives'
virtual old-folks home?
106
00:07:10,763 --> 00:07:15,017
There's only one word for it.
Terrible. And also horrible.
107
00:07:15,559 --> 00:07:19,063
This is their room. They're
gonna be so excited to meet me.
108
00:07:22,024 --> 00:07:23,859
Hi. I'm your
distant relative.
109
00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:28,614
Forget it, you flimflammer. I
can smell a scam a mile away.
110
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:34,954
Reverse mortgages. Get
your reverse mortgages here.
111
00:07:35,037 --> 00:07:37,414
Come in, come in.
112
00:07:39,208 --> 00:07:41,418
So you're really
my grandson, huh?
113
00:07:41,502 --> 00:07:43,379
Well, it's not
quite that simple.
114
00:07:43,545 --> 00:07:45,422
See, I got frozen,
and your son,
115
00:07:45,506 --> 00:07:48,634
Professor Farnsworth, IS my
great-great-great- great-great-great...
116
00:07:48,717 --> 00:07:50,803
Eh?
What?
117
00:07:50,886 --> 00:07:53,138
Yep, I'm your
grandson all right.
118
00:07:53,222 --> 00:07:56,058
A grandson?
My, you're a big boy.
119
00:07:56,392 --> 00:07:58,936
What are you,
a junior in high school?
120
00:07:59,019 --> 00:08:00,312
Most recently, yes.
121
00:08:00,396 --> 00:08:02,147
Oh, you look so thin.
122
00:08:02,231 --> 00:08:05,359
Can I offer you some
virtual ham casserole?
123
00:08:05,442 --> 00:08:07,695
Sounds delicious.
124
00:08:08,237 --> 00:08:09,738
Mmm.
125
00:08:10,030 --> 00:08:13,993
Oh, nobody's eaten my
food like that in ages.
126
00:08:14,284 --> 00:08:17,121
I don't cook much since
we moved out of reality.
127
00:08:22,292 --> 00:08:24,211
(SNORING)
128
00:08:25,921 --> 00:08:28,007
And that's how I got
this scar above my eye.
129
00:08:28,090 --> 00:08:30,134
And this fork
inside my lung.
130
00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:35,723
That's a doozy. Hey, look at
this. I can pull my thumb off.
131
00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:38,308
Stop, Shabba-doo,
you're freaking me out.
132
00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:40,602
Don't let him
get your nose.
133
00:08:40,686 --> 00:08:42,062
(ALL LAUGHING)
134
00:08:43,605 --> 00:08:45,399
Oh, Lord.
135
00:08:46,275 --> 00:08:49,695
It's so nice to have more family.
All I had was the Professor,
136
00:08:49,778 --> 00:08:51,697
and he's kind of
crotchety and moldy.
137
00:08:51,947 --> 00:08:54,033
You should have seen him
when he was little.
138
00:08:54,116 --> 00:08:57,161
My golly, he was
crotchety and moldy.
139
00:08:57,244 --> 00:08:59,663
We miss him terribly,
but it sure has
140
00:08:59,788 --> 00:09:02,207
been nice spending
time with you.
141
00:09:02,291 --> 00:09:04,710
It gets lonely and
depressing around here,
142
00:09:04,793 --> 00:09:06,712
with no entertainment
except the
143
00:09:06,795 --> 00:09:08,338
(SHOUTS)
rigged Bingo!
144
00:09:08,422 --> 00:09:09,798
MAN: (THROUGH WALL)
Prove it, loser!
145
00:09:10,382 --> 00:09:13,135
Well, we should get going. It
was great to meet you, though,
146
00:09:13,218 --> 00:09:16,513
and hear about how bursitis
transcends physical existence.
147
00:09:17,473 --> 00:09:19,475
Keep up with
your studies, huh?
148
00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:22,478
What? Oh, God,
I'm still here?
149
00:09:24,146 --> 00:09:26,565
I'll miss you guys!
150
00:09:30,778 --> 00:09:34,990
I don't think Gram-gram likes that
place. And I know Shabba-don't.
151
00:09:35,115 --> 00:09:36,992
I sure wish they
could come with us.
152
00:09:40,245 --> 00:09:42,289
(ALARM BLARING)
153
00:09:42,623 --> 00:09:44,583
Elder abuse! Elder abuse!
