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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:46,005 --> 00:00:47,651 - Are you gonna cum, babe? - Yeah. 2 00:00:47,675 --> 00:00:48,675 Yeah. 3 00:01:02,755 --> 00:01:05,625 - You didn't cum again. - Yeah, I did. 4 00:01:05,715 --> 00:01:09,125 No, you didn't. 5 00:01:11,335 --> 00:01:13,965 I did. 6 00:01:16,545 --> 00:01:17,545 No, you didn't. 7 00:01:27,465 --> 00:01:28,625 Uh, stop, stop. 8 00:01:28,715 --> 00:01:30,965 St... stop. 9 00:01:31,045 --> 00:01:32,795 I haven't showered. 10 00:01:32,875 --> 00:01:34,085 I don't care. 11 00:01:37,545 --> 00:01:40,465 Tastes good to me. 12 00:01:40,545 --> 00:01:42,085 Close your eyes. 13 00:01:48,295 --> 00:01:51,175 Rafi, stop. 14 00:01:51,255 --> 00:01:53,715 No, Rafi, stop, stop. I keep thinking about my mom. 15 00:01:53,795 --> 00:01:55,675 I just... I can't do this. 16 00:01:55,755 --> 00:01:57,255 You're thinking about your mom? 17 00:01:58,686 --> 00:02:01,440 She's not coming until the afternoon, babe. Relax. 18 00:02:01,475 --> 00:02:03,538 Just stop thinking about your mom. 19 00:02:03,625 --> 00:02:05,045 I don't... 20 00:02:05,085 --> 00:02:06,795 ♪ Throw your hands in the air ♪ 21 00:02:06,875 --> 00:02:08,625 ♪ Just throw your hands in the air ♪ 22 00:02:08,715 --> 00:02:10,335 ♪ Just throw your hands in the air ♪ 23 00:02:10,425 --> 00:02:12,175 Stay. Oh... 24 00:02:12,255 --> 00:02:14,175 ♪ My name is Ciara ♪ 25 00:02:14,255 --> 00:02:16,045 ♪ For all you fly fellas ♪ 26 00:02:16,125 --> 00:02:17,755 ♪ No one can do it better ♪ 27 00:02:17,835 --> 00:02:20,045 ♪ I'll sing in acapella ♪ 28 00:02:20,125 --> 00:02:24,715 ♪ Boy, the music makes me lose control ♪ 29 00:02:24,795 --> 00:02:26,425 ♪ We gon' make you lose control ♪ 30 00:02:26,505 --> 00:02:28,125 ♪ Let it go 'fore you know ♪ 31 00:02:28,215 --> 00:02:30,545 This is a legit bachelor party. You outdid yourself. 32 00:02:30,625 --> 00:02:32,425 - It's coming together. - How much you pay? 33 00:02:32,505 --> 00:02:34,505 What? No, I use... used Ally's credit card. 34 00:02:34,585 --> 00:02:35,795 - What? - Hang on. 35 00:02:35,875 --> 00:02:37,915 Let me turn the music down. 36 00:02:38,005 --> 00:02:39,731 ♪ Fire it up, bring the roof down and holla ♪ 37 00:02:41,005 --> 00:02:42,335 I said I used Ally's credit card, 38 00:02:42,425 --> 00:02:43,965 but I am going to pay her back. 39 00:02:43,990 --> 00:02:45,665 Taking the rich people's money. 40 00:02:45,690 --> 00:02:47,534 - No. - That's what I'm talkin' 'bout. 41 00:02:47,559 --> 00:02:49,585 I really gotta give it back to her. 42 00:02:49,675 --> 00:02:50,965 This is becoming a problem. 43 00:02:51,045 --> 00:02:52,585 Yeah, I see. What else you get, then? 44 00:02:52,675 --> 00:02:54,335 Um, I got pussy stuff. 45 00:02:54,425 --> 00:02:57,335 This is comedy. Pussy straws. 46 00:02:57,360 --> 00:02:59,000 I also got a stripper coming from Groupon. 47 00:02:59,025 --> 00:03:01,235 - Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! - Mm-hmm. 48 00:03:01,425 --> 00:03:02,875 You sure about the stripper, though? 49 00:03:02,900 --> 00:03:04,980 What? Rafi loves strippers. 50 00:03:05,005 --> 00:03:07,101 - His mom was a stripper. - Exactly. Stripper, alcohol... 51 00:03:07,125 --> 00:03:08,835 - I don't know. - You know what? Actually, 52 00:03:08,915 --> 00:03:10,561 We should probably order her before it gets too late. 53 00:03:10,585 --> 00:03:12,191 I need your help, 'cause we can customize her. 54 00:03:12,215 --> 00:03:13,821 - Okay. - Get a blonde. 55 00:03:13,846 --> 00:03:16,072 "Get a blonde"? No. A blonde's so boring. 56 00:03:16,127 --> 00:03:17,351 - Yuck. Gross. - You're a hater. 57 00:03:17,375 --> 00:03:18,625 No. Nelson's a blonde. 58 00:03:18,650 --> 00:03:20,210 We gotta get a girl he could never get. 59 00:03:20,445 --> 00:03:21,678 What he can't get? 60 00:03:21,703 --> 00:03:23,263 There's a lot of girls he couldn't get. 61 00:03:23,539 --> 00:03:24,869 Like a girl from Long Island 62 00:03:24,949 --> 00:03:26,345 who had One Direction play at her bat mitzvah. 63 00:03:26,369 --> 00:03:28,079 Couldn't get her. 64 00:03:28,159 --> 00:03:29,879 A Scottish lady who's into Highland dancing. 65 00:03:29,949 --> 00:03:31,568 - Hmm? - A Native American 66 00:03:31,593 --> 00:03:32,811 who's never been off the res. 67 00:03:32,843 --> 00:03:34,497 - I could keep going. - That's mad specific. 68 00:03:34,521 --> 00:03:35,521 Is that even an option? 69 00:03:35,546 --> 00:03:37,256 No, but you can pick a hair color. 70 00:03:37,510 --> 00:03:39,420 "Blonde, black, red, bald, 'fro." 71 00:03:39,510 --> 00:03:40,750 - Red. - Red. 72 00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:42,510 Okay. Breasts. 