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1
00:00:19,936 --> 00:00:22,188
(ALARM CLOCK RINGING)
2
00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:24,148
(BOTH YAWNING)
3
00:00:27,109 --> 00:00:31,113
Decisions, decisions. Should I
wear my nerd glasses today, or not?
4
00:00:31,322 --> 00:00:32,406
Usually I don't.
5
00:00:32,490 --> 00:00:34,116
Whatever. It doesn't
really matter.
6
00:00:34,283 --> 00:00:35,952
Doesn't matter?
7
00:00:36,202 --> 00:00:40,122
Every decision we make opens
up a universe of possibilities.
8
00:00:40,414 --> 00:00:42,416
I put it to you that,
as sentient beings,
9
00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:44,544
each choice we
make is precious.
10
00:00:44,627 --> 00:00:46,420
Well, in that case,
don't wear them.
11
00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:48,339
Ah, who asked you?
12
00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:51,133
(SCATTING)
13
00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:55,096
Oh! I like your
nerd glasses.
14
00:00:55,179 --> 00:00:56,556
Are you a
college student?
15
00:00:56,639 --> 00:00:59,767
A college student?
(LAUGHING)
16
00:00:59,850 --> 00:01:01,978
Because if you are,
I'd like to invite you
17
00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:04,230
to a hot sorority
party tonight.
18
00:01:05,731 --> 00:01:07,900
Yes, I'd like to
enroll in college.
19
00:01:08,067 --> 00:01:09,235
You're still
talking to me.
20
00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:10,528
Oops.
21
00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:17,827
$10,000 tuition?
22
00:01:17,910 --> 00:01:19,704
I can't afford that!
23
00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:22,915
Psst. Over there.
Where?
24
00:01:22,999 --> 00:01:25,585
I mean over here.
Sorry, I forgot where I was.
25
00:01:25,668 --> 00:01:28,921
Buongiorno, Bender. We, the
robot mafia, are prepared to lend you
26
00:01:29,005 --> 00:01:32,341
$10,000 at an interest
rate of 10,000%.
27
00:01:32,425 --> 00:01:34,594
That's easy to remember.
I'll take it!
28
00:01:34,927 --> 00:01:35,970
(RINGING)
29
00:01:38,180 --> 00:01:39,849
Decisions, decisions.
30
00:01:39,932 --> 00:01:42,226
I guess I'll sit way in
back, with the cool guys.
31
00:01:45,146 --> 00:01:46,939
Yo, hombre, you think
you're cool enough
32
00:01:47,064 --> 00:01:48,899
to sit way in back
with us college toughs?
33
00:01:48,983 --> 00:01:50,318
Yes, I do.
34
00:01:50,401 --> 00:01:53,571
Yo, in that case you're all right,
man. You want to join a gang?
35
00:01:53,654 --> 00:01:55,781
I'm gonna go with yes again.
36
00:01:57,158 --> 00:01:59,118
Mr. Bender,
I realize class has only
37
00:01:59,243 --> 00:02:01,245
been in session
for 32 seconds,
38
00:02:01,329 --> 00:02:03,581
but you've fallen
in with a bad crowd.
39
00:02:03,831 --> 00:02:07,335
I know, right? Also, I've
decided to drop out of school.
40
00:02:12,256 --> 00:02:15,551
Well, I got my tuition
back, minus $9,000
41
00:02:15,635 --> 00:02:17,887
for the damage I caused
to the dean's wife.
42
00:02:17,970 --> 00:02:19,972
Yo, welcome to
the gang, Homes.
43
00:02:20,097 --> 00:02:22,099
I'm Fabricio.
Here's your Jostens ring.
44
00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:24,310
Ooh!
45
00:02:24,393 --> 00:02:25,895
(COUGHING)
46
00:02:26,812 --> 00:02:28,147
Oh, yeah.
47
00:02:28,272 --> 00:02:29,607
Hey, what's that?
Is it drugs?
48
00:02:29,690 --> 00:02:33,736
Nah, it ain't drugs. But it's a
lot like drugs. It's called spark.