Elder abuse! Elder abuse!
154
00:09:44,666 --> 00:09:46,251
Elder abuse! Elder abuse!
Elder abuse! Elder abuse!
155
00:09:46,502 --> 00:09:47,586
Go it! Fastly!
156
00:09:47,836 --> 00:09:49,713
(ENGINE CRANKING)
157
00:09:49,838 --> 00:09:52,091
It won't start.
The batteries are dead.
158
00:09:55,177 --> 00:09:57,721
Oh, I'm about to lose
history's greatest life
159
00:09:57,846 --> 00:10:00,432
all because of some
useless old people.
160
00:10:00,516 --> 00:10:03,727
They're not useless.
They can cook ham casserole,
161
00:10:04,019 --> 00:10:08,107
and watch TV at incredible
volume, and they generate electricity.
162
00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:09,191
(GASPS) That's it!
163
00:10:13,278 --> 00:10:14,279
(ENGINE STARTS)
164
00:10:25,082 --> 00:10:27,751
We can cut them off.
Turn left at Miriam Feinberg.
165
00:10:29,545 --> 00:10:30,546
I meant Feingold!
166
00:10:42,891 --> 00:10:45,727
It's so nice to meet
the Professor's parents.
167
00:10:45,936 --> 00:10:49,106
I'm Dr. ZOIDBERG.
I'm very important.
168
00:10:49,189 --> 00:10:51,942
Hey, ZOIDBERG, you forgot
to empty this trash can.
169
00:10:52,025 --> 00:10:53,402
Don't hit me!
170
00:10:54,361 --> 00:10:57,322
I bet the Professor will
be thrilled to see you again.
171
00:10:57,447 --> 00:11:00,993
Oh, Professor. Some special
old people are here for you.
172
00:11:01,076 --> 00:11:03,620
Are they my zombies from
Hammacher Schlemmer?
173
00:11:03,704 --> 00:11:04,705
(GASPS)
174
00:11:04,788 --> 00:11:06,415
Mama? Daddy?
175
00:11:06,790 --> 00:11:08,876
Son!
Hey, kiddo!
176
00:11:09,543 --> 00:11:13,630
Leave me alone! I never
want to see you again!
177
00:11:15,090 --> 00:11:16,842
What crawled up
his Geritol?
178
00:11:16,925 --> 00:11:18,969
Well, to be honest,
179
00:11:19,052 --> 00:11:21,930
a few troubling things
did happen in our past.
180
00:11:22,139 --> 00:11:25,225
Lady, all of human history
happened in your past!
181
00:11:25,309 --> 00:11:26,602
(LAUGHS)
182
00:11:26,852 --> 00:11:30,689
Ah, let's not let those
dark days ruin our visit.
183
00:11:30,772 --> 00:11:34,234
Philip, what do you say we
go out today and live it up?
184
00:11:34,359 --> 00:11:37,529
"Live it up"? I'll be
surprised if you live it out!
185
00:11:37,654 --> 00:11:40,699
(LAUGHS) Whoo! You're on fire!
186
00:12:18,153 --> 00:12:20,322
(LAUGHING)
187
00:12:20,822 --> 00:12:23,283
Whoa! Looks like
you guys had fun.
188
00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:25,619
Did we ever!
Gram-gram fell down at the
189
00:12:25,744 --> 00:12:27,871
ice cream store and
we got free ice cream!
190
00:12:28,163 --> 00:12:30,249
Now let's all go take a nap!
191
00:12:30,332 --> 00:12:32,042
(WHOOPING)
192
00:13:00,862 --> 00:13:03,615
Professor, Amy and I
are concerned that... Oh!
193
00:13:03,699 --> 00:13:05,367
(SOBBING)
194
00:13:07,703 --> 00:13:09,663
Aw, what's wrong?
195
00:13:10,122 --> 00:13:14,334
I just want my parents to
love me. God, how I hate them!
196
00:13:14,418 --> 00:13:16,128
Of course they love you!
197
00:13:16,211 --> 00:13:19,715
Not like they love Fry! They
never played with me like that.
198
00:13:19,881 --> 00:13:23,635
They were always "too
tired." Oh, what awful parents!