73 00:03:42,590 --> 00:03:44,090 - I like Bs. - I like Cs. 74 00:03:44,170 --> 00:03:45,630 - What about Ds? - Ds is cool. 75 00:03:45,710 --> 00:03:48,420 - What about double Ds? - Double Ds! 76 00:03:48,510 --> 00:03:50,170 Fs! 77 00:03:50,260 --> 00:03:51,800 - F is the wave. - F would be wild. 78 00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:53,670 - Let's get the wild. - Okay. F. 79 00:03:53,750 --> 00:03:55,260 Oh, no. F is extra. 80 00:03:55,340 --> 00:03:56,460 Oh. Get the Ds. 81 00:03:56,550 --> 00:03:59,010 Get the Ds. On it! 82 00:03:59,090 --> 00:04:01,420 "Searching." 83 00:04:01,510 --> 00:04:03,670 "Ember"! 84 00:04:03,750 --> 00:04:06,340 "An Ember to remember." 85 00:04:06,420 --> 00:04:08,750 She knows when to hold 'em. She knows when to fold 'em, 86 00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:10,146 "She knows when to sit on your dick." 87 00:04:10,170 --> 00:04:11,750 - That's a great brand. - Great brand. 88 00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:13,050 Order her. 89 00:04:23,340 --> 00:04:25,840 Come on. 90 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:27,670 Come on. Come on. 91 00:04:27,750 --> 00:04:30,920 Shit. 92 00:04:31,010 --> 00:04:35,050 Oof. 93 00:04:40,130 --> 00:04:41,810 - Hi! - Come in, come in, come in. 94 00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:43,630 Hello. Hi, beauty. 95 00:04:43,710 --> 00:04:45,800 Hi. Oh, my God. 96 00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:47,460 Winnie, you look so different. 97 00:04:47,550 --> 00:04:49,050 Can you move back a bit, please? 98 00:04:49,130 --> 00:04:50,690 My personal space bubble's quite large. 99 00:04:50,750 --> 00:04:52,920 But you're not anymore. 100 00:04:53,010 --> 00:04:54,630 Doesn't she look amazing? 101 00:04:54,710 --> 00:04:56,750 Mm-hmm. Hey, who wants some wine? 102 00:04:56,840 --> 00:04:58,630 I do. What's the Wi-Fi? 103 00:04:58,710 --> 00:05:00,340 Oh, um, it's #blessed, 104 00:05:00,420 --> 00:05:03,130 smiley face, smiley face. 105 00:05:03,210 --> 00:05:05,010 - What do you think? - I like it. 106 00:05:05,035 --> 00:05:06,606 - Of the house? - But as you get older, 107 00:05:06,630 --> 00:05:09,000 you realize that less is more, you know? 108 00:05:09,124 --> 00:05:10,414 Uh-huh. 109 00:05:10,439 --> 00:05:12,876 - I almost died. - Yes, she did. 110 00:05:12,901 --> 00:05:15,768 But there's always a silver lining to every story. 111 00:05:16,589 --> 00:05:18,760 My kidneys nearly completely shut down. 112 00:05:18,785 --> 00:05:20,615 Yeah, but look what you got out of it. 113 00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:21,848 You dropped 30 pounds. 114 00:05:21,896 --> 00:05:23,646 I had to wear diapers for a month, 115 00:05:23,726 --> 00:05:25,976 which actually, I quite liked. 116 00:05:26,066 --> 00:05:28,016 I never had to get up to go to the bathroom. 117 00:05:28,106 --> 00:05:29,556 Thank you. 118 00:05:29,646 --> 00:05:32,016 So Dad's not... Dad's not coming in? 119 00:05:32,106 --> 00:05:34,396 Maybe I should start a line of adult diapers. 120 00:05:34,476 --> 00:05:38,378 But not for old people. For, like, cool young adults. 121 00:05:38,941 --> 00:05:40,325 Black for evening. 122 00:05:40,350 --> 00:05:41,596 Dad is not coming 123 00:05:41,605 --> 00:05:43,405 because he doesn't wanna see you in your dress 124 00:05:43,475 --> 00:05:45,435 before the big day. 125 00:05:45,515 --> 00:05:46,515 That's the groom, Mum. 126 00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:50,105 Would you shut up, Winnie? 127 00:05:50,185 --> 00:05:52,765 Ew. That's so gross. 128 00:05:55,515 --> 00:05:56,935 Wait, will you rub my feet? 129 00:05:57,015 --> 00:05:58,765 So catch up. Tell me about Bali. 130 00:05:58,855 --> 00:06:02,105 Oh, my God. I met this guru, Ravana Shiva. 131 00:06:02,185 --> 00:06:05,015 Oh, he's amazing. He's a spiritual healer. 132 00:06:05,105 --> 00:06:08,855 - Yeah? - He opened me up completely. 133 00:06:08,935 --> 00:06:11,355 I mean, I was really stuck before. 134 00:06:11,435 --> 00:06:15,015 Like, he massaged my eyes for, like, 20 minutes, 135 00:06:15,105 --> 00:06:17,776 and if he just touched my hair, 136 00:06:17,823 --> 00:06:19,339 I would have an orgasm. 137 00:06:19,395 --> 00:06:22,515 I would be laying on the table and just, like, 138 00:06:22,605 --> 00:06:25,855 shaking with this full-body vibration. 139 00:06:25,935 --> 00:06:28,765 He would just... he could... he sucked my toes. 140 00:06:30,145 --> 00:06:33,515 It was amazing. It was so freeing. 141 00:06:33,605 --> 00:06:36,895 Oh, God. 142 00:06:36,975 --> 00:06:40,765 - It's hot. - Yes, it is! 143 00:06:40,855 --> 00:06:44,315 - It's effin' hot. - I know. 144 00:06:44,395 --> 00:06:46,605 Maybe you shouldn't wear a sweater on your neck. 145 00:06:46,685 --> 00:06:48,291 - Come on. What are you doing? - I'm just saying. 