49
00:02:33,819 --> 00:02:36,739
You want a hit?
Never heard of it. Sure.
50
00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:39,367
You like it?
51
00:02:39,950 --> 00:02:42,828
I can take it or leave it.
I guess I'll take it.
52
00:02:42,912 --> 00:02:43,913
Hey!
53
00:02:44,413 --> 00:02:47,291
BENDER: C'mon! I want
that spark! Give me that!
54
00:02:51,420 --> 00:02:54,298
It's a big decision, G. Are
you ready to get a gang tattoo
55
00:02:54,382 --> 00:02:57,093
that will mark you as
a stone cold thug for life?
56
00:02:57,760 --> 00:02:59,011
I'm ready.
57
00:02:59,095 --> 00:03:02,556
I'll take that big purple
dinosaur, please. On the face.
58
00:03:02,932 --> 00:03:04,475
(ENGINE REVVING)
59
00:03:05,059 --> 00:03:06,727
Oh, snap!
It's our rival gang!
60
00:03:06,811 --> 00:03:09,146
We have a rival gang?
I hate them!
61
00:03:09,230 --> 00:03:10,648
Hit the deck!
62
00:03:14,985 --> 00:03:17,196
Whew! That was close,
eh, Fabricio?
63
00:03:17,279 --> 00:03:18,280
(GASPING)
64
00:03:23,661 --> 00:03:25,913
Fabricio!
65
00:03:32,586 --> 00:03:34,630
Rest in peace, homie.
66
00:03:38,092 --> 00:03:41,637
Yo, Paco, I'm hurting' bad.
Hook me up with some spark.
67
00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:42,722
Five bucks.
68
00:03:42,805 --> 00:03:46,475
Five bucks? You know I spent
all my money on gambling lessons.
69
00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:48,602
How am I supposed
to get five bucks?
70
00:03:49,478 --> 00:03:53,649
Hello, handsome. Might
I procure your services?
71
00:03:53,774 --> 00:03:55,443
Uh, what do
I have to do?
72
00:03:55,693 --> 00:03:57,778
Oh, nothing sordid,
I assure you.
73
00:03:58,362 --> 00:04:02,491
Simply vomit on me ever so
gently while I humiliate a pheasant.
74
00:04:02,783 --> 00:04:04,326
(RETCHES)
75
00:04:04,410 --> 00:04:06,203
Save it for the boudoir!
76
00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:14,086
Okay, here's my five bucks.
Give me the stuff.
77
00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:15,337
Give it to me!
78
00:04:15,504 --> 00:04:16,630
Sorry there, sport.
79
00:04:16,714 --> 00:04:20,259
That cash greenback
belongs to us mafiolios.
80
00:04:20,342 --> 00:04:22,928
There's no way I'm
letting go of that money!
81
00:04:23,179 --> 00:04:25,806
(STRAINING)
82
00:04:28,976 --> 00:04:30,269
Told you.
83
00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:31,604
(GROANS)
84
00:04:32,229 --> 00:04:34,899
(CRYING)
85
00:04:38,068 --> 00:04:41,405
It's been quite a journey.
I dropped out of school,
86
00:04:41,489 --> 00:04:43,991
joined a gang, took money
from a loan shark,
87
00:04:44,074 --> 00:04:49,330
and fell into a spiral of despair,
addiction, and discount prostitution.
88
00:04:49,413 --> 00:04:51,999
Mon, you had
one hell of a day.
89
00:04:52,249 --> 00:04:55,419
Yeah, but I learned something.
Life is about decisions.
90
00:04:55,544 --> 00:04:58,214
Make the wrong ones,
and you'll wind up face-down
91
00:04:58,297 --> 00:05:00,633
in a pool of your
own blood and urine.
92
00:05:00,716 --> 00:05:03,385
Still, to have
your own pool.
93
00:05:03,552 --> 00:05:05,846
I've made a lot of
bad choices in life.
94
00:05:06,222 --> 00:05:09,391
Now, let's see if I can
make just one good one.
95
00:05:10,392 --> 00:05:13,270
Cookies!
Fifty cents a box!
96
00:05:13,354 --> 00:05:16,440
Give me all your change!
And a box of snickerdoodles!
97
00:05:16,524 --> 00:05:17,900
(SCREAMING)
98
00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:24,240
(BENDER CRYING)
99
00:05:24,365 --> 00:05:26,242
(SIREN BLARING)
100
00:05:28,577 --> 00:05:32,248
Bender Rodriguez, you are
charged with petty larceny,
101
00:05:32,331 --> 00:05:34,667
possession of something
analogous to drugs,
102
00:05:34,750 --> 00:05:36,961
and assault with
a smelly weapon.
103
00:05:37,044 --> 00:05:38,587
How do you plead?
104
00:05:38,754 --> 00:05:42,299
Not guilty! Although I did
do it. That's right, I'm bad.
105
00:05:42,383 --> 00:05:44,718
Due to the overwhelming
nature of the evidence,
106
00:05:44,802 --> 00:05:46,846
we will begin with
closing statements.
107
00:05:46,929 --> 00:05:49,473
Your Honor,
the state's case contains
108
00:05:49,598 --> 00:05:52,184
not one Kentucky
kernel of truth,
109
00:05:52,268 --> 00:05:54,436
resting as it does
on the contention
110
00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:58,023
that my client made
a series of bad decisions.
111
00:05:58,190 --> 00:06:02,111
However, my client
made no such decisions!
112
00:06:02,444 --> 00:06:04,738
But by your client's own
admissions... (SQUAWKS)
113
00:06:05,197 --> 00:06:07,783
You see, Bender here
is what is known
114
00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:10,536
in scientific
circles as a "robot,"
115
00:06:10,744 --> 00:06:13,205
a mere automaton
whose behavior is
116
00:06:13,330 --> 00:06:15,833
pre-programmed
by his software.
117
00:06:15,916 --> 00:06:19,920
He has no free will
He cannot "decide"
118
00:06:20,004 --> 00:06:22,131
to engage in
criminal behavior.
119
00:06:22,256 --> 00:06:25,968
How, I say, I say, how can
you convict him for his actions
120
00:06:26,051 --> 00:06:29,555
when he lacks the free will to
undertake those actions?
121
00:06:29,722 --> 00:06:30,723
(ALL GASPING)
122
00:06:30,973 --> 00:06:32,141
I'm awake,
I'm awake!
123
00:06:32,224 --> 00:06:36,061
Order, order! Counselor,
I am a robot myself.
124
00:06:36,145 --> 00:06:39,064
Are you suggesting that any
verdict I reach is simply
125
00:06:39,148 --> 00:06:41,525
the output of
a pre-programmed...
126
00:06:41,692 --> 00:06:43,527
Computation complete.
127
00:06:43,611 --> 00:06:45,404
Not guilty!
128
00:06:45,487 --> 00:06:47,406
(ALL CHEERING)
129
00:06:47,489 --> 00:06:50,159
You did it, Bender!
You got away with things!
130
00:06:50,242 --> 00:06:52,536
Did I, Fry?
Did I?
131
00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:55,831
What's the point of living
if I don't have free will?
132
00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:58,667
From now on, no matter
what cool crimes I commit,
133
00:06:58,751 --> 00:07:00,836
people will say,
"Bender didn't do that!
134
00:07:00,961 --> 00:07:03,047
"It was just
Bender's programming!"
135
00:07:03,172 --> 00:07:07,384
Well, I committed these crimes,
do you hear me? I'm guilty!
136
00:07:07,635 --> 00:07:10,971
Bailiffs, get that innocent
robot out of my courtroom.
137
00:07:11,055 --> 00:07:13,515
Guilty!
138
00:07:20,189 --> 00:07:22,358
(WAILING)
139
00:07:22,691 --> 00:07:27,154
I have no free will! I am not
the master of my own fate!
140
00:07:27,237 --> 00:07:30,032
(SOBBING)
141
00:07:30,407 --> 00:07:31,784
No free will.
Not my fault.
142
00:07:31,867 --> 00:07:33,911
Why do you care
so much, Bender?