199
00:13:23,844 --> 00:13:26,805
Come closer. I'll tell
you the whole story.
200
00:13:27,222 --> 00:13:30,017
Tell you what. Let's get an
opaque bubble layer going.
201
00:13:33,395 --> 00:13:34,396
Okay, go.
202
00:13:34,730 --> 00:13:37,649
It all started
a century and a half ago.
203
00:13:39,026 --> 00:13:42,362
I had a perfectly normal
adolescence in New New York.
204
00:13:42,529 --> 00:13:45,115
But my parents were simple
hedge fund managers
205
00:13:45,198 --> 00:13:47,993
who couldn't appreciate
my interest in science.
206
00:13:48,243 --> 00:13:50,746
Mom, Dad,
look what I made!
207
00:13:51,038 --> 00:13:54,082
(YAWNING)
That's wonderful, dear.
208
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,918
Here you go, Squeakers.
209
00:13:58,670 --> 00:14:01,798
I was accepted to
MIT at the age of 14,
210
00:14:01,882 --> 00:14:05,802
but my parents crushed my
dreams like a discarded frog head.
211
00:14:06,136 --> 00:14:08,847
Honey, I'm afraid
we can't let you go.
212
00:14:08,930 --> 00:14:12,184
You're just not emotionally
mature enough for college yet.
213
00:14:12,267 --> 00:14:14,269
(IMITATING)
"Not mature enough..."
214
00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:15,354
(SHRIEKS)
215
00:14:15,437 --> 00:14:16,813
(BLUBBERING)
216
00:14:16,897 --> 00:14:19,191
Worried that city
life was filling my head
217
00:14:19,316 --> 00:14:21,651
with an unhealthy
respect for education,
218
00:14:21,735 --> 00:14:25,614
my parents moved us
to a peaceful farm.
219
00:14:25,989 --> 00:14:27,741
(WAILING)
220
00:14:28,116 --> 00:14:29,326
I think that's sweet.
221
00:14:29,451 --> 00:14:30,702
Oh, shut up!
222
00:14:33,538 --> 00:14:35,916
You're all I have left,
Squeakers.
223
00:14:35,999 --> 00:14:37,334
(BIRD SQUAWKS)
224
00:14:37,793 --> 00:14:39,294
(WAILING)
225
00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:43,131
Oh, God, I hated that place. My
parents kept me there for years.
226
00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:48,095
So when I finally ran away, I
vowed never to speak to them again!
227
00:14:48,178 --> 00:14:51,473
That's a really sad and
long story, Professor.
228
00:14:51,556 --> 00:14:54,393
But you'll never get over this
unless you go to your parents now
229
00:14:54,518 --> 00:14:56,895
and tell them
honestly how you feel.
230
00:14:57,145 --> 00:15:00,273
(SNIFFLING)
You're right. I will.
231
00:15:01,483 --> 00:15:03,735
Oh, I hate you,
I hate you, I hate you!
232
00:15:03,819 --> 00:15:06,321
You ruined my life!
Goodbye!
233
00:15:06,822 --> 00:15:08,448
(WAILING)
234
00:15:14,454 --> 00:15:17,749
That is one crazy,
uncircumcised old man.
235
00:15:22,921 --> 00:15:23,964
(DOOR OPENS)
236
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:26,925
I almost headed off the
Professor at the East River,
237
00:15:27,008 --> 00:15:28,427
but the wind
caught his skin flaps
238
00:15:28,510 --> 00:15:31,096
and sent him parasailing
over the Queensboro Bridge.
239
00:15:31,221 --> 00:15:33,974
Why would he go to Queens?
He doesn't need tires.
240
00:15:34,766 --> 00:15:36,852
Our old farm was in Queens.
241
00:15:36,935 --> 00:15:39,688
He must've gone back there
to defile it with his nudity!
242
00:15:39,771 --> 00:15:41,231
Come on, hurry!
243
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:42,858
(GROANING)
244
00:15:45,902 --> 00:15:48,405
Why are you so eager
to find the Professor, Fry?
245
00:15:48,488 --> 00:15:49,781
Aren't you mad at him?
246
00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:52,242
Of course I'm mad.
That's been established.
