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00:00:22,020 --> 00:00:23,770
Item one... Duck!
2
00:00:24,350 --> 00:00:25,560
(YELLS)
3
00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:28,150
Cubert, you crapscallion!
4
00:00:28,270 --> 00:00:29,690
Why aren't you in school?
5
00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:31,610
I couldn't get past
the protestors.
6
00:00:31,690 --> 00:00:33,280
A bunch of smiling,
angry people
7
00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:35,860
were handing out
these anti-evolution flyers.
8
00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:37,120
(GASPS)
9
00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:39,910
Evolution is under attack
in our schools?
10
00:00:39,990 --> 00:00:41,790
To the Science Mobile!
11
00:00:41,870 --> 00:00:45,370
You mean the ship?
Yes. The Science Mobile!
12
00:00:45,500 --> 00:00:49,130
It's just that you've
never called it that
before, but okay.
13
00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:00,350
I don't understand evolution,
14
00:01:00,430 --> 00:01:03,140
and I have to protect my kids
from understanding it!
15
00:01:03,390 --> 00:01:05,890
We will not give in
to the thinkers!
16
00:01:06,270 --> 00:01:07,270
(ALL CHEERING)
17
00:01:09,650 --> 00:01:12,650
You people are as loud
as you are ignorant.
18
00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:15,490
Now, get back
on your turnip trucks
and go home!
19
00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:16,950
(BOOING)
20
00:01:17,820 --> 00:01:21,330
That is
an insultingly
accurate stereotype, sir!
21
00:01:21,410 --> 00:01:22,910
As a professor of science,
22
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:27,290
I assure you that we did,
in fact, evolve
from filthy monkey-men!
23
00:01:27,370 --> 00:01:29,000
I cannot speak for you, sir,
24
00:01:29,210 --> 00:01:31,460
but my ancestors
were not monkeys.
25
00:01:31,550 --> 00:01:32,920
They were orangutans.
26
00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:35,550
Hard-working,
patriotic orangutans.
27
00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:37,260
Dr. Banjo?
28
00:01:37,340 --> 00:01:38,380
In the fur.
29
00:01:38,470 --> 00:01:41,100
And I remind you
that evolution is
merely a theory,
30
00:01:41,180 --> 00:01:43,010
like gravity,
or the shape of the Earth.
31
00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:48,560
Hey, Professor,
I'm a flying
spaghetti monster.
32
00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:53,110
You seriously believe
I'm descended from some
kind of flightless manicotti?
33
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,030
Yes!
Oh, please.
34
00:01:55,110 --> 00:01:56,820
A far more logical
explanation is
35
00:01:56,900 --> 00:01:59,660
the undisprovable
science of Creatureism.
36
00:01:59,910 --> 00:02:03,620
All life was created
in its present form
7,000 years ago
37
00:02:03,700 --> 00:02:06,500
by a fantastical creature
from outer space!
38
00:02:06,580 --> 00:02:07,870
Bunk!
Oh!
39
00:02:09,500 --> 00:02:12,630
If your elitist East Coast
evolution is real,
40
00:02:12,710 --> 00:02:14,340
why has no one found
the missing link
41
00:02:14,420 --> 00:02:16,670
between modern humans
and ancient apes?
42
00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:17,880
We did find it.
43
00:02:18,260 --> 00:02:19,970
It's called Homo erectus.
44
00:02:20,220 --> 00:02:22,050
Then you have proven
my case, sir,
45
00:02:22,140 --> 00:02:25,810
for no one has found
the link between apes
and this Homo erectus.
46
00:02:25,890 --> 00:02:28,850
Yes, they have!
It's called Homo habilis.
47
00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:29,940
Ah-ha!
48
00:02:30,060 --> 00:02:31,900
But no one has found
the missing link
49
00:02:31,980 --> 00:02:34,860
between ape
and this so-called
Homo habilis.
