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1
00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:44,210
I got one!
2
00:00:44,293 --> 00:00:47,088
Okay, kids. Put away the
dust motes till tomorrow.
3
00:00:47,255 --> 00:00:48,339
It's story time.
4
00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:49,799
(ALL CLAMORING)
5
00:00:49,966 --> 00:00:52,301
Today's storyteller
IS a space captain
6
00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:54,804
who grew up right here
at the orphanarium.
7
00:00:54,887 --> 00:00:58,391
Welcome back the bed-wetter
of Building D, Turanga Leela.
8
00:00:59,183 --> 00:01:00,685
(CLAPPING)
9
00:01:01,143 --> 00:01:04,105
Hi, kids. What book would
you like me to read first?
10
00:01:04,188 --> 00:01:06,274
We don't got books no more.
11
00:01:06,357 --> 00:01:07,441
What?
12
00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:08,609
He means "anymore."
13
00:01:08,693 --> 00:01:11,737
Look, sometimes you got to
choose between eating and reading,
14
00:01:11,821 --> 00:01:14,198
so they ate the books.
Just make something up.
15
00:01:14,282 --> 00:01:18,703
Make something up?
Um. Okay.
16
00:01:18,786 --> 00:01:22,164
Once upon a time,
there was a, uh...
17
00:01:22,832 --> 00:01:23,916
Princess?
18
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,167
Yes! That!
19
00:01:25,751 --> 00:01:26,752
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
20
00:01:26,961 --> 00:01:32,008
A one-eyed princess
in a long, flowing tank top.
21
00:01:32,216 --> 00:01:34,677
And she lived in
a magical one-room...
22
00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:35,761
Castle?
23
00:01:35,845 --> 00:01:37,763
Yeah, if you believe
the listing agent.
24
00:01:37,847 --> 00:01:43,144
Anyhow, one day, the
princess went off to tell a story.
25
00:01:43,227 --> 00:01:46,480
And then, that's exactly
what she did do, that.
26
00:01:46,564 --> 00:01:49,317
And they all lived happily
ever after. The end.
27
00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:51,777
Miss Leela?
I have a question.
28
00:01:51,861 --> 00:01:52,820
Yes, Albert?
29
00:01:52,903 --> 00:01:54,572
That story was bad.
30
00:01:54,697 --> 00:01:56,198
That's not
really a question.
31
00:01:56,282 --> 00:01:58,284
That wasn't
really a story.
32
00:01:58,868 --> 00:02:02,121
I'm sorry, kids.
I'm not a natural storyteller.
33
00:02:02,204 --> 00:02:05,875
But I promise, I'll make up a
better story and come back again.
34
00:02:05,958 --> 00:02:07,209
Please don't.
35
00:02:07,293 --> 00:02:08,878
See you soon.
36
00:02:12,965 --> 00:02:15,259
I'm sure I've got a
great kids' story in me.
37
00:02:15,343 --> 00:02:18,262
I just need to think of
three of some kind of animal.
38
00:02:18,387 --> 00:02:20,139
Concentrate, Leela,
concentrate.
39
00:02:20,222 --> 00:02:21,223
(TROMBONE PLAYING)
40
00:02:23,559 --> 00:02:26,729
Fry, I'm writing here.
Do you have to play that?
41
00:02:27,063 --> 00:02:29,231
Yes.
It's the only song I know.
42
00:02:30,232 --> 00:02:33,653
Look, friends. I accidentally
learned to tap dance.
43
00:02:34,403 --> 00:02:35,821
(FRY PLAYING TROMBONE)
44
00:02:36,322 --> 00:02:37,740
ZOIDBERG, I'm trying to...
45
00:02:37,823 --> 00:02:39,533
(BEEPING)
46
00:02:39,617 --> 00:02:41,827
Time for my 4:21 daiquiri!
47
00:02:45,081 --> 00:02:48,209
Guys, guys, guess who just
got commissioned as a tugboat?
48
00:02:48,292 --> 00:02:49,710
(TOOTS STEAM WHISTLE)
49
00:02:50,461 --> 00:02:52,880
Oh, yeah!
pachinko break!
50
00:02:54,256 --> 00:02:56,133
MACHINE: Tokyo crazy balls!
Yes!
51
00:02:56,217 --> 00:02:57,677
(INCESSANT NOISE CONTINUES)
52
00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:02,264
Oh! Good, Leela, you're here.
