Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

♪ It's gonna take a lotta love ♪

♪ To get us through the night-- ♪

♪ She's got long brown hair Tied up in a little red bonnet ♪

♪ She's got a pretty white blouse And a basket with fresh fruit upon it ♪

♪ She's got a glow in her cheeks And a fire inside ♪

♪ Sitting in a beautiful countryside ♪

♪ Oh, masturbating To the lady on the box of raisins ♪

♪ She's the happiest she's been in years ♪

♪ He puts on a big smile on her face ♪

♪ She's the happiest she's been in years ♪

♪ He puts a big smile on her face ♪

♪ He's got a good job And me and my parents love the dude ♪

♪ You can tell That he's gonna be faithful ♪

♪ The whole family is happy as hell ♪

♪ My sister's got an ugly new boyfriend ♪

♪ Every day I'm mutterin' ♪

♪ Mutterin' under my breath ♪

♪ If you ask me to do a task ♪

♪ I do it every time ♪

♪ But the whole time that I'm doing it ♪

♪ I'll be mutterin' under my breath ♪

♪ Things I'd never say to your face ♪

♪ But the second that you're gone ♪

♪ I mutter like a crazy asshole ♪

♪ While I angrily mow the lawn ♪

♪ Raking leaves ♪

♪ I'm mutterin' ♪

♪ Shovel snow ♪

♪ I'm mutterin' ♪

♪ Go to the bank! ♪

♪ You know I'm mutterin' ♪

♪ Take out the trash! ♪

♪ There's mutterin' ♪

♪ When there's toys At the bottom of the pool ♪

♪ Left there by my daughter ♪

♪ As I swim down to get them ♪

♪ I'll be mutterin' underwater ♪

♪ Everyday, I'm mutterin' ♪

♪ Mutterin' under my breath ♪

♪ Then one day my wife Overhears what I'm saying ♪

♪ And immediately slits ♪

♪ My throat ♪

♪ Driving back from Disneyland ♪

♪ Going over all the fun ♪

♪ What was best? Space Mountain? ♪

♪ Or getting wet On the Grizzly River Run, yeah! ♪

♪ Greatest time of our kids' life ♪

♪ What a magical moment For me and my wife ♪

♪ Then I miss our exit And I scream, "Fucking cunt!" ♪

♪ And it's like Disneyland never happened! ♪

♪ Sleep in late ♪

♪ Eat a big breakfast ♪

♪ Walk the dog ♪

♪ Watch the news ♪

♪ Go to the bathroom ♪

♪ Start my laundry ♪

♪ Go on the Internet ♪

♪ Buy some new shoes ♪

♪ Leave the apartment For lunch with my landlord ♪

♪ Come back home ♪

♪ Take the dog for a walk again ♪

♪ Turn on my TV ♪

♪ Watch Jerry Maguire ♪

♪ I've seen it before ♪

♪ But I'll watch it again ♪

♪ Pretty good day ♪

♪ Pretty good life ♪

♪ I am clinically depressed ♪

♪ Old guy with a kid ♪

♪ Started too late Now he's paying for it ♪

♪ Old guy with a kid ♪

♪ At the soccer practice Facing the wrong way ♪

♪ Old guy with a kid ♪

♪ Also has a middle-age son He never sees ♪

♪ Old guy with a kid ♪

♪ Just fell asleep at the Chuck-E-Cheese ♪

♪ Grandma in yoga pants ♪

♪ Not exercising Just looking fucking crazy ♪

♪ Grandma in yoga pants ♪

♪ From behind she looks Like an ice cream cone ♪

♪ Grandma in yoga pants ♪

♪ That's not a camel toe It's a walrus poon ♪

♪ Grandma in yoga pants ♪

♪ When she takes them off Her belly button coughs ♪

♪ Bulldog in a Halloween costume ♪

♪ He's a bumblebee And he don't look happy ♪

♪ Bulldog in a Halloween costume ♪

♪ He's just a dog But he understands dignity ♪

♪ Bulldog in a Halloween costume ♪

♪ His grandpa was a wolf Now he's wearing antennas ♪

♪ Bulldog in a Halloween costume ♪

♪ When you get home You're gonna get bit ♪