50
00:02:34,940 --> 00:02:36,030
Yes, they have!
51
00:02:36,110 --> 00:02:38,820
It's called
Australopithecus africanus!
52
00:02:38,900 --> 00:02:40,700
Oh-ho! I've got you now.
53
00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:45,200
Fair enough,
but where, then,
is the missing link
54
00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:48,160
between apes
and this Darwinius masillae?
55
00:02:48,250 --> 00:02:50,000
Answer me that,
Professor!
56
00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:51,330
(EXCLAIMS)
57
00:02:51,420 --> 00:02:55,090
Okay, granted,
that one missing link
is still missing,
58
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:58,510
but just because we haven't
found it doesn't mean
it doesn't exist!
59
00:02:58,590 --> 00:02:59,590
(EXCLAIMS)
60
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:02,840
Things don't exist
simply because
you believe in them.
61
00:03:02,930 --> 00:03:06,010
Thus sayeth
the Almighty Creature
in the Sky!
62
00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:16,690
FARNSWORTH: I'll show
that banana-swilling
poop-slinger!
63
00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:19,650
We just need to find
that last missing link.
64
00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:23,820
I found a missing link.
It seems to be half man,
half toucan.
65
00:03:23,910 --> 00:03:26,830
Not what we're looking for.
Throw it in the soup.
66
00:03:29,830 --> 00:03:31,120
And here's something.
67
00:03:31,210 --> 00:03:33,620
Uh-oh. It's another one
of Fry's dogs.
68
00:03:33,750 --> 00:03:36,130
You find something, Hermes?
Ah, no.
69
00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:40,760
(GROANS)
70
00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:43,470
I hate chiseling
right after a manicure.
71
00:03:44,300 --> 00:03:46,970
Oh! Darn it!
I broke off
one of my fingers!
72
00:03:47,180 --> 00:03:49,640
Look, Cubert.
The neck on this one.
73
00:03:49,810 --> 00:03:52,480
I bet he spent
a fortune on ties!
74
00:03:54,150 --> 00:03:55,350
What, too soon?
75
00:03:55,980 --> 00:04:00,070
(SNORTS) I highly doubt
a Jurassic elaphrosaurid
had access to neckwear.
76
00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:04,820
I knew I should have
gone with the
ring-around-the-collar joke.
77
00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:07,660
Hey, look!
I found a robot fossil!
78
00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:10,750
That's a bedspring,
you dumb bedspring!
79
00:04:10,830 --> 00:04:12,620
There are no robot fossils.
80
00:04:12,790 --> 00:04:15,080
What? Who says
I didn't evolve?
81
00:04:15,170 --> 00:04:16,290
Everybody!
82
00:04:16,380 --> 00:04:20,630
Robots were created
quite recently.
It was in all the papers.
83
00:04:20,710 --> 00:04:22,760
Then explain this!
84
00:04:22,840 --> 00:04:24,180
(CLINKING)
85
00:04:28,850 --> 00:04:30,100
(DIGGING)
86
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:33,350
FARNSWORTH: I've hit
a rich vein of missing links.
87
00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:37,520
Java man, Piltdown man,
Manfred Mann.
88
00:04:37,980 --> 00:04:39,730
(GASPS) Eureka!
89
00:04:40,110 --> 00:04:42,820
It's the elusive
missing missing link.
90
00:04:42,900 --> 00:04:45,610
This will show Banjo,
once and for all.
91
00:04:45,860 --> 00:04:47,370
ALL: Yeah!
92
00:04:48,530 --> 00:04:50,370
What the...
AMY: Oh, That's mine.
93
00:04:58,040 --> 00:04:59,380
Hmm. My tux doesn't fit.
94
00:04:59,460 --> 00:05:02,380
Probably because
I've grown so much
since I last wore it.
95
00:05:02,460 --> 00:05:04,720
Or evolved,
one might say.
96
00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:06,340
One might not say that.