I'd like to describe my foot pain.
53
00:03:02,431 --> 00:03:05,601
My left has a sharp,
jabbing throb near the bunion,
54
00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:08,062
while the other's got a
searing pain like gout.
55
00:03:08,145 --> 00:03:10,398
Maybe it's too much
albumin because of gravity...
56
00:03:10,481 --> 00:03:14,360
Ugh. Even if I had a pen, I
couldn't write under these conditions.
57
00:03:14,443 --> 00:03:16,696
I'm going to some other planet
where I can concentrate.
58
00:03:16,779 --> 00:03:20,408
Searing, searing pain that
feels as if it were in a vice.
59
00:03:24,912 --> 00:03:26,664
Well, that was rude.
60
00:03:30,835 --> 00:03:33,462
Warden Vogel, I have a
new story for the children.
61
00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:35,673
I'm sure they'll like it
more than my last one.
62
00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:38,175
They liked hunger cramps
more than your last one.
63
00:03:38,259 --> 00:03:40,636
Anyhow, you'll have to wait.
The kids are busy right now.
64
00:03:40,845 --> 00:03:43,222
Is the organ-harvesting
clown here?
65
00:03:43,305 --> 00:03:45,266
Nah, Rusty comes on
Tuesdays now.
66
00:03:45,349 --> 00:03:47,935
Today it's the owner of the
Tickleodeon Kids Network.
67
00:03:48,018 --> 00:03:51,981
Okay, kids, get ready to be
subjected to our new fall shows.
68
00:03:52,064 --> 00:03:54,525
Mr. Funny-Bunny here
will gauge your reaction
69
00:03:54,608 --> 00:03:57,987
by bombarding your brains
with harmless snuggle rays.
70
00:04:01,449 --> 00:04:04,535
He gives me a nice, warm
feeling in my eyeballs.
71
00:04:05,035 --> 00:04:07,079
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
72
00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:11,751
DIGITAL VOICE:
Popular Slut Club.
73
00:04:15,421 --> 00:04:18,007
Oh, my God.
There's Jake Finkelberg!
74
00:04:18,174 --> 00:04:21,677
He's so hot.
I wish he wasn't my brother.
75
00:04:22,178 --> 00:04:24,388
DIGITAL VOICE:
Popular Slut Club.
76
00:04:30,186 --> 00:04:32,188
NARRATOR: Look!
Up on the drive-thru menu!
77
00:04:32,271 --> 00:04:35,816
It's Captain Mega Meat and
his young ward, Bottomless Boy.
78
00:04:37,443 --> 00:04:39,945
Hurry, Captain!
A skinny kid needs our help.
79
00:04:40,029 --> 00:04:41,614
Super-size me!
80
00:04:45,034 --> 00:04:46,368
(BELCHING)
81
00:04:47,161 --> 00:04:48,412
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
82
00:04:48,496 --> 00:04:51,123
ANNOUNCER: From the "Rowdy"”
Roddy Piper Daycare Center
83
00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:55,169
in Glasgow, Scotland, it's
Extreme Toddler Wrestling!
84
00:04:58,756 --> 00:04:59,965
(BOTH GRUNTING)
Ahhh!
85
00:05:06,388 --> 00:05:07,807
Thanks for
the brain scans, kids.
86
00:05:07,890 --> 00:05:10,184
Don't have any children
for the next couple of days.
87
00:05:10,267 --> 00:05:12,061
All right, boys and
girls, enough fun.
88
00:05:12,269 --> 00:05:15,314
Your old friend Leela is
back with a brand new story.
89
00:05:15,397 --> 00:05:18,901
Hi. It's great to be back.
I think you'll enjoy this one.
90
00:05:19,068 --> 00:05:20,945
No!
Please.
91
00:05:21,028 --> 00:05:23,405
Can't we just get
our organs harvested?
92
00:05:23,697 --> 00:05:25,491
It's about some
cute little creatures
93
00:05:25,574 --> 00:05:27,743
from a land
called Rumbledy-Hump.
94
00:05:28,244 --> 00:05:30,913
Kids, let's meet
the Humplings!
95
00:05:32,122 --> 00:05:33,874
(PIANO PLAYING)
96
00:05:34,083 --> 00:05:37,795
(SINGING) My name is Ladybuggle
and I huggle all my friends
97
00:05:38,087 --> 00:05:41,507
I'm a silly spring named Doingg
and my bouncing never ends
98
00:05:41,882 --> 00:05:44,051
Doingg, Doingg, Doingg
99
00:05:44,134 --> 00:05:47,930
They call me Princess Num
Num I'm as sweet as sticky buns
100
00:05:48,305 --> 00:05:49,306
I'm Feffernoose.
101
00:05:49,431 --> 00:05:50,516
Hello.
102
00:05:50,599 --> 00:05:52,434
I'm scared
of everyones
103
00:05:52,518 --> 00:05:55,354
Feffernoose.
What about me?
104
00:05:55,563 --> 00:05:58,190
Hey, it's Garbly.
Everyone loves him
105
00:05:58,274 --> 00:06:00,442
'cause they can't
understand him.
106
00:06:00,526 --> 00:06:02,111
(MUMBLING)
It's nice to meet you.
107
00:06:02,611 --> 00:06:06,407
We're here to make you laugh and
think and smile and learn and sing
108
00:06:06,490 --> 00:06:08,158
And laugh
and learn and smile
109
00:06:08,242 --> 00:06:10,286
And think
and other happy things
110
00:06:16,375 --> 00:06:17,793
(ALL CHEERING)
111
00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:21,213
Say more things like that.
112
00:06:21,463 --> 00:06:22,548
Okey doke.
113
00:06:22,631 --> 00:06:26,969
One sunny, funny day, there was an
unfamiliar visitor in Rumbledy-Hump.
114
00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:32,641
Today we learned that folks
are not as different as they seem
115
00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:34,643
The space gorilla's
just like us
116
00:06:34,768 --> 00:06:36,854
Although
I breathe chlorine
117
00:06:37,313 --> 00:06:40,441
(CHEERING)
118
00:06:40,816 --> 00:06:45,070
Wow, I can't believe you
imaginated all that stuff.
119
00:06:45,154 --> 00:06:47,656
Will you come back again
and tell us more stories,
120
00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:49,575
and also adopt us all?
121
00:06:49,658 --> 00:06:52,536
Of course
I'll tell you more stories.
122
00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:54,955
I'll go think
some up right now.
123
00:06:57,666 --> 00:06:58,751
Holy moly!
124
00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:01,629
Lady, you don't know me, but
my name is Abner Double deal.
125
00:07:01,712 --> 00:07:05,090
Wait, I know you.
You're Abner Double deal.
126
00:07:05,174 --> 00:07:08,010
I brain-scanned those little
nose-pickers during your story,
127
00:07:08,093 --> 00:07:09,637
and, sister,
their enjoyment glands
128
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:11,305
were squirting like
Broadway road kill!
129
00:07:11,555 --> 00:07:13,057
Aw! They were?
130
00:07:13,223 --> 00:07:14,934
Say, you seem
like a smart mark.
131
00:07:15,017 --> 00:07:16,936
How'd you like to
make it into a TV show?
132
00:07:17,227 --> 00:07:20,648
Sign here on this
Super cuts coupon.
133
00:07:21,190 --> 00:07:22,399
I don't know.
134
00:07:22,483 --> 00:07:25,110
Don't I need a degree to
write gibberish for toddlers?
135
00:07:25,402 --> 00:07:29,156
Come on, Miss Leela. Don't
be a 'fraidy cat like Feffernoose.
136
00:07:29,865 --> 00:07:33,702
Okay. I'll do it to show you kids
you can succeed at anything,
137
00:07:33,911 --> 00:07:36,956
if you just
luck out hard enough.
138
00:07:37,039 --> 00:07:41,418
Welcome to the glamorous,
big-money world of basic cable TV!
139
00:07:41,502 --> 00:07:43,212
I'm going to
need that pen back.
140
00:07:49,551 --> 00:07:54,723
Working on a real TV show is so
exciting. I'm on a mostly natural high.
141
00:07:54,807 --> 00:07:57,643
These costumes are gonna
make it hard to go to the bathroom.
142
00:07:57,726 --> 00:07:59,311
I'm not having
any problem.
143
00:07:59,395 --> 00:08:00,646
We're shooting
in five minutes,
144
00:08:00,729 --> 00:08:03,148
and this Leela broad hasn't
even delivered a script yet!
145
00:08:03,232 --> 00:08:04,483
Sweet zombie Jesus!
146
00:08:04,566 --> 00:08:08,988
Like it's not hard enough to make a
freaking' TV show for under 50 bucks.
147
00:08:10,531 --> 00:08:12,491
Damn it.
I'll call you back, Grandma.
148
00:08:12,574 --> 00:08:14,493
Nice of you
to show up, toots.
149
00:08:14,576 --> 00:08:16,537
I mean that sincerely.
It's just that I'm in showbiz.
150
00:08:16,870 --> 00:08:20,624
Sorry, I went to my quiet
place to write. Here's the script.
151
00:08:22,167 --> 00:08:25,379
Ugh. You writers make me sick.
Nice job on the script, though.
152
00:08:25,504 --> 00:08:27,131
Places, everyone!
153
00:08:30,259 --> 00:08:33,345
Okay. Cheap lights.
Off-brand camera.
154
00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:36,890
And non-union action!
155
00:08:39,393 --> 00:08:40,602
I like ice cream.
156
00:08:43,105 --> 00:08:44,898
And I like lollipops.
157
00:08:46,108 --> 00:08:48,944
And I like you,
Princess Num Num.
158
00:08:50,654 --> 00:08:51,780
Ew!
159
00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:54,324
I'm all licky-sticky!
160
00:08:54,408 --> 00:08:56,035
(CRYING)
161
00:08:56,493 --> 00:08:59,872
I don't understand. When
I like something, I lick it.
162
00:09:00,122 --> 00:09:01,790
Like this raccoon.
163
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:04,293
(HISSING)
164
00:09:04,543 --> 00:09:07,880
Doingg, don't lick things
that don't want to be licked.
165
00:09:07,963 --> 00:09:10,549
But how do I know what
to lick and what not to lick?
166
00:09:10,632 --> 00:09:12,134
It's very simple.
167
00:09:12,301 --> 00:09:14,678
(TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING)
168
00:09:14,803 --> 00:09:18,891
If it's alive,
don't lick it
169
00:09:18,974 --> 00:09:21,852
Like a horse, a
turtle or a cricket
170
00:09:22,019 --> 00:09:23,395
I like turtles!
171
00:09:23,479 --> 00:09:26,982
So, if you're not sure
if it's alive or dead
172
00:09:27,316 --> 00:09:31,695
Poke it with a stick
and lick the stick instead
173
00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:34,239
Now I get it!
174
00:09:35,574 --> 00:09:36,575
Ow!
175
00:09:36,658 --> 00:09:38,494
Well, that's all for today.
176
00:09:38,577 --> 00:09:43,248
But before we go, let's do
everything we just did two more times.
177
00:09:43,791 --> 00:09:45,042
Leela, that was great!
178
00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:48,378
Even I have to admire the
performance of me, Bender.
179
00:09:48,462 --> 00:09:51,298
The show looks so cute.
Kids will love it!
180
00:09:51,381 --> 00:09:55,803
And it looks so cruddy, their
ironic hipster parents will "love it."
181
00:09:55,886 --> 00:09:58,097
Thanks, guys,
but let's be realistic.
182
00:09:58,180 --> 00:10:01,975
We all know any TV show that's
even slightly good gets canceled.
183
00:10:02,309 --> 00:10:04,978
Sometimes
two or three times.
184
00:10:05,062 --> 00:10:08,398
Leela! Tomorrow's ratings just
came in from the future. We're a hit.
185
00:10:08,482 --> 00:10:11,318
What? My show is a hit?
186
00:10:11,401 --> 00:10:14,863
What are you, deaf? It's gonna be
bigger than SpongeBot SquareBolts.
187
00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:17,741
I interfere with pacemakers.
(LAUGHS)
188
00:10:17,825 --> 00:10:20,661
Baby, I hope you
like drowning in caviar,
189
00:10:20,744 --> 00:10:22,204
'cause that is how
you're gonna die.
190
00:10:27,376 --> 00:10:29,461
(CHILDREN CHEERING)
191
00:11:10,460 --> 00:11:13,839
ROBOT HOST: Welcome back to
the Young People's Choice Awards!
192
00:11:13,964 --> 00:11:17,509
In a moment, the award
for Outstanding Sext Message.
193
00:11:17,593 --> 00:11:21,430
But first, the nominees
for Best New Kids' Show are...
194
00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:23,140
Yo Gimme Gimme,
195
00:11:23,432 --> 00:11:26,768
The Adventures of Pit-bull
and Scaredy Squirrel,
196
00:11:27,477 --> 00:11:29,021
Dora the Destroyer,
197
00:11:29,438 --> 00:11:31,231
and Rumbledy-Hump.
198
00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:34,359
I hope you win, Leela.
199
00:11:34,443 --> 00:11:37,779
Thanks, Fry. It's nice to have
the support of viewers like you.
200
00:11:37,863 --> 00:11:39,198
I'm the star
of the show.
201
00:11:39,281 --> 00:11:40,282
Shh.
202
00:11:40,616 --> 00:11:44,036
And the Slurmie for Best
New Kids' Show goes to
203
00:11:44,494 --> 00:11:47,122
Turanga Leela
for Rumbledy-Hump.
204
00:11:49,166 --> 00:11:51,585
ANNOUNCER: This is
Turanga Leela's first nomination
205
00:11:51,668 --> 00:11:53,795
and second time
in high heels.
206
00:11:56,173 --> 00:11:59,218
Wow. I feel so lucky just
to have been nominated
207
00:11:59,301 --> 00:12:01,929
alongside so
many inferior shows.
208
00:12:02,137 --> 00:12:04,723
And to all my young friends
at the orphanarium,
209
00:12:05,098 --> 00:12:08,227
thank you for inspiring me
to be your hero.
210
00:12:08,352 --> 00:12:09,478
Slurm her!
211
00:12:16,944 --> 00:12:18,820
So, wait. You play
a high school student
212
00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:20,739
who's also
secretly a rock star,
213
00:12:20,822 --> 00:12:22,866
who's also secretly
a massage chair?
214
00:12:22,950 --> 00:12:24,993
No. I play
a high school student
215
00:12:25,077 --> 00:12:27,079
who's also
secretly a rock star.
216
00:12:27,162 --> 00:12:29,164
But in real life,
I'm a massage chair.
217
00:12:29,289 --> 00:12:30,290
Mmm.
218
00:12:30,374 --> 00:12:33,543
You ever made out
with a tugboat?
219
00:12:33,627 --> 00:12:36,255
Guys, I didn't have time
to mention it up there,
220
00:12:36,338 --> 00:12:39,800
but I want each of you to know
what an honor it is to work with me.
221
00:12:39,883 --> 00:12:42,094
Sweet ego of Montego!
222
00:12:42,177 --> 00:12:44,429
Someone build a wind farm
in front of her mouth!
223
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:45,931
Leela, I mean this,
224
00:12:46,014 --> 00:12:49,268
you're the greatest creative mind
since blah, blah, blah-bity blah.
225
00:12:49,351 --> 00:12:51,770
But it's 2:00 a.m., and you still
haven't written tomorrow's episode.
226
00:12:51,853 --> 00:12:53,939
Well, you can't
expect me to write it here
227
00:12:54,022 --> 00:12:57,109
with everyone talking so
loudly about how great I am.
228
00:12:57,192 --> 00:12:58,277
Sorry.
229
00:12:58,360 --> 00:12:59,611
I'm taking the ship
to my quiet place
230
00:12:59,695 --> 00:13:00,862
so I can be alone.
231
00:13:00,946 --> 00:13:03,657
You non-creatives
can catch a bus home.
232
00:13:03,740 --> 00:13:08,453
Non-creative? Hal I'll have you
know I Bedazzle my own underpants.
233
00:13:22,801 --> 00:13:24,636
That was a hell
of a massage.
234
00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:26,847
Maybe the best
that ever was.
235
00:13:26,930 --> 00:13:28,598
Say, where are we?
236
00:13:28,932 --> 00:13:29,933
(GASPING)
237
00:13:31,935 --> 00:13:33,437
BENDER: Rumbledy-Hump?
238
00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:36,231
It's real!
239
00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:38,942
I love eating vegetables,
don't you?
240
00:13:39,192 --> 00:13:41,611
They're like crunchy,
green water.
241
00:13:41,695 --> 00:13:44,281
I don't like them!
They're icky-yuckie!
242
00:13:44,489 --> 00:13:47,909
Now, now, Garbly, if we
don't eat our vegetables,
243
00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:49,786
we won't grow big
and strong,
244
00:13:49,870 --> 00:13:51,330
like Feffernoose.
245
00:13:51,413 --> 00:13:54,875
I have to be big and strong
to fight off the monsters.
246
00:13:57,085 --> 00:13:59,171
Did somebody
say monsters?
247
00:13:59,421 --> 00:14:01,256
(LAUGHING)
248
00:14:01,548 --> 00:14:03,467
This will make
a great episode.
249
00:14:03,550 --> 00:14:05,886
But talk slower,
I can't type that fast.
250
00:14:05,969 --> 00:14:07,888
Well, well, well.
251
00:14:07,971 --> 00:14:08,972
(GASPING)
252
00:14:09,056 --> 00:14:10,932
You didn't make up
that TV show.
253
00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:13,518
You just wrote down
what these space twerps said.
254
00:14:13,602 --> 00:14:14,603
Oh, hell.
255
00:14:14,686 --> 00:14:15,687
(ALL GASPING)
256
00:14:15,771 --> 00:14:18,690
Leela said
a Rumbledy-Hump no-no!
257
00:14:18,774 --> 00:14:19,775
(CHILDREN'S MUSIC PLAYING)
258
00:14:19,858 --> 00:14:22,152
Sometimes when we're mad
259
00:14:22,235 --> 00:14:25,197
We say words
that are bad
260
00:14:30,744 --> 00:14:35,374
And "poo-poo” and "pee-pee”
and "penis” and "gay”
261
00:14:35,457 --> 00:14:39,669
Those are the 98 words
we don't say
262
00:14:39,795 --> 00:14:42,130
(CHEERING)
263
00:14:42,214 --> 00:14:45,384
My God!
You stole all your ideas
264
00:14:45,467 --> 00:14:49,221
from those poor, innocent
creatures and hogged all the credit?
265
00:14:49,596 --> 00:14:51,306
I underestimated you.
266
00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:52,891
Wait. I can explain.
267
00:14:52,974 --> 00:14:55,560
Nah, don't ruin it.
I'm loving the hypocrisy.
268
00:14:55,644 --> 00:14:58,397
It's like catching an
evangelist in a whorehouse.
269
00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:00,524
That was
the best Christmas ever.
270
00:15:00,607 --> 00:15:02,025
You know
I hate lying.
271
00:15:02,109 --> 00:15:04,277
But those orphans
were so proud of me,
272
00:15:04,361 --> 00:15:05,904
I couldn't bear
to let them down.
273
00:15:05,987 --> 00:15:06,988
(SCOFFS)
274
00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:10,534
At least Reverend Pickens had the
dignity to jump out the whorehouse window
275
00:15:10,617 --> 00:15:12,160
with his pants
around his ankles.
276
00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:13,870
Who's your friend, Leela?
277
00:15:13,954 --> 00:15:16,957
He sure has a shiny
metal bumbledy-boop.
278
00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:19,042
They're so cute
and harmless.
279
00:15:19,126 --> 00:15:21,503
No wonder you feel safe
ripping off their act.
280
00:15:21,586 --> 00:15:23,713
Bender,
I feel bad enough already.
281
00:15:24,005 --> 00:15:25,006
(BENDER LAUGHING)
282
00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:28,093
I'm just messing with you. I love
that you're getting rich off of them.
283
00:15:28,176 --> 00:15:30,762
'Cause now I can
get rich off of you.
284
00:15:30,846 --> 00:15:31,930
Oh, Lord.
285
00:15:32,013 --> 00:15:35,475
From now on, you give me half
the gross, or I'll blow your cover.
286
00:15:35,684 --> 00:15:36,685
(SIGHS)
287
00:15:36,768 --> 00:15:40,814
Fine. You'll get your cut. I don't
really care about the money anyway.
288
00:15:40,897 --> 00:15:43,316
I just want to show those
poor, disadvantaged orphans
289
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:45,110
that they can
succeed in life.
290
00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:48,155
Ugh. You are the
worst kind of rich person.
291
00:15:51,366 --> 00:15:55,036
Be it parsnips or peppers
or kale or zucchini
292
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:58,623
I like to relax
with a spinach martini
293
00:15:58,707 --> 00:16:02,169
(UNDECIPHERABLE)
294
00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:05,505
'Cause we love
our vegetables
295
00:16:08,508 --> 00:16:10,218
ABNER: And cut!
296
00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:11,511
That's a wrap, everybody.
297
00:16:11,595 --> 00:16:13,430
Ten minute break,
then we shoot season three.
298
00:16:13,555 --> 00:16:16,391
(CHILDREN CHEERING)
299
00:16:17,601 --> 00:16:21,062
Leela, you may have become
a Lady Gaga-esque fame hag,
300
00:16:21,188 --> 00:16:24,733
but you sure cheered up
those orphans. Nice job.
301
00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:28,570
Thanks so much for
inviting us to the taping.
302
00:16:28,862 --> 00:16:31,490
The kids haven't been
this excited since Food Day.
303
00:16:31,573 --> 00:16:34,117
Thanks.
They're my inspiration.
304
00:16:34,201 --> 00:16:37,162
But not your only
inspiration, am I right, Leels?
305
00:16:37,704 --> 00:16:39,581
(LAUGHING)
306
00:16:40,749 --> 00:16:42,959
Is somebody standing on me?
307
00:16:44,294 --> 00:16:47,506
I do love inconveniencing
the underclass.
308
00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:53,345
Well, we'll be on our way after we
dig through your trash for aluminum.
309
00:16:53,428 --> 00:16:56,056
Okay, kids, delta pattern.
Go! Go! Go!
310
00:16:59,017 --> 00:17:01,061
Miss Leela?
Yes, Sally?
311
00:17:01,144 --> 00:17:04,272
I want to show you
the story I made up.
312
00:17:05,106 --> 00:17:10,028
That's Gumdrop, Sticky,
Candycorn, Sourball, and Jujube.
313
00:17:10,111 --> 00:17:13,990
They're brothers and sisters and
they live in Butterscotch Hollow.
314
00:17:14,366 --> 00:17:16,868
Sally, that's wonderful.
315
00:17:16,952 --> 00:17:19,621
You came up with that
yourself? Out of thin air?
316
00:17:20,956 --> 00:17:22,082
How?
317
00:17:22,165 --> 00:17:26,169
You were an orphan, and
now you're the best writer ever.
318
00:17:26,253 --> 00:17:28,463
So I knew
I could write, too.
319
00:17:28,922 --> 00:17:31,049
Thank you
for being my hero.
320
00:17:33,343 --> 00:17:34,886
I can't do this anymore.
321
00:17:35,011 --> 00:17:36,513
I don't blame you.
322
00:17:36,596 --> 00:17:40,517
Having to wear a costume
made from a hollowed-out walrus.
323
00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:42,811
Everyone,
I have a confession.
324
00:17:43,103 --> 00:17:46,690
I, Turanga Leela, winner of a
Young People's Choice Award,
325
00:17:46,773 --> 00:17:50,902
a Peabody Jr. and two Training
Emmys, am not what I appear to be.
326
00:17:50,986 --> 00:17:52,696
There's something
I need to show you.
327
00:17:53,154 --> 00:17:54,155
Uh-oh.
328
00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:04,082
Continuing my confession, this
is the hardest thing I've ever done.
329
00:18:04,165 --> 00:18:07,002
Harder than creating the
best-est show in the world?
330
00:18:07,085 --> 00:18:09,546
I didn't create anything.
I stole it.
331
00:18:09,629 --> 00:18:11,881
Stealing is
a form of creativity.
332
00:18:11,965 --> 00:18:14,843
No, it isn't.
Guys, come on out.
333
00:18:17,053 --> 00:18:18,096
(ALL GASPING)
334
00:18:18,179 --> 00:18:19,139
Holy moly again.
335
00:18:19,222 --> 00:18:20,849
Hello, Leela.
336
00:18:20,932 --> 00:18:24,853
I was just telling my friends how
they shouldn't eat food off the floor.
337
00:18:24,936 --> 00:18:26,271
Should we sing
a song about it?
338
00:18:26,354 --> 00:18:27,439
Yes, please.
339
00:18:27,522 --> 00:18:28,773
No need, Ladybuggle.
340
00:18:28,857 --> 00:18:30,275
Say, what's going on here?
341
00:18:30,358 --> 00:18:31,401
(SIGHING)
342
00:18:31,484 --> 00:18:33,778
This planet is
the real Rumbledy-Hump,
343
00:18:33,903 --> 00:18:36,197
and these creatures
are the real Humplings.
344
00:18:36,281 --> 00:18:39,576
All I did was write down their
adorably repetitious hi jinks.
345
00:18:39,701 --> 00:18:41,494
(GASPS) You lied?
