Original subtitles

Bucket of hot dogs.

Check.

Butt massager engaged.

Check.

Then let the video games begin!

Wait. Hang on. I lost my controller.

(SCOFFS) There is no controller.

The X-Cube tracks your motions with a built-in camera.

Oh, yeah? Track this motion! (LAUGHS EVILLY)

(EXCLAIMS)

Frykowski, BenderlsGreat34, follow me

Sounds like fun on a bun! (EXCLAIMS)

(GRUNTS)

(ALL GASP)

(GROANS) You guys, again?

Ach, these dorkeschoens!

Let's humiliate them with slingshots.

(BOTH EXCLAIM)

(EXCLAIMING)

Shoot your weapon, Private!

Wait. How do I... Hold on.

(GROANING)

Oops.

Sorry to kill und run, but I really must be Goring.

(ALL LAUGH)

Ah!

(GROANING)

Man! Pwned again!

This is all Bender's fault. Admit it, your reflexes suck!

Aw, it's true.

My circuitry's 12 years out of date.

I can't keep up with today's high-speed, top-of-the-line kids!

You can't even keep up with me,

and I'm some sort of Stone Age throwback.

You know, I might be able to speed up your reflexes by overclocking you.

Uh, what's that, sonny?

You say it'll put some whoopie in my cushion?

This might take a while.

I've got to adjust the memory timing, raise the CPU voltage,

and delete 12 terabytes of outdated catchphrases.

Sounds like fun on a bun!

COMPUTERIZED VOICE: Deleted.

(GROANS)

Fry, can we talk about our relationship?

Of course.

Our relationship is the best thing in my life,

so I'm sure I'll enjoy talking about it with you.

(SIGHS) I don't know.

I guess I'm just feeling uneasy

about us being so on-again-off-again.

Maybe it's none of my business,

but if it were up to me, we'd be on all the time.

And I mean all the time.

But what would that be like?

I mean, if we were together, where would we be 10 years from now?

Still here? Definitely.

Or somewhere else.

(SIGHS)

Maybe I'm having some kind of early-life crisis,

but, look, don't you ever wonder about the future?

Well, sure, but you're always in it.

Also, sometimes terminators.

All right. You should run a lot faster now.

Unless you die.

(RECHARGE JINGLE PLAYS)

Whoo! I'm smart! I know how to spell "aardvark!"

February is the shortest month!

There's 3,018 jelly beans in that jar!

(LAUGHS) Damn, I'm good!

I mean 3,018 rat kidneys.

Now, then, my man, let's see if your reflexes are...

BENDER: Faster!

Hyah!

CUBERT: Get 'em! Get 'em! Get 'em!

Hey, foreign aggressors, what's up?

We were just eating spätzle and listening to Kraftwerk...

I mean fire!

(BENDER RAZZING)

That tap-dancing, decadent jazz-baby is too fast for us!

Let's see him outrun a 4-2!

It's my brains against your Von Braun!

Ach! I could have fired a 4-8

(GRUNTS)

Those guys normally stink. That's why we play them exclusively.

Those cheaters must have cheated!

Now, Larry, let's deal with this like mature adults.

Mommy!

What is it, you colicky bastards?

We were playing video games,

and the other kids didn't play fair.

What? Nobody rips off my kids but me!

We can find out who they are through their motion-capture camera.

It better not be those little Korean girls again.

Aha! Got it!

Whoo! We're the greatest! Mostly me!

MOTHER: Bender Rodriguez?

WALT: But he's a stock MomCorp bending unit,

and he's 12 years out of date. How could he possibly play that well?

Did you see me? History came alive and I killed it!

(LAUGHS) If I overclock you some more,

maybe we can beat those Korean girls!

Well, well. That nerd-burglar overclocked the robot's processor!

And that voids his warranty. Even an idiot like me knows that.

An idiot like you knows nothing! Ah!

What matters is, it violates the license agreement,

and that means I've got him right by his little...

Ding-dong.

I'm saying "ding-dong" 'cause you don't have a doorbell.

Hey, pigs. (SNORTS)

We're looking for a CUBERT J. Farnsworth.

You're porkin' at him.

You're under arrest for felony violation

of the MomCorp license agreement.

(SQUEALING LIKE A PIG)

What's all this oinking about? Who called the fuzz?

Sir, who is this boy's legal guardian?

You're porkin' at him.

Then the charges apply to you, too.

What?

(BOTH GRUNT)

Farnsworth? What a lucky break!

After all these years, I've got him! And legally, too!

Even an idiot like me knows he'll be ruined.

An idiot like you is correct!

Ah!

You overclocked Bender?

What did I teach you about tinkering with machinery?

How. You taught me how.

I also taught you not to get caught.

Oh, I wish I'd never cloned you.

It's not my fault. I didn't even know

Bender had a license agreement.

Neither did I... Oh.

(GROANING)

Bender, as my newest employee, could you bend this drinking straw for me?

Sure, let me just... Whoa.