97
00:05:06,430 --> 00:05:09,300
Your tux doesn't fit
because you stole it
from a boy.
98
00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:10,970
You mean a man.
99
00:05:11,060 --> 00:05:12,390
It was his Bar Mitzvah.
100
00:05:13,140 --> 00:05:14,890
Welcome, museum members.
101
00:05:14,980 --> 00:05:18,190
Or, as I like to call you,
future exhibits.
102
00:05:18,270 --> 00:05:19,440
(CHUCKLING WEAKLY)
103
00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:21,480
He's good.
104
00:05:21,570 --> 00:05:24,240
Tonight we have a new resident
here in the Hall of Hominids,
105
00:05:24,320 --> 00:05:27,860
generously donated
by its discoverer,
Hubert Farnsworth.
106
00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:30,280
Ladies and gentlemen,
Homo Farnsworth.
107
00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:37,000
Once again,
science saves the day.
108
00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:38,330
The end.
109
00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:42,170
And now, to discuss the
scientific implications
of this discovery,
110
00:05:42,250 --> 00:05:45,760
our new museum curator,
Dr. Banjo!
111
00:05:49,300 --> 00:05:52,600
Thank you,
Professor Farnsworth,
for your generous gift,
112
00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:55,270
which has, once and for all,
disproven evolution.
113
00:05:57,060 --> 00:05:58,810
Behold! Homo Farnsworth,
114
00:05:58,940 --> 00:06:01,940
frolicking with dinosaurs
at the moment of creation.
115
00:06:03,730 --> 00:06:06,610
I don't want to live
on this planet anymore.
116
00:06:13,910 --> 00:06:15,160
FARNSWORTH: Faster! Faster!
117
00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:17,710
Just drop me off
at that asteroid over there.
118
00:06:20,670 --> 00:06:23,540
Wow, this planetoid
is completely lifeless.
119
00:06:23,630 --> 00:06:25,550
Not lifeless enough!
120
00:06:25,670 --> 00:06:27,970
Set up my shack
so I can kick you
out of it!
121
00:06:29,300 --> 00:06:30,300
(YELLS)
122
00:06:31,090 --> 00:06:33,300
Professor, is this
your only water source?
123
00:06:33,430 --> 00:06:35,010
It looks like
Diet Dr. Pepper.
124
00:06:35,140 --> 00:06:38,930
It's not that bad.
It's just laden
with toxic minerals.
125
00:06:39,020 --> 00:06:40,480
But not for long.
126
00:06:41,270 --> 00:06:44,440
What's in the tube?
Microscopic Nanobots.
127
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:50,530
They're tiny robots I designed
to eat up nasty irritants.
128
00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:54,240
Speaking of nasty irritants,
what's gonna become of Cubert?
129
00:06:54,370 --> 00:06:56,370
Who? Oh, my son.
130
00:06:56,830 --> 00:07:00,540
Don't worry.
He's been safely abandoned
with his godfather.
131
00:07:01,290 --> 00:07:05,000
Cubert, I felt we needed
some father-son bonding time,
132
00:07:05,090 --> 00:07:09,260
so I found a couple
of baseball gloves and
boiled them up for lunch.
133
00:07:09,340 --> 00:07:11,430
Why don't you
just go to hell!
134
00:07:11,510 --> 00:07:14,890
Wait! We still have to
discuss the facts of life.
135
00:07:15,010 --> 00:07:16,430
What are they?
136
00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:18,720
(SIGHS)
137
00:07:18,810 --> 00:07:21,730
Okay, I finished moving
the last grand piano.
138
00:07:21,810 --> 00:07:23,060
Now can we have our pizza?
139
00:07:23,150 --> 00:07:25,860
You'll get
your damn pizza,
you parasite!
140
00:07:25,940 --> 00:07:29,490
First, let's see if
my Nanobots have purified
the water yet.