♪ Guy with a backpack at the movies ♪

♪ Now I can't focus On what Spider-Man's doing ♪

♪ Guy with a backpack at the movies ♪

♪ Every time he moves I shit myself ♪

♪ Guy with a backpack at the movies ♪

♪ Sitting right between me And the fucking exit ♪

♪ Guy with a backpack at the movies ♪

♪ Pulls shit out Thank God, it's Twizzlers ♪

♪ Fat cop on a horse ♪

♪ Both breathing heavy Are they gonna make it? ♪

♪ Fat cop on a horse ♪

♪ Praying nothing happens At this fucking parade ♪

♪ Fat cop on a horse ♪

♪ What did he do That they took away his squad car? ♪

♪ Fat cop on a horse ♪

♪ A trail of manure But it's coming from the cop ♪

♪ Getting a divorce ♪

♪ It seems so fun from the outside ♪

♪ Now you can do Whatever you want ♪

♪ And nobody will stop you ♪

♪ Maybe you'll travel the world ♪

♪ Maybe you'll go to the movies ♪

♪ Maybe you'll learn a new language ♪

♪ Or meet some pretty ladies ♪

♪ Or maybe you'll just Move in with your sister ♪

♪ And ruin her marriage too ♪

♪ Guy with a drone ♪

♪ Making everybody On the beach today ♪

♪ Uncomfortable ♪

♪ Guy with a drone ♪

♪ Remote control In front of his swimsuit boner ♪

♪ He says there's A pod of whales out there ♪

♪ On the ocean today ♪

♪ It might be the rarest sight He's ever seen ♪

♪ But if that's true ♪

♪ Why is his drone just hovering ♪

♪ Over my wife? ♪

♪ He seems like an odd little fellow ♪

♪ I think it's time to beat him ♪

♪ With my beach umbrella ♪

♪ Mommy Why's the door locked? ♪

♪ Daddy Why don't you answer? ♪

♪ I hear Mommy screaming While Daddy says ♪

♪ Yes, oh yes ♪

♪ So I go and get the key ♪

♪ And I creep in carefully ♪

♪ And much to my surprise ♪

♪ Right in front of my eyes ♪

♪ I see Daddy hitting Mommy ♪

♪ With his penis ♪

♪ Mommy, why are the sheets wet? ♪

♪ Daddy, what's with the bedhead ♪

♪ I hear Daddy say to Mommy ♪

♪ Honey, I didn't finish yet ♪

♪ Mom says we'll find another way ♪

♪ 'Cause her little boy can't stay ♪

♪ So I cuddle up real nice ♪

♪ Right between Mommy's thighs ♪

♪ And then Daddy pokes my eye out ♪

♪ With his penis ♪

♪ These days she doesn't need my help ♪

♪ Getting into bed ♪

♪ She doesn't need me to tuck her in ♪

♪ Or kiss her on the head ♪

♪ And she don't need me to pick her up ♪

♪ At her best friend's front door ♪

♪ She got her driver's license yesterday ♪

♪ She don't need me anymore ♪

♪ Oh no ♪

♪ Oh no ♪

♪ Oh no ♪

♪ Doesn't need me to practice soccer ♪

♪ Says she doesn't like sports ♪

♪ She don't need me to teach her algebra ♪

♪ Or help on book reports ♪

♪ And she don't need me To take her swimming ♪

♪ It's like she'd wish I'd disappear ♪

♪ But she still needs me ♪

♪ To buy her friends beer ♪

♪ Buy her friends beer ♪

♪ When she needs a case of Natty Ice She'll come running to me ♪

♪ Buy her friends beer ♪

♪ Forty cans of tallboys Yeah, I'm still in the party ♪

♪ Buy her friends beer ♪

♪ No store would ever sell it to them ♪

♪ 'Cause they all look like they're ten ♪

♪ And when my baby girl gets a DUI ♪

♪ She'll be back In Daddy's car seat again ♪

♪ Getting a divorce ♪

♪ Because I bought beer for my daughter ♪

♪ Scary shit's coming ♪

♪ My mother just flew out to visit ♪

♪ And I asked her How long she's staying for ♪

♪ And she says "I didn't book a return flight" ♪

♪ More scary shit's coming ♪