146 00:06:48,315 --> 00:06:50,315 - No, what are you doing? - This is a will packet. 147 00:06:50,340 --> 00:06:52,340 - I got it at the post office. - Oh, God. 148 00:06:52,475 --> 00:06:54,555 It's always so effing depressing when I come in here. 149 00:06:54,645 --> 00:06:55,951 What's depressing about a will packet? 150 00:06:55,975 --> 00:06:57,291 Every time I come in here, somebody's dead 151 00:06:57,315 --> 00:06:58,531 or somebody's taking their meds 152 00:06:58,555 --> 00:06:59,935 or somebody's asleep on the couch. 153 00:07:00,015 --> 00:07:01,685 Well, jeez, I'm sorry that Joe died 154 00:07:01,765 --> 00:07:03,065 when it wasn't your timetable. 155 00:07:03,145 --> 00:07:04,917 No, come on. You don't have to do all this, Coll. 156 00:07:04,934 --> 00:07:07,807 I'm doing it. I'm doing it. And besides, it said right here 157 00:07:07,832 --> 00:07:10,738 that maybe I've got a good five or ten more years in me 158 00:07:10,763 --> 00:07:13,013 - and that's it. That's it. - Oh, Coll! Who said that? 159 00:07:13,093 --> 00:07:14,649 - A computer said... - They said it right there 160 00:07:14,673 --> 00:07:16,513 - on the computer. - That's a computer program! 161 00:07:16,553 --> 00:07:19,223 So that's it. I'm staying here. I am not moving, all right? 162 00:07:19,303 --> 00:07:21,053 And I'm going upstairs to take a shower. 163 00:07:21,133 --> 00:07:23,173 I'm so hot. 164 00:07:23,263 --> 00:07:24,763 You have psoriasis? 165 00:07:24,843 --> 00:07:26,343 Five to ten years left! 166 00:07:26,423 --> 00:07:27,903 Gross. 167 00:07:27,962 --> 00:07:29,528 So you'd go to Hawaii to go get a kombucha? 168 00:07:29,552 --> 00:07:31,362 Why don't you just go to Puerto Rico 169 00:07:31,387 --> 00:07:32,792 and do, like, the ayahuasca shit? 170 00:07:32,817 --> 00:07:34,237 My cousin does it all the time... 171 00:07:34,317 --> 00:07:35,997 Okay, guys! He-he's here. Hide, hide, hide. 172 00:07:36,022 --> 00:07:37,043 Quick, quick. Before he comes in. 173 00:07:37,067 --> 00:07:38,737 Come on, come on. 174 00:07:41,897 --> 00:07:43,107 Yo, Carlos. 175 00:07:43,197 --> 00:07:44,447 Yo, 'Los! 176 00:07:44,527 --> 00:07:46,817 Surprise! 177 00:07:46,897 --> 00:07:48,447 Ay! Whoa! 178 00:07:49,987 --> 00:07:51,897 Teta! Teta! 179 00:07:51,987 --> 00:07:53,663 Titties in your face! Titties in your face! 180 00:07:53,687 --> 00:07:55,817 Teta! Teta! 181 00:07:55,897 --> 00:07:57,987 This is your bachelor party 182 00:07:58,067 --> 00:07:59,987 in my house, courtesy of Bridge. 183 00:08:00,067 --> 00:08:01,987 - It's all her. - Thank you! 184 00:08:02,067 --> 00:08:03,737 - You did this? - Yep. 185 00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,397 - Coca Cola... - Bachelor party! 186 00:08:05,487 --> 00:08:07,327 - A cup for my big brother. - A cup? All right. 187 00:08:07,357 --> 00:08:09,357 No, I have this for you. It's a pink penis 188 00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:11,197 filled with coconut water. 189 00:08:11,277 --> 00:08:13,817 - Oh, thank you. - Okay. Let's get started. 190 00:08:15,447 --> 00:08:18,987 Nelson, why won't these things work? 191 00:08:19,067 --> 00:08:20,715 - Oh. - Mum, do you really 192 00:08:20,740 --> 00:08:23,637 need to charge every single one of your devices right now? 193 00:08:23,662 --> 00:08:25,202 Nelson's wearing the dress. 194 00:08:25,306 --> 00:08:27,306 Yeah, I do. 195 00:08:27,527 --> 00:08:29,676 - It's very tight. - How is that possible? 196 00:08:29,701 --> 00:08:32,080 You're like a skeleton with a wig on. 197 00:08:32,105 --> 00:08:33,113 - Hey. - Sorry. 198 00:08:33,168 --> 00:08:34,806 I'm very tired from the flight. 199 00:08:36,391 --> 00:08:38,371 Mom was in first class, but I was in economy. 200 00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:41,161 No, you were in economy plus. 201 00:08:41,241 --> 00:08:43,621 Gratitude, Winnie. 202 00:08:44,741 --> 00:08:48,699 Oh! You look so beautiful. 203 00:08:48,724 --> 00:08:51,779 - Whee. - Look at her. 204 00:08:51,873 --> 00:08:53,459 Yeah, you look like a painting. 205 00:08:53,483 --> 00:08:55,773 Actually, you look just like me. 206 00:08:55,863 --> 00:08:59,193 I was tiny. 207 00:08:59,273 --> 00:09:01,944 I wish your father was here to see you. 208 00:09:02,117 --> 00:09:03,947 - Don't you think? - Mm. 209 00:09:04,037 --> 00:09:05,867 One big, happy family. 210 00:09:05,947 --> 00:09:07,828 I think I know what he would say. 211 00:09:07,853 --> 00:09:10,657 - What? - "I am so honored 212 00:09:10,737 --> 00:09:14,217 to hand off my prettiest"... 213 00:09:14,242 --> 00:09:15,287 Stop. 214 00:09:15,367 --> 00:09:17,787 ... "sweetest, straightest"... 215 00:09:17,867 --> 00:09:19,617 Don't do this. 216 00:09:19,642 --> 00:09:21,040 ... "blondest daughter"... 