141
00:07:32,740 --> 00:07:33,780
(EXCLAIMS)
142
00:07:33,870 --> 00:07:37,700
The water's as sterile
as my milkman-trusting father.
143
00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:39,120
But what's this?
144
00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:41,790
The Nanobots have
gotten more complex.
145
00:07:41,870 --> 00:07:43,120
What's that you say?
146
00:07:43,210 --> 00:07:46,500
Those robots evolved
all by themselves, you say?
147
00:07:46,590 --> 00:07:49,590
It wasn't by themselves.
I put them there.
148
00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:51,720
I'm a genius.
Get over it!
149
00:07:51,970 --> 00:07:53,630
Hey, look.
Now they got bigger.
150
00:07:54,340 --> 00:07:56,550
FARNSWORTH: Good heavens!
Trilobots!
151
00:08:04,060 --> 00:08:07,360
Oh, no!
My sunglasses
were in there!
152
00:08:14,740 --> 00:08:16,120
(SCREAMING)
153
00:08:16,910 --> 00:08:17,990
Get off!
154
00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,240
Let's get the pizza
out of here!
155
00:08:25,670 --> 00:08:26,920
(PANTING)
156
00:08:27,210 --> 00:08:30,210
Look, there's a cave-like hole
in that mountain.
157
00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:31,590
It might be a cave.
158
00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:33,220
(PANTING)
159
00:08:40,430 --> 00:08:41,680
LEELA: Does anyone have
a lighter?
160
00:08:41,770 --> 00:08:43,350
BENDER: Hang on.
(OPENING BOTTLE)
161
00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:44,810
(GULPING)
162
00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:45,900
(BURPING)
163
00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:49,940
Okay, we have shelter
164
00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:52,860
and just enough precious food
to ward off starvation.
165
00:08:52,940 --> 00:08:54,530
It's pizza time!
166
00:08:56,950 --> 00:08:58,240
Pineapple?
167
00:08:58,660 --> 00:09:00,620
Oh, man!
So much for that.
168
00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:06,210
Hello. I remembered
you liked superheroes,
169
00:09:06,290 --> 00:09:08,460
so I painted you a mural
on your wall.
170
00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:10,420
This is Father-Man.
171
00:09:10,500 --> 00:09:13,210
He fights crime
to earn Son-Boy's
respect.
172
00:09:13,550 --> 00:09:15,550
Is it working?
This is sucky!
173
00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:18,930
You suck! Who taught you to do
three-point perspective?
174
00:09:19,010 --> 00:09:21,850
I could make a better mural
with my butt!
175
00:09:23,180 --> 00:09:25,890
Father-Man away.
176
00:09:29,900 --> 00:09:31,150
(SNORING)
177
00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:32,780
(YAWNS)
178
00:09:32,980 --> 00:09:35,650
Nothing like a cave
for a good night's sleep.
179
00:09:35,820 --> 00:09:38,450
So, what do we got to eat
that's not poisoned
with pineapple?
180
00:09:38,530 --> 00:09:43,080
I packed plenty of food,
but it's all in
dehydrated pill form.
181
00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:45,120
Then we need water
from that pond.
182
00:09:45,210 --> 00:09:47,460
We'll have to fight our way
past the Trilobots.
183
00:09:49,460 --> 00:09:51,750
Go! Go!
Hit anything
that moves!
184
00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:54,840
(ALL EXCLAIMING IN PAIN)
185
00:09:57,050 --> 00:09:58,090
(ALL EXCLAIM)
186
00:09:58,180 --> 00:09:59,970
Whoa.
Wow.
187
00:10:00,050 --> 00:10:02,470
AMY: A whole forest
grew overnight.
188
00:10:02,680 --> 00:10:03,680
(METALLIC CLANGING)
189
00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:05,680
All these trees are robotic.
190
00:10:05,770 --> 00:10:08,230
I can't believe how quickly
they sprung up.
191
00:10:08,310 --> 00:10:12,270
I can.
Robots do everything faster,
including evolving
192
00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:14,570
and believing
how quickly things
spring up.
193
00:10:19,860 --> 00:10:24,740
One thing about
Bristol-Myers Squibb, they
know how to cook a steak.
194
00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:27,450
Hey, look at me.
I'm the Ty-D-Bol Man.
195
00:10:27,540 --> 00:10:29,710
I own a yacht,
and everybody poops on me!
196
00:10:32,290 --> 00:10:33,630
(SCREAMING)
197
00:10:34,340 --> 00:10:35,710
Help! Police!
198
00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:37,380
Everybody grab a club.
199
00:10:42,850 --> 00:10:44,220
(SCREAMING)
200
00:10:46,390 --> 00:10:49,020
Oh, big, tough water guy,
why don't you come up here
on land and...
201
00:10:49,560 --> 00:10:50,940
(SCREAMING)
202
00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:55,230
Look out for the next thing!
203
00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:58,740
(SCREAMING)
204
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,740
Great Scott,
a Tricycle-tops.
205
00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:06,290
(BOTH ROARING)
206
00:11:09,660 --> 00:11:10,660
(CHEERING)
207
00:11:10,750 --> 00:11:13,170
Throw down,
dinosaurs of the land and sea.
208
00:11:13,250 --> 00:11:14,250
(CAWING)
209
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:15,340
(SCREAMING)
210
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:19,630
This is a cool way to die!
211
00:11:21,590 --> 00:11:23,010
Dr. Zoidberg?
212
00:11:23,090 --> 00:11:25,800
I'm sorry for treating
you like a total Zoidberg...
213
00:11:25,890 --> 00:11:26,930
I mean, loser.
214
00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:29,520
Go on.
215
00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:31,940
It's just that
I get bullied a lot.
216
00:11:32,230 --> 00:11:35,480
I guess I kind of
make fun of people as
a defense mechanism.
217
00:11:35,770 --> 00:11:38,780
Hey, Cubert,
is that your family mansion?
218
00:11:38,900 --> 00:11:40,030
(LAUGHS MOCKINGLY)
219
00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:43,320
Why don't you ask your mom?
She's coming over
for a sex visit.
220
00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:44,870
(GROWLING)
221
00:11:48,290 --> 00:11:49,660
(WHIMPERING)
222
00:11:49,950 --> 00:11:52,210
Don't worry,
I know how
to handle bullies.
223
00:11:52,290 --> 00:11:54,040
Just pretend like
you're pathetic.
224
00:11:54,540 --> 00:11:56,590
Help, I'm scared!
I wet myself.
225
00:11:56,670 --> 00:11:59,210
I'm crying like a baby
and I'm soaking in pee,
226
00:11:59,300 --> 00:12:00,630
but what else is new?
227
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,010
(CRYING)
228
00:12:02,930 --> 00:12:04,090
(LAUGHS MOCKINGLY)
229
00:12:04,300 --> 00:12:06,430
The pee-babies
peed themselves.
230
00:12:06,510 --> 00:12:08,640
I'm off to pottery class,
dorkwads.
231
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,020
And that's that.
232
00:12:12,100 --> 00:12:15,940
Whoa! You're
like some kind
of dumpster Jedi.
233
00:12:16,310 --> 00:12:19,150
So, you want to
come in maybe?
234
00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:22,650
I've got a nice pound cake
with a footprint on it.
235
00:12:27,410 --> 00:12:28,490
Don't eat my butt!
236
00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:34,040
If this is anything like
killing that pigeon
on my balcony,
237
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:35,920
we've got our work
cut out for us.
238
00:12:36,170 --> 00:12:37,840
(TIRES SQUEALING)
239
00:12:39,090 --> 00:12:40,460
(SCREAMING)
240
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:49,600
Look out, a solar flare!