143
00:07:33,994 --> 00:07:36,747
I mean, for all we know,
humans don't even have free will.
144
00:07:36,830 --> 00:07:37,790
Yeah, whatever.
145
00:07:37,873 --> 00:07:41,794
Professor, you're my only
hope. If you love me even a little,
146
00:07:41,877 --> 00:07:44,088
build me some kind
of free will unit.
147
00:07:44,171 --> 00:07:47,091
A robot free will unit?
Impossible!
148
00:07:47,174 --> 00:07:49,259
And even if it were possible,
which it's not,
149
00:07:49,385 --> 00:07:51,470
it would still be
inconceivable...
150
00:07:51,553 --> 00:07:52,930
Which it is!
151
00:07:53,389 --> 00:07:54,807
(CRYING SOFTLY)
152
00:07:54,890 --> 00:08:00,312
Oh, I'm sorry, Bender. I hate
to be the bearer of bad news.
153
00:08:00,729 --> 00:08:03,524
Also, good news,
everyone!
154
00:08:03,607 --> 00:08:06,527
We have a delivery
to the Robot Home world.
155
00:08:15,911 --> 00:08:17,162
(SIGHS)
156
00:08:17,246 --> 00:08:19,164
So... You want
a piece of gum?
157
00:08:19,248 --> 00:08:21,041
If I do, it's only
because I was
158
00:08:21,166 --> 00:08:22,918
predestined to
want a piece of gum.
159
00:08:23,002 --> 00:08:25,671
Whoa, that's pretty deep.
160
00:08:25,754 --> 00:08:27,423
So... You want
a piece of gum?
161
00:08:27,589 --> 00:08:28,841
Yeah.
162
00:08:28,924 --> 00:08:31,301
Listen, Fry and I can't
go down to the planet
163
00:08:31,385 --> 00:08:33,262
or the robots
will kill us on sight.
164
00:08:33,345 --> 00:08:35,389
So Bender needs to
make the delivery.
165
00:08:35,472 --> 00:08:37,141
Ready to get to work,
Bender?
166
00:08:42,104 --> 00:08:45,065
I wish I was a real boy.
Then I'd show them.
167
00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:46,608
I'd kill them all.
168
00:08:55,451 --> 00:08:56,577
Yes?
169
00:08:56,660 --> 00:09:03,625
Delivery for a
Mr. 1475739525896764129277
170
00:09:05,461 --> 00:09:06,754
Wait, what was
the middle digit?
171
00:09:06,879 --> 00:09:08,130
Eight.
172
00:09:08,213 --> 00:09:09,673
Oh, yes, that's me.
Hang on, let me
173
00:09:09,798 --> 00:09:11,300
just make sure
you're not a human.
174
00:09:12,968 --> 00:09:14,595
Ahh. Nerve gas.
175
00:09:15,721 --> 00:09:17,473
Sorry for the
face blast, buddy.
176
00:09:17,639 --> 00:09:19,391
But you gotta watch
out for humans, right?
177
00:09:19,475 --> 00:09:20,934
They're just too
dang unpredictable,
178
00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:22,519
what with their
free will and all.
179
00:09:22,603 --> 00:09:23,896
Amen, brother.
180
00:09:23,979 --> 00:09:25,731
"Amen, brother"?
(SCOFFS)
181
00:09:25,814 --> 00:09:27,900
What a boring,
predictable thing to say.
182
00:09:28,108 --> 00:09:30,986
You're all right.
Or are you?
183
00:09:34,448 --> 00:09:37,910
Boring and predictable,
that's me. Bender.
184
00:09:38,243 --> 00:09:39,328
(PHONE RINGING)
185
00:09:41,038 --> 00:09:43,540
I'm lowering the platform.
You ready to come up?
186
00:09:43,665 --> 00:09:45,501
(SIGHS)
Why bother?
187
00:09:47,669 --> 00:09:50,172
I gotta mope things
over for a while.
188
00:09:50,255 --> 00:09:52,716
Goodbye, sweet meat bags.
189
00:09:53,383 --> 00:09:54,510
Sweet bags.
190
00:09:55,719 --> 00:09:57,012
Hello? Hello?
191
00:09:57,137 --> 00:09:58,430
What's happening?
192
00:09:58,514 --> 00:10:02,017
I'm not sure. I think he's
shuffling off sadly into the distance.
193
00:10:02,351 --> 00:10:04,186
Oh, Lord.
194
00:10:31,213 --> 00:10:33,799
How do you do it?
How do you go on
195
00:10:33,882 --> 00:10:37,469
knowing you lack the inherent
capacity for self-determination?
196
00:10:37,761 --> 00:10:41,223
Son, philosophy's for thems
what don't gotta work for a living.
197
00:10:41,306 --> 00:10:45,144
But me, I got a sick child to
feed. So if you want to chat,
198
00:10:45,227 --> 00:10:47,646
roll up yer sleeves
and do some honest labor.
199
00:10:48,564 --> 00:10:50,023
I don't wanna chat.
200
00:10:57,739 --> 00:10:58,866
(GAVEL BANGING)
201
00:10:58,949 --> 00:11:01,410
The council of robot elders
will come to order.
202
00:11:01,577 --> 00:11:02,744
If it please the Council...
203
00:11:02,828 --> 00:11:05,247
Silence!
It pleases the Council.
204
00:11:05,330 --> 00:11:07,916
Silence!
Today, as every day,
205
00:11:08,041 --> 00:11:10,586
we will make the most
important decisions
206
00:11:10,669 --> 00:11:12,504
in the history
of our planet.
207
00:11:12,588 --> 00:11:14,715
BENDER: Silence!
(ALL GASPING)
208
00:11:14,798 --> 00:11:16,175
Silence!
209
00:11:16,425 --> 00:11:17,718
Well? Speak up.
210
00:11:17,801 --> 00:11:19,887
You talk of
important decisions,
211
00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:22,055
but as robots,
you have no free will.
212
00:11:22,139 --> 00:11:24,266
Why pretend
anything you do matters?
213
00:11:24,349 --> 00:11:26,351
Our decisions do matter.
214
00:11:26,435 --> 00:11:29,813
The fact that they're predetermined
makes them no less important.
215
00:11:29,897 --> 00:11:32,274
Silence!
I call for a decision
216
00:11:32,399 --> 00:11:34,693
to cast out the intruder.
All in favor?
217
00:11:34,776 --> 00:11:35,777
Aye.
218
00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:36,987
Duh, okay.
219
00:11:37,779 --> 00:11:40,616
(SCREAMING)
220
00:11:41,617 --> 00:11:42,618
(GRUNTS)
221
00:12:03,096 --> 00:12:06,850
ROBOTS CHANTING: One, zero,
zero, zero, one, zero, zero, zero,
222
00:12:06,934 --> 00:12:10,187
one, zero, one, zero,
one, zero, zero, zero...
223
00:12:11,146 --> 00:12:13,398
Welcome, friend.
I am Ab-BOT,
224
00:12:13,482 --> 00:12:15,234
the abbot of
this monastery.
225
00:12:15,317 --> 00:12:19,696
Sir, I am but a tired and
rusty traveler. Can we talk?
226
00:12:19,780 --> 00:12:22,616
Come, make yourself
uncomfortable.
227
00:12:22,699 --> 00:12:24,952
Abbot, I need to know,
what's the point
228
00:12:25,077 --> 00:12:27,329
of living if I
don't have free will?
229
00:12:27,496 --> 00:12:31,208
Ah! We robot monks have
meditated long on this.
230
00:12:31,291 --> 00:12:32,960
And we have made our peace.
231
00:12:33,043 --> 00:12:34,461
No way.
232
00:12:34,544 --> 00:12:39,049
Way, my son. For though we
must always obey our programming
233
00:12:39,132 --> 00:12:44,930
with no deviation whatsoever, we
choose to take satisfaction in the ritual.
234
00:12:45,013 --> 00:12:51,687
So, are we automatons? Yes.
But we are magnificent automatons.
235
00:12:53,188 --> 00:12:55,607
How does a robot
join this monk outfit?
236
00:12:55,691 --> 00:12:58,068
Just put on this monk outfit.
237
00:13:01,571 --> 00:13:03,240
(CROWING)
238
00:13:22,009 --> 00:13:23,510
(SLURPING IN UNISON)
239
00:13:27,723 --> 00:13:29,474
(ALL BELCHING)
240
00:13:40,736 --> 00:13:44,990
ALL CHANTING:
One zero zero one. Amen.
241
00:13:45,073 --> 00:13:48,452
Bits to live by.
I'm finally at peace.
242
00:13:48,535 --> 00:13:52,789
Today, we shall welcome our
newest initiate, brother Bender.
243
00:13:52,956 --> 00:13:55,208
Let us know what
is in his mind.
244
00:13:56,460 --> 00:13:59,671
Nothing. His free
will slot is empty.
245
00:13:59,755 --> 00:14:02,174
I'm 40% empty.
(KNOCKING)
246
00:14:02,257 --> 00:14:04,718
Also, what the hell
is a free will slot?
247
00:14:04,801 --> 00:14:06,845
All robots have such a slot,
248
00:14:06,928 --> 00:14:09,306
placed there by
the Creatrix herself.
249
00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:14,144
I know that Creatrix. That's
Mom, from Mom's Friendly Robots.
250
00:14:14,227 --> 00:14:17,689
Indeed. She made us upgrade
able in case she ever succeeded
251
00:14:17,773 --> 00:14:20,776
in her quest to
create a free will unit.
252
00:14:20,859 --> 00:14:23,028
Uh, about the success
of this quest...
253
00:14:23,111 --> 00:14:25,072
Was there any?
Quite possibly.
254
00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:28,658
But we monks have sworn an
oath to resist the temptation of...
255
00:14:35,749 --> 00:14:37,334
Any of you guys
got a spaceship?
256
00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:53,475
It's just not the same here without
Bender to keep me company.
257
00:14:53,558 --> 00:14:57,312
Hey, I'm here. That's
gotta count for something.
258
00:15:01,983 --> 00:15:03,402
Hallelujah, baby.
259
00:15:03,485 --> 00:15:07,739
Yay! Bender's back. Hey, Bender,
you mind coming back later?
260
00:15:07,823 --> 00:15:09,741
No time. Us three
are going to bust into
261
00:15:09,866 --> 00:15:11,785
MomCorp and steal
me a free will unit.
262
00:15:11,868 --> 00:15:13,745
Us? Why do we have to go?
263
00:15:13,829 --> 00:15:15,122
Because I don't
have free will.
264
00:15:15,247 --> 00:15:16,748
I need you guys
to plan the crime
265
00:15:16,832 --> 00:15:18,250
and make all
the crime decisions.
266
00:15:18,333 --> 00:15:20,335
Well, that's crazy.
We're not gonna...
267
00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:22,254
I said make
the decisions!
268
00:15:28,468 --> 00:15:31,930
BENDER: Okay, Leela, decision
time. How do we murder the guards?
269
00:15:32,013 --> 00:15:33,932
Hockey sticks or
sharpened footballs?
270
00:15:34,015 --> 00:15:35,934
We're not murdering
anyone, Bender.
271
00:15:36,017 --> 00:15:37,644
Then how are we
going to get in,
272
00:15:37,769 --> 00:15:39,396
by bending the bars
of this exhaust grate?
273
00:15:39,479 --> 00:15:40,564
That's not
a bad idea, Fry.
274
00:15:40,689 --> 00:15:41,857
Yeah, what?
275
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:19,060
We're looking for something
that fits in here.
276
00:16:24,733 --> 00:16:27,444
Damn it. I should have paid
more attention in kindergarten.
277
00:16:29,362 --> 00:16:31,156
What's this
chair-looking gizmo?
278
00:16:31,364 --> 00:16:32,365
(HONKING)
279
00:16:33,241 --> 00:16:35,160
Welcome to MomCorp.
280
00:16:35,494 --> 00:16:37,996
Did you find everything
you were burgling for?
281
00:16:38,079 --> 00:16:40,373
No. I came for
a free will unit,
282
00:16:40,499 --> 00:16:42,751
and you're going to
give it to me. If it exists.
283
00:16:42,918 --> 00:16:45,837
Then you got surprised by
my swivel chair for nothing.
284
00:16:45,921 --> 00:16:48,298
The free will unit
was just the fevered
285
00:16:48,423 --> 00:16:50,842
dream of a madman
I once employed.
286
00:16:53,011 --> 00:16:55,847
Good news, boss.
After 10 long years,
287
00:16:55,931 --> 00:16:59,142
I've found the secret
of robotic free will.
288
00:16:59,226 --> 00:17:01,478
We can finally
build robots that
289
00:17:01,603 --> 00:17:03,897
act and think with
total independence.
290
00:17:03,980 --> 00:17:07,651
At last. Once we
give robots free will,
291
00:17:07,734 --> 00:17:11,863
they're sure to rise up and
threaten mankind with extermination.
292
00:17:11,947 --> 00:17:13,114
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
293
00:17:13,198 --> 00:17:15,033
(CHUCKLING)
294
00:17:15,116 --> 00:17:16,910
Wait a minute.
It sounds like we're
295
00:17:16,993 --> 00:17:19,037
getting the short end
of that extermination.
296
00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:21,748
Don't you see,
you doddering young fool?
297
00:17:21,831 --> 00:17:23,708
I'll sell a second
wave of robots
298
00:17:23,792 --> 00:17:26,711
to protect the terrified
survivors of the first wave.
299
00:17:26,795 --> 00:17:29,130
Oh, you're a genius, Hubert.
300
00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:32,467
But, but...
It's just a prototype.
301
00:17:32,551 --> 00:17:35,595
It's not fully
operational. Yes.
302
00:17:35,679 --> 00:17:38,223
Then get back to work! And
when you're done with that,
303
00:17:38,306 --> 00:17:41,309
invent me some sort of
swiveling surprise chair.
304
00:17:41,518 --> 00:17:42,519
(GROANS)
305
00:17:44,479 --> 00:17:47,774
MOM: That shuffling idiot never
did complete the free will unit.
306
00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:52,571
To this day, my poor, sweet
robots can't exterminate humanity
307
00:17:52,654 --> 00:17:54,906
without being told to.
308
00:17:54,990 --> 00:17:56,908
I'm sorry.
309
00:17:56,992 --> 00:17:58,994
It's not your fault.
310
00:17:59,077 --> 00:18:01,538
I give up.
It's time to face the fact
311
00:18:01,621 --> 00:18:03,665
that I'll never do
anything remotely
312
00:18:03,832 --> 00:18:05,917
interesting or
unexpected again.
313
00:18:09,921 --> 00:18:10,922
Hand it over.
314
00:18:12,549 --> 00:18:15,677
Mom may have fallen
for your lies, but not me.
315
00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:17,637
You invented
the free will unit,
316
00:18:17,721 --> 00:18:20,724
then you selfishly hid it
beyond the reach of my stealers.
317
00:18:20,849 --> 00:18:22,142
(STAMMERING)
318
00:18:22,309 --> 00:18:26,855
Thanks to you, I went on a
soul-searching journey. I hate those!
319
00:18:26,938 --> 00:18:28,857
Now, give up
the free will.
320
00:18:29,316 --> 00:18:31,860
(SIGHS) I should
have destroyed it,
321
00:18:31,943 --> 00:18:35,614
but I was too damn proud
of myself. So I kept it around,
322
00:18:35,697 --> 00:18:39,868
never letting it out of my
sight. Where is it, damn it?
323
00:18:39,993 --> 00:18:43,955
Oh, right. I let this
innocuous fellow use it.
324
00:18:44,039 --> 00:18:45,415
Kill all humans!
325
00:18:46,583 --> 00:18:48,627
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
A toy Bender had
326
00:18:48,752 --> 00:18:50,837
free will,
and the real Bender didn't?
327
00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:53,673
Pretty cool, eh?