247
00:15:52,325 --> 00:15:55,203
I just want to find him for
Gram-gram and Shabba-doo's sake.
248
00:15:55,787 --> 00:15:56,788
Who?
249
00:15:56,872 --> 00:15:59,416
Faster, faster!
Okay, stop short!
250
00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:01,251
(GRUNTS)
251
00:16:03,253 --> 00:16:04,713
There's the old place.
252
00:16:06,298 --> 00:16:08,341
Hasn't changed a bit.
253
00:16:08,425 --> 00:16:10,677
Put on your glasses,
sweetie.
254
00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:11,761
Ahh!
255
00:16:15,891 --> 00:16:16,892
(FARNSWORTH BLUBBERING)
256
00:16:17,225 --> 00:16:18,810
(GASPS)
I hear something.
257
00:16:23,273 --> 00:16:25,317
(CRYING)
258
00:16:25,567 --> 00:16:26,693
It's the Professor.
259
00:16:27,777 --> 00:16:30,030
Yes, everyone
look at the freak.
260
00:16:30,113 --> 00:16:33,325
His parents didn't love
him, so they kept him here,
261
00:16:33,408 --> 00:16:37,412
100 miles from the nearest
microscope! (SNIFFLES)
262
00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:39,748
Why? Why?
263
00:16:39,873 --> 00:16:40,874
(SIGHS)
264
00:16:40,957 --> 00:16:44,461
He deserves the truth, Velma. I
think he's old enough to handle it.
265
00:16:45,253 --> 00:16:50,342
Cupcake, we never told you
this, but you had an older brother.
266
00:16:51,468 --> 00:16:52,469
(EXCLAIMS IN SURPRISE)
267
00:16:54,387 --> 00:16:56,890
GRAM-GRAM: In many ways,
he was like you.
268
00:16:56,973 --> 00:17:00,560
He loved science and was
desperate to go to college.
269
00:17:00,644 --> 00:17:02,938
He even looked
a little like you.
270
00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:07,192
But the sad fact was...
271
00:17:07,275 --> 00:17:10,278
Oh, how can I
put this delicately?
272
00:17:10,362 --> 00:17:12,531
He was a crazy-ass
nut job!
273
00:17:12,614 --> 00:17:15,033
Thank you, Ned.
But so what?
274
00:17:15,116 --> 00:17:19,037
He was our crazy-ass
nut job, and we loved him.
275
00:17:19,287 --> 00:17:20,914
(SHRIEKING)
276
00:17:20,997 --> 00:17:24,668
GRAM-GRAM: Every night, the
poor boy had terrors in his sleep.
277
00:17:24,876 --> 00:17:27,462
His pajamas would
be soaked with sweat.
278
00:17:27,671 --> 00:17:29,881
Yeah, sweat. Right.
279
00:17:30,048 --> 00:17:32,884
GRAM-GRAM: We'd stay
at his bedside all night.
280
00:17:32,968 --> 00:17:36,471
And whenever he'd start
moaning and sweating his pants,
281
00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:39,266
we'd read to him
from his favorite book.
282
00:17:39,641 --> 00:17:45,689
Eighty-one, thallium. Eighty-two,
lead. Eighty-three, bismuth.
283
00:17:46,147 --> 00:17:49,317
SHABBA-DOO: The poor little psycho
never could've survived on his own.
284
00:17:49,401 --> 00:17:51,903
So we kept him on the
farm as long as we could.
285
00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:55,240
GRAM-GRAM: (SNIFFLES)
But one night, he ran away,
286
00:17:55,323 --> 00:17:57,993
taking nothing but
the clothes on his back.
287
00:17:58,076 --> 00:17:59,661
(WHOOPING)
288
00:18:00,954 --> 00:18:01,955
Whoa!
289
00:18:07,002 --> 00:18:10,672
GRAM-GRAM: He was admitted
to a prestigious institution.
290
00:18:10,964 --> 00:18:13,341
A mental institution!
291
00:18:13,508 --> 00:18:18,680
SHABBA-DOO: Got himself a full wackademic
scholarship. And we never saw him again.
292
00:18:19,431 --> 00:18:22,183
We couldn't let you end
up like your older brother.