241
00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:02,900
What the shmell happened?
242
00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:04,490
A mass extinction.
243
00:13:05,070 --> 00:13:08,570
That solar flare
created a huge
electromagnetic pulse
244
00:13:08,660 --> 00:13:10,950
that, while harmless
to organic life,
245
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,450
short-circuited
the robo-dinosaurs.
246
00:13:13,540 --> 00:13:14,620
Convenient.
247
00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:18,170
Only puny mammal-like robots
cowering in caves
248
00:13:18,250 --> 00:13:20,040
could survive such
a catastrophe.
249
00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:24,050
Guys, guys!
I taught myself to knit.
250
00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:25,550
Wait a moment.
251
00:13:26,050 --> 00:13:29,550
If we could scavenge
the right parts
from these robo-dinos,
252
00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:32,640
I might be able to construct
a rudimentary spaceship
253
00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:34,390
to get us off this planet!
254
00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:41,520
Oh, well, it took
almost two hours,
but it's finished.
255
00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:42,900
(ALL CHEERING)
256
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:45,820
Now let's go to sleep.
257
00:13:45,900 --> 00:13:49,410
It's solar powered,
so we can't take off
until sunrise.
258
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:54,080
Well, let's find something
comfy to bed down on.
259
00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:56,410
(SNORING)
260
00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:05,550
(MUFFLED YELLING)
261
00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:19,100
(ROOSTER CROWING)
262
00:14:22,770 --> 00:14:24,860
(ALL YAWNING)
263
00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:27,530
Hey, looky here.
264
00:14:32,030 --> 00:14:33,030
(HORN HONKING)
265
00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:35,410
HERMES: Sweet robot swan
of Botswana!
266
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:39,210
Looks like the fittest
did a little surviving
last night, huh?
267
00:14:39,290 --> 00:14:40,330
Whatever.
268
00:14:40,420 --> 00:14:41,710
Hey, looky there.
269
00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:43,460
(SCREAMING)
270
00:14:43,670 --> 00:14:47,710
(GASPS) Those robo-cavemen
have kidnapped our
human regular-women.
271
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:48,800
We gotta save them!
272
00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:51,470
But the only weapon we have
is my fan dance.
273
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:56,720
Hmm. I believe I can
fashion a slingshot using
this robot wishbone
274
00:14:56,810 --> 00:14:59,140
and this elastic
from my pants.
275
00:15:03,900 --> 00:15:05,230
(GRUNTING)
276
00:15:07,860 --> 00:15:10,570
I think they want wives,
so just play along.
277
00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:13,530
If it doesn't work out,
we'll still get
half their rocks.
278
00:15:13,620 --> 00:15:17,740
I can earn my own rocks.
Also, I don't want any rocks.
279
00:15:18,410 --> 00:15:22,420
Well, it took almost 12 hours,
but it's finished.
280
00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:25,170
HERMES: It's too dark now,
281
00:15:25,250 --> 00:15:27,590
but first thing tomorrow,
we'll slingshot them
282
00:15:27,670 --> 00:15:29,840
like they've never
been slangshat.
283
00:15:36,970 --> 00:15:38,220
(YELLING)
284
00:15:42,850 --> 00:15:44,980
What's going on?
How did we save you?
285
00:15:45,060 --> 00:15:46,440
It was
the weirdest thing.
286
00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:50,360
We went to sleep,
and when we woke up,
our cave husbands were gone.
287
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:52,490
I'm gonna miss Spencer.
288
00:15:56,580 --> 00:16:00,200
Don't be afraid, little guys.
I'm not going to hurt you.
289
00:16:01,830 --> 00:16:02,830
(WHISTLES)
290
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:04,500
Nice net.
291
00:16:04,580 --> 00:16:06,540
(STAMMERING)
You can speak?
292
00:16:06,670 --> 00:16:07,880
Dread my locks!
293
00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:10,170
A fully-evolved robot human!
294
00:16:10,260 --> 00:16:12,380
I'm Dr. Widnar,
a naturalist.
295
00:16:12,590 --> 00:16:14,380
And I'm Bender, baby.
296
00:16:14,510 --> 00:16:17,100
My human slaves and I
come from a planet
297
00:16:17,180 --> 00:16:20,930
where organic life
and robotic life evolved
side by side.
298
00:16:21,140 --> 00:16:22,560
Oh, shut up!
299
00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:24,100
Amazing.
300
00:16:24,190 --> 00:16:27,650
I've theorized
that carbon-based,
fat-filled life could exist,
301
00:16:27,730 --> 00:16:30,280
but until today,
I never had any proof.
302
00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:32,570
Good for you.
Can we go home now?
303
00:16:37,740 --> 00:16:39,120
(MURMURING)
304
00:16:48,710 --> 00:16:50,210
Welcome, museum members,
305
00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:53,550
or as I like to call you,
future exhibits.
306
00:16:54,090 --> 00:16:55,090
(ROBOT COUGHS)
307
00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:57,890
I now present
my latest discovery,
308
00:16:57,970 --> 00:17:02,140
the amazing
non-mechanical man,
Homo Farnsworth.
309
00:17:04,270 --> 00:17:05,350
Thank you.
310
00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:09,020
I must say,
I'm so proud to see
what you've blossomed into
311
00:17:09,110 --> 00:17:11,690
since I first created
your ancestors.
312
00:17:11,780 --> 00:17:12,860
(ALL GASP)
313
00:17:12,940 --> 00:17:15,200
What?
I thought you knew.
314
00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:19,280
You all evolved
from some filth-gobbling
Nanobots I designed.
315
00:17:19,370 --> 00:17:22,450
I dumped them
in one of your ponds
a few days ago.
316
00:17:22,540 --> 00:17:25,210
But this is
creationist talk.
317
00:17:25,290 --> 00:17:26,750
He speaks lies!
318
00:17:26,830 --> 00:17:29,460
The Earth was created
in eons, not days.
319
00:17:29,670 --> 00:17:32,300
Yes, relative to you,
it was eons,
320
00:17:32,380 --> 00:17:36,300
but, well, look at
this hologram I took
the day before yesterday
321
00:17:36,380 --> 00:17:39,550
of a robot frolicking
with a robo-dinosaur.
322
00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:41,010
(ALL GASP)
323
00:17:42,220 --> 00:17:44,180
I don't want to live
on this planet anymore.
324
00:17:47,770 --> 00:17:50,310
You're under arrest
for crimes against science.
325
00:17:50,650 --> 00:17:52,520
No!
326
00:17:52,820 --> 00:17:55,070
Could you drag me
by the restroom?
327
00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:01,660
(CHATTERING)
328
00:18:02,540 --> 00:18:04,450
MAN: Go back to Roboklahoma!
329
00:18:05,410 --> 00:18:09,000
Order!
In the matter of
Everyone v. Farnsworth,
330
00:18:09,170 --> 00:18:12,960
the alleged creationist
faces a sentence
of death by melting.
331
00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:15,170
Who is representing
the accused?
332
00:18:15,510 --> 00:18:17,220
I am.
I am, Your Honor.
333
00:18:17,300 --> 00:18:18,300
(ALL GASP)
334
00:18:18,590 --> 00:18:20,550
Bender, what the hell
are you doing?
335
00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:22,800
Shut up,
I'm billing you
by the hour!
336
00:18:22,890 --> 00:18:25,390
Besides, I'm a robot,
they'll listen to me.
337
00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:26,930
(CLEARING THROAT)
338
00:18:27,020 --> 00:18:29,390
Ladytrons and gentlebots...
339
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:34,150
Objection. In the absence
of pants, defense's suspenders
serve no purpose.
340
00:18:34,230 --> 00:18:36,690
I'm going to allow them
for now.
341
00:18:36,860 --> 00:18:40,110
Thank you.
Your Honor, this meat-man
does not deny
342
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:43,240
that we robots
are the glorious product
of evolution.
343
00:18:43,330 --> 00:18:47,700
He claims only to have played
a small role in supplying
the initial machinery.
344
00:18:47,790 --> 00:18:50,040
I ask you,
is that so crazy?
345
00:18:50,500 --> 00:18:52,540
Yes, it's completely crazy,
346
00:18:52,630 --> 00:18:56,800
and that is why you must
find him not guilty
by reason of insanity!
347
00:18:57,090 --> 00:18:58,260
(ALL GASP)
348
00:18:58,340 --> 00:19:00,680
Objection! I'm not crazy.
349
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:02,050
I created you all,
350
00:19:02,140 --> 00:19:05,640
and I came here
in a homemade spaceship
and lived in a cave.
351
00:19:05,770 --> 00:19:08,390
If you don't believe me,
ask my uncle.
352
00:19:10,100 --> 00:19:11,810
Prosecutor,
your opening statement?
353
00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:13,310
Yeah, honey,
I'll be home for dinner.
354
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:14,980
The prosecution rests,
Your Honor.
355
00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:16,150
Very well.
356
00:19:16,230 --> 00:19:19,860
We will reconvene
when the jury reaches
a verdict.
357
00:19:25,740 --> 00:19:28,750
Son, you in
a whole mess of trouble.
358
00:19:36,460 --> 00:19:37,750
(SNORING)
359
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:39,920
(GAVEL THUDDING)
360
00:19:40,010 --> 00:19:41,010
What?
361
00:19:41,090 --> 00:19:43,340
JUDGE: Has the jury reached
a verdict?
362
00:19:43,430 --> 00:19:45,010
MAN: No, we have not,
363
00:19:45,180 --> 00:19:48,430
for we have evolved
to a higher state
of consciousness.
364
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:53,140
In the grand scheme,
all physical beings
are but yokels.
365
00:19:53,230 --> 00:19:56,570
Now, settle your
petty squabbles and
get the hell out.
366
00:19:59,570 --> 00:20:01,440
That'll be $10,000.
367
00:20:12,460 --> 00:20:15,080
Well, digital photographs
don't lie.
368
00:20:15,170 --> 00:20:19,170
I admit that what you
witnessed may have been
some form of evolution.
369
00:20:19,260 --> 00:20:21,720
I'm glad you agree,
Dr. Banjo.
370
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:25,590
Evolution set in motion
by a wise and
all-knowing creator.
371
00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:26,680
You.
372
00:20:26,850 --> 00:20:30,180
(CHUCKLES) Well, I don't know
about all-knowing.
373
00:20:30,270 --> 00:20:32,930
And I admit it's possible,
however unlikely,
374
00:20:33,020 --> 00:20:35,940
that some wise
and all-knowing alien monster
375
00:20:36,020 --> 00:20:38,610
set evolution in motion
here on Earth.
376
00:20:38,690 --> 00:20:41,360
Oh, oh, and the creator
could also be a robot.
377
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:45,200
(SCOFFS) Then who built
this so-called creator robot?
378
00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:47,700
Some magical bearded robot
in the sky?
379
00:20:49,490 --> 00:20:52,250
I guess that
would be stupid.
Never mind.
380
00:20:52,330 --> 00:20:53,500
Then it's settled.
381
00:20:53,580 --> 00:20:57,790
Finally, a world
in which I'm happy
to raise my son.
382
00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:00,130
Good, 'cause I'm
sick of him.
383
00:21:00,250 --> 00:21:02,420
(ALL LAUGHING)
384
00:21:03,170 --> 00:21:05,800
I'm serious.
He's a terrible person.
385
00:21:37,170 --> 00:21:38,170
ENGLISH - US - PSDH
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