217 00:09:21,065 --> 00:09:22,423 Oh, come on. 218 00:09:22,448 --> 00:09:23,751 "The one who, if she died," 219 00:09:23,776 --> 00:09:25,660 it would really mess me up for a while, 220 00:09:25,685 --> 00:09:27,632 "and she does have a job, which is good." 221 00:09:27,657 --> 00:09:29,577 Stop it. 222 00:09:29,657 --> 00:09:31,697 You are so funny, Winnie. 223 00:09:31,722 --> 00:09:34,592 But you know that we love you both exactly the same. 224 00:09:34,737 --> 00:09:36,787 Mm-hmm. Fuck, it's hot in here. 225 00:09:36,867 --> 00:09:38,947 Can you turn the air con up? 226 00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:42,447 Ugh, I can feel my fat flaps chafing. 227 00:09:42,527 --> 00:09:44,367 My thighs are all wet and sweaty. 228 00:09:44,447 --> 00:09:45,947 Here, let me fix this. 229 00:09:46,037 --> 00:09:47,527 Ooh. 230 00:09:47,617 --> 00:09:50,157 You are so gorgeous. 231 00:09:50,237 --> 00:09:52,077 - I'm excited. - You are? 232 00:09:52,157 --> 00:09:54,867 Yeah, I'm excited to... to wear this. 233 00:09:54,947 --> 00:09:57,827 - Yeah? - And get married. 234 00:09:57,907 --> 00:10:01,947 I know! My baby, you're gonna get married. 235 00:10:02,037 --> 00:10:03,697 - Mm-hmm. - My little one. 236 00:10:05,407 --> 00:10:07,237 You're so beautiful. 237 00:10:07,327 --> 00:10:10,617 You really are so pretty. 238 00:10:10,697 --> 00:10:12,737 You're gonna be a bride, yeah? 239 00:10:14,577 --> 00:10:16,737 Don't you feel sexy? 240 00:10:16,827 --> 00:10:18,787 So feminine and sensual. 241 00:10:18,867 --> 00:10:20,447 Get off. It's hot. 242 00:10:20,527 --> 00:10:22,447 - Yeah? - Told you it was hot in here. 243 00:10:22,527 --> 00:10:24,327 It is kind of hot in here. 244 00:10:27,117 --> 00:10:29,577 I feel like I can't breathe. Can you help me get out? 245 00:10:29,657 --> 00:10:31,013 - I need to take it off. - What? 246 00:10:31,037 --> 00:10:32,617 - I need to take it off. - Really? 247 00:10:32,697 --> 00:10:34,237 Um, I don't wanna wear this anymore. 248 00:10:34,327 --> 00:10:36,617 Okay. We're gonna... 249 00:10:36,697 --> 00:10:38,617 - Can you take it off? - Yes, I'm doing it. 250 00:10:38,697 --> 00:10:40,787 - Please hurry. - It's a really old zipper. 251 00:10:40,867 --> 00:10:43,367 Winnie! Can you come and help me? 252 00:10:43,447 --> 00:10:45,657 It's stuck in the lining. See? 253 00:10:45,737 --> 00:10:48,527 - Let me try. - Can you hurry? 254 00:10:48,617 --> 00:10:51,037 Oh, shit. Fuck, it's really stuck. 255 00:10:51,117 --> 00:10:52,697 Can we just pull it off really hard? 256 00:10:52,787 --> 00:10:54,327 No, 'cause you'll rip it. 257 00:10:54,407 --> 00:10:57,077 Hold on. Don't do that breathing thing like that. 258 00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:58,987 - I can't... - Hang on. 259 00:10:59,077 --> 00:11:00,867 I once stretched out a pair of jeans 260 00:11:00,892 --> 00:11:02,602 by soaking them in some hot water. 261 00:11:02,682 --> 00:11:03,713 - Really? - Yeah. 262 00:11:03,738 --> 00:11:05,447 Just... 263 00:11:07,157 --> 00:11:08,447 One, two, three. 264 00:11:08,527 --> 00:11:10,617 Go! 265 00:11:10,697 --> 00:11:12,447 ♪ Hey, ladies ♪ 266 00:11:12,527 --> 00:11:14,657 ♪ You wanna get it started? ♪ 267 00:11:14,737 --> 00:11:16,987 ♪ Hey, ladies ♪ 268 00:11:17,077 --> 00:11:19,617 ♪ Oh, you the party, hey ♪ 269 00:11:19,697 --> 00:11:21,617 ♪ If you the party, I'ma get at you ♪ 270 00:11:21,697 --> 00:11:23,657 ♪ Ay, if you the party, I'ma get at you... ♪ 271 00:11:23,737 --> 00:11:25,367 You a lying motherfucker, bro! 272 00:11:25,447 --> 00:11:27,987 ♪ So where you at? So where you at? ♪ 273 00:11:28,077 --> 00:11:29,907 ♪ Ay, get it, get it, get it ♪ 274 00:11:29,987 --> 00:11:31,787 ♪ Get it, yeah ♪ 275 00:11:31,867 --> 00:11:33,527 ♪ Get, get, get, get it, yeah, yeah ♪ 276 00:11:33,617 --> 00:11:35,527 ♪ Get, get, get, get it, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 277 00:11:35,617 --> 00:11:37,487 ♪ Yeah ♪ 278 00:11:37,512 --> 00:11:38,647 Her mood swings 279 00:11:38,671 --> 00:11:40,987 ranging from elation to despair, 280 00:11:41,077 --> 00:11:43,037 she describes dying as an art. 281 00:11:43,117 --> 00:11:45,197 - Mm. - In her famous poem 282 00:11:45,287 --> 00:11:47,138 Lady Lazarus, written shortly 283 00:11:47,169 --> 00:11:48,761 after she and Ted separated... 284 00:11:48,827 --> 00:11:50,197 - Hey. - Hey. 285 00:11:50,287 --> 00:11:52,077 - What are you doing now? - Oh, thank you. 286 00:11:52,157 --> 00:11:53,553 ... Sylvia speaks about her depression... 287 00:11:53,577 --> 00:11:55,907 That thing just said I'm gonna live to 120. 288 00:11:55,987 --> 00:11:58,447 I bet you will. 289 00:11:58,527 --> 00:12:00,367 Oh, fuck, it's hot. 290 00:12:00,447 --> 00:12:02,367 ... physical aggression, and many say 291 00:12:02,447 --> 00:12:03,803 this abusive relationship ultimately led... 292 00:12:03,827 --> 00:12:05,447 Oh, shit. 293 00:12:05,527 --> 00:12:06,843 ... to Sylvia's suicide. 