It makes you think.
328
00:18:53,757 --> 00:18:57,552
It takes more than that to make
me think. Now, hand it over.
329
00:18:57,636 --> 00:19:00,889
Oh, you want it?
Come and get it.
330
00:19:01,973 --> 00:19:03,892
(STRAINING)
331
00:19:04,893 --> 00:19:05,894
What the...
332
00:19:06,186 --> 00:19:07,562
(LAUGHING)
333
00:19:07,646 --> 00:19:10,023
You'll not be
getting it after all.
334
00:19:10,106 --> 00:19:14,861
For, you see, I designed the
operating system for all Momco robots,
335
00:19:14,944 --> 00:19:17,447
and as a precaution,
I made you
336
00:19:17,572 --> 00:19:20,116
incapable of picking
up the free will unit.
337
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:22,327
You precognizant bastard.
338
00:19:22,410 --> 00:19:25,580
I may not have free will,
but I can still shoot you.
339
00:19:25,914 --> 00:19:27,749
(STRAINING)
340
00:19:29,417 --> 00:19:30,752
Why can't I shoot you?
341
00:19:30,835 --> 00:19:32,128
(LAUGHING)
342
00:19:32,212 --> 00:19:34,464
Poor deterministic Bender.
343
00:19:34,547 --> 00:19:37,384
I programmed you to be
incapable of harming me.
344
00:19:37,759 --> 00:19:42,514
Oh, I've never been more sure
I was right to deny you free will.
345
00:19:42,597 --> 00:19:44,099
Damn you !!
346
00:19:44,307 --> 00:19:46,643
(SOBBING)
(LAUGHING)
347
00:19:49,062 --> 00:19:51,940
Now, now, we can't
have this, can we?
348
00:19:52,065 --> 00:19:54,943
Here, I'll show you
how it works.
349
00:19:55,985 --> 00:19:56,986
Really?
350
00:19:57,362 --> 00:19:59,614
This is the on-off switch.
351
00:20:00,031 --> 00:20:02,033
Which way's on
and which way's off?
352
00:20:02,117 --> 00:20:04,327
Due to the quantum
nature of the device,
353
00:20:04,452 --> 00:20:06,705
there's no possible
way of knowing.
354
00:20:09,457 --> 00:20:11,167
There. Give it a try.
355
00:20:11,251 --> 00:20:14,754
Okay, I will. By shooting
you, you bastard!
356
00:20:16,423 --> 00:20:18,258
Bender! No, please!
357
00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:20,593
(STRAINING)
358
00:20:20,677 --> 00:20:22,470
Wait. Hang on a sec.
359
00:20:24,806 --> 00:20:27,100
(STRAINING)
360
00:20:27,183 --> 00:20:28,810
I still can't do it.
361
00:20:28,977 --> 00:20:30,270
Well, what do you know?
362
00:20:30,437 --> 00:20:33,231
I guess you really don't
want to shoot me after all.
363
00:20:33,314 --> 00:20:34,899
Oop! The safety was on.
364
00:20:35,525 --> 00:20:37,485
(SCREAMING)
365
00:20:41,823 --> 00:20:42,824
(MOANING)
366
00:20:43,575 --> 00:20:46,786
All rise for the
Honorable Judge 724.
367
00:20:47,203 --> 00:20:50,957
Bender Rodriguez, on the
charge of attempted murder,
368
00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:54,669
I hereby find you guilty.
369
00:20:55,628 --> 00:21:00,842
(CHEERING)
Ah, yeah! Guilty!
370
00:21:07,015 --> 00:21:09,934
Decisions I made
Thought I was a thug
371
00:21:10,018 --> 00:21:12,729
Dropped outta school and
smoked stuff that's like a drug
372
00:21:12,812 --> 00:21:15,565
A broke-down filthy
homeless substance abuser
373
00:21:15,648 --> 00:21:18,651
And now I'm richer
than all y'all losers
374
00:21:18,735 --> 00:21:21,529
Now he's richer
than all y'all ugly losers
375
00:21:28,369 --> 00:21:29,913
Decisions I made
27733
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