346
00:18:41,578 --> 00:18:45,457
Like Doingg did when he
stole Garbly's pet pine-cone?
347
00:18:45,540 --> 00:18:47,250
You told them about that?
348
00:18:47,584 --> 00:18:49,461
I should have told
the truth right away.
349
00:18:49,544 --> 00:18:52,964
These simple prairie folk have
a simple prairie-ish life here,
350
00:18:53,089 --> 00:18:55,467
and I was wrong to
exploit it for profit.
351
00:18:55,550 --> 00:18:59,346
I'm as sad as
an upside-down smile.
352
00:18:59,429 --> 00:19:00,555
You mean a frown?
353
00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:04,809
We didn't have
a word for it, until now.
354
00:19:05,060 --> 00:19:08,647
To think I put on an unflattering
cupcake costume for you.
355
00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:10,940
To think I borrowed
money from you.
356
00:19:11,024 --> 00:19:13,443
I was going to
ask you to marry me.
357
00:19:13,526 --> 00:19:17,822
I guess if you can't make
up stories, I can't neither.
358
00:19:17,906 --> 00:19:21,785
I deserve this. And
more. Keep it coming.
359
00:19:21,910 --> 00:19:23,703
Wait a second.
360
00:19:23,787 --> 00:19:25,830
As a big Hollywood
TV producer,
361
00:19:25,914 --> 00:19:28,249
I think I know how to
remedy this ethical lapse.
362
00:19:32,921 --> 00:19:37,008
So if you don't want a
tapeworm or intestinal bug
363
00:19:37,092 --> 00:19:40,178
Don't eat pastrami
that fell on the rug
364
00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:42,013
And cut!
365
00:19:42,097 --> 00:19:44,349
Ta-da! We got us a reality show.
366
00:19:44,474 --> 00:19:46,726
No writers, no
actors, no problem.
367
00:19:46,810 --> 00:19:48,520
Double deal,
this is disgraceful.
368
00:19:48,603 --> 00:19:51,648
You can't just rip off their
real lives and put it on TV.
369
00:19:51,940 --> 00:19:54,401
Who said anything
about ripping them off?
370
00:19:54,484 --> 00:19:55,568
I did.
371
00:19:55,694 --> 00:19:56,736
I'm paying them.
372
00:19:56,820 --> 00:19:59,656
Gather around, gang.
Here are your paychecks.
373
00:20:02,492 --> 00:20:05,328
I can finally
afford my speech therapy.
374
00:20:05,412 --> 00:20:08,623
And the health plan
covers my generic Prozac.
375
00:20:08,707 --> 00:20:13,378
Electricity, plumbing, our
lives are a zillion times better.
376
00:20:13,461 --> 00:20:16,089
And it's all
thanks to you, Leela.
377
00:20:16,172 --> 00:20:18,550
Don't thank me.
I should be punished.
378
00:20:18,633 --> 00:20:21,636
I've corrupted you and taught
the orphans a terrible lesson.
379
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:24,097
What orphans?
The kids were all adopted.
380
00:20:24,180 --> 00:20:26,641
They were? By who?
381
00:20:26,725 --> 00:20:30,061
Come on, kids, let's get this place
cleaned up for the next episode.
382
00:20:30,145 --> 00:20:32,856
Albert, pick up that pastrami and
put it back on the craft services table.
383
00:20:32,981 --> 00:20:34,315
You're the boss, Daddy.
384
00:20:34,399 --> 00:20:36,317
Oh, God, what have I done?
385
00:20:36,401 --> 00:20:39,904
You've given us a new father
and a full-time job,
386
00:20:39,988 --> 00:20:42,073
which is more
than most kids have.
387
00:20:42,157 --> 00:20:44,534
But...
We love it here, Miss Leela.
388
00:20:44,617 --> 00:20:48,037
This is the funnest planet
in the whole world.
389
00:20:48,121 --> 00:20:50,457
Don't hug me! I've
done a horrible thing!
390
00:20:50,540 --> 00:20:53,793
For God's sake, somebody
teach me a lesson!
391
00:20:53,918 --> 00:20:59,299
We love Leela! We love
Leela! We love Leela!
392
00:20:59,382 --> 00:21:01,092
LEELA: No!
393
00:21:01,176 --> 00:21:02,886
KIDS: We love Leela!
We love Leela!
394
00:21:03,344 --> 00:21:05,638
We love Leela!
30096
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