♪ I'm driving down the road At three o'clock in the afternoon ♪

♪ And I can't see shit 'Cause the sun is directly in my eyes ♪

♪ But I just do what everybody else does ♪

♪ I keep driving and pray I don't fucking hit anyone ♪

♪ Did I hear a thud? ♪

♪ Did I see a blonde wig Fly over the car? ♪

♪ Along with six pieces of sushi ♪

♪ And then I realized I just killed David Spade ♪

♪ More... ♪

♪ More scary shit's coming ♪

♪ I'm watching porno ♪

♪ On my iPhone ♪

♪ And no sound is coming out ♪

♪ Then I realize I'm connected to Bluetooth ♪

♪ In my wife's car ♪

♪ And she's taking the kids To soccer practice ♪

♪ More scary shit's coming ♪

♪ It's Halloween night And I can't find my weed gummies ♪

♪ Then I realize my mother is Handing them out to all the children ♪

♪ More fucking scary shit ♪

♪ And I can't believe it either ♪

♪ A little louder ♪

♪ Not that loud, that scared me ♪

♪ I just tried To send my wife a dick pic ♪

♪ But I accidentally sent it To Al Pacino ♪

♪ And he sent me two back ♪

♪ Last fucking scary thing ♪

♪ I just found my wife's vibrator ♪

♪ On the bed in the guest room ♪

♪ Where my mother is staying ♪

♪ And it was still warm ♪

♪ It's now or never ♪

♪ Come hold me tight ♪

♪ Kiss me, my darling ♪

♪ Be mine tonight ♪

♪ Tomorrow ♪

♪ Will be too late ♪

♪ It's now or never ♪

♪ My love won't wait ♪

♪ When I first saw you ♪

♪ With your smile so tender ♪

♪ My heart was captured ♪

♪ My soul surrendered ♪

♪ I spent a lifetime ♪

♪ Waiting for the right time ♪

♪ Now that you're near ♪

♪ The time is here, at last ♪

♪ It's now or never ♪

♪ Come hold me tight ♪

♪ Kiss me, my darling ♪

♪ Be mine tonight ♪

♪ Tomorrow ♪

♪ Will be too late ♪

♪ It's now or never ♪

♪ My love won't wait ♪

♪ Just like a willow ♪

♪ We would cry an ocean ♪

♪ If we lost true love ♪

♪ And sweet devotion ♪

♪ Your lips excite me ♪

♪ Let your arms invite me ♪

♪ For who knows when ♪

♪ We'll meet again ♪

♪ This way ♪

♪ It's now or never ♪

♪ Come hold me tight ♪

♪ Kiss me, my darling ♪

♪ Be mine tonight ♪

♪ Tomorrow ♪

♪ Will be too late ♪

♪ It's now or never ♪

♪ My love won't wait ♪

♪ It's now or never ♪

♪ My love won't wait ♪

♪ It's now or never ♪

♪ My love won't wait ♪

♪ You down boy ♪

♪ No one around boy ♪

♪ Head in your hands And pain, so much pain ♪

♪ How can you ever be yourself again? ♪

♪ Where do you go now? ♪

♪ To get back your soul now? ♪

♪ Do you stare at the ceiling ♪

♪ And tune yourself out? ♪

♪ Or crawl in the bottle ♪

♪ And never crawl out? ♪

♪ You're just searching and searching ♪

♪ For the big takeaway ♪

♪ How the hell did this happen? ♪

♪ You look up and pray ♪

♪ For the smile, girl ♪

♪ It's been a while, girl ♪

♪ You need a fix ♪

♪ And you need it fast ♪

♪ How can you put All this shit in the past? ♪

♪ Yeah, who's gonna be the hero? ♪

♪ To get you through the night ♪

♪ Who's gonna wrap their arms around you ♪

♪ And make everything alright? ♪

♪ You know, it's comedy ♪

♪ Here comes the comedy ♪

♪ Got you smilin' and gigglin' ♪

♪ Like you were a kid ♪

♪ Didn't think it could get ya ♪

♪ But it just fuckin' did ♪

♪ You're laughin' so hard ♪

♪ As you feel the pain pass ♪

♪ All because Ace Ventura ♪

♪ Just talked with his ass, yeah ♪

♪ The comedy ♪

♪ There's so much stress, kid ♪

♪ You're such a mess, kid ♪

♪ If you're first boyfriend dumps you ♪

♪ Through a text on the phone ♪

♪ Or a note's on the dresser ♪

♪ She ain't coming home ♪

♪ When you're down with a case ♪

♪ Of the gettin'-bullied blues ♪

♪ Or holding their hand Through the doctor's bad news ♪

♪ You can do the pints of ice cream ♪

♪ Cry and cry in bed ♪

♪ Or run away ♪

♪ Or scream all day ♪

♪ Or try this one instead ♪

♪ Try on the comedy ♪

♪ We all need the comedy ♪

♪ You look close to the edge ♪

♪ And you gave it a chance ♪

♪ Now you're doing spit takes ♪

♪ And you're pissing your pants ♪

♪ Yeah, the pain and the heartbreak Got knocked off its feet ♪

♪ All because all these bridesmaids ♪

♪ Just shit in the street ♪

♪ Yeah, the comedy ♪

♪ Nothing beats the comedy ♪

♪ Yeah, actors can play dramatic ♪

♪ Singers can kill a song ♪

♪ But comedians say, "Fuck you, sadness" ♪

♪ Let's laugh it off And move the fuck on ♪

♪ So, thank you, Abbott and Costello ♪

♪ And Leno on Letterman ♪

♪ Thank you, Ruth Buzzi's pocketbook ♪

♪ And every scream from Kinison ♪

♪ Thank you, Lucy For baking your bread ♪

♪ And Spinal Tap for going to 11 ♪

♪ Thank you, Three Stooges And Jerry Lewis ♪

♪ You've made me happy since I was seven ♪

♪ Thank you Marx Brothers and Gleason on the bus ♪

♪ Thanks to Benny Hill For smacking the old bald guy for us ♪

♪ Thank you, Carol Burnett George Carlin, and SCTV too ♪

♪ Eddie Murphy My whole fucking neighborhood ♪

♪ Wanted to be you ♪

♪ Thank you, Sanford and Son Joan Rivers, and the 2000 Year Old Man ♪

♪ Lily Tomlin, David Brenner ♪

♪ Flip Wilson and Roseanne ♪

♪ Thanks to Billy, Robin, and Whoopi For showing comedy cares ♪

♪ Thanks to Peter Sellers For falling down the stairs ♪

♪ Rickles and Goldie, Stephen Wright And Madeline Kahn ♪

♪ Aykroyd and Belushi ♪

♪ The Jerky Boys Cheech and fucking Chong ♪

♪ Airplane, Stir Crazy, The Jerk And Easy-fucking-Money ♪

♪ Animal House and Caddyshack ♪

♪ The kings of the funny ♪

♪ Pee-wee, Borat, Powers, Mean Girls The Wayans and Farrelly brothers ♪

♪ Superbad, Elf, Hangover And those Jackass motherfuckers ♪

♪ Thank you, Chris Rock ♪

♪ Seinfeld and Colin Quinn ♪

♪ Herlihy, Jack, Coraci, and Apatow ♪

♪ Barrymore and Aniston ♪

♪ Love you, Buscemi and Stiller ♪

♪ Love you Triumph and Conie ♪

♪ Spade, KJ, Meadows and Schneider ♪

♪ Will always be my homies ♪

♪ Thank you, Downey ♪

♪ Thank you, Lorne ♪

♪ Thank you, Farley ♪

♪ Thank you, Norm ♪

♪ They say jokes can stay funny forever ♪

♪ A good joke can stay funny forever ♪

♪ Movies get older But the kids still get 'em ♪

♪ All the great laughs Yeah, we'll never forget 'em ♪

♪ That's why I say ♪

♪ Thank you ♪

♪ Thank you ♪

♪ Good night ♪

♪ So if you look in my direction ♪

♪ And we don't see eye-to-eye ♪

♪ My heart needs protection ♪

♪ And so do I ♪

♪ It's gonna take a lotta love ♪

♪ To get us through the night ♪

♪ It's gonna take a lotta love ♪

♪ To make this work out right ♪

♪ So if you are out there waiting ♪

♪ I hope you show up soon ♪

♪ You know I need relating ♪

♪ Not solitude ♪

♪ Got a lotta love ♪

♪ Got a lotta love ♪

♪ It's gonna take a lotta love ♪

♪ To change the way things are ♪

♪ It's gonna take a lotta love ♪

♪ Or we won't get too far ♪

♪ It's gonna take a lotta love ♪