WOMAN'S VOICE: First click the license agreement, dearie.

I really shouldn't agree to things I don't understand,

but I'm slightly thirsty.

(GRUNTS)

Oh, God! I clicked without reading!

And I slightly modified a thing that I own!

We're monsters!

(BOTH SOBBING)

Congratulations, Mother. Can you die happy now?

Not yet. Darn.

I can't rest until this bending unit is restored to factory specs!

Why not?

If people learn they can overclock their old robots,

they won't buy my new robots! This will not stand!

Hover-fish, bring me the clock of Bender Rodriguez.

(SIGHS)

Good news, everyone!

That's what the Professor would say if he weren't in jail facing a life sentence.

Guys! Guys!

I discovered I have an extra processor in my compartment of mystery!

Being overclocked was a start,

but once I activate this processor, I'll be all, like,

"You a big dummy, Einstein! Get a haircut!"

(RECHARGE JINGLE PLAYS)

Oh, wow! I can't believe how stupid I used to be and you still are!

What are all these pagey things?

(GASPS) Look out! You're overheating!

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, now I'm water-cooled.

I can stimulate my intellect

without further thermodynamical disruption.

I miss the old, illiterate Bender.

What's happened to you, mon?

I thought you liked beer and knock-knock jokes.

I'm processing so fast,

it's like I can anticipate that the ceiling fan's gonna fall

and knock ZOIDBERG unconscious.

Wrong, Mr. Genius.

Not that ceiling fan.

(EXCLAIMS)

In fact, looking ahead,

it's obvious Mom won't allow me to stay accelerated like this.

Hmm.

Who's up for a turkey dinner and a game of badminton?

Say what?

Uh-oh. He must be overheating again.

(GLASS SHATTERS)

(ALL EXCLAIM)

Bending unit, you are ordered to report for factory reset.

Okay, sure. But first, this.

(BELL DINGS) I hear turkey.

Oh, boy. Hey, hey, hey!

(LAUGHS)

Ten more processors for me.

Once I install these, I'll have access

to the loftiest realms of thought.

Anyone have access to a lofty realm of gravy?

I can conceive of gravies that would boggle your tiny mind!

But it's not safe here, so I'll need to find a hideout.

Hideout? Bender, are you becoming some kind of supervillain?

Farewell, monobrains.

Your Honor, Mom is a poor, frail industrialist

with three special sons who require constant neglect.

Yet isn't it true, ladies and gentlemen of the jury,

that this boy, this CUBERT Farnsworth...

That's my name. Don't wear it out.

...deliberately robbed her blind by improving his own robot?

(CRYING)

It's true! He did it!

No further questions for this jury.

Before I call a recess for mimosas and horse breeding,

can the defense produce the bending unit in question?

We don't know where the hell he is.

Your Honor, that is something we cannot a-doodle-doo.

Then I'm holding the defendants in contempt

and fining them $10,000 a day until they produce the robot.

(MOANS) At that rate, Planet Express will be bankrupt in

four fingers!

It's been a good run, people, but this is the end.

Wait. I've got it!

This building's technically in the theater district.

If we could mount one big musical featuring everyone's talents,

we might just save Planet Express!

We'll call it Nibbler on the Roof!

(ALL CHEER)

HERMES: We're saved!

I've been thinking a lot about moving on with my life,

and hearing the words "Nibbler on the Roof"

has given me the kick in the pants I needed.

It's time for me to leave and make a fresh start.

Don't go, Leela, please! You and me...

We were supposed to...

What?

I don't know, but someday we'll find out. Won't we?

Goodbye, Fry.

(EXCLAIMS)

I don't know, Randy. I just feel like my life's falling apart.

The Professor's in jail and now Leela's gone forever.

Stay strong, Fry.

You're the best friend I have left.

And I barely even know you.

Have you thought about asking Bender for help?

What are you, Randy, a complete moron?

I'd love to talk to Bender, but I have no idea where he is.

Well, if he's running on 12 processors,

he must be someplace with a lot of power and liquid coolant.

Oh, you're no help at all! I'm gonna go kill myself.

FRY: Wait a second. Power? Liquid coolant?

That gives me the option of electrocution or drowning.

Barrels here! Can't go over the falls without a barrel!

What are my chances of surviving in one of those?

Slim to none.

I like those odds.

Wait. This isn't a barrel.

It's just a stinking cask! I want my money back!

Ow!

(GRUNTING)

That was not worth $3,000.

(GASPS)

Hello? Anybody?

Fry?

(EXCLAIMS)

Bender? Are you in here?

In here is the only place I'm not!

(LAUGHING EVILLY)

I amuse myself.

Bender, what happened to you?

I'll try to put it in terms you can comprehend.

I passed the existential singularity.

Try harder!

I hacked myself inside-out

and now the entire universe IS my processor.

Whoa !! I definitely want to hear about that, but first, I need your help.

The Professor and CUBERT are in trouble, and Leela left me.

I'm in misery!