294 00:12:06,867 --> 00:12:08,947 Oh, shit, no. Not that again. 295 00:12:09,037 --> 00:12:10,327 - What again? - Depressing stuff. 296 00:12:10,407 --> 00:12:13,157 It's real life, Jackie. Open your eyes. 297 00:12:13,237 --> 00:12:14,593 I know it's real life. It's also real boring. 298 00:12:14,617 --> 00:12:15,987 It's real depressing. 299 00:12:16,077 --> 00:12:17,737 Oh, come on. 300 00:12:17,827 --> 00:12:19,287 It's mother's milk to me, honey. 301 00:12:19,367 --> 00:12:20,787 Oh, please. 302 00:12:20,867 --> 00:12:23,157 She was a local, you know? Boston. 303 00:12:23,237 --> 00:12:25,077 "I rise with my red hair", 304 00:12:25,157 --> 00:12:26,907 and I eat men like air." 305 00:12:28,527 --> 00:12:30,287 What the fuck is she talking about? 306 00:12:30,367 --> 00:12:32,447 Oh, she's talking about she's underappreciated, 307 00:12:32,527 --> 00:12:34,527 and you know what? 308 00:12:34,617 --> 00:12:37,284 She's still got it in her to rip their heads off, you know? 309 00:12:37,417 --> 00:12:38,947 Oh, yeah, you got that from the poem. 310 00:12:39,037 --> 00:12:41,058 - I did. - Oh, God, it's hot. 311 00:12:41,245 --> 00:12:43,237 It is hot. Oh, Jackie. 312 00:12:43,327 --> 00:12:44,803 - We're going to the beach. - We're what? 313 00:12:44,827 --> 00:12:46,303 - Let's go to the beach. - No, Jackie. 314 00:12:46,327 --> 00:12:48,197 - Yeah. - Come on. I don't wanna go 315 00:12:48,287 --> 00:12:49,963 - to the beach now, Jackie. - I'm getting your swimsuit. 316 00:12:49,987 --> 00:12:51,117 The sand sticks everywhere. 317 00:12:51,197 --> 00:12:52,697 You get it in your hoo-ha. Forget it. 318 00:12:52,787 --> 00:12:54,407 Where's your swimsuit? Coll? 319 00:12:54,487 --> 00:12:56,907 It's in my luggage right there. 320 00:12:56,987 --> 00:12:59,737 Your luggage? Where you going? 321 00:12:59,827 --> 00:13:01,077 It's from the river cruise. 322 00:13:01,157 --> 00:13:03,367 I haven't been able to unpack it. 323 00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:08,577 We can unpack it together. 324 00:13:08,657 --> 00:13:10,737 ... drawn to Hughes, who she described... 325 00:13:10,827 --> 00:13:13,787 You want me to do it? 326 00:13:13,867 --> 00:13:15,077 Sure. 327 00:13:15,157 --> 00:13:16,787 - Yeah. - You know what I'll do? 328 00:13:16,867 --> 00:13:18,037 I'll go out on the back porch 329 00:13:18,117 --> 00:13:20,657 and I'll fill up Larry's kiddy pool. 330 00:13:20,737 --> 00:13:23,527 You come out when you're done. 331 00:13:25,407 --> 00:13:26,807 Ay! 332 00:13:26,867 --> 00:13:30,197 Oh! 333 00:13:30,287 --> 00:13:32,487 Let's go! 334 00:13:32,577 --> 00:13:34,197 Ay! Ay! 335 00:13:37,617 --> 00:13:39,197 No! 336 00:13:39,287 --> 00:13:40,577 Ah! 337 00:13:43,157 --> 00:13:44,503 You should be wearing this shit, though. 338 00:13:44,527 --> 00:13:46,117 "Hola, wife. Adiós, life." Hola, wife. 339 00:13:46,197 --> 00:13:48,037 Okay, everyone. Listen up. 340 00:13:48,117 --> 00:13:49,303 It's time to give Rafi advice. 341 00:13:49,327 --> 00:13:51,466 You gotta give Rafi some advice as he embarks 342 00:13:51,491 --> 00:13:53,407 - on this journey. - No. Boo. Nah. 343 00:13:53,487 --> 00:13:55,367 - You're first. - Uh... 344 00:13:55,447 --> 00:13:57,697 now that you're getting married, 345 00:13:57,787 --> 00:14:00,577 next time, don't send a picture of Nelson's tits, 346 00:14:00,657 --> 00:14:02,327 because I can't unsee these no more. 347 00:14:02,407 --> 00:14:03,883 What? That's not... 348 00:14:03,907 --> 00:14:05,001 - I don't like that shit. - Stop. 349 00:14:05,025 --> 00:14:07,987 - That's so fucked up. - We weren't serious yet. 350 00:14:08,077 --> 00:14:09,463 - I mean, you're kind of right. - Yo, delete that shit. 351 00:14:09,487 --> 00:14:11,867 I mean, I masturbated to those tits so many times. 352 00:14:11,947 --> 00:14:13,327 - You what? - What? 353 00:14:17,237 --> 00:14:18,237 I'm just kidding. 354 00:14:19,827 --> 00:14:23,327 Ay! 355 00:14:23,407 --> 00:14:24,947 - They ain't even that nice. - Stop. 356 00:14:25,037 --> 00:14:26,383 No, they're nice. She's so beautiful. 357 00:14:26,407 --> 00:14:27,987 Yo, Carlos, you see what you did? 358 00:14:28,077 --> 00:14:29,263 - Change the subject. - Yeah, she's beautiful. 359 00:14:29,287 --> 00:14:31,327 She's hot. She's hot, but, like... 360 00:14:31,407 --> 00:14:33,673 I like Nelson, but just... nah, y'all are laughing at shit, 361 00:14:33,697 --> 00:14:35,737 but, like, if that white South African bitch 362 00:14:35,827 --> 00:14:37,047 do some shit to you, I'll, like... 363 00:14:38,867 --> 00:14:40,263 Like, I'll fucking kill that bitch like it's no... 364 00:14:40,287 --> 00:14:42,037 - She's South African? - Australian. 