293
00:18:22,517 --> 00:18:24,769
That's why we
kept you on the farm,
294
00:18:24,853 --> 00:18:28,273
and helped you get your online
doctorate in Rodeo Studies.
295
00:18:28,523 --> 00:18:30,358
(STUTTERING)
Rodeo Studies?
296
00:18:30,567 --> 00:18:33,028
We did it out of
love for you, Floyd.
297
00:18:33,361 --> 00:18:36,990
Floyd? Who the hell's
Floyd? I'm Hubert!
298
00:18:37,198 --> 00:18:40,160
You're Hubert?
The older brother?
299
00:18:40,285 --> 00:18:41,536
(GASPING)
300
00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:44,706
But we thought you
were still in an institution!
301
00:18:44,789 --> 00:18:48,501
Oh, no, no.
I was out within 25 years.
302
00:18:48,585 --> 00:18:51,463
It felt like a minute
compared to grad school.
303
00:18:51,838 --> 00:18:55,550
Oh, Hubie, we're so
happy to see you again.
304
00:18:55,634 --> 00:19:00,180
Wait. Was all that true? Did you
really sit up with me every night?
305
00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:01,806
You bet, sport.
306
00:19:01,890 --> 00:19:04,851
That's why we were always
too tired to play with you.
307
00:19:04,934 --> 00:19:07,103
I'm so sorry we
never got the chance.
308
00:19:09,230 --> 00:19:12,359
Oh, Mama! Daddy!
309
00:19:12,859 --> 00:19:15,153
(SOBBING)
310
00:19:15,737 --> 00:19:16,696
Ahem!
311
00:19:16,780 --> 00:19:21,534
Ah, this may not be the best
time, but a couple years ago,
312
00:19:21,618 --> 00:19:23,328
a homeless rodeo
clown named Floyd
313
00:19:23,453 --> 00:19:25,163
came to the door
claiming he was...
314
00:19:25,246 --> 00:19:28,416
Bender! Why do you always
have to be the center of attention?
315
00:19:35,173 --> 00:19:38,927
You're sure you want to go
back to the Near-Death Star?
316
00:19:39,010 --> 00:19:43,223
My, yes. Our muscles
are sore, our bones ache.
317
00:19:43,306 --> 00:19:44,974
My damn skin even hurts.
318
00:19:45,058 --> 00:19:47,686
It's no dream house,
but we get fed through
319
00:19:47,811 --> 00:19:50,480
our spines and
the rent is reasonable.
320
00:19:53,983 --> 00:19:56,695
Don't worry. I'll come
back and visit sometime.
321
00:19:56,778 --> 00:20:00,907
How about December, when they
inject the holidays into our brains?
322
00:20:01,116 --> 00:20:02,951
That sounds nice, Gram-gram.
323
00:20:03,910 --> 00:20:06,496
Well, son, I guess
this is goodbye again.
324
00:20:06,621 --> 00:20:07,789
Not quite yet.
325
00:20:07,872 --> 00:20:11,793
I took the liberty of reprogramming
your retirement simulation.
326
00:20:13,128 --> 00:20:16,423
Why don't I come in for a
moment and show you around?
327
00:20:25,598 --> 00:20:29,227
Good virtual God!
It's our old farm.
328
00:20:29,310 --> 00:20:31,104
It's beautiful.
329
00:20:31,187 --> 00:20:35,066
Appearances. Just a simple
matter of appearances.
330
00:20:35,150 --> 00:20:36,484
Speaking of which...
331
00:20:38,653 --> 00:20:39,654
(BOTH GASPING)
332
00:20:42,157 --> 00:20:45,326
My boy!
My beautiful boy!
333
00:20:45,493 --> 00:20:49,080
One last chance to play,
if you're not too tired.
334
00:20:49,289 --> 00:20:52,250
Not too tired to chase you,
you cute little nut job!
335
00:20:52,333 --> 00:20:53,585
Come on, Velma.
336
00:20:53,710 --> 00:20:54,919
Someone needs tickles!
337
00:20:55,003 --> 00:20:57,422
I'm gonna get you!
Here I come!
338
00:20:57,547 --> 00:21:00,008
I almost got you!
Come here, you.
339
00:21:02,177 --> 00:21:03,511
(SQUEAKING)
25804
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof