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1
00:00:33,282 --> 00:00:34,617
So, there it is, people.
2
00:00:34,700 --> 00:00:36,077
Due to budget cutbacks,
3
00:00:36,160 --> 00:00:39,413
we will no longer be offering
free squid guts in the kitchen.
4
00:00:39,497 --> 00:00:41,832
(SOBBING)
5
00:00:41,958 --> 00:00:42,959
(DOOR OPENS)
6
00:00:43,125 --> 00:00:44,752
Oh, boo-hoo.
7
00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:47,338
Everyone, look at
my latest invention!
8
00:00:47,421 --> 00:00:48,464
Okay.
9
00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:50,883
I like how it's not
killing us so far.
10
00:00:50,967 --> 00:00:54,470
It takes any object
and makes two smaller copies.
11
00:00:54,804 --> 00:00:56,514
All right!
12
00:00:57,139 --> 00:00:58,099
Why?
13
00:00:58,182 --> 00:00:59,892
You see, as I age,
14
00:00:59,976 --> 00:01:02,728
I've been shrinking
and feeling colder.
15
00:01:02,812 --> 00:01:07,066
So now I need twice as many
sweaters, in a smaller size.
16
00:01:07,149 --> 00:01:09,986
First, I scan
the old sweater.
17
00:01:11,070 --> 00:01:12,822
Then we add some matter.
18
00:01:12,905 --> 00:01:15,366
Any old,
useless matter will do.
19
00:01:18,953 --> 00:01:21,998
Now the matter prism
reorganizes the raw material
20
00:01:22,081 --> 00:01:24,083
into two smaller copies.
21
00:01:27,003 --> 00:01:29,380
So, that's where
baby sweaters come from.
22
00:01:32,675 --> 00:01:35,011
NARRATOR:
Enclosed as a PDF attachment,
23
00:01:35,094 --> 00:01:38,264
a picture of yourself,
in a boat, on a river.
24
00:01:38,347 --> 00:01:41,100
It's a river that
flows in two directions.
25
00:01:41,183 --> 00:01:42,351
Make that three.
26
00:01:42,435 --> 00:01:44,395
It's a magic river,
that's how.
27
00:01:44,478 --> 00:01:47,231
And it's flowing down
the eerie canal to
28
00:01:47,356 --> 00:01:49,275
The Scary Door.
29
00:01:49,358 --> 00:01:51,902
That's "eerie” with two E's.
30
00:01:53,529 --> 00:01:55,281
Consider,
if you have the energy,
31
00:01:55,364 --> 00:01:58,951
Dr. Daniel Zenus, an inventor
with a terminal case
32
00:01:59,035 --> 00:02:00,328
of "The Lazies."
33
00:02:00,494 --> 00:02:02,788
This robot will do
everything for me.
34
00:02:02,872 --> 00:02:05,833
Robot, activate yourself
and do my research.
35
00:02:11,047 --> 00:02:12,048
Ahh.
36
00:02:13,049 --> 00:02:15,926
Next, assume
my social obligations.
37
00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:24,685
Dr. Zenus,
38
00:02:24,769 --> 00:02:27,146
for a lifetime of
scientific achievement,
39
00:02:27,229 --> 00:02:30,650
we present this award
to your robot.
40
00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:33,611
Daddy, I love you.
41
00:02:35,738 --> 00:02:36,739
(CRYING)
42
00:02:37,239 --> 00:02:39,241
If only
I'd programmed the robot
43
00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:41,452
to be more careful
what I wished for.
44
00:02:41,535 --> 00:02:44,622
Robot, experience
this tragic irony for me.
45
00:02:45,081 --> 00:02:47,667
No!
46
00:02:50,836 --> 00:02:51,837
Ahh.
47
00:02:53,089 --> 00:02:54,090
Ahh.
48
00:02:54,423 --> 00:02:57,051
Man, I wish we had
a robot to do stuff.
49
00:02:57,134 --> 00:02:58,135
I know, right?
50
00:02:58,219 --> 00:02:59,178
(DOOR OPENS)
51
00:02:59,261 --> 00:03:01,722
Bender, thank God
I found you in time.
52
00:03:01,931 --> 00:03:06,018
I need someone in the lab
immediately to fold my new sweaters.
53
00:03:06,227 --> 00:03:09,897
I'm sorry, do you see a robot
in this room named "Folder"?
54
00:03:10,272 --> 00:03:11,440
(CHUCKLING)
55
00:03:11,565 --> 00:03:15,611
Fortunately, I came prepared
with a back-up phrasing.
56
00:03:15,903 --> 00:03:19,323
Bender, would you mind
bending my new sweaters?
57
00:03:19,407 --> 00:03:20,574
There's only
two of them.
58
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:21,867
Wait.
59
00:03:21,951 --> 00:03:23,703
You want me to
do two things?
60
00:03:23,786 --> 00:03:27,331
Man, I'd call my lawyer if dialing
a phone wasn't such a hassle.
61
00:03:28,499 --> 00:03:30,835
Razza frazza two things.
62
00:03:31,210 --> 00:03:34,088
Ooh, Razza frazza duplicator.
63
00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:38,384
Now for some tasty matter.
64
00:03:47,059 --> 00:03:48,060
(DINGING)
65
00:03:49,311 --> 00:03:51,439
Howdy, fellas.
I'm Bender.
66
00:03:51,522 --> 00:03:53,149
Go to hell, old man!
67
00:03:53,315 --> 00:03:55,276
I like your attitude.
Let's party.
68
00:03:55,359 --> 00:03:57,194
But first,
fold these two sweaters.
69
00:03:58,028 --> 00:04:00,156
BOTH: I'm sorry,
do you see a robot
70
00:04:00,239 --> 00:04:02,408
in this room
named "Folder"?
71
00:04:02,491 --> 00:04:03,492
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
72
00:04:03,826 --> 00:04:04,994
Damn, you're cute.
73
00:04:05,244 --> 00:04:06,620
(FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING)
74
00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:10,666
(BOTH CRYING OUT)
75
00:04:16,088 --> 00:04:17,089
(ALL CRY OUT)
76
00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:30,311
(CAMERA CLICKING)
77
00:04:39,111 --> 00:04:40,446
Hi. I'm Bender.
78
00:04:40,529 --> 00:04:43,616
This is my robot Bender, and
this is my other robot Bender.
79
00:04:43,699 --> 00:04:44,742
Oh, Lord.
80
00:04:44,867 --> 00:04:47,787
They're 60% scale
replicas of me, Bender.
81
00:04:47,870 --> 00:04:50,790
Does that mean they only
do 60% of the work you do,
82
00:04:50,873 --> 00:04:52,708
or that they actually
do more work
83
00:04:52,875 --> 00:04:54,710
because they're only
60% as lazy?
84
00:04:55,044 --> 00:04:56,212
(MUMBLING)
85
00:04:57,046 --> 00:04:58,297
Shut up.
86
00:04:58,380 --> 00:05:00,132
(BENDERS LAUGHING)
That's a good one.
87
00:05:00,216 --> 00:05:01,926
Enough good ones, everyone.
88
00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:05,012
We have a delivery to
an alien space giant.
89
00:05:05,095 --> 00:05:06,514
You'll have to
be respectful.
90
00:05:06,597 --> 00:05:10,059
This customer is 50-feet tall and
sensitive about his appearance.
91
00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:13,729
Colossal tooth whitener,
mega deodorant,
92
00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:16,482
humongous acne cream, aww,
93
00:05:16,732 --> 00:05:18,442
and one
regular-sized condom.
94
00:05:18,526 --> 00:05:22,363
All that and a small wiener?
This guy's got it going' on!
95
00:05:22,446 --> 00:05:24,907
(BENDERS LAUGHING)
96
00:05:35,793 --> 00:05:38,754
Remember, don't show any
reaction to his appearance.
97
00:05:42,049 --> 00:05:43,175
(LEELA CRIES OUT)
98
00:05:43,592 --> 00:05:46,887
I hope that's vanishing cream,
'cause that needs to go away.
99
00:05:47,012 --> 00:05:48,055
(LAUGHING)
100
00:05:48,138 --> 00:05:49,265
That's cold-blooded!
101
00:05:49,348 --> 00:05:50,349
Shh!
102
00:05:50,432 --> 00:05:52,518
It's okay.
I understand.
103
00:05:52,601 --> 00:05:54,687
My unusual appearance
makes people nervous.
104
00:05:54,770 --> 00:05:56,605
You used humor
to defuse the tension.
105
00:05:56,689 --> 00:05:59,775
Yep, and there's still a little
more tension. So, look out!
106
00:06:00,025 --> 00:06:01,902
(CLEARS THROAT)
You so ugly,
107
00:06:01,986 --> 00:06:04,947
when trick-or-treaters come to
your house, they give you candy.
108
00:06:05,072 --> 00:06:07,241
You so ugly,
when you go to the bank,
109
00:06:07,366 --> 00:06:09,535
they ask you to
put on a ski mask!
110
00:06:09,660 --> 00:06:12,788
You so ugly, you
cracked The Daily Mirror.
111
00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:14,415
It's a newspaper!
112
00:06:14,623 --> 00:06:16,041
(BENDERS LAUGHING)
113
00:06:16,125 --> 00:06:19,503
I wish it weren't so, but
many of these things are true.
114
00:06:19,587 --> 00:06:21,797
Anyhow, you've lowered
my self-esteem a bit more,
115
00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:24,091
but I'm sincerely grateful
you came all this way
116
00:06:24,174 --> 00:06:25,759
to deliver my fungus chisel.
117
00:06:25,843 --> 00:06:28,304
Don't feel bad, sir.
It's not your fault.
118
00:06:28,470 --> 00:06:30,598
You probably just
inherited your appearance
119
00:06:30,681 --> 00:06:32,266
from your mother.
What?
120
00:06:32,349 --> 00:06:34,518
No one
insults my mama
121
00:06:34,602 --> 00:06:35,603
(CREW SCREAMING)
122
00:06:35,686 --> 00:06:36,812
(ROARING)
123
00:06:44,403 --> 00:06:45,613
(ENGINE SPUTTERING)
124
00:06:49,408 --> 00:06:50,659
(SCREAMING)
125
00:06:51,076 --> 00:06:52,661
BENDER: God, shield your eyes!
126
00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:55,164
It's like Edward
James Olmos on IMAX!
127
00:07:00,669 --> 00:07:01,670
(CHUCKLING)
128
00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:04,423
Did you see his face
when I said he so ugly?
129
00:07:04,506 --> 00:07:07,134
No, I blacked out,
'cause he so ugly!
130
00:07:07,301 --> 00:07:08,844
(ALL LAUGHING)
131
00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:12,473
Hey, guys, quit reminiscing
and grab me two cigars.
132
00:07:12,556 --> 00:07:13,557
One thing each?
133
00:07:13,641 --> 00:07:14,642
Sounds fair.
134
00:07:14,725 --> 00:07:16,685
Wait, make that
four cigars.
135
00:07:17,186 --> 00:07:19,396
BOTH: You want us
to do four things?
136
00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:27,488
My Manwich!
137
00:07:28,238 --> 00:07:29,239
(DINGING)
138
00:07:30,032 --> 00:07:31,909
ALL: What's up, shorty?
139
00:07:32,117 --> 00:07:34,912
And that's the story
of how one of me became two,
140
00:07:34,995 --> 00:07:37,623
and two became four,
making seven total.
141
00:07:37,706 --> 00:07:39,041
The end.
142
00:07:41,251 --> 00:07:43,128
I just like
having the end locker.
143
00:07:43,212 --> 00:07:45,255
It's not like Amy
cares about it at all.
144
00:07:45,339 --> 00:07:47,383
But no, she won't trade with me.
145
00:07:47,466 --> 00:07:48,467
A rat!
146
00:07:48,550 --> 00:07:49,802
Yes, she is a rat.
147
00:07:50,135 --> 00:07:51,887
No, look!
148
00:07:52,096 --> 00:07:53,722
Which way
to the tiny hookers?
149
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:55,641
(SCREAMING)
150
00:07:55,724 --> 00:07:57,518
A big, fat roach!
151
00:07:57,601 --> 00:07:59,311
What?
I thought I put that away.
152
00:07:59,395 --> 00:08:01,313
No, there!
153
00:08:02,731 --> 00:08:03,774
Who are you?
154
00:08:03,899 --> 00:08:04,984
Bender sent me.
155
00:08:06,068 --> 00:08:08,070
(NOISY MUSIC AND CHATTER)
156
00:08:11,740 --> 00:08:13,534
Hey, I know that guy.
157
00:08:20,332 --> 00:08:24,294
Scruffy, what is that tiny
Bender doing in my soup?
158
00:08:24,586 --> 00:08:27,548
It appears to be giving you
the finger, sir. Enjoy.
159
00:08:27,715 --> 00:08:31,260
Help me, help me! I'm too
lazy to escape! (GASPS)
160
00:08:32,594 --> 00:08:33,762
(BURPING)
161
00:08:33,929 --> 00:08:34,930
(CHUCKLING)
162
00:08:35,347 --> 00:08:37,266
(SCREAMING)
163
00:08:37,391 --> 00:08:38,392
(TINY THUD) Ow!
164
00:08:41,186 --> 00:08:42,187
(DINGING)
165
00:08:47,276 --> 00:08:48,318
What?
166
00:08:48,402 --> 00:08:49,611
This place
is crawling with yous!
167
00:08:50,112 --> 00:08:51,864
So there's more
Benders around.
168
00:08:51,947 --> 00:08:54,324
As far as I'm concerned,
that's good news.
169
00:08:54,408 --> 00:08:55,701
Bad news, everyone.
170
00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:57,578
Look at this
infinite series
171
00:08:57,661 --> 00:09:01,206
representing the mass of
successive generations of Benders.
172
00:09:02,124 --> 00:09:03,375
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
173
00:09:03,917 --> 00:09:05,461
(GASPS)
174
00:09:06,837 --> 00:09:07,880
Don't wait for me.
175
00:09:07,963 --> 00:09:09,965
It's non-convergent!
176
00:09:10,132 --> 00:09:11,383
Oh, dip!
177
00:09:11,550 --> 00:09:13,510
Unless we quickly
exterminate them,
178
00:09:13,594 --> 00:09:15,679
they'll replicate
ad infinitum
179
00:09:15,763 --> 00:09:18,474
and consume
all the matter on Earth.
180
00:09:18,766 --> 00:09:19,975
(WORRIED MUTTERING)
181
00:09:20,350 --> 00:09:24,438
According to my calculations, there
are 11 generations at the moment.
182
00:09:24,521 --> 00:09:28,192
That's 2,046 total Benders
we need to destroy.
183
00:09:28,609 --> 00:09:30,360
Wait, does that include me?
184
00:09:35,699 --> 00:09:36,700
(GROANING)
185
00:09:36,867 --> 00:09:39,328
Too bad he didn't
have his own Bible.
186
00:09:39,495 --> 00:09:42,581
Just 2,045 more to go.
187
00:09:43,999 --> 00:09:45,709
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
188
00:09:49,088 --> 00:09:51,090
Creatures have taken
over my house
189
00:09:51,173 --> 00:09:53,467
They want my food
and my skin and my time
190
00:09:53,759 --> 00:09:56,178
Little frogs are okay
but the slugs on the rug
191
00:09:56,261 --> 00:09:58,764
Send me out of my mind
192
00:09:59,181 --> 00:10:01,475
There's no place else
that I can go
193
00:10:01,725 --> 00:10:03,519
The only thing
I can turn to is
194
00:10:03,602 --> 00:10:05,187
Rock 'n' Roll Pest Control
195
00:10:05,270 --> 00:10:06,772
A-what?-ho
A-what?-ho Wha-ho
196
00:10:06,855 --> 00:10:08,524
Rock 'n' Roll Pest Control
197
00:10:08,607 --> 00:10:10,275
Rock 'n' Roll Pest Control
198
00:10:10,359 --> 00:10:11,860
A-what?-ho
A-what?-ho Wha-ho
199
00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:13,278
Rock 'n' Roll Pest Control
200
00:10:13,362 --> 00:10:14,571
All right!
201
00:10:16,865 --> 00:10:18,117
(ALL CRUNCHING)
202
00:10:19,201 --> 00:10:22,287
Two thousand
forty five, 2,046.
203
00:10:22,371 --> 00:10:24,665
That's it. We got 'em
all except for the big one.
204
00:10:24,748 --> 00:10:27,084
Wait, this isn't
a real Bender.
205
00:10:27,209 --> 00:10:30,087
It's a talking doll from
when Bender had that sitcom
206
00:10:30,170 --> 00:10:32,548
about the city robot
who moves back to the farm.
207
00:10:33,298 --> 00:10:35,217
Shut your pumpkin, bumpkin.
208
00:10:35,300 --> 00:10:37,052
(CANNED LAUGHTER)
209
00:10:37,302 --> 00:10:40,389
All right, so I let
one measly Bender get away.
210
00:10:40,472 --> 00:10:43,809
How much harm can one
infinitely self-reproducing robot do?
211
00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:46,603
Bender! How could you be
so lazy and irresponsible?
212
00:10:46,687 --> 00:10:47,688
(SNORING)
213
00:10:47,771 --> 00:10:50,065
Hey. What? Did
someone say I'm great?
214
00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:51,400
(CHEWING SOUNDS)
215
00:10:52,609 --> 00:10:53,944
(WORRIED MUTTERING)
216
00:10:54,111 --> 00:10:56,029
What's with the gray goo?
217
00:10:57,072 --> 00:10:58,949
Bite my tiny metal ass!
218
00:10:59,366 --> 00:11:01,952
Hey, those jerklings
ate my couch.
219
00:11:02,286 --> 00:11:05,622
God! We've opened
Pandora's fly.
220
00:11:05,706 --> 00:11:07,249
They'll reproduce
without limit,
221
00:11:07,332 --> 00:11:09,918
consuming all
the matter in the world!
222
00:11:10,085 --> 00:11:11,920
Like the Kardashians.
223
00:11:15,382 --> 00:11:18,886
Now they drank my booze?
They've gone too far!
224
00:11:19,094 --> 00:11:22,347
Wait a second. All Benders
are powered by alcohol!
225
00:11:22,431 --> 00:11:23,473
Of course.
226
00:11:23,765 --> 00:11:26,185
Long before
the Benders devour the Earth,
227
00:11:26,268 --> 00:11:29,104
they'll deplete the
planet's booze and die off.
228
00:11:29,229 --> 00:11:31,648
This is a problem
that will solve itself.
229
00:11:31,815 --> 00:11:33,609
A problem
that solves itself?
230
00:11:33,692 --> 00:11:36,320
That sounds like
a job for me, Bender.
231
00:11:36,695 --> 00:11:37,696
(SNORING)
232
00:11:39,781 --> 00:11:41,074
Our top story,
233
00:11:41,158 --> 00:11:44,703
all alcohol on Earth
has mysteriously disappeared.
234
00:11:44,786 --> 00:11:46,538
Consequences are minimal,
235
00:11:46,622 --> 00:11:48,999
except among
the most hardened alcoholics.
236
00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:50,584
Linda?
237
00:11:50,667 --> 00:11:53,670
I can no longer
face my children!
238
00:11:53,754 --> 00:11:55,297
(SOBBING)
239
00:11:55,547 --> 00:11:56,715
Crisis averted.
240
00:11:56,798 --> 00:11:59,343
Without alcohol, the
Benders are dying off.
241
00:11:59,676 --> 00:12:01,595
(ALL COUGHING, GASPING)
242
00:12:04,556 --> 00:12:07,059
A greater tragedy
my eyes have never beheld.
243
00:12:07,267 --> 00:12:09,311
Well, into the toilet.
244
00:12:12,105 --> 00:12:13,106
(COUGHS)
245
00:12:13,315 --> 00:12:16,526
So sober, so weak.
246
00:12:16,735 --> 00:12:19,404
Things really worked
out nicely this time.
247
00:12:19,821 --> 00:12:20,822
(SNORING)
248
00:12:22,699 --> 00:12:23,700
(SPUTTERING)
249
00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:27,788
This doesn't taste
like old-man water.
250
00:12:28,121 --> 00:12:30,624
Everyone to
the situation room!
251
00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:33,669
I was lying here snoozing,
252
00:12:33,752 --> 00:12:37,256
dreaming, oddly enough,
about bathing in champagne
253
00:12:37,339 --> 00:12:40,092
with six of the world's
most distinguished scientists,
254
00:12:40,175 --> 00:12:41,426
when suddenly,
255
00:12:41,510 --> 00:12:45,347
I realized my bathwater had
been transformed into alcohol.
256
00:12:45,639 --> 00:12:46,848
Alcohol?
257
00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:49,685
(CHEERING)
258
00:12:52,145 --> 00:12:54,022
Chug, chug,
chug, chug!
259
00:12:54,189 --> 00:12:56,358
Chug, chug, chug,
chug, chug!
260
00:12:56,483 --> 00:12:57,484
Mmm!
261
00:12:57,567 --> 00:13:01,613
It's like fine cognac
with a hint of aged scrotum.
262
00:13:02,406 --> 00:13:03,699
How can this be?
263
00:13:03,782 --> 00:13:06,702
I thought the Benders drank
all the alcohol in the world.
264
00:13:06,785 --> 00:13:09,246
They did,
but then they made more!
265
00:13:10,706 --> 00:13:14,376
You see, once the Benders
reached atomic scale,
266
00:13:14,459 --> 00:13:18,630
they began directly manipulating
water and CO2 molecules
267
00:13:18,714 --> 00:13:20,299
to make alcohol.
268
00:13:21,049 --> 00:13:22,134
(BURPING)
269
00:13:22,217 --> 00:13:23,218
(YELPING)
270
00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:24,511
In a matter of hours,
271
00:13:24,594 --> 00:13:27,472
there will be no more
fresh water on Earth.
272
00:13:29,224 --> 00:13:32,644
No! What will I
mix with my scotch?
273
00:13:39,067 --> 00:13:40,861
(SLURRING) Hey, you!
274
00:13:41,737 --> 00:13:43,238
Good evening.
275
00:13:43,322 --> 00:13:46,283
Who are you calling drunk?
You're not drunk. I'm drunk.
276
00:13:46,742 --> 00:13:48,076
That's right, Linda.
277
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,620
Water is now booze,
278
00:13:50,704 --> 00:13:53,749
and everyone's tiddy much
protally fit-shaced.
279
00:13:53,832 --> 00:13:54,833
(HICCUP-PING)
280
00:13:55,250 --> 00:13:59,338
Turning to sports,
the Indy 500 was today.
281
00:13:59,421 --> 00:14:01,423
There were no survivors.
282
00:14:03,592 --> 00:14:06,470
This chair is so comfortable.
283
00:14:06,928 --> 00:14:07,929
(VOMITING)
284
00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:10,098
(CHUCKLING) Classic Amy.
285
00:14:10,974 --> 00:14:12,726
You want to see
a picture of my boy?
286
00:14:12,809 --> 00:14:13,852
Sure.
287
00:14:15,103 --> 00:14:16,355
That's your penis.
288
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:17,731
That's my boy.
289
00:14:18,065 --> 00:14:20,901
I guess this isn't
not so bad.
290
00:14:21,151 --> 00:14:23,945
As long as we don't need
to use our mental...
291
00:14:24,071 --> 00:14:25,155
Mental...
292
00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:26,281
Minds?
293
00:14:26,406 --> 00:14:27,449
What?
294
00:14:32,954 --> 00:14:34,456
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
295
00:14:37,542 --> 00:14:39,002
No, listen.
296
00:14:39,086 --> 00:14:41,213
I freaking love you.
297
00:14:41,338 --> 00:14:43,298
And I don't throw
that word around.
298
00:14:43,423 --> 00:14:44,883
I know you don't.
299
00:14:44,966 --> 00:14:47,761
That's why I love you.
300
00:14:47,844 --> 00:14:50,305
Are the pizza muffins
ready?
301
00:14:50,722 --> 00:14:52,349
(ALL SCREAMING)
302
00:14:52,432 --> 00:14:54,518
He's here for revenging,
that's why!
303
00:14:54,601 --> 00:14:57,312
No!
Wait! I'm here to apologize.
304
00:14:57,479 --> 00:14:59,815
For your looks?
(LAUGHING)
305
00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:01,566
Nice one.
306
00:15:01,650 --> 00:15:04,403
Well, yes, actually, it
is sort of related to that.
307
00:15:04,486 --> 00:15:05,654
Can we talk?
308
00:15:05,821 --> 00:15:08,240
Grabbing your
spaceship was not okay.
309
00:15:08,448 --> 00:15:11,868
I lost my cool,
and I'm sorry.
310
00:15:11,993 --> 00:15:14,454
In group, I learned
that I tend to be a bit...
311
00:15:14,663 --> 00:15:15,997
Repulsive?
(CHUCKLING)
312
00:15:16,081 --> 00:15:17,290
Sensitive.
313
00:15:17,374 --> 00:15:20,001
So now I'm, like, trying
to work on my attitude,
314
00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:22,295
and project
an air of Positivity.
315
00:15:22,421 --> 00:15:24,589
You're projecting
an air of something.
316
00:15:24,673 --> 00:15:25,715
Phew!
317
00:15:26,174 --> 00:15:29,970
You're so stinky, you need
Right Guard and left guard.
318
00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:32,347
I'll take your
hygiene advice to heart.
319
00:15:32,472 --> 00:15:34,683
You're ugly!
(LAUGHING)
320
00:15:35,684 --> 00:15:37,686
(ARTILLERY FIRING)
Hey! Ow!
321
00:15:38,311 --> 00:15:39,855
Yo, freak show!
322
00:15:40,021 --> 00:15:43,525
Your face has been declared
a weapon of mass disgusting.
323
00:15:43,650 --> 00:15:45,652
(LAUGHING)
Timeless.
324
00:15:45,861 --> 00:15:48,196
Okay, deep breath,
deep breath.
325
00:15:53,535 --> 00:15:54,911
Dr. Lester man?
326
00:15:54,995 --> 00:15:55,954
I'm sorry to bother you,
327
00:15:56,037 --> 00:15:58,874
but I think I'm close
to a temper-control incident.
328
00:15:58,999 --> 00:16:00,292
RECORDING:
You have reached the office
329
00:16:00,375 --> 00:16:03,253
of Dr. Judy Lester man
and Dr. Ira Rothkiss.
330
00:16:03,336 --> 00:16:05,005
The office
is now closed.
331
00:16:05,213 --> 00:16:06,923
If this is
a pharmacy calling...
332
00:16:07,048 --> 00:16:08,049
(SCREAMING)
333
00:16:10,051 --> 00:16:13,972
That's it! I promised myself
I wouldn't do this, but...
334
00:16:16,558 --> 00:16:18,101
I will destroy you all!
335
00:16:18,268 --> 00:16:23,565
I won't stop until your whole planet
is as ugly as you perceive me to be!
336
00:16:23,732 --> 00:16:26,026
That will take
a very long time.
337
00:16:26,109 --> 00:16:29,571
(LAUGHING)
Okay. Stop! Stop!
338
00:16:33,783 --> 00:16:34,868
Stupid...
339
00:16:39,247 --> 00:16:42,167
Blender, you're the
only one who's sober.
340
00:16:42,250 --> 00:16:43,710
You got to do something!
341
00:16:43,793 --> 00:16:45,754
Haven't I done
enough already?
342
00:16:46,087 --> 00:16:49,716
Please, stop the monster.
Just do that one thing!
343
00:16:49,799 --> 00:16:51,801
Make it zero,
and you got a deal.
344
00:16:52,052 --> 00:16:55,764
(FRUSTRATED GRUNT) What if I
folded-ed the Professor's sweaters for you?
345
00:16:55,847 --> 00:16:56,973
Both of them?
346
00:16:57,098 --> 00:17:00,519
You mean you'll do two things,
and I only have to do one thing?
347
00:17:00,602 --> 00:17:02,646
Yeah. Just save the world.
348
00:17:03,146 --> 00:17:04,356
(CHUCKLING)
349
00:17:04,439 --> 00:17:05,482
Sucker.
350
00:17:07,943 --> 00:17:10,570
Legion of Benders,
come unto me!
351
00:17:10,654 --> 00:17:12,822
We have one thing to do.
352
00:17:13,114 --> 00:17:14,407
ALL BENDERS:
Screw that!
353
00:17:14,491 --> 00:17:16,034
Come on,
you lazy jerks!
354
00:17:16,117 --> 00:17:17,369
If we all pitch in,
355
00:17:17,452 --> 00:17:20,288
we each only have to do
one quintillionth of a thing.
356
00:17:20,747 --> 00:17:22,582
ALL BENDERS: (SIGHING)
All right.
357
00:17:39,516 --> 00:17:40,934
Whoa.
358
00:17:45,814 --> 00:17:48,984
Big Bender starts right now.
359
00:17:53,488 --> 00:17:55,198
Get a shave, ugly!
360
00:17:55,991 --> 00:17:56,992
Oh.
361
00:18:02,497 --> 00:18:04,499
How about some
aftershave, dumpy?
362
00:18:05,208 --> 00:18:06,334
You big bully!
363
00:18:06,543 --> 00:18:09,713
You ugly nerd, enjoy a
nice Guggenheim swirly!
364
00:18:09,796 --> 00:18:10,797
(CRASHING)
365
00:18:16,845 --> 00:18:18,346
(CRYING OUT IN PAIN)
366
00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:20,432
Let this beating be a lesson
367
00:18:20,515 --> 00:18:23,685
about never attacking those
more handsome than oneself.
368
00:18:24,644 --> 00:18:27,564
All I wanted was
to apologize to you people.
369
00:18:27,689 --> 00:18:29,774
But now
I have to kill you.
370
00:18:29,983 --> 00:18:32,611
How, by making me look at you?
(LAUGHING)
371
00:18:32,694 --> 00:18:35,488
No. By making you
look at my mama
372
00:18:35,572 --> 00:18:36,615
Ah!
373
00:18:36,698 --> 00:18:38,325
Your mama's so ugly!
374
00:18:38,408 --> 00:18:40,994
I told you not to
talk about my mama
375
00:18:51,713 --> 00:18:52,714
(GROANING)
376
00:19:01,097 --> 00:19:03,350
ROBOT GOD:
Walk toward the light, Bender.
377
00:19:03,433 --> 00:19:05,894
BENDER:
Man, do I have to walk?
378
00:19:06,144 --> 00:19:07,687
No!
379
00:19:10,649 --> 00:19:12,400
(LAUGHING)
380
00:19:13,068 --> 00:19:14,069
Huh?
381
00:19:14,152 --> 00:19:15,236
(SURPRISED CRY)
382
00:19:18,365 --> 00:19:20,241
No!
383
00:19:22,744 --> 00:19:24,996
At last I'm beautiful!
384
00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:29,000
BENDER: Yeah,
if you're into gray dust.
385
00:19:30,085 --> 00:19:31,878
(CHEERING)
386
00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:34,047
Bender, you di' it!
387
00:19:34,130 --> 00:19:36,174
No, we di' it.
388
00:19:36,966 --> 00:19:38,218
Ladies and gentlemen,
389
00:19:38,301 --> 00:19:41,930
if, together we were able to
defeat this giant space monster,
390
00:19:42,138 --> 00:19:43,932
think how also
we might defeat
391
00:19:44,015 --> 00:19:47,644
the monsters of poverty
and disease and unliteracy.
392
00:19:48,103 --> 00:19:51,022
In this spirit,
I ask my fellow Benders
393
00:19:51,106 --> 00:19:53,233
to join me in
working diligently to...
394
00:19:53,316 --> 00:19:54,693
Boo!
395
00:19:54,818 --> 00:19:56,194
Go to hell!
396
00:19:56,277 --> 00:19:57,862
Come on, let's go someplace
397
00:19:57,946 --> 00:20:01,282
where we don't have to do one
quintillionth of a thing all the time.
398
00:20:15,004 --> 00:20:16,631
Well, that was dumb.
399
00:20:19,634 --> 00:20:22,637
(ALL GROANING IN PAIN)
400
00:20:22,929 --> 00:20:24,723
Man, were we drunk.
401
00:20:24,806 --> 00:20:26,266
What happened, Professor?
402
00:20:26,349 --> 00:20:29,310
Something
absolutely incredible!
403
00:20:29,519 --> 00:20:31,563
The sweaters got folded!
404
00:20:31,646 --> 00:20:32,897
(SURPRISED MUTTERING)
405
00:20:32,981 --> 00:20:34,065
But how?
406
00:20:34,149 --> 00:20:35,400
I didn't do it.
407
00:20:35,483 --> 00:20:38,319
Bender, did you learn a
lesson about not being lazy
408
00:20:38,445 --> 00:20:40,822
while the rest of us were
bombed out of our gourds?
409
00:20:40,905 --> 00:20:42,490
Maybe I did, Fry.
410
00:20:42,574 --> 00:20:44,409
Maybe I did.
411
00:20:44,492 --> 00:20:46,828
Or maybe I rescued
one last mini-Bender
412
00:20:46,911 --> 00:20:50,749
to fold stupid, ugly sweaters
while I laughed at him. (GIGGLING)
413
00:20:51,207 --> 00:20:53,209
I guess we'll never know.
414
00:20:58,423 --> 00:21:00,550
(ALL BENDERS LAUGHING)
28424
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