365 00:14:42,117 --> 00:14:44,144 Whatever, but, like, I support you, 366 00:14:44,169 --> 00:14:46,947 and you, you... 367 00:14:47,037 --> 00:14:48,287 you're worth love. 368 00:14:48,367 --> 00:14:50,617 That's all I gotta say. You're worth love. 369 00:14:50,697 --> 00:14:52,284 - That means so much to me. - I love you, Rafi. 370 00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:54,628 - I love you, sis. All right? - Okay, I'll go next. 371 00:14:54,652 --> 00:14:55,924 - My turn. - Oh, no. 372 00:14:55,940 --> 00:14:57,860 I feel like I'm giving away the bride. 373 00:14:57,940 --> 00:14:59,940 Um... 374 00:15:00,701 --> 00:15:01,911 no, for real, though. 375 00:15:01,936 --> 00:15:03,436 I was thinking about it earlier, 376 00:15:03,461 --> 00:15:05,052 and I was thinking about the time 377 00:15:05,076 --> 00:15:06,560 when I was eight months pregnant, 378 00:15:06,585 --> 00:15:08,682 you were passed out on the one piece of furniture we had 379 00:15:08,706 --> 00:15:10,576 and you told me you had the flu. 380 00:15:10,656 --> 00:15:13,116 But really, you were high on syrup. 381 00:15:13,206 --> 00:15:15,996 Uh, and I was thinking about the time 382 00:15:16,076 --> 00:15:19,116 you needed to go get that OxyContin or whatever 383 00:15:19,206 --> 00:15:21,406 from that guy in Maryland... Baltimore, 384 00:15:21,496 --> 00:15:23,066 and you were begging me to come with you, 385 00:15:23,090 --> 00:15:24,604 but my grandma was in the hospital. 386 00:15:24,629 --> 00:15:25,874 You were like, "Baby, I need you. I just need you." 387 00:15:25,898 --> 00:15:27,174 I can't be away from you," 388 00:15:27,206 --> 00:15:29,916 and so I went with you instead of visiting my grandmother. 389 00:15:29,996 --> 00:15:31,996 Remember? 390 00:15:34,786 --> 00:15:37,366 And then she died. 391 00:15:37,456 --> 00:15:39,342 And then I was thinking about the time 392 00:15:39,366 --> 00:15:43,189 that... I mean, the many times, 393 00:15:43,214 --> 00:15:45,111 but this one stood out in particular, 394 00:15:45,136 --> 00:15:48,706 where I locked myself in our room with all that takeout 395 00:15:48,831 --> 00:15:50,976 and hundreds of dollars' worth of groceries. 396 00:15:51,056 --> 00:15:53,056 And you dragged me out 397 00:15:53,136 --> 00:15:54,869 and you made me go to the Museum of Fine Arts 398 00:15:54,893 --> 00:15:56,516 even though you hate art 399 00:15:56,596 --> 00:15:59,136 'cause you knew that was what I needed. 400 00:15:59,226 --> 00:16:01,936 And so we've seen each other at our worst, 401 00:16:02,016 --> 00:16:03,976 at our shittiest, 402 00:16:04,056 --> 00:16:06,096 and yet, here we are... 403 00:16:06,176 --> 00:16:09,476 you know, doing the boob race and pin the hair on the pussy 404 00:16:09,556 --> 00:16:11,686 and all of us here together. 405 00:16:11,766 --> 00:16:13,585 Just, my point is that 406 00:16:13,695 --> 00:16:15,085 we've been through some shit 407 00:16:15,110 --> 00:16:18,528 and never gave up on each other. 408 00:16:18,626 --> 00:16:20,956 And... you're such a good dad. 409 00:16:20,981 --> 00:16:22,441 You need some tissue? 410 00:16:22,466 --> 00:16:23,843 Cheers. 411 00:16:23,868 --> 00:16:25,828 - Salud! - Yeah, salud, salud, salud. 412 00:16:25,853 --> 00:16:27,931 - I love you so much. - I love you too. 413 00:16:27,968 --> 00:16:30,628 - I'm here for you forever. - Cheers. Me too. 414 00:16:30,718 --> 00:16:33,088 But I wanna tell y'all about the time... 415 00:16:33,178 --> 00:16:36,810 that he shit his pants in fucking Target. 416 00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:38,152 - Get the fuck out of here. - In Target! 417 00:16:38,176 --> 00:16:39,677 - You wish. - It's 'cause of 418 00:16:39,702 --> 00:16:42,154 all the supplements you take. It's not good for you. 419 00:16:42,179 --> 00:16:43,665 Yo, Raf, you had white tighty-whities on... 420 00:16:45,479 --> 00:16:47,559 - That shit is real. - I did not hear that story. 421 00:16:47,639 --> 00:16:49,825 - The fuck, Raf? - You need some more? 422 00:16:49,849 --> 00:16:52,019 Um, I need to slow down. I need to slow down. 423 00:16:52,099 --> 00:16:53,575 Yeah, slow it down, 424 00:16:53,599 --> 00:16:55,769 slow it down. 425 00:17:43,179 --> 00:17:44,700 Coll? 426 00:17:44,725 --> 00:17:45,889 Yeah? 427 00:17:45,979 --> 00:17:47,849 I found this in your suitcase. 428 00:17:47,939 --> 00:17:49,639 Oh, yeah? What's that? 429 00:17:49,729 --> 00:17:51,439 It's from Joe. 430 00:17:54,439 --> 00:17:56,889 Oh, Jack. I don't know if I can do it. 431 00:17:59,939 --> 00:18:01,599 I can't, Jack. 432 00:18:01,689 --> 00:18:03,639 You read it. 433 00:18:14,389 --> 00:18:16,059 Jackie! Read it out loud. 434 00:18:16,139 --> 00:18:18,729 Well, I wanted to make sure that there wasn't anything 435 00:18:18,809 --> 00:18:20,139 in it that would upset you, or... 436 00:18:20,229 --> 00:18:22,479 "Dear Colleen"... 437 00:18:22,559 --> 00:18:26,849 "Imagine a happy group of morons carrying brick"... 438 00:18:28,809 --> 00:18:30,889 ... "day in and day out. 439 00:18:30,979 --> 00:18:34,179 One day, one of the morons realizes 440 00:18:34,269 --> 00:18:36,809 he can't carry his bricks anymore, 441 00:18:36,889 --> 00:18:41,769 so another moron generously takes on his load. 442 00:18:41,849 --> 00:18:44,889 We are the morons. 443 00:18:44,979 --> 00:18:48,559 I read that in a book once, Coll. 444 00:18:48,639 --> 00:18:52,229 I'm sorry you had to take care of me all these years. 445 00:18:52,309 --> 00:18:54,889 The truth is, I've been planning to do this 446 00:18:54,979 --> 00:18:59,099 since the second time I got out of the hospital. 447 00:18:59,179 --> 00:19:01,269 But I selfishly wanted 448 00:19:01,349 --> 00:19:05,689 to spend more time with you. 449 00:19:05,769 --> 00:19:07,559 But you're free now. 450 00:19:07,639 --> 00:19:10,729 Make your next chapter all for you. 451 00:19:10,809 --> 00:19:12,849 Don't wait. 452 00:19:12,939 --> 00:19:15,269 "Me and God are watching." 453 00:19:27,486 --> 00:19:30,949 ♪ Give me expert sexy women, manicure, pedicure... ♪ 454 00:19:31,019 --> 00:19:32,689 Bridge. The stripper, where is she? 455 00:19:32,769 --> 00:19:34,639 She's coming soon. 456 00:19:34,729 --> 00:19:37,849 - I ordered her. - You said that an hour ago. 457 00:19:37,939 --> 00:19:40,179 She should be here. Just chill. 458 00:19:46,689 --> 00:19:49,035 That's... that's a virus. That's what they call a virus. 459 00:19:51,139 --> 00:19:53,729 ♪ Kiss me all night ♪ 460 00:19:53,809 --> 00:19:57,979 ♪ If you play your cards right, play your cards... ♪ 461 00:19:58,004 --> 00:19:59,544 Hey, did you get... oh! 462 00:19:59,689 --> 00:20:01,075 Fuck that fucking stripper. 463 00:20:01,099 --> 00:20:02,809 Maybe we need a warmup act, huh? 464 00:20:02,889 --> 00:20:04,519 - Yeah! - Turn on the music. 465 00:20:04,599 --> 00:20:06,778 Come on. 466 00:20:06,803 --> 00:20:10,763 Yeah! You the one! 467 00:20:10,788 --> 00:20:12,458 Now get your fucking money out. 468 00:20:12,589 --> 00:20:14,669 Party's starting now! Take it off, take it off! 469 00:20:14,979 --> 00:20:16,889 Yeah! 470 00:20:17,019 --> 00:20:19,099 And I'm not talking about ones! 471 00:20:19,179 --> 00:20:20,889 All right, you're... you're almost there. 472 00:20:20,979 --> 00:20:23,455 You're almost there. Whoo! There it goes. 473 00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:26,641 - Get it, Bridgette! - A girls gotta live, right? 474 00:20:26,666 --> 00:20:28,689 Nah. You gonna get all my money, Bridge. 475 00:20:28,769 --> 00:20:30,769 Oh! Abuelita panties is on! 476 00:20:30,849 --> 00:20:32,935 - Granny panties! - I got 20 for that. Yeah! 477 00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:34,943 Where's your money, huh? Huh? Where's your money? 478 00:20:34,968 --> 00:20:37,639 Oh, but you're broke as fuck, huh? 479 00:20:37,729 --> 00:20:39,285 Yeah, you want some of this? 480 00:20:39,309 --> 00:20:41,639 I'm putting on a show for you. 481 00:20:41,729 --> 00:20:43,519 - Oh, yeah! - You said you'd give me 482 00:20:43,599 --> 00:20:45,439 everything I need, right? 483 00:21:19,019 --> 00:21:20,689 Bridgette. 484 00:21:20,769 --> 00:21:22,229 Bridgette. Stop. 485 00:21:22,309 --> 00:21:24,939 Oh! Are you okay? 486 00:21:25,019 --> 00:21:27,439 Get the fuck away from me. 487 00:21:27,519 --> 00:21:29,729 A girl's gotta do what she's gotta do, right? 488 00:21:29,809 --> 00:21:31,389 - Right. - Who wants a dance? 489 00:21:31,479 --> 00:21:32,939 Stop it, Bridge. 490 00:21:33,019 --> 00:21:34,495 What? I'm just trying to make a living. 491 00:21:34,519 --> 00:21:37,309 I'm just trying to put my kid through preschool. 492 00:21:37,389 --> 00:21:39,389 - Stop. - What? 493 00:21:39,414 --> 00:21:41,374 - Bridgette, stop. - You stop. 494 00:21:41,399 --> 00:21:42,455 - Stop it, Bridgette. - Stop what? 495 00:21:42,479 --> 00:21:43,660 - Bridgette. - Stop what? 496 00:21:43,685 --> 00:21:44,934 Oh, why? You wanna buy a ring 497 00:21:44,959 --> 00:21:46,210 instead of sending Larry to preschool? 498 00:21:46,234 --> 00:21:48,296 You want our kid not to go to the good preschool... 499 00:21:48,349 --> 00:21:49,719 - Bridgette, you're drunk! - So you can buy a fucking diamond ring? 500 00:21:49,743 --> 00:21:51,203 What the fuck was that? I just saw! 501 00:21:51,328 --> 00:21:52,983 - Stop it. You're drunk. - I just fucking saw. 502 00:21:53,007 --> 00:21:55,207 - Turn that music off. - Four thousand dollars? 