I've grown far beyond the petty concerns of your world.

Every time I burp, a new galaxy is born.

(BURPS)

Two, if I've been eating broccoli.

All existence is just a chess game, and I can see 50 moves ahead.

Human emotion no longer concerns me.

But Randy said...

Randy? Have you been hanging out with Randy?

Please, Bender.

If everything is a chess game for you, you must know how to help me.

I'm sorry, Fry, but some games you just can't win.

CUBERT and the Professor are guilty.

The jury will vote to convict. I can't change that.

Well, what about Leela?

Is there any hope things could still work out between us?

It's getting late.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some new heavy elements to create.

Better cover your nads. It may get a little non-Newtonian in here.

Not only have the defendants failed to rebut the charges,

they have not even presented any mitigating factors to recommend leniency.

It strikes me as an extra-risky strategy.

Did you say extra-crispy recipe?

You know I didn't.

Your Honor, if we could locate Bender Rodriguez,

he would testify that my clients acted without malice.

No, he wouldn't. Bender doesn't care about us anymore.

(ALL GASP)

Someone used to care about me? Hooray!

In that case, the jury will begin its deliberations.

Bailiff, release the jury collies.

(BARKING)

(CRYING)

I finally nailed Farnsworth. Destroying the boy is just icing on the cake.

No one destroys a boy like you, Mother.

Thank you, you repulsive disappointment.

Any word from Leela?

I heard she took a job selling deep space real estate

somewhere beyond the most distant thing

ever observed with a telescope.

She always liked not being observed with a telescope.

(ALL GASP)

Order! Order in the head!

For reasons beyond even my comprehension,

I have returned to testify on behalf of the defendants.

Yay! Yeah, Bender!

I knew he cared about us!

You said you knew he didn't care about us.

Leave me alone.

Your Honor, I object to this surprise witness.

He's too surprising.

Sustained!

Testimony has closed.

But, Your Honor...

Silence! One more in burst like that

and I'll have this courtroom removed from you!

I'm sorry, guys. I didn't realize I was late.

I guess I'm not as smart as everybody thought.

I was born in prison, and I'll die in prison.

There is still one hope.

You're co-defendants, and the jury might not want to convict a 12-year-old.

Son of a nerd! He may be right.

Make sure Farnsworth doesn't get off easy

on account of that snot-gobbling twerp!

Has the jury reached a verdict?

Not just any verdict, Your Honor. A great verdict!

They're going to take pity on him! Do something!

Your Honor, prosecution moves to drop

the charges against CUBERT Farnsworth.

(ALL GASP)

Very well. The case against CUBERT Farnsworth is hereby dismissed.

Told you I'd get away with it. (SNORTS)

That'll do, pig.

Please read the verdict against Professor Farnsworth.

You got it, Judge.

I think you'll find this verdict as fair as it is cruel.

Your Honor, I move for a mistrial on grounds of double jeopardy!

CUBERT Farnsworth cannot be tried twice for the same crime.

(ALL GASP)

(SQUAWKS)

CUBERT is the Professor's clone,

ergo, they are legally the same person.

Since you dismissed the charges against CUBERT,

you cannot convict the Professor of these same charges!

Well, I'll be a nugget's uncle. He's right!

What a brilliant legal shenanigan.

Case dismissed!

Bender, you knew all this would happen, didn't you?

Yes. All except this part.

(EXCLAIMS)

If I can't bring down Farnsworth,

I can at least dumb down his robot.

Take him away and reset him to factory-stupid condition!

Bender, wait! While you can still calculate the future,

just tell me, what's gonna happen with me and Leela?

There's no time now. (GASPS)

Quick, ZOIDBERG! Take three steps to your right!

(GROANS)

(LAUGHS)

(SIGHS) We've had some tough times, but at least we won a Tony.

You won a Tony. (SCOFFS)

Wow. You gave up your super-intelligence to save us.

Why did you come back?

Honestly, I couldn't think of one good reason,

but some decisions can't be made by thinking.

Even if you're drunk.

No galaxies there.

Knock, knock. Oh! Oh! Who's there?

Leela?

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

Leela who?

It's good to see you. Is it good to see me?

Of course.

AMY: Come on in, Leela.

Take that ugly coat off.

Thanks. Hi, everybody.

So tell us, how's the intergalactic real estate going?

Pretty good. I just sold a castle to the King of Space.

But somehow, I keep finding myself thinking about this place

and things.

Things like me, or things like this badminton racket?

You, Fry.

Bender, while you still have your giant brain,

please tell me if Fry and I ended up together.

It's too late, Leela.

He's good old Bender again. He's totally useless.

Well, not totally.

Before they reset me,

I figured out the answers to life's great questions.

Uh, this is the reason we exist.

This is which ceiling fans are gonna fall.

Aha! Found it!

"Fry and Leela's Ultimate Fate. By Bender."

(GROANING NERVOUSLY) It's probably better if we don't know.

Mystery of life and whatnot.

Give me that!