503 00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:56,400 You're so fucked up. 504 00:21:56,425 --> 00:21:57,885 You're fucked up. 505 00:21:57,910 --> 00:21:59,910 Fuck you. 506 00:22:05,797 --> 00:22:07,507 - Hi! - Hi. 507 00:22:07,587 --> 00:22:09,627 - This the bachelor party? - They're inside. 508 00:22:09,717 --> 00:22:10,837 - Okay, thanks. - Yeah. 509 00:22:10,917 --> 00:22:12,507 Hey! 510 00:22:12,587 --> 00:22:15,749 - Hey! - Hey, baby. 511 00:22:15,828 --> 00:22:17,408 Feeling lucky today? 512 00:22:17,488 --> 00:22:19,328 Pick a card, any card. 513 00:22:19,408 --> 00:22:21,538 Why don't you pick a card? Don't be shy. 514 00:22:21,563 --> 00:22:23,358 Let me see what's under that pillow. 515 00:22:23,383 --> 00:22:25,973 - Oh, yeah! - It's my lucky day. 516 00:22:25,998 --> 00:22:28,168 Oh, stop that shit. You make me blush and shit. 517 00:22:28,448 --> 00:22:30,083 I'll see you later. Hey! 518 00:22:30,108 --> 00:22:31,698 No, thank you. I'm out. 519 00:22:31,788 --> 00:22:33,408 Bridgette? 520 00:22:33,488 --> 00:22:35,328 Oh, my God. Jill, hi! 521 00:22:35,353 --> 00:22:37,954 - Bridgette? - Oh, I'm so happy to see you. 522 00:22:37,979 --> 00:22:39,502 - Oh, my God. What the fuck? - You have no idea. 523 00:22:39,526 --> 00:22:41,276 I've had such a fucked up day. 524 00:22:42,095 --> 00:22:43,845 Oh, you guys, this is my friend Jill. 525 00:22:43,925 --> 00:22:46,175 We were in the same incest survivors group in rehab. 526 00:22:46,255 --> 00:22:48,845 - Don't. - It was just a workshop. 527 00:22:48,925 --> 00:22:51,215 I'm on the clock, so... 528 00:22:51,305 --> 00:22:53,129 time to dance for you guys, right? 529 00:22:53,154 --> 00:22:55,123 - Yeah! - Are you ready for some dancing? 530 00:22:55,154 --> 00:22:57,349 - Ember! - Empty those pockets! 531 00:22:57,374 --> 00:22:59,544 Who wants to see a sexy dance? 532 00:22:59,598 --> 00:23:02,098 - All right, Ember. - Ember! 533 00:23:02,123 --> 00:23:04,703 You don't have to do it, you know. 534 00:23:05,215 --> 00:23:07,595 You don't have to get married. 535 00:23:07,675 --> 00:23:11,255 I mean, you're amazing. You have this amazing career 536 00:23:11,345 --> 00:23:13,718 and you love what you're doing. 537 00:23:13,743 --> 00:23:14,874 And look at Winnie. 538 00:23:14,899 --> 00:23:17,070 She's saving all those street dogs 539 00:23:17,095 --> 00:23:20,255 and being gay. 540 00:23:20,345 --> 00:23:22,595 You have to make yourselves happy. 541 00:23:22,675 --> 00:23:24,095 Honestly. 542 00:23:26,135 --> 00:23:29,135 Is that my phone? Did I... do you hear my phone? 543 00:23:29,215 --> 00:23:30,595 Yeah. 544 00:23:30,675 --> 00:23:33,505 Okay, I'm gonna go face with Dad. 545 00:23:33,595 --> 00:23:35,215 Facetime. 547 00:23:41,635 --> 00:23:44,305 So I've been thinking... 548 00:23:44,385 --> 00:23:45,965 we should kill Mom. 549 00:23:46,045 --> 00:23:47,805 Or... 550 00:23:47,885 --> 00:23:50,845 you could just get yourself the fuck out of that dress. 551 00:23:55,845 --> 00:23:58,215 Don't be a fake. 552 00:24:33,135 --> 00:24:36,255 You're still here? 553 00:24:36,345 --> 00:24:38,175 Yeah, I have to stay out of the house 554 00:24:38,255 --> 00:24:40,925 until Nelson's mom leaves 555 00:24:41,005 --> 00:24:44,255 so I don't see her in her wedding dress. 556 00:24:44,345 --> 00:24:47,095 - Well, that's stupid. - So stupid. 557 00:24:47,175 --> 00:24:50,555 So you just waited here? 558 00:24:50,635 --> 00:24:52,965 I'm so stupid. 559 00:24:53,045 --> 00:24:55,385 No, you're not. 560 00:24:55,465 --> 00:24:59,675 It's just a lot of money to spend on nothing. 561 00:25:04,005 --> 00:25:06,345 Did you even look at the website? 562 00:25:06,425 --> 00:25:10,345 The preschool has telescopes in every classroom. 563 00:25:10,425 --> 00:25:12,885 It's, like, state-of-the-art. 564 00:25:12,965 --> 00:25:15,845 Yeah, they got this whole science lab 565 00:25:15,925 --> 00:25:19,095 and this whole gymnasium and, like, fields for days. 566 00:25:19,175 --> 00:25:22,135 They even do camping trips twice a year. 567 00:25:22,215 --> 00:25:24,045 They even have an elephant. 568 00:25:24,135 --> 00:25:26,345 - They have a elephant? - Well, no, 569 00:25:26,425 --> 00:25:28,065 but... it's the type of school that would. 570 00:25:28,135 --> 00:25:29,845 That would have an elephant. 571 00:25:29,925 --> 00:25:33,095 It's really cool. 572 00:25:33,175 --> 00:25:37,635 I want all that for Larry. 573 00:25:37,715 --> 00:25:40,385 I don't want him to be a fuckup like me. 574 00:25:49,345 --> 00:25:51,595 I want you to go to our wedding. 575 00:25:51,675 --> 00:25:53,885 You should be there. 576 00:26:10,385 --> 00:26:13,135 Bye, Rafi. 577 00:27:04,675 --> 00:27:07,005 Supahsmaht. 578 00:27:07,029 --> 00:27:12,029 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com - 40789

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